Soixante-Trois Airlines: Sophie, part 13

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“Umf,” Sophie grunted as her eyes slowly opened and she found herself in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. “He- hello?”

“Ah, bonjour!” The familiar voice of Sophie’s roommate replied with an excited squeak that made Sophie wince.

“Not so loud, please!” Sophie groaned as the throbbing in her head intensified. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Time for you to be getting out of bed,” Francine replied in an authoritative voice. “Today is a big day!”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Sophie chuckled as she slowly slid out of bed and stretched her aching muscles. “It was a big night last night too, heh!” Sophie grinned despite her hangover as memories of the previous night came flooding back.

Sophie, Francine and several of their friends and colleagues had spent the evening in many of London's fanciest nightclubs, drinking, dancing and most importantly celebrating the love of two of Sophie’s best friends. While all the women on the night out- Sophie included- wore short, tight clubbing dresses, a ton of make-up and sky-high stilettos, Amelie and Ellen also wore pink and silver sashes that read ‘Bride to be’, while Sophie’s and five of her friends wore sashes that read ‘Bridesmaid’. Sophie had initially been shocked when Amelie had asked her to be a bridesmaid, but had eagerly accepted, not least when the Frenchwoman had shown her the design she had chosen for her bridesmaids’ dresses. What excited Sophie the most about being a bridesmaid, though, wasn’t the dress, or the hen night or even the wedding itself- it was the acceptance. Regardless of Sophie's 'circumstances', Amelie had unconditionally accepted her as a woman, as had Francine, Ellen and countless other friends... and so had Sophie's parents.

Since coming out to her parents, Sophie had felt like a completely new person- a person who felt like they’d been freed from the shackles of ‘conventional’ gender, whether that gender was male or female. Sophie could be the person they wanted to be- whether that was ‘he’, ‘she’, a mix of both genders or something else entirely. She no longer needed to hide the person she’d become from anyone- and yet, she still felt a sense of anxiety. Her second book was nearing its completion, and even though her new manager sympathised with her, Sophie knew that life as a stewardess would be incompatible with life as the writer she dreamed of being. To be able to continue living as the woman she wanted to be, Sophie would be forced to walk away from the world that had enabled her to be a woman in the first place. A world that included her best friends- friends who she wanted to help with her book, but who still struggled in their daily lives. Every time Sophie thought about how well her life was going, she felt guilty about how Amy was forced to deny her relationship to her own daughter, or how Hayley's relationship with her family was still fractured. Both women assured Sophie that her friendship was all that they needed and that they were genuinely happy that Sophie had reconciled with her parents, but that just made Sophie more guilty- and would make it all the harder for Sophie to walk away when her book was published.

However, the book’s publication was still months away, and Sophie had plenty to distract herself in the meantime. Christmas was a mere four days away, but even that holiday paled in comparison to the celebration that Sophie was about to get ready for.

“…Very true. Now allons-y!” Francine ordered as she practically shoved Sophie in the direction of the hotel room’s en-suite. As Sophie’s hair and make-up would be applied professionally, all Sophie needed to do was shower and relieve herself, but even that brief time alone was enough for her to be lost in thought again.

The wedding Sophie was about to attend would be the fourth she’d been to in under two years, all of which she’d attended as ‘Sophie’ and all of which were for people who had been complete strangers 24 months earlier, but who had quickly become some of her closest friends. What stood out the most to Sophie, though, was the fact that the previous wedding she’d attended, for her friends Danny and Rachel at the end of November, was the only wedding of the four ceremonies that included a groom.

Ever since becoming ‘Sophie’, her love life had been put on hold. ‘James’ had never had much of a love life to begin with, but had had the occasional 'intimate' relationship with a woman. ‘Sophie’, however, had initially felt that her 'status' meant that no woman would even look at her. Any girl going out with 'James' would also have to accept 'Sophie', and any girl going out with 'Sophie' would have to accept 'James', and Sophie felt that the likelihood of finding such a woman was slim to none. However, as she witnessed the clear love that Zoe had for Natalie, or Jessica and Paige’s mutual love, it made Sophie more and more confident that there might be a woman out there for both her and ‘James’- and if she was going to find her anywhere, it would be at the airline. However, Sophie wasn’t desperate for a relationship, no matter how many of her friends were finding love- or how many of them continued to tease both her and Amy about their ‘relationship’. Sophie had been blessed with dozens of friends she could truly call her own, and the two brides-to-be were among her best friends. Regardless of Sophie's own love life- or lack thereof- she vowed to do everything within her power to make their special day the most special of all time.

“At last!” Francine teased as Sophie emerged from the en-suite, clad in just her cache sex thong. “Are you less ill after that?”

“Erm, a bit, thanks!” Sophie replied with a chuckle.

“Bon,” Francine said, grinning devilishly as she picked a garment off of her bed that made Sophie groan. “Oh, now be nice! Did you not wear these for many months when working for my father?”

“Yes, and I hoped I’d seen the last of them,” Sophie sighed as she took the waist cincher from her friend and fastened it around her midsection. “And why is your sister, the most feminist woman on the planet, insisting that her bridesmaids all wear corsets anyway?”

“Just to be sure we are the same centimetres as when we first wore the dresses,” Francine replied. “Amelie wants for the wedding to be la perfection .”

“Just like any bride,” Sophie mused, wincing as Francine pulled the laces on the corset.

“Oui,” Francine said. “But with Amelie there is one more thing. She wants for our papa to know that her love for Ellen is real.”

“…Your father still doesn’t believe Amelie?” Sophie asked gently, sighing as the young Frenchwoman shook her head.

“He believes that Amelie is, ugh, what is the word…” Francine sighed. “That she- that she fakes her love, so to make him angry. And…” Sophie frowned as her roommate trailed off, her cheeks starting to flush.

“And…?” Sophie asked.

“Ugh,” Francine spat. “And- and that she did choose to marry in London and not Paris to make him angry. And- and she did choose her demoiselles d'honneur to make him angry as well.”

“…Oh,” Sophie mumbled. “By which I assume you mean picking me and Paige as bridesmaids, rather than just you?”

“Our papa believes Amelie should choose Veronique, our demi-soeur,” Francine said as she finished tying her friend’s corset before slipping on her own. “But you should not worry, Sophie. He will not make, umm, make….”

“…Make a scene?” Sophie said as she fastened a pair of nude stockings to the garters hanging from her waist cincher.

“Oui,” Francine whispered. “As many of his business partners will be here today, he would not wish to offend them. Those who would not be offended by, well…”

“A same-sex wedding where four out of 6 bridesmaids are transgender?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as Francine nodded.

“When Veronique married,” Francine explained, “there were many there from Russia, Qatar, Dubai… She married four years ago, our papa wished to use the wedding to speak to people for maybe business in the countries, most for the Coupes du Monde in Russia and Qatar.”

“I thought I saw a few advertising boards for the company at the World Cup last summer,” Sophie mused.

“He was very happy that the team and the coupe too went back to Paris on his plane,” Francine said. “A flight with no transgender girls working, too. Our papa actually worries that Amelie’s wedding will hurt him being friends with who Amelie calls ‘Le Petit Connard Russe’.”

“Comrade Putin?” Sophie asked, smirking as her friend nodded. “I mean, I don’t want the guy to go bankrupt, but on your daughter’s wedding day, I’d have hoped he’d be more concerned with her feelings than those of the president of Russia, or the Emir of Dubai or whoever…”

“That is why we need to show our papa that the love is true,” Francine said as she and Sophie pulled on fluffy bathrobes and soft slippers, before padding out of their room to the room where Amelie’s other bridesmaid was waiting for them.

“Hey you two!” Paige said with an excited giggle as she gave Sophie and Francine a gentle hug each. “Today’s the big day!”

“For certain!” Francine giggled. “Where is my sister, please?” The three bridesmaids all grimaced as they heard a loud retching noise come from the room’s en-suite.

“…Hangover?” Sophie asked.

“I think it’s more nerves,” Paige said, glancing over at Francine, who simply nodded and headed to the en-suite to comfort her sister, leaving Sophie alone with the Scottish woman.

“So… How’s life in ‘la grosse pomme’, then?” Sophie teased, smirking as Paige giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Tres bien,” Paige replied with a smile. “I still sometimes miss London, but then again I miss Paris too, and I miss Scotland more, so- yeah. But really, nowhere I’d rather be, and no one I’d rather be with.”

“You’ve been giving words of advice to Amelie about marital bliss, then?” Sophie asked.

“I’ve been giving it to anyone who’ll listen,” Paige chuckled. “Honestly, me and Jess are doing great, never been better.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Sophie said. “How long are you in London for?”

“Flying back tomorrow,” Paige sighed. “It’s Jess’s brother’s birthday on Monday, and we always make a fuss of him, meaning we’re always in Baltimore for Christmas too, so- yeah. Dunno when we’ll be back in the UK. Actually, come tae think of it, I think this wedding is the last of the Tutu Project’s, isn’t it?”

“I think so, yep,” Sophie sighed. “Still, more time in America gives you time to perfect your accent. I didn’t realise you took Jess’s accent as well as her surname?”

“Oh- get tae!” Paige snorted, giving Sophie a playful slap in her arm. “You live in a place long enough with someone, you’re bound to, you know, pick up the accent a little…”

“So… How long before Amelie sounds like an extra from Coronation Street, then?” Sophie asked, making her Scottish friend giggle as the two Frenchwomen emerged from the en-suite, Amelie looking considerably the worse for wear.

“Hey,” Paige whispered softly. “Are you okay?”

“Ou- oui,” Amelie replied with a nervous nod of her head. “I am fine. I shall be better once today is over.”

“Really?” Sophie asked innocently. “You just want to rush through your wedding day?” Sophie flinched as the bride-to-be regarded her with an angry glare, before sighing.

