The Society 4/?

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The Society 4/?
by:
Lilith Langtree


Kevin was a average slacker high school graduate living in a nowhere town with no prospects of a decent future. When an opportunity came to go to college on a full ride, he knew that he would do anything to make sure his second chance wasn't wasted.

Author's Note: Here's something that I've been working on for the last few months, on and off. I've got a few chapters finished, but it's more of a serial than a story that will take a while to complete. Photo Credit: Amye E.

Episode Four

Spring semester didn’t resume until January seventeenth. I was there on the ninth, two Mondays before, making sure everything was in its place and to make any last minute additions. I met with the contractor and Mrs. Burke’s personal assistant to do a walkthrough.

The house was fairly large, being an old style plantation home with twelve rooms for students upstairs. That meant that it could house up to twenty-four students doubled up. My room was downstairs near the front in what used to be an entertainment room of some sort. I also had a small office next door for official business.

My bedroom was almost twice the size of the one at the apartment and I nearly teared up at the décor. Everything was so fancy and old style turn of the twentieth century antiques. I had a canopy bed, a large dresser with an equally large mirror on the back, a beautiful armoire, a large cedar chest at the end of the bed full of quilts and bed linens, a walk in closet, and my own bathroom with an old fashion claw-footed tub.

Mrs. Burke apparently spared no expense to make me comfortable, all for doing something that I’d be happy to do in the first place, being feminine and encouraging it in others.

She was extremely happy to find out about my talk with Amanda, Brandon’s friend growing up. After talking to me at the party, she wound up calling me for Mrs. Burke’s number so she could get her permission use my idea at her college. She was immediately referred back to me as the Society Club was all my idea, apparently. We must have talked for hours while I told her how everything came to life and how we went about gathering members. At the end, I hoped she succeeded, if for no other reason than to take a little responsibility off of my shoulders.

School had to take the number one position in my list of priorities. Every month since I started, the Society had taken up more and more of my time, but to me, it was a very important endeavor. It made me who I was. Scheduling had been very important and I had to stick to it considering it took me almost an entire day to figure out how to balance my life.

For the rest of the week, I made some purchases for all sixteen girls that would be joining me at Society House. It was nothing major, but it was personal. A large artificial flower arrangement in each room with a personal note attached. I knew every girl somewhat and related something about their lives into each message. I knew nothing about flower arranging, but with the assistance of one of the people at the shop where I made my purchases, I was able to put together some nice bouquets.

Friday came, and with it I knew my boyfriend would be moving back into his apartment and visiting me. I took special care in looking as attractive an inviting as I could with a red long sleeve sheath dress that hugged my manufactured curves. My pumps were black, sleek, and had five inch heels which were the highest I’d ever dared yet. It would almost make me eye level with Brandon and they stretched out my calves and thighs to maximize my best assets.

Around two o’clock was when he arrived, ringing the bell in the small alcove at the front of the house. From my room to the door, I submerged my conscious into pure unadulterated femininity, making my hips sway just a touch more, putting a not-quite sexy strut into my walk, and a carefree attitude to the sway of my arms. By the time I answered the door I was as good as I could get.

“Well, hello stranger,” I said with a tiny bit of breath added to my voice.

Brandon paused, taking me in. “Every time I see you, you’re more beautiful.”

I smiled with appreciation and kissed him lightly, not wanting to ruin my makeup just yet.

“Welcome to Society House. Would you like a tour?”

“Anywhere you lead, I’ll follow.”

There was a teasing sound to his voice and it was making me want to just pull him into my room and forget the tour. However, I had some teasing of my own to dish out.

We went from room to room, downstairs to show him everything Mrs. Burke wanted included, and he was impressed at how comfortable it all was. Along the way, I would touch him on the shoulder at the arm. At one point I even ran my nails at the nape of his neck which elicited a shiver and make it difficult for my boyfriend to move on to the next area.

“And lastly we have my room.” Turning around I held up a finger. “You have to promise that nobody will know you’ve seen it. Boys aren’t officially allowed in any of the girl’s rooms, but seeing as how the new semester hasn’t started yet, I think it’ll be okay.”

He held up three fingers. “Scouts honor.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You were a scout?”

Brandon nodded. “Eagle Scout.”

I grinned and let my eyes trail down his body to a certain area that was visibly tenting. “Always prepared I see.”

~O~

About an hour later we emerged from my bedroom and I had such a smile on my face that I thought it would be permanently etched there. We’d taken things slow and easy. I gave him plenty of breaks and made sure I didn’t push him past the point of no return like I did at his house on New Years Eve.

He took me out to dinner that night, and we discussed everyday things. It was just so nice to be with him that I wanted to melt into a puddle. Silly, I know, but that was the way he made me feel.

“I almost forgot,” he said at the end of the evening in the alcove of Society House.

His hand went into the pocket of his slacks and he produced his fraternity pin. “Would you do me the honor of wearing my pin?”

I grabbed it and then threw my arms around his neck, giving him more of a kiss than was acceptable in public, but since it was semi-private and a special occasion I deemed it permissible.

My left hand, hidden by our angle to the outside, trailed down to stroke his chest lightly. “I really wish boys were allowed in after dark. I’d thank you properly.”

Brandon’s eyes half closed at my touch. “Maybe tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.

“The girls start arriving in the morning,” I said with a cute pout. “I’ll probably be busy all day. Sunday perhaps?”

“Definitely.”

“I can’t wait,” I breathed into his mouth as I reached up just a touch for a final kiss.

By the time I’d made it to my bathroom to run hot water into the tub, I was a mess. Need coursed through my veins at holding myself back from Brandon during our little tryst on my bed. It was then that I understood why certain girls gave up their virginity before marriage.

Stripping out of my heels and dress, I hung it to the side for the dry cleaners. My panties were straining and slightly damp from my own minor emissions. I only desperately wished that something else was in its place.

Filling a sink up, I poured a little Woolite into the water and submerged my panties so they wouldn’t have a stain later. While I waited for the water in the tub to fill, I used the adhesive remover to dislodge my breast and hip forms. When I was finished, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and pain shot through my heart.

Standing there was an overly effeminate boy wearing makeup. His member was at attention, bald and not overly impressive.

“Why can’t you just go away?”

Turning from the sight, I pinned my hair up and shut off the water before climbing into the perfumed bath, relishing in the feel of it flowing over my sensitive skin. Once I was submerged, hiding all the offending parts, I was able to relax again.

After soaking for a good ten minutes, I used a loofah to exfoliate my skin, especially at my hips and chest. Being covered almost all the time wasn’t really good for it, so I took special pains to make sure it was treated right when I went through this routine ever two weeks. After finishing that I noticed my chest was very red and my nipples overly sensitive.

I had no delusions that I was growing breasts — I wish. The condition was from being hidden away for so long and then treated to a rough scrub afterward. It happened every time I did this. I did notice that the skin seemed a little looser than normal, most likely stretched from wearing breast forms all the time.

Once I was finished with that I used a pouf to scrub down everything else, emptied the bath, rinsed off and applied lotion to my body. It was pretty much my nightly routine.

When I sat down in front of my antique makeup mirror to braid my hair, I frowned. My original intention after my date with Brandon was to go straight inside and masturbate my frustrations away. However, after seeing that so typical boy-like erection all desire went away. I wasn’t sure it was natural, but considering the disgust I felt at seeing it, I accepted that was the reason and tried my best not to question it any longer.

Besides, my first appointment with my psychiatrist was on Tuesday. Maybe I could ask her about it.

