A CHANGE OF STYLE -- PART 2

by NINA ADAMS

In the 2nd of four parts we follow Alex as he slides further down a path across the androgynous lines, with the help of Roxanne and her friends. His friendship takes him places that few boys have the opportunity to experience. His gradual acceptance of his changes helps enrich his life, but forces him to make some complex choices.

MY BIRTHDAY PARTY
My mom let me take the car to Roxanne’s house so I would have the flexibility to come home whenever I wanted to. She insisted I come home before midnight. I wore the cashmere sweater again with some light green slacks that Roxanne and I picked out at Guess. I wanted to wear my Dansko shoes again, but I didn’t think they matched. Instead, I wore an older pair of slip-ons that I wore over the summer.

When I knocked at Roxanne’s door no one answered. I looked around and there was only one light on in the kitchen. I went around to the side door next to the kitchen and knocked again. After pounding on the door a few times, Roxanne’s older sister Lori answered.

“Can I help you?”

“Roxanne invited me over. She said to come by at 8:00. Is she home?”

“She may be down in the basement. Let’s go check.”

She walked me down the stairs to a dimly lit room. At the bottom of the stairs I was startled by a “SURPRISE!”

Roxanne had set me up for the surprise with her sister. I knew she was having friends over with my birthday as an excuse, but they played the game to add to my fun. It was a non-surprise, surprise party.

I smiled and thanked everyone. There were 10 girls in attendance. I had never been the focus of such beautiful attention. It was too amazing to imagine.

The first hour or so we just talked and got to know each other. I knew some of the girls from school and had spoken with some of them for the first time during the week. Almost all of them had made some sort of nice comment about my improved styling. One girl told me my hair was so beautiful that I just had to let it grow. She said it would be even more beautiful if I let it grow a few more inches. I was appreciative of her thoughts, but not sure I would let it get that long.

The conversation shifted to fashion and beauty. They started talking about the new fall styles and what they had recently picked up. I had gone shopping with Roxanne and Jessica, but felt a bit like an outsider by the conversation. They even discuss the newest makeup products that they had recently seen.

At about 10 o’clock the lights went dim again and a white sheet cake was brought in with 18 candles. One candle for each of my years and one for the birth of my new image. I knew much of this was the result of my bold styling changes, but the girls really wanted to emphasize that I had entered a new world.

Roxanne was the first to give me a birthday kiss. I received a series of additional kisses immediately after hers. After everyone was finished congratulating me, Roxanne announced to me that they all got me a present with a special theme.

Roxanne made a small speech explaining my desires to be in theater and the arts. She explained how my new look was the result of looking for greater style and a more dramatic appearance. By the time she was done everyone knew of my regular Lulu appointment and Lulu’s discussion of androgynous hairstyling.

That led to her explaining the theme for my gifts. Everyone had gotten me something that was either gender-neutral or something to enhance my androgynous look. Based upon the theme, I was certain I would not be getting any computer games. I did not know what to expect, but would probably be getting things I did not already own.

Jessica was first to give me a gift. It was from her and a friend, Allison. It was another pair of Dansko shoes. Unlike my current pair, these were maroon and in patent leather. They were almost identical in styling to mine, but obviously more colorful and attention-getting. I gave both girls a peck on the cheek and said thanks.

From Lauren I received a new pair of jeans. These were as she described them, skinny jeans. They had zippers on the top front pockets and also on the bottom of the pants. She said that besides being more fashionable, zippers help make them easier to pull on.

A girl named Jenny gave me a pair of hunter green capris. She said the dark color was very popular with guys who wore Capri style shorts. These capris were very similar to the ones Jessica had pointed out to me.

I received a couple of pastel colored T-shirts from a girl named Nicole. The neckline had a more oval opening than most of my T-shirts and the sleeves were only three quarter length. The tops were very soft and she said they would go great with my new jeans.

Melissa a girl I had never met until the party, bought me a silver chain bracelet. She said that she saw that I always liked to wear my hemp bracelet and this would look nice on my other wrist.

Tricia gave me a gift card to get a manicure and pedicure at Spa Nails City in Highland Park. She said I would really enjoy getting pampered and having well groomed nails is always sexy. “More and more guys get them done now, it is as gender-neutral as any gift could be.”

One of Roxanne’s cheerleader teammates gave me a gift that made me a little fidgety. She gave me five sets of cotton underwear. They were boy style briefs from Gap and matching T-tops. The only problem is that they were from the girl’s section. The bottoms, which were technically panties, had no fly in and a much narrower waistband. The top was similar to my tank tops but also had narrower shoulder straps and cut differently. They were all white and not overly feminine, but I found them a little confusing. No one would see these, yet they clearly were meant for me to feel less manly. I had been somewhat reluctantly moving along this path to a more androgynous style, but now they were encouraging me to feel more gender-neutral in private. This gift was the most surprising one I had received.

Two of the cheerleaders, Jana and Nina, together gave me an ultra soft red cashmere sweater. It had a round neckline with sleeves that were puffier than on my cashmere sweater. Near the wrists, they had a wide tighter area that served as a cuff. It was from the Misses section at Lord and Taylor. I loved the feel, but red was not my first choice of colors.

