The next week at work was a bit of a come down really, everything just felt so drab and I think Anita knew I was feeling a bit down when he had our lunch time coffee. Finally she asked me to open up. I told her, “Everything just feels so different and strange now. The last week was great, but these clothes just feel so rough on me now, I miss having longer hair, everything just feels plain.” She put her hand on mine and told me that two days ago I would have found it much easier to speak to her and that while she can never really know what it feels like, she did appreciate everything I was doing for her. But to be honest with myself, while it started that way I was now doing it for me now not her. As we headed back to work I finally told her the one thing I wanted to say but wasn’t sure how to, that her mum had given the medallion to me. She looked at me and went very quiet, nodded but said nothing else about it. That afternoon while pretending to work I did a lot of thinking and a bit of searching online, basically I was looking for a furnished flat that Sofia could live in. Mary suggested I start to think of her as someone I’m trying to help and I picked one I liked, sending them an email to arrange a viewing later in the week. I also arrange to take a week off from work in a couple of weeks as I had loads of leave to use up, I needed to be Sofia more, not like it was a drug, but because she was becoming a very Important part of me. Plus I needed to scratch an itch to really get it out of my system, so that evening Sofia went shopping and along with make up and buying myself a pair of heels to learn how to walk in them, I also brought two boxes of 12 condoms and looked for a hotel somewhere I can, well, have some fun in! In the morning I changed back into him to go to work, but each evening that week I was back as Sofia who was very rapidly becoming who I was thinking of myself as now, and he was just a cover.

Having all of the official and legal documents for myself now, I did a little searching and managed to find an old bank account and started the process of reclaiming it, which of course included a visit to the bank to sign some papers and prove who I was. I was concerned about the photo in the passport, but as Mary said a 14 year old looks very different to a 20 year old, and there was enough similarities for me to not worry, so long as I made sure I was wearing make up. It worked and as for my official address, at the moment I was still using Mary’s address so everything was going to be sent there and I was able to pay a cheque to Sofia that I wrote for myself which helped to move things along. I would start to transfer more money later, but for now at least it was a good start. On the Tuesday though I decided to go to the gym, so I slipped on my leggings and sports bra top, a pair of trainers I had picked up and as I walked through the door typing in the number I found myself thinking I wonder what they would think if they looked at the account and wondered why a 38 year old man added a 20 year old woman to his account. Anyway, my focus was on trying to find out just how strong I was now, rather than a proper work out, so I tried out the machines to see what I could do. I was acutely aware of being checked out by men as I walked around, and looking at myself in the wall mirror I knew why, hoping I was never as blatant as some of the men here when I checked out women. When I finished my kind of work out, I did some stretching to warm down and found out I was very flexible. I was able to lay my boobs flat on my legs when bending over, wrapping my arms around my legs to hold myself there. I really wish I had done that sitting on the floor as when I looked it the wall mirror I could see my bum plus camel toe and also quite a few men looking at me! Standing up and blushing furiously, I was a lot more attentive of what I was doing as I stretched, while also finding out I can do the box splits, making a mental note to never do any stretching in the gym again. I practically ran out to get away from the looks the men in there were giving me who not so much mentally undressing me but mentally ravishing me!

As I got to the door, a man turned back to look at me and it was Jack from work! I was so surprised I almost called out his name but he did a double take and said mine, “Sofia! How are you?” I pretended to be confused, so he reminded me we met the other day and so and I said hello back, asking how he was as we both walked out to the carpark. Of course, I didn’t have a car here and needed to call a cab so did that quickly to stop him offering me a lift, which he of course tried to do anyway. He offered to stay with me till the cab got here, and I explained how thankful I was for that seeing the way the men in there were staring at me. He said, “Well, to be fair you do look great.” And I looked down at myself thinking more clearly about how I was dressed. He asked me about myself and I gave an abridged version of the cover story, but now with a bit more truth about how I lived for ten years in Santiago and going to school there before moving back and living in a few different places before moving back to where I was born. He told me a little about himself and it was funny, I had never really paid much attention to his life before but now I felt interested. As my cab arrived he offered to show me around the place and I found myself agreeing to it, in fact it turned out I was agreeing to a date with him the next evening, making me wonder what I should wear.

