Be True To Myself

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Be True To My Self

Mom wanted eleven-year-old Chris to make a New Year's resolution. Will he be true to himself or will he chicken out?

Christina

By
Becky Anne

Proofread by Beoca

©2023

~o~O~o~

Eleven-year-old Chris helped his mother set up for the family's New Year's party. He liked to help his Mommie. He filled bowls of various snacks before setting them on the sideboard. He grabbed a sparkling white grape juice out of the fridge. He went to open it before Mommie grabbed it. She said, “No, you don’t.”

She handed it back to the boy. He then poured it out into plastic wine glasses. They were, of course, kids, and Mommie and Daddie didn’t trust them with authentic wine glasses. He carefully set napkins that said “Happy New Year'' nearby in a decorative way.

Mommie said during the New Year's Eve party, “Now, kids, it is time for New Year’s Resolutions. Everyone, write something down.”

Chris took his paper and stared at it. He tried to figure out what to write. Or more like if he was going to be daring enough to write what he wanted to write. Finally, he wrote, “I, Chris, resolve to be true to myself.”

Mommie said, “Let’s hear what you ladies and gentlemen came up with.”

Heather, his older sister, said, “I resolve to take better care of my skin so I can hopefully lose this acme.”

Beth, his younger sister, said, “I resolve to clean my room more.”

Mommie said, which got laughs out of the family, “I will hold you to that one, sweetie.”

He said, “I resolve to be true to myself.”

Mommie asked, “What does that mean, Chris?”

“If I have the guts, you will find out tomorrow, Mom,” Chris said.

Daddie resolved to drink less, and Mommie herself decided to get more active in her kids' education, which got groans out of all three kids.

Someone screamed from the living room, “They are getting ready to drop the ball in New York.”

Chris followed the horde of feet and watched the ball drop on the East Coast. Chris’s parents wouldn’t let him stay up until the new year actually came in Idaho. They told him it was past his bedtime. Actually, even this ball drop was past his nine-thirty p.m. bedtime. But Mommie and Daddie always let the younger kids stay up until at least ten p.m. on days like this.

The family of five counted down, “Nine.” …

“Eight.” …

“Seven.” …

“Six.” …

“Five.” …

“Four.” …

“Three.” …

“Two.” …

“One.” …

“Happy New Year!” Chris clicked his glass of sparkling grape juice against his family members' glasses. It was the same every year, almost like a rehearsed play. Once the ball was done, Chris and his younger by two years sister, Beth, were ushered to bed. Mommie watched as both kids brushed their teeth. Lucky Heather, who was three years his senior, got to stay up for another ball drop or two.

Chris shuffled to his bedroom after doing his business in the bathroom. He made sure he was alone and quickly shut the door. He wedged his desk chair underneath the door handle to block it from being open. Quietly, he pulled out his bottom dresser drawer to access his hiding area. He pulls out a pink Aurora nightie that Heather had outgrown a few years ago. Finally, he switched his … her clothes for the nightie and a pair of pink panties she also had hidden away. He put the dirty laundry in the basket before crawling into the bed.

The following day, the girl took her nightie off before returning it to the hiding spot. She pulled one of her two dresses out, a stained and wrinkled dress she again had stolen from Heather’s outgrown clothes pile. She shook it out, only to discover it wasn’t stained or wrinkled anymore. She was puzzled looking at it. Maybe she remembered its condition wrong. The tights she grabbed next from its hiding place also looked better than she had remembered them.

The girl admits it had been two weeks since she had worn any of these items, but she was sure the items were well-loved. They had been worn multiple times since Christy rescued them from the discard pile. She carefully put the white tights on carefully because she didn’t want them to run any more than they already were. However, she couldn’t find the run at all when she put them on. She tried to remember if this had happened before. Did someone discover her hiding spot? If someone did, they never made mention of it.

She shrugged her shoulders and put on the blue sailor dress with long white sleeves on herself. She struggled to do the buttons on the back. This wasn’t the usual dress she wore. She normally wore a short-sleeved slip-on dress. She wore this sailor dress, mostly unbuttoned from time to time, but again, it was not what she usually wore. She finally decided to just do the top button like she usually did.

She grabbed her Dorothy wig she had rescued a year or two prior from the hiding spot again. She carefully put it on her head, feeling without sight that it was straight. She wished she had a mirror in her room to look into to make sure it was.