The routine I started last week was coming to an end. I donned my evening gown and a warm robe before making the rounds to ensure all the windows and doors were secure before retiring to my bedroom to wash the makeup off my face, moisturize, and crawl into bed for a dream filled sleep.

The next morning, I was up early since it was going to be a busy day. While I wasn’t going to be moving anything for anyone, I was going to be in and out most of the day, with the front door wide open, so I opted for something on the warm side. A tight weave long sleeve cashmere top, and asymmetrical leopard print skirt, some thick snuggly warm tights and low heeled ankle boots — only two inches.

I went from room to room turning on the lights, opening the curtains and making the place as inviting as I could. I wanted Society House to be a place where girls could be girls with a feeling of safety and beauty around them. How better to encourage the lifestyle?

Once that was finished, I made two carafes of coffee and set out a variety of teas, cookies, and sodas for the men that I assumed would be doing the heavy work. They’re much more motivated to do a good job if they were appreciated along the way. While most everything, in terms of furniture was provided for the girls, I knew some of them would bring things that would make their rooms homier. That’s where the men came in. It was also only the first of two times that any male of the species would be allowed upstairs, at the beginning and end of the semester, for moving purposes only.

Downstairs was a different matter, which I’ll go into later.

By the time I’d finished setting up the snacks, I turned on some music that was piped through the entire house, nothing loud or with words even. It wasn’t quite Muzak, but it was close, and also a onetime thing. I wanted the parents to think that we were going to be good little girls. While it wasn’t far from the truth, for the most part, I was betting that same stereo system would be blaring pop music by nightfall as we had some fun.

The first of many trucks and SUVs backed in to the parking area out front and I was at the door before anyone’s knuckles were hurt in the cold weather. Why does everything hurt so much when it’s cold? I can’t even stand knocking on someone’s door.

Avery was the first through the door as we screamed at each other in joy of finally living under the same roof. Even though she was in a sorority she didn’t have to stay in their house like most of the girls chose to do. But Avery was almost my second in command, going out of her way to help however she could. It was only her that loved the Society as much as I did. While the others helped a lot, it was more of a lifestyle choice for them as opposed to a way of life.

They sound the same, but they aren’t even close.

Avery and I love being girls and we go to extreme measures to be as feminine as humanly possible. She was the only other girl that hadn’t worn a pair of jeans since she started. If there was someone that I truly wanted to be my sister in blood, it was her.

I envied her lush black hair that fell just below her shoulder blades and her firm but full body. She was a very curvy girl with round breasts and a heart shaped bottom that I longed to have as my own. There was a time that I would have yearned to be with a girl like her and while I could appreciate her value as a girlfriend, being my best friend was more fulfilling.

It was Hannah that I had a mild crush on. She was more athletic, tall, trim, small-breasted, thin hips, and the prettiest face. The idea that she was the least feminine of my inner group wasn’t lost on me. She embodied the best of the feminine and masculine worlds which drove me crazy sometimes, but what could I do. Brandon was the center of my little love life world and would remain so for a while at least.

“The place looks great!” Avery nearly squealed as she rushed around trying to take everything in at once. “I can’t believe it’s actually happening!”

A guy that I had to assume was her dad walked through the door lugging two suitcases in each hand, looking at his daughter with a raised eyebrow.

“Where do you want these, pumpkin.”

I pointed to the grand staircase in front of him that separated to the left and right near the top. “Up the stairs, first door on the left, sir. Would you like a coffee when you’re through unloading everything?”

He smiled at me. “That would be appreciated. Just black is fine. I’ve got two more loads to run first.”

My eyes went wide at how much Avery had brought with her. I thought I was a clothes hound.

When she turned back up at the front I told her about where her room was. She squeaked and ran upstairs.

A big full-bodied Hummer pulled up next. It wasn’t like those little ones, but more like something that the military carried, except it wasn’t camo colored. A girl dropped out the side that I swear I didn’t recognize. I kept trying to figure out who she was.

She had light brown hair to her shoulders that I could tell was recently colored, and her clothing almost matched mine: skirt, tights, and ankle boots. She looked a little uncomfortable, and nervous as she spoke to an older guy, again probably her father.

When she turned to the house her face lit up a little as she saw me. It wasn’t until she was to the front steps that I finally figure out who she was.

“Carrie?”

Her grin widened and I nearly dropped on the spot. The last time I saw her she was pierced a dozen times in the face, with black hair, dark makeup, and the worst clothes.

“Oh, my gosh! Look at you!”

I rushed up and gave her a welcoming hug.

“Hi, Kayla. Thanks for having me.”

I giggled. “Are you kidding? I’m glad to. You look absolutely fabulous by the way. Excellent taste in wardrobe today I must say.”

She looked at what I was wearing and then down to her outfit before she giggled as well. Her father came up a few moments later along with a guy that looked a few years older than Carrie. It was the younger one that was lugging a large traveling trunk.

“Carrie’s room is at the top of the stairs to the right, second door on the right.”

He gave me a nod and went by as Carrie’s father stopped in front of me.

“You’re Kayla?”

I nodded. “Yes sir, Mr. Williams. Would you care for a cup of coffee, we have tea or sodas also if you’re interested.”

It looked like I’d cut him off before a practiced speech or something since his mouth snapped closed. “Coffee would be good, thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure sir, right this way.”

Carrie was right by my side as we entered and went over to the table where I had everything set up. We passed Avery’s father on the way out for round two as I heard another squeak from upstairs. Apparently Avery loved the place.

I pumped a cup of coffee out and Mr. Williams took it black as well. What is it with guys and their aversion to sugar with their coffee?

“Thank you, Kayla. Carrie, why don’t you go see your room while I speak to your friend.”

She nodded and headed upstairs. When she was out of sight, Mr. Williams looked at me. “You’re not what I expected, but then again I don’t know what else you would have looked like. Thank you for giving me back my little girl.”

I shook my head with a clueless look on my face. “Honestly, Mr. Williams. I don’t know what I said or did that would have that much of a change on her. We just talked.”

He sipped at the coffee and looked at it for a moment. “Regardless, she credits you and I am in your debt.”

Remembering the check he gave to Mrs. Burke, I had to disagree. “Your donation was thanks enough. It’s already made a big difference in how we’re doing things here at Society House.”

He looked around, obviously pleased with how everything looked. “I think this will be a much better environment for her and you’ll be a good role model. Can I count on you?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Excellent.” When he set his cup and saucer aside, he retrieved a business card and handed it to me. “If you need anything for this place, you call me. My private number is on there. I mean it… anything. Though it looks as if you’re off to a good start.”

He nodded once to me and returned to the front of his car while Carrie’s brother retuned for another load.

“I hope he didn’t say anything to make you mad?”

Looking over my shoulder, I saw Carrie at the foot of the stairs. Waving her over, I slipped my hand around her waist and pulled her close for a little hug.

“He’s just happy for you and offered his help if we needed anything.”

“Good. I’m glad he’s doing something with his money besides…” She trailed off and I didn’t press the matter, but felt that she wanted more privacy before saying anything more.

“After dinner tonight, come to my room if you want to talk.”

She looked up at me. Seeing as she was just a little over five feet in height it was almost like she was my little sister. “Thanks. I’ll do that.”

With another squeeze I shooed her off. “Go on. Have some fun. School starts soon enough.”

~O~

So it went. I met everyone and their fathers or brothers that brought them to Society House. By late in the afternoon, I was bushed, but still had duties to perform.

