Driftwood #8 - Facing Her Family

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Driftwood
Driftwood
By Alyssa Plant

Life and Love are far more complicated than we can possibly understand. For one young cop, a journey of self-discovery will teach them that true strength was inside them all along.

Chapter Ten - Mountain Air

As they descended over the mountains, Olivia felt a strange sense of calm wash over her despite the meeting she would have to face. The view of the wild landscape of Montana was breathtaking and it drew with it a powerful feeling of joy for the place she had left so long ago. That joy was darkened by the bad memories of her childhood.

Richard sensed her discomfort and took her hand in his as he joined her watching the view outside the window.

“Good to be home?”

She nodded, still staring out into the early morning glow that bathed the peaks and highlands below. “I think so. I’ve missed it, but it’s not all good memories. I don’t think I really realized how much I loved it here till I left.”

“A cowgirl at heart.” he chuckled. “I’m afraid I’m going to be very much out of my depth.”

Olivia shook her head and grinned. “You’ll do fine, Bozeman even has indoor bathrooms now.”

Richard gave her a look as though he wasn’t sure if she was kidding.

They touched down at Bozeman Yellowstone International shortly after nine that morning. The skies were clear and the sun was warm as they disembarked onto the tarmac.

Olivia closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sun and took a deep breath. The air was pungent with jet fuel and exhaust but it was her first breath of Montana air in over six years. It felt good to be back. The clear sky made her realize how normal the LA smog had become to her in her time away. After clearing the airport and collecting their luggage, Olivia collected the keys to their rental and the couple made their way toward the parking structure connected to the terminal. After a short walk, she pressed the fob and saw a pair of headlights flash in the gloom. She grinned and approached their rental for the week.

“Isn’t this a bit much?” Richard asked with a frown.

Olivia looked at the large black pickup, it was a new model Dodge Ram. “No honey, it’s not.”

“I’ve never driven a truck before.”

“Oh you’re not driving, city boy.” she laughed lifting her luggage into the bed. “This beauty is all mine, and I don’t need you tarnishing my nonexistent reputation by driving like a tourist.”

Richard shook his head and climbed up into the passenger seat with a little trepidation at the scale of the vehicle. Turning the key, Olivia felt the vibrations of the truck roll through her body. Switching on the radio, she picked a country station and pulled out of the bay.

“You’re really going to force me to listen to this, aren’t you?”

“Sure am, cowboy,” she drawled with a smirk. Richard grimaced as he started to realize what he was getting himself into.

They joined Interstate 90 south towards the city of Bozeman. Everything looked exactly as she remembered. The wide-open landscape dominated the sprawling city ahead of them. Bozeman wasn’t a small place by a long stretch. The city was home to just over a hundred thousand residents and more during tourist season. The world around it was just so darn big that it made man’s impact feel grossly insignificant.

They had booked a room at the Hilton Garden Inn just outside the city center. It was a little high-brow for Olivia’s taste, but she hadn’t wanted to throw Richard too far into the deep end. Before they arrived, Olivia pulled into a strip mall off the freeway and parked the truck. “Stay here.” she explained, “I’ll be right back.”

Hopping down, she headed for a country outfitter. She’d brought her boots with her to Los Angeles. For a native Montanan, they were almost a part of her religion, they couldn’t be parted with but she had left one item behind and it was something that had to be corrected.

Stepping into the store, she reveled in the scent of leather and old wood that permeated every surface of the establishment. Soft country music was playing on hidden speakers and people moved around examining various items. She made a beeline for a display of hats and found the item she was looking for almost straight away; a tan Stetson Skyline.

Placing the hat on her head she turned towards the mirror and examined her reflection. She certainly looked the part. The clothes were quite similar to things she’d worn growing up, but they fitted her entirely differently now. She was wearing a blue plaid shirt tucked into her bootcut jeans. Her boots, buckle and now the hat finished the look. This wasn’t the glamor of Mia Calafia, this wasn’t the male facade she’d worn growing up here, this was Olivia Evelyn Dalton.

“That suits you, ma’am.” a gravel-laden voice behind her announced.

Olivia turned to see an older rancher tip his hat in her direction.

She smiled politely. “Lost my old one a long time ago,” she explained. “I didn’t feel right buying one out in California.”

The man smiled. “Sure don’t.”

The man departed with a nod. Olivia smiled. People were exactly the way she remembered. The fact the man had spoken to her confirmed that he hadn’t seen a tourist when he looked at her. Feeling good about her choice, she removed the hat and made her way to the cashier, and paid for her purchase. Far poorer, she left the store and made her way back across the parking lot toward the waiting truck.

Hopping up into the cab, she backed out and set off for the hotel.

“I should get myself one of those.” Richard mused examining the hat that had been dumped in his lap.

“I don’t know if it would work with your suits.” Olivia teased.

They arrived at the hotel and checked into their suite shortly before eleven that morning. Olivia took the opportunity to rest on the luxurious king-sized bed for a while. She felt almost healed sometimes, but after a while, she ached and needed a break. It was frustrating, but a vast improvement from the previous months.

It was one in the afternoon when she was woken by her phone ringing. She picked it up and hit the accept button.

“Mm, yeah,” she mumbled sluggishly.

“I’m calling for Harry?” It was her mother.

“Uh, yeah,” she affirmed, letting her voice settle a bit lower.

“Are you ok? You sound a little strange?” his mother asked. “Did you get in ok?”

“Tired sorry. Yes w… I got in a few hours ago, I’m at the hotel now.”

“I don’t know why you needed to get a hotel,” her mother sounded mildly hurt but as though she understood. “I’d like to see you?”

Olivia thought for a moment. “Wild Joe’s for coffee, an hour?”

“I’m in town on some errands, so sure, that works.” his mother agreed somewhat skeptically as she began to notice a pattern of distance forming.

“Look, Mom,” Olivia began. “I just want to meet somewhere neutral and public this first time at least… things have changed a lot for me, and I’m still really uncertain about being here, It’s not all good memories. Just promise me one thing?”

