The Blind Date

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A graduate student's roommate sets him up on a blind date. It becomes clear that words were chosen with care.

The Blind Date
Daphne Xu

The story of how I lost my virginity is interesting and downright surprising.

The Set-Up

I was set up for a blind date, by my roommate. It was the last week of January, and the second week of my second semester of graduate school, and I was already at work on a major Quantum Theory homework assignment: "Fermi's Golden Rule". I really wanted to understand the material, and as part of my work, I attempted to derive it from the Schrödinger equation. At one point, I got stumped, so I just went on with the assignment.

A couple hours later, normally around supper time, it was half an hour before Concert Band rehearsal. I put away my work, cleaned my office desk just a bit, retrieved my trombone and music folder, and departed for rehearsal across campus.

The Incredibly Long Corridor was full of students -- freshmen in particular -- who had just got out of class and were heading home, off to supper, or elsewhere. They filled the corridor and walkways, the young ladies among them attractive to a person, and hopelessly forbidden, out of reach. A pretty young Asian girl stood out in short athletic shorts, but with a long-sleeved hoodie unzipped over a flannel shirt, unique in the cold January weather.

Most of the band's young cute freshmen and sophomores were in the flute, oboe, and clarinet sections, but one blue-eyed blonde, hair below her bosom, was in the trombone section with me. She was better than me at the trombone, quite a bit better, in fact. We chatted a little before rehearsal, and again during break. Her name was Ethyl. I had a crush on her, but I couldn't figure how to properly, nicely, hit on her.

I got back home to the apartment I shared with another graduate student around eight that evening, quite hungry. Wesley was home already, and was just about done cooking dinner. It smelled delicious.

We sat down for dinner together, and chatted about the day's events. While I was a physics graduate student, he was in cognitive science. At one point, he mentioned, "I could set you up for a date with a relative. Interested?"

"Sure, I'd like that." I tried to sound casual, even though my heart jumped to my throat, and something grew farther down, thankfully below the table.

"How does Thursday evening sound?"

"That's fine with me," I replied. "I don't have a car, though. We would have to either walk locally, or take the bus and subway."

"No problem. I'll lend you my car. Oh, one thing. She's still a month or so shy of her eighteenth birthday, so be careful and considerate with her."

That dampened my excitement, replacing it with fear. I imagined perhaps offending her by being overly sexually aggressive. Or inadvertently offending her some other way without realizing until it was too late.

The Date

I was both terrified and excited with anticipation, and Thursday evening came right on time. I was home early, and made sure I showered and dressed up in my suit, tie, and black shoes and socks before my unknown date arrived.

Sure enough, the bell sounded from downstairs at 6:30. Wesley buzzed her through, and shortly after, admitted her into our apartment.

"Grandma! It's so wonderful to see you!" He helped her off with her coat. "Chance, please meet Grandma Taylor."

"I am pleased to meet you, Mrs. Taylor." I shook her hand. Grandma Taylor had a certain attractive je ne sais quoi about her. I wouldn't call her hot, and definitely not cute, but something about her facial expression, poise, moderate thinness made her quite attractive. She sort-of reminded me of my own paternal grandmother, who was still alive and active.

A month before her eighteenth birthday? February 29? The numbers worked out: seventy-two. We were around twenty-two. Grandma? Yes, they definitely worked out. I was reminded of the "most ingenious paradox" from The Pirates of Penzance (or The Slave of Duty).

The three of us chatted for ten or so minutes. At one point, I suggested, "Shall we be off?" I helped Grandma into her long coat and lent her my elbow.

"Chance, my car keys." Wesley handed them to me as we departed. I'd completely forgotten!

I'd originally planned on a nice Chinese place, but I wasn't so sure now, with Grandma Taylor as my date. Several other possibilities came to mind. But I did suggest the Chinese place first: "How does Mary's sound, Mrs. Taylor? A Chinese restaurant I sometimes visit for lunch."

She smiled. "It sounds splendid, I'm sure."

So we went there anyway. It would have been a nice walk with a girl actually almost eighteen, but I thought not so much with Grandma Taylor. Especially not this cold. I told myself to be on my best behavior, and thought back over as much as I could recall about the chivalrous treatment of ladies.

I couldn't help fumbling with my keys, as I opened the passenger car door for her. Then I carefully went around to the driver's side and slid in. Thank goodness, the car had automatic transmission. In a short time, we were off.

Fortunately, finding parking was fairly easy at the restaurant. After all, it was only Thursday. In the restaurant, the waiter greeted me by name, and showed us to a nice table. I was going to pull out Grandma's seat for her, but the waiter beat me to it. I sat facing her across the table.

We ordered and got our meals. I didn't know how to begin conversation with Grandma, but fortunately, she knew. We discussed various things. For example, Grandpa was still married to her, which gave me a moment's guilt about taking her on a date.

"Don't worry about it," she said, recognizing my concern. "Grandpa's back in the hotel dozing off no doubt, with ESPN on."

"Sounds rather like my grandfather," I replied.

"That's quite common among the elder men," she said.

"As I understand it, Grandpa goes downtown during the day, and spends the day at ... a club playing cards. Grandma, on the other hand, spends a good part of the day walking around the land, clipping and taking care of the grounds." A memory came to mind. "I was, I guess, eight or nine, and obsessed-terrified of poisonous snakes. I was asking about poisonous snakes, and Grandma said they had copperheads on the land."

