Aurora

A Short Story by Rosemary

August 2020

I was born in the lower 48, back in the 1963. My dad was an engineer for an oil company, and my family moved around a lot.

When I was seven, something happened. I began to realize that I was looking at girls. My mom caught me one day, and told me it wasn't polite. Besides, I was too young to be checking out girls.

I told her, "I just think her dress is nice."

I think that's when we both started to realize that I was different. It was cool though. Dad had been discussing things with his boss, and they were talking about working with some oil outfit in Alaska. Something about a huge pipe crossing the state. Eight hundred miles, it was supposed to be.

So, he spent a lot of time going back and forth between our home in Galveston, Texas and Anchorage, Alaska.

My name is Diego Garcia, by the way. I guess you should probably know that. I was named for my father, whose name is Jacobo. Diego is James in English, but it can also be translated Jacob. My parents thought it would be humorous to name me after my father, but with a different form of the name. Mom's name was Juanita.

When I was eight, I sat down with my mom and told her that I really wanted to be a girl. I thought something was wrong with me because I really thought I was a girl.

While Dad was gone on his trips, mom allowed me to dress as a girl around the house, and every so often, we would go on a trip to Houston with me dressed up. It was great! When I was a girl, my name was Melina.

Then one day, Mom told me that Dad would be back that afternoon. I hurried to change back into Diego, much as I didn't want to, but Mom said no. It was time Daddy met Melina.

Daddy? I never called him that, but it sure seemed right! I was scared when we went to the airport, though. I was Melina! And my daddy was going to meet me as her for the first time. In front of all these people. I wasn't just scared, I was petrified!

When I saw Daddy come through the gate, I hid behind my mom. Daddy and Mom kissed, then he picked me up, and gave me a big kiss. "Hello, Melina. It's nice to meet you finally."

My eyes had to have been the size of saucers. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad at my little girl?"

We went home, and I was so happy, I chattered to Daddy the whole way. He just shook his head. I finally asked him why he kept doing that.

"You're so different than Diego. So much more alive."

I think that's when Mom and Daddy decided I was much better off being a girl.

For three years, I would run home and become Melina after school, and during the summer months, I was Melina full time. I was ecstatic.

Then something happened that both scared me and thrilled me. The Alyeska Pipeline Service Company in Anchorage contracted with my dad's company, and we moved to Alaska.

We moved to a little town called Chugiak, about twelve miles north of Anchorage. It didn't really seem like a town, the houses were so spread out. Our nearest neighbor was hidden behind a bunch of spruce trees.

Now, I was Melina full time, summer and winter. Mom decided to home school me. It would have been tough to get my records changed from Diego to Melina in 1973.

We lived there for many years, and even after the Alyeska Pipeline was finished, we stayed there. Daddy stayed on contract with them, and he bought our house.

I must have been eleven I met Kenny. He lived in the house behind the spruce trees, and it was June, just after the elementary schools let out. Kenny was twelve, and we hit it off real well.

All summer, we went to Fire Creek to go fishing. The creek was about three feet wide, and we could almost drop a line into the water and immediately pull out a Dolly Varden. They weren’t big, but if you caught six or seven, you had a nice addition to dinner that night.

Our parents got along pretty well too, and we often would have dinner together. That fall, Daddy and Kenny’s dad went hunting together. Both got a moose, and we had some good steaks that year. On Christmas, I was surprised when Kenny made me a carving of a fish, like we had caught all summer. It was rough, but I could see that he had budding talent.

I was unhappy that I wasn’t able to go to school at Chugiak Elementary, where he was, but I couldn’t go as Melina, and I didn’t want him to see me as Diego, so I figured homeschooling was the best route for me.

The next summer followed much the same as the last. I wanted to tell Kenny about my secret, but I was scared. One night, after we had spent all day fishing, we went to the movie theater with his parents and saw the movie, Benji, about a dog who saves the day for two kids that are abducted. All through the movie Kenny had his arm around me, and I snuggled in.

That night, I talked to my mom about it.

“So you have a crush on him?” Mom asked.

“No, not just a crush, Mom.”

“Honey, you’re only twelve. I don’t think you know what love between a man and woman is all about. I don’t think I’d tell him. He doubt he’d understand.”

I was upset with her, but in retrospect, she was right. I didn’t know.

The next winter was much the same. We went to movies with both of our parents, as if they were encouraging our friendship, but Mom still cautioned me.

The next summer, however, when I turned fourteen, I had had enough of him not knowing. We were at fire creek again, and I spoke to him.

