Twins, part 9

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“I- I’m sorry, what?” Paul asked, confusion and anger seeping into his voice.

“I- I’m also transgender,” Lucy said firmly as her grip tightened on her brother’s hand. “For- that is, ever since- ever since we started university, I- I’ve been living as a girl. Going to classes, going to parties as- as a girl.”

“I- I- just… what?” Paul asked.

“Luke, what are you sa-“ Sarah asked, only for her child to interrupt her.

“It- it’s Lucy, now,” Lucy said, her body shuddering as she introduced her true self for the first time. “Since six months ago. My name is- is Lucy.”

“And- and mine is Luke,” Luke said, exchanging a smile with her sister as they shared yet another moment together. “Our professors, our friends at uni all know about it.”

“Is- is this some kind of joke, some kind of prank?” Paul asked Lucy. “Like, you hear your sis- your new brother admit to being transgender so you pretend to be as well?”

“There’s nothing to ‘admit’ to, it’s not a crime,” Lucy pleaded.

“I- I never said it was,” Paul said defensively.

“And it isn’t a joke or a prank,” Susie said quietly, sharing a smile with her two best friends. “This- this is true.”

“And how long have you known about this?” Sarah asked the ginger haired girl.

“Since the start of college,” Susie replied. “So, like, autumn 2017.”

“Since- how long have you hidden this from us!?” Paul exclaimed.

“’Hidden’?” Luke retorted.

“Well- not you, like, but him!” Paul said, pointing at Lucy as she began to squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

“’Her’,” Lucy said firmly. “My pronouns are ‘her’ and ‘she’.”

“Since when!?” Paul exclaimed.

“I- I just told you, since the start of university!” Lucy replied as tears started to form in her eyes. “How- how can you accept Luke but not me for doing the exact same thing?”

“Well- well it’s not the exact same thing, is it?” Paul asked. “And I’m not rejecting you, I’m just-“ Paul closed his eyes and moaned with frustration as he realised that he had no adequate way to finish his sentence.

“What your father is trying to say,” Sarah said hastily, before grimacing as she also struggled to finish her sentence.

“…Is that it’s easier to think about a girl becoming a boy than a boy becoming a girl?” Luke asked, earning an angry glare from both of his parents, though both Paul and Sarah quickly averted their gaze from his determined stare.

“You never gave us any hints,” Paul mumbled. “Your sis- you- your brother, I mean, sh- HE looks, you know…”

“I ‘look transgender’?” Luke asked, his anger levels rising.

“Well- well I’m sorry if that sounds insensitive, but yeah, ya do,” Paul said, before turning to Lucy. “But you, you look- well, ‘normal’.”

“’Normal’!?” Luke snapped.

“I- I mean, like-“ Paul stammered.

“Your father means that you haven’t, well, made any effort to, well, ‘present’ yourself,” Sarah explained to Lucy, who felt her tension levels rise along with her brother’s anger.

“Be- because I was scared to,” Lucy replied, silencing her parents. “I was afraid that if I told you- well, if I ‘told you’ that- that you’d hate me for it. Seems I was right.”

“No- ugh, no of course we don’t hate you,” Paul sighed as he slumped down into his chair. “We could never hate you no matter what you did. We- we’re just concerned for you, like, for your safety, and your health…”

“For my happiness as well?” Lucy asked. “Because I can tell you right now that I’m way, WAY happier living as Lucy at university than I ever was as ‘Luke’.”

“Same here, with the names reversed,” Luke said.

“And I know I don’t ‘pass’,” Lucy said as tears formed in her eyes. “But that shouldn’t matter, it’s what’s on the inside that should count. And on the inside, I- I feel like a girl. I have done for pretty much as far back as I can remember.”

“And I suppose you knew about all this too?” Paul asked Susie, making her flinch.

“I did, yep,” the flame-haired girl mumbled in reply, before taking a deep breath. “And every- everything they said, I can vouch for. I get to see every day just how much happier they both are than when they were at sixth form college.”

“I- well, okay,” Paul said, sighing heavily as he leaned back in his chair. “I think I’m gonna need a minute to, like, process all of this.”

