Part 6 of 7

Chapter 12
Luke and Rose rode for some time across the grassland until a copse of trees came into sight. Rose changed course slightly to head for the trees and they soon arrived at the watering station.

"Now that shoots that old saw all to blazes, don't it?"

"Just what are you going on about, Luke?"

"You know, that old saw about how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. He looks like he wants to drain the whole thing by himself."

"Let him have a bit more, then take him away. Some horses will drink themselves sick and Golly is one of them."

"No horse sense, I take it?"

"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."

"Say what?"

"An old saying. One that even makes sense."

"Sort of like 'Anyone can ride, it takes talent to stay on'."

"Saddle glue. Works every time."

"Doesn't that spook the horse? All those old jokes about the glue factory?"

"Not if he has the sense God gave a horse."

"I'll bet. I was kind of expecting a windmill."

"We've gone all modern these days, solar powered electric pumps - see the solar arrays over there?"

"Practical, I suppose, but not so picturesque.

"You try fixing a sticking windmill in the winter with a cold wind blowing, I'll take a sheltered pump house over picturesque any time."

"Not so romantic, I suppose."

"Hey, I'm gonna have to know you a lot better before I think romantic."

"I didn't mean…"

"I'm joking, Luke."

"Sometimes it's hard to tell."

"Sometimes I forget that people I don't know well don't appreciate my family's humor. We're pretty isolated out here. That's part of the reason my folks wanted me to go to a regular high school, so I get to know more people. Sort of grind off the rough edges."

"Um, Rose?"

"Yeah"

"There's a whole bunch of cows headed this way."

"Well duh! We're standing here in the shade by their water. Of course they're heading this way."

"They look awfully big."

"Maybe a ton apiece."

"Are they friendly cows?"

"I've never asked them."

"They won't trample us or anything?"

"Nah. Just don't get between them and the water or a tree that looks like it could scratch an itch for them."

"Say, I've always wondered if cows can get sunburned. They stand out in the fields all day under the sun."

"How do you think they get tanned leather?"

"Really"

"Jeez! You'd believe anything, wouldn't you?"

"You really are weird."

"Still want to go to homecoming with me?"

"Do we have to take one of these cows as a chaperone?"

"Now there's an idea that even Daddy never thought of."

"They aren't going to step on us or anything, will they?"

"Not if we move away from their water. We can sit on the bench Rita and I built so we had somewhere comfortable to sit while we were hiding from Mom and Dad."

"You built that bench?"

"Sure. When you live way out here you learn to do a lot of things for yourself. You could call me a Jackie of all trades if my folks didn't give us all names that started with 'R'."

"Yeah, what's with that?"

"Too many long winter nights with nothing to do but think. I guess they got creative once they were done making babies."

"Jeez Rosie!"

"It's not like you can grow up with sheep and goats and cows and not see how they make babies. Works the same way for people, you know. I'm going to be and aunt in a few weeks."

"Cool! Uh, you sure those cows are friendly? They're awfully close."

"Think of them as big, dumb lawnmowers. Don't bother them and they won't bother you."

"I guess. I don't get to meet too many cows where I live."

"Funny, I get to meet whole herds of them. You never answered my question."

"Huh?"

"Still want to take me to homecoming?"

"Of course I do."

"Then we better get going so you can meet Daddy."

"Is he more dangerous than a bunch of cows?"

"Herd of cows, Luke. And don't say it!"

"Say what?"

"Luke, we're going to have to work on your knowledge of hoary old jokes. When someone tells says 'herd of cows' the response is usually 'of course I've heard of cows.' Which I have heard a million times and cautioned you not to say it the million and first."

"And I've told you a zillion times not to exaggerate."

"Better. There's hope for you yet."

"Does that mean you'll come to the Homecoming game with me?"

"All you have to do is pass the Daddy Test."
 

"Did you two get here by way of Austin?" asked Travis.

"We took the scenic route, Daddy," replied Rose.

"Just where did you find anything scenic in the dry grass, girl?"

"I brought the scenery with me, Daddy. Isn't he cute?"

Poor Luke was turning a bit pink.

"Actually, we stopped and checked out the watering hole and I told him how the pumps work and just what we do on the ranch."

"And I suppose you did some canoodling on that bench you built?"

"Canoodling? What are you talking about?"

"I'm going to have to speak to your mother, she needs to teach you proper English. You need to build your vocabulary, my girl."

"Can… noodle… Like maybe a can of spaghetti and meatballs? I don't think the solar array would power a microwave to heat it up at the watering hole."

"Ack! I'm glad you're the last one, I don't think I could stand raising any more children."

"You have grandchildren now, Daddy"

"Just so long as they aren't from you canoodling with Luke here."

