Author:
Ladies give it more than trying to blend in. In all my years it isn't the girl or the woman who looked like everyone else who caught my eye. From observation the same goes for everyone else even if they weren't consciously thinking about her but admiring what they saw. Lots of compliments from both sexes. A couple men asked for a date. Had to be the skirt and blouse? Let's be realistic, I'm way past the "sell before date"
"Barbie Lee?" I woke with the nurse and everyone else in the room looking at me. OMG had I been snoring? Waiting rooms are time out and nap time. It seems everyone else plays with their phone, I take a nap and usually hear when my name is called. Must not have this time.
Normally I wear a solid color, floor length skirt or dress, matching vest. Think Pioneer Woman style. What was different today besides these men were drinking the Koolaid? Just above the knee hem, black, straight skirt. Mine fit pretty snug through the hips which I honest to god don't have. Ultra nice white rayon blouse. I didn't close the top button. A lot of women don't either. I have a natural pair top set and I was wearing a decollete underwired bra. Dream catcher earrings, single diamond drop necklace, soft red lipstick, perfume, don't remember the brand..
"You're very pretty. Do you have a date after you leave here?" She asked as I handed her my Id. It was a nice compliment and I'll bet anyone a dinner it wouldn't have happened if I had been wearing jeans or slacks like every other woman there.
Ladies, I know a lot of you go clubbing and possibly trolling but be extremely careful. If you want an honest compliment not wrapped up in a pickup line, try getting your attire and your glam together outside the club scene. The writers here have it nailed, yes it takes extra time to bring a class act. It took me over an hour before I liked what the woman looking back at me saw yesterday morning. What I'm hoping for is those who still doubt themselves, and even those who have accepted who they are, to know if I can be accepted, there is no doubt they will be.
Damn it girls, step out into the spotlight and be yourself. If you have a GG girlfriend and you need security, ask her along. If your trans girlfriend is comfortable herself, ask her. For god's sake look and act like the woman you are, confident, professional, all female. If it helps, remember you probably never saw those people before and you'll probably never meet them again. We only have one shot at this life. Don't waste it. God didn't make a mistake. It's up to each one how they accept and use the unique gift they were blessed with.
Barb
John 15:18-25
Comments
Complements and men
Hi Barb,
This post puts me in mind of an experience I had at our local Safeway. While I hadn't even begun to transition, I was quite comfortable in presenting to the world as femininely as was practical for where I was going. I was still in stealth at work and so my choice of work clothes was a pair of women's jeans (I'd long since retired all my men's jeans) my women's tennis shoes and anklets, topped with a company issue polo shirt with the company logo on it; of course full underdressing.
But I almost always wore a skirt and blouse or a dress to do the grocery shopping. One Saturday, I was in the check out line and as I was loading the belt, I noticed three older gentlemen (I say older, because they were my age or perhaps a year or two older) watching me. I had just put three "half gallons" (actually three pints) of ice cream on the belt and one of them stepped up and said, "You didn't buy any chocolate." I turned a container of Chocolate Moose Tracks so he could read the label. He smiled at me and said, "Good choice. That's a lot of ice cream you have there." I had to wonder if he was fishing for an invite to come over to help me eat the ice cream. I held up three finger on my left hand (clearly displaying my wedding ring) and said, "There are three of us. My adult daughter is living with us." He studied my ring for a moment and said, "Enjoy" and went back to his friends.
I didn't think I went to that Safeway in drab (read butch) very often, and was pretty confident that my lack of make up when not en femme (I wore full make up when en femme in those days) would throw off anyone that did see me. But occasionally my wife would call me just as I was getting off work and tell me we needed something for dinner, so it wasn't unheard of that I'd sometimes stop by in my work clothes. One day my wife neglected to call me and as I was changing into more feminine clothes, she told me that we needed something. So I finished putting my dress on and quickly did my make up. In the check out line, the cashier (the assistant manager; the one I usually went to when she was working a till) asked if I been off work that day. I told her I had worked and asked why she asked. She told me that she had noticed that when I came in at that time of day through the week I was normally wearing my work clothes, but that day I was dressed nicely. I'm certain that in my work clothe that I presented sufficiently masculine for the average person to read me as male. Yet here was a woman who regularly saw me about once a week en femme and occasionally in my work clothes and made no bones about knowing I was the same person in both modes and was OK with that even to the point of complimenting my choice of clothes while en femme.
Acceptance on two levels. My story is not as impressive as yours, since you live down in the Bible belt (OK and/or TX if I remember correctly) and I live in liberal Oregon.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
You are With the best of Them
Patty, my hope is those such as yourself who has walked the walk, talked the talk let the girls, women who are self doubting to know and understand. You nailed it sugar. One only must be themselves and leave the doubt in the closet. Thank you for giving voice to what you think, feel and live so others may share your success as a woman. Our stories can only go so far. They are fiction after all.
You are one of the best Patty. And if you've ever been to a self improvement workshop or a Dale Carnegie workshop, you know and understand we all need support even if we manage on our own.
When you're up you're up
When you're down you're down
When you're only half way up you are neither up nor down.
Hugs Patty, take care of yourself girl
Barb
Not a freak nor an abomination.
An opinion is based on emotions
Judgement is based on fact
I know God loves me. He made me.
Those who judge shall be judged themselves.
Matthew 7:2
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl