A Needed Change - Part Five

It was Thursday after work and I was on my way round to see Steph. I think she wanted an update on my Friday night dates with her boyfriend, and I wasn’t even slightly worried about anything. Yes, we did kiss that night the Lionesses won, but since then all we’ve done is some occasional hand holding and some kisses on the cheek, nothing special. The first date night we went out to the cinema then a couple of drinks and chat afterwards; like I said, nothing special. Since then we’ve pretty much done the same unless there was nothing of interest to watch at the cinema.

It’s been nice to spend time with him, and she was right, I did need to explore that side of me in a safe way, it’s fun to flirt with men when I’m out with Steph, but interacting with a man like this was a bit new and an easy way to find out what I like. I mean, yes, last week when I got home I need to release some stress and my toys were definitely helping with that, and I do think of Rich sometimes when I’m using them. But other faces had started to become part of the rota of imaginary male partners now. There was an Italian man I followed on insta who seemed to be a new part of that, but he hasn’t followed me back yet. I did look at some of the photos I was sent on there, but they had just too much overweight belly on show in the dick pics for most of them to help satisfy me.

Anyway, I was on my way to hers and in a simple black dress as it was a nice enough evening and she let me in. Turns out I didn’t need to update her on my progress. We had never spoken about it with each other, I mean, he is her boyfriend on loan, but he had told her everything that happens on our dates, and she got right to the point.

“So, how come you’ve been acting like a maiden aunt when you’ve got a free pass?”

That wasn't what I expected her to say. “Wait, were you serious?”

She nodded, and we talked a bit more about it, how I was thinking that what I’ve been doing was just a way for me to learn more. Even my therapist thought it was good idea, but while I had discussed some of my desires with them and how I should consider doing something about it, I’m not sure if I want to risk their relationship that way.

Steph said, “Oh get over yourself! We’re both ok with it, both understand the risks and you’ve given him enough erections that you may as well do something with them.”

Of course I had noticed, I had enjoyed how they felt when we hugged and it touched me, but taking the next step? That night I struggled to get to sleep and the next day at work I whispered to Steph that I would think about what she said, see what happens that night.

I think before he came round I decided what I would do as every other time we had gone out I hadn’t dressed down so much, but I had dressed casually. Today as I was picking out what I wanted to wear I didn't pick anything like that and went for a black strappy dress with an a line skirt, not a mini dress, but a short one for sure. I hadn’t bothered with my breast forms last night, but I did spend time glueing them on now and blending the edges, and I think I was trying to appeal to him. There was a lot going through my mind, or at least a lot going through the back of my mind, while I focused on how I looked and kept touching up my makeup, how I was dressed and tidying up the flat, trying to keep myself busy.

The door buzzer sounded and I went to let him into the building, but stopped, making him wait. I tried to last at least a minute, but I know I caved in way before that. But I didn’t open the door to my flat for him, I was going to make him wait for that while I checked myself once again in the mirror, fluffing my hair up a bit with my hands. When he did knock the door, I walked over and opened it, letting him see me.

I was a bit disappointed at what he was wearing, jeans, tee shirt and scruffy trainers. I looked him in the eye, and he said, “Wow, you look great.”

Well, he got a little bit of forgiveness for that.

He explained he thought we would be doing the same as last time, and he suggested he could get changed to make the night a bit more special. I told him it was fine, we could get a takeaway and watch something here on Netflix.

A sly smile came across his face and he said, “And chill?”

“Don’t get your hopes up and order some food.”

I spun on my heel and walked away, but could see his reflection checking me out, so I gave my hips a bit more movement, deciding to keep the teasing going a bit longer as I stood in the kitchen and said, “Is a cup of tea ok?”

He confirmed it was, and I got the sense from him he knew I was a little miffed he wasn’t dressed nice. It is technically our fourth date, so there’s a lot of conventions we should have been following. But here we are having a cup of tea with me dressed up and him looking like he was ready for a night out with his mates.

Still, I knew exactly what I was going to make him watch, even if I did think it was a rubbish film. So half an hour later after finishing our takeaway and tea, I picked the film and I felt him get ready for an argument, but raised eyebrow and glanced at what he was wearing was enough to get my way. I did pour us both a glass of wine and we sat of the sofa next to each other, me with my legs underneath me and I hit play on Fifty Shades of Grey.