Of course, the following day at lunch I did tell Anita and she laughed asking if I wanted a double wedding with her, but I wanted to talk about how I’ve been sitting next to him all morning and felt nothing special about it, but I could feel that Sofia was excited about having a date. I made a decision that no matter what happens I would not have sex with him, that would just be too complicated, but as I got ready to go and meet him and started sorting out my handbag, I did look at the boxes of condoms thinking about it, but didn’t add one. I didn’t want Jack to come to mine, so I got a cab into town and saw him standing by the restaurant we were meeting at. I wore jeans and vest top, a cute little cardigan and ankle boots with a two inch block heel and it was a really nice evening. We chatted, by which I mean he was chatting me up, my research on some of the recent bands and also about Santiago was really useful but I didn’t feel bad about lying to him. He was literally just a practice date as far as I was concerned, I mean he is good looking and I expect I will have sex with him, but I didn’t feel the lust I first felt when I saw him, or the lust I felt for Clive and the fumbles we had. There was no electricity like there was a with my changing room man although with him of course that was a bit different, but this was just nice and enjoyable. Once again he waited with me for my cab, giving me a kiss on the cheek and home I went, although as I’m still waiting for some official ID I still couldn't have any alcohol.

In the morning I decided to change after I had showered rather than before as the water on my body felt so much nicer than on his, but I did arrive at work before Jack did. He came in with a huge smile on his face which actually creeped me (him) out, although I suspect Sofia would have liked to see it. Jack did finally tell me a bit about his date the night before and that was really strange, hearing him describe me to myself, but I could also see quite clearly what he thought about me. I really did feel like two people at this point. That evening after returning to being Sofia, I went to see Hannah and we went out for something to eat and I told her about my date with him and how we’re going out again on Saturday during the day, and I opened up to her about my plans for week off from work. She was a bit surprised, but her mum had told her that I would probably need to do something like this and it made sense to get it out of my system before the wedding. The following day I needed to stay as him after work as I needed to go and see Sofia’s flat and it was nice, a one bedroom with a balcony overlooking the water with an allocated parking space that will be useful as a safe space to leave my car. I started all the paperwork, arranging to pay the rent by direct debit and it took about two weeks before I could move Sofia in. Finally though it was Friday and I was looking forward to being able to be Sofia uninterrupted for a couple of days, but for Friday evening I didn’t want to do anything other than be me, by myself as I streamed something I didn’t really pay a lot of attention to. I think really I was more excited about finally getting a bank card in my name, and setting it up on my phone to be able to pay for Uber and things, and wondering what I will wear on my date.

In the end I went with the summer dress I picked up last week, a pair of white trainers and just plain cotton underwear. I really liked the dress as it felt so light on me, and really nice to wear. I just wore light make up with a nude lipstick as I didn’t want to send the wrong signals to Jack, but I ordered an Uber and making sure it would get me there a little late as I wanted him to wait. Jack really surprised me on the date, I expected him to want to drink in a pub, but instead he took me to a museum which the other me wouldn’t have been interested in, but I found it fun. I was probably more surprised that he had a car and went into the New Forest to a pub for lunch, followed by a walk looking at the ponies. I asked him to drop me off in town as I needed to pick up some ‘girl things’ and I think he knew enough not to ask. In the Uber going home I was wondering to myself why I agreed to another date with him tomorrow evening to go to the cinema. But tonight I was going to see Mary, where I would also meet Anita and her soon to be husband where I would officially be asked to be a bridesmaid. It was a really fun evening, and he just accepted that both Anita and Hannah babysat me in the past, how Mary had been keeping an eye on me, the cover story and everything when Anita ‘asked’ me in front of him. Before I even had a chance to try and pretend to be excited about it, Alexander said it was great idea and I realised I really was excited about me being a bridesmaid for her. I pretended to exchange numbers with Anita so we could make plans for it, but more importantly it meant Sofia was becoming more and more official, although considering I have documentation and a bank account it’s hard to see how much more official I could be.