"Not going to happen, Daddy, if you mean what I think you mean."

By this time Luke was hoping for a convenient stampede to come along and put him out of his misery. What had he gotten into?

Turning to Luke, Travis stuck out his hand and said "Don't worry, son, it takes time to get used to this family. Pleased to meet you."

"Pleased to meet you too, sir."

"We're pretty informal out here, call me Travis, son. This here's Buck and Speedy, a couple of the hands that keep this place running. I see you passed the first test for boyfriends out here, you can ride and not fall off the horse."

"At least not yet, si… Travis. I haven't done all that much riding."

"You hang around Rose much and that will take care of itself. Sometimes I think the girl was born in the saddle."

"I'm always willing to learn."

"Good answer. You pass the second boyfriend test. Just treat her right or her sisters might have a surprise for you."

"Like getting hogtied? I've heard the story before."

"Then maybe you know what you're getting into. Watch out or she'll have you riding rodeo with her."

"Actually, I've been thinking about trying out for the Rodeo Club for my phys ed credits this year."

"Really? Then Rose, looks like you've got yourself a partner. If you're serious, come on out and you two can get in some practice whenever you can."

"That would be great, Travis."

"Speedy here got the name from barrel racing, he might be able to give you a few tips."

"Ayup! Ride fast and don't fall off." came the deadpan answer.

"See? Nothing to it."

"Now we're trying to convince Rose to enter the sidesaddle competition," offered Buck. "She looks purty good in those long skirts and frilly blouses."

"In your dreams, Buck, not unless you want to enter with me. I'd love to see you wearing a skirt and riding a horse sideways."

"You gonna teach me how, lil lady?"

"I'll even train the horse if you do it, Buck."

"Will you two give it up?" asked Travis. We've got fence to mend, boys. Rose, go riding off into the sunset with your boyfriend, you hear?"

"Yes Daddy."
 

Homecoming.
Rose was a little disappointed that Luke couldn't pick her up for their date, but with Luke living a couple of blocks from the school and Rose in the back of beyond it didn't make much sense. Besides, Luke didn't have a driver's license, being only fourteen. The road to romance often has some roadblocks.

The weather was fair but cool, perfect weather for the annual Homecoming game. The whole scene was a bit surreal for Rose, being homeschooled she was not used to large crowds. She was actually grateful to Luke when he shyly took her hand, she didn't want to get separated and it felt pretty good to know she was not going to get separated.

They found a spot higher up in the bleachers where they could see the field clearly. The stands were packed, so they had to sit close together. Neither one minded that at all.

Unfortunately, Rose found watching a bunch of macho dudes bashing into each other and tossing balls around to be a pretty silly exercise. With all the hollering and cheering she couldn't even talk to Luke. Then there was this wave thing that everybody thought was so great. Really? Did the people come to watch the game or do an exercise routine?

She felt much more comfortable at the dance afterword, and Luke was a very nice dancer. They were both pretty shy at first, but the slow dances were very enjoyable. After the festivities, they walked to Luke's place hand-in-hand and she kissed him at the doorstep before they went in to greet their parents. Very Nice!

Rose briefly cursed the idiots in the state legislature who wouldn't let her start HRT for years and years yet! As if she were going to change her mind. Not that she was going to let Luke get her in bed or anything, but a girl liked to have options.
 

Chapter 13
"Are you out of your mind?" asked Travis with a long-suffering look that could only be perfected by the father of seven girls.

"I knew it - send the girl off to college and she gets Big Ideas. What the heck are they teaching you at that place?" Ruth wondered.

"How to be a Big Thinker, of course," replied Roslyn, her voice coming from the speakerphone. "I may have grown up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, but I have big plans for my life. As the middle sister I will need to set myself apart from the herd, but I'm willing to let the rest of my sisters in on the fun."

"I'm gonna puke if she keeps that up," Roxy replied, performing a very realistic gagging noise."

"How ladylike," snorted Rose.

"Roslyn," Travis cut in before physical mayhem ensued, "Do you realize just what is involved in packing up the whole family and going to San Antonio? Have you talked to Ramona and her husband yet?"

"They're in, the offer includes housing, meals and a day in the beauty salon for all of us."

"Now that's something I've always yearned for," commented Travis sarcastically."

"It couldn't hurt, dear," replied his wife.

"Why, oh why, did I have to become the poor lonely male in a family of girls? I think I'm gonna steal Rhoda's line and whine it's not fair!"

"Worse things could happen, Daddy," commented Rose with a smirk.

"Could you maybe give us a few more details, dear?" asked Ruth.