It was Roxanne’s turn next. She got me a yoga outfit. She was inviting me to join her yoga group that worked out together. She told me it would help keep me toned up and it was a fun group. The outfit was from Lulumon Athletica and was made specifically for yoga. She told me it was exactly like hers and very comfortable. It was formfitting and very stretchy. Unlike some of my older running pants I noticed the bottoms only went down to mid calf. “That’s the style” she insisted. She also gave me a piece of underwear she called a thong. She said with the tight fitting outfit this would give me a better fit. She said that the thong would also make a lot of my other clothes look nicer. I tried to give her a kiss on the lips, but she turned her cheek just before I made contact. I felt shortchanged, but she had been doing so much for me, so I tried not to be that upset.

Another cheerleader, Rita, gave me a crazy gift. I opened her nicely wrapped box from Macy’s and found a new set of pajamas. That would not be so odd if they had not been girls PJs. They were basic blue, like my regular pajamas, but they were made of satin. I looked at her and said, “thank you, but I can’t wear these.”

“Once you try them you will love them. They will make you feel so amazing in bed.”

Roxanne cut in, “You should try them at least once before you decide.”

I shrugged my shoulders so I wouldn’t have to answer with words I might regret.

The gifts were getting more and more across the gender line. I liked the attention, but was feeling like they were pushing me past a point I was comfortable with. I received a few other miscellaneous gifts, including a package of three flavors of the lip shimmer Jessica had previously applied on me. Each had a slightly different tint. The set also came with a gift card from Ulta Cosmetics.

My hall of gifts was quite substantial. I had not received so many gifts in a very long time. Some of them would be difficult to show to my mother, due to how far they had stretched the birthday theme. When I was done receiving my gifts, I thanked everyone. The girls insisted that I try on some of the gifts.

In a few minutes I was parading around the room in my new jeans, a yellow T-shirt, and my new Dansko shoes. My new bracelet was snapped into place. The girls all clapped with enthusiasm. Jessica walked over to me and said “Pucker up again, your lips are dry.”

Like a lamb I pushed out my lips and she spread her tube on my lips. I was not aware until later that evening that the current lip treatment was pinker than her previous shimmer. I remained in my new clothes until I got home a little after 11 PM. I was honored by the extreme attention I had received, but felt pretty un-manly by the direction of it all.

I had let it happen, but I knew I should have resisted the rapid-fire attempt to de-emasculate me. I figured the girls really liked me and eventually hanging out with them could lead to more meaningful relationships.

I had kissed a few girls over the years and had a couple of quasi-steady girlfriends prior to Roxanne, but had never gone further than first base. Not all of my friends had done the big deed, but I was feeling some anxiety that I had not. Hanging out with a bunch of hot girls seemed my best opportunity to get lucky. I hoped in my heart that Roxanne and I would become closer, but if that was not to be, I was open to being with someone else who made me feel special. I guess some good-natured humiliation would be worth the end result.

My mother was still up and greeted me in the kitchen. I was grabbing bottle water, when she effectively cornered me. I wanted to retreat to my bedroom, but did not make it. She looked me over and didn’t miss any of the details.

“Aren’t you pretty? Looks like you enjoyed your girl time.”

“Mom it was not what you think. The girls were all really sweet and I had fun. They gave me some pretty goofy gifts and all of them were very friendly. I met some new friends and we didn’t do anything that you wouldn’t have approved of.”

“I assume your ensemble’ that you have on was one of the goofy gifts you are referring to.”

“Well yeah, but I received a few others.”

“Can I see?”

“How about later, I’m kind of tired.”

“Come on now, let me see. You can go to bed in a few minutes.”

“Okay then, but don’t take them too seriously.”

I opened my two bags and pulled out the series of gifts. Mom was astonished by some of them. She didn’t seem very pleased by them either.

“Honey, there are some very expensive gifts in here. These are not gag gifts. A lot of thought went into these and the girls obviously are pushing you even further along the fashion frontier than just your androgynous hairstyling. Some of these items pushed the concept to a whole new level. Do you understand that?”

“It’s just the girls having fun with me. I know some of this is a bit weird, but I really like spending time with them. If I get too uncomfortable I will put an end to the silliness.”

“Are you planning to keep these things?”

“It would not be nice to return them unless I had a very good reason. I’ll just stick them in the back of my closet.”

“No you won’t. Those were expensive gifts, if you’re going to keep them you will wear them at least a little. If you want to return them, then that’s fine, but if you keep them, then you will wear them. Is that clear?”

“Crystal mom, Crystal. Let me think about that overnight and let you know tomorrow. Okay?”

“That’s fine. If we are going to return them I can run them back tomorrow afternoon. See you in the morning.”

I went to bed think the about what my mother had said. If I chose to keep these gifts I would have to wear them. When I received them, I figured I could just get away with wearing them with Roxanne or not at all. Now my mom was changing the rules. Maybe my mother was telling me that, because she liked the gifts and wanted me to wear them. I wanted to keep them, but if I did, I would certainly be putting them to use.