Mrs. Burke allowed a few private parties that were catered, mostly for holidays and the start of school. Once everyone was served and found a seat, I pulled out a checklist of topics to cover.

“As all of you know me, I’ll dispense with the introductions.”

“Go Kayla!” Avery yelled from the back.

“Or not,” I said. “You’ve all had a chance to look over the SPFV and Society charter and signed off on it, but I think a few items bear repeating just to cement it into your mind. You wouldn’t be here unless you haven’t embraced what we all are at our core, feminine women. So there aren’t going to be demerits, or warnings, or points, or whatever other award and debits system you can think of. We’re going to treat each other as we would a treasured sister.”

I looked out amongst the girls and saw a few smiles at the thought.

“That means if you notice something out of place, please be polite and point it out constructively. If you have any doubts about clothes, accessories, behavior, questions about handling a situation, anything at all regarding femininity you may ask me or Avery, as she is just as knowledgeable as I am. In turn, when new girls arrive, you can be a role model for them.”

“Where did you get that skirt,” Kimberly asked. “Because, wow.”

I smiled. “Ann Taylor, and the boots from Nine West.”

“Now, as to the house rules…”

~O~

I fielded a couple dozen questions after that and then had a chance to eat while the girls got to know one another. Someone, probably Avery switched the music to pop, turned it up, and there was a little dancing involved until the night started winding down.

After cleaning up we each went our separate ways. I made sure everything was locked up tight and went to my room. An hour later a soft knock sounded. When I opened my door, Carrie was standing there, freshly showered, in a robe and holding a punked-out pink and black teddy bear. I smiled at the picture and let her in.

“Oh wow, your room rocks.”

I shrugged. “The perks of being First Lady. Come on, we can set up on the bed.”

After turning off all the lights except for the ones on either side of the bed, I joined her on top of the covers. Carrie’s face was flushing, I assumed from a mild case of embarrassment. She picked at the teddy for a few moments and looked like she wanted to talk, but didn’t know where to start.

“Carrie?” When she looked up at me, I just smiled softly. “We can just hang out if you want. You don’t have to say a word.”

I watched as her eyes glassed. “Why are you so nice to me?”

It was a strange question. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re just as human as I am. We all have feelings.”

“Did you know who my dad is… when we met, I mean.”

More strange questions. “Honey, I still don’t know who your dad is. I get the feeling he’s rich and he cares for you, but beyond that…”

I watched as two tears made their way down her face. “He’s Dominic Williams of Williams Defense.”

I still didn’t have a clue.

“Major league defense contractors for the DOD.”

“Okay,” I said. Politics and world events were never my strong suit.

“You really don’t know?”

I shook my head.

She smiled and wiped at her face. “Good. He thought you might, but didn’t know for sure. My brother thinks you know exactly who my family is and was making friends with me for…”

Reaching over I took her hand, which was wringing the arm of her bear. “Honey, for seventeen years, I lived in my little self-absorbed slacker world. I didn’t care about anything other than the next new video game and whether or not my mom had bought enough Mountain Dew to last me the week. Until I got involved in the Society and came to college, I didn’t know what I was missing.”

I shrugged and caressed her hand. “It sounds a little cultish, but it’s just had that big of a change in me. I swear you wouldn’t recognize who I was a year ago and the person I’ve become today. They’re two totally different people. So, you’ll have to take my word about not knowing anything about you or your family until we met last semester. Even then I just knew what you told me.”

“You were a gamer-chick?”

I grinned and leaned back. “Oh yeah. Xbox was my life.”

“I really can’t picture you sitting in front of a TV with a controller in your hands.”

Waving my fingers up, I tilted my head to the side. “That was before I grew my nails out. I’d hate to see what I’d do with the latest Halo or Dragon Age. Look…” I showed her my thumbs. “You can barely see the calluses from my years of depravity. My manicurist was horrified when I first went in to get them done.”

Carrie giggled as she looked real close. “Yep, you were a gamer-chick.”

She looked a little relieved at my past misdeeds. “My thing was piercings, obviously.”

Looking for the telltale marks, I couldn’t find a single one. She must have used really good concealer.

“I got them to piss off… oh sorry. I know we’re not supposed to cuss. It still slips through though,” she confessed.

“It’ll take a while. I still do it in my head occasionally. As long as you notice it and make an effort to stop you’re doing good.”

She nodded and I thought she was really cute when she blushed. “Anyway, I got them to… um, tick off my dad. He’s never home and… ugh, I’m a cliché. Poor little rich girl with daddy issues.”

“You’re human, Carrie. You’re not a cliché. Did it work? Did you get his attention?”

She shrugged. “Mostly negative. He’d throw money at me thinking that was what I wanted. So I used it to go out and do everything that I knew he hated. Piercings, tattoos, PVC and leather clothes, bad boyfriends, a venereal disease, alcohol, another venereal disease, and the list goes on. Luckily there was nothing fatal or anything a shot of penicillin couldn’t cure.”

Carrie blinked and then looked up at me, almost terrified at what she just said. I held up my hands. “That was the past. I don’t care about the past, Carrie. Are you still drinking and having sex?”

She shook her head. “No… I… when I left school, I went home and asked Dad to put me into detox. I took all my piercings out of my face and other places and stayed there all last semester, saw a shrink, did annoying group therapy, the whole bit. Then I came out at the beginning of December and told dad about you and the Society and that I wanted to join.”

After a sad giggle and another wipe at the tears on her face she continued.

“He took a vacation for the first time in five years and we did a little bit of everything together… and the rest is… well, what it is.”

Even my eyes were starting to well up at her confession. “Can you tell me what it is that I did?” I asked. “So maybe I could bottle it up and pass it around?”

Carrie laughed out loud and sniffed as I reached for some tissue at the bedside. After she blew her nose she shook her head. “I don’t know what it was. I just saw you and how well put together you were. You were so sure of yourself, confident. You believed in something and wanted to share it without anything for yourself. That was it.”

After a moment she added something else. “I wanted your life. I wanted to be you right then. My psychiatrist says that you were a catalyst or whatever of my desires for my life, that I should strive to find out who I really am and be me.”

I nodded. “Sounds like good advice.”

“I’m trying, but either way, I’m using you as a role model, if you don’t mind that is.”

My throat closed up at the lump that was forming there. “I can think of better people that…”

“I can’t.”

The thought that someone out there in the world wanted to be like me was almost ridiculous. If Carrie knew the true meaning about what she was saying I seriously doubted that she’d want to be me anymore.

“You’re uncomfortable,” she said. “I’m making you uncomfortable. I don’t want to do that.”

“I’m just a girl, Carrie.”

“I won’t be weird about it. I promise not to stalk you or anything. I just want to be confident. I want to know what it’s like to be in charge of my life for once.”

My brows furrowed. “What can I do to help?”

She clammed up at that. I was betting she thought I wasn’t going to agree. “Um… can you go shopping with me? Or maybe come upstairs and look though my stuff. My mom bought all of it for me and I don’t know if it’s really me.”

I smiled. “I like your style so far, but you’re right. You need your own. Sure. I’d be more than happy to help you in that way. It’ll have to be next weekend though. I’ve got a pretty busy week planned with school and stuff.”

Carrie bounced on the bed and lunged at me, grabbing me in the tightest hug. “Thank you, Kayla. Thank you so much. I told Dad that you’d do it. I knew it. You’re just a good person.”

Somehow I thought I’d fallen into someone’s well planned scheme. When she pulled back, she reached into her robe and pulled out a small manila envelope and held it out to me.