“If today was just for me and Ellen, then no, I would want to enjoy every second,” Amelie said. “But I- I am afraid that our father will cause a scene, or he will invite an Arab or a Russian businessman who will make a show of walking out, or- ugh. Or that Ellen will decide that she does not want to marry me after all…”

“Why- why on Earth would you ever think that?” Sophie asked gently. “You know how much Ellen loves you. I mean, at your birthday party last week, she never left your side.”

“I know,” Amelie whispered. “But I- ugh! After all that I have done, all that I have said to my father and about my father, I- heh. I think his testament, for his death, will have changed. And marrying a woman when he is trying to be friends with businessmen from Arab states or Russia, it- heh. I am happy to be poor with Ellen. I would prefer that to being rich and living with one of the friends of my brothers, or with a husband my father chose for me, or- or with any husband.”

“And I have told you many times,” Francine said, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “Our papa only wants for you to be happy. And you are happy with Ellen, are you not?”

“Of course,” Amelie replied angrily, before sighing. “I- I do, really, I do, but- ugh. At first, maybe, perhaps I wanted to make our father angry, and I dated what I knew he would most hate, but I- I love Ellen. She is funny, she is kind, she is very, very beautiful… I cannot imagine marrying anyone else, no matter how rich or poor we are.” Sophie bit her lip as she listened to her friend talk- she knew that Amelie had always been more than content to spend her father's money when it was available to her, so doubted whether Amelie could tolerate being 'poor' by any definition of the word. However, Sophie also conceded that given the choice of being 'rich' or 'poor', almost everyone would choose 'rich'- herself included.

“Then what more is to be said?” Francine asked. “And for more, if you stopped the wedding it would anger papa. But it would more anger Ellen. And you could not do that to her.”

“Never,” Amelie whispered.

“Take it from someone who learned the hard way,” Paige whispered as she gave Amelie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “When you know it’s right, don’t hesitate. Don’t think ‘yeah, but what if this or that happened', not if you’re certain that you love her.”

“Merci,” Amelie whispered, before taking a deep breath. “So, when is our hair and make-up to be done?” The four assembled women let out an excited squeak as they awaited the arrival of their beauticians.

A short while later, Amelie and her three bridesmaids exited their suite, nervously awaiting the arrival of the final member of their wedding party. As Sophie looked at the bride, she felt a twinge of envy- her hair and make-up was immaculate, as was the floor-length, cap-sleeved white dress she wore. However, Sophie's own look was far from shabby. Her ever-growing hair had been tied back into a tight French braid, her make-up had been professionally applied and her dress had been designed specifically with her in mind. Like Paige and Francine's dresses, it was blue, had a flared, knee-length skirt, but most importantly, had a high neckline so as to not make Sophie feel self-conscious about her lack of cleavage. When combined with her waist cincher, Sophie had never presented a more feminine figure- not even in her flight attendant uniform. Sophie began to fidget, though, when the smartly dressed middle aged man rounded the corner of the hotel, accompanied by two bodyguards.

“…Pere,” Amelie whispered to the tall man, who glanced coolly at Paige and Sophie.

“Let us talk in private, please,” Monsieur Masson said in his refined Parisian accent.

“I would like them to stay,” Amelie defiantly replied. “They are my demoiselles d'honneur. And my friends.”

“Très bien,” M. Masson said, as Sophie prepared to mentally translate the father and daughter's conversation from French to her native English. “You are aware that I did not approve of this union at first.”

“I am,” Amelie replied in a nervous whisper.

“Out of all my children, you have always been the most trouble,” M. Masson continued, making Sophie fidget- no matter how rich you were, giving your daughter a dressing down on her wedding day was simply unacceptable. “We have disagreed our whole lives on what was best for you. But where we have always agreed was that I wanted you to be happy. Does this woman truly make you happy?”

“Her name is Ellen,” Amelie replied. “You should learn it, she will be your daughter-in-law.”

“…Yes, of course,” M. Masson mumbled.

“And yes, yes she does,” Amelie said. “I adore Ellen. And I wish to spend the rest of my life with her. If that means that you will no longer financially support me, then so be it.”

“I would never, ever cut you off financially,” M. Masson sighed, clearly offended by the insinuation. “You are still my daughter, no matter how much we argue. I love you, Amelie. And if Ellen makes you happy then I will gladly accept her as my daughter-in-law. And offer you whatever support you need, financially or otherwise.”

“…Thank you,” Amelie mumbled, her body language more subdued, more submissive than Sophie had ever seen from the young Frenchwoman.

“Even if this way, I may have fewer grandchildren than I expected!” M. Masson said, sharing a chuckle with his daughter, who smiled as she took her father's arm. As she followed the bridal party, Sophie mused on how easy the Massons’ reconciliation had been, but realised that there would likely have been many conversations between the pair that she hadn't been privy to. Sophie found herself wondering whether or not her own father would walk her down the aisle when she got married- something that had seemed unthinkable as little as a few months earlier but was now a possibility for Sophie. Assuming she could find anyone willing to marry her while she wore a wedding dress…

The hotel conference room that Ellen and Amelie had chosen for the wedding ceremony was vast, but still crammed full of the women’s family and friends, along with a handful of businessmen and dignitaries that had been invited by Amelie's father. Sniffles could be heard throughout the room as the two women exchanged their vows in English and in French, and when the humanist minister declared them married, loud cheers and applause went up from everyone assembled- including, to the surprise of many, from Monsieur Masson. As Sophie stood waiting while the photographs were being taken, she allowed herself to become lost in thought before she was interrupted by one of the other bride’s bridesmaids.

“Hey,” Natalie said, momentarily startling Sophie. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Umm, yeah, fine. Yourself?”

“I just saw my little sister marry the girl of her dreams,” Natalie replied with a chuckle. “I’m doing fine, yeah! And I’m stood here wearing a bridesmaid’s dress in the right colour, heh!”

“If you say so,” Sophie said with a derisive snort of laughter as Natalie playfully swished her sky-blue gown. “Nice beehive by the way, Dusty.”

“Ah- yeah…” Natalie said with a sigh as she adjusted the hair that had been teased high atop her head. “The things we do for family, heh. Still, I’m stood less than 20 feet away from my dad while dressed like this, so I can’t complain, heh!”

“I know the feeling,” Sophie mused.

“I know you do,” Natalie said softly. “Would I be right in assuming that this is your first bridesmaid’s dress, though?”

“Well- yeah,” Sophie chuckled. “Hopefully not the last, heh. Though I was really surprised when Amelie asked me, you know? I mean, Ellen has both her sisters as her bridesmaids, right?”

“You’ve done a lot for Amelie over the last couple of years,” Natalie said. “For all of us, actually. I know better than anyone how not having, well, the ‘chemistry’ can sometimes make a person feel like an outsider in this community. I hope you don’t feel that way, Sophie.”

“Not anymore,” Sophie replied with a smile. “Tutu for life?”

“Too right,” Natalie said with a wide grin. “Where are the rest of the Project today, anyway? Thought there’d be more here from the airline.”

“On the last Saturday before Christmas?” Sophie retorted. “It HAS been a while since you left the airline, heh.”

“Heh, touché,” Natalie chuckled.

“I think everyone who’s back in time will be here for the reception, though,” Sophie said. “I know Amy will be, I think she’s just got back actually as she was only in Paris today. Hayley was in Madrid, so she’s got a bit further to fly back.”

“Ah, the famous Team ASH!” Natalie teased, giggling as Sophie blushed. “Oh, don’t look so coy, I think it’s a cute nickname. Heh, people still call me, Zoe, Jess and Paige the ‘four nations’, heh. And you know what? I’m proud of that. Even though I don’t work for the airline anymore- heh, none of us do, come to think about it- there’s still a sisterhood there that I’m proud to be a part of.”

“Definitely,” Sophie said. “And it’s good to know that sisterhood will be there even after I leave the airline, heh.”

“Second book nearly done?” Natalie whispered, smiling sympathetically as her friend nodded. “I’m sure it’ll sell millions, heh. Definitely enough to make up for the lost income from the airline, heh.”

“Fingers crossed,” Sophie said, before grinning as the photographs finished and the wedding party was ushered to the dinner tables that had been laid out for them.

After a filling gourmet meal prepared by one of Paris's most exclusive chefs and the traditional speeches, including a more moving speech than anyone was expecting from Amelie’s father, the tables were cleared away to allow the newlyweds to share their first dance as a married couple. Sophie found herself captivated as the two women swayed to the music, allowing herself to be caught up in the moment to the extent that she didn’t even notice when the music finished and the dancefloor began to fill, while the married couple made their way over to where she was sat.

“Yoo-hoo!” Ellen cooed, derailing Sophie’s train of thought as she snapped her fingers in front of her. “Earth to Soph?”

“Hmm?” Sophie replied, momentarily startled by the northern woman’s teasing. “Ugh, sorry Ellen, you- you were great out there, both of you.”

“Thank you,” Ellen said with a smug grin that was shared by her new wife. “You not dancing yourself then?”

“Ah- nah,” Sophie replied with a shake of her head. “Two left feet crammed into uncomfortable shoes, heh.”

“Well, we will not force you,” Amelie said with a gentle smile. “The whole theme of this wedding could be ‘do what you like doing and not what you do not like doing’, heh.”

“I guess,” Sophie said as she took a sip of her champagne.

“But with that in mind,” Ellen said, taking a deep, nervous breath. “We- we both wanted to ask you something. It’s something that we’ve been thinking about for a while, and we thought that today- well, now, actually- would be the best time to ask you. We- erm, I mean, will you- like, ugh, what’s the best way to word this…”

“We- we would like your sperm,” Amelie said bluntly, making Sophie nearly drop her drink.

“I- I’m sorry, what?” Sophie asked.