“You didn’t need a minute for Luke,” Lucy snorted.

“Oh- believe me, we absolutely did, way more than just a minute in fact!” Paul scoffed.

“Your father and I have been agonising over this ever since Christmas,” Sarah explained as she struggled to control her emotions. “We’ve talked about it almost every day, wondering whether we’d done anything wrong, worrying how you might respond.”

“We were terrified that if we got it wrong, you’d end up hating us,” Paul said, his voice trembling.

“And we were scared that if we told us and you disapproved, that you’d hate us,” Lucy retorted, silencing both of her parents.

“…Honestly, I feel offended by that,” Paul said matter-of-factly. “Not by anything, anything that yas two have done, but at the thought that any parent could ever hate their child.”

“Or that any child should feel afraid of their parents,” Sarah said, causing her husband to close his eyes and frown.

“Nothing you’ve done is illegal,” Paul said, though to the twins, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of the truth than stating an objective fact. “Nothing you’ve done is immoral, at least not as far as I’m concerned. And yas are both adults, living your own lives. So if you’re telling me that the person I thought was my son is now my daughter- and, of course, the person I thought was my daughter is now my son- then I accept that.” Luke and Lucy both felt themselves decompress as the stress and anxiety of the situation started to leave their bodies. Their anxiety began to rise again, though, as they looked to their mother expectantly.

“Then- then I suppose I do too,” Sarah said, forcing a smile on her face as her children wept tears of relief. “But you need to understand that this isn’t going to be easy for you. For EITHER of you.”

“Yeah, after six months of uni we’ve kinda figured that one out already,” Luke snorted.

“But we’ve got friends who help us,” Lucy said. “Not ju- umm, no offence, Susie, but not just you, like.”

“None taken, I love being part of this ‘clique’,” Susie chuckled.

“So, this Gavin fella’s in this ‘clique’ as well, I take it?” Paul asked, sighing as his children nodded, before turning to Lucy with a look of concern on his face. “He’s not your boyfriend, is he?”

“Well- no,” Lucy replied bluntly. “Like I’ve already told you, he’s gay.”

“Aye, and?” Paul retorted, before grimacing. “…He isn’t likely to be interested in someone pos- umm, presenting themselves as a girl.” Lucy felt herself bristle at her father’s faux pas, but chose not to confront him over it, reasoning that he at least made an effort to address her correctly.

“Right,” Luke said, earning a look of concern from his father.

“He- he isn’t YOUR boyfriend, is he?” Paul asked.

“No, but what would it matter if he was?” Luke replied.

“Well, aren’t- aren’t ya trying to be a boy?” Paul asked.

“I’d like to think I’m more than just ‘trying’,” Luke snorted. “But gender identity doesn’t have anything to do with sexual orientation. Lots of trans guys still feel attracted to other men, so- yeah, I guess.”

“Well- fair enough, I guess,” Paul sighed, before leaning forward and letting out a tired moan. “Today has NOT gone the way I thought it would.”

“Kinda came as a surprise to both of us as well,” Luke said. “But, well, I guess we’re both still alive and not out on the street, so that’s a win, isn’t it?”

“I’d have hoped that a ‘win’ would be a lot more than just that,” Paul sighed.

“Well- aye, there is one more thing,” Lucy said. “That’s being able to live openly as the people we really are inside. THAT’s a win as far as I’m concerned.”

“Well- can’t argue with that, I guess,” Paul said. “But your mam was right when she said that it isn’t gonna be easy for either of you.”

“You- your grandparents wanted to come today,” Sarah explained, sending a chill down the twins' spines. “We told them it wouldn’t be safe- because of the virus, you understand, but really, we- we were concerned about how they’d react to you, Luc- Luke.”

“Well, if they did, then it’s their problem, isn’t it?” Luke angrily retorted.

“And ours,” Paul said firmly. “Do yas remember your eighth birthday? When they bought you that suit and that dress and yas came downstairs wearing it the wron- wearing it the other way round?”

“I’ve been trying hard to forget it,” Luke mumbled.

“We can hardly blame you for that,” Sarah said softly. “In hindsight, it SHOULD have been a ‘clue’, even if we did think it was just a phase or some silly game back then.”

