Being Descriptive

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I may read more than most people, and much of it is at BCTS. Most of the stories I read are good to excellent. If there is one suggestion that I would make to almost all authors, it would be to be more descriptive in their writing. There is a balance between that and wordiness and I am not sure that I know where that is. I would make the same criticism of my own writing.

Gwen

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I try to be, but I get bored

leeanna19's picture

I try to be, but I get bored and only describe the sex. LOL

I think I write stories that are a series of events. I can write more descriptively, but I just want to get on with the story. If I ever start to sell my stories, perhaps I will spend more time.

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Leeanna

The art of description

erin's picture

There are three tasks in writing fiction that a good description can be useful in accomplishing.

Scene setting: This helps put the reader into the scene and makes it feel more real. When setting the scene a particular version of the rule of three comes into play. Anchor the scene in the reader's imagination by involving three of the senses. Sight and hearing are commonly used but even they are more effective if a third sense is included. Smell, vibration, balance, color, texture, pattern, touch, taste and gut feelings are senses, too, use them.

Character introduction. Make your characters individuals with a good description. Again, pick three things to describe and use concrete illustrative terms: analogies, similes, and metaphors do work. Tall, sexy, and good-looking is not enough. Tall enough to reach the Christmas tree decorations. Good-looking like a self-satisfied cat. Sexy as a race car on a stolen road.

Action. Remember, words alter time. A long description can cover a brief period of time, and a short description can cover a long time. She fell through space, her hands shaping the air, her long legs and feet pointing at the sky as she entered the water without a splash. We slept on the couch, tangled together like lost kittens.

Thanks, Gwen for bringing this up.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

After reading that Erin, I

leeanna19's picture

After reading that Erin, I realise how bad I am at writing. I think the one thing I'm good at is ideas. I know I should write a better story but often it is like I just have to get the idea down as quickly as possible. When I retire and have more time perhaps...

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Leeanna

Pushing the Limits

I am working on an entirely new story, having run out of old works that I thought deserved another look. It is a forced gender change story and I am not sure where it is going yet, though it is likely pushing the limits of propriety.

Gwen

Don't Put Yourself Down

joannebarbarella's picture

Leanna! You're a good writer. We can all improve but we all have our own paths to glory! Finding them is the problem!

Thanks Joanne, I know I can

leeanna19's picture

Thanks Joanne, I know I can write better than I do, I don't get the time mostly. I have lost the urge recently. I think this is due to spending more time as Leeanna recently than I have before. She seems fulfilled, for a while anyway.

The air was cooler than she thought, but then again she had just removed all her body hair. She glanced across the bedroom at her reflection in the full-length mirror standing in the corner of the room. She sighed, She despised her male body, She noticed the slight swelling on her chest. Not enough though, not enough to refer to them as breasts. Disappointment showed on her face. She had suspected that the herbal "natural" female hormones she was taking would never really change her body.

Turning away from her reflection, she stepped towards the bed. The brown shagpile carpet tickled the souls of her feet. She felt so sensitive and sensual. This only happened when she was going to be Maria. The fading light of the spent day cast an orange glow on her wall. On her black duvet sat her underwear. She held her breath as she lifted the black nylon stocking to her face. She loved the smell of the nylon. It invoked so many memories. The thought that the smooth black translucent fabric was going to be sensually sliding up her smooth legs soon was intoxicating. It would transform her legs into women's legs.

Her legs were the only part of her body she loved. Often she would spend an eternity just looking at her legs in stockings and heels. Wishing the rest of her appearance was as feminine. She gently lowered the stocking back onto the bed. The dark fabric was almost invisible against the duvet. Suspender belt first, she thought.

I take hours to write 1500 words. If I wrote like that my stories would be 6000 words.

She turned awa

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Leeanna

Set yourself targets

And before long, you will be hitting them.
When I started writing fiction (after years of writing totally arid reports and specifications) it was hard work.

Wind the clock forward to today and I have just completed the November writing challenge of 1500 words per day, 45000 in total. The final lap today was to knock off 800+ words of a story to bring it close to completion in just over an hour. Next? The washing up and a pile of ironing. While I'm doing that, I'll plan the ending of that story.

Samantha

Great Post Erin

It is a short introduction to the real art of story telling.
A good story starts with the facts that you want to get across to the reader but that can only go so far. It is all the extra details that make it come alive.
"A sudden gust of wind caught him by surprise. He'd forgotten just how cold it could get. It was too late to put on another layer now. He'd just have to get this job over and done with ASAP. Changing a flat in -20C temps is no joke especially if you were dressed for the warm indoors. By the time he was done even his runny nose was freezing up."

Rather than,
"he got a flat tyre on his way to the dance. Luckily there was a spare in the boot."

both can describe the same scene but which describes it more vividly in your mind? That said, we all resort to the latter description when we are in a hurry to tell the story. For a first draft, that's fine but you do have to go back and edit it before posting... unless... you are into minimalist prose but that is another story all of its own.

Thanks Erin,
Samantha

What I've been trying to do lately...

Iolanthe Portmanteaux's picture

This is something I've only come to lately, but for what it's worth:

If you picture what you're writing about, one scene at a time, and you ask yourself, Where is this happening? and all that goes along with the "where." If you start by describing, even minimally, the image, the sounds, the smells, you won't have to write lines like "Charlie felt sad."

If, instead of starting off by defining Charlie's mood, you start off talking about a dim basement with a wet patch on one wall, a low ceiling, and a musty smell that Charlie wonders whether it's impregnating his clothes, and whether the people at his job can tell that he's living in a basement... well, if you do that, you've already given the reader a feeling for Charlie's general state without speaking about his emotions at all.

There's a very short book that's helpful about this specific topic (and others): This Year You Write Your Novel by Walter Moseley. You might find a copy at your local library.

- iolanthe

Purple Prose

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

So bad it's good.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)