“You heard what my father said before the ceremony,” Amelie said. “How he wished that we could give him grandchildren. Well, we both also wish to become mothers one day. Not soon, but some day. And for that, obviously, we need sperm.”

“…MY sperm?” Sophie asked.

“You were the best choice,” Ellen shrugged. “You’re a close friend- close enough to be a bridesmaid, for crying out loud- you’re trustworthy, intelligent… And, well, from a practicality standpoint, you- you’re, well…”

“Still 100% ‘chemically male’?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as Ellen blushed and nodded.

“I know that taking oestrogen doesn’t automatically mean that a trans woman’s going to go sterile overnight, or even eventually,” Ellen said. “But if we’re going to go down the IVF route, well, we need to give ourselves the best possible chance.”

“Well- what about your sister’s sperm?” Sophie asked, musing on how ‘ordinary’ it felt to say such an otherwise unusual phrase.

“…Well, for one thing, I’M the one who’s going to carry the baby,” Ellen replied, making Sophie blush. “So, well, ew, but also… Nat really, REALLY wants a kid. Even if I wasn’t carrying the baby, it just wouldn’t be fair on her for her to see her kid all the time being paraded around as her nephew or niece.”

“Well- okay then,” Sophie said with a sigh. “I would be honoured to, well, ‘donate’, heh.” The euphemism caused the three brown-haired women shared an excited giggle.

“Obviously we shall not need it immediately,” Amelie said. “I am only twenty-two- only just twenty-two, hehe! And Ellen is only twenty-four so she shall be the same. But it can be frozen for when we need it.”

“Thank you so, so much for this,” Ellen said softly. “It really means a lot to us. Heh, not sure how we’re going to repay you for it but we- we’ll find a way.”

“Especially if I am to not lose my father’s money,” Amelie said with a sly grin. “But you must now excuse us, for we have a tradition to do!” Sophie grinned as Francine and Sasha approached the table and handed Amelie and Ellen respectively their bouquets, before accompanying Sophie to the centre of the room where the rest of the single women were gathered.

“Okay!” Ellen said as she was helped onto a table by her older brother. “Keep it clean, I don’t want any of you ladies going home in an ambulance. Or worse yet, with a ruined dress!” Sophie smirked as she lined up at the back of the huddle, before watching as Ellen threw her bouquet over her shoulder. Sophie made a half-hearted attempt to reach for it but stood back when she saw it wasn't heading toward her, instead smiling as it landed in the hands of one of Amelie’s cousins.

“My turn now!” Amelie giggled as her new brother-in-law helped her onto the table. “On trois! Ready? Un, deux, trois!” Sophie watched again as the bouquet flew away from her, but her jaw dropped and her heart started to beat faster when she saw whose hands it landed in.

“W- wow, okay then!” The quiet voice of Rachel Lyscombe said, giggling nervously as she posed for a photograph with the bouquet before handing it back to an attendant. Sophie bit her lip and took a deep breath before approaching the blonde young woman.

“Well- um, congratulations, I guess!” Sophie said, momentarily startling her friend.

“Oh- umm, hi Soph!” Rachel chuckled. “Yeah… I- I kinda don’t get that whole superstition, heh.”

“You still caught the bouquet, though,” Sophie teased, smirking as her friend rolled her eyes.

“Let’s not even go there,” Rachel chuckled as she and Sophie headed toward the vast room’s bar and ordered themselves each a glass of champagne. “Though I will say that this is by far the biggest and fanciest wedding I’ve ever been to, heh!”

“You’d expect nothing less, given who’s bankrolling it!” Sophie chuckled as she gestured over Rachel’s shoulder to where Amelie’s father was sat talking to several other middle-aged businessmen. Sophie frowned, though, when Rachel shuddered at the sight of him.

“I’m going to have a really, really hard time ever forgiving that man,” Rachel explained in a dark, quiet voice, before shaking her head. “Meh, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” Sophie whispered, remembering the circumstances- especially the trauma- surrounding her friend's departure from the airline.

“I’m fine, honestly,” Rachel said firmly. “I- ugh. Even seven months on everybody keeps asking me if I’m fine.”

“Because we all care about you,” Sophie said with a shrug. “Because we- we all love you, Rachel. You’re still our friend and always will be, even if you don’t work for the airline anymore.”

“…Thanks,” Rachel whispered, before finishing her champagne and asking for another glass. Sophie bit her lip as an awkward silence fell over the two of them.

“So, umm…” Sophie mumbled. “How- umm, how are your sisters?”

“Same as always,” Rachel shrugged. “Lizzie’s just started secondary school, so she thinks she’s this big grown-up all of a sudden, heh.”

“Heh,” Sophie chuckled. “So, umm, are- are you, umm, seeing anyone right now?” Sophie bit her lip as Rachel shot her an angry glare, before sighing.

“I- ugh,” the blonde girl sighed. “No, no I’m not seeing anyone, and I’m not planning to, but- ugh. Soph, I- I like you, I really do, but just as a friend. I mean- it’s not that I wouldn’t, I mean, I’m not, like, gay or anything, and I know you don’t always identify solely as male or female ‘cause that wouldn’t be an issue, but- umm, you- you weren’t, you know, ‘enquiring’, were you?” Sophie bit her lip as her friend’s cheeks reddened- while her enquiry had only been out of friendly curiosity, the truth was that she did find Rachel attractive, and always had. However, she also knew that after what Rachel had gone through, a relationship- particularly with someone as unsure of themselves as Sophie- would be the last thing she needed. No matter how lonely, how single Sophie felt, she knew that she had to put her friend’s feelings before her own.

“…No,” Sophie whispered, averting her gaze. “I was just, umm, you know, curious.” Sophie grimaced as she finished her champagne before taking another glass.

“Oh,” Rachel said, before taking a deep breath to calm herself. “I- I’m sorry I haven’t been to the Sunday morning classes much lately, I- I’ve had a lot on my mind, what with uni and stuff.”

“That’s okay,” Sophie said with a shrug as she hastily downed her champagne and took yet another glass. “They- umm, tomorrow there isn’t one ‘cause of, you know, Christmas… Ooh, are- are you, you know, doing anything for Christmas?”

“Just spending it with family, really,” Rachel replied, before taking a long gulp from her glass. “Ugh, Soph, it- I think we should maybe start this conversation again, you know?”

“Not a bad idea,” Sophie chuckled, taking another long gulp of her champagne and turning her back to Rachel, before turning back around with a smile on her face. “Oh, hi Rach! Didn’t know you were here today!”

“Oh, hi Soph!” Rachel said enthusiastically, causing the two women to break down in a fit of giggles. “I love your bridesmaid’s dress!”

“Thank you!” Sophie said as she playfully swished the long skirt of her gown. “Your dress is cute too- which I mean in a friendly way, hehe!”

“Thanks!” Rachel giggled, doing a slow twirl to show off her elegant lilac pencil dress. “Early Christmas present from my mum, heh!”

“Nice,” Sophie giggled. “I- ooh, I dunno if I told you, but I- I might be getting a dress from my mum for Christmas too, I- I’m back in contact, I’m out, hehe! And proud, and- yeah. It is a HUGE weight off my shoulders, seriously.”

“Yeah, I was there for the Sunday morning lesson after you came out, remember?” Rachel reminded her increasingly tipsy friend.

“Oh- yeah, that’s true,” Sophie giggled.

“Though I am still really, really happy for you,” Rachel said with a friendly smile. “You know what this calls for?”

“More champagne?” Sophie asked, giggling as her blonde friend squeaked excitedly.

“Read my mind!” Rachel giggled as she and Sophie grabbed another glass each.

Sophie felt her eyes sting and her head throb as she returned to the land of the living the following morning. Her hair was matted, her make-up had stained her pillowcase and her stomach was churning. Sophie took some comfort from the fact that she hadn’t' fallen asleep in her expensive bridesmaid's dress, but that didn’t change the fact that she felt like hell… However, that feeling changed when she rolled over to discover that she was not alone in bed. Sophie smirked as she nudged the slender female form next to her awake, grinning as the woman rolled over and Sophie found herself staring into the gentle blue eyes… Of Amy Harris.

“AAAHHH!” the two women simultaneously yelled as they jumped out of opposite sides of the bed, Sophie wrapping the top sheet around her while Amy covered herself with her duvet.

“What- what are you doing here!?” Sophie shrieked.

“Me!?” Amy hissed. “What- what the fuck, Sophie?”

“What do you mean, ‘what the fuck’?” Sophie growled. “Did we- oh god, we- we didn’t, did we?” Sophie bit her lip nervously as Amy fidgeted and licked her lips uncomfortably.

“…Either that I had a massive curry last night, or- yeah, we did…” Amy grimaced.

“Oh- oh my god Amy, I am so, SO sorry…” Sophie whimpered.

“You- what makes you so sure I didn’t come onto you?” Amy groaned as both women started to calm down and sat on opposite sides of the bed.

“I- I don’t even remember you arriving at the reception last night,” Sophie mumbled.

“I got there late,” Amy sighed, closing her eyes to try to shake the cobwebs from her brain. “I remember that you were already pretty hammered, and you kept giving me glasses of champagne…”

“Oh my god,” Sophie groaned. “I- I did, didn’t I? I took advantage of you? Some feminist I am…”

“Sophie, you were WAY more plastered than I was,” Amy reassured her friend. “I definitely remember you throwing up at one point, then I suggested that you should go to bed, then- ugh, yep.”

“…What?” Sophie asked.

“I- umm, I- I may have been the one to initiate the first kiss…” Amy grimaced. “I mean- ugh, I’d had plenty myself, and you- okay, you looked REALLY cute in your dress, even after you’d thrown up, and- well, that’s what happened, apparently.”

“But- but we still-“ Sophie said hesitantly.