It is a rubbish film, the story is crap and according to my ex girlfriend it’s quite vanilla really, just gentle fantasy stuff, but perfect for tonight and my subconscious mind made itself more known to me.

I was ready.

I waited until a moment in the film when I thought he was likely to be reacting down there, and asked him to fill up my glass with a teasing smile. He gave me a look and it was clear he was reacting to the film, but he got up and went and got me some wine. Coming back, his erection was front and centre, and I expected him to either try to hide it, or at least make himself a bit more comfortable with it. He handed me my glass and went to sit down, and I could see he needed to make an adjustment but looked embarrassed about it, so I said, “Go on, I don’t mind.”

He stuck his hands down his jeans, moved the bulge then sat down. I said, “Do you mind if I get more comfortable as well?”

But without waiting for an answer, I snuggled up to him, leaning on his shoulder and he put his arm around me.

It was nice.

I sat there watching the film, but my eyes were also flicking down to his erection, wondering if I should or I shouldn’t. I looked up at him and he was watching me look, and we kissed, gently. It felt natural and the right thing to do, sitting here with my date, his arm around me, watching a slightly smutty film, stroking my arm and shoulders while I stroked his chest, feeling and listening to his heart, wondering if he could hear my own as I could feel it thumping in my chest.

Of course I did!

As our kissing got more intense, I ran my hand down across his stomach, I needed to feel it. I think I knew when I got ready, how Steph reassured me this was ok, that this would happen, but slowly and gently I rested my hand on the bulge in his jeans, running my fingers over it lightly as I traced the shaped, knowing from the pressure of his kiss that he liked it. My thumb touched the buttons on his fly and I wondered if I should or not, but he lifted his hips, just a little to try and increase the pressure of my fingers. I broke the kiss and we opened our eyes to look at each other as I took hold of a button pushing a finger between the gap, reaching for him with a single finger, giving him a chance to call a stop if he wanted to, but he pressed his lips against me again and we carried on kissing.

I tried to undo a button one handed, but it was tough, so I just popped the top button on his jeans and then each button after that was easy. I slipped my hand in and felt him through his boxers and he moaned lightly into my mouth. I could feel more of him now, start to feel the shape of it, the heat of it and how it seemed to have a life of its own as it moved with his heart beat. I put my hand in his boxers and now I was holding him, and yes, it didn’t just feel nice, it felt amazing.

I wrapped my hand around it, and begun stroking him gently, slowly, feeling how he reacted to my touch, learning what he liked as I begun to increase the speed of my strokes. I was enjoying it and in the moment, but a part of me was monitoring not how I felt - I was loving every second of holding him - I was monitoring how he was reacting to me, learning how to be better, how to get him off.

Plus I really wanted to know he was enjoying it. He seemed to be liking it, and his breathing started to speed up so I increased my pace, thankful my hand or arm wasn’t aching from my efforts. And then I wondered what my next steps were going to be. He was about to cum and I wanted to see it, so I broke the kiss and looked down. His breathing got sharper and I watched with interest now, wanting to see it happen. He grabbed his tee shirt to pull it up, not wanting to get any cum on it, but it was too late. I stopped pumping the moment I saw his balls lift and his stomach tense as the first spurt shot out, holding him tight and feeling him swell and twitch.

My first thought was, ‘I need to get some tissues’, followed instantly by, ‘there was another option.’ But I don’t think I was ready for that, I wanted to, but right now I was enjoying stoking him gently and using my thumb on the tip of his cock, rubbing the last drips I was squeezing out across it. I looked at the slippery mess on his chest, stomach, and the few drops on his tee shirt.

He leant towards me and we kissed while I kept playing with his slowly deflating cock, and then he said, “Thank you. I’ve been waiting weeks for that.”

I kissed him again.

Saturday morning I woke to a text from Steph saying ‘Finally!’, followed by another asking me if I wanted to go shopping and then grab some lunch. I didn’t need to be asked twice. We met at the cafe in park for brunch, a girl needs fuel to look in the shops, and as it was a lovely day I put on one of my white short summer dresses. Of course, the moment she saw me she pulled me into a hug and said I needed to tell her all about last night, and she wondered why I didn’t take full advantage and do the very thing I once confessed to her I wanted to do.

