Josh thought Halloween was gonna be easy. Just take his sister trick or treating, go to a party, have a good time - all things he knew should have been easy to do. Of course, when his sister's a witch...

I felt insanely bad for Yvonne. Just looking at her over FaceTime, it was obvious that the flu had hit her bad. Her nose was puffy, her cheeks were beet red and the rest of her face was so pale she almost looked like a ghost. She sneezed and blew snot all over the camera on her phone, which obscured the image.

“You sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” I asked.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she answered, her voice so throaty that you’d almost think she was talking with a synthesizer. “It’s a twenty-four hour flu, babe, I’ll be fine in a couple days.”

I leaned back in my bed. “I’m sure Kelly’s gonna be disappointed.”

“I know, and I hate that. You really okay going in my place? It’s kinda… Well, you know your little sister.”

I laughed. Yeah, I did know my sister. Both of them, in fact. Kelly, my younger sister, was a witch. Stacy, my older sister, was a sorceress. My dad was a warlock, and my mom was also a witch. Me though? Nope. I wasn’t capable of any magic whatsoever. I was the only member of the family that couldn't.

So, yeah, I knew my sister. She liked to use her magic to play around with people. She was never outright harmful with it, she was just irresponsible. For the most part, she just loved to embarrass me.

“Yeah,” I said, “but I'm gonna lay down some ground rules. First of all, no magic.”

Yvonne sneezed again. “You know that's not going over well with her.”

“I get one day a year where she can’t use magic on me, I’ll just make it today.”

She giggled. “That’s cute. Okay. Hopefully I’ll see you at school tomorrow, babe.”

“Feel better soon, ya hear me?”

With that, and a stuck out tongue, she hung up. I just laughed. I was glad Yvonne accepted my not-exactly-common family for who we were, rather than what everybody but me could do. I knew for a fact that she’d helped Kelly plan some of the magical pranks that were played on me, which was both endearing and annoying at the same time, but I doubted I could find another girlfriend anytime soon who would be as cool about all this as Yvonne was.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and checked the clock on the wall. Trick or treating started at five o'clock, and it was ten till four, so I had an hour to figure out what costume I'd half wear to take my little sister out collecting candy in. I stood and walked over to my closet. I still had the zombie costume from the year before. Of course, that had terrified Kelly when I wore even part of it. I needed to go out and buy one in less than an hour.

There was a knock on my door. Judging by the height of the sound, it was Kelly. She'd just about reached four feet, a bit tall for her age. “C'mon, Kel,” I said.

“You're still taking me trick or treating, right?”

I nodded. “Yup. Just need to find a costume.”

She smiled. “Mom was teaching me clothes spells!”

I wagged my finger. “Nope. Today is No Magic Day.”

Her shoulders slumped and the color drained from her face. “Awwww, c'mon!”

I plopped back down on my bed. “Hey, I'm taking it early this year. You even get to do something to me on Christmas, tell Mom and Dad I gave you permission for that.”

She frowned. “Fine. I won’t use magic on you.”

“Good.”

“But can I pick your costume?”

I already felt like this was a bad idea, but a part of me was stupid enough to think this would go in my favor. “Why?” I asked.

“Yvonne always lets me pick her costume.”

Dammit, she was right about that. “Fine, but just no magically created costumes, okay?”

She smiled. “Don’t worry, Yvonne bought it!”

I sighed. Now I knew this was gonna be a problem.

---

I was very right about it being a problem. Yvonne had, obviously, bought the costume for herself, and that costume was a Japanese school girl outfit, but different somehow. It took me a second or two to realize it was a magical girl outfit. I couldn't tell what anime it was from, but the top was blue, the skirt was pink and the boots and gloves were both colors going around in a spiral pattern. And there was a wig, too. Orange, with purple highlights.

I held it up. There was no way I was gonna fit in Yvonne's costume. Not unless I… Goddamnit, Kelly! She did this on purpose, to make me let her use magic on me. I should have known, right from the second I told her no magic, she’d find a damn way to make sure I had to let her.

“That looks cute,” Stacy said, with the hint of a laugh in her voice.

“Ha ha,” I mocked, “Kelly did this on purpose.”