“He said to give this to you if you agreed.”

I licked my lips, kind of nervously and tore open the top. Inside was a smaller envelope with something hard inside and a letter addressed to me.

Kayla —

If you have possession of this message then you’ve agreed to help my daughter to discover herself. One of the requests from Carrie was that I not “throw money at her” anymore. In lieu of that there is nobody nearby to tend to her needs. Enclosed is a credit card issued under your name to fulfill her needs. Her mother has seen to it she has the basics to survive a couple of weeks. I’ll leave it to you and my daughter to decide anything extra that is needed.

This very important service you are providing is not without compensation for your time. I will return to retrieve my daughter for Spring Break at the end of March. We will discuss what your service is worth at that time.

You have my thanks again.

Regards-

Domenic Williams.

I smirked and then looked up at Carrie. “I see what you mean about him throwing money around.”

She rolled her eyes. “What’s in the other one?”

That envelope wasn’t sealed. When I opened it, I pulled out a Platinum American Express card. Of course. And there it was, my name on the front. It was something I didn’t think I’d ever see, considering my family’s income level.

“I’m supposed to use this for whatever we need to buy for you.”

“Oh… cool.”

That was it? Cool? I felt like I was her surrogate parent or something. Handing the card over, Carrie’s eyes widened and she held up her hands to ward it off.

“That’s yours.”

“Carrie, I can’t. It’s not mine, not really.”

She shook her head. “If I have it, then I’ll use it. That’s why Daddy gave it to you and put it in your name.”

At my less than convinced look, she clarified.

“If you want to see me looking like I did last semester…”

Pressing my lips together, my hand dropped and I sighed. “Okay, but we only use it for your wardrobe and then I send it back to him, or cut it up or something.”

“Why don’t you just give it back to him on Spring Break when he comes?”

My attention drifted to the bathroom while I remembered the sight of the feminine boy looking back at me in the mirror. “It’s a long story, but I’d be just as tempted to use it as you are.”

Carrie had a hopeful look on her face that let me know she was interested in hearing my woeful tale.

“Suffice to say, I’m not rich and I have need for a large amount of money.” Listening to what I just said, I amended the statement. “And I’m not going to accept charity or take any for helping one of my sisters in a way that I’d want to be helped.”

“How large are we talking about?”

I smiled and set the card and letter aside. “I’m not going to say, Carrie. It’s a concerning a very private and personal issue…”

Her shoulders dropped and I watched as she visibly deflated. “And you barely know me. I understand.”

“It’s not that. Even Avery doesn’t know and she’s pretty much my best friend.”

We were quiet for a few moments before she looked back up at me. “My psychiatrist says that we’re supposed to share our problems to make it easier on ourselves. Can you at least talk to someone about it?”

Reaching out I touched the back of her hand, patting it. “My boyfriend knows and my family knows.”

“Good.”

~O~

Sunday morning, I woke up and saw the plastic card laying on my nightstand, taunting me. Before I was tempted, I grabbed it and stowed it in my small jewelry box, underneath the removable bottom, well out of sight and hopefully out of mind soon enough.

At breakfast, the girls started trickling in, sifting through all the microwavable and less than healthy things that their residency payment provided for them. The Society only required two-thirds of the payment as the college did, for a much better living area. It was incentive to live the way we encouraged. That money went to snack foods, toward utilities and upkeep of the house. You’d be surprised how much it costs to take care of what was basically a small mansion. It wasn’t cheap.

When the majority of them were awake and semi-coherent I was on my second cup of coffee and finishing up my fruit salad.

Sandy, one of the girls that wasn’t part of my inner circle, got my attention by sitting next to me.

“Hey Kayla? There was a calendar on the back of my door that said something about makeovers today?”

A few heads popped up in curiosity and I grinned. “Ten o’clock, if you’re interested. Some of the girls here aren’t really all that experienced with what it takes to look your best. I have some professionals coming in to show you how to tweak things.”

“Seriously?” she said?

I nodded. “It won’t cost you a dime and you get a manicure, a pedicure, a personal consultation with a makeup specialist, free samples, and a gift basket courtesy of Mrs. Burke, the founder of the SPFV. Next Sunday I’m bringing in hair stylists.”

Avery leaned over from behind me and kissed my cheek. “Isn’t she the best?”

Carrie, a few seats down on my left, looked up at me, smiled, and then ducked her head afterward.

Kimberly, another new recruit, looked stunned. “They’re coming here and teaching us? That’s got to be expensive.”

With a resigned nod, I stood and picked up my empty bowl. “We had a very nice donation that Mrs. Burke passed on to me from a thankful benefactor. That’s what makes it possible. Anything I can do to make you feel less stressful about experimenting on your appearance, I’ll do it.”

It was a tough job for some of them who were used to just coasting by like my sister. Some of their ideas of dressing up consisted of adding blue eye shadow to their regime and that was it. Plus we had a few — how can I say this without sounding like jerk — less than beautiful members. The Society wasn’t some eights or better on a scale of ten on the beauty scale. I didn’t discriminate, but some girls were definitely going to need more work than others.

“Just to warn you, I informed the consultants that they needed to be brutally honest, but constructive about what each of you might need. Trust me; everyone has something that they’re horrified about. If it makes you feel any better about the situation, I had a facial hair problem that had to be dealt with.”

A Hispanic girl, Anna, who had a light mustache problem, snapped her eyes at me. “Really?”

I nodded. “I was so embarrassed when it was pointed out, but they showed me how to deal with it and I’m very happy they did.”

~O~

The makeovers were the biggest hit. It’s one thing to go to the salon and partake of their services there, but to have them do it in the comfort of your own home was another thing altogether. It was much more relaxed and they took their time with each person without the distractions of having to move their customer from one area to another because other customers were waiting.

Once we were finished, I headed over to my sister’s apartment to return a pair of earrings that I’d managed not to give back. I didn’t want her coming to me and claiming that I stole them, which given her attitude over the last school year, was a distinct possibility. The trouble was, I had to walk.

It’s all part of college life. Even if the students were to bring their own cars, there was limited parking space unless you knew the right people and were able to acquire the proper parking permits. Plus, I wasn’t exactly rolling in money. Everything I had was dedicated to a specific purpose, and my spending money was limited to about forty dollars a week.

When I finally got there, I noticed Daddy’s SUV out front and took advantage of the situation. I waited by the back.

“Kayla,” he said in mild surprise when he rounded the vehicle and saw me sitting on the back.

“Hey, Daddy.” I gave him a hug and then handed off the earrings. “Would you mind giving these to Kelsey and tell her I forgot to return them?”

He looked down at me, mildly disappointed. “You really need to make up with your sister. It’s not good for family to be at odds.”

With a shrug I looked back that the open door. “When she apologizes for being a bi… rude to me for virtually all of last semester then I’ll forgive her. I’m tired of being the only one that is nice all the time. I’m not letting anyone walk all over me anymore.”

Daddy sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“It’s not your job anymore. She’s an adult. Just… just give her the earrings, please. I have to go. I’m meeting Brandon.”

Leaning in he kissed my cheek. “Have a good semester, honey.”

“Thanks, Daddy. Bye.”

Skirting around several cars, I cut between one of the alleyways between buildings and climbed to the second floor before knocking on the door to my boyfriend’s apartment.

Austin opened it up and gave me the once over. “He’s not here. Something came up with his family.”

I frowned. “Are they okay?”

He shrugged. “It’s something to do with his brother and his boyfriend. I don’t know. You want to come in?”