I did admit to having a taste of what landed on my hand, just to see what it was like, and she screwed up her face, telling me how much she hates it. I said, “Really? I kinda liked it to be honest. It’s not like eating a strawberry, but it’s nice.”

She really didn’t believe me but previous research online had told me that either not everyone has a nice flavour, or that not every woman enjoys the flavour. Still, I liked it, even if it was only a drop, ok, a few drops of it.

We carried on looking in the shops and I found myself buying some new lingerie for no other reason than I wanted it, and we went back to hers for a break before deciding what we wanted to do that night. We ended up going to the cinema and bumping into Rich in a bar with a couple of his friends, sharing a drink with them for before they went one way and we went the other. One thing that made me happy here is they treated like a woman, trying to flirt with me, asking if I was seeing anyone and despite blushing, accepting my insistence that I wasn’t interested in dating anyone right now.

Steph was very happy with that, as it told her that Rich had kept his promise to keep my secret even if I did say that for all she knows they might be chasers or trying to tick a ‘curiosity’ box. Still, we sat there drinking some wine and at about half eleven Rich came home, gave Steph a kiss, and then gave me a kiss as well. I shared a look with Steph and she said to him, “By the way, did you ever tell them the truth about Becca?”

He shook his head, then looked at me and said, “I promise I wouldn’t do that to you.” Quickly adding, “I’m not embarrassed about you or what happened yesterday, but it’s your choice who you tell, not mine.”

Steph looked at me, saying ‘I told you so’ with her eyes, then added. “Well, in that case, I need to keep my promise.”

We both looked at her confused, wondering what she was on about, and she said, “Don’t you remember, I said if you kept Becca’s secret you would get a blow job.”

A very smug and satisfied smile crossed his face and he told her he was now looking forward to going to bed later.

Steph said, “I never said I would give you the blow job.”

And she looked at me saying, “You said you wanted to; here’s your chance.”

I was trying to say no, saying that now wasn't the time and even Rich was saying let it happen when I was ready, but she said, “Oh for gods sake, she’s ready and gagging for it. All three of us know it, know how much she wants it, how much you want it.” And she turned to face me, taking my hands, saying, “I know how much you want to, I saw you pick up some more lube again this week. If you tell me you don’t want this I will never mention it again. But I think you do.”

I was embarrassed, felt red all over, but I knew she was right. I wanted this and I’ve had just the right amount of alcohol to be completely in control of my choices, but my inhibitions have been weakened. I nodded and she squealed in delight, making me giggle. She let go of my hands, grabbed her boyfriend and told him to sit right there, turned back to me and said, “Treat him great.”

And then she sat down, looking at me and I realised she was going nowhere and she wanted me to do it right here. “Wait, here and now?”

She nodded and I looked at Rich, and he looked both nervous and excited at the same time, I guess I did as well but I never expected her to sit there and watch. I asked her if she really wanted to watch this, but she said again that yes, it might be me doing it, but it was her boyfriend so she felt it was only fair as she was lending him to me. I moved towards him, kneeling down between his legs.

He went to undo his jeans, but Steph stopped him and said, “She’s the one that wants this, she has to do all the work.”

I undid the buttons, and started to open them up, reaching in and taking out his quite impressive cock, about eight inches long, a nice thickness but not painfully girthy, but very pleasant to look at and very nice to hold. I started to stroke him and looked across at Steph who gave me a thumbs up. It was clear that the jeans weren’t low enough, so I pulled off his shoes and started to lower the jeans, pulling his boxers down with them. I thought to myself that last night when I gave him a handjob, I didn’t need to do this, but now, kneeling here, I needed a better angle to make sure we both enjoyed it.

Once the jeans were out of the way, with a quick glance to Steph to confirm permission as I grabbed his erection, I asked again if this was ok and she told me if I didn't hurry up it will go off in my hand again. I was too nervous to giggle as I shuffled closer, getting my face closer to it and getting a proper look now, something I never got to enjoy last night. I stroked him slowly, played with his balls and just looked and watched as a bit of precum appeared at the tip. I leant forward, put my tongue out and touched the tip, licking it up and thinking that it was a nice taste, I could get used to this. I glanced up and looked at Rich and we looked into each others eyes. I licked the tip again, running my tongue around the head of his cock, getting a bigger flavour of him.