“You were plastered, not paralytic,” Amy groaned as she laid back on the bed, huddling the quilt around her.

“But I thought- I thought you didn’t, umm, you know…” Sophie mumbled.

“Didn’t- didn’t what?” Amy asked.

“I thought you, you know, only slept with women…” Sophie mumbled.

“…Trans women ARE women,” Amy retorted. “Even if you, you know, aren’t anatomically female, or even chemically, but you present as- ugh. Let- let’s just pretend this didn’t happen, okay? We were both drunk, we both made a mistake, lesson learned, move on.”

“O- okay,” Sophie said, biting her lip as she and Amy gazed into each other’s eyes momentarily, before averting their gaze. “We- we NEVER tell Hayley about this, okay?”

“Uh- ya think?” Amy snorted as she scooped her discarded underwear off the floor. “…Gonna let me get dressed, maybe?”

“Wha- really?” Sophie asked. “Even after what we- no, okay, fine.” Sophie bit her lip and grimaced as she hauled herself and her sheet into the room’s en-suite, groaning as she lowered herself onto the toilet and tried to recall the events of the previous night.

It wasn’t that Sophie found Amy unattractive- on the contrary, if Sophie had met any other girl who had the same slender body, flame-coloured hair and cute freckles as Amy, Sophie would’ve been immediately drawn to her. But Amy wasn’t any other girl- she was one of Sophie’s best friends, if not her BFF. Sophie had always felt that the notion of a ‘BFF’ was silly- ‘James’ had naturally drifted apart from all the friends he’d made at school or university, something she’d assumed everyone did. However, within months of meeting Amy and Hayley, Sophie knew that they would remain a part of her life forever. Sophie never expected, however, for Amy to be a part of her life in the way she’d been the previous night. As she continued to think, though, Sophie remembered what Amy had said- that it had been her, not Sophie, who initiated the 'encounter'. Even if Amy had been looking through beer goggles, a part of her had found Sophie attractive enough to want to spend the night with her. Regardless of how they both reacted when they woke up in the cold light of day, Sophie began to wonder whether or not a relationship might be possible between her and Amy- however, before she could explore that thought any further, she was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.

“I’m done,” Amy said, smiling sympathetically as Sophie opened the door. “I, um, I- I’ll use the loo in my own room, heh.”

“Oh, I- I don’t mind if you need to, umm…” Sophie mumbled.

“N- no, it’s okay,” Amy whispered. “I’ve only just put my ‘tucking knickers’ on, it always takes me ages to, well, ‘rearrange’ things, I- I’ll be okay in my own room.”

“If you’re sure,” Sophie whispered, biting her lip as an awkward silence fell over the two women. Sophie and Amy each took a deep breath as they slowly leaned in toward each other, only to flinch and back away.

“I- umm, I- I should go,” Amy mumbled.

“Ye- yeah,” Sophie replied, before groaning and flopping down on her bed once her friend was out of sight.

As she walked back down the hotel corridor to her room, Amy had to bite her lip to keep herself from screaming in frustration. Just as Sophie did regarding her, Amy considered the brown-haired woman to be one of her best friends, if not her best friend full stop. However, Amy hadn’t once thought of Sophie in a romantic or even purely physical way before, regardless of how much their friends teased them about the 'potential' their 'relationship' had. And yet, as she walked away, Amy couldn’t stop thinking about the night they’d shared, or even their first kiss, and whether or not their friends were right- whether they would make a good couple…

After she’d showered, fixed her make-up and tied her hair back into a loose ponytail, Sophie covered herself with a warm turtleneck sweater dress and a pair of opaque black tights before slipping her feet into a pair of comfy Ugg boots and heading down to the hotel restaurant, where many of her friends were already enjoying their breakfasts. However, as Sophie scanned the room, she was able to quickly deduce that Amy was not among them. After grabbing a bowl of cereal and a large mug of black coffee, Sophie made her way to the table where several of her friends were sat, all of whom greeted her with smiles and made a space for her to sit down before Sophie had even had the chance to ask.

“Thanks,” Sophie said with a smile as she sat down between Natalie and Paige.

“You’re welcome,” Natalie said with a smug grin. “So… Good night last night?” The Mancunian woman frowned with confusion as the question made Sophie nearly choke on her corn flakes.

“Umm, I- I’m sorry?” Sophie squeaked as she tried to clear her throat.

“Last… Night?” Natalie asked, confused by her friend’s panic. “Come on, don’t be so shy, we all saw what happened.”

“You- you saw!?” Sophie asked, her voice pitching even higher.

“Oui…” Zoe said, equally as confused as her spouse. “The amount of champagne you drank?”

“You gave Snikki a run for their money!” Jessica teased as Sophie sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I- I wasn’t, you know, ‘bad’, was I?” Sophie asked. “Like, no, umm, dancing or singing, or other things… right?”

“Nah, believe me, you weren’t on your feet that long!” Paige replied, giggling as Sophie rolled her eyes again. “Have you seen Amy this morning?” the four women looked on in confusion as Sophie again nearly choked on her coffee.

“Are you okay, Sophie?” Jessica asked with a concerned look on her face.

“Oh- umm, yep,” Sophie squeaked as she cleared her throat again. “Just not, you know, used to an interrogation when I’m hungover.”

“You’re a journalist, consider this payback,” Natalie said with a smug grin.

“I’m only asking as I’m sure I saw her at the reception,” Paige said. “I’d promised her I’d talk to her about SRS before we fly back.”

“Same here,” Jessica said. “I think she’s looking at going in for it next summer, isn’t she?”

“Oh- umm, you’d need to ask her, I’m not 100% sure,” Sophie replied.

“Really?” Paige asked. “I always thought you two were joined at the hip.” Sophie hastily swallowed her cereal and took a deep breath so as to avoid choking on her food again. “Well, you two and Hayley, anyway. Well, okay, you three and Francine now, heh!”

“Though I still say nothing beats the ‘four nations’, heh!” Natalie chuckled.

“Why do I sense another tattoo coming on?” Jessica asked, before her eyes widened as she gazed toward the entrance of the restaurant. “Ooh, please be upstanding!” The five women at the table all giggled excitedly- even Sophie, despite her hungover and stressed state- and applauded as Amelie and Ellen entered the room hand in hand. The two newlyweds blushed as they walked through the sea of their friends to the special table that had been set aside for them. As they passed the table where Sophie was sat, the couple briefly glanced over at the brown-haired woman, who mouthed ‘later’ at the couple- an action that however subtle, still earned confused looks from her friends.

“What was that about?” Paige asked confusedly.

“Oh, it- it’s nothing,” Sophie replied bashfully, conscious of what Ellen had told her last night about Natalie. “They just- they just asked me to do a favour for them. Like, journalistically, that sort of thing.”

“I never realised that wanking into a cup counted as journalism,” Natalie snorted, making Sophie cringe and their friends frown with confusion. “Then again, it’s still probably got more journalistic value than what you get from the Sun, or the Mail, or Fox News and all that shit, heh.”

“It’s also a bit of a non sequitur to bring THAT up at the breakfast table,” Jessica said as Sophie blushed.

“…You know, then?” Sophie asked her Mancunian friend.

“Ellen’s never been able to keep secrets from me,” Natalie said quietly, before taking a deep breath and explaining for her wife and her friends. “Ellen and Amelie want to have children eventually, and obviously need a sperm donor. And, well, me and Sophie are the only people- not just at this table, but in our entire, like, 'group', who are, well, still ‘equipped’ for it, chemically, like. Ellen’s talked about being the one to carry the baby so obviously I can’t, well, ‘donate’, which just leaves Soph.”

“…Basically that,” Sophie confirmed as Jessica and Paige quietly nodded their head, while Natalie’s wife closed her eyes.

“You- you still want for us to have children, do you not?” Zoe asked quietly.

“Eventually,” Natalie replied almost immediately. “When you’re ready, ONLY when you’re ready. I’d- I would rather not have children at all if it means I can’t have them with you. I mean that, Zoe.” Sophie, Jessica and Paige all breathe quiet sighs of relief as their French friend smiled sympathetically.

“I know,” Zoe whispered. “Ugh, and I- I apologise if it made this breakfast awkward. It is something of which we speak often, but always in private.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Jessica said. “Me and Paige, we- we’re thinking of adopting too.”

“Neither of us, well, made any ‘deposits’ at a ‘bank’, so adoption’s our only option,” Paige explained. “But, well, we’ve been thinking of starting a family, so- yeah.”

“And the charity we work for, my aunt’s charity, has a lot of experience assisting same-sex couples with- ah, umm, sorry, Soph, I think we may be ‘excluding’ you a bit from this conversation, heh!” Jessica chuckled.

“Oh- no, don’t stop on my account, heh!” Sophie chuckled. “As long as you don’t mind yet another interview for my book? I mean, I’ve already talked to Stuart and Jamie Milton about their experiences adopting as a transgender couple, so- yeah. It’ll be interesting to hear your perspective.”

“Of course, we’d be happy to help,” Jessica said softly. “I was just worried, you know, that, well…”

“I think Jess is trying to be sensitive about the fact that you’ve sat down with two married couples,” Paige said, giving her wife’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Oh- honestly, I’ve not got any problem there,” Sophie said, fidgeting as she realised that the Amy situation meant she wasn't being entirely truthful with her friends.

“That’s good,” Paige said with a friendly smile. “And you shouldn’t do, either- I’m sure there’s a perfect girl out there for you, just as there was for all four of us. Heh, probably even closer than you think!” Okay, you have GOT to know, Sophie thought to herself as she laughed nervously.

“Well, maybe,” Sophie shrugged. “Are you- are you guys heading straight to the airport from the hotel?”

