continue him on his path of discovering who he, or she, really is.
Copyright© 2017 Rebecca Jane
All Rights Reserved.
Author's Note: This chapter has been hard to write, not necessarily the content but had happened to me last month. Some saw where I had to bury the only Dad I remember, my Step-Dad who completely accepted me after I started my transition 4 years ago. Also the man I loosely based the character of Pop from. Dealing with his passing, and the hole that has been left in my life has cause my muse to be.... Uncooperative... I had to rewrite some areas that I had intended more interaction with the parents in this chapter, I just couldn't get past those parts though. Hopefully I was able to salvage this chapter and still achieve what I had wanted. Hope you all enjoy. ~Rebecca
Walking through school the next day was a bit surreal, I kept seeing faces in the hall that normally I’d never have noticed. Since last night and what we had shared I kept bumping into people from the group, while we couldn’t act like best friends now we did share knowing looks and smiles in passing. Except for Dave that is, when I would pass him he’d keep giving me his shit eating grin and saying, “sup dude…” At first I laughed but as the day progressed I was tempted to hit him again. He didn’t aggravate me anymore than Jen does, it was just… different…
I met up with Alicia as I was headed to lunch, so we walked in together. I got the standard hug from Robin and as I turned around I saw Jen threatening Alicia with her fork when Alicia started to get close to her. Jen just exclaimed while holding out her fork, “Try and kiss me again and I’ll fork you up!!” Which pretty much set the mood for the entire meal. Sadly though while we smiled at each other, Karen wasn’t anymore friendly to me than normal. I knew with what, or more specifically who, her priorities lied. I really hated that, last night I had hoped we could become better friends, but who knew what the future was going to bring.
I did have to pass up on an invitation for a sleep over on the drive home from Jen, which she was trying really hard to get me to come to. Once I told her the reason she did back off, for the first time I wasn’t backing out from fear. This time I already had plans, it was the first weekend in almost a month that Paul didn’t have to go to Ridgeland, which was home for him. We were actually going out on our first real planned date. I was excited and nervous at the same time, Jen just smiled and told me that was a perfectly normal girly response.
I’d love to say that we went to a super fancy restaurant for our first date, but honestly he was in college and I was in high school. I’d have been truly happy if we’d just gone to McDonalds for our date, just as long as we were spending time with each other it didn’t really matter to me where we ate. We did go back to the Mexican restaurant where I had told him everything, and then had spent several hours walking hand in hand around campus talking about everything and nothing. The kiss that we shared after he had walked me to my car took my breath away, it was the perfect ending to a perfect night.
My weekend was a blur though, Friday night and Saturday I took a break from all the preparing for the end of the semester exams. I split spending time with Paul and Mom for our Saturday afternoon before starting back on finals preparation. The past few years my grades were just a side effect of me not having anything else to do but study and I wasn’t really concerned with them, but now with just a week before semester finals they had become a sense of pride. My grades were something I had earned, regardless if it was Robbie or Rebecca that had gotten them. I had been in the top 2% of my class but over the last couple of months with everything going on I had slipped to the top 5%. I was determined that no matter what, I was going to get them brought back up.
A lot of things had happened during that week but I was so busy they barely even registered with me at first. My parents had met with the attorney that Sharon, or Coach, had recommended earlier during the week, preparing for my public outing the week of finals. It was actually his idea to schedule the meeting with the superintendent, my principals and other required board members on the last day of my finals, to keep me from being distracted until my testing was complete on Wednesday. While concerned about the meeting I did my best to push it in the background for the moment.
My new amended birth certificate arrived in the middle of the week, just as Gene, Pop’s friend from the courthouse, had promised. It arrived just in time for the hearing for my name change on Thursday, thankfully with me being a minor I didn’t have to appear as my parents had all the required paperwork. With all the paperwork in hand we even made the trip to the DMV on Friday evening and for all practical purposes Robbie was no more. My anxiety at going to the DMV had been extraordinarily high, the trooper at the desk when we arrived had less personality than a toaster. He simply filed the paperwork, took the new pictures and half an hour later we were driving home with me staring at Rebecca on my new license. The last hurdle was going to happen on Wednesday afternoon at school.