I turned around to see Stacy standing there, her phone out and already in the middle of taking a picture. “Yeah, she probably did.” She slid her phone into her back pocket. “But you did agree to take her out since Yvonne’s sick.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I know that, thanks for reiterating the plot.” I dropped the sleeveless blue blouse back on my bed. “How the hell am I gonna fit in that without her using magic?”

Stacy shrugged. “That’s your problem, not mine. I mean, I could turn you into a girl for a day. You just made it so Kelly couldn’t magic you today, not me.”

I shook my head. “No. The last time you did that, it took me a week to get back to being myself.” I hated that day. I would never let her turn me into a girl for any part of Spring Break again.

She shrugged again. “Fine. I’m sure you’ll find a way to fit in that without using magic. Honestly, it looks kinda big for Yvonne anyway, maybe she bought it for you in the first place.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What?”

“Guys dressing up as girls for Halloween isn’t something new, y’know. Hell, it’s not even something new for you, since Mom and I dressed you up as a princess when you were five.”

I scowled. I didn’t like to be reminded of that. “Still, what makes you think Yvonne bought this for me without telling me?”

She picked up the top and held it in front of me. “I do things like that for my boyfriend all the time. It’s a locker room game.” She pulled out her phone and took another picture. I wanted to grab the phone and snap it in half, but Dad would make me pay for it. “You buy your guy something embarrassing and find a way to make him wear it.”

“You know I’m going to tell my friends about this the next time I see them, right?”

She smirked. “You think they don’t know? It’s like social blackmail, nobody says anything because then the pictures hit Facebook and Instagram.”

“Are you telling me I’m the only guy in school who didn’t know this crap?”

“Probably. Hey, be a girl for a day and you’ll learn a lot.”

I shook my head. “No.”

She sighed. “Fine. Still, you’ll be fine, and since this is Halloween, nobody’s gonna care that you’re dressed like a girl.” She smiled. “Or a magical girl.”

I took the top from her. “Whatever. What anime is this from, anyway?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think it’s any one in particular.”

I sat back down on my bed. “Well, whatever. It’s only a couple hours while Kelly runs up to strangers and takes candy, not a big deal.”

Stacy smiled. “Good job, little brother.”

As she walked out of the room, I looked back down at the outfit beside me. It still looked too small to me, but I could have been looking at the whole thing all wrong. Either way, I was ready for this whole night to be over and behind me.

---

I stood in front of my mirror and wanted to kill myself. I looked like an idiot, dressed in that stupid blue top and pink skirt. Stacy was right about the outfit fitting me, but that didn’t help this ridiculous situation. I hadn’t noticed before that the boots were actually heels, or that the outfit (naturally) came with a bra and a pair of panties to match it. Reversed, though, so the bra was pink and the panties were blue.

And then there was the stupid ass wig. It made me look even goofier than I already did with the damn outfit. I looked suitably like a magical “girl”, at the very least, but that didn’t make me feel comfortable. I nearly killed myself in the heels at least twice and the wig partially covered my eyes.

But I was wearing it. And all I had to do was chaperone Kelly for a couple hours while she took candy from people she didn’t know. There was no guarantee I’d even run into anybody I knew, right? This whole thing wasn’t some giant conspiracy to embarrass the shit out of me, there was no way of that.

Of fucking course this was all a conspiracy. I knew my little sister, and she delighted in teasing me this way.

Regardless, I hung my head in shame and walked out into the hallway. “C’mon, Kelly, let’s get going.”

Something was off about my voice. I ducked into the bathroom for a second and checked to make sure Kelly or Stacy hadn’t changed me into a girl when I wasn’t looking, and they hadn’t. At least, not in any obvious way. My face was a little cleaner, but there wasn’t makeup on it. I could still feel my dick, so nobody had taken it off me or anything. No boobs hiding in that bra or the blouse covering it up.

Still, it felt like something was wrong here. If Kelly had used magic on me, this whole trick or treating trip was off, and Mom and Dad would be on my side at that point. “Kelly,” I said, my voice a little more stern. It still didn’t sound right, but at the very least, I didn’t sound like a girl.

“Taa daa!” she sang as she slid out of her room in her fairy princess costume. “I’m here!”