Sunday I slept late and enjoyed laying in bed, although I must admit I also had a bit of fun exploring my body to find out what I like, with my mind constantly going back to the kiss Jack gave me as we said goodbye which was as close to pornographic as could be on a Saturday afternoon in public. Anyway, what I definitely liked was my new rabbit and wondering how many batteries I will need to get to keep it going. I had a very relaxing day after that before I started to get ready for my date. Getting in the Uber with some VS on under my white jumper dress and some heels I caught the driver looking at me, making me wonder if he could see my pink lingerie through the dress, but I had checked that very carefully before leaving. I guess I look like a girl about to go on a third date with a guy. Jack was waiting outside the cinema and kissed me hello, which I gladly accepted from him. Ok, I thought, I’m in trouble now, he’s smelling so nice and I can feel it in my thong that I want him. In the cinema when the lights went down we did kiss a bit, but I reminded him there were infra red cameras in here and his hand was up my dress, which calmed us down a bit. We held hands, we touched legs, we kissed a little more and as soon as the film was over he asked me if I wanted a drink? I looked him in the eye and said, “Do you have coffee at home?” He smiled, nodded and we walked to his car holding hands, saying nothing to each other. I don’t know what he was thinking, but I knew why I was being quiet, I was afraid of jumping him right then, and it almost happened once we got in his car, and I only stroked him a little so as not to end up dying in a crash with his cock in my hand! His place was small and ok, clean and kinda tidy, but the bed sheets were clean so he was expecting this and I guess based on my lingerie I was as well.

The next day was Monday and I got to work a few minutes late. I had stayed at Jack’s overnight and we made love again in the morning, giving me a walk of shame, or cab ride of shame in the Uber. My hair was a mess as he didn’t even have a comb, my dress was creased from being thrown on the floor and I didn’t find my lingerie. At least he had condoms so that was a plus. I showered at home as I changed back so probably smelt of nothing but sex in the uber, but finally I was ready to go to work. Jack was already there and smiling like a man who got laid. Of course, it was me who remembered everything we did, but he also told me about it in a hushed voice, telling me how hot Sofia is, how great she is in bed, how great she was this morning and that he even kept a trophy of her lingerie and hoped to get more next time he ‘fucked’ her. I was truly appalled about his behaviour, it was me, but also not me he was bragging about screwing, and I could remember every moment like when he fumbled with the condom in excitement and dropped it on the floor and was still going to put it on till I told him to get a new one. How the first time he barely lasted a minute and all the other little things that happen between couples, and while the male me felt nothing for him, I was angry for Sofia but had to pretend to be impressed by his ‘manliness’. I couldn't wait for lunchtime as I was meeting Hannah after her first day at work. She could tell I was upset, but as I was the male me she had to coax it out of me. She suggested I ask to move to a different team, but how would I explain that? Everything was so messed up and even with the warnings from Mary, I knew this part of the change was the curse of the medallion. I would just have to suck it all up. Ten minutes after being back at my desk and seeing Jack’s smug face and the dick pic he sent to Sofia at lunchtime I had enough. I didn’t need this job and neither does Sofia so I printed out a letter, put the few things from my desk I wanted to keep in my back pack, dropped the letter of with my manager and walked out. The letter said, ‘I quit, effective immediately’. I was going to change the moment I got in, but had to wait till the evening because I changed back this morning and that made me furious so I blocked Jack on both of my phones and opened some wine. Men are such pigs!

One good thing because of jack was I decided I waned to move on as Sofia, I felt more and more that’s who I was now and Mary was right about it happening. So the next day I started the process for selling my house and working out what I would keep and what I didn’t want, sorted out storage in Sofia’s name for what I would keep but not keep with me, and packed up some of my things. Not being part of a chain was a bonus and they expected things to move quickly, but I didn’t tell them I would take the first offer and moved Sofia’s clothes to the new flat with a small locked suitcase of some male clothes so I could change back in an emergency. I think I knew as soon as I became Sofia for the first time that this was going to happen, I would be her from now on, but how Jack behaved yesterday was really the final moment that confirmed it. If there were two sides to this coin I didn't want to be on his side anymore. I think Anita and Hannah knew as well as they only reached out to me on the Sofia phone, and I reassured them I was ok and would meet them after work. The estate agent came round to look at the house and we did the paperwork for that, with me insisting on contact by email, just in case I was Sofia and not able to speak, and drove to the new place with a couple of bags of my Sofia stuff, a couple of boxes of what I was keeping and then went to my soon to be old house to transfer more money to Sofia and I changed, finally feeling free.