"I like to do that myself," Grandma Taylor replied. "We have a full-time gardener who works the land, but I do sometimes go out and walk the lands, and clip a little, for my exercise and my amusement. And yes, we do have snakes on the land. Most are non-poisonous, but we have a fair amount of poisonous snakes. I always require anyone walking out there to wear boots -- ventilated boots when it's hot. And it gets very hot down in Texas."

Texas, eh? I was uncomfortable for a moment. Hopefully, I kept it hidden.

We were both silent for a while, then I brought up the subject hovering in the back of my mind, about seeing a movie and what movie we should see. I thought that Grandma wouldn't be interested in children's films, but also probably wouldn't care for a typical violent R-rated movie. What about chick flicks? I had my doubts there as well.

When I posed the question, she answered, "I just don't know. We so rarely see movies these days. They're just not our type any more."

"There's an independent theater that shows mostly old movies, classic movies," I said, naming the theater. The movie they were showing was "The Last Picture Show," from the early seventies.

I had serious doubts about taking Grandma to an R-rated picture, but she exclaimed, "Oh gracious me, I'd completely forgotten that movie. That was fantastic! I saw it when it was first released, when I was about your age, young man. It reflected small-town Texas quite well, as I recall."

We boxed the remainder of Grandma's meal, as she couldn't eat it all -- "Grandpa will enjoy these leftovers." -- and went to the movie.

Once we arrived, we had to wait a good forty minutes before they would let us into the auditorium, but we were finally allowed in. The auditorium was mostly empty. "Where do you prefer to sit?" I asked Grandma.

"If I had my druthers, I'd rather sit in the center, but it really doesn't matter to me, except not too close to the front." She laughed a bit, and we worked our way to the center of the auditorium.

We waited some more, but at some point the initial ads and notices ("No smoking, and no talking! Enjoy the show!") were followed by the previews -- I always liked watching those, even if I wasn't interested in the movies previewed.

I was only half-focused on the movie. I kept looking over at Grandma, wondering if I dared rest my arm around her shoulders. I eventually took a risk, and interlaced my left fingers into her hand. She took my hand and held it on her lap in both her hands, and we sat that way through the rest of the movie.

One scene really embarrassed me: a naked high-school girl facing us on a high diving board. With Grandma sitting next to me, I did my best to keep my mind blank.

After the movie, Grandma went to powder her nose, and I used the men's room as well. Then I drove her back to her hotel, and walked into the lobby with her.

"I had a most wonderful evening, young man," she told me. I agreed; it was amazing, and asked for her phone number.

"Of course." She took a hotel card, and wrote her room number. She paused, then wrote another number. "This is my mobile phone number. Feel free to call."

I took her card with my left hand, and reached out to shake her hand with my right hand. Instead of shaking it, she took my hand in both her hands and squeezed.

"Good night," Grandma Taylor, I said.

"Good night, Chance. Feel free to call." As she turned toward the elevator doors, I noticed a happy, glowing expression.

I returned home, feeling just a bit giddy myself. It probably showed. Fortunately, Wesley was out when I arrived.

The next day was Friday. I had an electromagnetism class this morning, and an assignment from that class. In graduate school, being let-out of the last class of the week didn't signify the beginning of the weekend -- at least as a time of fun and relaxation. I was in the middle of that assignment, when I received a call.

An office mate took the call, and handed the phone over to me. "Good morning, young man," came a surprising, familiar voice.

"Grandma Taylor! Hello, nice to hear from you."

"I had a wonderful evening last night with you," she said.

"My pleasure," I replied. "Perhaps we might do something like this again?"

We chatted for several minutes. She'd called Wesley initially, and he'd given her my office number. She and Grandpa would be in town until Monday, around noon when they flew back home. So we arranged for a second movie date Sunday night, this time at the University. They showed movies Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Sunday was classical movie night, and this night they were showing "2001: A Space Odyssey". I would pick her up at the hotel at 5:00 Sunday evening, and we would go for a quick Sunday evening snack before the movie.

After saying good-bye and hanging up, I realized how presumptive I'd been. Now, I needed to borrow Wesley's car again for the date. Well, no good came from delaying. I promptly called him, and told him about the second date with his grandmother before asking to borrow the car again. He readily agreed.

I didn't tell him, but I vowed to fill his tank. I owed him that much, at least.

The Second Date

This Sunday evening, I borrowed Wesley's car again and picked up Grandma Taylor at her hotel. She was waiting outside the hotel lobby. I stopped the car in front of her, and dashed out to open the car door for her, but in vain. She had already opened the door and gotten into the passenger seat. "Oh, you're such a chivalrous young man."

We had brief Sunday evening snack, and returned to the University to catch the earlier showing of the Sunday night movie, "2001: A Space Odyssey". The line was quite long. Eventually we got in, though. The auditorium was where a couple of our classes were held -- as well as freshman physics, and it was crowded.

We did find a couple seats, a bit off to the side, but the view was still decent. We settled in and hopefully, I put my arm around her back, and rested my hand on her shoulder at the movie. She covered my hand with hers, and leaned her head against me.

They first showed a hilarious short called "$20.01: a Chinese Food Odyssey". A man was fighting his Chinese takeout and his chopsticks, until a fork floated in accompanied by the triumphant 2001 theme.

I was relieved not to see naked girls this time -- after all, the movie was G-rated. But the movie got the future horribly wrong. Pan-Am flights up to a space station? Manned travel to Jupiter? That computer was absolutely psychotic, with all that talk about saving the mission that he'd already destroyed by killing the crew. The finale was mind-screw, pure and simple -- not that I dared use that term with Grandma Taylor.

Once the movie ended, we returned to my (Wesley's) car, and I drove her back to the hotel.