I knelt down in front of her. I wasn’t even kneeling right, my legs were too close together. “Did you use magic on me?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Nope. I promised I wouldn’t use magic on you.”

“Then why do I sound weird and why am I kneeling like a girl?”

She smiled. “Because I used magic on your costume.”

“What?!”

“I promised I wouldn’t use magic on you. Like Stacy said, using magic on your costume before you wore it wouldn’t be breaking the promise.”

Sonuvabitch, of course Stacy was involved in this. She’d taken far too many pictures of me holding the damn costume. I should have realized it right then and there. Go to be nice to one sister, the both of them conspire against me. One of these days, I'd learn.

But that day clearly wasn't today. I'd tell Mom or Dad about the whole thing, but Kelly had actually held up her end of the deal, which meant they wouldn't do anything. I'd just have to deal with acting a little girly for a couple hours. This was nothing compared to some of the other crap Kelly or Stacy had done to me. Mardi Gras would never be fun again because of them.

I sighed. “Fine, you win, I’ll go along with this.”

Her smile widened. “You’re my favorite big brother, Josh!”

This was probably going to destroy Halloween for me.

---

“Trick or treat!” Kelly shouted when Mr. Landingham opened his door. She held out her little Frozen bag that she’d been using the last couple years, proudly waiting for the candy she knew she was about to get. I just stood there behind her, making sure she got her candy and didn’t beg for more.

He smiled when he saw her. Mr. Landingham was our next door neighbor, a widower of about ten years who moved out here from New York to be somewhat closer to his children (but still far enough away that he didn’t burden them in any way). He liked to act like a grandfather to the three of us, particularly with me for some reason.

“Ah, a little princess and a… Josh is a school girl.”

I blushed, like an idiot, and rubbed at the back of my neck. “I’m a magical girl, actually…” I felt stupid for saying that. “It was her idea.”

He laughed. “Well, it looks good on you.” He reached into the bowl beside his door and dropped a few pieces of candy into Kelly’s bag. “Alright, little lady, there you go. I’d give some to your sister here, but I think she’s a little too old for trick or treating.”

I felt myself blushing again. Dammit, everybody but me was enjoying this. “Okay, Kelly, let’s get going. Thank Mr. Landingham.”

Kelly nodded to me, then turned back to Mr. Landingham. “Thank you!”

“Stay safe, girls!” he said, making me blush so hard I almost wondered if my face was going to be permanently red after tonight. I was definitely afraid my self respect would never recover.

We next stopped at the Carter house, home of my ex-girlfriend Sheena and her parents. I took a deep breath, let it out, and knocked on the door. Kelly stood ready to hold her bag open and shout “Trick or treat!” when somebody opened up the door. I was ready to suck up my pride whenever whoever it was came to the door. If it was Sheena, I was probably most screwed.

And, of course, there she was…

“Ooh, well, hi there little Kelly!” she said as she dumped candy in Kelly’s bag. “Oh, and her big sister, being the best sister she can be, I see!”

I tried to growl, but it sounded like some kind of gurgling, thanks to Kelly’s magic. Sheena and I had broken up amicably, but she still delighted in tormenting me. And, of course, she didn’t know about Kelly being a witch, so as far as she was concerned, I was doing my best attempt at a female voice when I said, “That’s going too far.”

“Please, you look adorable. Both of you do. Where's Yvonne, and why isn't she rocking those colorful heels?”

“Sick. Twenty-four hour flu.”

“Well, I'm glad you're filling in for her. You're being a very responsible big sister.”

“Yes she is!” Kelly said, excitedly.

“Don't encourage this,” I said.

“I'm already enjoying this, you can't stop me,” Sheena said, with a hint of laughter in her voice. “You going to Drake's party tonight?”

Oh, shit, I'd completely forgotten about that. Drake always had a Halloween party, usually with lots of alcohol and occasionally some drugs that could barely be called “recreational”. Naturally, people were required to come in costumes, and since the party started up right after trick or treating ended (Drake was, for some odd reason, extremely respectful of people who took their siblings out to collect candy), I would have to go as Magical Girl Josh.

Life was cruel tonight.