“Kenny, I’ve got something I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” he said, pulling a fish off his hook. He put another “Balls ‘O Fire®” on his hook, as the fish had managed to get that off.

“I’m really a boy.”

He looked at me kinda strangely. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I am.”

He didn’t say anything more, and I was happy that he didn’t. I thought things were fine, but on the way home, he asked, “Is that true?”

“What?”

“That you’re a boy?”

“Yes,” I said, still happy that it was out in the open.

Again, he didn’t say anything more, but the rest of the summer, he didn’t want to go fishing, and there were no more movies.

“Well, at least you’re not fooling him anymore,” Mom said one evening when I was really dejected.

The next summer, Kenny once again went fishing with me, but our relationship had changed. One day he asked me, “Why do you dress as a girl?”

“Because I am one,” I said.

“Last summer you said you were a boy. Which is it?”

“Physically, I’m a boy, but where it matters, in my mind, I’m a girl.”

“I see,” he said.

The next three years, we maintained a friendship, but it was like I was an actual boy, not what is now called a trans-girl.

I hated it, but I loved it. I had made a mistake telling him, but I was glad we were still friends. I hoped that one day he might understand, and I could be his girlfriend, and eventually more.

When Kenny was eighteen, he moved in to Anchorage to take up psychology at the Alaska University. I had finished schooling, and went as well. Since my secret was exposed to Kenny, I figured if I had to attend as Diego, I would. I was working toward my medical doctorate, because I was hoping to be able to help people like me.

Unfortunately, I was forced to attend as Diego, at least on the academic records. The school didn’t like me dressing in women’s clothes, but there wasn’t any dress code, so they couldn’t say much.

I started seeing a therapist, hoping to be able to have surgery as soon as I was eighteen, and able to make that decision. Daddy and Mom were all for it, and he had made enough money working with Alyeska Pipeline that there would be no problem affording it. He and Mom had given me a present of enough money to afford it and more.

I had bought a little Datsun car that I drove to and from the university, and when I was done on Tuesdays, I went to see my therapist.

Ken, as he now went by, and I commuted together, even on those days, and it seemed that our relationship was starting to change again. I had pleaded with the university to not reveal to anyone my secret, and they agreed not to. Transgender sexual activity was considered legal in 1980, and Ken and I were generally considered to be a couple. I did nothing to change that assumption, and neither did Ken.

I turned eighteen the summer of 1981. I had admired Renée Richards, and I searched for the hospital where she had her surgery done, since it was a success.

By fall, I was a real girl! Ken knew that I had the surgery, but once again, said nothing about our relationship.

When we started university that year, people had no knowledge of what I had done, and once again neither of us enlightened them.

I was asked if I was still Ken’s girlfriend. I had no idea what to say, so I simply asked why he wanted to know.

“I’d like to take you out.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not interested.” I told him.

At Christmas, I was once again surprised when Ken gave me another carving. This one was an intricately carved caribou, and I was astonished at the detail. I knew I would treasure it forever.

That night was cold. It was clear outside, and the stars were out. I was busy thinking about my future, so I went outside to see the stars. What I saw as well was breathtaking. The Northern Lights were out in full force. Blues, Greens, Violet! It was beautiful.

I was staring up when I realized that someone was beside me. I felt another hand touching mine, and I looked at the person. It was Ken. He grasped my hand, and we stood in the snow and cold, gazing upward.

As we stood there, I noticed that my parents had come out of the house, but they walked around to the other side. They must have seen that we were holding hands, because there wouldn’t be nearly as good a view from the east side of the house.

As the lights danced overhead, Ken gently turned my face toward his, and kissed me. Suddenly the cold night didn’t bother me at all.

“I love you,” he said softly.

My brain absolutely refused to form any words, so I did the next best thing. I gave him a long, passionate kiss.

We were not able to be married in Alaska, so we lived together until we could. Ken got his doctorate in Psychology, and I received my MD. He was much more successful than I was, as people didn’t seem to want to be treated by a man who dressed as a woman. Thankfully, we had a building that allowed both of us a private practice.

I had a hard time getting a court to agree to me changing my legal name to Melina, but eventually it was done, and I convinced the Alaska University to issue me a new doctorate in my legal name, which slowly allowed me an increase in patients. Generally, they were new people to the area.

Eventually, I was able to change my birth certificate, and my driver’s license to match who I really was, and finally, Ken and I were able to say our vows. That was the happiest day of my life!