I woke up feeling very refreshed and again it in an aroused state. I couldn’t remember my dreams, but I felt good when I rolled out of bed.

I made myself a bowl of cereal and some tea. I read the entertainment section of my Mom’s Sunday Tribune, which was my favorite part of the paper. When I was almost done my mother came in and joined me. She grabbed some coffee and asked how I slept.

“Pretty good, I feel well rested.”

“That’s good. So am I’m returning the gifts or do you want to keep them?”

“Gee mom, I am just getting to know most of these girls. If I return them I might hurt some feelings.”

“You remember what I said last night?”

“I do. I could get away with a couple of wares of each.”

“You know what I said and meant. If you keep them they are yours to wear. Just like everything else in your closet. Not just to say you wore them once, but rather as part of your wardrobe.”

“That’s pretty harsh.”

“So I will return them. Please bring them down with the gift receipts.”

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t wear them. I am not a coward and I don’t want to lose these friends before I even get to know them.”

“Decide!”

“I think I am going to keep them.”

My mom looked almost shocked by my decision. At first, I thought her ultimatum may have been to encourage me to try the new fashions, but based upon her look, I knew she was surprised by my decision.

She finished her coffee without saying a word. A few minutes later she looked at me and said, “well, if you are going to keep them let’s put them to use. Please go upstairs and put on your new underwear the capris and one of the new tops. Don’t forget the bracelet and lips shimmer.

She was clearly trying to make a point. She wanted to see the full effect and have me feel it as well. I went upstairs and complied. When I came down she looked at me and said this is much better, but you are not wearing the thong. Go back upstairs and put it on. Push your private parts between your legs then slip up the thong. The capris will have a cleaner line then.

It was a little uncomfortable as I came down the stairs. My stride was shorter to help with the discomfort.

“Now you look much better. Tonight before bed I want you to shave your legs. You have very little hair there anyway, but with capris and some of your other pretty clothes, they will look nicer.”

She was clearly upset with my insistence on keeping everything. This was her way of making a point. I did not want to back down.

“Now Alex, grab a light coat we are going shopping.”

“What! I’m not leaving the house like this!”

“Well you certainly are. Now grab a coat.”

“I was scared to leave my safe home dressed in nothing but girls things.”

“Where are we going?”

“If you’re going to wear some of these things then you should pick up some accessories. Bring your Ulta gift card with you.”

Our first stop was Kohl’s.

“Honey you will get to like this store. They have just about everything and with reasonable prices. We went to the Misses section and picked out a couple of belts. We grabbed two sets of tights in black and silver. Next we went to the shoe section and she had me try on some girl’s loafers and a pair of Mary Jane’s. Mary Jane’s looked all-girl and I was adamant that I did not want them. Mom put them in the basket anyway. Next we walked me over to see some of the newest arrivals at the front section near the register. She held up a very long sweater from the Vera Wang display. She then looked at me and said, “With your long legs this would look gorgeous.”

It went swiftly into the basket. She spotted a pair of black full-length slacks made of some sort of satiny material. They were not shiny, but almost parachute like in apperance. “This would look lovely with your new red sweater. I am not sure the size so I need you to try them on.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No not in the least. You brought on this whole thing yourself, so now get in there and let me see this on you.”

I walked into the empty changing room. It didn’t even occur to me until later that no one said a word when I went into the girls changing area.

“Those are perfect. Now we need one more thing since those do not have pockets.”

We ended up looking at leather purses.

“Which one do you like? There are so many nice ones.”

“I don’t want any of them.”

“You pick or I will for you.”

I grabbed a small plain looking black one, so as to avoid a more feminine looking alternative.

“Not my first choice, but it goes with your new slacks and will probably work with many of your other clothes.”

We were about to leave, but made a detour to the massive lingerie section. “There is so much here that we could buy. I really ought to get you everything, but I think we can hold back a little for now. I think you can wear everything we bought, if we buy too much I think it would cause too many problems at school.”

She then saw some hip and but pads and smiled as she put them in the cart. “Some of the items will look and fit better with these.”

Finally we were done with the store and went to check out. The cashier was very friendly and asked my mom if she and her daughter had found everything we needed. My mom just said, “Yes we did, thank you.”

I was ready to go home and cry, when we pulled into a parking spot in front of Ulta.

“You are going to need some skin care products and maybe something to get the peach fuzz off your legs and arms.”

She picked out a ladies electric razor and some skin oils. We got exfoliates for my skin and expensive face creams. She then called a consultant over and asked if any of the introductory cosmetics sets were better than any of the others.

“Well ma’am, the Revlon kit has virtually everything and the quality is extremely good. If it is for your daughter over there, then I would go with that set. It will be perfect for her skin tone. By the way I just love her hair.”

When we were checking out I kept staring at the makeup set.

“There is no possible way I’m going to start wearing makeup. I think you have lost it. You are taking this silliness way too far.”

“You took it too far Alex, I am only helping you do it right. I don’t expect you to wear makeup to school, but I think it’s time I taught you a thing or two about what girls really have to go through to look nice. This thing of yours is about having a gender-neutral look. So I’m going to teach you some things about the gender you do not know much about.”