“But the point is,” Paul continued, “I had to really, REALLY talk your granddad around back then. To get him to, like, apologise, realise it was just a game- well, you know what I mean, but, like- nothing, you know, ‘harmful’.”

“And by ‘harmful’ you mean ‘might cause someone born a boy to become a girl full time’, right?” Luke asked.

“Well- ‘harmful from his perspective’, then,” Paul corrected himself. “And he took a lot of convincing, believe me. If I’d done anything like that when I was a kid- well…” Luke and Lucy felt their cheeks flush as they remembered what their father had said earlier- that no child should ever have to be afraid of their parents. The twins both wondered whether their father was speaking hypothetically, or from experience...

“D- dad?” Lucy asked hesitantly.

“Don’t- ugh,” Paul sighed. “The important thing is that you’re happy, both of you.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy mumbled.

“Are you- are you seeing someone about this?” Sarah asked. “Like, a doctor or someone?”

“A counsellor, yeah,” Lucy replied.

“Who’s trying to help us, not ‘cure’ us of being transgender,” Luke said aggressively.

“Good,” Paul said. “When- when we, you know, looked into it for your sake, one of the things that came up was this ‘conversion therapy’ shit. And from what I read it didn’t seem any less awful than what your granddad might have done.”

“This may sound harsh,” Luke said, his usual bravado faltering, “but I wouldn’t shed any tears if I never saw him again.” Luke withered in his chair as his father glared angrily at him.

“Well I WOULD,” Paul growled. “O- old-fashioned or not, he’s still my dad, and I don’t want to be forced to choose between you and him. Though I- I guess the ball’s in his court when it comes to that. Heh, I guess I’m just going to have to get used to you wearing a dress whenever you come back round here, heh.” Lucy fidgeted in her seat as she suddenly became aware of the thick, heavy boy’s jeans she was wearing- something she’d been able to put to the back of her mind before her father reminded her of her attire.

“Y- yeah,” Lucy chuckled. “Though- though most days I normally wear, you know, leggings with a skirt over them… yeah.” Lucy tried not to cry as she saw her father fidget in his seat- despite him having said that he'd accepted her, she knew that there was a long and bumpy road ahead of them even before her grandparents got involved.

“Well- anyway,” Sarah said. “Despite everything that’s been said, it’s still your birthday today, so how about some cake?” Luke and Lucy exchanged a knowing glance, both knowing that their mother's use of the words 'despite everything that's been said' meant that the road ahead with their mother would be no smoother than with their father. However, they also both knew that the 'bumpiest' part of the journey was now behind them- and they had more than earned the right to celebrate.

“P- please,” Lucy mumbled.

“Sounds great,” Luke said at the same time as his sister, forcing a smile on his face even though he knew that his entire life had changed- and while he wanted to believe that it was for the best that his parents knew about his true self, he couldn’t say for certain that that was the case.

After a filling, home cooked meal and several slices of the rich chocolate cake that Sarah had made, the three teenagers were all tired and bloated, but gathered their energy as they readied themselves for their journey back to university. As the clock ticked over to 6pm, Luke, Lucy and Susie followed Paul out to his car, and soon they were headed back south toward Durham. For the first time since they started their studies, though, neither Luke nor Lucy felt the usual anxiety to get back to their new lives, thanks to the knowledge that they no longer had to 'hide' their true selves when back home.

“I just had a thought, actually,” Paul mused, attracting the attention of the three teenagers, all of whom had become engrossed in their phones. “L- Luke, right? You said you were playing football for the girls’ team at uni, but that can’t be the case, can it?”

“Well- erm, no, that’s right,” Luke mumbled. “I- umm, I actually play with the boys. Like, on the boys’ team. Against o- other boys.”

“…Is that safe?” Paul asked, not noticing the angry look that flashed across his son’s face.

“It’s not like I’m playing rugby, or bare fist fighting,” Luke grumbled. “And I play defensive midfield, so it’s not like everyone’s lining up to tackle me either. And I’m on the uni’s third team, not the first team, so it’s not like anyone gives a shit either way.”