“Yeah,” I said, “probably.”

She smiled. “Hey, you won't be the only crossdresser there.”

I wagged my finger like some stereotypical anime girl. “Hey, it's not crossdressing, it's…” I shrugged. “Okay, yeah, it's basically crossdressing.”

She giggled. “See ya there. I'll go as a boy so you won't feel alone.”

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, alone. I'll still be the only one forced to act weird because of magic. But, either way, at least there'd be one person there only giving me shit as a joke.

I looked down at Kelly. “Don't forget what you need to say.”

She nodded. “Thanks, Sheena. I'll make sure to be done soon so Josh can go to ‘her’ party!”

Sheena giggled again. “Good job, Kelly.” She looked at me. “See ya there, girlfriend!” she said with a big wave.

I sighed. “You too, girlfriend.”

I quickly clamped my mouth shut and hurried Kelly along. I had not meant to say that.

---

Seven hours and forty-nine minutes later, I checked my phone and saw that it had only been an hour and fifteen minutes since we started. I'd endured so much embarrassment from people who knew me that I was ready to give up on life.

Luckily, though, I'd managed to keep myself from any slip ups like the “girlfriend” one. If I could keep that up, I'd probably be able to get through Drake's party. I was still extremely worried, of course.

“Just one more house, please?” Kelly asked, tugging on my skirt. There was a light breeze, which felt weird, but I was semi-adjusting to it. “I just need to go to one more house.”

I sighed. “Okay, kiddo, but that’s it. We’ve gotta get back home if I’m gonna get to that party.”

She nodded. “Yep!” She let go of my skirt and ran up to the house she was talking about. When the door opened, I nearly felt my heart collapse in my chest. There was exactly one person I didn’t want to know about me wearing this goddamned costume, and that was Chad Harrison, the captain of the basketball team. Major homophobe, to the point that anybody wearing even a bright shade of anything was a target for him.

And the Harrison house was exactly where Kelly was going.

“Kelly, wait, not there -- !” Of course, my concerns were too little too late. She knocked on the door, and there stood Chad, bare chested and disheveled hair, just as he always looked. (Well, he wore shirts to school, but the hair was just as always.) He took one look at Kelly and dropped candy in her bag. Then he took one look at me.

“That fag your brother?” he asked Kelly.

I walked up to the porch and grabbed Kelly’s hand. “It’s Halloween, Chad, I’m not the only guy dressed like a girl.”

He smirked. “You’re the best looking cunt I’ve ever seen.”

I glared at him. “She’s seven, you could curb the crap.”

He shut the door in my face and glared out at me from inside the house. “Go fuck your boyfriend, bitch,” he said through the screen door, then he finally shut the inside door.

I knelt down in front of Kelly. “Why did you come here?” I asked her.

“Stacy told me to.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course. “Next time she sends you to my mortal enemy’s house, do not listen to her.”

She shrugged. “Why don’t you two get along anymore? Mom said you two used to be friends.”

I didn’t honestly ever remember a time Chad and I were “friends”. I remember Mom babysitting the two of us and every goddamn day Chad would treat me like shit. I just couldn’t think of one single day when the asshole had ever been kind to me. Maybe Mom saw those days differently than I did.

I sighed. “Let’s get home, okay? And never, never, never listen to Stacy when she tells you to go to somebody’s house.”

Kelly nodded. “I’m sorry, Josh. I wouldn’t have come here if I knew you didn’t like him.”

“It’s okay, kiddo. Now, let’s go.”

---

Drake’s party was in full swing by the time I got there, about six minutes late. I recognized almost everyone, though the sheer amount of costumes in front of me made things a little difficult with some of them. Sheena had been right, I was not the only boy wearing girl clothes.

I made my way to the refreshment table and poured myself some “punch”, which was pretty damn clear and likely really just vodka. Either way, after all the damned embarrassment and then the shit with Chad, I needed a drink and I needed it badly.

“Damn, look at you!” said a voice behind me. I spun around and saw Hank Davis, Chad’s best friend. He was dressed up like an old fashioned vampire, Dracula cape and fake fangs, the whole nine yards. “You look hot, Josh!”