I finished my last exam almost an hour early, all the cramming and studying had made the tests a breeze, I just hope they had gone as well for the girls. The appointment was scheduled for 1pm, so I was able to attend lunch with the group one last time as “Robbie”. The girls, or at least the three I had been studying with so much, were in good spirits after that mornings exams. The other three not as much, the more I and my ‘bodyguards’ joked around the more upset the other girls got at us. Jen, Alicia, and Robin all knew what was coming up and were acting up trying to get me out of my head as much as possible and I appreciated it immensely. A few minutes before lunch was over, I just stood up and said, “It’s time. I’ll see y'all around.” My ‘bodyguards’ all three got up and hugged me for all they were worth, amongst the confused looks of Holly, Karen, and Michelle. I immediately turned and walked to the Principal’s office trying to hide the tears their support had brought out.
No sooner did I walk into the office I was enveloped in the arms of my parents who had been waiting for me. My attorney, Mr. Fuller was waiting as well and smiled at our embrace.
“You ready for this?” Mr. Fuller asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders and told him, “I think I am, but I’m scared…” I immediately started trembling even though both my parents had their arms around me. I had been planning for this for over a month, looking forward to it. Now that the moment was upon us to put the last part of Robbie to rest, I was terrified of what was about to transpire. I took as much strength as I could from my parents, and just nodded my head. Mr. Fuller then told the assistant behind the desk that we were ready. Five minutes later we were seated around a conference table facing off against 5 individuals who were about to decide if I could continue here at the High School. The Head Superintendent was Dr. Miller, who I had actually had as a Principal in like the 2nd grade. Mrs. Johnson was the assistance principal here, and I already had a dislike for her. I had tried to complain to her about the bullying I was enduring early in the 9th grade, she had told me to quit whining and that it would toughen me up and she had treated me like I was a troublemaker ever since.
As Dr. Miller spoke he had a grim expression on his face. “We’ve been reviewing your file and the recommendation of the board is that in your… child’s best interests that you should seek to transfer him to another school. One that can better serve his unique… uhh… issue.” I started trembling much worse and winced when he called me him.
“You mean HER, don’t you Dr. Miller?” corrected Mr Fuller. “You can see from HER medical files and HER birth certificate, that my client is legal and medically female and I think it would be in your best interests to recognize her as such. As far as HER unique issue, its already been dealt with medically and is finished. She is and will forever be FEMALE, all we are here for today is for the School Board to recognize that. Not only that SHE be recognized as female, but will be treated as such.” Mom smiled at Mr Fuller and firmly squeezed my hand.
“Excuse, me I know what the papers say here but do you really expect us to believe that this child right here is actually a girl?” Mrs. Johnson asked, right as she noticed my attorney getting ready to go on another rant she quickly added, “I’m not trying to be argumentative sir, none of us have ever heard of anything like this happening before and its just rather difficult to believe. Just looking at him… Robbie… It’s hard to believe you expect us to let… Robbie… Use the female facilities and for us to just think that he's now a her. How are we supposed to alleviate the fears of the girls and girls parents that a former boy is now going to be in the restroom with them?”
“Are you saying that he doesn’t look enough like a girl?” Mr. Fuller asked her, a slight bit of a smile on his face. Mrs. Johnson just nodded. He then continued, “Then I suggest that we let Rebecca go and change while her parents and I continue this discussion. You can easily let HER use the staff restroom here in the office.”
Dr Miller started to say that wouldn’t accomplish anything before I interrupted, “It would only take me 10 minutes, please.” There was a mix of surprise and confusion on their faces due to me letting my voice side back to its normal range mid sentence. Mom handed me a bag that had my change of clothes they had brought, as Mrs. Johnson motioned me to follow her.
