[This is a slow burn story. The transformation doesn’t happen till a little over halfway through the text of part one, but I really wanted to give the reader a chance to get to know the characters, and their motivations. Enjoy.]

Honey, I’m Home Part 1
By Lauren Bliss

The Social Security Act of 1935 established the first Aid to Dependent Children program. Eddie Martin would tell you that like many first iterations, it didn’t function as advertised. Man-in-the-house policies kept his young unwed mother from receiving any assistance.

Eighteen years old, she was in a family way after giving her young beau a suitably romantic sendoff before he left to fight the Nazis. She assumed they would marry upon his return. They were in love, and while poorly timed, she knew he’d see the baby as a blessing. Eddie’s mother would never see him alive again. Eddie was already three when the letter of condolences arrived. His mother had to hear it from the postman. She never fully recovered from the shock. With no work to be found, and a letter of rejection from the government assistance office, the young woman who never had a chance left her child with her aunt, and disappeared into the night heading out west, never to be heard from again.

While Eddie’s memories of his mother were hazy, he could never forget his Aunt Frances. The first morning after his mother was gone, she cooked the biggest and tastiest breakfast he’d ever had. There wasn’t an inch of space left on the kitchen table. It was a veritable sea of flapjacks, eggs, and bacon. From then on his clothes were always clean and pressed, he was regularly washed and well fed, and every night he went to sleep listening to one of Aunt Frances’ delightful bedtime stories.

Hard work, and perseverance kept them afloat, and eventually they even found themselves a little ahead. When Frances’ favorite niece asked her for no small favor, she was only too happy to help. If anything, she was thrilled to have a child in the house. She’d accepted that having children other own wasn’t in the cards. After little Eddie took her hand for the first time he was her greatest blessing.

Frances had to take some extra mending jobs to make up the difference, but soon enough Eddie was able and willing to help in any way he could. Her voice faded as he grew up, but he always remembered the nights he and his mother would lie cold in their old lumpy bed, her depressed, sobbing as she cradled him from behind while both their stomachs rumbled. Sewing buttons onto old blouses was well worth the regular meals, and his nimble little fingers seemed almost eager to learn the craft. His presence alone was a boon for his aunt as well because she now had a form she could use to tailor shirts, pants, dresses, and skirts alike for children as well, something little Eddie never seemed to mind so much. At the start of fourth grade, Eddie was wearing button down shirts that he patterned and sewed himself.

By his fourteenth birthday, Eddie and his Aunt had their routine down to a science. Without a word between them the two weaved their way through the house, dusting and vacuuming every nook and cranny. Aunt Frances had educated her ward well enough in the kitchen that from time to time, Eddie would give her a night off of her feet. He took to domesticity like a fish to water. She’d quietly lament to herself that he’d be better suited finding a husband than a wife, but at the same time did little if anything to steer the child's behavior in a different direction.

That summer Eddie was out walking when suddenly he heard a girl call out, “Hey you!!” Craning his head in every direction, he spotted a young blonde, no more than a year or so older than himself, barefoot in a pair of pedal pushers, and a floral print button down blouse.

“Me?” he asked while peering around the block looking for the other person she was obviously talking to.

“Do you see anybody else?” came her reply. She flashed her pearly whites and waved him over. Clumsily he fumbled with the latch on the white picket fence gate, and apprehensively approached the porch. Elvis Presley’s rendition of Hound Dog rang out of red portable radio sitting on a nearby table. “Don’t you go to Norwood Jr High?”

Up to this point in Eddie’s life he’d been frequently dismissed as a small, and soft mama’s-boy type. Neither boys nor girls had seemed to have much use for him, other than to trip him in the hallway between classes for a quick laugh. “I…I…d-do.” he sputtered.

The girl’s face lit up with recognition. “I thought you looked familiar! You’re in my homeroom! Do you live around here?”

“A few blocks down the way.” Eddie mumbled, his gaze pointed down to his brown shoe laces while he nervously twiddled his thumbs.

“That’s great news!” The girl was ecstatic. “My dad and I just moved in with Grandma at the start of the year. I thought it was just a bunch of old folks around here. I’m Emily; Emily Jones. Nice to meet ya.” The girl stuck out her hand like she was about to meet the president.

"Eddie Martin," he said, extending his hand with practiced politeness. Emily, however, had other plans. She grasped his hand firmly with both of hers, her grip so enthusiastic it sent a tremor through his voice as he completed his introduction.

“So, tell me Eddie Martin, what’s there to do in this town?”

“Umm…Walk?”

“Sounds more like you’re asking me. There’s a creek down in the woods I found the other day, if you want to explore.”

“You want to play with me?” In the years since he’d moved into his Aunt’s this was the first time anyone anywhere near his own age had expressed a desire to spend any time with him.

The young beauty chortled to herself before saying, “You’re so funny, Eddie Martin. You make it sound like we’re about to play cops and robbers. You seem fun. Why wouldn’t I want to play with you?” The youth cringed to himself as Emily placed extra emphasis on the word play, but her warm smile told him it was all in good fun. After that the two were nearly inseparable.

Emily's social standing at school was no better than Eddie's. Girls could be just as ruthless as boys, and Emily's background as an outsider from the wrong side of town made her as much of a pariah as Eddie. However, she was not one to accept her situation meekly.

One day, as they were walking home together, they caught the attention of a group of older neighborhood boys. The leader of the pack called out, "Is that your new boyfriend, Jones?"

Undaunted, Emily shouted back, “Yeah, Tommy. Your mother told me how big his Johnson was, so I had to find out for myself. She took the petrified and appalled Eddie by the hand, and the two took off down the street, leaving four angry kids fumbling with their bike chains in the dust. After the two got to safety, they shared a laugh while catching their breath. It wasn’t how things were expected to be at the time, but even though Emily added an amount of danger to his life, Eddie still somehow felt safer with her. If she told him to jump off a bridge he’d probably have done it.

A couple of years later when the best friends were in high school the small house across from Emily’s was rented to a new neighbor. It was a Friday afternoon Eddie and Emily were sitting on her porch and a young man exited the little dwelling and crossed the street. “Hey Emily. Is your dad around?”

“Oh, hey Jack! No, he’s off at the store. I can tell him you stopped by.” She smiled one of those infectious smiles while Eddie sat petrified across from her, unable to make eye contact with the young man ripped from the pages of noir detective pulp, tall, dark, and handsome.

“Thanks a bunch. He said he’d help me work on my car when I got a free minute. Just let him know I’ll be home all day, so he can stop by anytime.” Normally, a boy with the kind of chiseled features Jack had would be prime to torture Eddie in some way, but instead this particular one just oozed kindness. “John Lamb, by the way, Nice to meet you.”

The young man offered a handshake which Eddie meekly accepted with a limp fish of a grip. “Eddie Martin.” he mumbled, locking eyes with him for only the briefest of moments.

“Well, Eddie Martin,” Jack started, bulldozing right past the awkward tension, “I live right across the street, and if you ever need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask. A friend of Emily’s is a friend of mine.”

They exchanged pleasantries and Jack disappeared back across the quiet street. “So what’s his deal?” Eddie asked just as he was out of earshot.

“He’s a good guy. Twenty-two or Twenty-three I think. Just got back from Korea a few years ago, but from what I understand he spent most of that time cooped up in some hospital. Our grandmas are bingo friends. I think he just got a job in the warehouse down at the chemical plant.”

“He’s definitely nicer than I was expecting. Probably got girls beating down his door.”

“Are you interested?” Emily teased, prompting Eddie to swat her on the knee. “Honestly though, I don’t think so. Grandma keeps trying to set him up with a few girls from church, but he never takes the bait. I assume he’s more focused on work than anything else. God knows, he’s usually there.”

Sullenly, Eddie lamented, “Must be nice though. To be able to turn down a date without a second thought.”

“Now, don’t be mopey Eddie Martin.” Emily admonished. “He might be taller, and more handsome in that Rock Hudson kind of way…”

“Ouch” Eddie’s expression somehow fell even further.

“Oh hush.” She looked him right in his eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that you’ve got just as much to offer someone. Just different things. That doesn’t mean you’re worth any less than him. Do you think I’m less than Bettie Lou Davenport?”

“That stuck up chatterbox? Of course not.”

“Exactly. Her pretty face doesn’t mean a lot once she opens that fat mouth.”

“I guess I see your point.”

“Exactly! Anyway, there’s no need to fear Jack. He’s a sweetheart.

*

A few weeks later, in the waning sun of the late afternoon, Eddie knocked on Emily’s door.

“What’s up, Eddie?” she asked, answering the door dressed to the nines. Eddie could see clearly from the shine of her midi dress, elegantly clinging to the points of her bullet bra, that Emily had plans tonight.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were busy,” he answered.

“Of course. Tommy Warner is taking me to the pictures tonight,” she said, playfully jabbing Eddie’s shoulder, and stepping onto the porch letting the screen door swing closed behind her. “We talked about it yesterday.

“Oh right…I thought that was thursday.” he said, scratching his head. Eddie was the picture of a creature of habit, but as soon as he was made aware of a deviation in the routine it was typically forgotten.

With a smirk, Emily said, “Today is thursday.”

“Sorry, I’m just so bored. Aunt Frances has been so tied up with the auxiliary fundraiser, and Uncle Cotton has been hogging the radio.”

“Be nice, Eddie. You know he can’t help himself.”

“I know, I know, but I’ve cleaned that house so many times that there’s literally nothing left. I don’t have two dust bunnies to rub together. Why did you have to get so popular?”

“That’s what happens when you open your mouth to talk to other people. You’re never going to make any friends if you don’t learn to let your guard down a little.”

“Ouch.” Eddie clutched at his chest, feigning heartbreak. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are doofus, but you know damn well we wouldn’t be if I didn’t steamroll you into it. Anyway, why don’t you go read a book or something?”

“You know I can’t sit still long enough to read anything. Honestly though, I’d be thrilled if school started back tomorrow. At least I’d have something to do.”

“Well you’re the only one. Speaking of talking to new people, here’s your chance.” Emily waved over Eddie’s shoulder. “Hey Jack! What brings you here this evening?”

Eddie turned to see Jack’s unreasonably handsome countenance stepping through the gate. Hey, Eddie. Hey, Emily. Is your grandma around?”

“I’m afraid not. It would take an act of god to keep her from bingo night.”

“Oh rats. You don’t know anything about sewing buttons do you?”

“Not a thing. I’m afraid I’m all thumbs. Eddie’s a real whiz with a needle though.”

Eddie was speechless, his face flushing a deep crimson. He was not accustomed to discussing his domestic skills with other men. He could only envision the ridicule that would befall him if any of his schoolmates ever saw him wielding a feather duster.

"Really?" Jack inquired enthusiastically, his tone devoid of mockery.

“Ummm…yes…” Eddie managed to sputter.

“That’s great. I used to have a platoon-mate who would handle this kind of thing for the company, but since I’ve been back home, I’m on my own. I’ve got a big meeting in the morning, and if things go well, you could be looking at the newest junior salesman at Tate Chemical”

Emily suggested, patting her petrified friend reassuringly on the back. "Weren't you just complaining about being bored?"

"I suppose I'm not particularly occupied," Eddie managed to blurt out, turning back to Emily with imploring eyes..

"I'll leave you two to it. I've got to get ready for my date." With that, they exchanged farewells, and Emily closed the door, leaving a trembling Eddie to sheepishly follow Jack across the street.

Stepping inside, Eddie was met with an interior reminiscent of his own home from not so many years ago, albeit in a state of disarray. A thick layer of dust seemed to have settled on every surface, undisturbed for an extended period. In the walk-in kitchen, every cabinet stood flung open, their shelves devoid of even a single plate. The few dishes that remained were caked in dried-up rice, while a congealed mass of grease had accumulated in the corner near the sink. The overall olfactory experience was far from pleasant, to say the least.

“Umm…Nice place.” Eddie said, trying to be polite, but breathing exclusively through his mouth.

"I know it's a bit rough," Jack admitted, "Work's been keeping me pretty swamped, so I've mostly just been here to eat, watch TV, and sleep." In nineteen fifty-eight, most homes would have proudly showcased their floor model television set, but the solitary armchair and metal TV tray positioned in front of it exuded a sense of quiet desolation.

“It’s got potential.” Eddie said, trying to be polite. Despite its disheveled condition, Jack's modest abode served to disarm Eddie's perception of him. The aura of invincibility that once surrounded Jack had dissipated, revealing a young man teetering on the brink of collapse.

“I would’ve thought you’d be the one taking Emily out.” Jack said, trying to change the subject.

“Oh no. We’re just friends.” Eddie found the idea silly. The thought had never crossed his mind. “She’s like family.”

“I see”. There was a moment of palpable silence as neither knew how to continue that conversation any further. Clumsily, Jack fumbled to open his bedroom door. “Anyway, let me get that jacket. The button popped right off the cuff, but I managed to save it. I’ve got the thread and everything.” He sat the garment and the tools on the coffee table in front of Eddie, who by now had perched himself on the edge of the couch. “Thanks again. You have no idea how much you’re helping me here. You could very well be changing the course of my entire life. Can I get you a beer?”

Eddie of course had never even smelled beer before, but he didn’t want Jack to know that. “Sure. Thank you.”

Jack trudged towards the fridge, only to recoil in disappointment as he peered inside. "Looks like I'm running on empty," he sighed. "I intended to grab a six-pack on the way home, but I was so excited about tomorrow that it completely slipped my mind. I'll dash to the store real quick. Anything else you need?"

