Letter To My Depression

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Hello
Old friend
Been awhile
Since our last meeting.

Not sure
Why I'm calling you
A friend.

Given
Our very destructive
Relationship
Over the years.

Which
More often
Then not
Have seen me
Trying to end
My life.

You realize
I am so tired
Of your presence
In my life.

Turning
My life
Upside down.

May surprise you
And accept your offer.

Just
To shut you
Up.

Silencing
Your seductive voice
Inside my head
Once and for all.

© 2011 Therisa Godwaldt

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Have suffer chronic depression for yrs

taggrrl's picture

Dorothy, I have lived with chronic depression and anxiety for most of my life. Add to this mixture, PTSD, since November 1974, after a very severe electrical burn to my mouth, which should have killed me. Still have the scars, both physically and emotionally, from that night. And yes, I had multiple surgeries to reduce the impact of the scarred tissue, on the outside of my mouth, but it's still visible.

As for being suicidally depressed, I haven't felt this way, since the holiday season of 2010-11, which is the last time, I attempted to take my life. This poem was written, in December 2011, during my annual fall/winter bout of depression, which starts at the beginning of November, and usually ends, about mid-March. Except for this year, my depression didn't depart like it normally does. As I am stuck, on a plateau that doesn't want to change.

Perfection is, always, one step beyond, where my feet are.

The problem w/ suicide

is everyone you leave behind has emotional scars for life.You don't end the pain you just pass it on. my brother killed himself. I got his kids . When Ihit the wall I could not do it to them again. Please! if you hit that point please reconsider and get help It can get better, I don't think I could have transitioned without getting help.

Am currently stably depressed

taggrrl's picture

Wendy, my last attempt was January 2, 2011. Since then, I have endured numerous bouts of depression, without being actively suicidal. While, having to deal with suicidal ideation, on a daily basis. To which, I'm able to block out, as background static.

Perfection is, always, one step beyond, where my feet are.