I completely forget about Steph as I licked him from the bottom to the top, and opened my mouth and engulfed him. There, I’m finally sucking a cock, teasing him with my tongue as I sucked, making him moan in appreciation. I came up for some air and started licking him again, I wanted to make him as wet as I possible as I needed to try it as soon as I could, opening my mouth and taking him in, resting him at the back of my mouth, bobbing up and down but not going any deeper while I enjoyed the feel of him filling my mouth.

I was running my tongue around the head, looking up at him and into his eyes waiting for him to open them and look at me and he did and smiled at me kneeling there with his cock in my mouth. Keeping eye contact, I went down and kept going, feeling him in the back of my mouth, going past that and he started to moan again, then I kept going down taking him all the way, still looking him in the eye as he filled my throat as I stuck my tongue out and licked his balls.

My personal record is 38 second of full deep throat, but what happened next surprised me.

When I was learning how to do this, I trained myself to go a bit deeper each day and hold it there, but once the dildo passed my throat barrier there was no point waiting any longer and I just pushed down on it. My plan then was to stick my tongue out to lick the balls of the dildo, but I never got that far. The moment my lips hit the balls of the silicone cock I came. It never happened again, no matter how much I love throating it, but this time, with a real one I came in my thong again.

And I wasn’t the only one cumming this time.

The moment he started to make my throat bulge, I felt him swell and cross the edge, twitching in my throat as he came, both of us looking into each others eyes. I held him there till he finished and I loved it, it just felt amazing to be connected in such an intimate way as we both orgasmed. I never noticed it, but of course I was having throat spasms when I took him in, and he later told me that it was so unexpected and felt so amazing he couldn't hold back. But right then we were both quite enjoying the moment post orgasm as I went slowly up and down on him, taking him all the way in and all the way out, looking in his eyes.

I lifted off him completely and held it, and Steph noticed that he was now only semi erect and she said, “Oh my god! You came from a blow job in her throat!” I looked at her and was about to say sorry, but she slapped my bum and said, “Way to go girl! I can’t believe how much your throat swelled. I could even see it moving as he came.” Then she looked back to him and said, “Don’t get your hopes up, I still don’t like doing it.”

I giggled, but still hadn’t let go of his cock, and I was a little bit upset. Not because of what I did - I was glad I had finally done it and confirmed that I did like doing it - and not because I had swallowed his cum, I wanted to do that as well. No, I was a little upset as I wanted to feel it happen in my mouth and now I wondered if I would ever be able to stop him trying to cum down my throat if we ever do it again.

Four weeks later I thought back to that night, and nothing had changed because of it. I was still great friends with Steph, I still had my Friday night date night, but now oral became part of the routine, usually at least twice and my skills were getting much better, although my record remained at 38 seconds and I got to enjoy it happening in my mouth as well. I still love it, still enjoy it and now, here at a music festival with Steph I felt even more feminine than before. My therapist was happy for me, but also telling me I should get myself a boyfriend of my own, one that I can be honest with and maybe start thinking about what I want to do in the future.

Anyway, we only had a Saturday ticket for the festival and as it was fairly local, we went back to mine after and she stayed the night, sharing a bed again, chatting away till the early hours. One thing she did ask me is why I had never invited Rich into here, after all, I had the opportunity and it’s not like we hadn’t talked about me riding the dildo while looking at his insta.

“I’m not sure to be honest. I know you said I could, but he is your boyfriend and I don’t want him too think he’s cheating on you.”

“Oh please, he knows what the boundaries are and you are still a very long way within them.”

“But he’s never made a move on me like that, how do I know he wants to?” I asked her.

She thought about it for a minute and and asked if she could borrow a swimsuit if I promised to glue my forms on tomorrow. I had no idea what she was on about, but said yes anyway.

I woke up to an empty bed and Steph was in one of my blue swimsuits sorting out a coffee for me, told me to have a shower and get cleaned up, glue my tits on as Rich will be here in an hour and we were going to make use of my communal garden today. Once we had eaten, we went into my bedroom and she went right to the yellow bikini I brought in a fit of confidence I wasn’t feeling today. I tried to complain, but she was insistent that I should, I could wear a robe for now, but I was going to sunbathe in a bikini with her and her boyfriend.