“Not that I can think of.” Eddie replied.

Once Eddie heard the car start outside, he realized he still had his task to do, and with deft little hands, he quickly affixed the button back to its proper place. He glanced at a dusty cuckoo clock and realized that not even five minutes had passed. A quick stroll around the little house, and Eddie could see every surface was covered in something. It was in diametric opposition to what his Aunt taught him a home should be. Perhaps motivated by the ghost of his past, Eddie first found himself washing five dirty plates, the five dirty forks, and the five dirty knives. Another glance to the clock, and it still hadn’t been ten minutes since Jack left.

Upon his return, Jack, laden with beer and cigarettes, found Eddie, broom in hand, sweeping the last corner of the living room into a neat pile of dust in the center of the floor. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, the kitchen tiles were smooth to the touch. "Wow, Eddie, it looks amazing in here," Jack exclaimed, genuinely impressed. "You really didn't have to go to all that trouble."

“No trouble at all.” Eddie said, brushing the last of the dirt into a dustpan. “The button didn’t take me long, so I gave everything a quick once over. I hope you don’t mind, but I found an old t-shirt with a bunch of holes in it on the hallway floor. I used it to polish the furniture.”

“I don’t mind at all. I wear that when I’m working on my car. It’s for getting dirty.” After dumping the pan into the trash, and putting away the tools, Jack handed him a freshly opened can of Schlitz and the two sat down in the living room. “You’re pretty good at keeping house, I see.”

Jack could sense the flicker of embarrassment on Eddie's face. “I live with my aunt, and she's pretty strict about cleaning up after yourself.”

“Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I’d learned those things. My mother was driving me up the wall, so I rented this place as soon as I could, but now I’m realizing I probably should’ve learned to do laundry first. I guess it doesn’t matter too much when I’m wearing the same pair of coveralls to the warehouse everyday, but if I get this new job, I’m afraid I’m in trouble.” He took a pull off of his beer, and set it down on the table before noticing Eddies’ sitting on top of a small metallic coaster. A twinge of guilt later and the table was equally protected from his beer. After lighting a Lucky Strike cigarette, he reached for his ashtray only to see it was now empty, and clean, shining under the overhead light. “I’ve got a proposition for you, Eddie. How would you like to earn a little pocket money?”

“What did you have in mind?” Eddie asked, apprehensive of the direction this conversation could go. His mind paced with a myriad of illicit activities his new older friend might propose. It turned out to be far more tame than he could have ever imagined.

“This place could use a woman’s touch, but I’m not really looking for marriage right now. I’m just so busy with work, and…well, I’ve got my own reasons.”

“Okay…what does that have to do with me?”

“I’m thinking that maybe if this place isn’t such a pig sty then maybe I won’t be so stressed out all of the time. If you can stop in and clean up every few days, I’ll make it worth your while. Nothing too intensive. Just some laundry, and basic upkeep. I’ll get you a key, and you can work at your leisure. What do you think?”

Eddie was blown away by the mundanity of the request. “I guess I don’t see anything wrong with that. That’s it?”

“That’s it. Great!” Jack cheered. He held up his can to toast with Eddie. Eddie followed suit, and after clinking their drinks together Eddie took his first and last sip of beer. His face immediately flushed green and he let out a loud burp, followed by heavily carbonated beer foam which dribbled down the front of his shirt. Jack chucked a little while rushing to grab a towel. He patted Eddie on the back and kindly said, “It’s okay. Beer isn’t for everybody.”

*

The very next day, Eddie began his responsibilities in earnest. His Aunt was thrilled when she heard he’d found a part-time job. Determined to make an excellent first impression, the house he’d only tidied up one day prior was now as immaculate as his own home. One would be hard pressed to find a single speck of dust. The floors were mopped, and the rugs beaten. He gathered up all of Jack’s clothes, thoroughly washed them, hanging them to dry in the backyard. After making his bed with fresh sheets, Eddie noticed Jack’s alarm clock hadn’t been wound. He set it to the correct time, and proudly placed it on the gleaming night stand signifying his job was completed.

Exhausted but victorious, Eddie stood before the final frontier: the bathroom. Grimy surfaces and questionable odors assaulted him, but he persevered. This was the last hurdle, and he wouldn't be defeated by a bit of grime.The walls seemed to be coated in a thick layer of soap scum, and the porcelain of the toilet bowl was coated in a mineral deposit left by the extremely hard water in the neighborhood. Rust was on the joints of every pipe. A small ring of hair sat in the bottom of the tub. Armed with a can of Comet cleaner, rubber gloves, sand paper, scrubbing pads, a hairnet, and one of his aunts’ unadorned pinafores, Eddie spent the next several hours detailing every corner of the facility until it shined like the day it was made.

Around six that evening Eddie was only half satisfied with his work, but felt that he’d done enough for the first day taking comfort in the fact that if he stayed on top of it he’d never have to work so hard again. Exhausted he found his way back to the living room and collapsed on the couch. He drifted off into a fog between sleep and consciousness while moisture in the warm summer air beaded up on his forehead. He wasn’t sure how much time passed when he was snapped back to reality by the sound of a man’s voice.

“Miss. Excuse me…Miss. Are you with Eddie?” Jack was gently prodding Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie, realizing he could barely breath with his face shoved between the couch cushions. “Jesus Christ!” he shouted as he shot up from his unintentional nap. Taking deep breaths he wiped the sleep from his while trying to get his bearings. “Hey, Jack.” he said, his voice rasping. “Sorry I fell asleep. “Wait…Did you call me Miss?” It was then that he realized he was still wearing his Aunt’s pinafore, and his cheeks flushed red.

“Sorry, my mistake. I should have known it was you.” Jack tried not to stare, but with a flowery handkerchief tied around his short chestnut hair, and wearing the oversized pinafore, Eddie didn’t appear too manly. Even with his face now in clear view, he looked more like a young girl borrowing her mother’s apron than the young man he was.

Practically tearing the cloth off of his body, Eddie rushed to explain. “I don’t normally wear this stuff when I clean, but my aunt is pretty insistent that when the job calls for it, I should protect my clothes.”

“No need to explain any further. I completely understand. This place was grody.” A quick stroll around the apartment, and Jack was thrilled with the results. “You do phenomenal work. You’d never know the biggest slob in the world lived here.”

“It really wasn’t that bad.” Eddie was being polite. It really was. “I still have a little bit more to do before it's as clean as I’ll endeavor to keep it.”

“If you do half as good of a job from now on, you’re worth every penny.”

“What time is it?” Eddie asked. He could still taste a mixture of dry mouth and couch lint.

“Almost eleven. Happy hour ran long tonight. I was celebrating.”

“My aunty is going to kill me…Did you say celebrating?” His foggy mind cleared enough for Eddie to realize the implications of Jack’s words. “You got the job?! Congratulations!”

“Thank you. Really, I owe it all to you.” Jack was truly grateful, but Eddie found it strange to be praised for something so mundane.

“All I did was sew a button.”

“You changed the course of history.” Jack laughed. “Seriously though, old man Tate is a stickler for the details. I’ll probably have a few extra jobs in the near future.

“Whatever you need. Just let me know.” Belongings in hand, Eddie found his feet.

“At least let me drive you home.” Jack offered. “It’s pretty late. I can explain to your aunt that you were just over here, hard at work.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. It’s just a few streets over. “I’ll get an earful about not calling, but that’s probably it.”

“If you’re sure?”

“I insist. You get some rest. I’ll be back before the weekend is over to get everything finished up. Have a good night.”

*

Over the next two years Eddie’s life was stable. While he wasn't an A student, his grades were fine considering his plans were to apprentice with a tailor once he finished high school. True to his word, Jack paid him twenty dollars every week for a job well done. Keeping the house spotless required next to no effort compared to his Aunt's oversized Victorian home. Still, he made it a point to never leave his duties half done. Jack would frequently tell Eddie he only needed to swing by every few days, but without fail, everyday when he arrived home from work, he found his domicile spotless.

Their lives rarely overlapped. By the time Jack stumbled home from after-work drinks, Eddie was already tucked away in bed. Young, ambitious salesmen like Jack juggled endless morning strategy sessions with nights of client wining and dining, leaving barely enough time to sleep off the booze before the cycle started anew. Eddie's quiet routine was a stark contrast to Jack's whirlwind.

Despite their schedules rarely aligning, Eddie and Jack occasionally found moments to chat after Eddie's chores were done. It was easy to see why Jack excelled in sales. He possessed a charm, a wit that could disarm a landmine, and a smile that could unlock a bank vault. Eddie, in his quiet way, couldn't help but be drawn to Jack's magnetic energy.

Eddie might not have noticed, but Jack admired him deeply. From his stories of a tough childhood, Jack saw a kid who'd climbed mountains to get where he was. Though dealt a rough hand, Eddie never let it break him. He found gratitude in the smallest things, and slowly, cautiously, opened his heart to those he cared about. Witnessing such resilience, Jack found himself drawn to the spirit he so desperately wanted to cultivate within himself.

It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually Eddie trusted Jack the same as he did Emily. The second time Jack found him in a pinafore, scrubbing some stain out of one of his shirts, Eddie blushed the same shade of crimson, but kept diligently working on his task. By the fifth, it was old hat, and never noticed, let alone spoken of again.

*

Tragedy struck in the summer of 1960. That May, Eddie graduated high school. Aunt Frances shed tears of Joy when Eddie walked across the stage at his graduation. It was a moment she had dreamed of. She knew school was rough for the soft boy but he toughed it out for her. That evening, over dinner, she had big news.

Frances had been stashing money away, and in two months time, for the first time ever, they were going to take a family vacation; a nice little rental property on the coast. She even made arrangements to bring Uncle Cotton. For the first time in his life, Eddie was starting to believe everything was going to be okay. A month later, Aunt Frances died in her sleep. The doctors said it was an aneurism.

Cotton Brundy may have been a kind and loving uncle in a different life, but the brain damage he suffered during the first world war left him a shell of his former self. When he arrived home from Germany unable to tie his own shoes or form coherent sentences, Frances remained the faithful and dutiful wife. She kept him clean, and fed, while he sat quietly by the radio day after day. Money was a struggle at first, but the house was paid for, and eventually, after years of congress dragging its feet, World War I veterans started receiving benefits for their service. It was a bumpy road, but Frances made it all work. One thing she didn’t have was help from Cotton’s family.

Eddie was sitting quietly on the couch during the wake. Since his Aunt passed he’d barely said a word. The ladies auxiliary for the VSO handled all of the funeral arrangements. Every few hours one of her tea companions would arrive with a casserole and condolences, and he’d be in such a fog that he barely understood anything anyone was saying to him.

“...and I’m not entirely unsympathetic to your situation, but given that I now have power of attorney over my brother’s estate, I have to make tough decisions for him, and I don’t see how it benefits him to have some unrelated eighteen year old boy wandering around the house.”

“Wait…what are you saying?” Eddie asked, having only heard every other word.”

“Here.” She pulled five twenty dollar bills from her purse, and stuffed them into Eddie’s shirt pocket. “I can give you a few days, but you have to be gone by next week. I know your mother didn’t know a thing about responsibility. I hope you’re not the same. I’d hate to have to call the sheriff.”

*

“That stuck up bitch!” Emily shrieked. She, Eddie, and Jack were sitting on the porch a few hours later. Uncle Cotton’s sister didn’t have any use for Eddie so she cast him out onto the street and Emily was furious about it.

“Emily! Language!” her grandmother shouted from the living room through the screen door.

“Sorry Grandma!” she shouted back before whispering to her friends. “She’s been driving me crazy ever since she got gout. Remember when she was never here? Wasn’t that nice?...oh…Sorry Eddie. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Huh?” Emily was worried she’d said the wrong thing. Here she was complaining about her family, when Eddie had just lost all of the family he had left. He was so trapped in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice. “What am I going to do? I was going to try and find an apprenticeship this summer, but if I’m paying rent, I’ll need a paycheck. Do you know if they’re hiring in the warehouse at Tate?”

“Umm, I’m not sure…” Jack answered. “...but honestly, I don’t think that would be the best job for you.” Jack was being nice. There wasn’t a world where Eddie would be physically able to perform half the tasks required of the position. On top of that, he was certain that even if he pulled strings, and asked for a favor, the guys in the warehouse would eat him alive.

Eddie was forlorn. “Okay then. If you don’t want me there, I understand. I’ve got enough money for a hotel, at least for a little while. I’ll figure something out.”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Jack quickly explained, “It’s not that I don’t want you there. I don’t think you’d be happy though. How’s this? Why don’t you just stay with me?”

“That’s a great idea!” Emily agreed. “You know Jack is a good guy. He won’t kick you to the curb. On top of that, I’ll be right across the street.”

“I insist. For now, you just keep taking care of the house, and I think you’ve earned a raise by now. Room and board is included.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie couldn’t believe the kindness he was receiving. He was certain that his life was gearing towards yet another decline, but instead he found himself with the safety net of close friends, and suddenly he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

“Absolutely.”

Emily added. “Tomorrow we can borrow my dad’s truck and get you moved. What all are you taking?”

“I guess I really only have my bedroom furniture. Nothing else there is mine.” Eddie’s breath shuddered as he wiped his tears on his sleeve.

“Nonsense. Frances would have wanted you to keep some things to remember her by. That old witch and her husband are just gonna sell the house anyway, I’m sure of it. I doubt the grave robber has taken an inventory yet. Bring anything of hers you want to keep.”