This time, I accompanied Grandma up to her hotel room. We paused just outside her door, and she turned to me. I tentatively put my hands on her waist, and lowered my head to kiss her forehead.

"And what do you think you're doing, young man?" Grandpa was standing in the open door to their room.

I jerked back in surprise. "Good night Grandma. I had a wonderful evening." I turned to walk off and head home, but Grandpa grabbed my shoulders with a surprisingly strong grip, and turned me around to face him. "Oh no no no you don't. You're coming right in with us!"

Grandpa firmly led my shoulders into the hotel room. Stomach making Sinuses' acquaintance, I followed my shoulders, unsure what I would encounter but knowing it would be mortifying.

The hotel room turned out to be, well, more than one room. I saw the bedroom through a door off to the right. This room had a large TV set on the wall, along with a sofa, two armchairs, a love seat, a coffee table, and other furniture. A small kitchen was just off to the side. Empty bottles were scattered about.

A moment's squinting, and those empty bottles mostly likely weren't beer or alcohol. It looked chocolate. "Yoo-hoo."

"Ever tried it?" asked Grandpa.

"No...." I hesitated, still embarrassed and scared of what I was in for. "I haven't."

"Grandma?"

"Certainly." Grandma hustled to the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Grandpa said, "Don't worry. It's non-alcoholic."

Grandma returned with two bottles, handing one to me and the other to Grandpa. I looked the bottle over, even as Grandpa opened his and took a swig. Watery chocolate, that's what it seemed like. I opened it and took my first swig. Hmmm. "Thank you, Grandpa. Not bad!"

"Have a seat," said Grandpa. "And let's get down to business. I understand, you are young Wesley's roommate."

"Yes. I am Chance O'Winnen." I might have missed Grandpa's snicker, but there's no way I could have missed Grandma's squeak. At least they'd limited their reactions. "And yes, that reaction is utterly familiar."

Grandpa continued. "Thursday evening, Grandma went out to visit our grandchildren. She returned that night with glazed eyes and a dreamy smile all too familiar, the expression of a teenage daughter and granddaughter entranced after her first date. The very expression she sported on her on her first dates with me."

I blushed in hard embarrassment.

Grandpa continued. "I have to admit, I enjoyed the rest of that night very much."

Now Grandma sported her own lovely flush.

"I must say," Grandpa continued. "Making Grandma feel like a teenage girl is a great compliment a young man can give an elderly young lady." He spoke more, and then, "If you and Grandma commence an affair, I shall be only too happy for the two of you."

What? I glanced at Grandma; she wasn't looking at me.

We wound up chatting until well into the wee hours.

Despite the lateness at which I retired, I had little trouble getting up for Monday's classes and homework. And at band, I wound up telling the trombonist Ethyl about the date my roommate set up for me, the woman a month short of her eighteenth birthday.

Ethyl laughed like a banshee -- especially after I mentioned our second date the night before. She mentioned seeing me with Grandma at the movie.

Onward and Upward

Grandma and Grandpa flew back home, and graduate work continued. Grandma or Grandpa called Wesley a few times withing the following two weeks, and they always talked with me as well.

But then, just as I arrived home from a Monday band rehearsal, I spotted a closed invitation envelope, right next Wesley's open one.

I opened it.

The Blind Date -- Grandma Taylor's Birthday Invitation

This invitation was identical to Wesley's except for the name of the invité.

But "Ethyl"? Really? Two of them?

Sure enough, Wesley appeared and confirmed that it was Grandma Taylor's birthday celebration. "I hope you can make it. Grandma really hopes you can make it." He grinned.

Both of us replied affirmatively. Grandpa Taylor sent us electronic air tickets. And on Friday, February 28, we were all packed and off to the airport via the subway, my birthday present for Grandma Taylor in my suitcase.

As we waited to change trains, a familiar voice called out. "Hey Wesley! Chance!" Ethyl the trombonist approached, lugging both her suitcase and her trombone.

"Ethyl!" I exclaimed. "Hey!" greeted Wesley. We both ran up to her as she set her load down. She and Wesley slapped palms, and I shook her hand.

"You know each other?" asked Wesley.

"Yes, in band," I answered. "We play the trombone."

"I guess I just never made the connection. I knew both of you played trombone, but..." He trailed off.

"You never came to any of our concerts!" exclaimed Ethyl.

"Sorry about that." Wesley looked contrite.

"And Ethyl. That explains..." I trailed off.

"Yeah," she said. "Mommy named me after Grandma Taylor. And yes, we're cousins." She gestured to Wesley. "`Ethyl' makes me feel so granny myself. When I think about it."

I laughed. "And not a young, beautiful, brilliant trombonist."

"Oh, flatterer!" She mock-swapped me with a non-existent folding fan, probably just like the Ethyls of yesteryear.

I got worried suddenly. "Was I supposed to bring my trombone?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd practice a little. Maybe play for Grandma's birthday. If you wanna play, Grandpa has spares."

The train approached. We boarded, and took the train to at the Airport station. A shuttle bus took us to our terminal. We flew out to another big airport, where we would transfer to a small turboprop. As we waited to board, a crowd appeared from another flight, also going to the party.

Wesley introduced them as their twin aunt and uncle, and the other two men as -- "Well, the relationship is complicated."

"Aunt Sybil's reverse harem," interjected Ethyl.

Wesley and I both snorted.

Three children, Wesley and Ethyl's cousins, accompanied them. They ranged from a cute girl of fifteen or sixteen, another cute girl a couple years younger, and a boy perhaps ten or so. The two girls had different fathers, I could tell.

"And Chance," he told them, "is my roommate at grad school."