I flipped him the bird. “Fuck off,” was spoken in that stupid voice I was forced to use.

He laughed. “Chad called me up, tellin’ me about you and your sister showin’ up.”

I took a gulp of “punch”. “Yeah. My older sister told her to do that, probably to embarrass the fuck out of me.”

“I just had to see you to believe it. Your girl make you wear that?”

I nodded. “Yup. She’s not even enjoying this, since she’s home sick.”

He patted me on my bare shoulder. “Just think, you’re hot as a guy, you’d probably make a killer girl.”

I scowled. “I can’t say I’m happy to hear that.” I took another gulp and dunked my cup in the bowl again. “I’m gonna need so much of this to forget tonight.” He laughed and patted me on the shoulder again.

For some reason, I felt… Different around Hank. There was something about him that just seemed… The only word I could think of was “comfortable”. Maybe it was just because unlike Chad, I actually got along with Hank. Maybe it was just because he wasn’t embarrassing me as much as everybody else had been. Maybe it was the vodka.

Was it because he called me hot?

No, that couldn’t be it. Why the hell would that be it? First off, I was a guy, I wasn’t “hot” like this and I shouldn’t have been to Hank, regardless. He was the biggest horn dog in the school, there were few girls he hadn’t dated and supposedly even fewer he hadn’t slept with (though Yvonne called bullshit on that one). The idea that he was into guys just seemed to be the most ridiculous thing possible.

And yet, I felt like he actually did think I was hot. Was this part of that stupid spell Kelly used on my costume? Was it actually making people attracted to me?

I turned back to the table, but kept the corner of my eye trained on Hank. There! I watched as he tilted just a bit to look at my ass!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said as I spun back around. “The merchandise isn’t for sale, big boy.” Goddamnit, it sounded too much like I was flirting. “What’s up with you?”

He took a step closer to me, which felt weird. Was… Was my breathing getting shallow? What the hell was going on. “I can’t help it,” he said.

I put my hand up against his chest to stop him, but instead I ended up feeling his muscles under his costume and I could not understand what I was feeling about that.

“Josh, I’m serious. I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but I just feel… I don’t even know right now.”

He got closer to me, his hands on my hips. Why did this feel good? Come to think of it, when the hell did he put his hands on my hips? Why was I feeling this way? Why did kissing him feel so right?

AND WHEN THE HELL DID HE START KISSING ME?!

---

I dropped my book bag on the floor beside my desk and then dropped into my seat. My head was throbbing, my stomach felt like it was trying to crawl up my throat and so help me I was certain my tongue and grown a week’s worth of hair.

Yvonne set her books down on her desk beside me, then leaned in and kissed me on the lips. “Guess who’s over her flu?” she asked in a sing-songy voice.

Much as I loved her voice, it sounded like scraping my ears with a cheese grater. “I’m happy for ya, babe, I really am, but can you please keep it down?”

She sat down in her seat. “Wow, that party did a number on you, didn’t it?”

“In every way.” I buried my head in my arms. “Thanks for the costume, by the way, that wasn’t a goddamn disaster.”

“What? You said you were gonna tell Kelly not to use magic on you.”

“Yeah, she didn’t use magic on me, she used magic on the costume.”

She giggled. “Oh, man, I wish I’d been there to see that. What did she do? Did she turn you into a girl for the night?”

I shook my head. “No, but I was acting girly all night long.”

“Shit, I really wish I’d been there to see that.”

“Trust me, people will be talking about it.”

As if on cue, I heard people chattering about something. I lifted my head and turned toward the direction of the sound. There were about fifteen people crowded around somebody, each of them laughing their asses off or cursing whoever it was in words that were a little more than quiet. What the hell?

“What’s that about?” I asked.

Yvonne got up and walked over to the crowd, then joined those who’d been laughing. I was worried now. I stood up and stumbled my way over to the group and saw exactly what was going on. Teresa Jones had her phone out, her pictures up and front and center was a picture that made me desperately want to grab the phone and throw it.

Me and Hank. He had his arms around me, I was holding onto him. One of his hands was on my ass. He had me backed against a wall, my legs wrapped around him.

And we were making out big time.

I sighed, loudly. “Motherfucker.”