With a shake of my head I declined. “Would you mind just telling him I came by?”

“No problem.”

With an absentminded nod, I turned around and headed for the stairs.

“Hey, Kayla,” said Austin.

Looking over my shoulder, I stopped.

“I was gonna order a pizza… if you’re not doing anything.”

Truthfully, I needed a break. I’d been going non-stop for two weeks trying to make sure everything was perfect for the grand unveiling. That’s why I wanted to meet up with my boyfriend, so we could lounge and maybe partake of a little cuddle. Having pizza sounded perfect, plus, free food!

I smiled. “That sounds great.”

He stood back and swept an arm inside.

“Kick off your heels and grab a seat. I’ll make some drinks.”

Ridding myself of the heels sounded great as well. They were four inch high booties that I’d worn to look nice for Brandon, but the walk over to his apartment wasn’t exactly what they were made for and my toes were feeling a little squished. Once I was free, I wiggled my toes underneath the dark tights I was wearing and figured I’d lounge on Brandon’s chair.

It took me a second to figure out how to sit without flashing my skirt’s contents to the room, and wound up tucking my feet to the side and resting my body to the other.

Austin returned a few minutes later with a soda for us. I sipped on mine and winced at the taste as it burned its way down my throat.

“Is there booze in this?”

He grinned. “Just a little to take away the chill. I promise I won’t get you drunk so I can take advantage of you.”

Setting it aside I shook my head. “I don’t drink, Austin.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch. “You really need to relax. You’re far too uptight. There’s just a half a shot of whiskey in there. Chill.”

I frowned at the glass again, but knew the odds of me getting drunk off half a shot of liquor were minute. “Just the one drink and then back to the regular stuff?”

Austin nodded. “See, you’re not a fem-bot.”

“I was never a fem-bot. I just like being a girl.”

~O~

Our conversation moved on to how our winter break went and what we’d been doing for the previous week. By that time the pizza arrived and I was in cheesy heaven for about fifteen minutes.

“So, have you two…” said Austin as he pantomimed a fist pushing forward, the international sign of having sex.

I giggled. “I think you’ve had too much to drink. Good girls don’t kiss and tell.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not telling either and he’s been a serious pain in my butt since he’s arrived.”

“Really?” I sat my crust down on the plate in front of me before finishing off my second drink which was not laced with whiskey.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he had a case of blue balls.”

I winced. “Oh.”

Austin smirked like he’d confirmed his thoughts. “Just some advice, Kayla: this whole Society thing you have going? It’s cute and all. Most hetero men like girls dressing up and being innocent and helpless, but when it comes down to it, they’ll look elsewhere if they’re not getting certain needs met.”

Leaning back against the chair I frowned. “I can’t, even if I wanted to, which I’m still not sure about anyway. I could lose my scholarship, and if it’s a toss-up between sex and an education, sex is going to lose.”

The conversation came to an abrupt halt as I was thinking things through and Austin was polishing off the last of the pizza and watching me with a critical eye.

When he swallowed and wiped his hands with a napkin I prepared myself for the worst.

“You’re saying you haven’t had any since you started all this up?”

I shook my head. “Since before.”

He whistled low. It was either and impressed whistle or a sympathetic one. They’re quite similar in tone. “I thought I had it rough going a few weeks without.”

How in the heck did I get into this conversation with him?

“Then what about the other girls in your club. You know they’re doing other things, right?”

I wasn’t blind or stupid. “Yes… but I… I don’t.” With a sigh I groaned. “I don’t know if I could do that. I haven’t even seen another guy’s… you know, outside of a locker room, much less touched one.”

Austin chuckled. “Sweetheart, just do what comes natural.”

Reaching over, I grabbed my booties and started pulling them on. I didn’t like talking about this subject, especially with Austin. If it was Brandon then that would be different.

“I better go.”

He rolled his eyes. “You can run away from the problem, Kayla, and it will be a problem, very soon. Take my word for it.”

Once I zipped up one bootie I looked up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Austin closed up the pizza box and started cleaning up. “Brandon had a regular source for over a year. He’s never gone a few weeks without, and that was during holidays. At school he’s used to it three or four times a week. He’s been without ever since October. I can tell you he’s reaching his breaking point.”

He shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, shit or get off the pot, girlfriend. Either that or don’t be all surprised and outraged when he strays.”

My first impulse was to defend Brandon’s honor, but everything Austin was saying hit a little too close to home. Instead of refuting his comments, I zipped up my other boot and stood.

“Thanks for the pizza.”

The look on his face held something akin to pity for me and I knew I had to get out of there or listen to how holding true to my values was going to destroy my first real relationship with a boy.

Austin walked me to the door and gave me a parting thought. “I know you’re new to the scene. If you need some advice on how to do anything, then give me a call.”

I looked back at him, searching for some hidden lascivious meaning behind his words, but there was nothing there but honesty.

“I’m just saying, Brandon is… uh, knowledgeable and he’s not small or average for that matter. It can be pretty daunting especially for someone just starting off.”

No duh. I was almost terrified at the thought.

“Have you and he…?” I said, not really wanting to hear a positive answer.

Austin grinned. “I’m a top and he’s not my type, too masculine; besides, he has this thing for you.”

I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was to hear that. It was pretty hypocritical of me not caring about how many girls Brandon had been with or exactly the way he had, but the thought of him being with Austin made me queasy. I didn’t know exactly why. I mean Austin is a cute guy, don’t get me wrong. I was obviously deranged and most probably brain damaged. Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child. That would explain so much.

~O~

When I returned to Society House I noted a few girls still in the lounge trying all manner of makeup on each other like they were thirteen and had just been gifted with their first ever pallet of eye shadow. It made me somewhat jealous that I’d never had that opportunity as a child.

“You’re back?”

I looked up, to the top of the stairs to see Carrie standing there with a hopeful look on her face, and nodded.

“My appointment was canceled at the last minute,” I said. “Do you want to go through your stuff while I have a couple of free hours?”

“Yes!” Her eyes sparkled and she pumped her fist in the air.

It was difficult to be morose when there was someone out there looking for any chance to be in your company.

As I ascended the stairs I realized that I was depressed at Brandon’s absence without so much as a phone call to let me know what was going on. He was usually better mannered than that. It made me wonder if something really bad had happened to make him forget. I was tempted to call him, but thought it better if I didn’t. Who knows what he was doing or if he was stressed enough to make a bad decision, like answering the phone while driving like crazy to get home.

Yes, my mind goes off on these worst case scenarios sometimes. Most of the time it winds up being nothing, but I still feel nervous until I know for sure.

I walked into Carrie’s room and noted that she’d made it much more personal for herself. While we were still living one to a room, the girls could use the entire space as their own.

We spent a good hours going through all her clothes and setting aside the more overly conservative ones. They just didn’t go with her personality at all. Being even shorter than me, we went with a cute look more than anything else. She still had several formal outfits that I really liked, for special occasions when cute just wouldn’t cut it.

“Are you sure you don’t mind being thought of as cute? I know some girls can’t stand it.”

Carrie shook her head with a smile. “I’ve never been just cute before.”

I found that highly doubtful. “How about when you were a little girl?”

Again, she shook her head. “Tomboy.”

With a smile I reached around and hugged her. “Well those days are over, honey. You’ll definitely need some more color in here, maybe some more OTK socks, a couple of nice sweaters, definitely a colorful knee coat and some hair accessories.”

Carrie bounced happily on her bed. “That sounds good. When can we go?”