“Are we done?”

“For now, but no promises.”

When we got home I went up to my room and spent the rest of the afternoon up there alone. I really did not want to face my mother. I did not understand what came over her and I was not pleased with it. We always were so very close and talked everything through. This time however, she was treating me in a way that seemed unfair and uncalled for.

She called me down for dinner at around six. I took my time joining her at the kitchen table. I still was wearing my new clothes, as I did not want to further upset her. She had made some of my favorite pasta marinara, which was the last thing I expected her to do.

She started the conversation by offering a partial apology.

“Alex, I am sorry for losing my composure with you this afternoon. I should never have dragged you around and treated you as if you were a child. I was upset at the recent turn of events and not sure how best to deal with it.”

“Mom, you don’t have to fret. I’m still your Alex.”

“I know. You have not broken any house rules, or given me a reason to be this mad at you. I am just trying to figure out what you are really up to and what you really want. These physical changes and your recent interest in being part of that group of girls is something we both have to deal with.”

“They are just friends.”

“Yes, but they are not treating you like they would treat most boys. They are treating you almost like one of the girls.”

“Mom, they just befriended me because they like my fashion statement. They think they are helping me and hence my dramatic new look.”

“They are helping you, but maybe not exactly like you planned.”

“It’s all good natured. I’m sure I can handle it.”

I bought you some new things today because I plan to teach you a few lessons. I hope that by showing you a few things, rather than the girls doing it, you may get a clear image of how this is impacting you. You are also less likely to get hurt if I show you how easily your new look could be misinterpreted.”

“What have you in mind?”

“Nothing crazy, I am going to show you a few minor tricks that would make you even more girlish. My point is, to show you how little you need for your androgynous look to look non-androgynous on the other side of the fence. Comprende’?”

“I see, but I won’t let that happen.”

“I’m sorry Alex, but to some extent you already have. If you are going to hang with the girls you need to see how it is affecting you. I suspect you will see the light soon enough.

I think I did enough to you for one day so we can start our lessons later in the week. However, I do want you to wear your new Pajamas to bed tonight. You also have to dress in some of your new clothes for school tomorrow.”

“Just let me know what I need to do. I’m going to finish my homework and get ahead on some of this week’s reading.”

Just before bed, I put on my new pajamas. I nearly had an orgasm the moment they touched my penis. I could not believe the sensation my body felt as the top and bottom pressed on my body. I was scared by how good I felt in them. I looked at myself in the mirror, if not for the pole in my crotch, I looked astonishingly feminine. It was not an androgynous image.

I slipped into bed and tried to fall asleep. The sensation made that very difficult so it took me much longer than usual to fall asleep. When I woke at 6 AM, I realized that I had experienced a complete orgasm in my sleep. I had never done that before. I vaguely remembered dreaming about having been with Roxanne and her friends and shopping for dresses. I couldn’t remember the details, but there was a dress I had seen at Kohl’s on a manikin that I was showing the girls. I took off my new pajamas and put them in the laundry.

I wore my new bracelet and one of the T-shirts with a three-quarter length sleeves, along with a pair of my regular blue jeans. The bracelet was very visible with the shorter length of the T-shirt sleeves. I was not ready to enter school wearing more girl stuff than that. My mother gave me a small smile at breakfast and told me I looked sweet.

At school Roxanne seemed very pleased that I had accepted the gifts and was making use of them. She invited me over Tuesday to do some yoga. She told me to wear my new outfit and not to forget the thong. I told her I would see her then.

Back at home that evening my mother told me to see her about an hour before I planned to go to bed. When I did she brought me into the bathroom and took out my new electric razor.

“You really do not have very much hair on your body. I think you got that trait from me. You hardly ever even need to shave your face. I want you to use this and shave your legs arms and any other stray hairs you can find. Make sure you get under your arms as well. This will help improve your appearance in some of your new fashions. Take a quick shower when you are done and rub some moisturizers into your skin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

When I finished I went back into my bedroom and saw my new pajamas folded nicely and alone on top of my bed. I slipped them on over my silky smooth body. They felt even more incredible on my hairless body.

Each day at school that week I wore something the girls had given me. I even wore the new zipped bottom jeans and the cashmere sweater, but not together. Back at home my mother was showing me the finer details of acting feminine. Each day she had a new lesson for me. Tuesday was a lesson on posture. Wednesday she showed me the difference in how boys and girls walked. Thursday was voice lessons. Each time I complained that I didn’t need to know these things she reminded me that I was a theater major and all of this would come in useful someday.

Tuesday at Roxanne’s house I joined her and three friends for some yoga stretching and exercising. It was much more difficult than I expected. Roxanne took me into the bathroom to adjust my thong. With the tight fitting yoga outfit I looked very flat in front.

“See how much better that looks. You are now smooth in front and the tights look so much better.”

The effect removed the one masculine feature that separated me from the girls. All the girls complimented me on how well my new workout clothes fit. I got used to it after about 15 minutes.