As I walked to the coffee place to meet Anita and Hannah, I once again brought some earrings and hoping that the house will sell quickly so I can get my ears pierced without worrying about closing when I change back into to him. I talked them both through what happened with Jack and how frustrating it was sitting there listening to him brag about it, how glad I am that I quit as I didn’t really need it and that once I’ve sorted all of my old self’s stuff out, that was it, I was going to be Sofia from now on. I didn’t feel angry about him, I think I had just had enough of being the old me, I didn’t really have much of a life and what I did have I didn’t feel sad about giving it up. I had my two friends here and won’t feel like I’m trying to live two lives, now the old one’s only purpose was to make sure Sofia was going to be ok. Anita was quiet and not saying much, but I could see Hannah was excited, I think the time we had spent together I had been like a living doll for her to play with and now she was seeing that doll really come to life. Anita just said three words to me, “Are you sure?” I took a deep breath and nodded. She said, “Ok, I’m pleased for you. And to be honest you’re nicer like this, it’s like having a favourite little sister.” It took a second to realise what she had said, but Hannah beat me to it, saying, “Hey, I’m your little sister!” And I found myself covering my mouth as I laughed.

Anita drove the three of us to my new flat and I showed them around, pointing out this is just a stepping stone till I get something rented in my own name as I cut away from the old me, and explained to them what I was doing, and Anita phoned Alexander to say she would be having a takeaway at my place and would be back later. So we sat around, drinking wine and eating food as they made plans for the flat that didn’t really matter, but also telling me I needed to do a lot more shopping to get a wardrobe with more than about six complete outfits. And that was plan for the next couple of days, although I was getting the broadband connected tomorrow but decided to book that in my old name as well so it matched up with the flat. That evening was the thing that confirmed to me more than anything that I was making the right choice. With Anita in the past, while we had always been close there was always this underlying thing about our past where we liked each other at different times, but now I was seeing her in a new way. I could still see all the best parts of her that I saw before, but now I could see our friendship in a new light, that sometimes attraction had got in the way of us being real friends, now I felt closer to her and Hannah than I ever had in the past and I felt like I finally understood the real bonds of womanhood. I had hints off that with Chrissy, but this time I felt like they had my back 100% and I had theirs. Later I found out that Jack had his invite to the wedding rescinded, but by then I didn't care if I saw him or not. To be honest I would have loved to had the chance to blank him, but I didn’t care enough; he served his purpose and that was enough for me.

The next day I completely forget about the broadband so woke up to someone knocking on the door and answered it in my fluffy bathrobe to see a man standing there. He asked for the other me and I realised what he wanted so said he was out but to come in and fit everything. Sorry if you’re expecting some kind of penthouse forum thing here, I offered him a cup of tea but he declined saying this won’t take long and half an hour later he was on his way and I was back online. I rang Mary to check if she was free and popped round as I need her help with something, stopping on the way to get my photo taken in a booth and explained my problem. I needed photo ID, but had no idea what to do. She was on it and half an hour later I had all the forms signed by everyone I needed to prove who I was. I had no idea how she managed to convince two people to countersign my forms, but she touched her nose to tell me not to ask so I didn’t. After the things she told me the other day I shouldn't have been surprised really. Mary dropped me in town so I could go shopping and the first thing I needed was a coffee so headed to Starbucks. I felt like the day had already been crazy and rushing around everywhere that I needed to sit down and relax with a coffee and waited at the other end of the counter. When they called my name they also called a man for his order and we both walked forward to collect it. As I reached out for it I glanced at the man and it was my changing room man! We locked eyes and I think we were both surprised to see each other. He nodded a hello at me and picked up his cup and I picked up mine, turning to see where I could sit. We had both ordered in so were both looking for somewhere to sit, but it was busy. Two people got up from a small table and me and changing room man looked at each other. I said, “Hi, I’m Sofia, we don’t have to to talk if we both sit there.” He smiled and still said nothing, just nodding and we walked over. I took my phone out and started reading the news on my phone and he did the same.