Sitting down beside her, I patted her knee. “The mall is on the other side of the city and we don’t have a car, sweetie.”

She just grinned at me and grabbed the landline phone beside her bed. “Taxis take credit cards, Kayla. Believe me; I used to use them all the time to get to the tattoo and piercing parlor.”

“I thought the card was for your necessities?”

She shrugged. “Well we have to have a way to get there, right?”

I couldn’t really argue with that line of thought. “Okay. Change into something that you can get out of quickly. We only have a few hours until the stores close. It’s Sunday after all. I’ll go down and get changed.”

On the way down, I stuck my head into Avery’s room and she looked up with a smile. “Hey!”

“Hey! Carrie and I are going to mall. Wanna come?”

Avery nearly shot out of her chair. “Oh! Excellent! I totally forgot to bring my Navy ballet shoes from home. Now I can get something better!”

Avery can get excitable when it comes to shopping in case you haven’t guessed.

“Ten minutes, I’ve got to go change.”

~O~

The three hours we had left were spent hitting the most likely places to acquire what Carrie needed. It’s one of the reasons I invited Avery. She had much more experience in shopping than I did and could plan a full frontal assault on any mall in a hundred mile radius of the campus with minimal effort.

All she needed was to know the general look we were going for and corners were cut from our time looking around, literally. What I’m saying is that sometimes she’d grab my hand and I’d grab Carrie’s until we were pulled into some Employee’s Only back door and emerged directly into a store that had exactly what we were looking for. It was seriously weird.

Avery is a shopping goddess.

When we came in the back way to Nine West and were eyed by the staff, it only took a moment to see recognition on their faces.

“Hi Avery!” they said with a wave.

That’s when I spotted them. They were the knee boots I was looking at during my shopping trip to the mall with my mom, but they didn’t have my size. Avery went off to find her shoes and I immediately grabbed the boot waving it to one of the salespeople.

“Do you have this in a nine? Please tell me you do.”

She smiled and took the number. “I’ll check for you.”

“Those are so cute,” Carrie said.

“I know. I hope they have them. Oh, look,” I said as I pointed out a pair of pumps. “Those would look great with your emerald cashmere.”

~O~

They had my boots!!! And all was well with the world.

TBC...

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Comments

I hope Austin is wrong

She has a lot to lose by having sex with Brandon.

by the way, the moment where she's naked in front of a mirror saying to her male member and image “Why can’t you just go away?” - I've been there, done that a lot of times.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Mirrors

I think we've all had that moment in front of the mirror, at one time or another.

~Lili

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~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

About that moment...

Does it count if you look in a mirror and wish for a whole new body?

Kinda like that car repair where you pull in the garage, take off the radiator cap, and slide another car under it. I don't need to cut it off-I need SO much more that that!

Wren

The Society

Wow, This story almost makes me wish I was young again and a Girl going to College and had some rich parents or benefactor. Great Story and awaiting the nx installment. Richard

Richard

Then maybe...

I would pay more attention to my studies than I did back then with the distractions of newsgroups IRC, MUDs and SimCity...

--B


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Back in the day

Aljan Darkmoon's picture

when I did my undergrad studies at university, there was no such thing as an Internet, and the first IBM PC had just come on the market. I did my papers on the school mainframe, on which I was able to cadge an account.

...and I guess that dates me, doesn't it? :)

What I'm Loving is Kayla's sense of self:)

She's got some serious issues and she knows it but she also has miles and miles of heart. It takes so much not just to know in your head everyday that stuff wrong with you but a whole other kind of strength in putting others first. I keep going back to one of the most amazing things about women.

Fragile strength, I think Kayla has this in spades.

I actually liked the bit with Kayla and her dad in talking about Kelsey. She's right she's an adult now or close enough to it that she has to deal with her own stuff. In my opinion I think Kelsey have been hit with a hard knock to her ego. She's never had female sibling competition before and Kayla's done some things that she's been greatly rewarded in and has likely more friends and respect. It's very likely messing with Kelsey's head and her self worth but I'm just Kibizting here:)

I've got some mixed feelings about Mr. Moneybags. I'd like to see Kayla not need to use the card too much.

There is a positive about her being a T-Girl. Like the in house makeovers, and I'm not saying it applies to every Non-GG but there's this outside of the jewelry box way of seeing and embracing the female world. There is a difference to just want and perceptions that Kayla can take advantage of if she can harness it. Maybe in her therapy sessions, there's good things about coming from different places. I honestly don't think some GG's would have thought of some of the stuff Kayla's already done.

I really like this story Lilith, it really sort of celebrates the feminine without going "Fembot." or the pretty bimbo type, you don't go to that "I'm rilly, like rilley girly so I like don't like gotta brain."

Great, great work:)
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

The only card she'll be

The only card she'll be using is the one Mrs. Burke gave her for clothes. The other one is for Carrie.

I like that phrase, "outside the jewelry box thinking." Neat!

Thanks Bailey!!

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

"Fragile Strength"

Good description, Bailey! I do worry that if/when she is exposed, things will get very interesting very quickly. I hope things work out! I'll be watching, and waiting for the next chapter!

Wren

It's already in the works.

It's already in the works. It just depends on how much writing time i have over the next few days. Since it's raining here at the moment, tomorrow's looking good for writing. Thanks Wren!

~Lili

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~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Society

Lilith what a wonderful story, you really make it seem real.

I envy the girls that are there. Great society name.

I always thought young girls now a days just don't appreciate what they have and what they can do with what they have.

I enjoy wearing smart clothes and can still be who I want to be in business, not going about being submissive or an airhead. Although I know some girls that put on an airhead demeanor, but are really smart; mainly to stay hidden, to get more info from unsuspecting people; those people believing the airheads are not worthy or intelligent enough to understand things. You would be surprised what one can gleen if they play dumb at times.

I love being feminine at all times and enjoy wearing very feminine business suits or power suits to work. To many of todays women down play their looks, for they don't like guys attention and lewd remarks. I can't blame them, but then again, it is nice to get admired for your looks, and mine are starting to fade with age; enjoy your looks while can. Unfortunately I am not aging gracefully. I look into the mirror and am starting to see wrinkles on top of my wrinkles. Makeup can only do so much; sigh!

Keep up the good work, this story is absoulutely lovely. I hope that Kayla doesn't burn out, or explode from lack of personal stimulation, let's say?

New Semester

So Kayla's really settling in with the Society girls and helping them develop their own sense of femininity and style.

(Warning: speculation overdrive ahead!)

Meanwhile, according to Austin, poor 'ickle Brandon is apparently suffering sexual withdrawal symptoms. Presumably sometime in the next few chapters we'll find out what the family emergency was, but it wouldn't surprise me if they break up - and if they did, once Kayla had got over the breakup, maybe it would be a good thing in the long term, as their relationship was edging towards the rocky ground of what is / is not acceptable to the eyes of The Society.

Talking of Society Rules, Lesbianism got a mention in the comments to last chapter. I expect that if Kayla and another girl started developing a non-platonic relationship (which in itself probably wouldn't happen for several more chapters), they'd probably try to resist temptation for as long as possible before possibly eventually going through the Rules with a fine tooth comb to see if there was any leeway whatsoever (e.g. kissing on the lips would almost certainly be prohibited, but holding hands / hugging / chaste cheek kiss?). No doubt this is yet another of those areas you can say very little on :)

So next time we'll probably see the initial appointment with the psychiatrist - as you're staying fairly close to realism I imagine it'll take a few months worth of appointments before the go-ahead for hormones; and although (as with the credit card) it would be marginally tempting to negotiate a financial settlement from Carrie's dad at the end of the semester which would pay for several months supply, I'd imagine Kayla will be sensible and attempt to refuse any financial compensation whatsoever for helping out his daughter (but will be overruled - no doubt we'll have to wait and see in a few chapters time what happens on that front...)