Eddie may have found Emily’s cavalier attitude a little haphazard, but it still managed to rub off on him a little. He didn’t take too much. Just a box stuffed with a few of her favorite costume jewelry pieces, various scraps of fabric, some needles, thimbles, other sewing accouterments, some cookware, and a few recipe journals jotted down in her own hand. He thought it better to leave anything of value, than risk any conflict. Still, it was enough, he thought. As long as he had something to remember by, it was good enough for him.

The first night in his new room, Eddie spent staring at the ceiling. His mind drifted back to his childhood. He remembered his mothers old room; the walls bare, and the stench of mildew in the air. The spare bedroom at Jack’s wasn’t too different. Having sat empty for years, it still had the faint smell of the last coat of paint. Only a few boxes stuffed with some of Jack’s old things sat in the corner, long ignored and forgotten. It certainly didn’t radiate the same warmth as his Aunt’s home. As he was finally drifting off to sleep, he could have swore he heard crying coming through the thin alder door.

*

The next morning, Jack awoke to the smell of bacon wafting through the little house. He rubbed his eyes, and fumbled around his nightstand till he felt the soft foil pack of his Lucky Strikes. Pulling himself up, he lit a smoke, and replayed the events of the previous day. He’d gotten used to living alone over the previous few years. It was a welcome change of pace when compared to the barracks, or worse yet, the field hospital where he spent his last four months overseas. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of having another person so close again, but he knew Eddie was a good kid that definitely didn’t deserve the bum lot he’d been given. Cohabitation would take some getting used to, but if waking up to the smell of breakfast was part of the deal, he thought he just might be able to get used to it.” All he had to do was keep his other problem in check.

“Good morning.” Eddie said chipperly, standing in front of the stove, already fully dressed and ready to face the day head on.

Still wearing his robe and pajamas, Jack nodded his greetings, and took a seat at the table. “You really didn’t have to go to the trouble with breakfast. What time did you wake up?”

“It’s no trouble at all. I usually start my day around six. Piggly Wiggly opened at seven so I decided to do a little shopping. It’s the least I can do. I really don’t want to be a burden. Just give me a few days, and I’ll be out of your hair.” Eddie fixed a plate, and placed it in front of Jack. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

“Eddie, hush. That’s enough of that talk. You’re not a burden. We talked about this yesterday. Please don’t feel obligated to rush to find somewhere else. You’re staying here for as long as you need to, and not a moment less.” Jack stabbed a few of the sizzling home fries with his fork, and after blowing on them for a moment took a bite. As he slowly chewed and the complex flavors filled his pallet, his expression shifted from inquisitiveness, to surprise, and then what appeared to be an almost orgasmic pleasure. While he fixed his own plate, Eddie would steal glances at Jack. Internally he was beaming with pride at what he knew to be a job well done. “This is delicious!” Jack gushed as soon as his mouth wasn’t too full to do so. He quickly filled his fork again, and took another bite. Crumbs falling from his lips, he continued, “A burden? More like a blessing. This is the best damn meal I’ve had in ages.”

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth.” Eddie replied matter-of-factly. He took his seat, and blushed, feeling like he just channeled Aunt Frances from beyond the grave. “I mean…I’m glad you like it. Aunt Frances always said it’s important to start your day with a good meal.”

Unfazed by Eddie’s playful admonishment, Jack continued to hoover up every morsel on his plate. He actually found it a pleasant start to his day. They sat quietly at the table, each nose deep in a different section of the newspaper.

“I better get started cleaning up.” Eddie said, as he folded up his paper neatly, and started collecting the plates.

“You know, a man could get used to this.” Jack mused while he watched Eddie maneuver around the kitchen. “Can you make dinner?”

“I can make anything.” Eddie answered proudly.

“Well, I know I wouldn’t mind having a home cooked meal every now and then. Ahh, but I can’t in good conscience expect you to shoulder that burden.”

“It’s no burden, really.” Eddie said. “I don’t mind. I have to eat anyway. Cooking for two is no more work than cooking for one.”

“Can you afford it though?”

Eddie slumped over. “I guess I didn’t think about that. I’m used to having someone else pay for the groceries.”

“How about this? On top of your wages, I’ll give you a stipend for whatever you need for the kitchen, and you can cook our meals while you’re staying here. What do you think?”

“You’re too kind.” Eddie said. He almost broke into tears, but managed to hold himself back. That wasn’t the kind of thing these men were supposed to do after all.

Rubbing his full belly, Jack said, “You say that, but I’m pretty sure I’m the one getting the better deal.”

Over the course of the week, the pair continued to adjust to the new living arrangement.. Jack continued his work days as he always had, only now, he never left home with an empty stomach. He’d come back every night and sure enough, there would be a nice hot meal waiting on the table. If he thought Eddie kept his place clean before, now that he was there full time, it was on another level. The finest white linen glove would struggle to find dirt in the home.

Every day Eddie would wake first. After his morning toilet, he’d start on breakfast. Once Jack was fed and out the door, he’d clean the kitchen, then get dressed for the day. He took the bus to see a potential employer, and would stop by the market for any odds and ends on the way back. Home by mid afternoon, he’d collect Jack’s laundry from his bedroom floor, and make his bed. Eddie would give them a good scrub, and run them through the wringer, finishing by hanging them in neat orderly rows on the clothesline in the backyard.

After dinner, Jack would retire to the living room to watch television, while Eddie scurried around the house, looking for a project. He polished Jack’s shoes. He folded their Laundry. He even organized his records in alphabetical order. That Saturday evening Eddie was dusting the ceiling fans for the third time. Jack was so distracted by all the commotion he could barely pay attention to his show. He joked, “You know, those things have to get dirty first before they need to be cleaned again.”

“What?” Eddie was confused. The idea of doing nothing for doing nothing’s sake was foreign to him.

“I appreciate everything. Really I do, but I think you might be overdoing it a little. There’s really no need. You’re making me nervous. Why don’t you relax a little? You can watch Perry Mason with me.”

“What’s that?”

“Only the best show on television.”

“Oh…okay…I guess.” Eddie stepped down from the ottoman he was using to reach the ceiling. He sat on the couch behind Jack, and tried to be quiet, but Jack could still clearly hear him frantically rubbing his fingers to his thumbs.

He turned behind him and said, “If you really need something to do with your hands, there’s a small hole in the pocket of my trousers that needs mending.”

That was all the prompting Eddie needed. He jumped right up, and fetched his sewing kit, and Jack’s pants before returning to the couch. “So what’s this show about?” he asked, while running a strand of white thread through the eye of his needle.

“He’s a lawyer. Fighting for the little guy. A mystery of the week kind of show.”

“That sounds interesting. You know, I might be able to see it better if you move your chair.”

“Move my chair?”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to order you around?”

“No, I mean, where should I move it to? I’ve never really thought about it before. This would be the first time I’ve not sat in here by myself.

“That’s surprising. I was positive you would have had a girl here by now.”

“Nope just me…” For the briefest of moment’s Jack’s gaze stared off into the distance. “But, anyway, where should I put the chair?”

“Well, we didn’t have a tv back home, but we had a radio. Aunt Frances had the armchair arranged ninety degrees from the couch on the side of the coffee table. That way you didn’t have to crane your head to hear the radio, but you could still face any guest you had sitting on the couch.”

“Let’s do it.” Jack said excitedly, clapping his hands as he stood. He had been brainstorming for days, trying to think of a way that might help Eddie feel like this was his home too. Jack effortlessly picked it up, and placed it back down where Eddie suggested. Eddie, who just the day prior had struggled to slide the furniture enough to sweep underneath, marveled at the sheer strength of his new housemate.

“What about this?” Jack asked, pointing to the metal tray table left isolated in the middle of the room.

“If you won’t be needing it, then I guess just stick it in the hall closet.”

“That’s fine with me. I’ve never really had an eye for this sort of thing. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.”

“Honestly?” Eddie asked, unsure if Jack meant what he was saying or if he was just being nice.

“Honestly.” Jack assured him. “It does sort of feel like a hospital. I imagine there’s room for improvement.”

“A hospital at least has some pictures hanging on the walls.” Eddie said, then as he realized the bluntness of his words buried his face into his hands.

“None of that, now.” Jack said with a chuckle. “You were just being honest like I asked. You’re totally right. How about tomorrow we take a trip into town, and do a little shopping? I really value your opinion. It’s about time this place looked more like a home and less like a barracks.”

The next weekend, their new purchases were being delivered, and things were starting to come together. The end tables now featured frames filled with pictures of Jack’s family. A hutch for their keys was set up just beside the back door. The walls were adorned with a few prints of some rather pleasant landscape paintings. Even Jack’s room was no longer the barren dwelling of a single workaholic. Eddie’s favorite touch was the silk flowers in porcelain vases now resting in the centers of the many formerly barren end tables.

*

Over the next few months Jack quickly moved up the ladder at work. Unlike some of the other salesmen, he always arrived looking clean and dapper, no matter how late he had been out courting new clients. This didn’t go unnoticed by his superiors. When some of the guys started their inquisition into his neatly packed lunches he tried to brush them off at first.

Eddie was undeniably soft. His interests were far from what was considered manly at the time. He was small, fair skinned, and he carried himself with a grace that was widely considered unsuited to his gender.

Jack never cared about any of that. If anything, he appreciated Eddie’s sensibilities. He completely understood they were the reason things had been coming together for him at work. His job, his yard, and his automobile became the only things he’d had to worry about. Eddie took care of everything else. To top it all off Jack always looked like a million bucks, and his stomach never growled.

However Jack knew that if he told the truth, and said that his male roommate had been the one pressing his shirts, then they’d probably assume he was a homosexual. It would surely kill his career. He’d learned in his few years in the office that nothing got around faster than gossip.

Tired of the relentless prodding, Jack decided on a lie, and he knew every good lie contained a little bit of truth. One day huddled around the lunch table he told a few of his fellow juniors about how the girl he’d been seeing for almost two years, Edie, had some family troubles, and needed a place to stay, so they were shacking up now. He talked about how she was basically his new wife already, and that they were really just missing the paperwork, but he didn’t want anyone at the office to find out he was living in sin.

The story proved good enough since his friends stopped harassing him about it, and he figured that if word did get out, he’d probably get some judgemental looks from a few of his more conservative superiors, but not so much that he couldn’t win them back with hard work. It was definitely preferable to the alternative.

*

Around the same time, Eddie was finally starting to think of the house as his home. The trauma he carried from childhood was hard to let go of, but Jack had been reliable and kind enough that he could manage to at least halfway trust him not to toss him out of the street the next day. His only major issue were the unsettling wails that could occasionally be heard coming from Jack’s room.

One night things seemed to be far worse than normal. After about an hour of hearing them slowly taper off only to start again a minute later, it was more than Eddie could bear. Nervously, he tiptoed outside Jack’s bedroom door, and cracked it open. Peeking in, he saw Jack thrashing around on his bed. His eyes were half closed, but his face wore an expression of pure terror.

Slowly, Eddie stepped inside and cautiously approached the bed. He placed his hands on Jack’s shoulder, and with a soothing tone whispered, “Jack, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.” He couldn’t have known that Jack would shoot up, and grab him by the throat with both hands.

Jack slammed Eddie down onto the bed, and through half open eyes, straddled over his torso. Eddie couldn’t breath, and panic set in. There was no way he could fight the much larger man off. Summoning all his courage, Eddie opened his hand and slapped Jack across the face as hard as he could.

Jack snapped back to reality. He looked down at Eddie with a face full of rage at the rude awakening he’d just experienced, only to see the red faced boy struggling beneath him. Horrified with himself, he immediately let go, and pulled Eddie tightly into his chest. Through sobs he wailed, “I’m so sorry!”

Once Eddie knew he was safe, he caught his breath, and with tears streaming down his cheeks, he wrapped his arms around Jack in return. The two held each other for nearly an hour, not a word said between them. As their grips slowly loosened Eddie noticed the raised scars all across Jack’s back, under his nightshirt.

“What happened, Jack?” Eddie asked, breaking the silence as the two finally released their embrace. “That was scary.”

“You have no idea how sorry I am.” Jack said, his shame apparent. “I should be able to handle myself better than that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No…Yes...I don’t know…” Jack grabbed a cigarette from his nightstand, and after lighting it, leaned back against the headboard. He took a deep breath and started to tell his story. “You know I was in Korea. Well, my dad died in the second world war. The man that came to our house to tell us said he was trying to save another soldier. They went to liberate Europe, and they succeeded. He told me my dad died a hero...”

“Of course, when things broke out on the peninsula, I couldn’t sign up fast enough. Dad was a hero for fighting the Nazis. I was going to be a hero for fighting the Commies.” He took another drag off his smoke, and chuckled to himself. “Sure the north invaded the south, but it wasn’t that cut and dry. The south got so many kids killed. They were ruthless. It was all so fucked up and messy.”

“I built up this idea that when I met the enemy for the first time, it would be the ultimate test of my manhood. It was actually the scariest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced. I ended the life of a man who was glaring at me with the kind of hatred one would be expected to have for the monster invading your home. I did this, knowing I wasn’t the good guy, and I did it because I was too afraid to die.”