I asked Roxanne to a movie Friday but she told me someone had already asked her out. I was heartbroken and decided I would stay home. I mentioned to my mother my disappointment and she said she was not completely surprised. She said that Roxanne seemed to be a very nice girl, but her interest in me seemed mostly as a friend and not as a boyfriend. I told her I was a boy friend, but she rebutted by saying not in the traditional sense. We left it at that.

She took the opportunity of my evening at home to continue her special form of education.

“Tonight honey, I want to show you some makeup skills. You will probably need to learn some of these if you plan to stick with your theater interests.”

“I really don’t have a need for that yet. Maybe when the spring play comes along.”

“Alex, it is more than that. Just like the other things I showed you earlier in the week it is important for you to understand how small changes to your appearance can send messages that you may not have intended. I’m going to go upstairs and put on some makeup so you can see how much different I look, then I do right now. I will call you up in about 15 minutes.”

That did not seem too intimidating so I said, “that sounds great, I look forward to it.”

When I came up to her room a short while later she looked absolutely ravishing. She had not done herself up like that in a very long time and I had sort of forgotten how truly beautiful my mother was.

“Wow, you look stunning. Don’t take this wrong but you look so beautiful right now.”

“It’s the art of cosmetics and as you can see if you know what you are doing, you can really bring out the best in someone.”

“Well you certainly know what you are doing.”

“I want to show you what we bought for you in your makeup kit at Ulta. It really is very complete. I have a few things you can also use when you practice with these.”

“Practice?”

“Yes. I don’t expect you to wear eyeliner or ruby red lipstick to school, but I want you to learn some of the important fundamentals. You can only get good at it with practice.”

She proceeded to show me everything in the kit and explained what they were for. She told me that I should be very good at this since I loved to paint. She was probably right about my skills with a brush. After spending a half hour or so going through a verbal explanation of all the products, she declared its time to play a little. She grabbed a couple of barrettes and pushed my hair aside above both my ears.

“In another week you’ll be going back to Lulu’s. Your hair is getting pretty long. Do you still want to let it grow or is this long enough?”

“I had no special length in mind, but Lulu thinks if I let it grow until Christmas she had some cool ideas. I was going to just let Lulu do her thing. I like her sense of style and trust her.”

“Teenagers do not need a lot of makeup. Your skin is smooth and you have very little to cover up. Over the next few minutes I tried to take everything in, but it was to some extent a blur. She put some powder on my face and along my cheek line. She rubbed in cream around my eyes and covered it with some powder. Next was a black pencil that outlined my eyes. She used the same pencil on my brows.

After a while I could see my mother was actually enjoying the process. She did not have a daughter and I think this was fun for her. She took out a brush and worked in some mascara to my eyes. It was around that point she started to get a concerned look on her face. She took out some bright colored powders and with a small brush started working them in over my eyes. Her last area she focused on was my lips. She outlined them with a pencil and painted on some pinkish red lipstick. She asked me to wipe my teeth with my tongue.

She stared at me for a full minute and I could tell she was getting a little emotional. She took out my barrettes and fluffed my hair until she was satisfied.

“Alex before I show you how you look, I want you to be prepared. I did this to show you how little it would take for someone to mistake your androgynous style for a girl’s style. The look you are going to seek cannot be mistaken. You look like a very lovely woman. There is nothing boyish to this look. It is a lot like I looked at your age. I think I may have done too good a job.”

I swung around to look at myself in the mirror. I nearly fainted. I look so amazingly beautiful that I stared transfixed at my reflection. I was expecting something odd looking and instead looked like a girl as pretty as any of my new friends. I started getting turned on by my image, which made me both aroused and scared. I loved how I looked, but I was afraid because it was really me. My mother put her arm around my shoulder and said, “I think I took you somewhere neither of us expected this to go. Are you okay?”

“I am not sure. I never wanted to look like a girl or least I didn’t think I did, but this is mind blowing.”

“You have that right. I had been against this extreme gender-bending thing you had gotten yourself into, but now I am not sure what to think. I like how you look, but I know that I shouldn’t. I should never have taken you this far.”

“It’s okay mom. I’m still your boy. This is just for fun and between us. I like how I look and now I understand how easily one can change their looks.”

“Alex can I ask you to do something for me.”

“Of course mom, what?”

“I would like to take a picture in case I don’t get another opportunity.”

“That’s fine.”

“I’d like you to put on the tights, and the long sweater I bought for you. Slip on the Mary Jane shoes.”

When I returned she looked at me and said “You look fabulous!”

I walked over to her and she replaced my earrings with dangly ones. I could feel them swing as I walked.

“You look perfect.”

She snapped off about 30 or more photos before she put the camera down.

I really would love to show you off to my sister, but think I’ve done enough to you already. You really do not look like an Alex right now, more like an Alexia or an Alexandra.”

“Some of the girls call me Lexi on occasion.”

“Lexi, that sounds very cute and appropriate for the moment.”

“If you want you can call me that tonight.”

“Lexi, are you sure you’re alright with all of this? I’m certainly having a little trouble with all of this. You look adorable and I really shouldn’t be happy about that, but I am.”

“Right now I am good. It’s kind of neat to know that I make a knockout chick and I saw how you looked at me. I am happy that brought you some joy.”