Having said that, I expect that by the end of the academic year she will probably have been given the medical go-ahead for them and found a source of finance (although it wouldn't surprise me if you keep us guessing as to the source right up until the reveal!). By then it's also possible Kelsey will have realised the error of her ways...

 

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I'm not really going to take

I'm not really going to take this as a day by day serial story. There will be several time jumps as we move forward, but i won't leave you hanging on the important things like, "What's up with the brother?"

Rules: Because something comes up, Society rules get taken on in episode 5 which occurs a few days before Spring Break.

Psychiatrist: I've tried the session chapters before and they always suck, are boring, or are too overly emotional. So, I only tell about them in secondhand ways. I can tell you that Kayla won't be having her medical bills paid for by a third party except for what's covered by insurance.

Hanging: Yep... I like to leave things hanging.

Kelsey: Isn't changing her ways. She'll be the same Kelsey. That doesn't mean she won't be nice again, just that she isn't altering her worldview.

~Lili

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~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

"Something comes up"

Wild stab in the dark: something one of the other girls gets up to (probably not Kayla, fairly likely not to be A or C)

Kelsey: I can imagine that at some time she'll partially make up with her 'new' sister, and may eventually take a bit more care over her appearance, but I can't imagine her ever making a beeline for the local Society House or asking Kayla for membership!

--B


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Maaaaaaybe. I can neither

Maaaaaaybe. I can neither confirm or deny that there is a girl at Society House that has the hots for some other girl.

I should have worked for the government.

~Lili

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~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

The Society 4

Ever since Carrie came to the house, I've had the feeling she has a crush on Kayla. (Or maybe that's my wishful thinking?)

I know, I know, you cannot confirm or deny...

I love the story, though. I love the friends she's made, the self-esteem and confidence she's gained, how she's embraced femininity, etc... although I think she should update her VERSION of it instead of just being a clone of the old bitties who founded the group. Bring it into present day. Sure, skirts and dresses and other girly clothes, politeness and manners and respect and all that... But she admits she's discovered she's bisexual, but has decided to repress her heterosexual side because the SPFV frowns on/forbids lesbian/gay relationships, and they think Kayla is a girl so her with another girl is gay (unless they really do know she's a he and we/Kayla don't know that, which you can't comment on, right?)... It's none of the SPFV's business WHO you date. Just as long as you follow "feminine" guidelines. And actually, a lesbian relationship has the potential for TWICE the femininity. *evil grin*

My biggest problem is suddenly she wants to transition.

WTF?

(which stands for What The Fudge, of course)

When this started half a year ago, he wasn't even a crossdresser, much less showing any signs of being transgendered.

Now she hates and is disgusted by her penis? Come on.

Don't get me wrong. If I could inject some alien nanobots that would make me a full girl, I'd do it in a sec.

But a part of me longed for that since I was young.

That's not to say it can't happen later in life. But come on. This fast? Oh, I can believe she feels that way. I just don't believe it's for the right reasons...

If the therapist she goes to is worth the degree on the wall, he/she will tell her something like this: You are not transgendered and I don't recommend transitioning at this time. If you still feel this way in a few years, we'll see then. Maybe you'll be legitimately transgendered then and will decide to change out of a sincere desire to become a woman physically. But right now it just seems to me like you've psyched yourself up so much to present as/play a girl, combined with developing an honest love of your "feminine side", AND affected by the catalyst of your first blossoming love/infatuation with another young man, a handsome strong man who makes you feel even more feminine and womanly, and you want to see a future for you two, combined with knowing he was (apparently) completely straight before meeting you (and thus would want/love you more if you look totally like a woman, even naked, and combined with wanting to be a woman physically so you live up to the "feminine values" of the SPFV...

Transitioning is not recommended, because your feelings of wanting to transition can change, go away, especially if one of the factors above change. What if you break up with Brandon? What if you then fall for a girl? What if she would prefer you to keep your manhood and you now "feel" you want to keep it (whether you stay presenting as a girl or not, now or in the future). What if you want to have children (with her or another girl) in the future? (I guess she can also store sperm samples for that, even if she does transition, but it's only one factor here...)

And of course, you don't have to get an SRS to appreciate your femininity...

Anyway, it just doesn't ring true to me that she's transgendered right now, although for the reasons above, I'm sure she FEELS she is. Maybe someday she will be truly transgendered, and want to transition for legitimate reasons. Until then... maybe the doc could put her on... anti-androgens, maybe a low dose female hormone... I dunno. Enough that it doesn't damage her male bits permanently (in case something changes and she doesn't want to fully transition anymore), but does make her look/feel more feminine, etc. But in future, she may decide something else. Like living/presenting as female but wanting to keep her male bits too, even after university.

Anyway, that was my feeling as I read this chapter.

Of course, for all I know, next chapter, you'll introduce a comment from Mom about how little Kevin said he wanted to be a girl when he was young, but later blocked out the memories and feelings due to bullying at school...

(I know, I know... no comment.)

Lisa "I'm NOT a Wet Blanket" Danielle
(Other than that, I love the fasterisking story. Really!)
((Holy Mackinoley! This comment is longer than John in Wauwatosa's comments, even!))

It was a bit difficult to

It was a bit difficult to read your post, but I'll answer the best that _I_ can, keeping in mind I'm not the author. (or TG)

What you have is someone that has never had any sort of real motivation; they've never been comfortable enough in their own skin to go out and risk it, for lack of a better phrase. With the change to the female persona, Kayla now feels _right_. Remember, this is more than just the one semester. She was 'en femme' for several weeks prior to that (months?). There's also been a lot of time jumps in the four parts of the story we've seen so far, with the commensurate adaptation. Thinks of this as being similar to Heather O'Malley's (poetheather) College Girl/Sorority Boy story. In that story, Caitlin still feels like a boy inside (as it is now). In this story, Kayla has had more time to think about it, and is now comfortable with her role, and sees it as better than what she had before.

That sounds like someone who could be transgendered _and not know it_. Not everyone just 'knows' why they aren't comfortable in their skin; humans have a limitless supply of self-repression and self denial.

A true therapist would take that in stride, along with the fact that Kayla certainly realizes that it's a long journey. The journal/diary she's been keeping (I think) will assist in that process.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Kayla feels _right_

Yes... but does Kayla feel _right_ because she's presenting as a girl? Or because Kayla (dressed and presenting as a girl or not) is DOING something with her life, making friends, building her confidence, feeling pride in her achievements, scholastic and otherwise, instead of being a slacker?

On the other hand... maybe you're right. Maybe HE was a slacker because he wasn't his true self. And just... hadn't realized it yet. Still sounds fishy to me. But I guess it's possible. I dunno.

(My post was difficult to read? *gasp*)

Lisa

I was a slacker too.

And I'm still struggling to change that about me. The main difference between who I used to be and who I am now, is that I never used to CARE about anything. I was just existing, and that, barely.

For years I didn't know I was transgendered, but it was really just a very thorough denial and self-repression.

Of course... I was also constantly depressed, but Kayla so far has not shown any evidence that her Kevin persona ever experienced any serious depression.