“Okay, okay, I’m just concerned, that’s all,” Paul snorted. “You think I’d be a piss-poor dad for not accepting you for who you are, well the same goes for not looking out for you as well.”

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, averting his gaze to not let his father see his face flush with shame.

“And on that topic,” Paul continued, “I hope now that yas won’t be so anxious about coming home every weekend. Or whenever you feel like it, of course. Lucy- you wear what you want, honestly. As long as it’s decent and it’s not a Sunderland shirt, I honestly won’t mind. In fact, I’m looking forward to seeing yas both next weekend!”

“Umm, we- we don’t know if we’ll be free next weekend,” Lucy said. “I think Luke’s got, like, a training session, right?”

“Only if Boris says we do,” Luke shrugged. “Hell, he might not even let us go out at all.”

“I doubt it’ll get THAT bad,” Paul said, though the twins could tell from the solemnity of his voice that he didn't fully believe what he'd said. “Either way, I want yas both to know that you don’t need to be afraid anymore. You don’t EVER need to be afraid of me or your mam.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered. “And- and grandma and grandpa?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Paul said quietly. “But we’ll be on your side the whole time, I promise.”

“Thanks,” Luke said, a genuine smile spreading across his face as the car travelled onward. For months, Luke had grown to believe that his dorm in Durham was his only 'true' home- the only place where he could truly be himself. After the events of the weekend, though, Luke began to realise that he, and by extension, his sister, now had two places they could truly call home.

When they arrived back at their dorm, Lucy wasted no time in changing out of her boy’s jeans and hoodie into a clingy black long-sleeved top and a knee-length denim skirt. As she folded away her jeans, she felt a surprising pang of sadness as she realised that she no longer needed to keep the clothes, or any of her old boy’s clothes either. That chapter of her life was now behind her, and while she was excited at the prospect of living as a woman without compromise, she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about the excitement that becoming a girl brought her- and nervous at the fact that she felt like she’d passed a point of no return.

“Took you long enough!” Susie teased Lucy as the tall girl entered her brother’s dorm. “And looking good too, or at least better than last time I saw you!”

“Thanks,” Lucy said with a giggle as she elegantly sat down on the edge of Luke’s bed. “Today was… a lot less painful than I was expecting, heh.”

“You’re telling me!” Luke snorted. “I mean, for the first time ever I actually get something I want for my birthd- oh.” Luke bit his lip and blushed as he remembered that the same couldn't be said for his sister.

“...Nah, I don’t mind you saying it,” Lucy said softly. “And believe me, I was as excited as you were when dad brought out those ‘alternative’ presents. Even if- heh.”

“Even if you knew you weren’t going to get any yourself?” Luke asked softly, blinking back a tear as his sister nodded.

“But, like I said, it’s okay,” Lucy said with a smile. “It all worked out in the end. I mean, I’m sat here like this, aren’t I? And next weekend I could be sat at home like this. Well, covid permitting, anyway.”

“Aye,” Luke said softly, before turning to his and his sister’s friend. “And thank YOU for being there for us.”

“Wha- me?” Susie chuckled, before shaking her head. “Hardly feels like I did anything at all.”

“You were there, that’s plenty,” Lucy whispered, a wide grin spreading across her face. “I really don’t think either of us would be where we are right now if it wasn’t for your help.”

“Well, that’s just what friends are for, isn’t it?” Susie asked with a wide grin of her own.

“Totally,” Luke said as he shared a group hug with his sister and his friend.

Despite the excitement of the day leaving him feeling utterly exhausted, Luke found himself struggling to fall asleep that night. The thrill of being able to successfully come out to his parents was negated by the fact that his mother was right- he did still have a bumpy road ahead of him. As much as he wanted to celebrate, he still felt the niggling sensation that there was worse yet to come- though he couldn’t say whether that would come from his grandparents, or from the people like Barnes on the university football team, or from ‘external factors’ like covid or his studies. He and Lucy hadn’t even begun hormone treatments, and while coming out to his parents was a major 'obstacle' that was no longer in their way, and Luke was eager to begin taking testosterone, he knew from his research into HRT that there was no guarantee that it would change his body for the better. However, Luke took comfort from the fact that two of the most important people in his life had acknowledged that he was indeed a man- and better yet, that Lucy was indeed a woman. When Luke eventually fell asleep, that fact put a smile on his face that had been absent for a long time.