Leaving the conference room she directed Samantha, a senior working as an office assistant this period, to let me use the restroom and then she returned to the room we had just left. I knew Samantha because we were in AP Biology together with Jen, usually seniors didn't associate with underclassmen.
“Robbie what's going on? Are you okay? I sort of heard a bit of what they were talking about when they went in earlier, but didn’t know who they were talking about… Are you getting kicked out of school?” Samantha asked, she actually appeared to be worried for me. She had always been pretty nice to me, and due to the intensity of the class we shared we had also studied together in groups.
“I… I don’t know what's going to happen… I’m trying to stay… That's why we have an attorney with us today…” I tell her.
“Did you do something to get kicked out?!” She asked incredulously.
“I… Samantha I don’t have time to explain in detail… Remember when we talked about anomalies in nature and stuff?” I asked her, to which she nodded. “Well… I’m an anomaly… You’ll see in a minute, but I really have to change and get back in there.” She looked at me, obviously trying to figure out what was going on but let me behind the counter and I darted into the restroom.
Once I made sure the door was locked I quickly stripped out of my clothes and that infernal compression vest, thankfully for the very last time. Quickly donning my new clothes I appraised myself in the mirror. While I was still a bit nervous and slightly trembling, seeing my reflection started to calm me. Noticing how my v-neck sweater and jeans were form fitting, with the neck of my sweater showing just a hint of cleavage. Then my eyes went up to my shoulder length blonde hair, matched with my perfectly shaped eyebrows, it framed my face and I couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly. There was no hint whatsoever of a boy in that reflection. With my resolve now strengthened I quickly added some eyeliner and mascara to make my eyes stand out just a bit and added a bit of lip gloss. Taking one last glance in the mirror I took a deep breath and then opened the door and stepped back into the office.
I couldn't help but giggle at Samantha’s face when she turned and looked at me as I exited the restroom. “See, this is the real me Samantha, this is why I’ve been so… out of it the past few years.” I tell her. The shock of seeing me and then hearing my natural voice almost made her speechless.
“Robbie… You look just like a girl! You even sound like one!!” She exclaimed. Then almost as an afterthought she asked, “Are you transsexual?”
“Look I need to get back in there, I’m intersexed… Outside I was born looking like a guy, but internally I’ve always been a girl… I just finally started accepting it a few months ago with a friends help…” I told her looking back to the conference room.
“Okay good luck in there…” She said softly, she looked like she still had a hundred questions just waiting to be asked.
When I reentered the conference room it was apparent that they had been in a heated discussion, and from the faces around the table it also seemed that Mr. Fuller was winning by a long shot. Already appearing frustrated Dr. Miller snapped at me when I came in, “Young lady this is a private meeting!”
It confused me for just a second, before I realized he didn’t recognize me. From the faces behind the table none of the administrators recognized me as the ‘boy’ that had left the room a short time ago. “Umm, I know Dr. Miller… You all knew I went to change… It’s me…” I said trying to stop the giggle that was threatening to come out. I could see Mom and Mr. Fuller were both trying to suppress their own smiles, but Pop was all business as usual and just continued to stare down the board.
Mrs. Johnson was the first to speak, “Robbie? Is that you?” I simply nodded to which she quickly raised her hand to her mouth trying to stifle us from hearing her say “Oh my God!!”
Mr. Fuller quickly jumped in, “HER name is Rebecca as you can see from her legal documents, and I would seriously recommend the board start recognizing and using HER name!”
There were several moments of silence other than the noise of me retaking my seat next to Mom where she firmly grasped my hand once I sat down. Finally it was Dr. Miller that spoke first, “Well it looks like the board doesn’t have much of a choice… I still advise that you find another place for your education Rob..” He glared at Mr Fuller before he continued, “Rebecca… This… Situation is frankly something no one has heard of happened and we don’t know how the student body will deal with this. Regardless of what the boards recommendations or opinions on the matter… We don’t want to see anyone get hurt…”
“Are you trying to say that someone might try to beat me up or hurt me?” I asked him.