“Anything?”

“Hear me out, ok?”

“I will, I’ll see you soon Harry.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Olivia ended the call and held the phone to her chest. This might be the last time she saw her mother. The idea of a permanent end to her relationship felt extremely painful despite how distant they’d become.

An hour later, Olivia was walking down the sidewalk of West Main Street towards Wild Joe’s Coffee Spot, a local institution in Bozeman. She hadn’t changed, she wanted to ease her mother into her surprise daughter. She had opened the neck of her shirt a little further to expose her white tank top and a small amount of décolletage just to drive the point home, however. She had left her breast forms behind on this trip opting only for a padded bra to emphasize her small but developing bust. While not significant, she wanted to make the change a little easier to accept.

She stepped into the coffee shop hesitantly, the smell of roasting beans was heavy in the warm air. Glancing around, she saw her mother sitting at a table on the far side of the establishment. She looked good, Olivia hadn’t realized just how much she had missed the woman.

Evelyn Dalton had always been a beautiful woman. She was five foot five, blonde, and shared the same fine Nordic features as Olivia. Seeing her now, she realized her mother looked much older and tired. She hadn’t seen her yet, and Olivia watched for a moment as she sat, nervously glancing around the room.

Realizing she had to move, Olivia approached the table where her mother sat and stood nervously before her. “Hey Mom.” she offered quietly, not hiding her voice.

Evelyn Dalton looked up at the young woman in front of her and seemed confused at first, her mouth opened as though she were about to speak, to tell this girl that she was mistaken when she froze and her eyes went wide.

“Harry?” she asked uncertainly.

Olivia sat slowly in the chair facing her mother. “I told you I’d changed a lot.”

Her mother stared at her silently, her eyes taking in every detail. Olivia felt her heart beating in her chest.

“Is that you?” the woman asked, slowly reaching out for Olivia’s hand on the table.

Olivia brushed her hair out of her eyes and nodded. “I didn’t really know how to explain this, Mom.”

Evelyn shook her head. “I never expected this at all. I guessed you might be gay, but this I never saw.”

“Growing up, I never fitted in,” Olivia explained. “I didn’t really want to do what the other boys did. I didn’t want to behave like them and then… I started to find them attractive, I thought I really was gay.”

Olivia paused for a moment. “When I left for college, I was putting this place in my rearview. I was leaving the pain, the bullying, and the rejection behind and I threw myself into my new life. I embraced who I thought I was but I never seemed to fit there either. I started doing drag when some friends introduced me to it and it became one of the few times I felt happy. It was when I felt like a whole person. Things ended up spiraling from there and I started to explore myself and when I got hurt, well it changed things for me quite significantly and I realized I had to do this, I had to be me.”

“What do you mean?”

“One of the bullets,” Olivia said softly, feeling a pang of pain as she relived the events that had torn her apart. “It damaged my genitals, I would never produce testosterone or have kids, and when they offered me shots to replace it I couldn’t do it. It felt wrong.”

Evelyn held her hands to her mouth as a tear ran down her cheek. “That you felt you had to go through that alone, I’m so sorry, we never knew.”

Olivia frowned. “I didn’t tell you,” she admitted. “I blamed you and Dad. Mark and Sarah didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Her mother sat dejectedly, tears forming in her eyes. “We tried baby… Your father and I, we thought you were such a gentle small boy, we thought the world would eat you alive.” she shook her head. “We thought the best thing we could do for you was let you fight your own battles, learn to be like your brother, and toughen up to find your own strength. By the time we realized what that had done to you, you had withdrawn into yourself and barely spoke to us… We failed you.”

Olivia realized she was crying too. “I thought you hated me for being who I was,” she admitted quietly. “I felt so alone. That school was hell, I had no friends and my own family just let it happen.”

Evelyn stared at her sadly. Her mother suddenly looked far older than her fifty years. “Now I see why you wanted to meet me here,” she sighed. “In case I rejected you or made a scene.”

Olivia couldn’t answer, she simply nodded.

Evelyn stood and rounded the table. She pulled Olivia to her feet and hugged her tightly. Olivia couldn’t hold back, she cried. She cried for her misery, she cried for her loneliness, and she cried for her soul. Every emotion flooded out of her eyes as she gripped her mother fiercely. Every ounce of fear and pain flowed freely.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there holding each other, but she finally felt love. She felt the connection she had dreamed of with her parents and the closure of a chapter in her life. A new one was beginning and she felt her heart sing with hope for the first time.

The two detangled themselves from one another and just stared into each other's eyes. It was the first time Olivia saw her mother as a woman, not a mother. She could see the pain in her eyes, the realization that she had made a mistake and she regretted it.

“I forgive you.” she said gently. “Mom, I love you.”

Evelyn smiled sadly. “I love you too Ha…” she frowned. “That doesn’t work does it?”

“Olivia Mom, Olivia Evelyn Dalton.”

Her mother smiled. “That’s a beautiful name for a daughter.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Olivia walked along the sidewalk with her mother. The pair had spoken for several hours in the coffee shop. Olivia eventually brought up Richard after her mother asked if there was anyone in her life. Naturally, Evelyn had asked to meet the man that stole her child’s heart. As they walked back to the hotel, Olivia reflected on her childhood and experiences. She had hated growing up, but she realized now that her own confusion and pain had been a major component of that experience. Her mother’s explanation helped her to come to terms with how they’d treated her, but she still wished it could have been so very different.

She could see her mother glancing in her direction as they walked. “Still hard to get your head around?”

Evelyn nodded. “It is, I won’t lie. I don’t think I expected it at all. In hindsight, I think it explains a lot of things dear.”

“And you’re ok with this? And me loving a man?”

Evelyn thought for a moment. “I’m so very blessed that you came back into my life after these years and we were able to talk and understand each other better.” she paused for a moment, “and to think that you nearly died in that awful city… How my child wishes to appear is less important in the grand scheme of things.”

Olivia seemed unconvinced.