The twins woke up early the following morning and went about their morning routine as usual, but when they met up for their first lecture, both had wide grins on their faces and a renewed sense of enthusiasm.

“Morning!” Lucy said with a nervous giggle as she gave her brother a hug, before adjusting her short pleated skirt. “Still doesn’t seem real, does it?”

“Well… bits of it don’t, heh!” Luke chuckled. “Going to be a HELL of a call with Dr Adams this afternoon!”

“Too right,” Lucy said. “Hopefully mam or dad can join the call as well, like, so we can, you know, ‘prove it’.”

“Aye,” Luke said, biting his lip as he pondered his next question. “Have you- have you thought about, you know, hormones? Like, testosterone for me, I’m assuming oestrogen for you?” Luke felt his nerves increase as Lucy paused to consider her response- as desperate as he was to begin the treatments, he didn't want to go ahead with them if it meant leaving Lucy 'behind'.

“I’ve THOUGHT about it, aye,” Lucy replied. “And- I guess, I suppose. It’s just- ugh. We’ll talk after, or maybe even during the meeting with Dr Adams, okay?”

“Well- okay, I guess,” Luke said, trying to hide his disappointment at Lucy’s ambiguous answer as they headed into their lecture.

The lecture and associated seminars took up the entirety of the morning and early afternoon, and by the time they were finished, both Luke and Lucy’s minds were frazzled from the information they'd absorbed and the nerves of their upcoming meeting with their counsellor. However, both twins were determined to enter the meeting relaxed and with a positive mindset, and there was one place where they knew they would get that- and one group of people who would always help them in any way they could.

“Oh my god, that is so cool!” Claudia squeaked after the twins had finished relating to their friends the tale of their birthday. “I would hug you, but we’re apparently not supposed to do that anymore, heh.”

“I- I’ll accept, like, ‘virtual hugs’, heh!” Lucy chuckled. “And yes, you would not believe how much of a weight off my mind- off OUR minds it is. Like, we don’t have to hide anymore.” Except from our grandparents, Lucy thought to herself as she exchanged a knowing look with her brother.

“Are you doing anything to celebrate?” Kieran asked. “Like, a party or anything?”

“We literally just had a party on Saturday!” Luke reminded his friend, who giggled and blushed. “But I guess I wouldn’t say no to another one, heh. Depends on what our counsellor says today.”

“Depends on if Boris says anything today,” Susie mused, rolling her eyes at the jeers she inevitably received from her friends. “And I bought the last round, I’m not getting the next one!”

“You can get the first one tomorrow, then,” Lucy chuckled smugly. “Where’s Priya, anyway?”

“Going straight to her ballet class,” Claudia explained. “Couldn’t stop in here first as she’s not allowed to change in the changing rooms anymore, nobody is. And I’m not saying why as I’m skint until the end of the month!”

“Fair enough,” Luke shrugged. “And… ugh, never mind.”

“Umm, okay,” Lucy said, concerned by the sudden change in her brother's attitude. “Are- are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “I- I’m just thinking that as the locker rooms are, well, locked down, and the football team has to change in their rooms… Heh. Let’s just say I'm not shedding any tears about that.”

“Ugh,” Kieran spat. “Is Barnes STILL being a pain in the arse to you?”

“Not as bad as he has been,” Luke sighed. “Just the usual ‘jokes’, I think his last one was whether or not they’ll be getting a tampon machine in the boys’ locker room.”

“Hilarious,” Susie snorted sarcastically.

“Meh, I’ll live,” Luke shrugged. “One thing I’ve found over the last six months is that there are a lot more people with me than against me.”

“With US,” Lucy said, earning a warm smile from her brother. “So… Priya doesn’t like the idea of sitting around the bar in just a leotard and a pair of tights?”

“We are TOTALLY pranking her into doing that,” Claudia said, earning a loud laugh from everyone present at the table- with the twins laughing louder than anyone else.