He gave me a pained look then said, “Yes they might… We’ve had problems in the past with students who were just rumored to be gay who had problems with other students… I can’t even fathom how some students will react to this… I strongly urge you to reconsider…”
“Dr. Miller I’ve been bullied and beaten up for years, I’ve learned to take care of myself quite well thank you very much… I’ve… I’ve…” It was taking all of my self control to keep from starting to cry, I had hated coming to school for years from the bullying. Even though I knew the bullying would more than likely become worse, I realized how much I wanted to stay. I had made friends, who knew about me and who genuinely liked the new me. I was actually proud of my grades and what I had accomplished, especially over the last few months. If I ran home I would be like I was still hiding, and that was something I just couldn’t do anymore. Taking a few quick breaths to try to calm myself, I finally continued, “Mr. Miller I’m going to stay, my education is important to me. I have friends here, and I mean real friends who've already proved they will stand by me. I’m a great student, and I’ve even tutored a lot of the football players just so they could keep playing… I’ve been hiding and trying to run from this for so long… I’m not running anymore.” I said that with such resolve I actually surprised myself.
I could detect some respect in the stares given to me from across the table, except from one. Mrs. Johnson looked upset at me, she quickly started rummaging through my file until she found what she was looking for. “So this was the reason you got the waiver from attending PE? That was the physical aberration this mentions?” Not sure where she was going, I just nodded. “Well since your attorney here says that your ‘condition’ is repaired then there is no need for you not taking PE…” She said with a slightly malicious grin.
“Huh, no I guess there isn't a reason for me not to anymore… I don’t have a free period though..” I tell her confused.
“I see from your schedule you have one elective that we could change… Physical Education is a required class for state requirements. You only were able to get out of it from this waiver, which you all have said doesn’t apply anymore.” She said still grinning. Then she added, “Now though you would have to be put in the girls PE, that shouldn’t be an issue should it? I’m not sure how the girls would like having a former boy in there with them, but as you’ve said you’re all girl now.”
I started to see her rationalization… I’ve also seen just how vicious girls can be to each other, not in a physical sense either. Mrs. Johnson had seen I wasn’t afraid of the physical possibilities, but maybe the thought of facing an entire class of angry girls would make me reconsider. It honestly felt like just another attempt to bully me, but this time from an adult… It pissed me off.
“You’re right I am completely female now, and I don’t have a reason not to take PE. I take it you’re talking about me dropping Band for PE? You know what? That's fine, I wasn’t a big fan of playing a trumpet anyway…” I told her coldly.
The smirk she had on her face started to deflate, her face then hardened from realizing I wasn’t going to be scared off that way. She then said angrily, “Fine then, I’ll make the required changes as soon as we leave the office.”
We sat there while the board and Mr. Fuller deliberated for a few minutes and I think that Mom could feel my anger at Mrs. Johnson simmering. She looked at me worriedly and then suggested to everyone that unless I was needed by the board to let me be excused from the meeting. The Board and Mr. Fuller agreed, so Dr. Miller, noticing my discomfort with Mrs. Johnson, escorted me out. He directed Samantha to set me up with a new school ID, and giving me an uneasy smile told me that he hoped I had made the best decision before he returned to the conference room.
Samantha smiled at me, and said, “Since you’re getting a new ID that answers my first question. I don’t want to bug you, but I have so many others I don’t know where to begin though…” I simply smiled at her, at least she was curious without any sign of being upset with me. I gave her a slightly more comprehensive run down of what happened with me, and when I was done she simply responded, “Wow… Mrs. York would have a field day with this, you know she might want to you to do a presentation or something in Biology when she finds out…”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that, mostly because it had crossed my mind before. Mrs. York was our AP Biology teacher. She always loved to teach us about all the little quirks of nature, and admittedly what had happened to me definitely would be a quirk. “Yeah I’ve already thought about that… You know… I’d probably do it if I could extra credit.” I said with a small laugh.