She looked down at herself and decided she better put on socks to protect the bottom of her tights. Taking a deep breath, she unblocked her door and walked into the hall. She slowly and nervously walked downstairs to join the family for breakfast.

Heather and Beth stopped arguing about whatever the day's argument was to stare at her. Daddie peered at her from above his paper. The new girl couldn’t read the expression on his face. It was definitely not a shocked expression, but it wasn’t a pleased one. Then again, it wasn’t an upset expression either.

Conversely, Mommie said, “Oh, my daughter, Christina, decided to finally show her face.” The new girl looked at her Mommie with a shocked expression. Mommie smirked, coming up to hug the girl. She said, “Who do you think washed your stained clothes collection? I also replaced your tights.” She continued, “Turn around, Christy, you didn’t fully button the dress.”

As she felt the dress get tighter on her, Christy said, “I could only reach the first button, Mommie.”

The girl was directed to sit next to her sister Heather, and Mommie sat a slice of French Toast in front of her new daughter. The older sister leaned over and said, “Sis, that old dress of mine looks good on you. I am sure there are more in the basement where that one came from.” That was just rewarded with a large blush on Christy’s face.

Beth walked over to her older sister and played with the wig. She said, “There, it is no longer crooked. It was driving me nuts.”

“Sorry, Sis, I don’t have a mirror in my bedroom,” Christy said.

Daddie looked blankly and said when he was done eating, “I am going to work in the shop.”

“Mommie, is Daddie upset with me?” Christy asked as she ate.

Mommie said, “I don’t think so. He has known about the clothes as long as I have known. I don’t think he knows how to react yet. By the way, is this what you mean by being true to yourself?”

“Yes, Mommie.” the new girl said.

Mommie said, “Now that all three of my girls have breakfast, let's go ice skating.”

Christina said, “I will go change.” She gets up to leave to go back to her … his room.

Heather said, wrapping her arms around the girl’s wrist, preventing her from leaving, “You will do nothing of the sort, Sis.”

Mommie said to Heather, “Please get some mary janes and a coat for your sister from downstairs. Beth, please get your shoes and coat on, too.”

Once all three girls were bundled up, they followed Mommie out into the garage. Mommie made motions at Daddie’s shop door to catch his attention. Once the tool stopped, he walked out into the garage, where he was informed that the girls were going ice skating. He hugged Heather and Beth before saying, “Don’t I get a hug, Christina?”

Christina ran and hugged her Daddie, who embraced the new girl tightly. Daddie whispered in the girl’s ear, “About time you show up.” The new girl smiled because though Daddie didn’t outwardly approve of her, he obviously did approve of her. When the kids' hugs were done, he did the gross thing of kissing Mommie.

All three girls said, “Eeeeeewwww.”

Daddie said, “Shush, you three girls.”

Beth and Christina got into the backseat. Mommie made sure the two girls were buckled in before looking at her oldest daughter in the seat next to her. Beth handed her sister the doll she always keeps in the car. Chris always thought it was funny that his sister had a car doll. But Christina wasn’t sure if that was silly anymore as she hugged the doll. The young girl was extremely nervous. She had never left her bedroom before, and now she was being dragged ice skating.

She watched out of the window as Mommie drove past the rink where they usually went. Finally, they pulled into a rink’s parking lot. Three of the four family members got out of the car. Heather soon returned to drag her nervous middle sister out of the vehicle. The three girls were ushered inside and directed to hang their coats up.

Mommie said to the skate rental, “I will take a woman’s eight. I also need women’s size six and seven for two of the girls. The youngest needs a four-and-a-half-sized skate.”

Christy put on the white with pink trim skates she was given on. She started to lace them up before tying the shoelace knots. Mommie looked at Christina’s skates and undid the laces before lacing them tighter. Mommie then went to each other girl and ensured their skate laces were done tightly, too. Once that was done, the girls were told to have fun. And having fun is precisely what Chistina did, giggling up a storm while skating around the rink with her sisters.

Christina thought to herself, “I am having a blast. Why wasn’t I true to myself before?”

The new girl just skated around the rink, thinking how this day had gone. She didn’t know if she could stay upright if she skated alone, so she mostly held Beth’s hand. Heather wanted to skate faster than the two younger girls wanted to skate.

After a while, Mommie skated up to the girls and said it was time to leave. The two sisters skated hand in hand to the boards to get off the rink. Once they were off the rink, Mommie helped both of them remove their skates. Heather then handed the two sisters their shoes.