After finishing their drinks, the twins made their excuses and headed back to Lucy’s room, where they mentally steeled themselves for their impending phone call.

“Hey,” Luke whispered as he noticed Lucy’s hands starting to shake. “You okay?”

“Y- yeah,” Lucy replied hesitantly. “I just- heh. A bit nervous, that’s all. I mean, god knows why, right? The hard part was yesterday, this is practically a formality…”

“I know what you mean,” Luke sighed. “It still, like, doesn’t feel 100% ‘real’, like, not long from now I could be taking testosterone, and a few months after that I might not need this stupid ‘squashy’ vest anymore, then after that I could have a passport that says ‘male’ on it… Ugh, I dunno. But, like, we’ve got to focus on the positives, right? I don’t have to pretend to be female at all for the rest of my life, not even for one second.”

“Exactly,” Lucy said. “Heh, and 12 months from now, I might end up needing to wear a bra, and having smoother skin… Heh. But it’s up to what Dr Adams says. We shouldn’t get our hopes up TOO high, but we HAVE been living full-time as, well, ‘us’ for six months, that has to count for something, surely?”

“You’d have thought so,” Luke said, taking a deep breath as his sister’s phone rang and the familiar number of their counsellor appeared on screen. “Well, showtime, then.” Lucy smiled and nodded, before pressing the button to answer the call.

“Good afternoon, Lucy,” the voice of Dr Adams said through the speakerphone. “Is Luke there too?”

“Aye, we’re both here,” Luke replied. “And I hope you got my last email?”

“I did indeed,” Dr Adams said, the twins smiling at the positivity in her voice. “We clearly have a lot to discuss today, but the most important thing is: how are you both feeling?”

“…Weird,” Lucy replied after a brief pause for thought. “Like, it’s a major relief that I’m, you know, ‘out’ out, but- but it’s like it didn’t solve as many problems as I’d hoped it would.”

“In what way?” Dr Adams asked.

“It’s like- well,” Lucy replied as she carefully pondered her words. “What I guess I’m thinking is ‘so now what?’. Like, my parents know about ‘Lucy’, but it hasn’t really changed anything, I’m still at uni, I’m still in the same body…”

“It’s understandable that you’d feel that way,” Dr Adams reassured the young woman. “Transitioning is a journey and can be a long one, and while the step you took yesterday was undoubtedly an important one, it’s also a very early one on the road to being the person you were meant to be.”

“I guess so,” Lucy shrugged.

“I kinda feel the same,” Luke said. “I mean, it was even set up for me, my- our parents ‘sussed’ me and decided the best thing was to unconditionally accept me. I mean, I should feel seven feet tall, but I- nothing’s changed, you know?” Luke bit his lip and averted his gaze from his sister, hoping that she didn't realise that her awkward coming out was the source of his awkwardness.

“Well, whether you realise it or not, you will have come out- pun not intended- of the weekend stronger than you were before,” Dr Adams said. “You have demonstrated again that you are genuine in your desire to live your lives as your true genders, and the question of ‘what next’ is indeed a valid one.”

“We were thinking about, you know, hormones,” Luke mumbled.

“Which is also understandable,” Dr Adams said. “It is, after all, the next logical step on your journey. However, while I feel you have met any and all ‘conditions’ that I would have liked, I still want to speak at length with both yourself and your parents before I write out a prescription. I should add, though, that the discussion with your parents is more of a formality than anything- you are, after all, both adults, so it’s not like you or I need to seek their permission. I do, however, need both of your consent to speak with them before I call them. Obviously if there’s anything you don’t want me to discuss, it won’t be brought up with them- this is just to get their perspective of the situation as the people who have known you the longest of all.”

“I’ve got no problem with you calling them,” Lucy replied instantly.

“Me- me either,” Luke said with slight trepidation in his voice.

“Okay then,” Dr Adams said. “I’ve allowed time to call them after we’ve spoken, unless you have any objections to them joining in this call?”

“No objections,” Lucy replied.

“Nope,” Luke mumbled.

“Okay then,” Dr Adams said. “I just need to put you on hold while I call them on the number you gave me, just a second…” Luke and Lucy both bit their lips nervously as the sound of easy-listening music filled the room.