"He plays trombone in the band with me," added Ethyl.

We boarded the turboprop, and flew to a local airport on the outskirts of a small town. I was getting nervous, but Ethyl patted my thigh and said, "You'll do well." She flashed me a goosebumps-raising smile. My thigh continued to feel her touch for the longest time.

Grandpa and Grandma Taylor were both waiting just outside security. The relatives all hugged and kissed them or shook hands, while I awaited in the background. Ethyl grabbed my hand and pulled me in, and Grandma caught me up in an embrace. I kissed her cheek this time, and she turned to kiss my mouth.

It was just an instant, but Grandma was blushing with a goofy grin, Ethyl was laughing and giggling hard as she slapped my shoulder, and the others either laughed, applauded, or simply stood in shock. Meanwhile, I shook Grandpa's hand.

After we got our luggage, Grandpa Taylor led us out to a long white car, and a driver who waited just outside the door. The car had three compartments behind the driver, and I was led into the front compartment. Grandma was with me, and at my gesture, she entered. Ethyl and I walked around the long car to the other side. I gestured to her to enter, but she insisted I get in first. Then she climbed in next to me.

I sat between Ethyl and Grandma, and Wesley and the oldest cousin, introduced as Aurora Taylor, sat across from us, facing the rear of the car. Grandpa joined some of the relatives in the compartment behind.

As we left the airport, Grandma took my right hand into her lap, and played with it with both hands. Meanwhile, Ethyl and I chatted, and off and on Ethyl touched my shoulder or my thigh. Combined, I shivered all over with excitement, and I couldn't prevent a bulge from showing down there.

So we arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's house, without my making a mortifying mess down my front. Grandma kept hold of my hand as we emerged from the vehicle. I realized I wasn't out of the woods yet when Ethyl came around and took my other hand.

Grandma and Grandpa's house turned out to be a mansion. Relatives emerged to meet us. Most of the children and a couple of the adults ran up to meet them. The three of us leisurely walked up to the entrance.

Ethyl let go and ran up to a woman and two younger boys, one of whom was Asian American. She hugged all three of them, before coming back to pull me up and introduce them: her mom, her little brother, and his best friend.

Wesley and I were given a guest room with two twin beds. I changed into something clean and cool for dinner and the rest of the evening -- something Wesley approved as suitable for the occasion.

Dinner was an informal occasion, with most families sitting together. I sat with Wesley and his family. He was the youngest of three brothers. One older brother said, "Your gentleman friend is very nice. I think he'd be very good for you."

"No, it's nothing like that," Wesley replied with a blush. "We're just roommates. Chance's straight. His situation is really quite stranger than that."

I just sat there. I had no idea that it would occur to anyone that our living situation was anything other than a straight roommate situation. This felt just weird. And was Wesley not straight? The possibility had never occurred to me.

After dinner, Grandma suggested that we watch a relaxing video, while the adults got playfully raucous outside and in other parts of the mansion. We watched "Step-Monster". Ethyl joined us, as did her brother and a couple other young ones.

At one point, as we relaxed with the nice pleasant video, I noticed Grandma dozed off, her head on my shoulder, my hand held in her lap. Ethyl on my other side was also relaxing, her head on her brother's shoulder -- but holding my hand, fingers interlaced. Her brother's friend was on his other side, and met my eye at this moment. A few others sat scattered around the room, on armchairs or on the floor. It felt nice and cozy.

I was quite sleepy, and retired to bed when the video ended.

Grandma Taylor's Eighteenth Birthday Celebration -- Saturday, February 29, 2020

The first thing that came to mind when I awoke was, "So today is Grandma Taylor's eighteenth birthday celebration." For some reason, I found that utterly hilarious, and couldn't stop laughing.

Not until Wesley woke up, at least. I apologized for waking him, but he was okay with it. He was well aware of the humor of it all.

Morning and afternoon were times of informal fun. We had breakfast and lunch together, and joined some young ones in volleyball, kickball, and other outdoor games. As Grandma Taylor had said, everyone wore boots. I borrowed a pair myself. I recognized a few of the kids, and numerous others vaguely, whom I couldn't place. I'd met just too many of them to remember them all.

A couple hours before the birthday dinner, I finally returned to our room, showered carefully, and changed into my formal suit for the evening. I made sure I had my birthday present for Grandma Taylor ready and with me.

Dinner was a virtual banquet, with lots of attendees. I met Ethyl with her family, and shook hands with all of them, including her brother's best friend. I felt almost compelled to lean forward and kiss the back of Ethyl's hand, to her silver-belled giggle. She was a beauty, decked out in her long-sleeved yellow-orange flower dress extending down below her knees. Her blonde hair was done up and curled to perfection.

Again, I was sat with Wesley and his family. Nothing was overt, but as we chatted, I sensed subtle shipping of me and Wesley.

"Chance would be a welcome addition to the family, don't you think?" said Mrs. Jameson. Okay, maybe not so subtle shipping.

Partly through the dinner, they began giving Grandma her presents. Grandma, Grandpa, and a son and daughter-in-law went from table to table. The daughter-in-law announced every gift-giver's name as she gave her gift. Everyone either kissed or almost-kissed Grandma's cheek.

I was really nervous about the whole process, about to go in front of a huge audience, afraid I might commit some kind of blunder in the process. But yes, I did it. I felt quite self-conscious in public like this -- especially being introduced to the guests as "Chance O'Winnen" to the hilarity of the entire room. I hugged her as I handed her her present, and kissed her cheek. She seemed to hang onto me tighter and longer than anyone else.