“Is this a lot for me to get used to? Yes.” Evelyn admitted. “I don’t know how to deal with this, but what I do know is you’re here, and you’re alive. I will get used to everything else. For a daughter, a man is entirely normal… so there is that.”

Evelyn turned, taking her daughter’s shoulders as they arrived at the foyer of the Hilton. “For what it’s worth dear, you’re very pretty, I do love you.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Olivia smiled and hugged her mother. “You don’t know how much those words mean to me.”

Olivia had called ahead and by the time they reached the bar of the hotel, Richard was waiting for them. On seeing the two women, he stood and waited for them to approach.

“Mrs. Dalton.” He greeted the older woman, offering his hand. “A pleasure.”

Evelyn regarded Richard with a critical eye. He wasn’t a Montanan and his crisp suit betrayed his well heeled city life. His hair was neat and his facial hair was fashionably scruffy. He looked like the lawyer Olivia had described him as. The look of concern in his eyes for her daughter, however, told her all she needed to know: This man loved her, it was plain to see.

Richard took Olivia’s hand as he gave her a quick look which she returned wordlessly with a slight nod. Evelyn smiled at the exchange.

“So you’re the man that stole my child’s heart?” she replied as she took his hand.

“I’m glad to see things went well.” Richard observed with the hint of a smile. “I was trying to barter with a man to borrow his white horse but I remembered I can’t ride.”

Evelyn shook her head. “That will need to change if you want to marry my daughter.”

“Mom!” Olivia exclaimed, turning red. Perhaps there were sides to being a daughter that she was going to regret.

The group talked for an hour over drinks as they got to know each other better. Evelyn was growing to like Richard. He was sincere and honest and wielded a sharp wit. His care for her child was extremely evident. As she bade her farewells, Evelin suggested a proposal for the following day.

“I’ll speak to your father, brother, and sister tonight” she announced. I’ll do the groundwork, but you’re coming home tomorrow to see them yourself.”

“At once?” Olivia grimaced. “Isn’t that going to be a little much?”

Evelyn shook her head. “It will be fine, and it’s better to get it over with in one blow, dear. You’ve got me on your side, remember.”

“You can do it,” Richard affirmed. “I’ll be there in spirit.”

Evelyn nodded her approval. “You’re most welcome Mr. Knight, but you’re right, this first time needs to be just family.”

Evelyn left to return to the ranch promising to return the next day. Olivia followed Richard back up to their room. She hadn’t realized just how exhausted she was. They had left Los Angeles early that morning and the emotional strain of the day had taken its toll on her, body and spirit.

Olivia kicked off her boots and shimmied out of her jeans as she headed for the bathroom to remove her makeup. Once done, she returned to the bedroom in just her panties and tank top before falling face-first onto the bed in a heap.

“Attractive.” Richard chuckled as he carefully undressed by the side table. The only response he got was a neatly manicured middle finger.

“After the day I’ve had, I don’t give a fuck anymore,” Olivia muttered into the pillow.

“You did great, I’m so proud of you.”

“It’s far from over yet.” Olivia countered.

“But the first hurdle is always the hardest, you have one ally here, remember that.”

Olivia raised her head off the pillow and stuck her tongue out at Richard before faceplanting again.

“You’re such a child.” he chuckled.

Chapter Eleven - Homecoming

The next morning Olivia waited outside the foyer of the Hilton. She was more nervous than she had felt in her entire life. Her mother’s acceptance was a significant weight off her shoulders, but it had placed hope in her heart; hope she now feared would be dashed by the confrontation ahead.

She had dressed more femininely this morning as if she needed to prove a point to her family, especially the men. Dressing more like the average Montana ranch girl the day before had worked with her mother, but she hoped the groundwork had at least taken the sting out of the reception she would face. This morning was already warm and promised to only get hotter as August ravaged the land. She had dressed in a denim skirt, a white tank top, and a loose, open shirt along with her favorite boots. She felt comfortable, but she hoped it was more than girly enough to prove her womanhood to her family.

Her reverie was broken when her mother pulled into the driveway in her truck. Olivia felt happy seeing her, it reminded her she had at least one friend here at home now. The tricky part would be convincing three more. That made the task ahead harder yet. Winning her mother over had made this feel like home again, a feeling she now feared she might lose.

Olivia felt the apprehension grow as they drove along the highway toward her childhood home. Riding in her mom’s truck was bringing back memories of her teenage years. As she looked down at her bare legs and the skirt she was wearing. She felt as though she was time traveling in an alternate dimension where she had grown up a girl to begin with.

She was terrified of what she would face when they got to the Dalton Ranch. Part of her hoped and begged for acceptance, but realized more realistically the most she might hope for was a grudging tolerance. Would they shout? Scream? Would they hate her? She wasn’t sure what she would face, but she knew it would be a trial.

Evelyn looked across the cab at her child as they drove home. She recognized the look on her face. She thought of so many things she might say to comfort the girl but wasn’t sure what the right words might be. She was as out of her depth as the others and it was going to be a tough sell.

An hour outside of Bozeman they reached the ranch. It was just south of Livingstone at the head of Paradise Valley. Olivia felt a surge of emotion as they drove under the wooden archway that led down the drive toward the ranch house. Evelyn parked the truck and turned off the ignition.

“It’s now or never honey.” she prompted quietly. “Everyone should be inside.”

Olivia nodded wordlessly and fingered the strap of her bag nervously. She glanced around the familiar setting as though trying to drink in the sights for a final time before slipping down from the truck and waiting for her mother.

The two approached the front porch and made their way up to the door. Everything seemed like a dream to Olivia. Every sight and sound screamed of familiarity and memories but she knew it was far from the truth.

The door was opened as they approached and Olivia caught sight of her father for the first time in six years. The man looked older but he still had that familiar weatherworn look she always remembered. His dark hair was graying at the temples and he had the same neat mustache on his top lip. It twitched.

“Evelyn, Harry.” he greeted flatly, eying his child with uneasy skepticism.