“Yeah,” Jessica sighed. “Just going to make a quick stop off at home to make sure everything’s okay, then down to Baltimore for my brother’s birthday and Christmas, then down to Florida for the New Year, then right back to work on January 3rd, heh.”

“We don’t know when we’ll be back over here next,” Paige said. “But we definitely plan on coming over at least once in 2020, maybe for my mum’s birthday. If we do, we will stop over in London for a day or two.”

“Well, if you do, I’ll be sure to make time to say hi,” Sophie said. “Seeing as I’m the only one here who still actually works for the airline, heh!”

“Oh- aye!” Paige giggled. “Even if a couple of people here are now related to a relative of the owner of the airline…”

“Ooh, yes,” Jessica said with an excited squeak. “Do you know if Ellen’s going to stay with the airline? It’ll be a bit odd, Masson’s friends being served drinks by his own daughter-in-law.”

“Well, we might be about to find out,” Natalie whispered as she gestured to the entrance of the restaurant, where Antoine Masson himself had just appeared, flanked by his four other children and two bodyguards. Sophie bit her lip and watched as the billionaire passed by their table, giving a slight nod to everyone along the way, before sitting down at Amelie and Ellen’s table. Meanwhile, Sophie’s anxiety levels rose as Francine sat down at her table- accompanied by her three siblings.

“Ah, bonjour madames!” Francine said with an excited squeak. “Jessica, Paige, Natalie, Zoe and of course Sophie, these are my brothers and sisters! Henri, Antoine, Veronique, ce sont les amies que je me suis fait à Londres!”

“Bonjour,” Henri said quietly as he, his brother and his sister greeted the five women with polite handshakes before sitting down beside their youngest sibling. Sophie and her four friends couldn’t help but notice, though, that the older three Masson siblings all seemed uncomfortable to be in their presence- a feeling emphasised by the awkward silence that fell over the table.”

“So, umm,” Sophie mumbled. “Combien de temps restes-tu à Londres?”

“It is okay, they all speak good English,” Francine said with a smile and a roll of her eyes. “More than me, to be true.”

“…And to answer your question, we shall fly back tomorrow,” Henri replied curtly. “So our family is together for Christmas.”

“Toute notre famille,” Antoine said, leading to another awkward silence.

“I- I shall go and get some breakfast,” Francine said, standing up only to sit back down again when she saw a young man approach the table carrying a toddler, which immediately replaced her sister Veronique’s scowl with a wide grin.

“Mama!” The toddler yelled as he reached for Francine’s sister, who eagerly scooped him up for a cuddle.

“Aww, your son is a little cutie!” Natalie cooed. “How old is he?”

“He shall be two years next month,” Veronique replied with a smile that widened as her father approached the table.

“Grand-pere!” The little boy said, reaching for his grandfather who eagerly snatched him up for a cuddle.

“Je pensais avoir entendu mon petit homme préféré!” Monsieur Masson said with a playful chuckle.

“I- I think we’ll get out of your way,” Jessica said nervously. “We need to pack for our flight, and- yeah.”

“On one of our planes?” The younger Antoine asked with a smirk. “Or are you going to America?”

“To America, I’m afraid,” Jessica replied, earning a smirk from the young Frenchman.

“Perhaps soon,” Antoine Jr said with a smirk as the five women got up to leave the table, only for Sophie to freeze when her billionaire boss gave her a tap on the shoulder.

“You are Sophie, are you not?” Monsieur Masson asked, to which Sophie replied with a nervous nod. “Amelie has asked to speak to you.”

“M- merci, Monsieur Masson,” Sophie said, heading toward the newlyweds’ table as she pondered the surreal situation of one of Europe's richest men not only knowing who she was, but passing on a message to her like he was a mere errand boy. However, Sophie quickly reasoned that the billionaire had to have known who she was- after all, she did lead his employees in a strike against him earlier that year.

“Ah, bonjour Sophie!” Amelie said with an uncharacteristically wide smile as Sophie approached their table.

“Bonjour, MADAME Briggs-Masson et MADAME Briggs-Masson!” Sophie teased, making the two newlyweds giggle and blush. “Is it sinking in yet that you’re married?”

“It- it is after my father has spoken to us,” Amelie replied. “He- he is happy, truly happier than I have known him for a long time.”

“I think it’s because he can see we’re happy,” Ellen said. “Like, truly happy.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sophie said with a smile. “Though I get the impression you asked me over here is because of the favour you asked me last night?”

“Oui,” Amelie whispered.

“Yeah, we- I mean, we’re not going to need your, well, ‘contribution’ immediately,” Ellen said. “It will be years, seriously- years before we try to conceive. But we, you know, figure that the sooner we, well, get the ball rolling-“ Ellen and Sophie both grimaced as Amelie giggled at the remark.

“…Sorry,” Amelie chuckled, giving her new wife a gentle kiss to make up for her faux pas. “But that was not a good choice of words, hehe!”

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Ellen said, giving her new wife a gentle nudge with her elbow. “We want to get this, well, ‘sorted’ as soon as possible, more for your sake than anything else.”

“Well- thanks, but you needn’t rush on my behalf,” Sophie said.

“It is okay,” Amelie said softly. “We do not want it distracting you. And the only rules they have are that you must not have had sex in the last seven days.” Sophie felt her tension levels rise as once again, the previous night's 'activities' were unknowingly alluded to by her friends.

“Or, well, ‘played solitaire’,” Ellen said with a teasing giggle. “So, can we try to slot you in as soon as possible?”

“I-“ Sophie said hesitantly as her mind raced. “Well, umm, you’re not going to fit me in this close to Christmas anyway, so how about we look into it in the new year?”

“Okay,” Ellen said with a shrug. “We’ll probably be on honeymoon by then anyway, so we’ll contact you when we return… Even though we, umm, won’t be returning to London.”

“Oh- what?” Sophie asked, startled by the revelation.

“Oui,” Amelie said. “We shall be living in Paris, in a home bought by my father.”

“Aren’t you still at uni in London?” Sophie asked.

“I shall be transferring to Sorbonne University in the new year,” Amelie replied. “Another gift arranged by my father. He has decided that we have been angry with each other for too long. And for once, I will agree with him.”

“What- if you don’t mind me asking, what’s brought this on all of a sudden?” Sophie asked.

“Well- yesterday, mostly,” Ellen replied.

“It has taken until I am twenty-two and married for my father to accept that I am an adult and should be let to make my own choices,” Amelie said. “Even if he does sometimes get things wrong.”

“He wanted us to go to Dubai for our honeymoon,” Ellen explained. “He did actually need the problem with THAT pointing out to him, heh.”

“Well, quite,” Sophie said. “So- what will you be doing in Paris, Ellen?”

“Umm, I DO speak fluent French, it’s not like I won’t just be stuck indoors all day,” the Mancunian woman retorted. “Amelie’s dad has found me a role behind the scenes with his company, I’ll be kept busy enough.”

“As shall I,” Amelie said with a proud grin. “With the flying lessons I shall be taking starting in March!”

“It’s about time!” Sophie said, before leaning down for a hug with the two women. “I am happy for you, I really am. We will have to have a going away party for you at some point, though.”

“This close to Christmas?” Amelie asked with a devious grin. “But it is okay. Last night was both wedding reception and going-away party, heh!”

“What better day for a party than the longest night of the year?” Ellen asked with a grin.

“Well- I’ll miss the both of you, I really will,” Sophie said softly.

“Not least because it makes you one of the longest-serving stewardesses in London!” Ellen teased, widening Sophie’s eyes.

“I- god, I hadn’t even thought of that,” Sophie sighed. “Not bad for someone who was only going to stay for six months, heh.”

“You were always going to be part of the family,” Amelie said softly as she gave Sophie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “And be sure and tell Amy too.”

“A- Amy?” Sophie asked nervously.

“Yes, Amy that you are living with,” Amelie said. “And Hayley. I would send a message through Francine but she pouted at our father so she shall not be back at work OR in London until third January.”

“Typical baby sister,” Ellen said with a smug smirk as her younger sister approached the table, her fingers interlinked with those of a slender ginger-haired man.

“Very funny,” Sasha snorted. “It- it’s Sophie, right? Natalie told me to find you, said they’ve headed off to pack their suitcases, but they’ll be in the bar for a bit if you want to catch up.”

“Thanks,” Sophie replied. “I should probably pack my travel case as well, heh.” Sophie bit her lip nervously as she faced the newly arrived young man. “Oh, I- I don’t think we’ve been introduced, I’m Sophie, Sophie Connelly.”

“Kurt Vance,” the young man replied in a distinctive accent. “Nice to meet you.”

“Thanks,” Sophie said with a smile. “If- if you don’t mind me asking, umm…” Sophie frowned as the young man and his girlfriend started to fidget awkwardly.

“…Yes,” Kurt sighed. “Despite the trousers, I- well, my name hasn’t always been ‘Kurt’ and there hasn’t always been an ‘M’ on my passport.” Sophie’s eyes widened as she realised what the young man was implying.

“Oh- oh, god no, I didn’t mean THAT,” Sophie said flusteredly. “I mean, I’m transgender myself, so that- that really isn’t an issue, heh. I was actually going to ask what part of America you’re from?”

“Umm, the part of America that isn’t part of the United States of America,” Kurt replied, earning a confused look from Sophie. “I’m from Winnipeg, in Canada.”

“Ah, okay,” Sophie cringed. “Two faux pas in thirty seconds means I should probably go now, heh.”

“Don’t- don’t worry about it, I get that all the time,” Kurt reassured Sophie. “Honestly, the first time I met Sasha I thought she was Irish, heh.” Sophie giggled as the young couple leaned in for a gentle hug.

“Did you tell him about the book?” Amelie asked her sister-in-law quietly, earning a look of realisation from Kurt.