At that moment, Wesley stood up and claimed the microphone. "Chance is my roommate at graduate school. You may wonder how Chance came to know Grandma. About a month ago, I had the idea of setting him up on a blind date with my cousin Ethyl, a freshman there." Wesley gestured toward Ethyl several tables away. She rose and graced the room with her smile. "I warned Chance to be careful and considerate, because she was about a month shy of her eighteenth birthday."

Wait what?! I was supposed to date Ethyl that night? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, NOOOO!

After the room quieted down, Wesley continued. "Ethyl's birthday was last week. Anyway, Grandma threw a wrench into the machinery by showing up to visit about half an hour early. And Chance got this strangest idea about Grandma, leap year, and persons born on February 29. He thought I was setting him up with Grandma!"

The laughter flooded the room. I glanced at Ethyl and Grandma; they were laughing along with the rest. Grandpa, too.

Eventually, Wesley was able to continue. "The strangest thing is that Grandma's birthday really is February 29, and it really is her eighteenth birthday. Chance went along with it, I went along with it, Grandma went along with it, and apparently, it was a really nice date!"

More laughter and applause, taking some time to settle down.

"So nice, in fact, that Chance took her on a second date a few days later!"

More applause.

"I saw Grandma and Grandpa off when they flew home, and Grandma was positively glowing."

After pausing, he continued, "I had to call Ethyl before she showed up for her date, and tell her that the date was off. And why. She came over anyways, for dinner with me, and together, we had the biggest laugh ever."

My hands covered my face by now. I couldn't face anyone, and here I was at the center of attention of a roomful of partiers. I felt arms around my shoulder.

It was Grandpa, with the microphone in his other hand. He told the room as well as me, "Young Chance, you made Grandma the happiest she's been in a long time. You paid her the compliment of treating her like a young lady, and giving her two wonderful evenings."

Grandpa turned to the rest of the room. "Young Chance has just given Grandma Taylor a birthday present. But his real birthday present will be given late tonight, in a much more private and intimate setting."

Oh goodness, where did that come from? Did it really mean what it sounded like? The room erupted again in applause. Blushing furiously, I glanced over at a glowing Grandma -- was she glowing or blushing?

Eventually, the gift-giving progressed, and I was no more the center of attention. I sat silent with my own thoughts -- like, everyone knew I was going to have sex with Grandma that night. Everyone knew. Everyone knew. Everyone fucking knew. Or at least had that idea planted in their minds.

I continued eating, somber, embarrassed, remaining silent amid the conversation going on around me. I did manage to hold my tears back. Once desert came, I ate more than I normally would, to drown my sorrows. Then when the end of dinner was signaled, I got up and prepared to spend the rest of the evening and night in my room, the room I shared with Wesley.

"The dance begins in an hour," announced Grandpa. "That will give you time to freshen up as needed. We hope to see you all there."

Grandma waylaid me on my way out. She leaned and whispered confidentially, "Young Ethyl wants you there. You wouldn't wish to disappoint her, would you?" I glanced over at Ethyl, talking with relatives about twenty feet away. Almost as if she sensed me, she met my eye and smiled. I returned the smile, feeling better.

I turned back to Grandma. "Of course. But I do need to freshen up now." And maybe shower and change to another suit. Except this was my only suit. I only had one for special occasions such as this. This would have to do. Just dab off something that fell on it, and let it air out.

"I'll see you later, Grandma."

I returned to the room, and took off my suit and hung it up, hiding the rest of my clothes in my wash. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I went to shower.

After the shower, as I opened the bathroom door wrapped in my towel, I came face-to-face with one of the younger cousins, also wrapped in a towel around her bosom and midsection. She covered her mouth and emitted a squeak -- "Eek!" Her shaking belly and bosom showed her suppressed laughter and amusement.

"Hi ... Aurora?" I finally said.

"Yep." She flushed prettily. "You are coming to the dance, aren't you?"

"I, um, guess." I couldn't help stammering, blushing myself. She couldn't possibly miss the bulge in my towel.

"We all really hope to see you there," she said.

We slipped by each other, as she entered the bathroom. I returned to our room just as Wesley was disrobing. Facing away from him, I slid on my clean underwear and undershirt, put on a clean shirt, and put my suit and tie back on.

"I think Aurora's inside the bathroom," I told Wesley, as I left for the dance party.

I didn't know which way to the dance. Fortunately, I met another man going to the dance. He led me to the right place.

There was a band at one end of the large dance room, playing a bouncy but surprisingly toned-down dance piece. The music wasn't deafening like most high-school and college dance music. The opposite end had a table of snacks and drinks -- orange juice, apple juice, soda pop, Yoo-hoo, alcohol, water, and many other drinks.

"Chance!" Just as a I picked out a Yoo-hoo, Grandma accosted me. "Wonderful, you made it! Ready to dance?" Absolutely. We found a place, and I began dancing as I knew how, which meant jumping up and down, moving my legs. Okay, I knew nothing about dancing.

The music ended, and something new music began -- something slow and romantic. Grandma reached her hands on my shoulders and (not knowing anything else to do) I put my hands on the sides of her waist.

As I slow-danced with Grandma, I looked around. Some couples were separated like us -- the younger ones. Others were cuddled up, and even kissing. Off to the side, I spotted -- what was her name? Aunt Sybil and her three men dancing in a four-way cuddle or huddle.

A shriek startled me, followed by a slap. Grandma pulled me down and whispered in my ear, "Someone's hands wandered beyond and below the call of duty."

I didn't know what to say. "I'll be careful," I tried. I only realized just then that Grandma had pressed up against me, and I was circling one hand about the small of her back.