Olivia hung her head and followed her parents into the family room where her siblings were milling around waiting for the difficult reunion to begin.

Everyone was looking at Olivia. She could feel their gazes burning into her as she stood there awkwardly beside her mother, the only bastion of safety she felt. Her older sister, Sarah, smiled weakly but remained distant, her brother, Mark, wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Let’s sit, shall we?” Evelyn stated in a tone that was far more obviously an order than a request.

Evelyn guided her to a sofa and sat beside her while the rest of her family maintained their distance.

“Why?” Her father asked bluntly. He wasn’t a man of many words at the best of times, she remembered, but he seemed especially curt today as though he was trying to resist the urge to say something different.

Olivia looked at her family and regretted it; directing her gaze to the floor, she began her explanation.

“Growing up was difficult for me, I never fitted in with anyone and I always felt like I was missing something important. I thought I was gay; that it was the great answer to my unhappiness and when I left for college I explored that part of myself… It was okay, I mean, It felt right, I was attracted to boys but there was more to it. I had no reference for how I felt…” she added glancing at each of them in turn.

“I knew how I felt, but I didn’t dare tell anyone here. If I had said a word, I’d have been hurt worse… I already got picked on and bullied like crazy for what they saw of me, they assumed I was gay, a fag, and a sissy. I didn’t know anyone like me, so I assumed that was what it was.”

Evelyn put her hand on Olivia’s back and rubbed gently.

“When I got to college, I was able to explore myself more and talk to other people like me. I got involved in a group at school and then later outside that. That’s, I guess, where I discovered drag and it felt different to me. Other guys wanted to be these silly parodies of women, to prance around and be a big joke but I felt more strongly that I wanted to be more feminine, more like them.” she admitted.

“So this is just some fucking faggot drag shit for you to prance around?” Mark snapped from his place behind the sofa his father and sister occupied. His face was dark.

“Mark.” their mother hissed.

Olivia shook her head. “No, it’s ok, I get how it looks,” she admitted. “No, It’s far more than that. Sure I dated some guys but it never felt right, not really.”

Olivia shook her head and sighed. “I started toning down the stage look for when I was leaving clubs and bars to a more normal girl so that nobody I knew from work would know it was me, that version became a safety net and she felt harder and harder to put away.”

“So you’re just embarrassed to be gay? Is that it?” Sarah asked, only slightly more gently than Mark.

Olivia frowned. “No, I was never embarrassed, but I guess it was what I told myself. I guess I just didn’t want it to end. Then…” she sighed. “I met a guy that was different. He saw me differently and treated me so differently from the others. I wasn’t expected to fill this role for him that I went along with for others and he wanted to see Mia… I mean my character, one day.”

“So a man wants my son to dress up as a woman for him? You’re doing all this because some man wants to hide his gayness?” Her father growled.

Olivia stood and faced her father. “No.” she barked with more force than she had intended. “He made me realize it’s ok to be who I am. That it was ok for me to feel this way, to be a girl. I wanted to be like this because it is me. I am a gir… woman.”

She paced the living room, her fists balled tightly as she attempted to swallow her temper. She looked at her family and saw the judgment they were casting her way. Her heart was breaking, not that she hadn’t expected it. She felt tears beginning to well in her eyes.

“This is who I am, who I always was. I didn’t see it for many years, not that any of you would let me.” she stated flatly. “I never came back here, never called, never told you about the shooting because I hated it here, I didn’t feel loved, or wanted, or safe. You all let me get the shit beaten out of me, you iced me out and claimed it was because you wanted to toughen me up, make a man out of me or find myself.” she snapped with air quotes.

“Guess what, I found myself, and I’m not ashamed of who I am.”

“Nor am I.” her mother offered, standing beside her child.

Olivia took her mother’s hand for strength as she stared at the others. “That scrawny sissy kid you all fucking hated became a cop. That cop spent the last few years helping people and trying to make a difference. I’ve fought more guys than you ever did back in school, Mark.” she added glaring at her older brother. “I got shot six fucking times stopping some asshole from killing a storekeeper and my colleagues. I’ll carry one of those bullets for the rest of my life.” she snapped, lifting her skirt slightly to show two of the angry scars on her right thigh to them. “Is that tough enough for you?”

Her brother rolled his eyes. “Kinda wish he’d killed you.”

Evelyn stormed over to her son and slapped him in the face so hard the big man staggered backward, a look of shock on his face.

“You will never say such things again about your sister you ungrateful, fucking asshole.” she growled coldly.

The family was shocked, Evelyn Dalton didn’t curse. She never cursed. She was a god-fearing rancher’s wife that never hurt a fly. The words cut through the room like a chainsaw.

Sarah approached Olivia cautiously, casting a death stare at her brother as she passed. Sarah Dalton was a tall girl, dwarfing Olivia by a couple of inches. She’d always been so beautiful, Olivia thought, so graceful and perfect. She remembered playing with her sister when she was little; the games and the tea parties. She’d always loved spending time with Sarah and hadn’t put two and two together until that moment as to why.

The older Dalton girl regarded the younger for a moment in silence. She remembered the time spent when they were both younger fondly, but she also remembered how Harry hadn’t really changed. He hadn’t matured as Mark had, or grown to like sports or girls and more manly pursuits. She had gone along with her parents and brother in their ‘hard reality’ approach to toughening him up; she had thought she was helping her little brother become strong. She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she looked at the young woman in front of her. The girl looked both angry and terrified at the same time and her heart melted. She remembered the games, the barrel race tournaments they had acted out with her toy horses, and their make-believe adventures. Harry had always been just another girl in those games, it had seemed so normal.

Sarah was a veterinarian. She worked around horses all day and she recognized that look of fight or flight in her sibling’s eyes, that mixture of anger and panic that was building to a crescendo.

Sarah took the girl into her arms and hugged her fiercely. She felt Olivia stiffen at first before her arms wrapped around her with a grip that never wanted to let go. She cried as she felt regret at her part in what she’d done to her sister.

