The Raid II

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The Raid II

The day she plots to kill Jack


By alter-ego
Thanks To Stanman63 for editing!


Synopsis:When an alien task force invades, it causes world wide changes as the nations unite into a global government. But has profound effects on two best friends who are kidnapped.

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She awoke with the morning light, if you could call it that, our keepers had tired to set up an environment much like Earth, her head rested on Jack's chest. Getting up carefully as to not awake Jack yet, she slips into the bathroom, just as she flips the light switch the roof darken, yes the morning audience was there to view the earth zoo. At first it nerved her knowing her every move was being watched, monitor, even record, then of course were those that had to touch the humans. Think back to a time you visit your local Zoo, did you not wish to touch the creature on the other side of that glass wall?

Such a occurs happen during the early days of our trip, our 'cage' then was some sort of prehistory caveman setting, and we worn skins that barely cover anything. We soon knew that any blackness was a screen of some sorts that they could view us, it was also a portal where those on the other side could reach through or even pass items through, think of it as a 'feed the animal thing' It must have been a big thing to feed the humans back then, our keepers had to police our cage back then almost daily for contraband. One day a huge claw enter our enclosure and made a grab for me, lucky Jack saw it and rush to aid me in dodging it. However he was knocked off his feet and was unconscious for a bit. Again our keepers had to come to the rescue and adjustments to our environments were made. Today there is no touching, we just assume they put up signs that say "Don't touch the Humans". Nothing alive come through the portals, we do receive strange 'gifts' almost like toys you could say but nothing dangerous.

Finishing at the toilet, she wipes and stands at the mirror, removing her baby doll, she stretches, cups each breast in her hand, still amaze how she and Jack look after all these years, 'we could pass for yuppies back on earth, if yuppies were still around then', she thinks to herself. They gave up trying to keep track of time, there was no way to mark a wall since the walls changed almost daily for a while there. Their cage was open as far as they could see back then, but they soon learn it was all an illusion. Rocks they stacked to mark sleep cycles would only vanish the next day when they awoke. They tried to keep a count of sleep cycles but after reaching 50000 they gave up. (do the math, thats a long time)

Of course there was all the time that Jack was alone, she had not been with him after day one. After blacking out they took her and using medical knowledge that surpassed anything known molding her to the image of Jack's perfect mate. Jack was allowed to visit each sleep cycle, and would often stand over the tank I was in talking to me. It was a one sided conversation since I never open my eyes but he felt he was reaching me as I would smile when he spoke. Jack has no clue how long that was and there was also the medical research done to him.

He also blacked out that first day and awoke alone, at first nothing seem different, but he learned quickly that there was something different. He could see in the dark, see heat, see cold, see light, could hold his breath for 20 minute easy, could jump 50 feet forward, and at least 40 feet up. And that was from a standing start. He had no way to clock his speed but guessed he was faster then the cheetah. He was also very strong, again no way to guess how strong being in our cage, but he could hold me over head with one hand.

We found I also match most of his remarkable skills, except for strength, yet could beat him out in speed. We also had armor, under the skin, something we found the day of the claw, Jack's chest had been cut, but only the outer skin, under the skin a armor coat protected him, had he been a normal man the blow alone would had killed him, yet he received only minor injuries and they healed over night. Another thing, we seemed to not age, oh we did age, but at a very slow rate, our keepers told us that we would live till the day our star went out, a mystery there as they would not explain.

The perks as we call them did out weight most that had been done to us. Those early days here at the zoo, we played like a good Barbie and Ken, for me it was hardest, they really mess with me in that tank, at the drop of pants I was either on my knees or bend over something waiting for Jack to stick it to me. Jack did what he was also program to do, protect me and fuck me. It was a good thing we never had kids, but that did not stop them from making them, or others. Yep the others in our little town, most went back to the early caveman days with us, if you ever saw Data on Star Trek you would see our support cast. Oh they had them in different sizes, but the same face, eyes, still they did change the hair color on them, but so could I on myself. All I had to do was think red and my hair was red, or any other color I wanted.

Walking back into the bedroom her eyes rest on Jack and his penis, fighting the urge to drop to her knees she turns to the dresser and get her panties, slipping it on she turns to the walk in closet and removes a sun dress from its hanger, slips it on, grabs a pair of heels and then tip toes out of the room. Ahh, the door bell, the taxi is here. taxi? I'm off to talk to 'mother' as I think Jack is seeing another women, (ya right) that our story line today, seems they doing some sort of romance novel and I off to talk to dear old mom about Jack cheating on me. At least its not caveman stuff, but you can see it on our cable TV. Our complete history in 2 hour movies, from the Dawn of Time, to King Kong in New York, the remake, with jets. Any era of our past we and our Zoo patron could watch.