“Oh, you- you’re THAT Sophie?” The Canadian trans man asked. “Ah, yes, Sasha did mention that actually, and I’d be happy to help in any way I can.”

“Thanks,” Sophie whispered. “I, umm, I really need to go and pack now, but you can go ahead and add me on Facebook, I’m friends with everyone here so you should be able to find me easily enough.”

“Sure,” Kurt said, giving Sophie another handshake before she exchanged hugs with the three women and headed out of the hotel restaurant.

As she headed back to her room, Sophie found herself distracted by something she said to Kurt- that she was transgender. Without any qualification, she had proudly stated that she was living her life as a different gender to the one she was born into. And the more Sophie thought about it, the more she realised she WAS proud to be transgender, even if she felt that she wasn't 'as' transgender as many of her friends. She was proud to be part of a community, to have friends who supported her freedom to live her life- HER life- the way she wanted. Even if she still 'reserved' the identity of ‘James’, it didn’t change the fact that the woman she was, was loved by many, including her own family.

However, as she turned the corner onto her corridor, she found herself face to face with the last person she wanted to see.

“Oh- umm, hi Amy,” Sophie said, flinching as the ginger-haired woman glared at her.

“H- hi Soph,” Amy replied. “I- I’m just, you know, heading home, got everything packed…”

“Yeah, me- me too,” Sophie said. “Well, umm, once I have packed, I- umm, I- I like your skirt…”

“Thanks,” Amy whispered as she playfully swished her ankle-length garment. “I- ugh. Soph, we- we really can’t go on like this, I mean, we live together for god’s sake, it’s not like we’re never going to run into each other…”

“I agree,” Sophie whispered. “Like you said earlier, let- let’s just pretend this never happened.”

“Ye- yeah,” Amy said, before sighing. “Though I- I’m not sure that I can. But- ugh. Let- let’s talk when we get home, okay? Really kinda not the time or the place for it right now.”

“Agreed,” Sophie said, awkwardly leaning in for a hug with her friend before sighing and allowing Amy to pass her by.

Sophie wasted no time in packing her own bags and, after saying a quick goodbye to her friends in the hotel’s restaurant and bar, headed straight home in the hope of having a more productive talk with Amy. Sophie steeled herself for the talk when she heard the sound of the television coming from the living room, but when she entered the room, it wasn't Amy who greeted her.

“Hello Miss Bridesmaid!” Hayley teased Sophie, giggling as her friend rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t be so coy, you DID look cute in that bridesmaid’s dress!”

“Well- yeah,” Sophie said with a smug grin.

“Sucks SO much that I had to miss it,” Hayley sighed. “But, like, with it being the Saturday before Christmas, I’m amazed the airline could spare ANYONE.”

“I know I had to use some of my leave just to attend,” Sophie sighed.

“But was it worth it?” Hayley asked, frowning with confusion as her flatmate’s eyes widened. “…The wedding? Especially the reception, hehe!”

“Oh- yeah,” Sophie chuckled nervously. “Tot- totally worth it, hehe!”

“Glad to hear it,” Hayley said. “I was worried that, you know, there was a big kicking off or something, Amy was acting weird when she came back too.”

“A- Amy?” Sophie stammered.

“Yes…” Hayley replied. “You know, the ginger girl who’s lived with us for the last 2 years? Seriously, Soph, what IS it with you two today? She was acting all weird as well.”

“Oh- nothing, nothing really…” Sophie mumbled.

“Right…” Hayley said, unconvinced by her friend's insistence. “Well, either way, Amy told me to tell you she’s gone home to her family for Christmas, she won’t be back until the evening of Christmas Day itself, so- well, yeah. Dunno why she couldn’t tell you herself, but whatever.”

“Well- yeah…” Sophie mumbled.

“If you two have fallen out,” Hayley sighed, “please sort it out BEFORE Christmas? We may live in London, but we don't live in Walford, for god’s sake.”

“Yes, yes, okay,” Sophie snapped, before sighing. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry Hayley, I just- ugh. Long weekend, tiring weekend…”

“Erm, okay,” Hayley said. “Not sure I’d call it as tiring as flying back and forth to Berlin, but- yeah. Best not to fight about it, hehe! I’ll let you get unpacked, as long as you show off the dress for me, pretty please?” Sophie giggled as Hayley playfully batted her eyelashes at her, before grimacing as she realised why her travel bag was lighter than expected.

“Ah, I- I may have kinda- kinda left the dress at the hotel…” Sophie grimaced, mentally leaving ‘I was in such a rush to get out of there’ off the end of her sentence.

“Oh- what?” Hayley asked with a sad frown. “Soph, I know you’re not as, like, ‘lifelong’ as me or Amy, but you’ve been going on about that dress for weeks…”

“I know, I- ugh,” Sophie spat. “I- I’ll text Francine, see if I can get her to drop it back on her way to the airport.”

“It’s going to be quiet without those two over Christmas,” Hayley mused as Sophie composed her text message. “Heh, appropriate for ‘team SH’, right? And outside of work it’s been ages since it was just the two of us hanging out, right?”

“A bit, yeah,” Sophie chuckled.

“It seems like you’re always too busy hanging out with Amy,” Hayley mused, not noticing as Sophie nearly dropped her phone.

“Well- nah,” Sophie said dismissively. “Team ASH is, and always will be, a-“ Sophie paused as the word she was about to say caught in her throat- however, her friend quickly finished her sentence for her.

“…You were going to say ‘threesome’, weren’t you?” Hayley teased her friend, whose cheeks immediately flushed.

“…Trio,” Sophie clarified. “Team ASH is a trio and always will be.”

“Even if all three of us have technically shared a bed?” Hayley asked playfully.

“I- we have not,” Sophie said defensively.

“Except Manchester last year?” Hayley asked. “After Nat and Zoe’s wedding?”

“Well, I- I meant, like, sexually…” Sophie mumbled.

“Well, yes, obviously,” Hayley chuckled. “I mean, as much as I tease you and Amy, it is kinda a complication Team ASH doesn’t need right now, heh!”

“Yeah,” Sophie replied with a hasty chuckle, before taking a stealthy deep breath. “Do you- umm, do you want me to cook, or shall we order a pizza or something?”

“Pizza’s fine if we’re both tired,” Hayley replied. “As long as Amy won’t get jealous about us sharing our food?” Hayley giggled as Sophie playfully threw a cushion at her before heading into her bedroom to unpack.

A short while later, Sophie returned to the living room dressed in a comfortable pair of leggings and a long sweatshirt and dropped herself onto the sofa next to her friend. After the mania of the previous 48 hours, Sophie was glad to have the opportunity to relax, but she still felt frustrated that not only had Amy gone home to Kent- after previously saying that they’d talk when Sophie returned home- but she hadn’t even said goodbye before she left.

Sophie opted for an early night that night as she had an early flight the following morning, but before she climbed into bed, she sat at her dressing table, racking her brains as she tried to compose a text message to her absent friend.

‘Missed you at home today,’ the text message read. ‘Let me know when you’ll be back in London. Soph x.’

In her bed in her parents’ home, Amy read the text message over and over as she tried to decipher her scrambled feelings toward her flatmate. Regardless of how or why Sophie came into her life, Amy was glad that she was there. Sophie was one of the very best friends Amy had ever had, and she couldn’t imagine her life without her in it- but at the same time, Amy struggled to work out exactly what role she wanted Sophie to play in her life. She loved Sophie- there was no point in denying otherwise. But Amy couldn’t figure out whether or not she was in love with Sophie…

“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!” The playful voice of Amy’s mother said as she shook her daughter awake.

“Ugh, yes, yes, I’m awake,” Amy moaned, sighing as she brushed her long ginger hair from her face and her mouth. “You don’t need to be THIS enthusiastic this early, you know…”

“Well, I’m sorry if I’m excited to be spending the day with my granddaughter!” Mrs Harris retorted. “What time are we picking her up from her mother’s house?”

“Umm, 10am, if I remember rightly,” Amy replied. “Assuming Kerry hasn’t given her a late breakfast or something, anyway…”

“Well, today has been arranged well in advance, and Kerry knows that,” Mrs Harris reminded her daughter. “And more to the point, you know that too. Why are you so distracted today, anyway? Normally when we’re spending the day with Jade, you’re the one waking me up.”

“Ugh, it- it was a long weekend,” Amy replied. “Like I told you last night, I was at a friend’s wedding, and-“ Amy paused and bit her lip as she tried futilely to find a way of wording the previous night's events that she could tolerating thinking, let alone saying.

“It’s okay, I get it, I get it, I was young once,” Amy’s mother interrupted with a sympathetic smile. “But you’ve got tomorrow to recover, today’s about your daughter. And I know today will be difficult. So just try to relax and enjoy it- this is the closest to Christmas that you’ve ever been able to spend time with Jade.”

“Yeah, I know,” Amy sighed as she swung her legs out of bed and wrapped her warm red dressing gown around her. However, as she padded downstairs to the kitchen, her thoughts were still on the text message she’d received the previous night…

After eating and showering, Amy headed to her room to get ready for the day ahead, returning to the living room a short while later wearing a tight, just shorter than knee-length mauve sweater dress, accessorised with a wide black belt, dark tights and her favourite pair of knee-high boots with a 4” chucky heel. As she so often did, Amy felt cute, strong and feminine, and as often happened many times before, Amy knew her appearance would attract male attention while she was out, however disinterested she was in it. For the first time ever, though, Amy found herself wondering what reaction Sophie would’ve had to her appearance.

“You look very nice, Amy,” Mr Harris said as the family headed out to his car.

“Thanks, dad,” Amy said with a sigh as she elegantly slid onto the back seat of the car, making sure that the car seat next to her was firmly secured in place. “Are all the presents in the boot?”