“I got a little carried away. I really wanted to show you how to put on the makeup, but I enjoyed doing it myself. I want you to spend some time the next few nights practicing a little of we have done here tonight. I will spend a few minutes with you each time to help you.”

“Okay mom, next time I’ll try doing some of this myself.”

I hung out with her until bed looking and acting like her daughter. It was a nice time and something new to both of us. She kept giving me pointers and correcting my unconscious male mannerisms. After a while, I started getting the hang of it. Later she showed me how to remove the makeup. She also had me apply some fresh moisturizer.

“Makeup can be harsh. You need to take care of your skin.”

I slept as I had all week in my new pajamas. My dreams were more vivid this night and in all of them I remember being a young lady. It was somewhat disconcerting. I know I liked how I felt and it made my mother happy, but I didn’t really think I wanted to be a girl. Maybe for some future dress-up fun, but not for real.

Saturday morning I dressed as normally as possible, nothing girly other than some of the underwear I had gotten for my birthday. I think subconsciously I did not want my mother to think she screwed me up.

She made me a nice breakfast and treated me like the last evening had never happened. Things were basically back to normal, for at least now. After breakfast I walked into town to spend some time at the library doing schoolwork. I ran into Lauren and Jessica and we shared some chitchat. I almost let on about the previous evening but caught myself. They asked me if I was going to the school dance in two weeks. I said I didn’t know yet.

The school dance they were referring to was the annual turnabout Halloween dance. The girls asked the boys and it was a school themed costume party. You could go to the dance alone, but you always hoped that a girl would ask you first. I did not know if I was going, because I had not been asked yet. I was praying Roxanne would invite me, but based upon our recent conversations I was not holding my breath.

It was nice seeing them at the library and sharing some conversation. I wanted to ask them whom they were going with, but thought better of it in case either might want to ask me. When I got home I felt good that I got most of my work done and had some social time. I just had some math left. It was my least favorite subject.

Roxanne sent me a text message after I got home. She wanted to know if I wanted to come over Sunday afternoon around four to study together. I sent back a quick response and told her I would love to. “Is it just us or are others coming?”

“Just us, is that okay?”

“Definitely, just asking, I will see you then, Lex.”

I was thrilled that she wanted to see just me. Maybe she was going to ask me to the dance after all. I did most of my math Sunday morning so I wouldn’t have to do that much when I went over to her house.

I was torn about what to wear. Should I wear more masculine stuff or more of the clothes the girls had given me. I remembered how I felt Friday night when my mother completely did me up in girls clothes and makeup and was now a little nervous about dressing too close to the androgynous edge.

I finally decided I would dress like I thought Roxanne would want me to do. She had obviously helped the other girls pick out things for me, so I figured for just her I would wear as much of the new things as possible. I wore the capris, a red T-shirt with oval neckline, the bracelet, the new underwear, and my new pair of Dansko shoes. I even put on one of the new belts that my mother had picked out. It was a thin black leather belt with a lot of decorative detail work.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I got some of the same strange fascination I had felt Friday. I was dressed a little less girl like than that evening, but only a little less. When I saw how the complete package looked I decided I was going to change out of the capris. Before I had a chance, my mother yelled for me. She needed to go and was going to give me a ride. I went down the stairs and asked her for a couple more minutes. She looked at me and said, “Let’s go Lexi, you’re just going to Roxanne’s.”

I jumped in the car and she drove me the seven blocks to her house. I jumped out with my messenger bag full of books. I knocked on her door. It took a minute or so before her mom greeted me at the door. She looked closely at me and said, “You must be Alex.”

“Yes Mrs. Nash, I am here to study with Roxanne.”

She is upstairs in her room, but I am not sure she wants company right now. She is alone in her room and very upset.”

“What’s wrong?”

“A friend thing.”

“Can I go up and see her?”

“It’s all right with me, but she might not want you to stay.”

I went up to her room and found her looking like she had just been crying. When she saw me, she came over to me and hugged me and started crying again. I held her for a couple of minutes as she continued to cry. I just kept saying everything is going to be fine.

When she finally calmed down enough to talk, I asked her what was wrong. The answer I got back was not one I really wanted to hear. She had called Josh Michaels and asked him to the dance. He told her that he was already going. As it turned out, Josh was the boy that Roxanne had gone out with a few times lately.

“His ex-girlfriend Claire had asked him and he accepted. I was sure we were going to go together. Claire used to be a friend, but I’m not talking to that Bitch anymore.”

“He’s not worth it. There a lot of other fish in the sea.”

“I know you’re right, but right now I have a hard time thinking about anybody but Josh.”

“I understand how you feel, but don’t let him ruin your day. Why don’t you get your mind off him by doing some homework? Let’s not talk about boys.”

“Good idea, no boy talk, unless you want to talk about them.”

“Very funny.”
We worked on school things for about an hour before we took a break. She got us a couple of diet Cokes and we started shooting the breeze. She asked me if anyone had asked me to the dance yet.

“Do you know anyone who’s planning on doing so?”

“A couple of my friends said they might, but I’m not sure about anyone definite. If no one does, we can hang out together, because I’m not going now.”

