holding it in

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Sometimes, i find it hard to hold back from just telling everybody about my gender struggles, and getting it over with. Other times, I realize that to do that would bring all the consequences down on my head, without actually being able to have any real positive results, except I would be free from this terrible burden of having to lie, especially to the people i care about. I pray to God that I can endure, since I see no way to move forward at this time.

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Definitely know the feeling

Zoe Taylor's picture

"...and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

-- Anais Nin

I'm not at that day yet. There's still too much I have to do to prepare, but I realized tonight that the only reason I fight who I am has always been for the sake of my family.

I wish I could offer some advice, but all I can say is what I'm doing myself now - keeping hope alive :-)

*hugs*

Happy Thanksgiving (Even if you're outside the U.S.! ;-))

~Zoe

~* Queen of Sweetness *~

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I think we all know that feeling

Or at least, most of us who frequent this site do.

When I was in high school, my mom and dad were constantly worried about me because I was always depressed or upset. Throughout my teen years, I was on many different types of antidepressants, none of which ever seemed to help, or sometimes made things much worse. I tried to run away, I even tried to kill myself. And all because I couldn't stomach the idea of talking to those I loved about my problems.

Around the time of my junior/senior year, I told my mom, who said she'd pretty much already known. Shortly before that my sister had found out, so that gave me the beginnings of a support group around me. Of course, that was something like, what, six, seven years ago? And just a few months ago my dad found out.

We know how much it can hurt. Be comforted knowing there are those of us here who can relate.

Melanie E.

Been there, done that

Almost everyone here can relate to what you are going through.

Sometimes we find it very difficult to keep our mouths shut, but for us the consequences of not doing so can be catastrophic if the circumstances are wrong - and you can bet your boots that that's what will happen.

Keep your own counsel, dear. Even though we all desperately want something special to happen, it will take time. Sometimes a lot of time. Your day will come.

The other thing to realise is that, even though you feel boxed in at the moment, there are always solutions to your problems. Sometimes these solutions are not the ones you may be obsessing over, sometimes they come at you from left field. Don't discount the unexpected.

There will come a time when you can properly be yourself, count on it. You just have to be patient for a while.

Penny

Being honest

A while ago I heard someone tell me "There are no wrong answers." It was to me the most wonderful thing I had ever heard.
I lived in shame and I lied to myself that all is fine. Then I would spend the night begging God to give me inner peace.
When I heard that small statement, that night I prayed to God and asked why am I like I am. God told me to look in Isiah 55 verses eight and nine. Pluse he told me he made me this way becasue I was special. I was shown my birth and suddenly everything was all right.
I transitioned to full time as a female, wihtin a year I bought a new car and a house Those who admonished me were soon out of my life, their choice not mine.
I have friends who are like family to me and I am accepted for who I am. the only thing I changed was the outside appearance, my persoality, sense of humor remained the same.
I began to not get angry all the time and since I no longer had to lie to myself life began to get better.
I still face small bumps in the road but they are not roller coaster rides like they used to be.
There comes a time when we have to face our monsters and get them out of our lives.
Your monster is ready to leave, just get rid of him.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.