I was sneaking looks at him and I think he must have been doing the same to me but I never caught him looking so can’t know for sure. After a coupe of minutes I looked up at him and waited till he looked at me, saying when did, “I can’t believe you’re not saying anything!” He smiled and said, “You told me to be quiet.” And once again I was covering my mouth laughing. We started chatting and I found out his name, Ed, short for Edward, what he did for a living and so on, really just a lot of small talk for long enough for us to finish our coffees and decide to get another one. There was no flirting, no chatting each other up, just chatting. It was funny really as if we hadn’t had sex together I doubt I would have talked to him, but despite him being very good looking, this was just like it is when you start a new job and get to know your new workmates. It really did feel like that. When we had almost finished the second coffee, I decided to be the grown up in the room and say, “I’m really sorry about what happened, I’m not like that normally.” And he said I didn’t need to worry but that he did need to thank me. I just gave him a look that said ‘oh really?’ And he smiled saying, “No, not for that, although yes, thank you for that. What I mean is it helped me realise something. My wife and I had been going through a rough time for a while and I confessed everything to her and that it was over. I wouldn't have, shall we say, been a willing participant with you if the marriage was still good, so I knew it was over with her for sure. She took it even better than I expected as she had been feeling the same and has been wanting to start dating someone she works with but didn’t as we’re married. So we’re getting a no blame divorce and the paperwork is already in and were officially separated.” I was speechless, I really didn’t know what to say and just said I’m sorry, but he again said I had nothing to be sorry about, that I had done nothing wrong and it turned out the wrong thing he did led to him doing the right thing. I was genuinely touched but I did say there was one thing I was worried about and that was needing to get the morning after pill and he told me I didn't need to worry about that either as he had a vasectomy a long time ago as neither he nor his wife wanted kids. Once again I was speechless.

After we had both left I felt a lot better about the experience with Ed, it turned out it was an even more positive moment for him than it was me and I felt even more content while shopping. In fact the day was really good as in the evening I had an email from the estate agent with an offer on the house that I accepted immediately. I then said ‘shit!’ As it meant tomorrow I had to change back to deal with all that stuff. Thankfully It was an easy enough thing to deal with, get some movers to move all my stuff and find a solicitor to handle everyone and giving them the power to do it and to pay the money direct to my Sofia account as at least then if I’m asked I can just say it’s an inheritance and the problem is solved. I was back to being Sofia within 24 hours and happy again, but also wondering what to do with myself during the day, so I needed a longer term plan as well, besides signing up to a couple of dating sites. I did finally make an instagram account using the many photos and selfies I had taken over the last couple of weeks, including some of me as a 10 year old and a teenager as throwback photos. Hannah and Anita were my first followers though and it was nice to be able to connect again, and also a great way to get outfit ideas for while I was shopping, and I have to admit I did copy quite a few other women from there.

One thing that was funny over the next few weeks is I kept having coffee with Ed, not arranging to have one with him, but us both being there at the same time and we slowly started to become friends, kinda like the friends you make at work. I mean, we weren’t planning on meeting up or arranging anything beyond bumping into each other for a coffee, but I was always happy to see him there. Until one day about four weeks later when I saw him sitting with a woman as I ordered my coffee. I was going to sit elsewhere but he waved me over and introduced me to his soon to be ex wife. I was gobsmacked and didn't know what to say, but she invited me to sit down. I smoothed my skirt out as I sat, pleased that today I had dressed conservatively and his almost ex wife said, “So this is your new friend you were telling me about?” Ed said yes and looked at me and then she thanked me. I asked what for, confused about this and she said, “You know, what happened in the changing room.” I blushed to my root, wanted to leave but she reassured me it was ok, that I did them a favour and now I’ve become a friend to Ed, ‘although only a coffee friend it seems’. Ed missed the subtext, but as women we both knew she was saying to me I didn’t need to worry, and I thanked her with my eyes. We all chatted together for a bit, telling her my cover story and so on, what my plans were and what they going to do. I almost blurted out that I was also selling a house, but that’s not part of my cover, just a life I’m slowly shedding. I did notice she was checking me out, but I was doing the same to her as well and she kept touching her ears, obviously noticing my ears weren’t pierced yet, and I was very aware I wasn’t wearing as much jewellery as she was so I added that my mental shopping list for the day.

But there was one thing that came out of meeting the ex wife that was important, Ed and me finally planned to do something that didn’t involve coffee; I was going to help him when he went shopping for his new place. And I was excited about it, I really was excited about spending time with him. Oh my god, I like him! I can’t date him, he’s like 18 years older than me!

