the 4 AM curse

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When I was training to be a Nurse's Aide, one of the things I was taught was that people with dementia often struggle more at night, and during my time in the job, I confirmed this for myself.

But its one thing when its a stranger who you are being paid to look after, another when its your own mother.

Its been really hard to have my mom wake me at 4 AM almost every day believing that the house is on fire, or Mike is injured, or most often, that Carol is going to come downstairs and throw her out into the street.

I'm doing the best I can for her, but especially when my own depression is active, its really hard not to feel that my best isn't good enough.

Anyway, all hugs appreciated.

Comments

Hugs en route, Dot.

Angharad's picture

Dementia is an awful disease and I've seen it in so many elderly people who vary much in their symptoms, but the night time waking is fairly common, especially if they sleep all day. I hope you aren't caring for your mum on your own, Dot because it requires several people or you will become ill through exhaustion and stress.

My favourite story told me by a friend was of this friend's mother, who was dementing and after she thought she got her off to bed having looked after her all day, she went to to do some gardening, her favourite hobby. A neighbour was passing and asked where her mother was and she replied, 'Up in bed,why?' The neighbour's answer was, 'Oh, I thought I saw her running down the street, sans nightdress.' It turned out to be true, the old lady had escaped and fortunately came to no harm.

I also remember an old lady who lost her husband while at a GP practice I was working. He had alzheimers but as long as she was with him, he was seemingly able to drive the car. We had every spare member of staff out looking for him, he turned up half an hour later in the upstairs waiting room, he was fast asleep and had been there all the time. We were all relieved at that.

Angharad