Gerold vs. the Good Old Boys

2/ Diagnosis

By Jo Dora Webster

Cover Art by Melanie E.

Can Gerald meet another challenge
as he recovers from the heart attack?

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2/ Diagnosis

I opened my eyes and saw myself all hooked up to monitors and IVs in an ICU room. A smiling woman's face dressed in scrubs greeted me as I looked at her nameplate which read Dr Patricia Drake. I reminded myself that it was not polite to stare at her cleavage, not any woman but especially my Doctor, and I turned my eyes up to look into hers.

"Gerald, its so good to see you awake. I'm a surgeon who specializes in dealing with brain and neurological trauma. Can you speak?"

I managed to get out, "Yes Doctor. Could I get something to drink?"

"Very soon, but not right now. We have some decisions to make, you and I. Can you confirm that you have no living relatives and that we have the latest version of your Durable Power of Attorney and Living Will dated July 6, 2015"

"Yes, that is accurate. I have full trust in Grace Brooks to make decisions for me while I am incapacitated. Is she here?"

"Yes, she's waiting to see you after we are finished. Gerald, you have a tumor that has been in your brain a long time... since you were born which was quite benign until recently. Your heart, by the way is fine. That weight loss drug induced the arrest.
Discontinuing the drug will alleviate the heart condition."

"What changed with the tumor recently?"

"We believe that experimental drug that you hoped would help with your weight problem triggered an unintentional side effect and caused the tumor to be malignant as well as triggering your heart attack. We are afraid that it might spread so it would be best to go ahead and remove it surgically?"

"Is it in a good place and size to be removed without serious complications?"

"For the moment it is small enough but it is growing and if we wait it will grow too large to remove surgically without some treatment to try to shrink it."

"Seems like I've been lucky. What effects besides refraining from pain, seizures and cardiac arrest should I encounter with removal"

"We've done a brain scan and have diagnosed you with Harry Benjamin Syndrome which is being masked by the tumor. The tumor is emulating the part of the brain that females don't have that makes males, masculine. If we remove the tumor then you will return to what would be normal for you of having a female brain in a male body. That change will dramatically change you as things stabilize. You'd become a transsexual."

"Being a transsexual isn't life threatening if one gets the proper medical treatment, is it?"

"No, Gerald it is not in and of itself. Treatment consists of psychological monitoring coupled with hormonal treatment and eventually a period of socialization in the true gender before genital surgery. A number of cosmetic treatments can be also performed, some of which involve surgery to aid in the adjustment of the body to meet expectations of a person of their true gender."

"I seem to recall a stir in the News outlets over some new and revolutionary treatment that allowed a transwoman to become the host mother for her critically ill sister a few years ago. Has it advanced and can it help me?"

"There is a new option,it's about as new as diagnosis of HBS from a brain scan, Stem Cells can be extracted and then encouraged to grow into the female reproductive organs that you are missing. I have an in with a research entity called Jaime's Hope Foundation that has had some success growing transplant interfaces but have yet to grow complete organs, I'd like your permission to extract some stem cells to send to them."

"You have it Doctor. I don't want to die, I'll sign the consent forms. How quick can we do this?"

I have an OR on standby. We can start as soon as we get you prepped and the rest of the preparations made.

She handed me a clipboard with sheets of paper with possible complications. As I read she explained what I was reading until I was satisfied and signed them.

"Thank you, Gerald. I'll set the process in motion to get you into surgery as soon as possible. I'll send in Grace so she can speak with you for a little while and also send in an RN to prep you for surgery."

My dear friend,Grace who was displaying a more cheerful demeanor than I felt which must have been for my benefit. Accompanying Grace into the room was a very professional and caring person in scrubs. I read on her name badge that she was Janine Howard, RN, who was apparently assigned to my case.

"Hello, Gerald, I am your Nurse, Janine Howard. I'm going to inject something to make you sleep into your IV. Miss Brooks you can chat with Gerald until you need to leave so I can finish the preparations."

"I understand, Nurse Howard."

"How are you doing, Gerrie?" The concern with which she regarded me with her eyes while maintaining her upbeat outlook, reminded me why we were such good friends

The nurse had prepared the syringe, with the drug, and injected it into my IV. Grace was the only person who I allowed to call me Gerrie, since we had been life long friends.

"The doctor says that it was the results of unintentional side effects from the weight loss medication that I have been taking. Not only did it cause the cardiac arrest, but it set off a tumor in my brain. It's not heart surgery that they are prepping me for it's brain surgery!"

"Well that explains why a brain surgeon was assigned to your case. What about your heart?"

"I quit taking the weight loss drug and my heart will be fine. Do you remember that article on the break through that they had with Harry Benjamin Syndrome that made its treatment a mandatory treatment under the Harris medical oversight regulations?"

"Yes, those poor girls and boys can now have a brain scan to diagnose and enable immediate treatment under their health plan instead of having to wait until they are adults and they could foot the bill."