“Come on Roxy. You are one of the most popular girls in school. You have to go, any guy would be crazy not to go with you.”

“I know it’s a fun night, but I’m not asking someone just to ask someone.”

“Well if you feel that way then we can just hang out that Saturday.”

“You know Lex maybe we should go together. You’re one of my best friends and fun to be around. We could hang out together like we planned, but at the dance.”

“Roxanne, I really like you, but are you asking me because you want to or is it because you don’t want to ask anyone else?”

“ Lex, I like being around you. It’ll be fun and a lot of your new girlfriends will be there. We will get to do some dancing.”

“I would love to go dancing with you, but what about costumes. Most people are doing something schools themed; zombie teachers, sports stars, bloodthirsty janitors. It doesn’t have to be school themed but it is the school dance and I think it’s more fun that way.”

I suggested going as a blood-soaked doubles tennis team. She had equally bad ideas when she looked at me.

“I’ve got it! It’ll be hilarious.”

“What, what!”

“I’m going as a school quarterback complete with shoulder pads and uniform. You are going to be my cheerleader girlfriend.”

Yeah right! I’m not going to school as a cheerleader, I’ll be laughed out of school.”

“Just wait here for a second.”

She ran into her sister’s room and came back with a very vampy black wig with a mass of curls. It was obviously fake looking. She came in and slipped it on my head without even asking. It was so campy, it was kind of funny. It certainly did not look real.

“You can wear my uniform and it’ll be a gas. With us dressed that way we will be a perfect couple and it’ll be a riot. You can come over here and we will get ready together.”

“Roxy, I’m still not sure about going in a skirt.”

“If you are not comfortable we won’t stay long. Besides no one will possibly recognize you in that outfit and the silly wig”

“You’re probably right about that.”

“Will you do it? The dance and costume or do you just want to stay home?”

“Against my better judgment I’ll do it.”

She really perked up after that. It was as if she cheered up all at once.

“Lex, I never said anything, when you came in, because I was so upset, but I really love your new look. It’s a shame the rest of the girls are not here. Is that a new belt? I don’t remember that.”

“My mom and I got it last weekend. Do you like it?”

“It’s great with what you are wearing. You really are coming out of your shell and getting more daring. You should wear that to school tomorrow so Jessica and the girls can see how perfect you look.”

“No way. I wore these just for you. I’m not ready to be laughed at by anyone.”

“You really do look cute.”

When I got home my mother asked me how my evening went and if Roxanne asked me to the dance. I explained the turn of events and my commitment for the dance.

“You told her you would dress as a cheerleader for the dance. Two nights ago, you dressed up as a girl for the very first time and now you are going to become a cheerleader. What have I created?”

“You’re not serious mom. This is for fun and I’m going to look like a silly cheerleader with her silly looking quarterback boyfriend.”

“It’s just…. Never mind. Did you know I was a cheerleader in high school?”

“No.”

“Like mother, like son.”

“I’m going to get ready at Roxanne’s, can you pick us up after the dance?”

“Sure, that way the quarterback can’t take advantage of you.”

“Very funny.”

When I got to school the girls all knew I was going with Roxanne to the dance. I even told some of my male buddies. I left out the part about being a cheerleader. I told them my costume was going to be a surprise.

It was still over a week away but I started thinking about the dance. The more I thought about my costume, the more I kept thinking about how I looked this past Friday with a little makeup on. I was concerned that dressing like a cheerleader might not look that outrageous with very little effort.

I reverted to more traditional fashion choices at school, as I did not want to take any chances sending mixed signals prior to dressing as a cheerleader. The week went quickly and my Friday Lulu appointment was upon me. My hair had grown nicely since my last cut. My last cut was the one that seemed to have changed my look so dramatically and led to all the attention from Roxanne and her friends. With the added length, the style looked much less dramatic than when it was fresh. The shape was getting a little more unwieldy with its newfound fullness.

I stepped into Lulu’s styling station at 4:30 PM and she gave me a long look over. She asked me how I had been and how I liked the last style. I gave her a quick summary of the wave of events I had experienced, including the new friends and even the silly birthday party. She listened attentively, as she washed my hair. She asked me if I still wanted a dramatic look. I told her she had not steered me wrong so far.

“Well your hair is getting longer and soon we will have many more options. At your next cut I think I can do some things that will allow you to change your look as your mood changes. It will have daily styling options. To get your hair to that point I am not going to cut your hair into any real special look this week. All I am going to do is balance off the sides a bit and trim the very tips of your hair. I really don’t want to lose any length. For a somewhat more dramatic look you can brush the hair across your forehead and face and it still will be longer in the front. Compared to your next styling, this might seem pretty basic.”

“That’s fine, my life has had a lot of drama these past three weeks and will have enough drama this coming week. A couple of weeks of relative normal times will be welcome.”

“That’s good then. What’s coming up that so dramatic that you’re worried about?”

“It’s a little dumb, but I’m going to the school Halloween costume dance next week dressed as a cheerleader. Roxanne has a very campy wig and she got me to where her uniform to the dance with her. She is going to be a football player.”

