I went and got a fresh tire and innertube yesterday and just now I went to install them, preparatory to going grocery shopping. The tyre wasn't a problem. The tube, however, had some sort of newfangled valve that I've never seen the likes of and that my tyre pump won't fit.
Oh, and I can totally tell you that using american tools on a bike with metric fittings is a recipe for scraped-up hands and lots of rather inventive cursing....

Anyway, I'm bruised and scraped and I still don't have a bloody working bike.