Anyway, before I went shopping with Ed, I had my first bridesmaid dress fitting and now that I have actual opinions on women’s fashion I was worried it was going to be the meringue dress Anita kept hinting at. If you’re wondering what it’s like trying on wedding and bridesmaids dresses, watch Muriel’s Wedding as it really is just like that. We had champagne (although I suspect it was just white wine put through a Sodastream), tried on lots of dresses and it was so much fun! I kept squealing in excitement along with Anita and Hannah with Mary often cooing at us, but it was just lovely being a woman with other women. If you’re wondering what the dress looked like, well it was silk, floor length and very classy. Hannah did wind me up when Anita couldn't hear her that everyone will be too busy looking at my bum in the dress than at her, but I pointed out that will be the men only that look and that ‘It’s ok, I have a nice bum’, but I suppose that depends on what I wear under it, but I get to choose that for myself.

The day after that, Ed and me were trying the ‘let’s be friends that do more than drink coffee’ thing, so I helped him with some furniture shopping for his new place. He had some of his old stuff, but in the split they shared things out and he needed to get new things and decided that as I’m a woman I must therefore have opinions on things. I was still developing that side of me, but I was surprised that I no longer felt that things ‘will be good enough’, but now needed to be ‘right’. He was wearing jeans and a hoody, but I was trying out one of the outfits I had seen someone wearing on insta and that was becoming my fashion guide. So he looked very casual and I was a bit more dressy in my ankle boots, over the knee socks, black A-line short skirt and a shirt tied around my waist that showed just a little of my flat stomach. I’d been playing about a bit with my hair and while I still desperately needed to go to the hairdressers, I kept putting it off knowing that while my house sale was being sorted I might need to change back at any moment to sign papers. Anyway, I’d been using the curling tongs to give my hair a bit of a wavy curl and I quite liked it. Anyway, like I said I was a bit over dressed and attracting more attention from men than I wanted right now, and once again Ed needed to get an over enthusiastic salesman away while we looked at stuff, as although they only wanted to talk to him they never stopped looking at me. Sometimes I liked it but today wasn’t one of them.

I asked him about it, not that they were all constantly perving on me, more that he didn’t look at me like that, explaining that I really appreciated it from him as he makes me feel safe. He told me that apart from people probably thinking he was my father as I’m younger than him, he thinks people would judge him he if did, saying, “I mean, it’s not like I can’t see you’re very attractive, I just decided when we had that first coffee together to look past it. To be fair, it was probably easier for me as it’s not like I have to try and imagine what you look like naked!” I asked about the age thing as although I knew I was now younger and I felt it as well in my physical presence, I also had my old memories so when we chat I tend to forget about the age gap as we like a lot of the same things, explaining it away as picking them up from parents. Anyway, I digress here as him saying he didn’t see me that way got my attention more than anything else, so I asked him, “You never think of me that way because of my age or you never think of me that way? Or do you try not to think of me that way or try not to look at me that way?” He knew enough not to be pulled into that conversation but I wouldn't let it go. I walked over to chair and as I sat down told him to stand right in front of me. As I crossed my legs I said to him, “Stay right there and prove to me you can think of me that way.” He looked a bit confused so I flicked my eyes down to his groin and then raised my eyebrows at him. He said, “Oh come on, I’m not doing that here!” So I said he didn’t need him to do anything other than prove it to me, and I looked back at his groin, saying, “Come one, we don’t have all day and you did say you didn’t need to imagine me naked? Prove it to me you can look at me that way.”

I waited and watched him and he looked at me and looked me over as I got to watch it grow in his jeans and the bulge extend down the leg. Interesting, he normally dresses to the left but that’s definitely to the right and I bet that feels uncomfortable for him. Wait, how did I know he dressed to the right, have I been checking it out? Anyway, I waited till he was fully hard, stood up and grabbed his hand and started talking about the merits of a table and chairs while doing my best to tease him a little to keep him as uncomfortable as possible as well. Finally I whispered in his ear that’s what it feels like with men looking at me all the time, but if he’s a good boy I will let it go down. He was a good boy but I was enjoying flirting with him to keep it up, like I said he made me feel safe and this was fun. Besides, I had a week of fun planned for next week, and I was really looking forward to it now, and I get to really put a new app to use.