“In the north it was so cold, and the bodies were everywhere half buried in the frozen ground. We had to use dynamite to break up the soil…It was too hard to dig out the dead. Anyway, this one time…the last time, something went wrong, and some fuel or something went up right in front of me. I was lying on the ground just after the fellas managed to put me out and the pain was so bad that I guess my brain decided to stop feeling it. It was strange. I couldn’t stop laughing. Even though it was miserable, I just laughed and laughed because I knew I was finally going to get to go home.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie whispered. He could not imagine living through the experience. The moment was surreal. Jack, this man he'd built up in his own mind as a titan of toughness, was openly weeping right in front of him. “You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. To go through something like that, and to continue on. I don’t think I’d have the strength.”

“It was hard for a while. I had a few rounds of skin grafts. Fortunately I didn’t have any rejection issues, so after PT it's been smooth sailing. Physically I’m back to one-hundred percent, but the doctors said kids probably aren’t in my future. Anyway, I’m pretty scared up down there, so I just decided I wasn’t going to worry about women. No point in setting myself up for disappointment, right?”

“Well I think any woman would be lucky to have you.” Eddie said, trying to comfort his friend. As far as he was concerned, any woman who’d reject such a great guy because he wasn’t physically perfect isn't worth having.

“Anyway, after I got home, I was staying with my mom when the nightmares started. The only way to curb them was for her to hold me till I fell asleep. Something about her warmth kept me grounded. It reminded me I was safe. Eventually though, the shame was too much. It’s not normal for a grown man to still sleep with his mommy. That’s why I moved here.”

“Last year they gave me some pills at the VA to help with sleep, but I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, so I threw them away. I stopped waking up on the floor, so it was good enough for me. I mean, I’m usually a little tired all the time, but it’s fine. I guess it’s just been so long since I’ve felt human heat. Without it my lonely mind wants to drift back to that frigid nightmare."

Eddie was still concerned. “I hear you almost every night. Tonight was just the worst it's ever been. I’m surprised you ever have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning, let alone do anything else.”

“I didn’t know it was bothering you.” Jack said, lip quivering. He was overwhelmed by guilt.

“You’re not bothering me, goober.” Eddie chastised. “I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Well, someone has to, and you’re certainly not.” Surprising the both of them, Eddie commanded, “Lie back down.” Jack complied, but curiously kept his eyes fixed on Eddie. Eddie turned off the lamp and climbed into bed next to Jack. “Just..don’t think too much about this. We can sleep back to back, and maybe that will help.”

“You don’t have to do this, Eddie.” Jack said. If Eddie could see in the dark, it would have been the first time he’d seen the man blush. “I really don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not. If I didn’t want to help then I wouldn’t. That’s enough of that talk. Go to sleep.”

Jack decided not to argue any further, and rolled over hoping he hadn’t just scared off the housemate he’d grown so fond of having around.

Unfortunately for Eddie, Jack kept him awake for another twenty minutes just from snoring. However, when Jack rolled over in his sleep, and wrapped his arm around Eddie like he was a teddy bear, Eddie was trapped, but for whatever reason, he was out the same as Jack, snoring be damned.

*

Come the next spring, Eddie's life had settled into a routine as time passed with the chores, spending time with Emily, their relationship changing from one of just friendship and into something more like they were siblings.

In his mind, he had been cruising down easy street. It wasn’t that he didn’t work hard. Even though he spent several hours every day gabbing with Emily on her porch, he still spent more time keeping Jack’s house immaculate, and keeping Jack fed and happy than most people put into their full time jobs. He mostly did this out of gratitude, but in the back of his mind, he also did it out of fear that if he didn’t carry his weight, one day Jack wasn’t going to have a use for him anymore.

Eddie wanted to believe that wasn’t the case, but his heart was scarred by loss. His mother had abandoned him, but it led to him living the best years of his life with his Aunt. He had love, and a home. It took time, but once again he was able to feel safe. And then, without warning, it was all stripped away from him.

Other times Eddie felt guilty. Occasionally a voice would creep into the back of his mind telling him he was a burden, and that everyone would be better off without him. The idea that he was preventing Jack from finding a happy ending would worm its way into his thoughts.

“I won’t hold it against you, if you need me to leave, you know?” he said to Jack, one morning over their breakfast.

“Are you on about this again?” Jack chuckled, a small crumb of toast falling onto the table. “You’re a godsend. I’d be happy if you never left. It wouldn’t feel like home if you weren’t here.”

Eddie couldn’t believe him. “I’m being serious, Jack. You deserve happiness. If you meet the right girl, and you want to settle down I’ll understand. Sure, not a single tailor in this town seems to have any use for an apprentice, but I’ll get by somehow. Someone needs a janitor somewhere. I’m very grateful, but you’ve done enough already.”

“I’m also being serious.” Jack retorted. “Look at me, Eddie.” Still pouting, Eddie raised his eyes to meet Jack’s. “I am not looking for anyone to marry. I’m not looking for anyone to date. I’m perfectly content with my life as it is right now. Things are great at work. I’m sleeping like a baby. This is the best I’ve felt in years. I understand our arrangement is perhaps a little unorthodox, but frankly I don’t give a damn about that.”

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked. Jack could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Of course I’m sure. If anything, I should be the one worried about you leaving.”

A year of shared space finally allowed Eddie to exhale. Occasionally those whispers would creep back in, but the times between grew further apart. He grew bolder, even threatening to sleep in his own room if Jack didn’t cut back on the smoking before bed.

Eddie never slept on his own anymore save the occasion when Jack was out late working. He even found it difficult to fall asleep without the drone of Jack’s snoring in the background. The second time they shared the bed it was just as tense as the first, but the same as before, neither were awake long enough to dwell on it too deeply. By the twentieth time, they were spooning before either were asleep. Jack was taken aback when Eddie for the first time mentioned their unusual practice outloud. Taking the threat seriously, he cut back to half a pack a day, and he stopped smoking in the bedroom. What he didn’t know was that Eddie would have never followed through.

*

One Saturday the following September, the phone rang. “Lamb residence.” Eddie answered.

“Bless my lucky stars. Do I have the pleasure of speaking with fair Edie? I’ve heard so much about you. If you’re as pretty as you sound, then Jack is a lucky man. Is he around?”

“Umm…yes…May I ask who’s calling?”

“Leonard Jenkins, my dear.”

Eddie was befuddled. He set down the receiver and shouted out the back door to the man pushing a mower, dripping in sweat. “Jack, the phone is for you!”

Jack shut off the machine, and jogged back up to the little house. “Who is it?” he mouthed.

“Someone named Leonard.”

Jack rolled his eyes.

He took the phone, and took a deep breath, channeling all his patience. “Hey Leonard. Nope…no…I understand…it’s in the Saratoga folder…not a problem…I’ll be there…okay…okay…have a…I hear you Leonard…I’ll be there…Have a nice day. See you Monday.” After hanging up he spoke just one more word. “Asshole.”

Eddie handed Jack a cold glass of iced tea, which he happily accepted. He almost choked however when mid-gulp, Eddie asked “Who is Edie?”

Through coughs Jack managed to get out, “What?!”

“Your boss seemed to think my name was Edie. I’m pretty sure he thought I was a woman. Why would he think that?” Jack was taken aback by how intimidating a five foot three inch tall nineteen year old boy in a white pinafore could be when he was standing arms crossed, tapping his foot firmly and rhythmically on the hardwood floor.

“First off, he’s not my boss. I’ve been partnered with that Jackass on a new account. I’ve only got to deal with him until the contract is signed, then they’re his to maintain, since he’s the senior. God, I hope that’s soon. I’m sick of being his errand boy.”

“That’s great. Who’s Edie?”

“Oh, right…I guess you are?”

“Explain."

“You know our…arrangement…well, I obviously don’t have a problem with it, but you know other people might.”

“Go on.”

“Well, the guys at work started noticing how all of a sudden I’m showing up to work with my shirts freshly pressed everyday, and with neatly boxed lunches miles ahead of the peanut butter sandwiches I’d been making. I was afraid the guys might think we were homosexuals. I don’t really care about that, but if a rumor like that got around the office it could ruin me. So…anything you actually do for me, Edie does for me.”

“Okay…” Jack watched Eddie’s face contort as he processed this new information. “So what’s her story then?”

“Same as yours mostly. I told them I met her a few years ago. She had some family troubles and needed a place to stay, so she moved in. That she’s completely redecorated my house, and how she’s more or less my little housewife in training.”

“Training you say?” Eddie was perturbed with that particular comment, but understood the need for the lie. “So they think you’ve had a girl living here for over a year, and we’re not even engaged?”

“Pretty much.” Jack replied. He didn’t know what to make of Eddie’s reaction. He saw the wheels turning in Eddie’s mind, and could only hope that whatever punishment he had to swallow wouldn’t be too bad.

“Well that won’t do. I can’t have them thinking I’m cheap. I hope you’ve protected my honor.”

Jack almost spit out his tea again. “You mean, you’re not mad.”

“No, I get it. Our living situation would definitely turn heads. I better be a virgin in this fictional universe though.”

“Of course…You’ve got your own room, and everything. I haven’t changed too much about you honestly.

“Right…still though, this could still be a problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“If your superiors get wind that you’ve had a girl in your home for a year, which they probably have, and you haven’t proposed, then they might get the idea that you can’t commit to anything. You might get passed over for a promotion.”

“I’m still confused. Say it in plain english.”

“We should get engaged…I mean you and Edie obviously.”

“What?”

“You tell them you and Edie have gotten engaged. Give it about six months, and then you can actually use some of that vacation time to take that fishing trip you’ve been talking about. When you get back, tell everyone you eloped.”

“So Edie will be my…?”

“Wife.”

“...Wife…You’re sure?”

“Yes, I think it would be best.”

“Well, okay then.”

“It’s settled then. Now get back out there, and finish the grass. I don’t want the neighbors to think we’re trashy.”

Eddie did think that it was the best decision when it came to Jack’s career, but also, he used it as a sort of litmus test. If Jack decided to go along with this story, then it was like saying he didn’t actually need a real wife. To Eddie it was proof that he was truly wanted.

When the time finally came towards the end of winter for the fishing trip, Jack was insistent that Eddie come along. They headed further south until the air had a tinge of warmth during the day again. Jack was up bright and early every morning, out of the peer of the rental lake cabin. Eddie had no use for the dewy cold however. If he wasn’t fixing their meals, he spent his time by the wood stove, putting the finishing touches on a dress he’d been making Emily for her next birthday.

*

Not too long before his fictitious nuptials, Jack had finally been promoted to a senior sales position. At least to him it felt like it finally happened. Truth be told, he was climbing the corporate ladder faster than any of his peers. H. Ernest Tate, the president of Tate Chemical, rarely paid any mind to his salesforce beyond their final interview with him. As his age advanced, he allowed others to handle the day to day minutia of running a large corporation, while he focused on the bigger picture..

He did however take a keen interest in one small detail, a young salesman he’d hired a year prior. When he first scanned over John Nathaniel Lamb’s resume, he took note of his military service. When Tate entered the business world nearly all of his colleagues had served at some point, but as his company grew, slowly but surely the old guard left, and in their place were a bunch of fresh faced ivy league legacies, and grade A ass-kissers. He knew Jack didn’t have the education or experience of many of the other candidates. His only experience after the marines had been as a warehouse worker. Tate believed in giving his employees a chance to prove themselves, and he assumed because of Jack’s service that he could handle the pressure so at the snap of his fingers the least qualified candidate got the job. When he checked the sales board every week and the same name was at the top, he was pleased to know he’d made the correct decision.

Of course, when Mr. Tate heard the news that his favorite salesman he’d been silently championing from the sidelines had tied the knot, he was over the moon. Jack Lamb was checking every box in the category of the exemplary Tate Chemical man. He was smart, handsome, and charming, with the ability to always make a person feel like they were playing for the same team. Now, to top it all off, he was starting a new family. Mr. Tate saw a bright future ahead for him.

When the dreaded summons arrived, Jack's stomach lurched. President Tate? Fired, for sure. The walk to his office was a mental marathon, each step a desperate attempt to plan for the fallout, for the inevitable disruption to his and Eddie's stability. As he braced himself for the secretary's hand on his shoulder, a proffered cigarette, a blindfold against the blow, Mr. Tate's enthusiastic handshake jolted him back to reality. Anxiety melted away, replaced by a bewildering hope.

“Jack, my boy, come in.” The old man’s smile was evident despite his bushy white walrus mustache obscuring most of his lips. “I understand congratulations are in order.”

“Thank you, sir,” Jack said. The lie he and Eddie had come up with naturally flowed from his lips. He’d told the story at least a dozen times by this point. He regaled Mr. Tate with the tales of his Las Vegas wedding; about how they had originally planned for a church wedding at home, but they loved each other so much they decided they couldn’t wait another minute. He told this story with the confidence of a brand young father showing off pictures of his new baby. That confidence was quickly shattered by the time his boss finished his next sentence.

“How would you feel about having me and the missus over for dinner this evening so we can meet your lovely wife, and then, after we eat, you and I can discuss your future here? I see big things, son…big things…”

“Uhh…Thank you sir…uhh…”

“Excellent. I’ve already spoken with Ronnie, and she’s going to meet us here after we lock up, and we’ll follow you back.”

“Yes sir.”

With a wink, Mr Tate shook Jack’s hand and whispered, “One piece of advice, son. I’d suggest that whenever the boss is coming over for dinner, you let the missus know as soon as possible, or there’s a very good chance you’ll be sleeping in the doghouse tonight.”

Hoping that sweat wasn’t pouring down his forehead as bad as he was imagining, through a forced grin, Jack whispered back, “We don’t have a dog, sir.”

“Then you better hope it’s not raining.” Mr. Tate laughed, and with a friendly swat to his back, he sent Jack back to work.