“You’re going to be a cheerleader. That is so wonderful. When is the dance?“

“Next Saturday at 7:30.”

“I could cut your hair differently if you don’t want to wear a wig.”

“No, no, I’m fine with the wig. It will help camouflage me. The wig is long and very cheap looking with big curls. I’ll be fine with that. I want you to keep your styling plans just as they were.”

“I would really love to help and besides I would love to see you in your costume.”

“I’m getting ready at Roxanne’s and I don’t think I’ll need much help.”

“How about you come by the shop before you go. I can paint your nails the school colors and maybe touch up your look. You know how I am with style.”

“That I know. Our school colors are gold maroon and white. I guess the nail thing could be kind of funky.”

Why don’t you come by and about 6:30. I usually close by six on Saturdays, and will stick around for you. It will be my treat. I will drive you to love birds to the dance when I am done.”

“Well if that’s okay with Roxanne, then fine.”

“Why don’t you get dressed here, then you don’t have to get half ready at Roxanne’s.”

“Good idea, but I have to check with Roxanne.”

“Since you’re getting ready here, try to get here by 6:15 at the latest. I will make sure the place is cleared out so you won’t be nervous.”

She proceeded to snip away at my hair with new enthusiasm. The new style actually looked longer than when I came in. My hair was now mostly even, but it still was slightly longer and hanging down in the front area. I had to brush it aside a couple of times before I even paid her. She told me if that became troublesome that it was long enough to push back behind my ears or I could wear a barrette. I frowned at the last suggestion, but she said they are not all that noticeable.

She mentioned that she was so glad that my mother and I decided to have her start cutting my hair. She said she would tell my mother tomorrow at her appointment how much she enjoyed styling my hair.

I called Roxanne as I left to ask her about Lulu’s idea. She thought it was great. “If either of us had any doubt, it should be gone now, you are going to have a great costume.”

I didn’t mention anything to my mother, but Lulu told her the next morning.

“Lulu tells me she is going to help you get ready for the party. We talked about it quite a bit.”

“I assume going to Lulu’s to get ready is all right?”

“Yes, dear. We agreed she could help you get the right look.”

“She’s going to paint my nails.”

“Yes that will help us with your cheerleader image.”

The rest of the weekend went on uneventful other than my mother taking measurements of me all over my body. I inquired what she was doing and she said she wanted to see what sizes I might need for some of my new winter things. She had said little about my new hairstyle other than it looked attractive. Later Saturday I found some hair clips, a new brush, and a set of three sizes of Barrettes on my dresser.

I asked her about those and she told me they were Lulu’s suggestion. “She wants you to brush your hair for 10 minutes every night before bed.”

It had been quite a weekend. I spent a little time with Chris and Sam studying, but the weekend was basically uneventful. There was no repeat of the girl time with mom other than my hair brushing. I was still wearing the new pajamas and they had become second nature.

In passing conversation on Monday I mentioned how much I enjoyed sleeping in the satin Pajamas. I told my mom how comfortable they were even though I would not want anyone to see me in them. I even said that on those few nights that they were in the laundry I missed their feel.

On Wednesday I received a most unexpected surprise. When I got home from school I found a bag from Nordstrom’s on my bed. Inside the bag were another set of pajamas and a full-length sleeping gown. The pajamas were red and the gown was black. They were both made of similar satin materials to my pajamas, but both were decidedly more feminine. The gown was completely feminine with a lacy shoulder line.

I ran into my mother’s room with the items, “What’s up?”

“Honey you mention how much you loved your new pajamas so I got you a couple more. Nordstrom sells the very nicest sleepwear and you’ll love the feel.”

“But one is a gown!”

“That’s true, but no one sees you sleep. Since you love the satin feel in the PJs you have to try sleeping in a gown. It is a scrumptious change of pace. Before you say anything just try it and keep an open mind.”

“I don’t understand, because you are sending me so many mixed signals. You were against my bold fashion statement, and then against the earring, then the new clothing my friends gave me. Now you teach me how to walk, and talk more like a girl. You teach me about makeup and now you are dressing me up even more femininely than my friends. I am really confused.”

“Alex, I am little confused myself. I was dead set against your extreme makeover. Then I saw how happy you became with your new friends. When I saw you last Friday looking like me 20 years ago I nearly passed out. I realized I needed you to find what makes you happy.”

“That doesn’t explain the gown. I said I like my satin pajamas, but I didn’t ask for such sexy sleepwear.”

“This Saturday you are going out in public as a girl. I just thought you needed to feel a little more comfortable in the role. I am going to help you get into the right state of mind.”

“It’s only a costume party.”

“If you say so. Let me know if you feel that way Sunday.”

“So now what?”

“Well we have three nights until the party. I thought I would call you Lexi and you could dress in your nice new things to get comfortable.”

“I guess I could do that.”

Over the next three nights she critiqued all of my movements and my speech. She didn’t put any makeup on me, but she treated me like a daughter. When Saturday rolled around I found it almost too easy to switch into the female role. I was comfortable playing the daughter, so dressing for the dance should be a piece of cake. It was all for fun and with the crazy wig no one would recognize me.