“This is fucking stupid.” Mark groaned. “Now you’re just going to accept his fucking bullshit and welcome him back?”

Sarah glared at her brother, not taking her arms from around the sobbing girl. “I followed you all, and that was wrong of me. I didn’t think about her feelings and I won’t do it now.” she fired back.

“As Mom said, she nearly died, we nearly lost our sister and I won’t turn her away. If you can’t be a fucking grown-up get out of here.” she snarled.

Mark threw his hands up and stormed out without another word. Their mother called after him but he didn’t turn around. A short while later, they heard a truck engine roar and peel out of the yard.

James Dalton watched the scene before him unfold with a strange sense of detachment. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a more active part of this conversation, he simply didn’t know how. James was a rancher’s son, and a rancher himself; he knew cattle and he knew horses. Family was always something he’d tried to keep up with but thanked God for his Evelyn. She’d kept them together and made them function as a unit.

He looked at his youngest child, stood there looking so very feminine in his home. They were wrapped in their sister’s arms crying. To all the world, he looked like a girl he admitted to himself. He’d acted like one for sure when he was growing up. James had insisted they let Harry stand on his own feet when the bullying started in middle school. He knew how rough life could be for even the toughest men and he wouldn’t let his name or his children fall victim to it. Mark and Sarah had been strong, they’d known their direction in life and they’d been confident, smart kids. Harry however had never been like them. He was quiet, withdrawn, gentle, and small; James had been disappointed, he realized.

He saw the fire in his child’s eyes when they’d stood up for themselves against their brother and him. He’d seen that passion before, he realized. That determination, that force of will had never been present in the scrawny kid that had disappointed him so. James Dalton didn’t do emotion; he was a man’s man. He didn’t see that passion until he’d met his Evelyn so many years ago.

Looking now at the scene before him, he recognized that fire in his wife and daughter, and he saw it now in his youngest child too, he realized.

The Dalton girls had always been passionate creatures. They were strong in ways he could never be, and they were full of life and love. They were the glue that held this family together and they made him a better man for it.

Olivia pulled away from her sister, smiling weakly through her tears as she wiped her eyes, her makeup a mess. Her mind was in turmoil as she processed what had happened. She glanced over at her father, still sitting in the armchair, his expression an unreadable mask. She separated herself from Sarah and approached him slowly, her mind racing as she tried to read the stoic patriarch. She knelt beside the chair and placed her hand on his arm.

“Dad.”

James Dalton looked away and set his jaw. He couldn’t look at that expression. It was too familiar. That look of desperate hope would break him, he knew.

Olivia sat patiently, watching her father. She wished she knew what was going through his head but he was impossible to read.

“Dad, you wanted me to toughen up and be strong, you wanted me to be confident and independent. I know this isn’t how you expected it to turn out, but I finally found those things in myself. I’m not ashamed, but I am sorry.”

James Dalton looked at his youngest child. Her face was a mess of streaked makeup from her tears but her expression was one of quiet resolve. He didn’t see that runt of a kid inside the woman sitting there, pleading for his approval. He saw his Evie when she was younger. He saw Sarah. He now saw Olivia.

“Never apologize for who you are.” he said quietly, his stoic tone cracking slightly. He grimaced, fighting an unfamiliar and unwanted feeling that was creeping in. “I never raised you to be sorry for who you are, I raised you as a Dalton… I… My god, you’re so much like your mother.”

“Dad.” Olivia begged, her tears flowing again. “I’m not sorry for who I am, I’m sorry I wasn’t the son you wanted.”

That broke James Dalton. The iron man felt wetness in his eyes for the first time since the birth of his children. He stood without a word and took his daughter into his arms and hugged her tightly to his chest.

“God, you Dalton girls will be the death of me.” he sighed as his wife and eldest joined the embrace.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Olivia sat out on the porch of the ranch house watching the world pass by. The last two hours had been some of the most exhausting in her life. She had never hoped for acceptance, even after her mother had come to her side. Dreamed, perhaps, but she had never hoped. That only her brother Mark had rejected her was an incredible outcome. Mark… They had never seen eye to eye she knew, but she had hoped there might be a chance.

She heard a board creak behind her and her sister came into view. Sarah sat down beside her on the step and handed her a steaming cup of tea.

“Rough afternoon,” she observed without really looking over at her.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Olivia admitted, accepting the cup.

“You look good.”

Olivia smiled. “Thanks, shoulda seen me hobbling around the first month on crutches, it was bad.”

Sarah glanced at her sister and winced. “How bad? Like, no bullshit, tell me the truth.”

Olivia was quiet for a moment as she sipped the herbal tea. “I died twice.”

Sarah stopped and stared. “You died?”

“On the operating table, they obviously got me back.” Olivia chuckled darkly.

“What all happened? Medically, I mean?”

“Shattered femur from one bullet, one embedded in the right, two through and through flesh wounds, one ruptured my femoral artery, and the last one fragmented and shredded my testicles.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Sarah whistled. “I’m surprised you’re here.”

“Me too, it’s been rough.”

“That you thought you couldn’t talk to us,” Sarah said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“The one that ruined my genitals is why I ended up making the decision in the end,” Olivia admitted. “They were preparing to give me testosterone shots for the rest of my life and I couldn’t do it.”

“I can’t begin to imagine how you handled all of this,” Sarah admitted. “All your life, all of this, and having to face us too.”

Olivia stared out at the vast expanse of Montana in front of the house. “Richard,” she said simply.

“Richard?” her sister asked with a curious expression before realization hit her. “That’s the man you met, isn’t it? Tell me about him?”

“He’s sweet and caring and so utterly gorgeous, he makes me feel so damn special whenever I’m with him.”

“He sounds wonderful.”

“I love him,” Olivia admitted, facing her sister. “With all my heart.”

“Where is he now?”

“Still up in Bozeman.”

“Shit… he came home with you to face all this? That’s a man.” Sarah chuckled.

“I asked him to stay there today while I came here, I didn’t want to overload you guys or let him see or hear any of the horrible things I expected.”

