Hidden Intent Part 5

That summer will stay with me for ever. We had the two lions to look after and show to the public and the horses seemed to know exactly what they should be doing. The act was a real hit and Jenny and I were interviewed and photographed at almost every place we stopped.

It was odd that there were always a few guys hanging around after the show, asking about the act, the lions and us. A couple of times Jenny gave me the nod that she would be entertaining in the van so I stayed away until she would come back out to get me, often looking very flushed. Sometimes I offered to have a cuddle with a boy and, when I pointed out that the straw bales in the lion enclosure would be comfortable they seemed to cool off quickly. The few that didn’t cool off were good value as I learned a lot about kissing and petting and even more about making a man happy without needing to give myself to him. Tanya the Lion Tamer was fast learning to be Tanya the Man Eater.

The show was doing very well and our act was the highlight of the evening. I did spend a fair bit of time watching the other acts and started to join the tumblers in their daily work-outs. At first they were a bit stand-offish but as I came up to their standards with my gymnastics they got pretty friendly. Of course, the trapeze artistes had to ask if I could swing on a bar and so I started to learn what the trapeze was all about. I was very much at home with the whole group and they seemed at home with me.

My skills were noted carefully and when one of the tumblers fell ill, I was a stand-in for a week or more, being thrown around the ring wearing a frilly dress with bloomers. Another time I did a couple of nights on the trapeze, being caught in mid-air is a real adrenalin rush, I can tell you! Our summer with the lions was another hit with the audience as they came in and there were a lot of photos taken.

Towards the end of the season I went to see the circus doctor as I needed some more of his pills. By now my skin was smooth and my body shape screamed ‘girl’. I asked him about what I would need to do to get a full transition as I was so much happier as Tanya and could never contemplate going back to being Chris. He explained the procedures needed and then said that he would talk to the boss and get back to me. A few days later I was summoned to see Stephano and Melissa in their caravan. They told me that the easiest way for me to get my transition would be to have it done in Thailand as there would be too much red tape to jump through here. They said that I had a great future with the circus and that they had started to worry that I would get better offers to join a bigger outfit.

I told them that they were like my family now and that I would never leave. Melissa reminded me never to say never as we do not know what may be around the corner. They offered to pay for my transition over the winter period if I would sign a five year contract with them. All I needed to do would be to get a passport which they said should not be a problem with how good my paperwork was. I could then forego my bonus each year until I had paid them back. I was happy with this and it was all arranged.

I fretted until my passport came in the post to the wintering quarters as my home address and when we finished the year we took the lions back to their home, much more grown up and a lot bigger, but with a good nature unless provoked. The zoo was very pleased with us and Jenny and I were made lifetime friends of the zoo and invited to visit anytime. After we did our last show I gave her a hug as she headed to her home. I went with the rest of the circus to the wintering site to put the horses into their quarters and then I was off, by cheap airlines, to Thailand and my third life as an almost complete woman.

It was a strange experience to give myself up to the surgeons to do what they wanted with my body but, after the pain and discomfort, it all seemed worth it several weeks later. It was odd not being able to take my breasts of and even odder to be sliding a plastic tube into me several times a day. That part of it became less of a chore as my body started to react to the new feelings. When I was released from the hospital I spent a week in a hotel that I was told catered for new women like me. It certainly catered for us well, having every shop a new girl could desire. I treated myself to a couple of designer outfits and several pairs of shoes that were so cheap they just had to be knock-offs. I did not stint on getting good lingerie and I spent a whole day in a spa while getting totally pampered. When I got back to the airport I looked so good the ticketing guy bumped me up to business class the whole trip home.

By the time we finally landed I was in first name friendship with a couple of very well-to-do and eligible young men, Lachlan and Gerry, returning from a business trip. I gave them a card I had from the circus and told them to come up and see me sometime. They both gave me their business cards and Lachlan (call me Lockie) even wrote a very private number on it. I gave both of them a kiss before we disembarked. When I walked out of customs I saw Jenny waiting for me. Oddly, the two guys were right behind me and I introduced Jenny to them. I saw straight away that Gerry was smitten by the glazed look in his eyes so I told Jenny that I had their business cards and that they would be coming to see the act sometime during the summer. My ‘private number’ friend gave me a hug before we left and kissed me on the lips, saying that he will be coming to see us as soon as he could. The other one gave Jenny a hug and, when he saw his friend kissing me he kissed Jenny, who put her arms round his neck to prolong it.

On the way to the winter quarters she told me that if I had been pretty before, I was an absolute knock-out now. I told her that I was going to have to work twice as hard now to do all the tricks with my new body, especially with the added weight of my new breasts. She promised me that she would give me tips on the use of sports bras. When we arrived I was inspected by all and sundry and declared to be the ‘new and improved’ model. Jenny helped me go through my work-outs to get used to my new shape and then, when I was able to move easily, we got the horses out and started working on the act.

It took some days before we started getting happy about it. We had decided that we would go straight into the duo act and stretch it out a bit and when Evangeline saw us do it in costume she was impressed enough to approve it for the show. This actually gave a little more time for other acts and she had picked up a fire-eating act to add to the mix. The guy was totally gay but built like Adonis, a complete waste of manhood as far as we were concerned. While we were still in training the two of us acted as his assistants while he rehearsed and it was decided that we would both need to do fire-prevention training and to be his assistants in the show. We needed to get a new outfit to match the act and we both ended up with a strapless long sheath with a flame pattern. Once we had mastered the act with him we put it on for the rest of the circus and we were added to the show, with our horse act near the beginning and the fire-eating towards the end so that we would be doing the finale parade dressed to the nines.

When we started the season and set out for the first venue, Jenny was driving her SUV with the caravan and I followed with the second-hand Cruiser I had bought with the horse float on the back. As we travelled I thought back on all the things I had dreamed of becoming when I was at school and being a woman driving to a circus venue with a few horses in a float had never been part of those dreams. I had to giggle at the thought of trying to learn to be a vet and do it as a guy. I was having far too much fun now as a girl – which brought my thoughts to Lockie and I had a very strange feeling of wetness in my crotch the more I considered him and me in an extension of that kiss at the airport.

The first venue was a small country town and we went well with reasonable crowds. We zig-zagged across the south few a few weeks before getting close to the city and, when we opened there on the first night, we saw that Gerry and Lockie were in the audience. We did the horse act and, while doing the final circuit waving to the crowd we both blew them kisses as we passed. They, along with a few others in the stands, were giving us a standing ovation, something every artiste loves. As usual, we put the horses away before getting changed. We both took extra care getting ready for our second act. I think that Jenny had started to feel that Gerry may be the one but it is difficult to imagine after just one kiss.

When we walked out with our Adonis I looked up in the stands and saw the two of them with their mouths open. The act went down well and then we waited to the finale parade where we did our circuit on either side of our Adonis waving to the audience and blowing a few kisses, especially when we passed the boys. It had worked out well with the way we had spaced the acts as we could finish the show without needing to settle the horses so when we emerged in our evening dresses and found the boys waiting for us we could just follow our instincts. Jenny, as I had found out last season, had a very well-honed instinct for sexual satisfaction and she had told me to find somewhere secluded tonight.

Marianne G 2020