Finally at 'Mom's', I break down on cue and break the news of Jack's affair with one of my girl friends. Her answer to the problem, 'Kill Them'. God I wonder who wrote this, but its a script and I am lock in till the story is done. Agreeing with Mom we discuss ways to do them in. Mom idea is to just shoot both, however I am voting on poisoning her and shooting him. We finally agree to my ideas and she gives me a small gun, with real bullets and a vial, now of course Mom would have it, ya right. Time for me to get my alibi and our story facts together. The cheating GF shoots Jack thinking its me, then seeing what she done takes poison to end her life. God how corny can this get, but the keepers want it so the keepers get it. Another soap in the can.
To Be Continued...

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Comments

The Raid II

This story is one that I can not predict where it's going, which makes it so much fun to read.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Confused

Melanie Brown's picture

I'm a little confused. The narrator bounces back and forth between first and third person and past and present tense. And I thought in the initial part, "Michelle" jumped into her female role awfully darn quick.

I'd like a little more insight into who or what the aliens are and why they'd invade a whole planet just for objects and art (did they just take fine art or did they take the black velvet paintings of Elvis as well?) What kind of society do the aliens have? How do they manage to keep the heroes alive for almost 140 years (I did the math like the narrator told me)?

I don't want to be a nit-picker, so I'll stop before mentioning things like using "women" when "woman" was appropriate.

Melanie

age

Sorry but I lack the skills to really tell a story, back in 94 a little old lady ran a red hitting my van and the van roll across the intersection and four other cars landing up right facing the direction it came. I suffer a brain injury that day. In 2005 I had a Brain Hem (I not going to try and spell this) I was in ICU in a coma for two weeks, they had to drill in my head to release the blood up there, so I have a very hard time communcating, spelling, and just plain carrying on a every day chat. Now I have enjoy the stories told here for a very long time and felt I needed to give back, I'm doing the best I can. I really lack the skills you all have, but will try hard and will ask for editing from those that have offer.

As for the aging, it was an really OLD comic book that I read that gave me this idea. In it the alien was concern that his prize catch would age and die to soon for him, and using his advance knowledge he increase the life span of the human couple to equal his own which was several centuries already. In the end they manage to escape using a life pod from his world ship, returning to a earth that had changed more then they knew for they were now even more special as the human race had evolved to nothing more then floating heads. They were placed back in a special zoo on earth for all times.

I though a severe brain

I though a severe brain injury might account for the story itself, and I truly do empathize with the handicapped. However, why add an additional handicqap in the form of an 'editor' such as the one you've chosen?

Hmmm...

I never thought I'd join the Grammar Police. I feel compelled to make some comments on this story/series.

In the first story, especially one from a first time, probably non-native English speaker, the constant grammar and spelling mistakes were might be excusable. But, if this is going to be a series of stories then those issues need to be addressed. It gets old filling in the article or other words that are lacking in the story, as you read it. It needs help conforming to normal English usage.

I would also agree with Melanie. If this is going to be a series of stories then plot, background, character development all become important. I would suggest finding a good editor that will help in fleshing out the story and correcting at least the most egregious errors in spelling/grammar.

It started out as a nice variation of the classic space opera. Aliens invade, earth responds, people captured, etc... It has the potential, but I fear I will quickly lose interest if some corrections are not made.

As I said in the beginning, I never thought I join the Grammar Police, but please Alter-Ego, get some help in writing and developing your story.

Beth

This story is a somewhat

This story is a somewhat confusing. Certainly it needs an editor.

Sorry About That, Folks.

I am the editor and I was a bit sleepy when I first edited it. Please, blame me as I should have waited .

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Your inimitable style shows through...

whereas a reader shouldn't be able to 'predict' where a story is going, it is imperative that the editor know, so he or she is on the same page as the author. This story seems to be a great idea in search of cohesion and direction, neither of which are apparent to any degree, despite your efforts to edit. Perhaps another editor with more experience might be the way to go for the author. Both of you seem to mean well, but she's like a rookie pitcher in the big leagues for the first time, and she needs a catcher who can help steer her in the right direction rather than call the game the whole way, you see? Nice thought, though.


Happy to know you. Belle

Sorry..

Please remove, if you will; duplicate.


Happy to know you. Belle

Then, perhaps, you might be

Then, perhaps, you might be so kind as to fall on your sword. :)

This reminds me

of many things, including the Star Trek pilot. However, there was a much older story, I may be wrong but I think It was C.M. Kornbluth(Yes the fellow who wrote "The Marching Morons") who did it first.

I very much like this twist on it.

Disregard the grammar police.

About as much use as the regular plod.

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Abby

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