"After they remove the tumor, I'll be a transwoman. The tumor emulated the part of the brain that makes males act like men. After the surgery, and the scan afterward confirms my condition, I'll be a woman according to federal law. They know that untreated this can be fatal so they will put me into treatment as soon as it is confirmed."

"Gerrie, we've been friends so long and that will never change."

"I'm glad that I can depend on your friendship, Grace. You know, this could be interesting."

"What could be interesting, Gerrie?"

"We put to rest a long time ago that a relationship would not develop between us since I was not the right gender for you. It will be interesting if anything develops after the real me is revealed post surgically."

"Well, it will only be fair to wait till you have all your surgeries and I get to see how cute you turn out."

"I hate to interrupt, but time is about up for your visit."

Grace did not hesitate but leaned down and planted a kiss full on my mouth. She looked with smiling eyes into mine while telling me, "For Luck!"

She turned to the door as I lay speechless, in shock. When she got to the door threshold she turned and blew a kiss to me.

I recovered my voice and told her, "Thank you, See you on the other side!"

She smiled a big smile and told me, "I'll be waiting!" and she turned back and left so the nurse could continue her work with me. it was shortly after that when I fell into a deep sleep.

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I woke in recovery and realized it was all over. I was amazed at how clear and sharp my thinking was now. I was perplexed that the kind of thoughts and observations that my mind quickly arrived at were not anything like what I was used to having. It was like a weight had been lifted from me. I finally had total freedom within my own mind.

Emotional content and descriptive content came to the front. Aggression and competition which had been my constant companions within my thoughts were no where to be found. Instead I had a peace that I had never known before. I felt a contentment best expressed by cooperating with others. Especially people who would in turn cooperate with me forming a synergy. Is this the real me? Is this what being female is like?

I saw a RN beside me look at the monitors and call in a report presumably to Dr Drake. Her arrival several minutes later told me that my assumption was correct. Both women were displaying ample cleavage but instead of exciting me as it once did, I soon turned to admiring their clothing choices and how it fit and how comfortable it looked.

"Hello, Gerald. Your recovery is coming along nicely. Your surgery went off without any problems and we got all of the tumor and the examination made while we were inside revealed no spread to any of the surrounding tissue. We caught it just in time. How do you feel?"

"I feel fine, Doctor. My mind is crisp sharp and alert but the things it's coming up with bear no resemblance to what I'm used to thinking. Suggestion would lead me to believe that I'm thinking in a female way now. Everything seems to have emotional content that even if it were there before I never noticed but I am well aware of it now. What ever it is, its like a burden has been lifted off me that I never realized that I was carrying. I feel so free!"

"The therapist that I've asked to take your case will help you to sort out these new thoughts and together you will sort through the options for your future."

"Thank you, Doctor. This is all so foreign to me but somehow it feels right. I thank you for saving my life and making sure I get all the help I need to cope with this new existence. Somehow, I don't want to be known as Gerald anymore. It does not feel right. I used to be known as Gerrie before my male pride got the best of me. Could I be known as Gerrie, now?"

"Of course, Gerrie. I'll make the notation on your chart and alert the nursing staff. You should go to sleep now if you can. We'll be moving you into a regular room soon."

"Yes Doctor and thank you so much."

"You are quite welcome, Gerrie You'll be going back to sleep soon but I have someone here to keep you company till then."

Grace arrived and blew me a kiss, "The Doctor said not to make physical contact with you yet so the air kiss will have to do for now, Gerrie. How are you feeling?"

"I feel very different and at the same time I feel congruent. It's like this was the way I was always supposed to be."

And how are you supposed to be, Gerrie?"

"I'm a woman. I'm sure that the doctors will have to do their scans and therapeutic examinations to confirm it but I have now doubts."

"Are you really okay with being a woman?"

"I am okay, don't worry, Grace. I'm glad that they told me what to expect or I would be beside myself trying to sort out this new me but since I know what was going on, I wasn't scared about the change and that helped"

"Are you uncomfortable in any way?"

"Just between you and me, I am very uncomfortable now having a male body. Certain parts especially distress me and I've only been awake a few minutes."

"Once your status is determined, I'll get you applied for treatment under your health plan. Patients who have a congenital abnormality rise to the top of the waiting list for surgical correction. They don't leave anything out so when you are finished with everything, you should be very comfortable with your body."

"What about the stem cells? Were they extracted and did the foundation accept growing me a reproductive tract?"

"They've accepted the cells subject to some reasonable conditions that I agreed to on your behalf and they will start the process once the cells arrive at their facility."

"That sounds great, Grace."

"If you are feeling up to it, Veronica is waiting to see you. She really wanted to see you prior to your surgery but there just wasn't time. I've had the doctors keep her up to date on your condition considering how close the two of you have become."

"I'm glad that she cares about me. I care about Veronica too. Of course, I'd like to see her. Does she know what the surgery was about? Does she know I'm a woman inside now?"