As soon as he got to his desk, he picked up the phone, and asked for an outside line. “Don’t panic.” were the first words out of his mouth when Eddie answered.

“You’ll need to be more specific.” Eddie replied. “Also, the best way to keep me from panicking is probably not to start with, don’t panic.”

“Your wedding plan might have worked a little too well. Mr Tate might be thinking about giving me another promotion.”

“Well that’s great news. Why would I panic?”

“He and Mrs. Tate are coming for dinner tonight so we can discuss it.”

“Well, I’m going to have to get to the grocery, but there’s still plenty of time. I don’t see why there’s a need to pa…oh shit…”

“Exactly!” Jack said, a little too loudly. A few eyes briefly glanced towards his desk. Forcing his voice back down to a harsh whisper, he asked, “What are we going to do?”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, this isn’t ideal. You can’t do anything about this. You have to stay at work. Just try and worry about your job, and leave the rest to me. Easier said than done, I know, but I promise you, I’ll take care of this.”

With a sigh, Jack rubbed his temple trying to find anything inside of him that resembled calm. “Okay, dear. I’ll see you this evening. I love you.” He said the last part loud enough to satisfy the ears of any nosey neighbors, and hung up the phone, hoping Eddie could make good on his word.

The first thing Eddie did after hanging up the phone was walk across the street and knock on Emily’s door. It took her a little while, but she eventually answered with sleep in her eyes, and rollers in her hair. “There better be a good reason you’re beating down my door this damn early, Eddie Martin.”

Back home, Eddie gave Emily the entire rundown of his and Jack’s scheme, including their imminent dinner plans. She paced around the floor, freshly dressed in a casual long sleeved black turtleneck sweater, a pair of loose gray slacks, and a pair of black flats. “You two have really stepped in it now, haven’t you? How far ahead exactly did you think through this plan?”

“Clearly not very far. Talking about that isn’t helping though. Can you please help?”

“And how should I do that?”

“Pretend to be Jack’s wife tonight.”

“No can do, buckaroo.”

“Why not?”

“I told you a hundred times already. I’m leaving for Atlanta tonight. I’ve got to be on that bus at five thirty this afternoon, or I’m shit out of luck…I’ve got that audition…to be a back-up singer…for Dickie Lee…”

Eddie’s face froze blank, only showing a shimmer of recognition after she name-dropped the famous singer. “Oh right.”

“Wow, you really are full of shit, Eddie Martin.” Emily chuckled. “You don’t have the foggiest what I’m talking about, do you?”

“I remember you saying something about an audition. I guess I just didn’t realize it was such a big deal.”

“Well it is. This is my chance to break into the big time. Who knows. Maybe one day, it’ll be me hiring the backup singers.”

“No I…I understand.” Eddie knew he couldn’t very well ask his best friend to give up a shot at her dream because of his mistake. He frantically searched his thoughts for another possible solution. “Don’t you have any friends that might be available? I’m sure Jack would be willing to pay them for their time.”

“How many friends do you think I have beyond you? Anyway, I wouldn’t trust a single girl I’m acquainted with not to make a complete fiasco out of the total mess you’ve already created for yourself. You know, it’s a shame you ca…”

“Finish your sentence. You’re making me nervous.” Eddie pulled his face from his hands to find Emily thoroughly appraising his form. When she suddenly pinched his chin between her fingers he flinched. Undaunted, she twisted his head to what Eddie was sure was every possible angle, and she examined every square inch of his face. Slowly a wicked smile spread across her lips.

*

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this. I’ll get arrested.” Eddie was sitting in the passenger seat of Emily’s grandmother’s old Chevy. Emily had taken to treating it as her own since her grandma hadn’t been able to even walk for years, let alone drive anywhere. They were parked in the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly just a mile down the road. “What if somebody who knows me sees me?”

“You mean me?” Emily was a hair’s breadth away from pushing Eddie out of the car. “Seriously Edie, for your reputation to be ruined, you’d have to actually have one in the first place. No one is going to pay you any mind. If they do, I'll guarantee it’s not because you’re scaring them.

“Are you sure you?” Eddie kept checking his face in the vanity mirror. “I’m trying to find some kind of substantial difference in the before and after, but I look like the same person. How can you not see it?”

Eddie thought back to just an hour before. Emily’s idea seemed crazy, but he was desperate, and any hesitation he showed Emily was quick to steamroll over. She barely gave him time to think before sending Eddie off to the shower with a container of depilatory cream. He followed her instructions to the letter, suffering quietly through the tingling while he waited for his kitchen timer to tell him he could rinse. Not that he had much body hair anyway, but the thin patchwork film that covered his calves rinsed down the drain taking the last sign of masculinity his slight, fair skinned body demonstrated aside from the obvious.

Afterwards, he wrapped himself up in a bathrobe, and sat helplessly awaiting the next phase of Emily’s machinations. Before long she was bursting through the door, arms fully loaded with makeup cases, mirrors, hair dryers, clothes, and a dozen other things Eddie couldn’t identify. She deposited the pile onto Jack’s bed, and then led Eddie by the arm into the kitchen. The way she shampooed his hair in the sink gave him a new respect for the fancy little dogs he saw in the groomers window. Another thorough scrubbing later, and Emily had him seated in a chair by the kitchen table, with his hair wrapped up in a towel.

When he was a child Eddie’s Aunt religiously took him to the barber shop every other Thursday. As he got older, he was expected to keep up the practice himself, so every other Thursday, he’d stop by old George’s. While the old men gossiped just as bad as the old women he knew, they’d turn around and gossip about which of the women in their lives were gossips. The only difference he could find was an increase in the number of times breasts were mentioned.

Eddie's heart felt heavy as he slumped in the chair, the old man's droning voice grating on his already raw nerves. Each mention of the "new librarian's cans" scraped away another sliver of his patience. A familiar ache bloomed in his chest, a dull throb of obligation and unspoken expectations. He'd gone through the motions for months, a hollow echo of Aunt Frances's vibrant presence. But one day, something shifted. He rose, not with defiance, but with a quiet resolve, and left never to return. That place had never felt like him. He'd been a visitor, a dutiful nephew, but never truly an inhabitant. As he stepped outside, the weight seemed to lift. The sun felt a little warmer, the air a little lighter.

Duties for his haircare had fallen to Emily. She had plenty of experience trimming hair for some of her friends, but none with men’s hairstyles. The habit became to let the hair grow until it started getting in Eddie’s way, then lopping it off into a more manageable fashion and starting the process all over again. Lately, they had let the task lapse. Eddie didn’t really mind. He actually kind of liked the way it looked as it grew, even though it was a strange look for a man of the time. Whenever he went shopping, he greased it back, and if he received any strange looks, he never noticed.

Without realizing it, his hair had grown quite a bit over the summer. It now fell just below his ears on the sides, and down the back of his neck. Emily knew it was plenty for her to work with. She trimmed around the back, evening out the line for just a moment, before spending about five minutes snipping away around his face. Satisfied with her work, she ran a comb and a white cream through Eddie’s hair, and wound up a few dozen various sized wire rollers, leaving not a single loose strand. Eddie almost sat up, but Emily didn’t give him a chance. Her expert hands deftly worked a pair of tweezers around his brow. Her wake of destruction only left two of the faintest highly arched whisps behind.

Back in Jack’s bedroom, Emily had laid out an outfit for Eddie. High waisted control panties nipped his waist in even smaller than it normally was. Emily had her back turned to give Eddie a moment of privacy, but after listening to him struggle with the bra for a solid minute, she decided it would be less embarrassing for her to give him a quick lesson, or he might still be there trying to fasten the heavily padded contraption when the Tate’s arrived.

Eddie slipped his into a white sleeveless button down blouse with a wide collar, and then stepped into a pair of black capri pants. He never had any delusions that his feet were large, but he was struck by how ladylike they appeared sticking out from the legs of the femininely cut pants.

Not giving him a chance to even think, Emily dropped a pair of black flats by Eddie’s feet and had him step into them. She tied a pink chiffon scarf over his hair set, and did a quick once over with a mascara wand and a tube of soft pink lipstick. From there, he was pulled to the car so quickly that he didn’t have time to protest before he found himself standing in the street, open and exposed for all to see. He didn’t even know where they were going until they pulled into the Piggly Wiggly parking lot.

“I was expecting you’d do me up like when you go to work, or something. I didn’t expect to be strolling around the market like I’m in a rush to get back home to my soap operas.”

“Hush now, Edie. We have things to do. You had to go to the grocery store. I need makeup that matches your skin tone. We have limited time. Let’s go.”

“But I don’t know how to act like a woman. Everyone in there is going to see me for what I really am. I mean, I still look like me. I don’t think a little lipstick is going to cut it.”

“Look, I want to help you, but your constant complaining is making this much harder than it needs to be. Just hush. Now let’s get to it. The faster we get in, the faster we get out.”

Eddie took a deep breath, and reluctantly opened the car door, swung his legs out of the side, and pulled himself up, trying to exhale all of the anxiety that he was feeling as he did so. It didn’t quite work.

Emily collected her purse from the back seat, as well as another. She slipped the black handbag over the crook of Eddie’s arm, and said, “Carry it like this Edie. I slipped your wallet into it. Just get your shopping done, while I get your makeup. We can meet by the cash register. Just hold your head up high, and act like you’re supposed to be here. You’ll do fine.

“But shouldn’t I be holding my arms a certain way, or walking or something. I have no idea how to act like a woman, Emily. Won’t my voice give me away?”

Emily had been watching Eddie the entire time, talking as much with his fanned out hands as his lips. His elbows kept close to his side while his hands at one point or another occupied every inch of space on the right side of the vehicle. She noticed the way he effortlessly glided to the car, far from the gorillas in dresses she’d seen at her church's last womanless wedding. This dainty little thing didn’t need any lesson on womanhood. “Don’t change a thing, Edie.”

“It feels weird being called that.”

“I fear the people inside might find it strange if I use the alternative.”

“That’s true, I guess.”

“One last thing. I left that extra wedding band in your purse. Slip that on your ring finger.”

“I almost completely forgot about that. They came as a set when we purchased the decoy for Jack to use at work. They’re not even real gold. They were actually incredibly cheap. I’m surprised Jack hasn’t developed a rash of some kind.” Eddie found the ring in his purse, and slipped it onto his finger. Surprisingly, it fit fairly well, only being a hair loose.

“It will have to do. Are you ready, Edie?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Walking with purpose, Emily strode into the store with Eddie lagging just a few steps behind. He stood tall, mimicking her unwavering posture, but his eyes betrayed him. They flickered like a cornered animal, trapped between fear and determination. The panic gnawed at the edges of his smile, a tremor just waiting to erupt. While Emily disappeared to the beauty section, Eddie was left to his errand.

He stood still for a moment, waiting for an alarm to sound, but only a few of the older shoppers milling around the store spared a glance at his face. Hurriedly, he snatched a cart, and started weaving his way through the aisles. As quickly as any reasonable person would still consider a normal pace, he checked off item after item from his list. Mushrooms, effortless. Mustard, easy. Olive oil was almost an issue, being just out of reach on the top shelf, but a nice stockboy collected it with a smile, and Eddie never had to open his mouth. The true test of his mettle would be the butcher.

At the counter, Eddie took a ticket, and waited by his cart. He wanted his number to come up as quickly as possible, but was also dreading what he’d have to do when it did. It only took a few minutes before the number fourteen rang out over the loudspeaker. He tried to decide the best way to affect his speech when he placed his order. It didn’t really matter much though. As soon as he went to open his mouth he panicked, and spoke as he always had.

“A quarter pound of prosciutto, and two pounds of beef tenderloin please.” Eddie visibly winced as he heard the words coming out of his mouth. All this effort for his disguise, and he just undid it in a mere matter of moments. “An inch thick, if you would.”

“Will that be all, ma’am?” the butcher asked.

“Umm, yes that’s all.” In fact, the earth did not open up and swallow Eddie whole. It continued on as it always had.

The tradesman weighed the order out, and wrapped it up in butcher paper, tied up neat and tidy with a little twine bow. “With all this good food let me say, your husband better know how lucky he is. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Eddie was dumbfounded. He stared blankly into the distance, as he pushed the cart to the checkout line, his thoughts only interrupted, when he felt a slender fingernail poke him in the ribs. “Ahh!” he squealed, drawing the eyes of the rest of the customers, as his best friend giggled mischievously behind him.

“Did you get everything you needed, Edie?”

“I did.” He answered, trying not to give her the satisfaction of any more protest. “You?”

“It’s all right here.” she answered proudly, placing her purchases on the conveyor belt with his.

“You ladies doing okay today?” the cashier asked, when it was their turn.

“We are.” Eddie said with a smile, after Emily stealthily elbowed him in the side. “And you?”

“I can’t complain. Is your husband’s boss coming over for dinner?”

“How’d you know?” Emily asked, now completely enthralled by the middle-aged woman in the pink uniform. “Are you a psychic?”

“Nothing so fancy. I’ve just been doing this forever. I must have seen a thousand girls with their hair up in curlers, buying way too much food with that same forlorn expression. They dropped it on you at the last minute, didn’t they?”

“It’s that obvious?” Eddie replied.

“Don’t get me wrong honey, you look great. Lots of girls your age come in here with their hair still up. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. A pretty little thing like yourself could waltz in here covered in pig manure and you’d still be the most darling thing.” Eddie's cheeks burned like a sunset. “Oh, look at her blushing. She’s modest too.”