Personally, I think that I'd be disgusted if the therapist either discards the case as being a non-case or goes gung-ho full steam ahead. Hopefully the therapist takes this seriously and tries to get Kevin/Kayla to examine their true self AND motivations thoroughly.

If Kevin/Kayla takes it seriously as well and then it takes only a few months to get to a point that the therapist thinks it'd be OK to start them on hormones, that's fine, but honestly, I think I'd rather the story go in such a way that it takes much much longer... if at all.

Kevin/Kayla could just be non-gendered with a particularly strong feminine side, but not strong enough to be a full transsexual. Perhaps some low dose hormones could be utilized then, but not be allowed to transition.

Or perhaps this is all just a reaction to finally taking their life seriously and thinking it's because of living as female rather than just living.

Whatever the case, I do think that Kevin/Kayla's behavior isn't out of line or "too soon", just unusual - but my own case is unusual, so perhaps I'm extra forgiving. Then again, if there's anything I'm starting to learn from reading other transsexuals diaries, all of our cases are very individual and unusual...

Anyways, it's Lilith's story, and whatever she decides to do, I doubt any of us will end up disappointed in the end.

Abigail Drew.

Abigail Drew.

New Semester

As to Kayla and lesbianism, it IS mentioned in this chapter that she has a "mild crush" on Hannah. As such, it not impossible that your speculation could come true.

Brandon is being quite the gentleman now but, Austin is right. Can he hold out? Can Kayla hold out? She seems to be interested in "giving in" and having manual, oral or anal sex with Brandon. Will she try any/all of the above? I'm quite positive that Lilith can describe the "deflowering" with enough reserve and compassion so as not to offend any of us readers.

Hugs,
Erica

I apologize, but it has to

I apologize, but it has to be said since I said it already in the second chapter:

*clears throat* "Unh, unh, unh, Oh god!"

Now back to our regularly scheduled comment answer.

Yes, Kayla has a little crush on Hannah. Beyond that, I couldn't say... well, I could, but that would be telling. ;)

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Ahem

"Clears throat"

Snort.

Sorry....

Candy Floss in a good way

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

This chapter was a bit like candy floss (aka cotton candy) in a really good way - pink, fluffy, fun and oh so enjoyable. Candy floss is a seriously guilty pleasure too, a bit like this story. :-)

Okay, I'm going to try and take a leaf from Kayla's book here and be positive. So there is the whole ominous Brandon's brother thing but that could be good right? Austin never said it was bad, just something had come up. Maybe they've got engaged? Or won the lottery? That would be a big thing, a thing that could 'come up'. And then of course, there was the threat that Brandon has needs and might stray hinted at by Austin, who let's not forget isn't a role model in monogamy. That might be Austin being a bast-- *ahem* worrywort. Let's not forget that although Kayla is being all uber-girly she's not a bimbo, so maybe Brandon could be a boy with very natural needs who isn't unfaithful or the sort to pressurise his girlfriend into doing things she isn't sure about for his own personal gratification. I mean, it could be? After all some things we hold to be self-evident like there are good people in the world or Over The Knee socks do seriously rock.

Either that or the poo really will hit the fan soon.

This is a fun story with some engaging characters and situations. And now that my feminist hackles have given in, I'm kinda getting into the whole Society thing, really oddly. Thank you for another enjoyable chapter Lilli. :-)

 


"Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

You are right, Brandon's

You are right, Brandon's brother could be perfectly alright. I did say, after all, that I wasn't writing my traditional way with this story. If I was, then his brother probably would be a victim of some hate crime or was arrested in some massive male prostitution ring, or was abducted by alien superhero's from another dimension and being changed into a girl to save our universe from imploding.

*ahem*

Anyway, I'm happy that you're hackless (checking definition: nope, not a word.) and enjoying the story!!! Thanks!

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

The Society 4/?

Austin wants her, that's why he said what he did.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

No, Austin does not want

No, Austin does not want her. I think I said that in the first chapter. Austin wants a him, not a her, and Kayla is too much of a her.

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Withdrawn

joannebarbarella's picture

Joanne

Society

I have enjoyed this story as one of the best on this site. I don't often comment on the storys but are a very good writer. You have managed to get me emotionaly involved in the story.

Welcome from the lonely

Welcome from the lonely existence that is lurkdom. It's good to have you aboard. Thanks for taking the time to jot down a few nice words. ;)

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I don't like Austin

He seems the type who always takes the opportunity to bring people down to his level. I don't think it is conscious per se but I do not trust him nor should Kayla trust in his judgement.

A very propitious start for their little society :)

Kim

Austin, even thought he's

Austin, even thought he's gay, is still a guy. (A stereotypical one at least) That should explain it all, but I'll delve a little deeper. He's an opportunist, fairly straight forward except when his own interest is threatened, a little self-centered, a little crass at times, and above all has sex on the brain.

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Brandon & shopping

Renee_Heart2's picture

I hope all is well with Brandon & his brother something isn't right with that as he never contacted Kalia to break their date.

Now as for shopping trip at least Avery knows her way around the mall but how she got employees only access who knows lol that girl & this time Kalia was able to get her boots & put it on her card from Carrie's dad after all most of what is going on it IS for Carrie just one item is not. No harm there.

I had a feeling that Kalia would be around a lot longer then just for school :)

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Avery is a mystery and her

Avery is a mystery and her Mall-Fu is strong.

Kayla still has her debit card that Mrs. Burke gave her. I can't imagine that she would have used it all in one shot, perhaps leaving a minor amount for purchases during the semester for things she didn't think of, etc. She won't be using Carrie's card for anything. Those things are usually good for two years before becoming useless, sometimes more.

And, we'll find out what happened with Brandon's brother in the next episode. It's nothing life shattering if that helps.

Thanks Renee!

~Lili

Google +: http://gplus.to/lilithlangtree

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Avery

Renee_Heart2's picture

That girl IS a mistery lol. Ty Lilith for such a wonderful story :) full of intrigue & mistery I love it :)
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

Another excellent chapter Lili

I'm not sure about the Austin Kayla conversation re Brandon getting horny and needs servicing!

Did Austin have other motives like discrediting Brandon, can he be trusted?

Kayla has about 3.5 years to go, can she hang in there is the big question?

Great story thank you LiLi.

LoL
Rita

I'm a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.
'Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.'

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Loving this

Really loving this story so far LL,please keep up the great work.

Sweet story

Just read through parts one through four at one go and I am very, very impressed. Nicely done in every respect. You must have done a lot of living to get such realism in the characters. Also I get the feel that once you created these characters the have a life of their own to some extent. That is intended as very high praise because it doesn't happen very often. The totally girly nature of the society is fun as it is often played down to make a story seem more serious. I and many of your readers absolutely adore the extrmeme girly girly sweeetness, clothes and makeup. Thank you for a very nice read.

Kristi Lynne Fitzpatrick

Kristi Lynne Fitzpatrick

Austin is Austin

but it would be a good time to have that heart to heart with Brandon, since they've already promised to bring up important issues and not hide their feelings. Find out how he is feeling about "no sex" and tell him how she feels about the whole issue. Decide between the two of them just what is comfortable and what isn't, and if they can both live with the compromise.

I know, that's awfully adult, way beyond what many grownups are able to accomplish, but I think they both have it in them.

SuZie

SuZie

Avery Is a Shopping goddess

Renee_Heart2's picture

That girl know her way around a mall that's for sure. As for Brandon well he had a family emergency to handle.

As for Kelsy's problem its going to be hard for her to adapt like she is I know she will have the operation but money is her problem.

Love Samantha Renee Heart