She whispered again, "Your dance partner wants you to be assertive and aggressive to a degree. You don't want to be too reticent, either."

We continued dancing until the slow music ended, and another lively piece began. Ethyl approached. "A friend wishes to cut in, so I'll see you later." Grandma kissed my cheek and left, winking.

She slipped away, and Ethyl joined me dancing. She had changed into a blue knee-length dress, no less beautiful than before, but different. She was a good dancer. A little later, Ethyl's brother and his friend, dancing together, approached and joined us. We became four dancing all together.

I don't know how it happened, but somehow or other, we switched. Ethyl and her brother danced together, while I wound up dancing with her brother's friend. There was something surprisingly cute about him. What was his name again? Oh yes, Da-Ming. (I couldn't for the life of me remember the brother's name.) He was a couple inches taller than Ethyl, and a couple inches shorter than Ethyl's brother.

We four danced the rest of the song away. Another slow dance began. Before I could act, Ethyl and her brother were together and Da-Ming was facing me with his arms outstretched. I met Ethyl's eye and got the message, to let it happen. Even as she pressed up against her little brother, resting her head on little brother's shoulder.

I gingerly placed my hands on Da-Ming's waist, and we slowly swayed and rotated together. Every once in a while, I glanced at Ethyl, and she sometimes caught my eye and smiled.

I glanced around. Grandma and Grandpa danced together off in the distance, and I saw Wesley dancing with a male cousin.

The slow dance ended. I let go of Da-Ming, and returned to claim my Yoo-hoo. I encountered Aurora; surprisingly, she was nursing a bottle of beer. She looked hot in her white high-rise white short-shorts and suspenders over a hot-pink abbreviated t-shirt.

"Hey, Chance. Care to dance?" she asked in breathy tone -- was that what they called a husky tone?

I smiled. "Sure!" We set our drinks down and returned to the dance floor. The dance music was a nice bright fast tune, and we danced alive.

We stayed together when the music ended and a new slow dance began. She promptly put her hands on my shoulders and pressed against me. I put my hands around her back, and we began swaying to the music.

A minute into the dance, she stood up on tip-toe and whispered into my ear, "Put your hand on my butt."

"What?" I echoed dumbly, not sure what I'd just heard and only then realizing that my penis was partly hard, fortunately pressed up against my body with the tight pants and vest.

"Your hand. Put it on my butt." There was that husky voice again, and I was now fully hard. My left hand was moving in circles on her bare back below my right hand, so as I rotated, I slid my hand down lower. My hand kept moving in circles, smoothly cupping her bottom every time my hand reached down there.

I wondered how far I dared go. Spotting Grandma and Grandpa dancing together again, I decided not to go any farther.

I didn't need to. She whimpered, then shuddered, froze and stiffened for several seconds, shuddered again, and finally relaxed and resumed her ordinary breathing. I only noted this in the back of my mind, as I only noted how high and hard I felt. It all hit the front of my mind, when I felt the jolt of her kiss on my shoulder -- a jolt to the system.

The slow-dance ended. As we parted, she slid her hand down my side, then up under my suit jacket back to my butt. A couple seconds there, and she lightly slapped my butt, winking.

Ethyl joined us with her brother and his friend, and the five of us danced the next dance. Following that, Ethyl claimed me for the final slow dance. I began with my hands one her waist, her hands on my shoulders, and looking into each other's eyes. She was so beautiful

I felt so high, I again only noticed that my arms were around her back and she was pressed up against me, when she stood on tip-toe and whispered in my ear, "You may put your hand on my bottom if you wish."

So as I circled my hands around her back, I let my left hand slide down to her bottom. I didn't cup or squeeze it, or do anything else. This was sufficient.

We spontaneously kissed for a moment, but then the dance ended. I thought that this was the final dance, and I was definitely sleepy enough to head up, but Grandpa took the microphone on the band platform, and announced one more dance. At the same time, Grandma tapped my shoulder and claimed me.

I wondered, did Grandpa announce that simply so that Grandma could have the last dance with me? A new slow, soft, romantic tune began. Grandma placed her hands on my shoulders, and pressured me down, even as I wrapped my arms around her back. Her mouth tasted of mint Listerine, not bad, not great. Nevertheless, we wound up smooching the entire dance. I thought of feeling her butt, but decided against it.

I looked over at Ethyl, now slow-dancing with both her brother and her brother's friend. She met my eye and smiled. I looked around some more, and saw Aurora dancing with a man I didn't recognize. She also somehow sensed my observation, and turned her head to meet my eye. She winked.

As the song ended, I noticed that Grandma felt a lot like both Aurora and Ethyl when pressed up against me. We pulled away, but Grandma took firm hold of my hand. We all left the ballroom, and I guessed that Grandma wanted me to escort her to her lair.

As we left, we passed Ethyl and Aurora standing next to each other -- were they awaiting us? Aurora winked and put her thumb and fore-fingertip together as a sign of approval, and Ethyl gave a thumbs-up and said, "Have a great night!"

I didn't know what else to say besides, "You too." I smiled at them.

"Good night, dears," added Grandma. I didn't really know where her room was, so I let Grandma lead me by the hand.

I wondered whether to bring it up, but I finally worked up the nerve. "People seem to think that we are going to do something naughty tonight."

"Parties are always an excuse to engage in naughtiness," she replied. I couldn't tell; was there a certain lasciviousness to her tone?

Once we reached her room, I took Grandma in my arms and was about to kiss her good night, when someone seized my shoulder. It was Grandpa.