When he arrived he had an icebox full of soft drinks, and wearing a bathrobe we headed for the garden. I didn’t have Steph’s confidence in just wearing the swimsuit and not worrying about people looking at her. There wasn’t anyone to look at us but I kept the robe on anyway. The garden is nearly always empty, but I did guide us to a more sheltered area as I didn’t want all my neighbours looking out the window at us.

I took of the robe and sat down, catching Rich looking at me and Steph smiling at him while he tried to sneak a look. I settled down after a few minutes, no longer feeling like I was naked in public, but every so often feeling conscious of someone in the flats when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye, but I did mostly feel quite comfortable sitting there talking to my friends as we relaxed and caught some sun.

And then Steph told me to put my drink down for a second and I put it on the ground between my feet and looked up. My legs were wide open and Rich was looking at me, or more accurately, he was looking down there, and I liked him looking and bloody hell! Steph was right, yes I do want this and seeing him looking at me I knew he did as well.

I really should be angry with her, but I understood what she did to me today. She forced me to accept that I not only do I want to get laid, so does he.

I closed my legs and crossed them, and other than seeing him look at me and make no attempt to hide the erection in his shorts, I thought it would be fun to tease him a bit. I said, “I’m sorry about that, such a shame it’s not a Friday or I could deal with it. But rules are rules.”

And me and Steph fell about laughing at his pain, and she told him not to worry she will take care of everything for him tonight. Early evening it was time for them to go home, so Steph sent Rich away to put everything back in the car, and we headed up so she could get changed to go home. I asked her to help me removed the breast forms and she said, “Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “Your breast forms look huge now, did you get a new pair?”

“No, these are the same ones.” I told her, and the first one came away in her hand. She stood there looking at one of my boobs with a querying look on her face, and then helped with the second.

She said, “I think you need to get a bra fitting again as I think they are bigger.”

And that led to us sizing up and feeling my boobs, looking at them in the mirror trying to work out what was going on, which is how Rich found us, with two lumps of silicone on the bed, us facing the mirror and Steph cupping one of my tits. She told him not to get excited as I covered up.

He definitely saw at least one of them, and Steph told me the next day she was sorry, she had no idea he was coming back up, but they did it four times last night, so me in a bikini with his girlfriend holding one of my tits and seeing the other one, well, the poor boy got over excited.

On Friday as we were leaving work, she said to me, “Oh, don’t send him home until tomorrow morning, I want to have a quiet night at home, so he can stay with you. Ok?” And she winked.

My mind went into over drive at this point, and I felt my phone vibrate with a message, followed by another one right after. Once I parked I checked them and the text from Steph said ‘I’m serious, you need to try this at least once Becca, this is clearly a part of you and you owe it to yourself.’ I replied with a heart, but still not sure if me doing this would damage both of them, but especially her. I checked the other message and it was from Rich saying, ‘I’ve booked a table for tonight, pick you up at half seven if that’s ok?’ On my way up in the lift I was thinking very hard what to reply to him, not even sure if I wanted to commit myself to this extra step.

Who was I kidding! I sent a heart to him as well, ran in and jumped in the bath as soon as I could, knowing I had a limited amount of time to get ready and not sure if I should keep the very complicated thing I had kept going all week out not, then just thought, why not? You see, although I had touched it up a little during the week, I had been tucked non-stop since the festival. My therapist had suggested I join a support group and while I didn’t particularly enjoy it the few times I went, I did learn some new tricks from them, and one of them I tried out all this week.

Removing the spirit gum from groin wasn't a lot of fun, making sure I was cleaning of all of it, but it had worked really well and for the dress I was thinking of wearing tonight I would need to do it again. After making sure I was smooth everywhere again, really dry where I needed to be, I laid on the bed and got the fresh bottle of spirit gum and tucked, painting it where I needed it to hold me in place, laying there while I waited for it to dry.

And then I was really annoyed as the playlist I picked at random on Spotify started playing some awful music and I had to lay there listening to it!

But once that was dry and looked perfect, I slipped on a silk robe and started doing my hair and makeup, trying to time it so that I would be ready to walk downstairs and meet him at the door. Riding the lift in my LBD, checking out my bum in the mirror of course and looking down at my strappy shoes, I felt remarkably confident, and walking across the lobby I saw the effect of my hard work on his face. I looked good. I kissed him on the cheek, walked across the pavement to his car and he opened the door for me. I sat in bum first, swinging my legs in and hoping I was discreet enough. As we drove away he said nothing for a couple of minutes until he said, “Um, can I ask you something?”

