Camouflage 2

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the author withdrew this because it proved dangerous

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thank you

I appreciate your encouragement and compliments. I am trying to take this story through carefully since Ethan is so fragile, I don't want to treat him disrespectfully nor do I want to shine the wrong light on his desires either.

I'm glad you plan to come back to this,

and I hope it doesn't take too long to do so. But take however long you need, I would rather wait for it to be just as wonderful as the first two chapters have been than to have you rush it and not be able to do your best.

thank you

I appreciate your vote of confidence. I've been knocked down a bit over the luke-warm reception Lowell's Vacation has received on Kindle and it makes it hard to dedicate myself to writing. I live through a lot of personal demons and when something doesn't go well, I crawl under a rock and lick my wounds.

I know I'm such a baby!

The doc is full of it!

"Honestly, people don’t transition because they don’t like who they are.”

That's a line of BS if I ever did hear one! That's why many of us transition! We don't like who we are, we are girls trapped in boy's bodies. We transition if we can.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

caution

I think the doc was trying to say that you have to like your 'self'. I think she was referring to the inside and not the shell. But, I will ask her the next time I see her.

Help me out here. What should the doc have said to a seventeen year old who hates his shell because of the trauma at school? As the mouthpiece of these characters, I want to get it right.

possible thoughts?

Snarfles's picture

People transition because they are running TO who they ARE and have been; not running FROM, what or whom they were before.

People transition to reveal themselves, not to hide from others.

People transition From what OTHERS say they are, into who they know themselves to be.

Maybe some of these would work, or something like them?

Excellent

I think you summed it up perfectly. Thank you. I think there’s still a story here. You are so much help, thank you.

Camouflage

I wonder if the doc is afraid this cure, becoming Emma, is simply inappropriate for Ethan's problems. Living in a state of disguise doesn't help with his real trauma it's just a bandaid . So far he hasn't shown serious symptoms of being transgender, or regardless of how he embraces it, even a crossdresser. At least that's how it looks to me. I wonder how this will settle out. I look forward to whatever comes next.

Time is the longest distance to your destination.

We can agree

We can agree about the bandaid. The doc said something similar.

We can also agree on Ethan/Emma not being transgender, at least at the beginning.

My question would be, when does crossdressing begin? My references are anecdotal and limited, but isn’t the need to dress for a trans-person different than someone who learns the pleasure and simply enjoys crossdressing?

I know I’m on thin ice here and over my head.

Reaction to trauma

Podracer's picture

No psychologist here. The premise that this gamer girl is finding an escape from a bad experience and a year of exile misery and a damaged self image seems plausible enough to me, a mere reader. I hope that you remain inspired and thoughtful in how Ethan's story progresses.

"Reach for the sun."

Thank you

I’m enjoying this story, too. We will see what will happens

Confrontation a must

Jamie Lee's picture

Dr. Proud is right to be worried that Ethan is trying to escape the trauma he experienced instead of dealing with and getting past it. He'll always remember it happened and how it made him feel, but it wouldn't have control of his life. But that isn't what's happening.

Ethan is running, away from himself and the experience at school. He has this idea if he's Emma then others won't see Ethan. But he's wrong. Every time he looks into a mirror he'll see Ethan dressed as Emma, even though he'll consider that person Emma.

Dr. Poudre knows that be deflecting dealing with his trauma, it will only be a matter of time before something triggers the memories of what he experienced and ends up worse off than he is now. Something that breaks past the wall he's building in the guise of Emma.

There will come a point all the newness of being Emma and working for Mashit will wear off, and he has to deal with real life. Real life that will dig into her life all the way back to her birth. When this happens, and it will as gaming magazines take more interest in her, they will discover the truth and about what happened at school. When they discover the school incident she will once again be confronted with it and the unresolved issues surrounding it.

If mom thinks Ethan was in bad shape before, when he's confronted with the event again he'll likely go off the deep end and have to be committed.

Others have feelings too.

Dear Jamie Lee

Thanks for writing.

I think the scenario you are describing is pretty condemning and bleak. I would hope it would never comes to that. Personally, I think honestly is a pretty good policy. So far, Ethan’s been honest with himself and others.

Although in this story when they become President and save all of humanity, their life will serve as a beacon of hope for all peoples. (Just Kidding)

There are so many twists and turns left and we’re only just beginning. It took JK Rowling seven books to tell about one child’s path to learning to successfully overcome his early life’s tragedies