“Why do I feel like we’re about to come out AGAIN?” Lucy mused.

“Why does it feel like that’s what it’ll feel like every time we have any contact with mum and dad?” Luke retorted, frowning as his sister had no reply for him. “Exactly.”

“Well, it- it’s early days, let’s give them a chance,” Lucy said, before her breath caught in her mouth as the hold music ended and a familiar voice filled the room.

“Hello?” Paul’s voice resonated through the room. “Luke? Lucy? Are yas there?”

“H- hi dad,” Luke said.

“Hi, dad,” Lucy said, smiling as she realised that her father would be expecting to hear a higher pitch to her voice. “Are- aren’t you at work today, then?”

“Nah, I’ve not been getting as many shifts thanks to covid,” Paul replied. “But I’d have taken this afternoon off anyway after your doctor contacted me.” Luke bristled at the use of the word ‘doctor’, feeling that it meant his father still saw his gender identity as an illness, but he held his tongue to allow his father and his counsellor to continue.

“Obviously I don’t need to introduce the three of you,” Dr Adams said in an ultimately futile attempt to lighten the mood. “Is there anything you’d like to say to each other before we begin?”

“Umm, nope,” Lucy replied.

“Nope,” Luke mumbled.

“…Okay,” Paul said. “I- I guess I’ll say something then, and that’s that your mam and I are proud of both of yas. We don’t say that enough and certainly didn’t say it enough yesterday. You’re both mature- certainly more mature than I was at your age, heh- and we couldn’t be happier that you’re both becoming your own people, whatever gender you choose to live as.”

“Thanks, dad,” Luke mumbled.

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered emotionally.

“That was very well put, Paul,” Dr Adams said. “From the email Luke sent me this morning, I understand that you were prepared when he came out to you and your wife, but that Lucy’s coming out came as a shock to you?”

“Aye, that pretty much sums it up,” Paul replied. “We’d noticed for a while that- well, Luke had been unhappy with, you know, ‘his’ life, and we bought her- him a dress at Christmas, and the way he reacted, we- we knew something wasn’t right. Luke had always been a bit of a tomboy, and- well, you see trans people in the news all the time nowadays, and in every walk of life, so we put two and two together and this time, we actually got, well, four.”

“I will speak to you more about your reaction to their coming out later this afternoon, when we speak privately,” Dr Adams said. “But Luke and Lucy have asked me to bring you into the call as there are other, more physical aspects of them transitioning that you may not be aware of, and this information is usually better coming from a medical professional.”

“Wha- we’re not talking surgery, are we?” Paul said with obvious concern in his voice.

“Not immediately,” Dr Adams replied. “But in the short-term, hormone replacement therapy is an option for Luke and Lucy.”

“That’s a bit sudden, isn’t it?” Paul asked.

“It’s been six months,” Luke replied. “How much longer should we wait? We’re both certain about this, dad.”

“And I would not consider prescribing this treatment unless I felt it was necessary,” Dr Adams said. “And that they were both ready for it. There are still a few reassurances I need before I write the prescription though, so we're not there yet, but we are certainly heading in that direction.”

“Well- it’s still a big change, you know?” Paul said with clear concern in his voice. “Don’t you need to think about this, you two?”

“We HAVE thought about this,” Luke replied firmly. “Some days it’s all I can think about. How long should we keep thinking about it, anyway? Until we change our minds?”

“Well- no, of course not,” Paul mumbled in reply. “But if you choose to do this, it- I’m worried about, you know, side-effects, consequences…”

“All of which I will help Luke and Lucy through,” Dr Adams said softly. “Mr. Miller, it’s important- especially to Luke and Lucy- that you understand that this is not a whim, or some kind of game. Transitioning is serious, I won’t deny that, but so is your children’s desire to transition. They understand the consequences, and I will make sure that they are aware of any and all side-effects associated with HRT.”

“I hope you’ll appreciate that from my perspective, this is all extremely sudden,” Paul said with an air of resignation in his voice. Lucy bit her lip as she realised that when her father said 'sudden', he wasn't referring to the twin that he and her mother had spent 3 months waiting to come out.