Once back in the car, Christy took stock of her day. She had just spent two hours enjoying herself as herself at an ice skating rink. She didn’t have a heart attack. She watched out the window, finally realizing Mommie wasn’t driving home. She thought this neighborhood was familiar when Mommie finally pulled into a driveway.

Christina tried to melt into the car seat when she realized they were at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. She made no effort to open the car door when the rest of the family got out. She heard Mommie faintly say, “Will one of you two girls go get your sister.”

Well, Christy didn’t get one sister. She got both. Heather opened the door of safety, and Beth dragged her to the front door. Once they got inside, Beth started to be a taskmaster and removed the new girl’s jacket. Mommie gave the new girl a pair of pink slippers to put on instead of the black patent shoes.

The two sisters walked hand in hand to where Mommie and Heather were talking to Grandma in the kitchen. The oldest lady looked at them with a puzzled expression. She asked, “Who is your friend, Beth?”

Beth said, always the tattler, “This is my older sister Christina.”

“I don’t remember having a granddaughter named Christina,” Grandma said. She continued, noticing the girl was highly nervous, motioning for her to come closer, “Come here, sweetie.”

Christy shuffled slowly to her Grandma, but she didn’t get there fully before she had the stuffings hugged out of her by her Granny. The older lady whispered, “Are you worried about my opinion of you?” When the younger girl nodded, Granny continued, “You have nothing to worry about, Princess.”

While still holding on to her middle granddaughter, Granny asked, “Do three want a cookie? They just got out of the oven.”

Heather and Beth grabbed one, and Christina tried to grab one, too. Granny released the girl before sending the girls to the playroom upstairs. Usually, Chris would play with the action figures, but today, she grabbed one of the many dolls sitting around the room and went to the rocking chair. She rocked while she listened to muffled voices coming upstairs between the floorboards. She figured she was the topic of discussion.

Mommie screamed up the stairs, “Girls, food!”

Once again, Christy lagged behind but eventually got to the table. Grandpa must have been briefed, or maybe he didn't connect the dots. He didn't act surprised when three girls walked into the room. Granny quizzed each girl about their New Year plans. Christy said just vaguely, “This.”

Granny was an excellent cook, like usual, but the new girl found it different to eat slowly to avoid getting anything on her dress. When it was time to leave, the grandparents hugged each child. Christy’s hug was no different than the hug she got last week as they were going to the Christmas party. Grandma whispered, “I hope to see you again, Christina.”

The family soon returned home, and the girls were told to get a bath. The baths followed the usual pattern of youngest first, oldest last. When it was Christy’s turn, Mommie helped her out of the dress and took the wig. She looked at the already prepared bath to discover it was a bubble bath. The soap she … he usually used was nowhere to be found. He … she was forced to use the same body wash as Beth used.

While she was in the tub, the door opened a few times. She got out of the tub and dried herself off. Her short hair dried quickly, and she was surprised to find a blue Cinderella nightie and clean purple panties waiting for her. The pink slippers she wore at Granny’s were also waiting for her.

She dressed in the nightie and shuffled across the hall to her … his bedroom. The bottom drawer that he forgot to restore had been restored. Both of his … her dresses were hanging in the closet. The wig was sitting like someone set it carefully on the dresser top. She checked in the hiding space to find it totally empty. He carefully put the wig on her head before walking downstairs to where the family was watching TV, except Heather, who was in the bath. She asked, “Mommie, did I lose my girl clothes? I see the dresses but none of the rest.”

“Some of them are in the dirty laundry. Some have been placed in the drawers where they belong,” Mommie said. She then looked at the time before saying, “Two girls have a half hour until bedtime.”

Christy just decided to snuggle with her little sister while they watched TV. When it was bedtime, she followed her sister upstairs before splitting off into her own bedroom. She carefully set the wig on the dresser before getting into bed.

The following day, after Christy woke up, she was surprised by two piles of clothes sitting on her desk. There was a pink dress draped over the desk chair. White tights and yellow panties were lying nearby.

The other pile was definitely aimed at Chris. There were jeans, socks, and a National Park Service sweatshirt he had got on a recent trip in the pile.

In the middle of the piles was a note obviously written by Mommie, given the handwriting. It asked, “Are you going to remain true to yourself? Pick who you are going to be today.” The girl knew absolutely which pile she was going to reach for.

