A SECOND CHANCE

It was past eight when I looked at the clock the next morning. I started to roll out of bed and stopped. I was really stiff. It took me five minutes to finally get my feet on the floor. It took another ten before I had my pants and shirt on. Those feet of mine might as well have been a thousand miles away when I tried to put my socks on. I finally managed by reaching down with one hand, holding the top of the sock open and wiggling my toes and then my foot in. The boots were last and I finally got them on. I had to duck under my hat to get it on. I had a hard time raising my hand high enough to get my hat up to the top of my head.

What would daddy be thinking about me sleeping in like this? I bet he was pissed he had to do all the milking by himself. I was coming down the hall when he walked in the front door.

"Morning Jake, how you feel? You going to try again tonight?" He was headed toward the kitchen before I could answer him.

That kitchen was a mile away as I worked one stiff leg up past the other. In the kitchen I hobbled up to the table and held onto it as I settled my body down into the chair.

Mom and dad were taking glances at each other and then at me. I shook my head. "I'm a little stiff this morning but it will be gone by tonight. I'll catch the number one spot tonight for sure."

I looked up and mom was staring at me and shaking her head. She turned around to scoop some eggs up out of the skillet. "You're as dumb as your father. You don't belong out there."

She set the plate of eggs down in front of me and poured a cup of coffee for daddy. She poured a second cup for herself as she sat down at the table. "We've already eaten. Those are your eggs, Katrina. You want any more?"

I shook my head. "No these are fine momma. I could have fixed them myself. You didn't need to bother."

"I'm sorry I slept in so late daddy. You should have woke me. I'll get the hay out for the cows as soon as I eat momma's eggs."

Dad took a sip of his coffee and then blew on it. "I hayed the cows already. You take care of Gunshy and see if you are able to loosen up enough to throw a rope. There's no need of going back tonight if you aren't able to throw."

"I'll be ready. You make sure the trailer is hooked up. Gunshy and I are going to collect that prize money." What I didn’t know at the time, there was an entrance fee for each night one wanted to compete. Daddy was paying for my failures so I could have another chance.

It took me all day to finally get where it didn't hurt to move. By six that evening I had helped dad with the evening chores and we loaded up Gunshy. I was going to get that number one prize money.

Most of the evening I received a lot of good natured ribbing from the cowboys about which end of the calf I was supposed to throw. Then they'd make some remark about my horse was better at throwing caves than I was. All I had to do was teach him to tie their feet. I'd smile and answer. "Yeah, you guys watch and learn because when I get my technique down I'm gonna be faster and better then any of you. All of you will want me to teach you how and I'm gonna remind you how mean you were."

It usually got a good laugh. They were good fun loving cowboys for the most part. They played hard and worked harder. The rodeo organizers rotated the events and calf roping came up before bull ridding tonight. I was fourteenth on the list. Those cowboys were hot and some of them were turning in real good times. It didn't make any difference. Gunshy and me were going to do it right tonight.

Finally it was our turn. We got ready. I looked over to my right. There was Bill Randall again along with all his crew. He gave me an okay sign. I nodded back. I was out for blood tonight. I got my lariat ready with my tie rope in my teeth, I dropped the reins on the saddle horn, leaned down and grabbed a handful of saddle. I checked the calf. Gunshy hunkered down. I nodded. That calf ran out of the chute at full throttle. Gunshy was already at a full run. I brought my rope up over my head to spread the loop. The calf plowed to a stop. Gunshy stopped. I didn't stop. I went up and out over Gunshy's head. With a thud, I landed on my back, eight feet out in front of Gunshy. I had the wind knocked out of me. I would have sworn I saw a disappointed look in Gunshy's eyes as he walked up and stood looking down at me.

I reached up and grabbed the stirrup to pull myself up before the rodeo clowns or cowboys could get out there. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to stop? What we have is a lack of communication. Next time yell out."

He had his head turned watching as I dragged myself back up into the saddle. I didn't feel like it nor did I want to. It's what cowboys do to show how tough they are. Right now I didn't feel so tough. I would have rather walked or limped out of the arena, thank you.

The rodeo announcer was talking to the audience. "Ladies and gentlemen, this has to be a big disappointment to Jake. This is the second night he has failed to qualify for this event. Please give him a big round of applause to show him we care. These cowboys put in a lot of hard work and sometimes it just doesn't come out right no matter what they do."