"Gerrie, she knows. I'm hoping things will work out okay."

"I'm not now what she signed up for when we started having fun together. Could you send her in and give us a little privacy?"

"Sure Gerrie. I'll get her." Grace left my bedside and soon after she left the room, Veronica came in.

"Gerald, I'm so glad that you are okay. You scared me with that heart attack and the emergency surgery afterward. I'm sorry that I haven't been in before but there just wasn't time for anyone but Grace to see you."

"I'm sorry about that Veronica. I guess that since we are a couple, I should have changed things so that you would be doing what Grace does. It's been so quick us getting together that I guess I missed the point where it should have been changed."

"That's okay, Gerald. I know how close you two are and we're not engaged even though we seemed to be working up to it. It's okay. Really!"

"So how are we now, Veronica? It's weird but after that surgery, I'm a woman on the inside now. I'm going by Gerrie to everyone right now and some where down the road I guess I'll have to pick out a new name. Eventually I'm going to have to be a woman on the outside too for my own sanity. Are you going to be able to be with a woman?"

"Gerrie, I guess I didn't want to face it even though I knew what had happened to you. I care deeply about you but I'm not a lesbian. We can't be a couple anymore. I am so sorry. I want to make it up to you by helping you adjust to your new life and being your friend. I still love you but that love is taking a different form now."

"Ronnie, I understand. Really I do. I love you too. I really value your friendship. I'm going to need your help if I ever hope to get this right."

"Gerrie, you are going to make a wonderful woman. Just being this understanding about me, tells me that you really are a woman now. I'm sorry what we had is over. However, I am excited by the possibilities of you being my friend."

"Thank you Ronnie. Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

"For now, but the next time I feel lost about what a man is thinking, I'm going to want to pick your brain."

"Unfortunately, even though I may know what a man might have thought in the past, any thoughts I have now are as a woman. I'm not sure how much use I'll be since some of my own memories are a mystery to me what I might have been thinking."

"Trust me, any insight, however flawed, would be better than the total void of information I have now. I'll go get Grace for you. Be well, Gerrie."

"I'll do my best, Ronnie. Thank you. All my hopes for you." Veronica left and I breathed a sigh of relief. Grace was soon back by my bedside.

"How are you doing, Gerrie?"

"Surprisingly well, Grace. Ronnie and I have broken up but we are still friends. She wants to help me and thinks that maybe I can help her understand men. I'll do my best but I'm not sure how well I'll do with that now."

There was a knock at the door and in walked Trevor Morgan, who was my contact with the newspaper.

"Gerald, I was distressed to hear of your heart attack. Hi Grace. How are you really, Gerald?"

"The heart attack was the tip of the iceberg. They discovered that I had a brain tumor and I've had surgery to remove it. The thing is that tumor was emulating a male brain structure, without it my brain is female. That makes me a transwoman and eventually I'll need treatment to match my body with my new mind."

"Wow, that's heavy Gerald. Are you really a woman now?"

"Yes, I am, Trevor. You can call me Gerrie"

"Gerrie, I have all the data on sources and evidence for your story from the last time that you sent it which was, evidently, just before your heart attack. We are really close to getting everything we need for the story."

"I agree that we are just about there. Just a little more time with the good old boys and a little more time with the Department's computer system and I can wrap this up with a big beautiful red bow."

"Gee, Gerrie. That's not something you would have said before. I guess I am convinced that you really are a woman now."

"That's why I have to watch myself and get out of here as soon as I can to finish up. I can't see them opening up before Gerrie the transwoman like they have before Gerald."

"I'll pass this on to Ms. Jamison, our editor. You know that the paper embraces diversity and you'll be welcomed back warmly. You may even get a promotion to the editorial staff between your great work in the field and your new perspective on life. That will make you very much in demand and the newspaper will want to keep you happy."

"Well I never had any intention of trying to take advantage of becoming a transwoman, but once I wrap up the story, I fully will embrace the experience for my own good. Any perks I get as a result are just icing on the cake."

"Can you do it? Can you finish the story in your condition?"

"The longer I get away from the surgery, the harder it is to act completely the way I used to act as a man. I'm going on inertia but eventually that will run out. With me being able to get an early release from the hospital, I should be able to be back to work soon enough to continue acting as a man for long enough to finish things up."

"I'll pass on your assurance to Ms. Jamison. We'll talk again when you have something new to report. Get well soon. Gerrie"

"Thank you, Trevor. I'm going to get well and I look forward to chatting soon."

"Bye, Grace!"

"Take care, Trevor"

Trevor turned around and left as quickly as he came in and soon there was just Grace and I left in the room again.

"That was interesting, Gerrie. You've had a busy day. How are you physically?"

"I'm fading fast, Grace. I hope that next time I get to see you, I'm recovered enough to get more than a air kiss."

"I look forward to that as well, Gerrie. Bye for now!"

"Bye Grace!" Grace blew me an air kiss and left out the door while I turned over on my side and fell asleep.

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