"Young man, this is your bedroom tonight." Grandpa opened the door, and led my shoulder into the master bedroom. I spotted my suitcase in one corner, with my dirty clothes all washed, pressed, and stacked on top.

"Young man, you make sure Grandma has a wonderful night, and you have one yourself." He left the room, closing the door behind him.

I looked at Grandma. Grandma looked at me. I was at a loss. "Shall we take a bath?" I finally suggested. I was really sleepy.

"A peachy idea," she answered.

"Just a minute while I run the bath," I said as I turned toward the bathroom. "How do you like your water?"

"Lukewarm, thank you," she answered.

I slipped my suit jacket off on the way, and draped it over a near armchair. I started up the bath, blinking and breathing heavily to keep awake, and returned to Grandma.

I fumbled with my tie, eventually untying it and letting it drop. I followed it with my dress shirt, unbuttoning it one by one, and worked if off with some difficulty and trepidation. "Would you like help with your dress?" I audaciously but terrifiedly asked as I tossed my shirt on the arm over the suit jacket on the armchair.

"Why, thank you, young man. That would be so kind of you."

A zipper up the back of her dress seemed a bit difficult for her to reach and lower, but I had no problem. It took but a minute to lift her dress over her head and off her arms. "Grandpa normally helps you with this, I assume?"

"Now don't you get fresh, young man," Grandma answered in her thick layers of ruffles, almost a dress in themselves. I didn't know what to say there, a bit embarrassed. "Not that way. Now help me out of these feathers."

"Gladly, Ma'am."

We were both naked within five minutes. We both managed to keep it casual, as if this were the norm. When looking at her, I kept my gaze on her face. I slipped an up-down glance at her body a couple times when she was facing the other way.

I offered Grandma my arm, which she gladly accepted, and escorted her into the bathroom, and helped her into the tub, a Whirlpool. This gave the best view of her nakedness so far. Can't say that I was aroused, but it was mildly exciting in its own way. Sleepy as I was, my mind seemed out of it off and on.

"This mechanism is supremely naughty," she said as I turned on the whirlpool water outlets. "I've heard my daughters and granddaughters enjoying themselves on the massager." I became wider awake, and hardened for the first time since the dance, imagining Ethyl and Aurora squatting in front of one of the water spouters.

I slipped into the bath behind Grandma, my legs on either side of her and above her thighs. I found a soft washing ball and a bottle of liquid skin cleanser, and began gently washing her back.

Meanwhile, Grandma poured something into the bath, filling the tub with huge opaque suds.

I was sleepy, trying to stay awake, as I washed Grandma's back and went around to her front with my left hand. My right arm was around her waist, perhaps to steady myself.

I reached her left breast, and she said, "Now Chance, young man!" as she pushed my hand away, and then pulled it back and covered my left hand holding it cupping her breast. I continued washing her front with my right hand, deciding to avoid her down-there. I did lightly wash her thighs, the parts where I could reach.

I slid my right arm around her waist, and gently pulled her back toward me, as I lay back and slithered down the tub. We relaxed -- until I jittered and blinked. I might have fallen asleep.

"Grandma, I think it would be a good time to finish up our bath."

"Pardon?" She shook herself, apparently confused. Did she just wake up? "Oh, yes. I must have fallen asleep. Let's rinse off and get out." So we rinsed off, and we patted each other dry.

I escorted her to her bed, yawning throughout, and we both rather clumsily climbed into the bed. I think I conked out before I lay down.

Sunday Awakening

I woke up in Grandma Taylor's bed, next to her. We were both naked, as far as I could tell, and she was sound asleep. I leaned over and mouthed her nearest breast. Still asleep, she issued a quiet moan. I felt, more than saw, Grandpa's head joining me on her other breast and nipple. He was in bed on her other side.

"Oh, [gasp!] you naugh- [gasp] naugh- [gasp] wicked men! [gasp]" I left my mouth and tongue on her nipple, and raised my eyes as much as possible toward her face. She was doing her best to stare both of us down sternly. I gave her nipple another tongue-flicking, and she gasped and arched her back up, releasing it back down.

I kept mouthing her breast and tongue-flicking her nipple for another twenty seconds or so, while caressing her tummy up and down with one hand.

"Keep Grandma occupied, Grandpa," I whispered, as I replaced my mouth with my hand, flicking her nipple with my thumb. I slithered down the bed, hoping to catch her unawares. (This was something I always wanted do. So far, I'd never had the opportunity.) I slipped my tongue in her belly button, while sliding my other fingers lightly along the side of her waist.

Grandma kept laughing and gasping, trying to catch her breath, and unable to get a word out. She pulled her tummy in and pulled her knee up off to the side, pulling her waist away from my fingers. That was my opportunity!

One leg was up to the side, leaving her wide open, giving me free access down between her legs. It was totally dark down there, so I was operating blind. My nose bumped her pussy.

Grandma's gasped raspy hoarse "Ah!" motivated me to preempt a possible "No!" and lap her pussy from bottom to top, tongue-tip between her slit. She shrieked another, "Ahh!" a couple octaves higher, gasped, and jerked her legs about.

Surprisingly, neither the smell nor the taste were bad. For some reason, I expected it to be, well... stale? It was mostly nothing.

I repeatedly licked from down in her vagina up over her clit. Occasionally, I nibbled on her soft skin, eliciting an even stronger "Oh my Gracious!" reaction.

Out of the blue, Grandma shrieked out, "Oh my God, fuck me hard!"

Grandpa's butt thwacked me, shoving my shoulder. I found my face next to his hard penis, thrusting and probing to enter Grandma. That was bad enough, but somehow, I moved aside and took Grandpa's hard dick between my fingertips and directed it into Grandma's pussy. Oh, icky-yucky-squicky! Grandpa shoved hard.