Sarah put her arm around Olivia and hugged her to her side. “I’d love to meet the guy that stole my baby sister’s heart,” she said softly. “How long are you guys here?”

“End of the week,” Olivia said, resting her head on her sister’s shoulder. “I can’t tell you how nice this is.”

“Let’s go give Mom and Dad some space,” Sarah announced standing. “I’ll drive us into Bozeman and we can get dinner then I can meet this handsome guy.”

Saying their goodbyes to their parents, the two women climbed into Sarah’s SUV and headed for the city. The drive from the ranch was a lot more comfortable for Olivia. The worst of her fears now behind her, she was able to relax.

Sarah had gone into practice as a veterinarian with an old school friend and their business was doing well. She’d married her high school sweetheart who was now in the auction business. Overall, her life was going well. Olivia was happy for her sister. She knew they weren’t likely to be braiding each other’s hair any time soon, but she could feel their once-strong bond beginning to repair. It would take time, she realized, but there was hope for it yet.

Sarah parked in the lot at the Copper | Whiskey Bar & Grill, just off Main Street in Bozeman and the pair headed inside. According to Sarah, the Copper was one of the best places to get barbeque in the entire city and Olivia ought to re-immerse herself in the country lifestyle after her time away from home. Inside, soft country music was playing on the sound system and it was bustling with the late lunch crowd.

Olivia hadn’t been able to spend time in bars in Montana before she left. Not only had she been too young, but she had no friends that would even attempt the teen tradition of sneaking in. The atmosphere was casual and light-hearted and the bar’s wood panel interior gave it an old-time aesthetic that really felt timeless.

“They have nothing like this back in LA. They have attempted copies of country style, but not like this.” Olivia nodded appreciatively. “It really does feel good to be back, you know.”

Sarah grinned and waved to the barman so that they could order. “You can’t take Montana out of someone, no matter where they go.”

The two women were able to order drinks and grabbed a menu before heading to find a table somewhere out of the flow of customers.

“Sarah Dalton? As I live and breathe.” A voice called from behind Olivia. “Girl, you don’t hang out no more.”

A group of four men had made their way over from one of the pool tables. All four were dressed in various plaids and jeans, they looked like ranch hands.

“They work at the J,” Sarah explained, referencing one of the neighboring ranches.

The men seemed to be tipping the scale between tipsy and drunk. One of them, that looked slightly drunker than the others, leered disgustingly at Olivia.

“What’s your name, honey.” he slurred. “I ain’t seen you around before.”

“You seem a bit drunk, buddy,” Olivia replied flatly. “Probably time to head home.”

“Aw, sweetie I’m good, just gettin’ warmed up.” The man chuckled.

Sarah’s expression seemed a little pained as she glanced between the guys. Olivia sensed she’d read their intoxication the same way she had.

“You boys should head back to the ranch before you end up getting busted and Mr. Cane has to come to bail your sorry asses out.” she pointed out sternly.

The big drunk ran his fingers over Olivia’s cheek and she flinched and batted away his arm.

“Get off me.”

Mr. Sloshed put his hand on Olivia’s butt and squeezed. “Come on darlin’, come play a round with us, we’ll teach ya.”

Olivia gripped the man’s hand and twisted as she stood putting it behind his back. “No touching buddy.”

The man yelped and tried to resist, only making the pain of the hold worse and yelped louder.

The other three stepped forward as though they were about to get involved until Sarah stood up and glared at them. “Hands off her, She’s a Dalton, boys. No means no.”

“You don’t got a sister.” one of the men countered. “Just two brothers.”

The other stared at Olivia for a moment, his alcohol-addled brain processing images. “She looks a lot like her faggot brother from a ways back.”

The last man appeared to be the least drunk and he made the connection fastest of all of the group. “That’s Harry Dalton guys! Holy shit he gone had his dick cut off after all.”

Olivia’s mind raced, this was going downhill extremely quickly and she was out of her depth. She’d reacted like she was back home working and had no backup and her sister in proximity. These guys were big and far stronger than she was, she needed help fast.

Her moment of distraction was enough for the man she had in an arm lock to twist his hand free and lash backward with his elbow. The impact connected with Olivia’s cheek and sent her reeling, releasing his hand entirely.

Scrambling away over the floor she stood as quickly as possible and hunched forward in a fighting stance, her hand went for a baton that didn’t exist. She cursed herself as the man approached and threw a wild, well-telegraphed punch that missed entirely as she ducked underneath it. She countered with an uppercut and stepped through his haymaker.

Olivia’s heart hammered as she tried to maintain her space while the man attempted to strike her. She kept moving as quickly as possible and tried to use the man’s momentum against him. She couldn’t beat him in power so she had to use what she had; speed. Her injuries were almost healed, but she was far from peak condition and she was beginning to feel it. This couldn’t be a prolonged fight or she’d be dead. Making her mind up, she sidestepped a charge and kicked sharply at the side of the man’s knee as he blundered past using a dirty street trick.

She heard a loud crack and the man wailed and collapsed to the ground, his busted knee unable to support his weight.

She turned to face the others and felt a pang of fear as she saw two of them holding Sarah in their grasp as she struggled to get free. Sarah’s lip was bleeding and she was cursing up a storm.

Olivia didn’t hesitate, she reached behind her shirt and pulled her pistol from the holster inside her waistband, and pointed it at the forehead of the ringleader. “Let her go.” she growled.

The man’s eyes went wide and he dropped Sarah’s arm and threw his hands up. Sarah wasted no time in elbowing the moron in the groin. Before long, she was separated and rushed over to stand beside Olivia.

“Not one of you fucking move, you understand me?” Olivia ordered moving the barrel of the pistol between the men.

“Sarah, go tell the barman to call the cops.”

The older woman wiped the blood from her lip and stalked over to the bar. The barman already appeared to be dialing before she reached him.

Olivia reached down to her bag without taking her gun off the men and reached in for her badge.

She waved it around at the already assembled crowd of onlookers. “Deputy Sheriff.”

