You have a spare Bra?

There’s times you get caught out – and there’s times you put yourself into a deep steaming pile of poo.
This was one of the second sort.

We’d just arrived at our holiday cottage …. and my wife was unpacking.

“Oh, bother. I’ve left my spare bra behind. Fortunately we’re only here for a long weekend – but it’s a bit of a nuisance.”

I raised an enquiring grunt.

“Well. This one’s already a bit grubby from being worn yesterday and for the journey.”

I began to speak and then converted it into another grunt.

“Were you about to say something?”

“Erm, no, not really.”

“I’ll ask this just once – and right now I don’t know what my reaction is going to be. Fair warning eh?”

“Erm, yes.”

“Are or were you about to say that YOU had a spare bra? That you’ve been dressing again? That you have a -what’s-it-called – a ‘stash’ here for your ‘breaks’ at the cottage?”

There was a silence …. Neither of us spoke for some moments.

“Well, say something, Terry.”

“In no particular order. I don’t come here in order to dress up. I have come here and dressed up – but it’s not recent and it was never often. But I do have a couple of things tidied away …. And the bra might fit you.”

“Is it washed?”

“Of course it is. I may be unusual – but I still don’t like dirt. On me or on my things.”

Pause

“So when was the last time you got dressed down here, mmm?”

“Probably about a year ago now.”

“I suppose that’s not often or frequent. Do you have any idea why?”

“Which ‘why’? Why did I dress then? Why did I ever dress? Why am I who I am? You know I don’t have much of an answer for anything of that sort. I’ve dressed because I’m annoyed. I’ve dressed because I saw an attractive woman in a dress I liked. I’ve dressed because I felt like it. Why I started – no answer. But I do have a bra that might fit you – are you at all interested?”

“I’m not happy you keep dressing. But I have to accept that you’re doing it less. And that does make me a bit happier. But when I’m not all stressed out about YOU in a dress, how happy are you at ME being not very happy that you do wear a dress? Did that make sense?"

Pause

“When do we move from let’s only do things that make us happy to let’s avoid doing things that make the other partner unhappy.”

Pause

“Terry, that’s not a nice thing to have to hear. Truly, are we doing unhappiness-avoidance or happiness-delivery? I know which we ought to be preferring. Is the not-dressing actually making you unhappy?”

“Being able to dress now and again – I’d like that. And I can cope with quite a lot of constraints or whatever. I try or tried not to dress except when I’m alone – although you’ve noticed more than a few times over the years. I think, or hope at least, that Dinah and Charity have not noticed. But I’d like to be able to say ‘that’s a pretty dress or a pretty skirt, blouse, whatever’ without having my head bitten off.”

“Do I bite?”

“Well, not much, because I try really hard not to give you the opportunity.”

“Are we both trying so hard to be thoughtful of the other that we’re … I dunno, … being too hard on both them and ourselves.”

“Can you say that again so it makes sense.”

“Maybe. How about …. Let’s take a break from how we’ve been behaving and aim to be nicer?”

“And?”

“Who’s going to make the first step? If it’s you how are you going to be nicer to yourself and how are you going to be nicer to me? And what about ‘them’ out there that, on occasion, you might be critical about?”

“Terry, don’t over-react to this ….. what if I said you can talk to me about dresses and so on. You can ask questions, make suggestions, and for my part I will try really hard to treat this as girl-talk. Would that help?”

“It’s worth a try.”

“So, not that we’re out and about looking at women in town …. I’m taking a deep breath here …. have you got a bra I can borrow?”

“Truly I can say ‘I thought you’d never ask’.”