“Don’t worry, I double and triple-checked we had everything before we left,” Amy’s father replied. “And I know this won’t be easy for you, but try to cheer up- after all, it’s nearly Christmas!”

“Yeah,” Amy chuckled nervously as the car set off on the short journey to Jade and her mother's house.

A short while later, the car pulled up outside the house of Amy’s ex-girlfriend, and the ginger-haired girl tried to brace herself for the usual onslaught of emotions, but found herself almost hyperventilating when she failed to shake the Sophie situation from her mind. However, Amy’s heart swelled as the front door opened and a little girl with brown hair came running out with a wide grin on her face… only for her heart to shatter when the girl opened her mouth to speak.

“Auntie Amy!” The girl squeaked excitedly, giving the ginger-haired woman a quick hug before quickly moving on to the other occupants of the car. “Grandma! Grandpa!”

“Hello Jade!” Amy’s father beamed, snatching the little girl up for a quick cuddle. “Are you looking forward to Christmas?” The three adults all cooed happily as the little girl nodded.

“We’ll have her back to you by 5pm,” Amy’s mother said as she took Jade's travel bag from the girl’s mother.

“Okay,” Kerry said, a smile spreading across her face as she addressed her daughter. “You have fun with Grandma and Grandpa, okay?”

“I will mummy!” Jade replied with a giggle.

“And your AUNTIE Amy,” Kerry said quietly as she shot an angry glare at the father of her child, who squirmed as she fastened her daughter into her car seat before driving away.

"Will daddy be coming today as well?" Jade asked innocently, unaware of the pain she caused her father- and that the woman sat next to her on the back seat of the car WAS her father.

"He's very busy," Amy explained as she tried desperately to keep herself from breaking down. "He- he's still living away. In America. But- but he told me to tell you that he loves you very, very much, and always will."

"Oh, okay," Jade said, the disappointment on her face further shattering Amy's heart.

"Oh come on, cheer up Jade!" Amy's mother said, trying her hardest to sound as enthusiastic as possible. "It's nearly Christmas, and we AND your father have got you lots of presents to open on Christmas morning!"

"I know," Jade replied with a sad smile. "But I still miss my daddy."

"And he misses you too," Amy whispered, stealthily wiping a tear from her eye. "He misses you every day."

A short while later, the family arrived back in London, where Amy delighted in showing her daughter all the sights of the city, from Big Ben to Buckingham Palace to Tower Bridge, before taking a boat tour along the Thames. Amy's heart swelled with pride at the look of wonder on Jade's face at the sights she saw, but deep down, she knew that every second she spent with her daughter was a second where she had to pretend to be the girl's aunt- and was also a second closer to the time she'd have to return Jade to her mother.

“Hi sweetie!” Kerry said as she entered the café where the three generations of Harrises were waiting, giving her daughter a gentle cuddle before sitting down in between her and Amy. “Did you have fun today with your grandparents?” Amy bristled and tried not to cry as she was, once again, excluded by her ex-partner.

“We saw Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives!” the young girl said enthusiastically. “And Auntie Amy told me about the wedding she went to on Saturday and showed me photos of the dresses the brides wore!”

“Oh- you mean ‘the dress that the bride wore’, sweetie,” Kerry corrected her daughter. “Don’t forget about plurals that you learned at school.”

“No, what I said was right,” Jade protested. “There were two brides at the wedding getting married to each other.” Everyone at the table flinched as the little girl earned a scowl from her mother. “I- I’m sorry mummy, did I say something bad?”

“No- no, sweetie,” Kerry said, cuddling her daughter again before scowling at Amy. “It wasn’t YOU that said anything bad.”

“…What?” Amy protested.

“You know very well ‘what’,” Kerry hissed as Amy’s parents, sensing the impending argument, distracted their granddaughter with the photos they'd taken on their phones during the day. “She’s too young to learn about- about THINGS like that!”

“I hope you’re not calling two of my best friends ‘things’,” Amy spat. “Unless you mean the wedding?”

“Of course I mean the wedding!” Kerry whispered angrily, standing up from the table and dragging Amy out of earshot of their daughter. “She’s too young to understand about things like- like that and you know it!”

“She’s not too young to learn about heterosexual weddings, though?” Amy retorted.

“Well- no, because they’re normal,” Kerry replied. “And they-“ Kerry’s face reddened with anger as she hesitated.

“Go on, this’ll be good,” Amy said with a smug grin.

“…Normal marriages are about love,” Kerry said quietly, before checking to see no one else in the cafe could overhear her. “Gay ‘marriages’ are only about sex.”

“So- so you think gay people are incapable of falling in love?” Amy asked incredulously.

“The whole point of getting married is to start a family,” Kerry said firmly.

“I’m sure you can see the irony of us conceiving a child out of wedlock, then,” Amy retorted.

“…I think you should leave,” Kerry snarled. “Say goodbye to Jade, and get the hell out of my sight!”

“If you insist,” Amy mumbled, every nerve ending in her body urging her to yell and scream at her ex-partner as her rational mind reminded her that if she did, she'd likely never see her daughter again. “I just hope you’re not poisoning her mind by teaching her that shit about gay people. God knows what you’ll end up teaching her about trans people…” Amy didn’t turn around as she returned to the table and kissed her daughter goodbye, before heading out of the café with her parents. As she climbed into her father’s car, though, Amy let out a long, pained groan, which only got louder when she looked at the empty car seat next to her.

“…Another falling-out, then?” Amy’s father asked as the family headed back home.

“Not exactly a wild guess, that,” Amy replied with a sigh.

“I wish you and Kerry would find a way to get along better, if just for Jade’s sake,” Amy’s mother chastised her daughter.

“Not likely to happen while I’m not able to tell Jade who I really am,” Amy sighed. “I mean, I don’t LIKE the situation as it is, but I- I can’t afford to risk not being able to see her again. And- well, Kerry IS Jade’s mother, so it’s not like she shouldn’t have a say in how she’s raised…”

“Kerry doesn’t have a problem taking child support from you each month, though,” Mr Harris said darkly. “Though I suppose with your job, challenging for custody of Jade isn’t really an option.”

“Not with where I live currently, anyway,” Amy said as she thought about her flatmates in London- particularly the one with whom she’d recently been intimate.

Amy knew she loved Sophie at the very least as a friend, which made Kerry’s words sting all the more. The two same-sex weddings that she’d been to- Jessica and Paige’s and Ellen and Amelie’s reception- had been celebrations of love, not sex or even lust. Amy was certain that if she ever married, it would be for love rather than mere physical attraction, but her only romantic ‘encounter’ in almost a year had been a night of drunken lust- a night that might have ruined one of the closest friendships she’d ever had. Consciously, Amy knew that Kerry was talking nonsense, but subconsciously, she wondered if she did care more about physical love than emotional love…

“Do you want me to get that, honey?” Annabelle asked, startling Sophie as the galley’s call light illuminated.

“Hm?” Sophie replied, before grimacing as she saw the light. “Oh, umm, no, I can get it, just let me get my hat on…”

“I’ll get it, my hat’s already on, it’s fine,” Annabelle said, giving her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You’ve been distracted all day, honey, both to AND from Brussels. Is everything okay?”

“I- I’m fine, honestly,” Sophie insisted, even though inside, she was just as conflicted as Amy- not to mention frustrated by not even being able to speak to her upon her return to the flat.

Sophie let out a long sigh as she arrived home from her flight to find the flat deserted. After pulling on her comfortable flannel pyjamas, Sophie flopped down on the sofa and switched on the television, but before long her attention was drawn to her phone, specifically the text message that she'd seen Amy had read, but not replied to.

Sophie spent the next twenty minutes agonising over whether or not to send another text message, and if she did, what she should say. However, every time she went to type something, her brain bombarded her with a million questions. Should she say she was sorry for what happened? Should she say she enjoyed what happened? Should she admit she couldn’t even remember what happened? Did what happened even happen at all? With a yell of frustration, Sophie hurled her phone onto a nearby cushion and let out a long, pained groan. She loved Amy, not just as a friend, but something more than that- however whether that meant ‘as a lover’ was something Sophie couldn’t know for certain without talking to one person- and that person was conspicuous by their absence.

Seeking a greater distraction than Christmas television, Sophie changed out of her pyjamas and into a comfortable pair of jeans and a figure-hugging sweatshirt, before pulling on a pair of comfortable low-heeled knee-high boots, grabbing her handbag and heading out of her front door.

A short taxi ride later, Sophie was at a place that had become like another home to her- and the noise coming from inside assured her that she wouldn’t be short of distractions that night.

“You’re a bum, you’re a punk!” The brown-haired woman yelled into her microphone as the pub’s customers listened intently.

“You’re an old slut on junk!” The blond man retorted into his microphone. “Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed.”

“You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy braggart!” The woman angrily snapped. “Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it’s our last!”

“The boys from the NYPD choir still singing ‘Galway Bay’,” the duo sang together, “and the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day!”

As the band’s tall, long-haired violinist played his solo, Sophie made her way to the bar, where she was greeted by the face she was hoping to see most that night.

“Oh, hi Soph!” The eager voice of Rachel Harrison said. “Come for the show?”

“Came for some company, actually,” Sophie replied. “Hayley’s visiting her father in Bristol overnight, Francine’s in Paris- with her father, heh. And Amy…”

“Amy…” Rachel replied, confused by her friend’s hesitation. “No, wait- don’t tell me- she’s with her father too?”

“…And her mother as well,” Sophie replied, earning a chuckle from her friend. “So, I’m kinda at a loose end and needed some company.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate your custom, but what’s wrong with your parents?” Rachel asked. “You’re, like, fully reconciled with them, aren’t you? Out and everything?”

“Well- yes,” Sophie replied. “But- ugh. I’m seeing them on Boxing Day and I kinda needed something a bit, well, ‘louder’.”