I turned my head to look at him with a smile, and he asked, “So, um. Are you going commando?”

I said, “A gentleman would never ask a question like that.” I waited a couple of seconds before adding, “But the bigger question is if you will find out later?”

When we got to the restaurant, it was just an amazing evening, really romantic and for the first time I felt like our Friday nights date were really a date, not just two people hanging out and then two people hanging out who fool around a little.

Anyway, as we walked back to the car we kissed and his hand ran down my back and slipped into the low cut back, cupping my bum cheek as he pulled me into him. We had to stop of course, and as he opened the door to his car said, “I knew it.” And extracted his hand from my dress, making me shiver in anticipation.

I climbed in, I knew I didn’t need to be discreet anymore. He already knew. Too be fair, the dress left very little to the imagination and although I was practically naked all evening, I never once felt it. I enjoyed the way he looked at me, I enjoyed the way other men in there looked at me, I even enjoyed the looks of annoyance from some of their dates that they were looking at me.

I felt great, womanly.

And now, I was going home with a man, and I felt ready for everything that would happen. I’ve been wanting this, needing this, and laying there underneath him as he thrust into me, I was revelling in it. My legs were wide open, we were kissing tenderly and passionately, moving together and he felt perfect inside me. There was no pain, just gentle lust, and even though I was tucked away, I could feel I was semi hard but no pain from it, just pleasure.

I could feel my orgasm build, hoping we would have one together but I beat him to it. I had never cum from anal before, been close a few times, but now I was cresting a wave of pleasure from everything he was doing to me, how he felt inside me. It was everything I ever wanted as I orgasmed, but the feeling was in every part of my body, rolling through me as I clung to him while he slowed down and pressed into me further. Everything he was doing to me, was for me.

I lay there with him still deep inside me as I came down, kissing him once again and thanking him for such a wonderful moment in time, making my fantasy real, telling him how great he feels inside me. He whispered in my ear, “It’s not over yet.”

And he fucked me slowly, made love to me and my pleasure never wained, but rolled through me again, building up again till I thought I couldn't take anymore. I felt my orgasm start to rise but this time, I could sense he was close too. I’ve swallowed enough of his cum to know when he is ready, so I encouraged him along, trying to make sure we both experience it together.

And we did.

He thrust into me, feeling deeper than before, pushing forward and tipping me over the top of the wave as we clung together, him filling me with his seed deep inside me as we came together. We lay there, locked together, clinging to him, and we kissed.

I said, “I know it’s because you’re my first, so please don’t read anything into this, but right now I love you.”

He kissed me and said, “And I know it’s only because I’m inside you and you’re my friend, but I love you too.”

We made love twice more that night and once again in the morning, but we never said I love you again.

After we had showered, I got a text from Steph saying she was going to come round and pick up her boyfriend, and when she walked in we were both dressed and of course she knew it had happened, I mean, I couldn't stop grinning for a start. She hugged me and whispered in my ear that she was happy for me, then told Rich he had better have been gentleman. I never told her about saying I loved him, I didn’t need to as we had talked about it, and it was just a ‘love the one you’re with’ type thing. I did care about him, but like he said, he is also my friend and my BFF’s boyfriend as well. Just a loaner for the night.

But from then on we became fuck buddies. Our Friday night dates continued and once every three weeks he would stay overnight with me, and Steph said she was pleased for the break and my therapist thought I was risking breaking an emotional bond between them, we trusted each other. Besides, he was just practice for me.

At work I was still Beck, but I knew I would need to make a decision soon. My boobs were now a little over an A cup and almost a full B now, but keeping them hidden at work was becoming harder. One day I was running a bit late and had a laundry crisis so I had to wear a bralet under my dress down hoody. Steph noticed immediately and the rest of the day was hell being hunched over.

Yes, of course we can all work out where this story ends with Becca, but give me a break, there’s still a long way to go before we get there.

In September I was out during the week with Steph in a bar and chatting away, just wearing jeans and a tee shirt when two guys from work came in. It wasn’t that busy in here and while I was on nodding terms with Luke, the other I had only really seen around the office, Jamie. Of course, Steph knew both of them, so they came over to say hello.