I didn't care what the audience thought. I knew I was a big disappointment to my dad. As I rode back through the chutes leading from the arena, Bill was waiting. "Tough luck, Jake. We all know you can do it. Stop trying so hard. Relax and enjoy it. It's only a game. No matter if you win or lose, you and a lot of others know you are the best in the world."

I reached over and offered my hand. "Thanks Bill. You don’t know how much that means to me."

He took my hand and gave me a firm handshake. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

Dad and I were up at four thirty milking cows the next morning. After chores I worked with Gunshy for a few hours. I didn't feel like roping so I raced those barrels dad set up. Gunshy was pushing them over most of the time as he raced around them. I tried pulling him a little further out but he would have none of it. He wanted in as tight a corner as he could manage. I knew he was frustrated with me and was wishing I'd get my act together.

We did our evening chores and loaded up for the last night of the county rodeo. There was very little discussion on the drive over. That was all right by me. I didn't feel like talking either. They did the bronc riding and the calf roping came up after that. I was placed last in the calf roping event. I don't think it had anything to do with the luck of the draw. I felt the judges had placed me there because I had embarrassed everyone. There were fast times turned in that night as the cowboys seemed to be extra hot.

Finally it was our turn. Gunshy and I backed into the chute. They hooked up the trip rope and the barrier rope. I heard someone call "Jake" over to my right.

Bill was leaning across the rail. "Relax Jake. It's no big thing. Tomorrow all these cowboys will be a hundred miles down the road riding in another rodeo. No one will care how you rode last night or the first night. The only thing they will be thinking of is how they are going to ride in the next rodeo. So enjoy tonight. They can't eat you, they can't throw you out, and they are all rooting for you. It's just between you, that smart aleck horse of yours, and an ornery calf who thinks he can outsmart you. Can he outsmart you, Jake?"

I looked down at the calf in the other chute. NO WAY! I was smarter than that calf. "I'm…," I looked up to my right, Bill was gone.

I dropped my loop down by my right leg. Reins on the saddle horn, tie rope in my teeth, I checked the calf. He was a runner. I checked my rope and grabbed a handful of saddle horn as I leaned forward. Gunshy hunkered, I nodded. They tripped the gate and that calf was out of there like a bullet. Gunshy was right behind. I had my right arm up and over my head swinging a loop. Every thing slowed down to slow motion. I could see the calf making a move to his left away from us. I adjusted my throw and my position in the saddle. I snaked that loop out where the calf was headed. Gunshy planted his feet when the loop passed out over his head. I was already swinging my left leg up and over the back of the saddle. The fastest way off is to swing the left leg backwards and roll off the saddle as the right foot is pulled from the stirrup. When Gunshy hit the brakes I was out of the saddle and had my back to him as I rolled out. I used his momentum and kept it going as I hit the ground running. The loop settled in over the calf's head. Gunshy already had it in reverse as he was taking up slack on the rope. The calf hit the end of the rope at a full run. That rope stretched two inches as the calf did a complete summersault backwards. I had three legs gathered up in my arms. I dropped the loop over the first and did three turns and a half hitch. I threw my hands up to indicate I was finished.

It was then I noticed the whole world had become deathly quite when it went in to slow motion. A flood of noise rushed in to great me as the audience rose to their feet and screamed. I heard the announcer as the flagman moved into to time the event to its' conclusion. "Not a world record but close if the calf can't work lose in ten seconds."

The flagman dropped his flag. The time was up and the calf was still tied. The crowd screamed again. I motioned for Gunshy to loosen up on the rope so I could turn the calf lose. Gunshy walked forward to where I was standing. I took the lariat off the calf and then my tie rope. The calf jumped up and ran. That was okay. He was supposed to.

I heard the announcer again. "Cowboys, and cowgirls, we saw some of the finest roping I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Jake made it into number one with his time tonight. Congratulations to a top rodeo hand."

I looked at Gunshy who was really the reason for me being as good as I was. "Take a bow Gun."

He bowed his neck. I picked up my hat were I had lost it and waved it toward Gunshy. He deserved all the credit. The audience shouted their approval.

Coiling up my lariat, I tied it with my tie rope and then fastened it to the saddle horn as I settled into the saddle. "Up Gun."

Gunshy reared up and stood on his back legs as he pawed the air. I didn't spoil the party by falling off the saddle. That was my contribution to the act.

Bill Randall was there at the chute leading out of the arena. As Gunshy walked out he held up his hand. "To the number one calf roper in America."