“I keep telling her she’s a catch, but she never listens.” Emily agreed. “What can you do?”

After paying for their purchases, a young man carried their bags to the car, and even loaded them one by one into the trunk. Eddie compared that to having to drag five paper bags home on a city bus with a transfer in the middle. Back in the passenger seat, Eddie nervously fidgeted with his purse strap while Emily tipped the fresh faced bagger.

"Are you convinced now?" She asked after sliding in behind the wheel and starting the engine.

Doe eyed, Eddie clearly didn't understand the question. "Convinced of what?"

"I dolled you up like an old lady swinging by for a pack of Pall Malls but all anyone could talk about was how pretty you were. Just imagine how good you're gonna look when I actually try."

"I don't think that's as comforting as you think it is."

*

Back home, Eddie quickly set to task in the kitchen, finely dicing the mushrooms, and cooking them down in a skillet, while Emily fiddled with the new record player Jack had recently brought home as a present. Soon enough, the music of Roy Orbison was ringing throughout the old wooden house. Satisfied with their progress, Eddie wrapped up the mushrooms, and left them in the fridge, then pulled four sheets of puff pastry from the ice box.

Having progressed as far as he could, he turned himself back over to Emily so she could continue her work. “I’m sorry I lost touch for a moment earlier. I was just so scared. I didn’t think a little lipstick was going to be enough to disguise me.”

Emily cleansed the residual makeup from Eddie’s face, and then caked on a thick mud mask before leaving it to sit for a minute. “No need to apologize, Edie. I don’t mean to insult you, but we probably didn’t even need that. Makeup isn’t meant to disguise. It’s meant to accentuate your true beauty, and you my dear, are beautiful.”

A prideful smile briefly crept onto Eddie’s lips. “You don’t have to call me that here, you know.”

“Eh.” Emily shrugged. “I think it fits pretty well right now. Anyway, you need to get used to hearing it. So Edie, tell me why you love your husband.

“What?”

“It’s going to come up in some fashion. Jack’s supposed to be your husband, right? Tell me about what you love about your husband. It’s an acting trick. What’s your motivation? If you keep the right motivation in mind, you’ll always know how to answer. Jack’s your husband. You love him. What do you love about him?”

“Right? Right.” Eddie tried to make a checklist in his mind as he started to answer. “Well, he’s handsome. He handles all of our financial needs. He buys me all the best cookware…”

“Stop.” Emily interrupted. “That’s enough of that. Stop trying to think about the right answer, and just answer honestly. When you do, just keep in mind that Jack is your husband, and you love him. Now try again.”

“Okay.” A deep breath in and a deep breath out. “Jack is one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. I was fond of him before, but after everything fell apart at home, he was there for me in a way no man had ever been before, and he didn’t expect anything in return. He was the first man who showed me how a gentleman was supposed to act.”

“Well damn, Edie! I don’t think that’s anything we need to worry about anymore. Just try to keep in mind that he’s yours. If you feel like you should be touching him, just touch him. Don’t ask for permission. Holding hands for the evening isn’t going to threaten either of y’alls masculinity.”

“If only you knew.” Eddie thought. He’d never found the courage to tell her about his and Jack’s sleeping arrangement.

“Alright then. Let’s put some lipstick on this pig and see what we’re working with.”

Emily washed off the mask leaving Eddie’s skin as soft and supple as it had ever been. After toweling it dry, she set to work with all the dedication and craft that he had expected earlier. “You’re going to have to pay attention, Edie. You’re crafty enough to do the work, but you need to know the steps.”

“Why do I need to know the steps?”

“You could get some grease on your face while making dinner. You might smudge something by getting dressed. You might just want to do it again tomorrow. Whatever the case, I won’t be here to help. You’ll be on your own.”

“Why would I want to do it again?” Eddie pondered.

“You need to plan for all contingencies, now stop arguing.”

Emily set to work, first covering Eddie’s face in a variety of creams and powders until his complexion was all one smooth even tone. She powdered it again until it was matte enough that hardly any light reflected off his cheeks. A few expert strokes of liquid eyeliner, a practiced application with a brown eyebrow pencil and thick application of blue eyeshadow, made his eyes pop. A light dusting of pink blush and a soft pink lipstick finished the look, clearly inspired by a young Audrey Hepburn. “Did you get all that?”

Eddie nodded his affirmation. “Good. This is a daytime look that works for your face. If you’re going on a picnic, or to the store, or anything else that doesn’t involve an invitation or a date, then this is how you should do it.

“Are you telling me that we’re going to have to do it all again?”

“Oh hush, Edie. Don’t be a brat. Turning this into an evening look only takes a few tweaks.” Emily started by brushing over his blush with a deeper red, a little higher on his cheek bones. She then applied two more coats of mascara, but surprised Eddie by wiping off his lipstick completely. She took a red pencil and outlined his lips in a cupid's bow shape, and then filled them in with a fire engine red lipstick. "Voila!" she proclaimed proudly as she returned the cap to the lipstick. “Just make sure you powder your nose and touch up your lips after you eat or drink anything.”

Eddie was astonished. In the mirror, he expected to find at best, a homely young wife that Jack wouldn't believably settle for, and at worst a clown, deserving of any mock and derision pointed in its general direction.

Instead he saw a young woman, a picture of the middle American housewife. She was pretty, yes, but Eddie thought she gave off the impression that she'd be just as breathtaking with her hair tied under a rag while she scrubbed the kitchen floor. He muttered, "I don't fucking believe it."

"Edie, I'm astonished." Emily teased playfully upon hearing the uncharacteristically vulgar utterance escape her student's lips.

"You're one to talk." he retorted, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Just be careful later. That's not the kind of thing Mrs. Lamb would say in front of her husband's boss." Emily started digging through the pile of clothes strewn about the bed. "Here it is!" she shouted, fishing out a small pink waist-cincher. "You're very small for a man, but if you're going to borrow one of my nicer dresses, we're gonna have to lose that extra inch. Unlike my pants, the material doesn't really have any give. Get those hands up in the air, and suck in as tight as you can."

Eddie dutifully followed her command and regretted it immediately. One inch didn't sound like much but it was a different story when comparing his supple flesh with a length of fabric.vEmily tugged, devoid of any mercy, and once satisfied she tied off her efforts, and Eddie just hoped his ears weren't turning red.

A pair of tan hose were slid up Eddie's hairless legs, and attached to the dangling garter straps of the waist-cincher. They matched the soft white and pink print of his silky panties, and left all of his virginal innocence on full display. Eddie marveled at how his smooth calves seemed to shimmered in the afternoon sun creeping through the window.

Once again, protecting the sliver of modesty he’d maintained, Eddie was back in the beautician’s chair, while Emily expertly unrolled his locks, and teased the curls out all over until he went from looking like a beauty getting ready for dinner, to a beauty being executed by electric chair. With a firm bristle brush, she smoothed and sculpted her creation, until it was shaped to her satisfaction, and then emptied a can of hairspray, locking everything firmly into place.

Emily helped Eddie step into a frothy, pink, knee-length petticoat and firmly tied its ribbon fastening at the center of his tightly nipped waist. Satisfied with her efforts, she hurriedly helped him into his familiar pinafore, and said, "God, I could kill you, I'm so jealous. You're still gorgeous in that beat up old thing. I'm betting you need to check on the kitchen. Hurry on now. I'll clean up here."

While Eddie ran off to preheat the oven, after a little digging Emily found an old Marine Corp duffle bag in the back of Jack's closet. In her search, she was surprised to also find a smattering of Eddie's clothes intermingled with Jack's in his dirty clothes hamper. Deciding to save her questions for later, she stuffed all of Eddie's things in the sack, and then went into his room, where she proceeded to empty his dresser.

Meanwhile Eddie was zipping around the house like a flash. Somehow all at the same time, he was frantically lighting the gas burners, hunting for a clean tablecloth that didn’t smell like mothballs, filling the crystal salt and pepper shakers, finding three candles of the same color from the junk drawer, and polishing any rogue water spots out of the dishware. He wasn’t actually satisfied with any of it, but couldn’t think of a single task left to complete before time to serve the meal. The work had been the only thing keeping him from thinking about how insane this plan actually was. The clock read four forty-five, leaving just over an hour until he could begin to expect Jack’s arrival with the Tates in tow.

Back in the bedroom, Eddie found Emily closing the top drawer of Jack's dresser. “What are you doing in there?” he asked.

“What do you think of this dress?. She gestured down to her outfit, consisting of a halter neck, black wiggle dress, and a bright red pair of mules. She had ten matching glossy red toes peeking out from under the thick strap, as well as ten glossy red fingers each digit also the same shade of her glossy red lipstick. Her hair was piled on top of her crown and covered by a fall of synthetic hair that swept down her back and curled slightly at the ends. "What do you think?"

"As far as looks go, you're a shoe in. Now you've just got to wow them with your voice. What all have you done in here?" A casual glance told Eddie that things weren’t too different, but he could definitely see more of a feminine influence in the bedroom. A small jewelry box sat open on the top of the dresser, displaying a few of his Aunt’s simpler pieces; the more timeless pieces that might still be worn by a young woman of the age. Jack’s handful of suits that sparsely populated his closet had been pushed to one side, and the remaining volume had been stuffed to the gills with dozens of dresses, skirts, and blouses for any occasion a young newlywed might find herself in. Those hung above a dozen pairs of shoes, neatly lined up beside each other. A peak in the dresser revealed that one of the empty drawers was now filled with panties, brassieres, corselettes, cinches, camisoles, and almost any other flimsy undergarments one could think of.

"With a grand wave of the arm, she gestured to the rest of the bedroom. “Just putting the finishing touches on our little ruse. Nice touches, right?"

“Thanks, I guess,” Eddie said. “I’m not sure this is really necessary though.”

“Of course it is. You know how my grandma is. Old lady Tate might be just as nosey. Take a look at this.” Emily swung open the bathroom door, revealing the mess of makeup and curlers they’d used during Eddie’s makeover. “This way, she won’t think you're too perfect. God knows, with the notice they gave you, they should be grateful you’re not serving them dinner on paper plates. Also…” She swung open the door under the sink revealing an open package of sanitary pads, with a few missing. “Nice touch, right?”

“That’s vulgar!” Eddie chastised, turning beet red, and slamming the door back shut.

“Oh right. I almost forgot you were a man for a second. No wonder you’re so squeamish.”

“You think it’s squeamish to not want to discuss something dirty.”

“Oh hush, you’re better than that. If half of the population does it every month, then it must not be that bad.”

“The whole population poops, and that’s pretty disgusting.”

“True, but you wipe your butt and get over it…So get over it.” Satisfied, Emily collected the few things she was leaving with. “I’ll be back to get my clothes and whatnot when I return. I’ve got all your clothes from your bedroom, and I’ll leave them over at my house. The door will be unlocked so just sneak in and grab them.”

“Dressed like this?” Eddie asked incredulously.

“You know my grandma won’t catch you. My dad is never home till after midnight anyway. If the Tates ask about the empty room, just tell them it was yours before you two got married. It’s so wholesome, they’ll eat it up. I left all the makeup you’ll need in that case on the bathroom counter. Use it to touch up just before they arrive like I showed you. Wear the heels I left out for you. They're the same pair I made you clean my room in after that bet sophomore year. We know you can effortlessly glide around in those. Why fix what isn't broken, you know?”

“Don’t remind me. Why did I think I could beat you in arm wrestling?”

“Because I let you think you could. Was there anything else?” Emily tapped her chin searching for any other holes in their illusion, when the metaphorical lightbulb went off. “Oh right! Don’t you dare wear that nasty old thing when the Tates arrive.”

“My pinafore?”

“You’re damn right. That thing is a cry for help if I’ve ever seen one. It should be burned. Just wear the little waist apron your Aunt had for serving tea. It will match the dress I put out. There’s some earrings and a necklace sitting on top of the dresser as well. I’d suggest not clipping those things to your lobes until the last possible moment. They’re gorgeous, but they pinch like the dickens. Also, make sure you leave time to get these press on nails glued into place. Ten minutes should do the trick. I’ve already painted them to match your lips, and I laid them out in order, so a child should be able to handle the rest. I guess with that, I’m off. Just remember, Edie, you’re gorgeous. Show them your winning personality, and you’re a lock. Be yourself, and everything will work out, I’m sure of it. Anywho, wish me luck!”

“Good luck!” Eddie said, forcing a smile to his lips, as he waved his best friend goodbye, though inside his heart beat faster by the minute as zero hour approached.

*

From the click of the receiver, Jack's composure became a tightrope walk. His mind pirouetted between crafting the perfect, status-saving excuse to cancel dinner and fantasizing about scooping up Eddie and heading for the hills, never to be seen again. Yet, reality held him hostage. There was nothing to do but trust Eddie's judgment. Whatever awaited him at the door, he'd face it head-on.

Not too long after the rest of the staff had left for the day, Mrs. Tate walked into the office, her driver a few steps behind, his arms loaded with an assortment of shopping bags and hat boxes from nearly every boutique on the downtown strip. She was always pleasant with Jack but on this particular occasion, she seemed to have an extra little sparkle in her eye when she warmly greeted him. Mr Tate quickly joined them, and the three made small talk while the driver struggled to load the plethora of packages into the back of Mr Tate's Chrysler.

The boss's tail lights in Jack's rearview mirror may as well have been the grim reaper, signifying the countdown to an inevitable demise. At the little home, the Tates followed Jack behind the house to the kitchen door. "Apologies for the gravel walkway." Jack explained. "I don't keep a key to the front door. I'm always losing things. If not for Edie, I'd probably show up to work without my pants on."