“And I hope you’ll appreciate that from our perspective, we’ve had a whole lifetime of this,” Luke said, biting his lip and frowning as his father remained silent.

“I will speak to you in more detail about this later,” Dr Adams said softly. “But thank you for coming on the call today, Mr. Miller.”

“You’re welcome,” Paul mumbled. “Luke, Lucy- I’ll see you two next weekend, okay?”

“Okay,” the twins whispered, frowning as their father ended the call with a sigh.

“Well, that went about as well as expected,” Lucy sighed.

“It’s pretty clear he’s been taken by surprise by your announcement yesterday,” Dr Adams said calmly. “I’m sure that given time, he will adapt to the ‘new normal’.”

“He was surprised by MY announcement, at least,” Lucy snorted. “You could literally hear him cringe when I spoke for the first time.” Lucy’s frown deepened, but softened when her brother put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Time will make things easier for all of you,” Dr Adams advised. “I’ve dealt with far too many transgender people who are simply abandoned by their parents the second they come out. And while I don’t deny that the call could have gone better, you at least have a good foundation on which to start building a new relationship with your parents.”

“But not grandparents,” Lucy mumbled.

“One step at a time,” Dr Adams advised. “But regardless of what your parents or grandparents think, they can’t prevent you from becoming the people you truly are inside. And if you wish to begin hormone replacement treatments, then I’m happy to start you on that path.”

“Definitely,” Lucy said confidently.

“100%,” Luke concurred, his excitement levels rising as the call continued.

After the call had ended, the twins had a plan of action set out in their minds. They would return to see their parents the following weekend, but as their true selves for the first time. They would make their parents understand the situation, then have their support as they tried to come out to their grandparents. A short while later, they would begin their hormone replacement treatments, and from there, their lives would only get better.

However, later that night, their lives- along with the lives of everyone in the country- would be turned upside down as they sat down in front of their television at precisely 8:30pm.

"Good evening," the prime minister said with a serious look on his face. "The coronavirus is the biggest threat this country has faced for decades– and this country is not alone. All over the world we are seeing the devastating impact of this invisible killer." The twins listened intently as the blond-haired man continued his speech, before their hearts- and the hearts of millions around the country- sank as they heard the words they'd dreaded to hear for weeks.

"From this evening," the prime minister said, "I must give the British people a very simple instruction- you must stay at home."

“…So now what?” Lucy asked.

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Comments

Well, there's no going back now

The cat's out of the bag... but everyone else is now stuck indoors. As 2020 came around and I was still writing chapters set in 2018, I was faced with a pretty big dilemma. Do I acknowledge the pandemic in my writing, or (somehow) write around it? In the end, as I like to keep my stories grounded in reality, there was only one choice I could make. Writing a story set in 2020 without acknowledging the pandemic would be a bit like writing a story set in London in 1940 and ignoring the Blitz- in a way, it'd be even more offensive somehow. So, this is the world the Jamieverse finds itself in. For now. But not forever. :-)

Upcoming chapters can be found in the usual place. It's a bit light on the ground right now, admittedly, but I'll be adding extra chapters onto there over the course of the next few weeks. Assuming it doesn't take too long to repair my PC, anyway. :-/

Debs xxxx

So Does Home Mean...

...with their parents or in their rooms at the university? There won't be any in-person classes, of course, but are they allowed -- or forced -- to move back to their parents' home?

Eric

Choice was made the day of their marriage

Jamie Lee's picture

When the twins came out to their parents, they also mentioned Paul's parents, causing Paul to tell them he wanted to keep seeing his parents. He also mentioned making a choice between the twins and his parents. If that is a problem for him, then he should have stayed single.

The minute Paul and Sarah got married, his choice was with Sarah, not his parents. The minute Sarah became pregnant, he chose his children over his parents.

His family must come first in his relationships, it was the choice he made the minute he married and started a family. His parents are so staunch in their beliefs, they have no ability to see things from another's perspective. Their world is only black and white, without any gray whatsoever. And they won't be able to accept Lucie and Luc because of it.

Others have feelings too.