looking back, looking forward

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Well, yesterday while I had the day off, I went back over my blog here, and its hard to believe how much has changed for me from the beginning. Then, I was still struggling with accepting myself as a woman inside, still hoping somehow I could be the male person everyone wanted me to be. And even as I started to accept myself internally, I struggled with feeling like there was nothing I could do - no way I could pass dressed as a woman, much less begin a transition, and yet here I am, on my way, able to go out unafraid, accepted at work, and even started hormones. Who would have predicted this way back when?

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looking back, looking forward

Thank you for poting this blog and letting us know about your journey.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Poor Dorothy!

[[don't be upset; this is a joke.]]

I'm sorry that we sucked you into the TG/TS way of being. Many of us say we wouldn't wish TSism on our almost worst enemy; and here you have succombed to it. Maybe it's cuz the site is big closet TS; maybe we don't understand the power we have over (not so) young impressionable minds.

Maybe you should sue Erin....NO,NO that's not write...

I hope you are doing well. Just a thought, you could contact slicer/Abigail and get the Real Story on how she lost all that weight.... maybe it was magick! You think?

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Ready for work, 1992. Renee_3.jpg

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Yeah....

Andrea Lena's picture

...what Nee Nee said!!!! Dear Big Sis...one of our first 'conversations' you said, "You're TG, alright!" And of course, I, being the insecure doubter that I am said, "I don't think so." Who knew. It truly is a wonder to watch folks grow and progress and change, but we owe so much of our encouragement to those who've gone before...like you, sis!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

magick!

Yep, totally. The magick of a healthier diet, regular exercise, and NO DEPRESSION! The soy might have helped... a little.

45 pounds in roughly 4-5 months isn't really that magical when you set yourself a goal and DO IT. That evens out to approximately 3 pounds a week on average. Not magical at all, really.

Oh, and Dorothy, I don't really know how strong your own denial was, but I honestly was so deeply buried within a fortress of lies of my own construction that I wasn't even aware I was hiding.

Two decades or so of that is enough, in my opinion.

Now to just save up to start a proper transition... At first, I wanted to rush in and get it done when the fortress collapsed, now I'm realizing I really need to slow down a little. Though I am going to keep self-medicating. It'll be interesting what the urologist finds when I finally manage to start seeing one! I'm curious just how... strong... my cocktail really is. I'm also curious what might be hiding inside my body, that caused these herbs to react so readily to my system, when my research indicates they ought to be weaker than this.

I'm not holding out much hope for intersexuality, but it is certain that I had a serious hormonal imbalance, what it was isn't so certain, but it seemed almost as though my body was taking all hormones straight towards dead-end DHT as fast as it could.

Abigail Drew.

Abigail Drew.