While I had barely noticed Jamie before, I defiantly noticed him now. He is really hot, whereas Jamie is more like handsome in a rugged way, like Harrison Ford so to speak. Steph being the more socially aware, or at least, more aware of how men are than me, knew what to do and introduced me to both of them. I thought I was busted and had no idea what to say, but it seemed neither recognised me, and as Steph said later, a pair of obvious tits and not having my hair slicked back makes a big difference.

After I got over my initial nerves and hesitancy, it was quite a nice evening and we all got on well. We chatted and I lied about my job, saying I was temping and quite liking the constant change in scenery. It allowed me to make up a load of rubbish and make it sound like I was quite boring.

But it didn’t seem to work as the next day in the office, the one I only know from a distance, Jamie, came over to chat to Steph about me. Stupidly I had said I was single and I completely missed the look from Steph about that, but this guy wanted to go for a drink with me. He is cute, I suppose, lying through my teeth to myself about how hot he is, and sitting here in fear, hoping that Steph will say Becca isn’t interested.

Of course she was ignoring me, and I was thinking it might be a good idea to send her a text when she said, “I’ll ask her, but I’ll be honest, she never mentioned either of you. But I think she enjoyed your company so maybe I can talk her into it.”

He thanked her and walked off, and like the bitch my BFF is, she carried on ignoring me and got back to work. I just sat there looking at her, and without turning her head said, “Lets go to lunch, I want to ask you something.”

I hated her right now!

And somehow on Thursday evening I was getting ready for a double date with her, Rich and Jamie. I was not a happy bunny, but she did make a good point, I mean, yes, I enjoy spending time with her boyfriend, but what about being on a date with another man?

She had come home with me to veto whatever outfit I was planning on and wouldn't let me wear jeans again, not even leggings, so there I was, sitting with her and rich in a pub waiting, wearing a short denim skirt and tee shirt, feeling very nervous. There was one unexpected thing that kept crossing my mind, a little bit of jealousy. I mean, yes, I still have my date with Rich tomorrow but right now the man who is, well, fucking me regularly is sitting there with his girlfriend and practically ignoring me.

And then Jamie walked in and he looked hot as fuck!

I felt things I had never felt for Rich, and thank god Steph was there as she kept my lust under control. Yes, I fancied Rich, yes I loved having sex with him, but Jamie made me want to jump him, and Steph told me in the toilets to calm down a bit. She said that if he does ask me out I am to put him off a bit, and to let Rich try and calm me down a bit by taking the edge off it for me beforehand. And that was an interesting thought, could I go on a date right after I was with Rich?

Oh god, I need to get this horniness under control, and I did, sort of. Yes, he suggested we go out, and I suggested going out for lunch on Saturday, sneaking a look at Steph who rolled her eyes at me, guessing what was on my mind. So the following night, I think I broke Rich, I mean, I drained him and rode him within an inch of both of our lives and we finally fell asleep in each other’s arms.

In the morning we had sex again, our first time in the shower making for some slippery passionate fun, and then once again right before we both left together, me going on my date. I wanted to feel satisfied before I met up with Jamie, and I’m really glad I did as all the sex we had together made me feel like I didn’t need to try and ooze sex appeal for the date, I knew I was attractive to men, I mean, apart from feeling little sore, I was also feeling Rich’s cum inside me.

Maybe that was a bit slutty of me, but also a good choice for me as I was still feeling like I wanted to sleep with Jamie, but as Steph said, he has no idea who I am or what my gender is. I barely know that yet myself. At least Rich knows and is a safe partner to experiment with, Jamie is a different kind of experiment for me to learn a bit more about myself.

We were originally only going to have lunch together, and then separate before the evening, but somehow we ending up eating together. He was that charming, and then we went to the cinema, sitting there and he placed a hand on my leg.

Oh shit!

I could feel my self control collapsing, and I turned to face him to say that it was a bit too soon for this, but he kissed me. I really wanted to stop it, I did, I knew this was wrong and I needed to stop before it went too far, but I just couldn't stop it, and when he cupped one of my boobs and played with my nipple, all bets were off.

I wasn’t going to do it, I really mustn't do it, of god, why am I doing it? I was stroking his cock through his trousers without even realising it, and before it was too late I was undoing the zip and putting my hand it to stroke it flesh to flesh.

And that’s when we got kicked out the cinema, giggling away.