“You what?” the ringleader balked. “You ain’t.”

“Test me please.” she snarled, her temper blazing. “You aren’t faster than a bullet and with the three of you lugs it will be an easy case of self-defense.”

The men didn’t test her.

A few tense moments later, she heard sirens wailing outside the bar and several local officers came streaming into the bar. Waving her badge in their direction she pointed at the three standing and their writhing compatriot.

“These idiots assaulted my sister and I.”

“We got it from here ma’am.” the first to reach her nodded. “Turn around fellers.”

Olivia was dimly aware of a few of the crowd of patrons clapping as she finally relaxed. The four amigos were detained by the local cops and the girls were led outside to the street. An ambulance had to be called for Mr. Sloshed who had yet to stop yelling about his shattered knee.
The girls were kept to one side while the officers handled cleaning up the mess inside the bar.

An officer stood with them until their supervisor arrived a few moments later. The older man wore sergeant’s stripes and looked to be in his late forties. The man looked like any sergeant she knew; mildly annoyed to be there and already done with all of it.

The man relieved the officer stood with them and pulled out his notepad.

“Who you with?” he asked, gesturing at the badge she’d clipped to her shirt.

“Deputy Dalton Sir, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, I’m home visiting family,” Olivia explained.

“Those were some big dudes, you messed that big one up on your own?” he asked uncertainly.

“She did.” Sarah grinned past the gauze she was holding to her lip. “My sister is a badass.”

“Used his weight against him, sir. He wasn’t difficult to handle. I can’t use power to stop guys so I have to be quicker.” Olivia explained.

“Mighty impressive.” the sergeant agreed. “Pity you don’t work with us. Real firecracker if you don’t mind me saying.”

The man paused for a moment and cocked his head to one side. “Dalton?”

Olivia groaned internally. It was going to be one of those days.

“Yes sir.”

“Nothing.” the Sergeant shrugged. “I think I got my memory mixed up. You are sure you’re ok, aren’t you?” he added as he noticed Olivia massaging her thigh.

“She got shot in the line of duty a few months ago,” Sarah interjected. “Six times saving a man’s life.”

The Sergeant turned to Olivia with a look of shock. “Ma’am, is that true?”

Olivia nodded slightly. “Yeah, I can feel that’s going to be a story she keeps telling.”

“Oh, and this one too now,” Sarah added with a chuckle. “My kid sister just took down four of the J’s hands on her own.”

The Sergeant stuck his hand out to shake Olivia’s. “If you ever move home, give me a ring and I’ll put a word in for you with our Chief, Ma’am.”

“Thank you, Sergeant. No promises though.”

One of the idiots was yelling as they stuffed him into a cruiser. “That tranny bitch should be locked up. He came on to me!” The two officers handling him stuffed him into the car regardless.

The Sergeant glanced in the direction of the car then back at Olivia and raised his eyebrows. “Maybe I was thinking about the right Dalton earlier after all”

Olivia sighed. “Yes sir.”

The man grinned and patted Olivia’s shoulder. “My eldest girl’s gay, I don’t give a good goddamn. You be you, honey.”

Olivia smiled at the man and held her sister’s hand. “Thanks, I didn’t want a scene.”

“Y’all caused one,” the older sergeant chuckled. “Man I’m totally telling Heather about this, she’ll think it’s a hoot.”

The Sergeant thanked them both and left to coordinate his officers.

After statements and identities were confirmed, Olivia and Sarah were released by the Bozeman PD and decided that lunch really hadn’t been that important after all. Sarah had left to return back to the ranch to tell their parents, much to Olivia’s protests, and made her promise to come back home for dinner the next evening.

Olivia made the short walk back to the hotel to join Richard. Her day had been far more eventful than she had planned but strangely, she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“You did what?” Richard had gawked.

Richard had nearly lost it when he’d seen her bruised cheek. She’d called him from the ranch earlier in the day so he knew it hadn’t been her family that left the mark, but seeing her limping slightly and looking worse for wear had worried him greatly.

“Yeah,” Olivia stretched out her aching thighs against the bed. “My sister and I won a bar fight.”

“How?”

“Four drunk idiots are all muscle and no brain.” Olivia chuckled before going on to explain the events at the bar that afternoon.

Richard laughed and shook his head. “This place is the wild damn west.”

“Sure is sugar.” Olivia purred, climbing onto his lap with a look in her eye. “Come tell momma how awesome she is.”

Richard pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. He could feel her body melting into him as they sat there entwined on the edge of the bed. Olivia moaned softly into their kiss and pushed him back onto the bed. She pulled her top over her head and leaned down to kiss him again. Richard grabbed her bottom as they kissed and felt her grind against him. He reached up and unsnapped her bra before allowing her to shrug out of it and toss it aside.

Olivia gasped when he found her breasts and began to knead them gently. “I love you.” she whispered into his ear as she tugged at his waistband.

A short while later, Olivia rolled off Richard and lay panting in the bed.

“What the hell was that?” Richard asked, looking over at her. “That was new, not that I’m complaining.”

Olivia shrugged and giggled. “I don’t know. I just felt like being in charge for once.”

“You can do that anytime you want.”

“I guess I’ve had such a stressful day reacting to everyone’s crap and then the fight, I had so much pent-up energy.”

Olivia realized she had very much taken charge of their lovemaking. It wasn’t something she’d ever done before and it felt exhilarating. Richard made her feel wonderful and she’d felt such a strong desire for him at that moment she had gone with her emotions.

“I think you need to get in fights more often.” he grinned.

Olivia rolled over and looked at the man seriously. “Today has been more than I hoped and worse than I expected, but I think it might work out in the end and that scares me.”

“I get it.” Richard agreed, running his hand along her naked leg. “Your Mom accepted you and now you have most of them over to your side, it’s like you have something to lose now.”

“Yeah,” she admitted, snuggling into his hand. “Sarah thinks I’m kinda awesome now.”

“You are.” Richard smiled and kissed her deeply.