I reached out and shook his hand. "I don't think so Bill. I'm shaking hands with number one. It doesn't make a cowboy number one to do it right one time. It takes a lot of times doing it right. Check over your shoulder on your way to the national finals this year. I may be getting it right more than once every month."

He gave my hand a firm squeeze. "You would have gone into the record books tonight if the calf hadn't run sideways on you Jake. You're number one in my books. I'll take you on the road with me anytime."

Gunshy and I walked on out to the trailer. I was ready to go home. We had done what we intended to do. I was busy rubbing down Gunshy and talking to the cowboys who happened by. The rodeo ran through the bull ridding and still mom and dad didn't show up. The barrel racing event came up and I heard my name mentioned by the announcer.

"No, it's not true." I got up on Gunshy and rode back over to the chutes. All the cowboys were eyeing me suspiciously wondering what was going on. The cowgirls were protesting about a "cowboy" riding in the barrel racing event.

The judges had backed away from the microphone but we could hear them discussing it among themselves. Finally the announcer stepped back up to the mic. "Jake, you're up first in barrel racing. Would you please take your place in the chute?"

I hated my dad for doing this to me! I guided Gunshy into the chute. Cowgirls are allowed to be at a full run by the time they clear the end of the chute. A timer picks them up as they pass the gate and clocks them when they come back through after running the barrels. It was a girl's game. I hated it!

As bad as I hated being in the event, dad and mom had always taught me if it was worth doing then it was worth trying with all your skill possible. I leaned down on the saddle like I was getting ready to calf rope. I reached up and patted Gunshy on the neck. "This is bad enough, don't embarrass me."

He snorted as if to tell me not to embarrass him. I touched him with my heels. Gunshy was a sprinter if nothing else. He was flying when he passed that timer. He closed in on that first barrel. I knew he was going to cut it his way which was too close. I leaned over in the saddle and held the barrel with my right hand as Gunshy raced around it rocking it over. I pushed it back up as he raced on to the second barrel. Again he cut it too close and again I managed to push it back up as we raced toward the third barrel. The third barrel was a repeat of the first two. I looked over my shoulder as Gunshy raced toward the chute and the timer. The last barrel was still wobbling around like it was going to fall over. I didn't care. I didn't want to be in this event anyway. Tail flying straight out behind, his neck stretched out in front, Gunshy was flying as he passed back through the timer. He also never did anything halfway. It was either all or none for both of us."

I heard the announcer as Gunshy braked to a stop once he was past the timer. "Would Jake please report to the judge's stand."

All the cowgirl barrel racers were grouped up in a cluster glaring daggers at me. I had horned in on their sport and didn't belong. I thought it was funny because I agreed with them. I didn't think I belonged either. As I walked past them to the judge's stand one of them spit in my direction. "You think because you're too small to be a cowboy you can get in our event? Why don't you put on a dress and play the part, dear?"

All of them laughed. I started to say something and then decided not. I didn't want to be a girl. My name was Jake. Daddy told me so. I climbed the steps up to the judge's stand.

They were all looking at me. One of them cleared his throat. "What's your name?"

"Jake." That was a dumb question since I was registered as Jake.

"No, what's your real name?" He wasn't going to give me an out.

"I like Jake." I knew what he was wanting.

"What does your mother call you?" He was going to nail me down so I couldn't squirm out of the question.

I looked at all the strangers in front of me and then down at my old scuffed cowboy boots. "Katrina."

"Is that the name on your birth certificate?"

I hated this. "Yes."

"What's your full name?"

Why did dad enter me into the barrel racing? I hated him too. "Katrina…, Katrina Ann McDonald."

I looked up at a bunch of shocked faces. "May I go?"

One of the women judges walked up and put her hand on my shoulder. "What sex are you?"

I felt them coming and I couldn't stop them. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I hated the whole world for doing this to me. "I'm a damn girl! Is that what you wanted to know? You want me to drop my pants and prove it? I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

Cowboys don't cry! I spun around as I wiped the tears away. "I don't care about your damn ol barrel racing or your damn calf roping. You can keep your money and give it to someone else."

I ran back to Gunshy and mounted up. I was crying too hard to care what anyone thought. We raced out of there like the devil was behind us. It was several miles later I pulled Gunshy down to a walk and we cut out across the fields. I was going home and pack my clothes. I was going to run away. Gunshy and I would ride the rodeo circuit and make a living calf roping but I'd never barrel race again.