Samantha laughed as well adding, “Yeah, but you’re like the last person in that class that needs extra credit.”
We continued talking for another half an hour until the ‘adults’ were finished and came out of the conference room. Not one of the board members even acknowledged me upon leaving, other than Mrs. Johnson who announced she was going to start changing my schedule for next semester as soon as possible. My parents and Mr. Fuller though were all smiles, and explained that everything was all set in place, Robbie was finally no more. That realization I thought would bring me relief, and while I was mostly… There was still some trepidation of what the future would bring.
“So we’ll see you at home? You want us to drop you off at your car?” Mom asked me. It appeared she could feel some of my anxiety, it was just another thing that made me feel thankful. Since everything had come out and she had learned how bad off I had become, she was paying much more attention to me and also my mood.
“That would be nice but… I think I’m going to stay and go find Jen… She should be finished testing and in the gym with all the others that are done.” I told her. While I was a bit afraid, I was determined that I wasn't going to let it run my life again. “Besides if I made her ride the bus home I’d never hear the end of it.” I finished with a laugh.
“Okay baby, just be careful…” She told me and followed it up with a hug. I hugged Pop and even caught Mr. Fuller off guard with a hug too.
With a quick good bye to them I gave Samantha a smile and a nod thanking her, she just smiled and winked at me, “Rebecca, if you need anything just ask okay. Oh and if Mrs. York lets you do extra credit, you want a partner? I could use any extra points I can.”, she laughed.
I couldn’t help but giggle and say, “If she suggests it I’ll ask her. Thanks again.”
With my new student ID hanging around my neck I left the office and headed to the gym. After testing, the school would occasionally set up VCR projectors in the gym and showed movies in an effort to keep the students occupied and out of trouble. I was hoping Jen, Alicia, and Robin would be finished and in there killing time. I think they were expecting me to go home after the meeting and I wanted to surprise them.
Walking through the school, like I had done it so many times in the past, was different now. As I passed people, some I knew and others I only knew their faces, they looked up and smiled at me. I wasn't used to people responding to me that way, most of the time they barely registered my existence. I was actually feeling pretty good by the time I got to my locker to drop off all the stuff I didn’t need over Christmas break.
“Hey there you sexy thang”, a familiar voice said behind me. Due to my surprise I couldn't place it and I jumped a bit as I spun around to see Dave’s shit eating grin.
Slightly pissed at his smugness I slapped him on the arm, “Asshole!!” I said, before laughing at the mock look of hurt on his face.
He quickly recovered and that grin reappeared when he saw my ID hanging on the lanyard around my neck, “So I take it ‘he’ is gone for good?” I just nodded. “Are you okay?” He asked softly.
“Yeah… No… I don’t know exactly… I mean its just so… so… confusing… I’m glad that I can finally move forward and not hide who I am, but… I feel sad at the same time, like part of me has actually died or something… Does that make any sense?” I ask.
Dave gives me a sad smile and puts his hand gently on my shoulder, “It does… well mostly… Hey if you need anything, just let me know… I’ve got your back Rebecca…”
I reached up and gave his hand that was on my shoulder a squeeze, “Thanks Dave, that really means a lot. Are you sure though? I wouldn’t want you being friends with me risk people finding out about… well you know…” I ask.
He just grins, “Let me worry about that okay, you’re my friend so it’s worth it… Besides being friends with a lil hottie like you would only make me look even straighter.” He said laughing.
I couldn’t help but blush from the compliment he gave me and after a moment I stepped in close and gave him a hug. “Thanks Dave… You know you’re alright… For a jock at least…” I told him softly laughing.
Stepping back he clutched his hand over his chest, “Hey that hurts!!!” before he started laughing as well. Then he stepped in close and whispered, “Just don’t tell anyone, you know I have my rep to worry about. Ugh Me Football player ‘member!!” I couldn’t help but laugh loudly at his antics, with a few more laughs we parted ways with me headed to find Jen and the group.