"Oh yeah, give it to me!"

I slid off the bed and watched and listened. Grandma was loud! Grandpa was vocal as well, snorting and grunting. I admit that I didn't find it erotic. It was rather interesting in its way, though.

Sunday Morning

Those of us who were still here all had breakfast together in the dining room. Grandma, Grandpa, and I received a round of applause when we entered.

"Thank you, thank you!" Grandpa raised his hand and everyone quieted down. "We had a wonderful party yesterday, thanks to all of you, and a wonderful night. Shall we break our fast without further ado?"

We had a nice breakfast. Afterwards, several of us joined Grandma and Grandpa for church. (I rarely attended church these days.) I must say that the preacher's sermon was interesting and friendly, unlike some. When the collection was passed around, I noticed Grandpa slipping in a check for a huge amount. "We were very naughty yesterday," whispered Grandma in response to my raised eyes.

We had a Sunday Dinner -- almost like a family, with far fewer people, and then it was time to depart and return to school. I hugged and kissed Grandma good-bye, and shook Grandpa's hand.

"Thank you for everything," I said.

"Thank you, young man," he replied.

I got into the limo, and wound up sitting between Ethyl and Aurora. Grandma bent down for one last hurrah: "Chance, you treat those young ladies as honorably as you did me," she admonished.

The limo drove us to the local airport. Wesley, Ethyl's little brother, and her brother's best friend sat across from us in the cabin. Both Aurora and Ethyl leaned against me and dozed off. I dozed off a little myself.

We woke up at the airport, and the hassle of checking in got me fully awake for a while. We finally got on the turboprop to the major airport, we got to sit in the back five-row seat: Aurora, me, Ethyl, her brother, and Da-Ming.

"Here," said Ethyl as she handed me a sheet with contact information for both her brother and Da-Ming. Aurora took the sheet, and added her own information. "Please keep in touch," she said, looking as pleaful and innocent as I ever saw her.

At the major airport, Aurora hugged me good-bye. I glanced at Ethyl, who gave me thumbs-up even as she and her brother were kissing. So Aurora and I got into a nice good-bye kiss. Da-Ming insisted on a good-buy hug, so I hugged him good-bye. No kissing, however. I wasn't quite up to kissing a guy.

Da-Ming and Ethyl's brother went with the rest of Ethyl's family, and Aurora went with her, um, family. That left the three of us -- Wesley, Ethyl, and me -- to search for our flight back to school.

We found our flight with time to spare, and boarded half an hour later for the return trip.

Epilogue

As I said, the story of how I lost my virginity is interesting and downright surprising. This was not that story. That came later, as did I.

The END
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Comments

okay, rather different

but kind of sweet, thanks for sharing it

DogSig.png

Not very enthusiastic

Daphne Xu's picture

I'm sorry if this didn't really appeal to you. Thanks for the comment.

-- Daphne Xu

Truly unique!

Pretty hilarious story. Chance O'Winnin indeed! Extreme naughtiness and loved the mixup with the date. Well done. Thanks!

>>> Kay

Thanks!

Daphne Xu's picture

Glad you liked it!

-- Daphne Xu

Leftfield, unconventional, rather (im)moral and quite hilarious

Double Ethyl Group?
I used to be quite good at chemistry (with a stress on "used to") in high school ( the 20th best in my year in a nationwide contest (not the US)) but I can't imaginge what something with a double ethyl group would be like. Possibly quite intoxicating.

My then department head arranged a disco on HIS 13th birthday.

.

Double Ethyl

Daphne Xu's picture

I looked up the ethyl chemical, and it appears that a double ethyl might simply be butane:

Double ethyl aka C4H10

I suspect that it would be poisonous to drink or inhale. Was your department head's birthday also Feb. 29?

I hope that the young Ethyl and the young-at-heart Ethyl don't prove a lethal combo for the protagonist.

-- Daphne Xu

I tend to complicate things too much

I should have thougth of double ethyl without anything else. However, we are both right: it's both intoxicating and lethal. I suspect the Ethyls could very well be that as well.

Yes, the deparment head was born on Feb 29. Otherwise he'd been very young. Not impossible though. I learned programming in the stone age (i.e. pre-PC) when this addictive (terminal) disease wasn't widespread at all outside technical universities. When we got stuck writing programs we could go to the office of the assistant. Once when I did that there was a 10-year old boy sitting there. Yes, he was the programming assistant.

And another thing: The font for the invitation, did you find that using comments on "Thumping hearts ..."?

Invitation

Daphne Xu's picture

The font: yes, it was the "Fiolex Girls" font. Someone (court?) was kind enough to mention it in one of the Thumping Hearts posts.

-- Daphne Xu

Old Chemistry Joke

Daphne Xu's picture

I managed to finally find the chemicals from an old joke in a chemistry class many years ago: "ethyl alcohol" vs. "dimethyl ether". They both have the compact chemical formula C2H6O -- they are isomers. It's not a good idea to ask for C2H6O, because instead of getting booze ("ethyl alcohol", CH3-CH2-OH) you might get "dimethyl ether" (CH3-O-CH3), a poison. ("Di" means two, and "methyl" is methane with a hydrogen atom removed. And "ethyl" is ethane with a tail hydrogen atom removed.  "Ethyl alcohol" puts OH in the empty spot.)

And I also discovered "diethyl ether" (CH3CH2-O-CH2CH3). The two Ethyls, separated by Oxygen, just might be lethal.

-- Daphne Xu