He fumbled with his keys, half stalling, half nervous, and entirely hoping the very earth itself would open beneath his feet and swallow him whole. He summoned all his courage and turned the lock, carefully peeking his head through the crack.

"Honey, I'm home!" Jack shouted, his words echoing around the old hard wood of the floors and ceilings. He was struck by the way it effortlessly escaped his lips. He’d never uttered the phrase before, let alone had reason, but it seemed to flow out as though it had been a daily occurrence for quite some time.

"That smells delicious!" Mr Tate shouted from behind him as he unceremoniously pushed the door the rest of the way open. "Lord knows, I'm famished."

Nervously, Jack led his guest into the living room, and took their coats. While he was hanging the garments, the Tates took their seats, only to have Colonel Tate dart right back up. It startled Jack, who took a moment to realize he was standing for the lady who’d entered the room. All day, Jack was in a state of panic, unsure of what to expect when he arrived home. It certainly wasn’t a believable new wife, the quintessential girl next door, as wholesome as she was beautiful.

“I barely heard you come in, dear. I was just touching up my lipstick.” Smiling a sweet smile, she playfully chastised, “You didn’t drag our guest through my messy kitchen, did you? I left the front door unlocked.” In her little heels, she gracefully glided over her husband, and kissed the air beside his cheek, then turned her attention to the company. Extending her hand, she said, “I’m Edith Lamb. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Edie.”

In actuality, Eddie had long put the finishing touches on his makeup. He’d checked and rechecked each and every detail. He’d gotten dressed, and inspected every inch of his body in Jack’s large boudoir mirror. He was ready. The food was ready. The table was set. There was nothing left to be accomplished. What he was actually doing was mustering every ounce of willpower he had dwelling deep inside, lest he jump from the window, and run off screaming into the setting sun. One deep breath. Two deep breaths. It was time to do or die. Eddie wrapped the ties of his Aunt’s old waist apron around his severely nipped waist, and fastened them behind in a large fluffy chiffon bow. He thought of her, and a smile spread on his plump red lips. If she was anything at all, Aunt Frances was the perfect hostess. He realized in that moment, that she'd already taught him almost everything he needed to know to get through the evening, and anything she hadn’t, he could borrow from Mary Tyler Moore. With just the slightest bit more confidence needed he kept that smile, and marched out into the living room to, just this one night, continue the family tradition.

“Well, hello there, Edie. The pleasure is all mine.” The colonel was a large man, exactly as Jack had described. Big in both stature, as well as presence. As pleasant as his tone was, his booming voice still reverberated through the tiny structure. He smiled as much with his eyes, as with his lips, which was fortunate, given his bushy mustache grew down well past his lips. Eddie marveled at the hands, four times the size of his, could be so gentle as they exchanged greetings. “And I’d like you to meet my wife, Veronica.”

With how Jack had described the colonel, Eddie expected his wife to be one of those rich old ladies, half in the tea house, and half in the grave, like his Aunt’s friends. He and Emily had joked about keeping a pitcher of water on the table to prepare for a night of shouting their half of the conversation. Instead, he saw a woman, barely if at all past forty, just as gorgeous as when she was twenty, dressed impeccably in a two piece suit made up of a red wiggle dress, and a matching bolero Jacket with black piping around the seams, her gloves, and jaunty black pillbox hat the same dark color, contrasting the brightness of her blonde coiffure. Eddie extended his hand, only to have her throw her arms around him and pull him into a tight hug.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, Edie. You have a lovely home.” Veronica’s voice was breathy, similar to Marylin Monroe, but a touch higher. While they embraced, Eddie noticed her fragrance, and decided to put his knowledge to use.

He said, “I love your perfume. You’ll have to tell me where you get it.”

“Oh, it’s from Paris.” she replied, beaming at the compliment.

“That’s too bad.” Eddie replied, trying to appear disappointed.

“Nonsense, I’ll have a bottle sent over sometime.” Eddie repeatedly tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary but Veronica was insistent.

“It’s not trouble, dear, I assure you.” Colonel Tate said. “She has a bloody stockpile, and she’s just going to buy five more bottles the next time we go.

“Well, far be it for me to destroy the spirit of the giver.” Eddie said, graciously thanking the married couple. “Can I offer you something to drink?”

“Oh right!” Veronica nearly shouted, realizing her error. “We bought a bottle of wine.” It’s in my coat pocket, there.” she said pointing to Jack, who at this point had been standing frozen in place throughout the entire introduction.

Jack couldn’t believe it. As though by magic, here she was, his new wife. She was heavenly. She wore a sleeveless, white silk dress covered in a layer of chiffon with a large blue flower print. The dress had a wide scoop neckline accented by a bunched up layer of chiffon, and the nipped in waist billowed out into a full, knee-length skirt spilling over the frothy white tulle petticoat that cutely peeked out just beneath the hem.

She wore a chunky blue beaded necklace, matching button earrings accented by the faintest sparkle of a few tiny rhinestones dotted throughout them, and her three inch blue pumps completed her outfit perfectly. She wore these accessories as though she’d worn them all her life. Her makeup was immaculate. Her red lips were perfectly kissable. Her shiny chestnut brunette hair was perfectly styled into a short bouffant that was parted deep on the side, pulled back over one ear, and curling under just beneath her chin. She even had a cute little blue bow pinned high up behind her ear. Every little detail was perfect. She was absolutely perfect. She was Eddie. Jack knew this, but that did nothing to stop him from admiring the view.

“Honey, did you hear Mrs. Tate?” Eddie said through his teeth, waving his hand in Jack’s face. “She has a bottle of wine in the coat pocket. Would you hand it to me, please?”

“Oh, right…” Jack replied, snapping from his daze. “Sorry, it’s been a long day. I think I was taking a second to count my lucky stars because you’re so beautiful.” he joked, trying to break the tension.

“You should take a lesson, Hughey.” Veronica laughed, jabbing her husband in the arm. “Also Edie, I insist you call me Veronica.”

“I will.” Eddie said, returning her smile. “And should I call you colonel, sir? I know Jack does.”

“Everyone does, young lady. Well, everyone except Ronnie here. Old habits die hard as they say.”

“Do you like Merlot, Edie?” Veronica asked?

Eddie noted Veronica’s pet name for the Colonel, and thought it might be good to emulate. “Honestly, I’m not really much of a drinker. I tried one of Jackie’s beers once, and I think that was enough for a lifetime.”

“Oh you poor thing. I promise, wine is nothing like that. Quickly, point me in the direction of a corkscrew and some glasses, and let me rectify this grievous error. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Well, I’ve got to pull dinner from the oven, so why don’t you join me in the kitchen, and we can leave the men to chat.” Eddie found it strange that the phrase, “the men” since it didn’t include him, but after a moment of thought, realized that probably no one had ever said the phrase intending to include him before. As they walked into the kitchen Eddie turned his head to meet eyes with Jack, but instead saw Jack’s eyes tracking his rear, as his hips swayed back and forth while he sauntered away. The crimson in Jack’s cheeks once he’d been caught said everything.

*

"That was the best damn beef wellington I’ve ever had!" The colonel was shouting, and resting his palms on his round belly. “Jack, I came here to discuss what Tate Chem could add to your lifestyle, but I can see you’re already doing pretty well for yourself if you eat like that every night.”

“They’re rarely that good, Colonel.” Eddie said, blushing at the praise. “Tonight was a special occasion.”

“She’s being modest, sir.” Jack said. Throughout the meal, as their ruse went undiscovered, Jack and Eddie had managed to finally relax. The bottle of wine probably helped too. He threw his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulled him close so tightly that Eddie’s chair slid across the floor with him. “I eat like a king.”

“I can tell. Who needs a five star chef when you’ve got a meal of this caliber on the table waiting for you every night? Lord knows you men deserve it after the way Eisenhower fumbled the ball, pulling out of the war so soon. When we fought the Axis, we saw it through. He stole your glory.”

As the colonel continued his boisterous ranting, Eddie noticed a far-off stare creeping onto Jack’s face. Jack hadn’t fallen into that hole quite as often since he’d moved in though. His heart swelled, as his savior, the man who had been strong enough to support the both of them had a moment of weakness.

As Jack’s focus narrowed, his mind flashed back to the horrors of his time overseas. Before he spun out though, he felt the light scratching of Eddie’s false nails on his balled fist. He opened his grip, and Eddie slipped his lithe fingers through Jack’s, and the two shared a knowing look and a faint smile. Eddie said proudly, “Well Colonel, it’s a good thing my Jackie isn’t the type to seek out glory.

“No he isn’t.” the colonel agreed. “I am positive after seeing his sales record, he is the most humble man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.”

“I wish I could take the credit, sir,” Jack said, his gaze still fixed on Eddie’s exquisitely made up face. “But my wife is the secret to my success. She’s the reason I show up to work with my pants on. She’s the reason I’m clean, well nourished, and able to perform at my best. She’s the reason I’ve gotten the best sleep of my life since we’ve been married, and she’s the reason I get out of bed every morning.” Eddie was stunned by that last part. “Honestly, I’m just grateful she sees fit to stay with me, because she could very well go off and succeed at any task she puts her mind to. I’m a very lucky man to be the task she’s chosen.”

“You know what they say, dear.” Veronica said, chiming in. “Behind every great man, there’s a great woman. I’d like to hear more about you, Edie. What’s your story?”

"Well…" It wasn't a question Eddie expected. He assumed that to tell the truth would be a one way ticket for Jack to the unemployment office. On the other hand, he wasn't much of a liar. Aunt Frances was a woman built out of patience, but she had almost none for dishonesty. The only severe punishments she ever dealt were when Eddie tried to pull one over on her. If he said he brushed his teeth, then by god he better have brushed his teeth. By the time he was ten, dishonesty wasn't an option he'd normally consider.

Veronica could see his inner turmoil. "If you don't wish to talk about it, I completely understand. Please forgive my rudeness for inquiring."

"No, it's quite alright." Eddie replied, finding comfort in the realization that he wasn't under interrogation. He decidedly to just tell the truth, but left out the specifics. "I was raised by my Aunt since I was a…little girl. She taught me everything I know about life. Unfortunately, she passed not long after my eighteenth birthday."

"Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Anyway, I wasn't related by blood to my uncle who had long lost hold of his mental faculties, and his sister decided there wasn't any room left in the house for me. Fortunately, I had met Jackie here through my best friend Emily, our neighbor across the street. Jack hired me as a housekeeper, so I'd be here at least once a week, and we'd chat about all kinds of things. He’s the most interesting person I've ever met. Every time I left, I knew at least one new fact to wow my Aunt with. Well, when she passed, and I had nowhere to go I was distraught. Emily didn't really have any room for me, but fortunately for me Jackie stepped in, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Prince Charming." Veronica smiled with a knowing nod. "So, you were in his employ then. Forgive me, but I thought you two were going steady before."

"Right l…well…"

Eddie forgot that detail of their story. Inside he was kicking himself. At that moment, he was sure the jig was up, only to have Jack swoop in to save the day.

Jack continued resting his arm around Eddie's shoulders. "Well, it might have been a job for her at the start, but I was in love. I was looking for any excuse to get her over here."

"He was certainly slick." Eddie laughed. "Still, he was always a gentleman. We'd only been on a few dates when everything happened. I thought it would be imprudent for us to cohabitate when our love was so new, and marriage was not even on my mind yet so Jackie emptied out his spare room for me. He respected my purity and continued to court me respectfully…Jack made me feel safe. How could I not fall in love with this oaf?. He really is a catch." The story flowed from Eddie's lips as though it was always the truth. Everything seemed to be going well. He only hoped that he wasn't making Jack out to be too saintly, but it was how he honestly felt.

"You both are just precious." Veronica said, beaming at the cuteness of her young host. "Hughey is like that too, you know. He acts all gruff, but he's a real softy."

"You don't say." Eddie had a hard time picturing the old tycoon as anything softer than sandpaper.

"Absolutely. I was working the USO tour in Europe at the end of the war when we met?"

"You were a singer?" Jack asked.

"She was a dancer actually." The colonel interjected. " The best I've ever seen. She moved with such grace and poise. Even in a comedic vaudeville number, she was the angel sent to soothe my weary heart.

"I had no idea you were a dancer." Jack said.

"Well, she certainly still has the body for it." Eddie added.

"Thank you, gorgeous." Veronica winked at Eddie. "I try to stay in shape. I'd kill to look like you again though. I bet you don't even have to diet."

"Oh…well…" Eddie was crimson. He wasn't sure why he was enjoying the praise being heaped on him, but it felt good. Still, pride wasn't something he was comfortable with so his pigment was inclined to show it.

“Hughey sent his aid with an envelope containing a little note every hour on the hour. Let me tell you, they contained some of the sweetest words I’d ever read. You’d never believe they were written by this hard ass.”

Unfortunately for Eddie, the moment he heard the course language of a sailor slip from the lips of the impeccably dressed, affluent woman, the red wine he’d just sipped switched direction and spewed out across the table, and onto Veronica’s dress.

“Oh my lord!” Eddie exclaimed. He and Jack exchanged horrified expressions, fully expecting Veronica to rise from the table, and storm out of the house appalled. Instead, she first cracked a smile, and shortly descended into full on laughter. Her husband did the same, but that didn’t stop Jack from worrying he might dirty his shorts as he was being thoroughly fired.