Walking into the gym I saw that it was pretty full with students, I figured it was all the people who didn't have a ride home and had to wait for the bus. There wasn't many who were watching the provided movies, instead they were all split into groups talking so it was quite loud when I walked in. I started walking up one side of the gym looking for my friends in the bleachers and I noticed that some of the noise had started to quiet down. As I was scanning the bleachers I noticed a lot of eyes were staring at me, most were in confusion I guess, trying to figure out who I was, some were guys and their looks were… well they didn’t look confused at all. I had finished looking down one side and was about a quarter of the way down the other side of the gym before I heard Jen’s voice shouting my name. Relieved I went up to the top of the bleachers where my friends were seated, trying my best to ignore the other peoples stares.
“Well hey there girlfriend!” Jen squealed as she grabbed me in a huge hug, then more softly she asked, “How did things go?”
“Does this explain it?” I said as I held up my new school ID. Immediately all three girls squealed loudly and grabbed me in a three way hug, I was amazed that we all didn’t tumble down the bleachers I was so caught off guard.
We quickly sat back down in our group and I did my best to let them all know how things had gone with the board, even how Mrs. Johnson had tried to bully me. They were pissed at that, and just reassured me that they were going to make sure I was okay. We ended up just chatting about mostly inconsequential things, especially after a few people, mostly guys, came up to ‘introduce’ themselves to me. I was both flattered and creeped out at the same time. Most of the guys, were jerks who I despised from before, due to how they had treated me. I tried to be nice though, and keep the eye rolling to a minimum from their lame come on lines.
When the bell rang announcing the end of the school day, I all but sprinted out of the gym. I was feeling extremely self conscious from the attention I had received and it felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack. Jen, Alicia, and Robin did pretty good at keeping up with me all the way to the Ghia. When we got to my little VW none of them even asked for a ride and just climbed on in smirking at me. I just climbed in laughing softly and shaking my head, truthfully I was thinking just how lucky I was that these three girls were in my life.
On the ride to Jen’s house I finished filling them in on what all had transpired that I wasn't able to say at the gym. They started plotting on how to get back at Mrs. Johnson and I had to talk them down. I really didn't want to make any trouble, I just wanted to make as few waves as possible. I already knew that once the word got out of me becoming Rebecca it was going to cause quite a tsunami in this small town.
Alicia and Robin still had some tests to finish on Thursday and Friday, so they started to study once we got to Jen's while Jen and I began preparing us all something to eat. While we were getting stuff ready we joked and were laughing, when we were about half way done I noticed that Jen had gotten really quiet. I turned and looked at her, she had put the bowl she had been mixing down and was staring at me, I could see the tears starting to form.
“Jen what's wrong?” I worriedly asked, I was afraid that I had done something to upset her.
She smiled at me, but the tears had already started flowing down her cheeks when she rushed up to me and grabbed me in a viselike hug. Sniffling she started speaking, “Nothing's wrong… I was just looking at you a minute ago and I saw how at peace and happy you are… I just started thinking how only a few months ago how… miserable you were… about how close we came to loosing you… I don’t know what I would have done…” She broke down sobbing all the while clutching me for all she was worth. I just held on to her and felt myself starting to cry as well.
When I could finally speak through my tears, I told her, “Jen the only reason I am still here is because of you… You never gave up on me, even when everyone else had… You were the one that pulled me out of that horrible place I had locked myself up in… You were the one that showed me who I could be, and that I could be happy being her… I can never thank you enough for being in my life…” I was going to say more but I felt hands on my shoulders, I turned my head and saw Alicia and Robin there and they were both crying as well. I had no idea how long they had been watching us, but they wrapped their arms around us both.
“Rebecca we can’t thank YOU enough for being in our lives okay? Watching you overcome everything that you have, and still being such an amazing person has made our lives better because of it. We’re better people because of you, and don’t you ever forget it.” Alicia said while hugging me to which Robin just nodded.