We got in his car and I said I wouldn't invite him in, I wanted to be very clear about that, but when we stopped I never got out. I sat there and he switched off the engine, looking at each other and started kissing again. He pulled down the zip on the back of my dress with one hand and with the other started pulling it up my legs, running his hands up them. I never stopped him. I opened my legs a little, feeling his fingers stroke the front of my underwear, but had just enough of awareness not to open them too far as he let my dress fall down, exposing my boobs.

Ok, I let my dress fall down by leaning forward, I wanted to give him access to them and took my bra off, but I knew I needed to take a bit more control and I took hold of his cock again, trying to take it out and I leant over and just went for it. I took him straight into my throat and his hand stopped trying to search under my dress.

He wasn't as big as Rich, maybe as thick, but he was now the second one I had in my mouth and I wanted to get him off quickly. It wasn’t just that I wanted to stop his hands, I was quite enjoying that, it was more that I was acutely aware I was parked outside my apartment block half naked with a cock in my throat.

He didn’t last very long, and after covering myself up, didn’t want to kiss me either. In fact, he became a bit distant almost and I realised that now he had got off, he had lost interest in me. I should have been annoyed but I really wasn’t. As I walked away from his car and to my building, I was kinda relieved he didn’t have my number. I thought about it on the way up in the lift, and yes, I really enjoyed the date, but the way he acted afterwards didn’t exactly make him seem like a nice guy anymore. He was still hot, and yes, given the chance I would jump him at the first opportunity, but beyond looking at him, he was kinda boring.

I took my phone and sent a quick text to Steph to let her know I was ok, saying ‘I took your advice.’ Three dots appeared followed by ‘?’ I smiled reading it, she had forgotten. As I walked into my flat I typed a message back, ‘Just home now, alone. He’s too boring and only nice to look at. So I didn't fuck him, just blew him to keep his hands away from me.’

She used every laughing emoji possible in reply.

On Monday at work, it didn’t take long before Luke came over to talk to Steph, talking to her quietly and then leaving, making her look angry. I asked if she was ok, and she told me that it could wait till lunchtime but she was very quiet till then. Turns out that Jamie was an absolute wanker! He wasn’t only telling people what happened in the car, he lied about what happened afterwards. Oh, and he took some photos on his phone of me deep throating him.

Steph said that Luke had managed to stop them being shared around and is pretty sure they were deleted, but he wanted to get a warning to Becca so she knew to stay away from Jamie. We were both annoyed about it, so Steph went into action telling people in return that not only did they not sleep together, that his dick was so small it was easy to swallow all and he came within seconds.

That made me feel a lot better, but out during the week with Steph, we bumped into Luke, or at least, that was what I thought at first as he wanted to say sorry for not warning me what he was like before he started chasing me. Luke was great, and he gave me a follow on insta, later slipping into my DMs to say hi, and hoped that it was ok to follow me.

He was quite a gentleman really, and over the evening I found myself reevaluating him having been blinded by Jamie’s good looks. Yes, he was handsome in a more rugged way, but he wasn't so full of himself for it, much more reserved and self deprecating in his humour. I found myself talking to him in my DMs a lot, not over the top and he wasn’t creepy in anyway, not even flirty, just chatting and it was really nice. When talking to Steph about it she told me this is what I should have been looking for, not just a fuck buddy or a hot guy for the physical side of things, someone who treated me like a woman.

Which is exactly what my therapist said as well when we talked about it, and she said I needed to think carefully about what I should do next, and like me she was sensing that I was coming close to making a decision about my future. The weeks seemed to fly by and there was so much running around in my mind that I barely noticed I got in the lift at work with Luke, nodding a hello and checking my phone, seeing a message from him that very morning. On insta he asked if I wanted to go out for a coffee with him, maybe even a drink sometime.

I was trying not to look across to him as I typed my reply. ‘I would like that, but not just yet. I have quite a lot going on that I don’t want to dump on you as that’s not fair, but one day, hopefully soon I would like that.’

The doors opened and I stepped out hitting send. Once I sat down at my desk I got a reply saying, “I completely understand and while I can’t promise I will wait, I will say that I hope that asking you out won’t stop us talking to each other.’

I sat there with a big smile, and Steph asked me what was up. I looked across and said, “Nothing, I just feel really happy today.”