“Well, you’re definitely in the right place for that,” Rachel said as the song ended and the band announced a short intermission. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Umm, just a Diet Coke please,” Sophie replied, grimacing as she remembered how inebriated she’d been at the wedding reception. “Got a, umm, got a flight tomorrow.”

“Ah, okay,” Rachel said. “Anywhere nice?”

“Brussels,” Sophie replied. “Been there today and the next two days.”

“Ugh, Christmas Day flights,” Rachel spat. “I do NOT miss those. I bet you won’t either, when you leave the airline?”

“They aren’t exactly a highlight,” Sophie snorted in reply. “I get that they need to be crewed, though.”

“If only you had another career to fall back on?” Rachel asked with a wink that made Sophie giggle. “It wouldn’t surprise me if, after you become a world-famous author, you still keep a replica of the uniform just for old times’ sake. Actually, how old are you next birthday?”

“Twenty-six,” Sophie replied. “And it’s in July, which is too hot for the uniforms at the best of times, let alone a costume party!”

“Spoilsport,” Rachel playfully chastised her friend. “Well, better leave you with your drink, I’ve got other customers to serve, heh!”

“Where’s your fella?” Sophie asked. “Isn’t he the regular barman?”

“Usually,” Rachel replied with a playful roll of her eyes, before pointing to the stage, where her husband was holding a tambourine while the rest of the band launched into a rendition of Roy Wood's 'I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day'.

Sophie had a smile on her face as she watched the rest of the ‘gig’, before calling for a taxi home and getting an early night. The night out hadn’t solved any of Sophie’s problems, but it had given her a much-needed distraction from her problems, leaving her less distracted on her flights to and from Belgium the following day.

And, much to Sophie’s relief, when she returned home after her flight on Christmas Eve, it wasn't to an empty flat.

“Hey Soph!” Hayley said with a wide grin as she greeted her flatmate with a tight hug. “How was Brussels?”

“Belgian,” Sophie replied with a stuck-out tongue. “How’s your father doing? Okay, I hope?”

“Yeah, she’s doing fine,” Hayley replied with a smile. “Lucy didn’t come down to Bristol to meet us again, but I didn’t really expect her to, so- yeah. Still, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to catch up next year. Next decade, heh!”

“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled as she made her and her flatmate a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa. “God knows at the start of the 2010s, I would NOT have been able to predict how I'd end the decade, heh!”

“Me either,” Hayley sighed. “I mean, I’d hoped, but- heh. Safe to say it’s not been plain sailing, but I- I’m happy with the way things turned out. If I’d still been closeted, or worse yet, not able to be Hayley at all, even part-time, I- well, I don’t even want to think about it. And more to the point, I don’t need to, either!”

“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.

“So…” Hayley teased. “How about you, Soph? Any regrets? Or any, like, ‘New Decade Resolutions’?” Well, that’s the question, Sophie thought to herself as she mulled over her answer.

“No regrets at all about becoming ‘Sophie’,” the brown-haired woman truthfully replied. “As wary as I was at first, it- it’s really opened my eyes to what my life could be. And, yes, made the best friends I could ever hope for, hehe!”

“Team ASH forever!” Hayley cheered as she sat down next to Sophie and playfully cuddled into her. As Hayley held her, Sophie allowed herself to wonder whether or not she'd feel the same thing for her as she did for Amy- after all, Hayley was an attractive young woman in her own right, and was also taller, slimmer and younger than Amy. However, as much as it frustrated her, Sophie was forced to admit to herself that Hayley's cuddle, as intimate as it may have been, was nothing more than a friendly gesture to her. Whereas if Amy had cuddled her, Sophie's feelings would've been a LOT stronger...

“As for resolutions…” Sophie mused. “Never really been a fan of them, heh. If I’m going to do something, I’m not going to wait until January before I do it.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Hayley sighed happily. “Does- does that include leaving the airline? Because, you know, your second book, like, that’s got to be nearly complete, and- yeah.” Sophie bit her lip as she detected the sadness in her friend’s voice.

“…Probably,” Sophie sighed. “I think this will be my last Christmas with the airline, but not, you know, the last as part of Team ASH. When I say ‘Team ASH forever', I mean it.”

“Me too,” Hayley said with a grin. “And I’m sure Amy feels the same way too.”

“Yeah,” Sophie whispered, as she wondered whether or not Amy did indeed feel the same way- both about her and about 'Team ASH'. And moreover, whether or not 'Team ASH' would survive their one-night stand...

Sophie and Hayley headed to bed early and woke up early the following morning, not just because they had flights to catch but also to exchange their gifts. Neither woman had spent huge amounts of money on the other, but both appreciated the gifts that they received- Hayley was delighted with her smartphone case and Harrods voucher, while Sophie greatly appreciated the denim mini skirt and scarf Hayley bought her. Sophie and Hayley weren’t able to enjoy their gifts for long, however, and after both women showered and dressed, they headed out of their flat and before long found themselves walking through the vast concourse of Heathrow airport. A short while after that, both women had changed into their trademark blue uniforms and were airborne, heading eastward toward the capital of Belgium.

Hayley’s company along with the relaxed nature of the flights to and from Brussels helped to take Sophie’s mind off of her dilemma, and she was able to concentrate on her work free from distractions. When she and Hayley returned to their flat, though, Sophie’s stress came rushing straight back to her.

“Oh, hi girls!” Amy said with a nervous giggle as she greeted her flatmates, pointedly not meeting Sophie’s gaze. “Oh- I mean, of course, Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Hayley cheered as she, Amy and Sophie shared a group hug- though Hayley didn’t notice how her two flatmates were only barely touching each other.

“I’ve put our dinner in the oven,” Amy explained. “Should be ready once you girls have got your make-up off and changed into something a bit more comfortable, heh!”

“Ooh, before that, though…” Hayley squeaked excitedly as she reached under the sofa for three identically wrapped packages, one of which she kept for herself while handing the other two to Amy and Sophie.

“What- another present?” Sophie asked, before grinning as she and her flatmates unwrapped three identical short, tight turtlenecked sweater dresses, each with a Christmas-themed monogram of their initials on the front.

“Aww, this is so cute!” Amy gushed as she held the dress against her svelte frame.

“I TOTALLY want photos of the three of us in these dresses,” Hayley said. “And if I’m going to have my photo taken, I’m damn sure wearing make-up, so- yeah. Can we get these photos first before we get comfortable and eat dinner?”

“Of course we can!” Amy giggled. “I’m going to need to get some slap on myself, though- and make-up and turtlenecks is always a messy combination…”

“Meh, we can always wash them,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “And on that note, dibs on the bathroom first!” Amy and Sophie both giggled as their overly exuberant flatmate headed into the flat’s small bathroom, however, the atmosphere immediately turned awkward when they met each other's gaze.

“So- umm, hi,” Sophie mumbled as she stared at the floor.

“Hi,” Amy mumbled, before grimacing. “Ugh, Soph, I- I’m sorry I did one on Sunday, I- ugh. I needed time to think, like, about what I wanted, what I really wanted… We still really need to talk, don’t we?”

“Well- yeah…” Sophie replied. “Christmas night isn’t really the best time, though… I think we have a lot we need to say to each other.”

“Yep,” Amy said. “And I- ugh. I kinda regret what happened, but at the same time, I don’t regret it, you know?”

“I think I know what you mean,” Sophie sighed. “I mean, if I could go back in time so that it never happened, then maybe, but, well, that’s not an option, so-“

“Yeah,” Amy sighed. “Heh, this is taking ‘fuck around and find out’ to new levels. And if I could, like, steal a TARDIS and go back in time- well, yeah.”

“But you- you said you were the one who couldn’t, like, move on and pretend it didn’t happen,” Sophie said.

“Yeah,” Amy said with another sigh. “And I can’t, and I get that what I’m saying contradicts itself, but- ugh. I do- I do have feelings for you, Sophie. I just- I just don’t know what they are.”

“…Same here,” Sophie sighed. “So the question, I guess, is- where do we go from here?”

“Okay, who’s next?” Hayley asked with a grin as she skipped out of the bathroom wearing her new sweater dress. “…What?”

“Oh- umm, nothing,” Sophie mumbled. “I- I’ll just go and get changed…”

“She- she had a bad flight,” Amy explained.

“…I was on the same flight as her,” Hayley retorted. “And it was a really quiet one for a change. Seriously, Amy, are- are you two fighting or something?”

“It-“ Amy began, before sighing loudly. “If you must know, I- I had a fight with Kerry. Yes, again. Sophie was just- well- yeah. Kinda feel guilty for, like, spoiling her Christmas, and now yours too…”

“Aww,” Hayley sighed, before giving her friend a tight hug. “You know you don’t need to worry about that, right? We’re team ASH, when one of us has a problem, we ALL help out, right?”

“Yeah,” Amy sighed happily, even as she felt her stomach churn for her half-lie to her friend.

After Sophie and Amy has both changed into their new dresses (with Sophie also pulling on the brand-new knee-high boots she received as a gift from Amelie), they took the photos that Hayley had requested before settling down to watch television and eat their Christmas dinner.

As they relaxed following their dinner, though, both Sophie and Amy wondered whether or not they could go back to the way things were between them, and whether or not anything would ever be the same again. Amy wondered whether or not she could truly love Sophie if it meant loving ‘James’ as well, while Sophie wondered whether or not she wanted a relationship with Amy- or whether or not she would ever be able to tell her that mere minutes before they slept together, she'd been considering a relationship with someone else entirely.

Most of all, Amy and Sophie wondered whether or not ‘Team ASH’ would be a thing for much longer…

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The plot thickens!

Is this the end for Team ASH? Well, there are still three chapters of the story remaining...

Upcoming chapters in the usual place. Fair warning that next week's chapter is going to be darker in tone than usual.

Debs xxxx