While we were clutching each other and sharing our tears, all I could feel was this overwhelming feeling of love pouring over me. Even with the ups and downs that we had had with each other, I knew just how blessed I was that these girls were my friends. I knew that there wasn’t anything that any one of us wouldn’t do for the others.
Once we had composed ourselves and cleaned off our streaked makeup we all ended up finishing dinner. After the emotional outpouring we had shared, dinner was much more lighthearted. Mrs. Cook came home and was pleased to find us there in such good spirits, she was also thankful that we cooked enough for her and Mr. Cook too. She offered to do the cleanup so we could get back to studying.
We only studied for a little over half an hour more, Alicia and Robin had been in our study groups for a few weeks now and were pretty up to speed. Then our conversation dropped back to my situation, specifically when I was going to tell the other girls of our group. They didn’t know that Karen already knew, because I didn’t want to go into how she found out. That was her secret to tell and not mine. Since they already had an end of semester sleepover planned on Friday night, we all agreed that that would be when I ‘come out’ to the rest of the girls.
It was about 8:30 when we called it a night, mostly due to the fact that I still had to carry Alicia and Robin home and they had testing tomorrow so they had to get up early. As I dropped each one of them at home I got more hugs and they congratulated me again for making that final step.
I arrived at home a little after 9 PM to find my parents waiting up for me, I gave them a brief rundown of my afternoon and what we had planned for Friday night. From the stress and anxiety I had dealt with earlier I called it an early night because I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Not only that, but even though I didn’t have to go to school I was still planning on being up early.
I was leaned up shivering against Paul’s mustang at 7:20 that Thursday morning, while I was dressed warmly, I was still dressed to run and it was cold. A few minutes later my boyfriend came out of the dorm and his face lit up as soon as he saw me. After a good long hug and and even longer kiss we started to stretch for our run. Most people would think we were crazy for going on a run in these temperatures. This was going to be the last day that I was going to see Paul until Christmas break was over. He was heading home after his last test this afternoon, while I had told him to study he had refused. To my delight, he told me that he’d rather spend the morning with me. Part of me was mad at him for not studying, but the much larger part was ecstatic that he was making time for me today.
Due to the temperature we didn’t run at our normal pace, but honestly it was more enjoyable at our relaxed pace. It also helped that it took us that much longer to run our normal route. We had plenty of time after we finished our run, so he took me to Oby’s, a college sandwich shop hangout, for an early lunch. We mostly just laughed and teased each other between feeding our own sandwiches with each other. When we were saying our goodbyes back at his dorm I held on to him until it started to become awkward, and held on a few moments longer. I wished him luck and a safe trip and then gave him the most passionate kiss to date.
The rest of the day I spent removing the remnants of Robbie from my room and packing the clothes and other items in bags to donate. Mom gave me a hand for awhile after she got home from work and we reminisced over happy moments of ‘his’ past before I had started to spiral downhill. It was almost like a funeral in a sense, after an hour of this it became too much for either of us and Mom and I hugged and cried. After another emotionally draining day I turned in early again.
Going to bed early was resetting my internal clock, I woke up before sunrise and after 30 minutes of not being able to convince myself to go back to sleep I got up. Jen was going to be over in the afternoon to pick me up for the sleepover and to also go over my plans on what I was going to say, I started gathering my stuff together so I’d be ready when she got here. With everything I could think of packed up I started breakfast, Mom and Pop would be up soon and I wanted to do something nice for them after everything they’ve done recently. As I was cooking I thinking about tonight and I started to get a sinking feeling in my stomach. I didn't have a clue how Holly and Michelle would take the news, we were decent friends so I hoped it would be enough. That feeling though only grew more intense, no matter what I did I couldn’t shake it.
Trying to distract myself, and to also have the paper in place for Pop when he came in to the kitchen I went outside to grab it. The sun hadn’t been up for long, but I could tell it was already a dark dreary morning. That feeling of dread was still really strong, and as I looked at the sky I noticed the storm clouds in the distance. I immediately started praying that this wasn’t foreshadowing of what was to come later.
To Be Continued...
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