"Sure, Mom! The school puts on a big Christmas show every year, and it's a major deal. We raise money for charity and all the hoi-polloy attend to show off to the poor common folk. Sorry - too much time in Professor Burke's class, I'm starting to sound like a Liberal.

"Anyway, Professor Stein was all excited when she found out I was one of the Magnificent Seven and practically dragged me into her office to beg us to perform this year. She saw us at the State Fair and was impressed."

"And well she should be, daughter," replied Travis fondly.

"She promised they could find housing for all of us, even if they have to split us up, and the students in the cosmetology course will give us the full treatment the day of the show. You can come early and see the sights in San Antonio, like the Riverwalk and the Alamo."

"Seems I remember something about the Alamo," said Rose.

"They'd toss you out of Texas if you didn't and then we'd be the Magnificent Six," Rita observed.

"Do we have time to make new outfits for the show?" asked Ruth.

"Well, they do have an Ugly Christmas Sweater contest as part of the festivities."

"Over my dead body!" cried Travis. "My girls will not be seen in reindeer boobed sweaters or any such atrocities!"

"We might get away with just Rita and Rose this year, the older girls haven't grown that much."

"I bet I could fit Rita's dress from last year, so all we would need is one for her," offered Rose.

"But do I have enough fabric?"

"You certainly ordered enough last year, dear," Travis said.

"Watch it, buster or you might find out how much material it takes to make a dress for all the members of the family."

"C'mon, Daddy! It could be fun," pleaded Rose.

"Why, oh why, didn't we stop at six?"

"Daddy!" Raina said with a grin, "We're all old enough to know just why you didn't want to stop."

"I think it would be fun."

"Me too!"

"Me three!"

"Well, I suppose…"

"Yay Daddy!" cheered several of the siblings.

"I'm sure we'll have a good time, dear," spoke Ruth.

"As long as I don't have to go bail for more than four of 'em, we should be OK"

"Daddy!"
 

"This is really cool!"

"At thirty-seven degrees it ought to be cool, griped Travis.

"And I suppose you'd complain if we had a white Christmas."

"Ask your big sister if she appreciates taking care of a baby in this weather."

"The poor kid is looking like a pile of fuzz with so many blankets around him."

"The weather report says it will be warmer on the day of the concert."

"I hope so, I don't want a frozen throat."

"Might I remind you the concert is indoors?"

"Oh…"

"Who's taking care of the baby while we're singing?"

"Your father, of course."

"I thought I was done with diapers when Rose started to use the toilet."

"Just the first round, Daddy. Training for being a grandpa."

"I don't know. I'm not sure what to do with a kid who's name doesn't start with an 'R'."

"Put a bottle in one end and a wipe the other end."

"Might I remind you that Raina is breastfeeding?"

"You could always start HRT so you could take over," offered Rose gaily."

"I'd tell you your were crazy but you're already seeing a shrink."

"Really, Daddy," Raina said, "Little Adam can go for twenty minutes without eating. Besides Terry will be here tomorrow and he can take care of our son if you're too chicken."

"Bwaaakkk!"

"Aren't we supposed to be sightseeing, not arguing?" asked Ruth.

"I knew there was a reason I married you, love. They sure do light up The Riverwalk pretty for Christmas."

"Can we ride the boats?"

"Can we go shopping?"

"Can we find a bathroom?"

"Can I go home?" whined Travis.

"Daddy!"
 

"See Daddy?" Roslyn crowed, "Men can survive being in a beauty salon just fine."

"I don't know… Rose might not need hormones after being there all afternoon."

"Cool! Wash, set and estrogen, all in one easy package."

"You could use a trim, dear."

"Not you, too? I thought my wife was supposed to protect me."

"I'll protect you from looking shaggy."

"Don't worry, Daddy. You said you were through having children, so even if you get an overdose you'll be fine."

"Your mother might have something to say about that."

"You should be safe, dear. I wonder if they make dosimeters for estrogen? If it starts beeping we rush you to a boxing match or something."

"Please! Bull riding or something like that. I get beat up enough at the hands of my family."

"You'll survive the experience, dear."

"OK. As long as we get to test it out to see if I've been overdosed when we get back to the room."

"Daddy!"
 

"That was fun!"

"Yeah, it's been too long since we sang together."

"I know, but with people growing up and moving away it isn't so easy to practice any more."

"Sounds like Adam wanted to join in the choruses, though."

"Got to teach him to stay on key, though."

"It will come in time.

"I bet he'll be a big hit at the nursing home tomorrow."

"I bet we'll be a big hit."

"Of course."

"I'm zonked, singing together takes a lot out of you."

"Sure does. I'm for bed."

"Me too. Too bad tomorrow is our last day together."

"But Christmas is almost here and we'll all be home, right?

"You bet. Sleep well, girls."