“It’s not a problem, Edie.” Veronica chuckled, as she rose from the table, and dabbed at the stain with a cloth napkin she’d dipped in her water. “Why don’t you give me the dime tour, and we can leave the men to discuss whatever boring thing they’re trying to sell this week? We can stop by the bathroom, and I’ll rinse this out.” Both men quickly rose from the table as Eddie and Veronica hurried off to the bathroom.

“I’m just mortified.” Eddie said, fumbling underneath the master bathroom sink, hunting for a hand towel to offer Veronica. “I swear the wine wasn’t that bad. I really did like it.”

“You’re so funny, Edie.” Much to Eddie’s relief Veronica obviously found the whole situation hilarious. She was perched on the edge of the closed toilet seat, still sipping on her merlot. She accepted the soaked hand towel, and with a few dabs, the stain faded. “I’m glad I wore red tonight. I’m a little to blame, myself, I suppose. My language might have been a little blue for the occasion.”

“Not at all. It’s completely my fault.” Eddie still felt mortified. His only mission was to play the role of the perfect hostess, and as far as he was concerned he failed. He was certain Aunt Frances was turning over in her grave, that is if she already wasn’t over his new bouffant coiffure. “Tonight was so important for Jackie, and I’ve gone and bungled the whole thing.”

“Hush now, you haven’t bungled anything. Rodney Farris’ wife got sloshed, and threw up in Hughey’s lap, and he’s still Tate’s VP of development. All in all, tonight has been a gas, and the food was delicious. That beef wellington was worth every penny this dress cost. More than a fair price in my book.”

“You don’t have to say that. I’m an okay cook, I know, but I’m not that great.”

“Honey, I’ve been to all four corners of this globe, and I’d be hard pressed to think of a meal that wasn’t that delicious. On that note, could I have the bathroom for a moment. Aunt Flo just came by for a visit.”

“Oh my god…right!” Eddie’s face burned red as he fumbled with the door knob. “There’s um…products under the sink…if you need them.” Eddie couldn’t close the door fast enough.

A few moments later, the door opened again. Veronica had put herself back together, and strode out as elegant as she was when they’d first arrived. Eddie was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed at the knee. Lost in thought, he was transfixed on his reflection in the nearby vanity mirror, marveling at the sheer height of his new helmet hairdo. “I was not expecting that this early.” Veronica said, snapping Eddie back from his reverie. “It’s gotten irregular as I’ve gotten older. I’ll almost be happy when the change finally comes.”

“Right.” Eddie agreed, not exactly sure what he was agreeing to.

“Speaking of which, I know you’ve got a secret, Edie dear.”

“You do?” For the first time in his life, Eddie was feeling a little tipsy. That feeling immediately turned to a nauseated horror while he frantically tried to shove a lump back down his throat.

“I do. I’m betting you were expecting some old mummy to show up, and chastise you for having the wrong doilies.”

“Oh. Well yeah.” Eddie was so relieved at the turn of the conversation that he momentarily forgot his role for the evening. “I…I mean, you are younger than I was expecting.”

“We do have…a May, December marriage, but don’t let Hughey fool you. That man is as spry as anyone. I mean, I’m still a showgirl at heart. I have to be with a man who can keep up, and he’s certainly the man for me.”

“You two are obviously in love. I think it’s aspirational.”

“Well, I can tell you that Jack certainly loves you. The way he tells it, he’d arrive at work in nothing but a whiskey barrel if it wasn’t for you. You love him too, I know. All night you’ve bent over backwards for his boss because you want him to succeed at work. You two have a true partnership. It’s built on respect. I know a hundred old bats from Tate Christmas parties who’d kill for that.”

“I was certain I’d ruined things for him…with that little mishap, I mean.”

“Honey, I swear things aren’t ruined.” Veronica was obviously bursting at the seems to share a little secret of her own. “Okay, I don’t want to steal the good news from your husband, but I can’t keep it in. Just pretend it’s a surprise when he tells you.”

“Don’t keep me on the edge of my seat.”

“Hughey is promoting Jack. He’ll be the VP over sales once they finalize some new contract tomorrow. The new business is definitely a factor, but Hughey says Jack is like a pitbull once you set him to a task. He just doesn’t stop till he makes the sale.”

“That’s amazing!” Eddie nearly shouted, before reigning himself in. He was thrilled. He knew Jack had always worked hard to care for them, and now it was paying off. “I bet Leonard isn’t thrilled about Jack being promoted above him.”

“Leonard can stuff it. If he wants to do anything about it, he’ll have to get his numbers up first. Honestly, Hughey might get rid of him. He can’t stand him personally. If he’s not producing results, what good is he?”

“Oh well…”

“You’re right, we shouldn’t talk about someone else’s misfortune. What we should talk about is your future? Are you ready to be a Tate Chemical wife?”

“I’m sorry. A Tate Chemical wife? What does that entail?”

“You know, sales is a single man’s game. Jack has been wine-ing and dining junior executives with late nights out and you’ve had to deal with that for long enough. Your husband will be home every night from now on. Company leadership is a married man’s game. “The trade off is you have to show up now. Company picnics, horse races, dinner parties; I could go on and on. Obviously you’re an amazing hostess. Are you ready to put those skills to work helping your husband land bigger accounts?”

“Oh…well…”

“I mean, you do own a suit at least, don’t you?”

“Umm…”

“Right then. Sounds like we have some work to do. Not that I don’t like your clothes. You look precious. Your style really works for you, but I doubt it will work for the stiff upper lips of the upper crust. It’s settled then. I’m taking you shopping tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow… I umm…” Internally, Eddie was wracking his brain, trying to think of any plausible reason he couldn’t join his new friend Veronica for a day out on the town. Externally this manifested as an awkward smile, and an even awkwarder silence.

“Right…No objections then. I’ll be here with a Driver around ten. Let’s hurry back out. I’m sure the men think we’re back here gossiping about them.” Veronica mischievously winked a conspiratorial wink at Eddie. “I mean, we are, but there’s no need to make them sure of it.”

*

That night, the Tates left with jovial good-byes, handshakes, and air-kisses or as Veronica explained the French would call it, la bise. As the door closed behind them, Eddie, and Jack both could finally relax. Almost as soon as the latch clicked, Eddie had kicked both heels off his feet, and let himself fall backward into Jack’s armchair. Jack first started grinning, followed by a snicker, and it was all downhill from there. Shortly he was laughing hysterically, and burying his face in his hands.

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asked, sitting up in the recliner, smirking at the awkward goofball side of Jack that only he ever got to see at home.

Jack took a few deep breaths trying to right himself, and only had a few more chuckle fits before he was able to get the words out. “I thought I was dead. Then I figured you’d get Emily to play the part, but then I remembered she was heading out of town, and for the second time, I was sure I was dead.” Jack’s eyes met with Eddie’s and the two shared a grin. “I decided around lunch time to just trust that you’d handle it, and by one I had thrown that out the window and I was back to panicking. When I opened that door, I don’t know what I expected to find, but it definitely wasn’t you looking like that. I mean, you look…”

“Strange?”

“Stunning” Caught by surprise Eddie swooned at the compliment. He didn’t know why. He only hoped Jack hadn’t noticed.

“Shut up.” he replied, standing from the armchair, and playfully slapping Jack on the arm as he walked by into the kitchen, and poured a glass of water.

“No, I’m serious.” Jack was exaggeratedly rubbing the new bruise Eddie had left. “Edie’s a looker. I’m a lucky man. Not only do I have such a beautiful wife, but we got away with it.”

Eddie had walked back into the living room, and handed another glass of water to Jack. “Drink this. You have to work in the morning, and you’ve been drinking.”

“God you’re too good to me.” Jack took the drink and started gulping it down.

“I know. Also, we haven’t gotten away with anything yet,”

“What do you mean?”

“Veronica expects her new friend Edie to spend the day shopping with her tomorrow.”

“So just cancel. I’ll make up an excuse when I get to work.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work. She doesn’t seem like the type of person to take no for an answer. Vice President is a big deal. I don’t want to rock the boat too much until you’ve signed your contract.”

“I don’t see what one has to do with the other.”

“The way she tells it, being the wife of a Tate Chemical executive is a full time job in and of itself.”

In a way he never had before, Jack reached out, and held both Eddie’s hands in his, and looked him directly in the eye. “You’ve done enough, Eddie. I really appreciate it, but you don’t have to go this far for me.”

“I want to.” Eddie replied warmly, catching Jack by surprise. It was then he remembered himself enough to explain, “I mean I want to help you. Not go shopping. I’ve already been out grocery shopping with my hair in curlers, and I’ve played the part of dinner hostess. What’s one more day in a dress?”

“Grocery shopping?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”

If you’re sure about doing this, I’m okay with it, but if you want to back out I swear I won’t hold it against you.” It was then the both of them realized that they were still holding hands, and in unison the pair’s cheeks flushed, and they pulled away from each other, Jack staring at the floor scratching the back of his head, and Eddie collecting the glasses from the table and carrying them to the kitchen trying not to make eye contact.

“I’m sure,” he said as he left the room again. He shouted back behind him. “I do want to get out of this getup though. It might be pretty but it’s very uncomfortable. Can you go across the street and get my clothes?”

“What are they doing at Emily’s?” Jack shouted back.

Eddie replied “She swapped all my stuff for some of hers in case someone had to go in our bedroom.” only to realize the use of the phrase our bedroom after the fact. He hoped Jack didn’t notice. “I thought she was being crazy, but it turns out she was right after all.”

“Gotcha. I’ll be right back then.”

In the meantime, Eddie had collected all the dishes, and stacked them up next to the sink. In an extreme rarity, he had decided to leave them for the morning. The hour was growing later, and he’d had such a big day that all he wanted to do was sleep.

In the bedroom, he’d unclipped his hose from his garter, and balled them up and tossed them into the floor. The clip-on earrings were deposited on the dresser with ease providing welcome relief to his pinched earlobes, but getting the necklace clasp unlatched with the unfamiliar nail extensions was a different story. While clumsily fumbling with the little metal device, he felt Jack move his fingers out of the way, and undo the piece for him. He asked, “Actually, can you unzip me while you’re back there?”

“Of course.” Eddie tried not to shudder when Jack’s fingers accidentally grazed the back of his neck, but couldn’t contain the simple pleasure that flowed down his spine for just a brief moment before the whir of the zipper filled the small bedroom. “I just caught a chill,” he explained.

“Well have I got bad news for you.” Jack said. “The door was locked.”

“You’re kidding.” Eddie replied incredulously. “That’s probably the first time they’ve ever done that. I have nothing to sleep in. Can I borrow something?”

“Of mine?” Jack chuckled. “I guess so, but you’ll be swimming in my pajamas. I imagine that would be like trying to sleep in a straight jacket. Your arms won’t even come out of the sleeves.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but I don’t see a better idea. If you’ve got one, let’s hear it.”

“Just wear something of Emily’s.”

“You’re joking.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“Seriously, stop making fun of me.”

“I’m not, I swear.” Jack was in fact grinning ear to ear, but it was kind. The type of smile that warmed up a person's day. “Look, if I laugh then I’ll do all of the laundry for a month.”

“Okay, fine, but you better not laugh though, or we’ll both be doomed to wear shrunken pink underwear for a while.”

Eddie opened the dresser drawer containing all of the foreign sleepwear, and searched for his outfit for the evening, struggling to find a single piece that wasn’t on the frilly side of feminine. Unable to meet that criteria he instead decided to choose based on warmth, and he selected a baby blue satin negligee decorated in white lace around the edges, with a matching chemise that tied in a little bow at the neckline, and flowed down to the sides to leave the pretty sleepwear on display though in a more modest fashion. He managed to undo the knot tying off his corset, and let it thump onto the floor, before slipping into the diaphanous nightgown.

“What do you think?” Eddie asked, twirling around and letting the skirt of the garment flair out as he faced Jack.

“Damn, you’re beautiful.” Jack was obviously a fan of Eddie’s new look, and he was doing less and less to hide it.

“That’s enough of that, Jackie.” Eddie chastised, still using the pet name he’d made up earlier that evening. He hardly noticed it rolled off of the tongue so easily. At this point, all he wanted to do was fall asleep, but in the back of his mind, he imagined the chewing out Emily would deliver if he fell asleep in his makeup after the lecture she’d given him earlier. He drowsily cleansed his face with cold cream in the bathroom sink, and then washed it all away. It was curiosity that had him dip his finger into the cocoa butter Emily had left on the back of the toilet. It felt nice enough, so he figured when in Rome and applied a generous layer onto his supple skin, rubbing it in until the pale yellow had all disappeared.

He almost forgot to put his hair up in curlers like Emily had instructed before he realized that in the morning, his hair was going to need to be roughly the same shape as it was at that moment. By the time he was finished it had almost been thirty minutes, and Jack was already tucked away under the sheets. “Okay, not quite as pretty.” Jack joked upon seeing his roommate walk out of the bathroom now dressed like his mother getting a glass of milk in the middle of the night.

“Shut up, Jack.”

“I mean you’re still pretty, but I don’t see you winning any beauty pageants in this particular getup.”

Eddie groaned and rolled his eyes before letting the negligee drop from his shoulders and onto the floor, before crawling into bed. He slid into his usual position of little spoon, and let Jack wrap his arm around his torso, though on this occasion he’d swore that Jack was squeezing him just that much tighter than usual. Their minds paced for only a little while, but in short order the pair were out like a light, saving the troubles of tomorrow for when it arrived.