The couple spent the evening in bed together with only a break to order room service. She had giggled at the knowing look the bellhop had given them when he arrived with their food. Olivia felt more liberated than she had in her entire life. Here she was in her homeland with the love of her life and she had so little still standing in her way now. The future finally seemed bright and full of potential. She knew the road would be rocky, but she was no longer alone in traveling along it.

Comments are the lifeblood of authors. Please leave a comment with your thoughts/feelings and I'll answer! Let me know what you think!

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Comments

Not your average homecoming

While I understand taking pride in ones' identity, these country people take it to the level of arrogance. I mean Montana has less people than small cities in the East.

They are the minority in this country yet they think they have the superior culture, seeing non-country folk as 'weak'. *rolls eyes*

Montana is indeed beautiful, I've been there and Bozeman is laid out in a wide sprawling sea of farms and homes.

Yet Olivia still takes pride in such a culture who would gladly take away her right to exist.

I think she needs to reexamine this 'country love' thing. Until Montanans get more civilized in understanding that it is not all about them, I thinks she should stay clear, except to visit home.

At least the home visit went pretty well. You can't win them all but this was a glass way more than half full.

The encounter with those ranch hands may cause difficulties for her family though as this story will spread. The cultural outcry will not be pretty from those who expect her family to reject her if they are 'true' Montanans, or right-wing hoodlums etc

Anyway, Olivia will have to train even harder once back in LA. The loss of what T she had from here injury will only weaken her further.

This is a really great chapter.

Country life

Kit's picture

Live in the country is quite different to the city... does something to you. I was raised on a farm myself and honestly, when I came to the city for college falling asleep in the noise was difficult.

I wanted to embody that Montana 'different' vibe, that pride they seem to have... For Olivia, its another layer of Identity along with her gender, because way too often, trans fiction and trans people end up BECOMING their gender... it's everything to them.

For me, i wanted this character to be diversely human... where she's from matters to her, its part of her self... what she is... a cop, who she is, a comedian, a woman, a lover, a surfer.

I needed her to be more than just... female.

Is the culture conservative? yes, it makes for a wonderful contrast to the tone of the story so far... BUT, that isn't to say that anyone from these areas feels the same way, or can only feel one way. It is possible for change, and for broader views, and love is important.

As for her return... yes, she's different now, injury aside, but weaker doesn't mean she can't be just as or more effective.

I like Turtles.

“My sister is a badass.”

D. Eden's picture

I loved that line! And I am totally loving this story.

I wish that my family had been as accepting of me as Olivia’s has been. Of course, her brother is still a dickhead - but her mother and her sister were awesome. And her father…….. thank God I had tissues. Hat’s another line I loved, “Never apologize for who you are.” Yeah, at least one of the Dalton girls will be the death of me too, lol.

You have rapidly made it to the top of my favorite author list - thank you for sharing your talent with me.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Thank you!

Kit's picture

This was one of my favorite scenes to write, the whole Montana trip... it felt really important to clash the two worlds together and not have it end in tears and sadness... that family love might prevail somewhat.

The character of James was one I really enjoyed creating, this stoic man trying his best for his family, but who certainly struggles with things like this... he's not a BAD man, he's just... old fashioned, but nothing says that can't change.

I like Turtles.

She carried a gun

Angharad's picture

to see her family? Habit or what? Okay, it came in hand with the four drunks but really, no wonder so many Americans die from firearms use. Alas, western society seems to be falling to the men of violence, it can't be tolerated or civilisation will never happen. Good story, glad the family who matter are supportive, there's always one - usually male, dickhead.

Angharad

Pretty typical

Kit's picture

It's pretty typical for off-duty law enforcement to carry. The benefit is they are atleast trained well in their use and restraint.

In this case its a small and relatively irrelevant part of the tale, more just a fact of her job.

I like Turtles.

My middle son is an Investigator Sergeant……

D. Eden's picture

With a County Sheriff’s office in upstate NY. What many people don’t understand, is that he is required to carry his service firearm even when off duty - it is a Federal Law. The intent is that any officer of the law is armed at all times in the event they encounter a situation which requires the use of force, even when off duty and out of their jurisdiction.

He even has to declare it when flying.

Unless you live in this country, and know someone in law enforcement, you are probably not familiar with the practice.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Montana is a constitutional carry state

Beginning February 2021, Montana no longer requires a permit to carry a concealed weapon in public. She was totally legal to carry, even if she was not a cop.

And please don't bother to whine about this if you are anti-gun or 2nd Amendment.

I am a gun owner, and have a concealed carry permit…..

D. Eden's picture

But I do not agree with allowing anyone and everyone to carry. There are A LOT of people who should not be allowed to own a gun - let alone carry one.

If you disagree with that, then you need to spend some serious time thinking about your opinions.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Please leave politics out of this...

Kit's picture

Look, my comments aren't the place for a political discussion.

In this case, she's a cop, she has a gun even off duty, its normal. State law happens to match, but in this case doesn't matter as she's badge carrying law enforcement.

I like Turtles.

Cowboys and Heroes

SuziAuchentiber's picture

Sadly the polarisation of Politics in the US is driving folks towards the macho badass testosterone fuelled "aint nothin round here but steers and queers - and I can't see no horns" nonsense. Trump is all macho bluster and too many are inspired by that image. Those who stormed the Capitol on January 6 were carrying firearms, wearing quasi Military camouflage and chanting in a mob of dangerous aggression. Maybe if John Wayne had kept his birth name fewer guys would want to be cowboys and if Sly Stalone had worn pink boxing shorts and matching robe the nation would be less divided and stressed?! Wanna re-write the Constitution Alyssa, and make it kinder and more feminine -I think you'd make a great job of it because I'm lovin' your work !
Hugs & Kudos!

Suzi

Honestly...

Kit's picture

This story isn't about politics, it's about people. I'm trying to stay clear of that subject. It's not my place or my country.

There are problems right now, but it doesn't mean individual people can't be good still even in classically "Red" states. I like to think individuals are better than mobs.

I like Turtles.