~o~ The End ~o~
~o~O~o~

Author's Note:Comments and questions are always welcomed. -- Thanks Becky

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Comments

Three Kids

This story hits close to home.

My brother and sister in law had three kids -- two girls, plus a boy named Chris.

Alas, they didn't take it well when Chris came out as Hayley.

Fortunately, Hayley is a married adult and doesn't depend on her parents in any way.

I tried reaching out to her, but she has pretty much cut herself off from the rest of the family.

I can't really blame her. To the rest of the family, she is still a man named Christopher who has a delusion that they are not going to to support. Distancing herself may be the only way to keep from being constantly deadnamed and misgendered.

On the plus side, she has the full support of her wife.

I wish them well, and I applaud their courage to be true to themselves.

NYE Magic

Unfortunately not, just a mother who wonder why a drawer was hard to close after putting away clothes. She pulled the drawer out to look at the bottom and made the discovery of the clothes.

Mommie smirked, coming up to hug the girl. She said, “Who do you think washed your stained clothes collection? I also replaced your tights.”

What a great example

Of how to address a normal curiosity. No angst, shame, or confusing messages. It should be in the lessons plan for Parenting 101.

Ron

Lesson plan

Unfortunately, way too many parents were sick on the day that was taught in Parenting 101.

I Wish My Mum

joannebarbarella's picture

Had been like that.

Thanks Becky.

Mom

I wish my Mom were like that, too. My actual Mom's favorite statement was, "Empty your closet [of girl clothes] so you can meet a girl." That did not go over well with a transgender asexual.

When I was a child…….

D. Eden's picture

I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. Unfortunately, unlike Chris my parents were neither understanding or enlightened enough for me to be true to myself. Chris had the luck of great parents, and the courage of her convictions.

As for me, when I became a man I put away childish things. It was decades later before I was finally able to face my true self and become my true self. For years, I buried my true self and pretended to be who the world expected me to be. In fact, I went out if my way to be more of a man than my family expected me to be, and tried to get myself killed doing it.

Failing that, I damned near did it myself. But eventually, I was true to myself, and am now and always will be.

Would that I had the courage to do as Chris has done at her age.

Great story.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

More?

Will be hearing more from Chris?

More?

I hadn't planned on it. There is a laundry list of characters of mine that demand a book two. I am currently writing Lily's book two / two tiny side stories (Surprise Offer). When that is done, I might look at finishing Danielle's book two (Becoming Danielle) or Laura's book zero (Change Order). They both are started with various completions. Paul / Elizabeth (The Window) also ended with a cliffhanger. A book two of Change Order was planned, too.

There is also an unfinished, unreleased story that predates all my stories in my abandonment pile. That story dates from the 90s and has been abandoned most of that time.

Sweet story

Jamie Lee's picture

This is a really sweet little story. Chris changing was accepted by the whole family, often a rare occurrence. Often, if the child doesn't live up to the parents ideals, hell comes to that home.

Christy's parents give her unconditional love, as do her sisters, no matter if Chris or Christy is present.

It was kind of a give away that someone found his hiding place, when the dress had been cleaned and there was a run free pair of tights there. How long his parents knew isn't important. That they waited for Chris to come out is important, when they could have thrown it all into his face and punished him for his actions.

Others have feelings too.

Sweet story

Jamie Lee's picture

This is a really sweet little story. Chris changing was accepted by the whole family, often a rare occurrence. Often, if the child doesn't live up to the parents ideals, hell comes to that home.

Christy's parents give her unconditional love, as do her sisters, no matter if Chris or Christy is present.

It was kind of a give away that someone found his hiding place, when the dress had been cleaned and there was a run free pair of tights there. How long his parents knew isn't important. That they waited for Chris to come out is important, when they could have thrown it all into his face and punished him for his actions.

Others have feelings too.

Like a fairy tale...

Iolanthe Portmanteaux's picture

It's like a fairy tale, where everything goes right, and the most improbable things quite naturally unfold and become the rule.

A very sweet, very kind story. Thanks.

- iolanthe

Fairy Tale

Unfortunately or fortunately, most of my stories go that way. Oh, I have conflicts, but mostly, the stories end happily ever after.

Happily ever after

That's the kind of story that I like.

Why Not?

Dee Sylvan's picture

A glimpse of the future? Let's hope so. So much courage for not only Christina, but the parents, sisters, grandma and grandpa. :DD TAF

DeeDee

This story

Please write more story like this.very sweet your thoughts.