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The next story came from a young man about 25. He wore a dress and heels, showing a nice pair of legs. But everything else shouted male, his voice with monotone delivery, his walk and mannerisms, his cheap brunette wig. Even his red lipstick did more to emphasise his 1 o’clock shadow than to feminize him. Few would mistake him for a her.

“Hi girls, it’s been a pleasure getting to know all of you through your stories. My name is Rose White, and as you can see I’m much less accomplished in appearing as a woman than you. I am recently married, and haven’t told my wife.”

“You really should let her know. It is a hard secret to keep. And if she finds out on her own, you may never be able to regain her trust.” Cis told her.

“I was hoping to get some guidance on how to do that at this conference.” was the reply.

“Cindy and I will meet with you later. Why don’t you continue with your story.” stated Cis.

“Ah, growing up I think I was a normal boy. I played with cars and trucks and construction sets. I had a brother two years younger, and we were each other's playmates. As we got older we competed at everything. We played baseball, football, basketball, soccer and all. I wasn’t great at any of them, but I wasn’t the worst.”

“How does this tie in to Rose?” interrupted a voice from over by the bar, from someone who had been sulking around but had not introduced themself.

“Well when I started high school, the school was on split shifts due to overcrowding. Juniors and seniors went from 8 to noon or 1 so they could work after school. And freshmen and sophomores. Went from 11 or noon to 4. So I had mornings home alone. I experimented with my mother's clothes, and enjoyed them.”

“It doesn’t look like you have progressed from there." came from the same voice.

The group shouted her down, “Let her tell her story.”

Rose continued, “My sophomore year they opened a new high school. My opportunity to wear women’s clothes disappeared but the desire didn’t. I would imagine myself to be a sexy woman while masturbating. I researched transvestism, transgenderism, and drag queens. I was shy and didn’t date till college, but was attracted to women. It wasn’t until I got a job and my own apartment that I started to get my own women’s clothes. It progressed to where I often spent evenings home alone in a camisole panties, nylons and heels.”

Same voice interrupted again, “That’s a long way from here.”

Which brought on a chorus of, “Let her tell her story.”

Rose continued, “I formed a friendship with a girl at work. We started eating lunch together. Then we went to a few movies and restaurants together. Finally I asked her if she would like to try converting the friendship to a romance. She replied in the affirmative and we worked our way around the bases until I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.”

“I hoped marriage would cure my urges, I disposed of all my women’s things. But instead of going away the urge got stronger. The more I tried to forget it, the more compulsive the thoughts got.”

“When I saw this Conference nearby, I decided to come to see if I could get help and advice.
When the pre-registration asked for a femme name, I didn’t have one. I chose Rose after my maternal grandmother.”

“I came here as Robert. At registration they asked when I was changing. I said I wasn’t. They said that was fine, but I would be the only one not en-femme. They also told me I was invited to a gathering of the Roses. I felt Robert wouldn’t be welcome there and my curiosity drove me to a quick shopping trip and this rushed attempt at transformation in the handicapped restroom.”

After a pause, Rosie gently asked, “Do you have more to tell?”

“No, that's pretty much my whole story. I came here hoping to get help and advice on how best to tell my wife.” replied Rose White.

“You have pretty much missed the boat on the best way. You should have told her before getting married. Now you will have to confess to hiding something from her, that she should have been informed of.” Stated Cis.

“Take it easy on her. She is just discovering how much a part of her, this is, and that it is unlikely to go away.” said Rosie.

“You still have a lot of self discovery to do. How you regard your crossdressing and handle it will evolve over time. So let her know you are just discovering how important this is to you, and how you want her to take part in deciding how to fit it into your lives together. But embrace your femme side as on opportunity to exhibit some of your better characteristics, that are inhibited by a male social role. And don’t feel guilty about it.” advised Rose Williams.

“Yeah, she’ll have questions, like ‘Are you gay?’ and ‘Do you want to be a woman?’ I assume the answer is no to both since you married her.” Came from Rose Marie.

“Good point, there are at least two studies that I’m aware of that helps answer those questions. One by Dr. Virginia Prince in the early 60s and another by Dr. Richard Doctor in the early 80s. Both point out that the incidence of homosexuality among cross-dressers is slightly lower than in the general population. Kinsey reported about 4.5 percent in the general population while both Doctors Prince and Doctor report about 4 percent.” explained Rosie.

“If she isn’t willing to accept this part of you, you should get rid of her as fast as you can.” came from the voice at the bar.

“Neither of you should be too quick to reject the other. All marriages face difficulties, You need to work through them together. It seems you love your wife and want to keep her. It was very brave of you to come here, looking for help.” stated Cis.

“I do love her, and don’t want to lose her”. Stated Rose White.

“If you would like Cindy and I will meet you and your wife at the Starbucks across the street at 2:00 Sunday after the conference breaks up, and try to help.” Said Cis.

“Oh, thank you, I would really appreciate that!” exclaimed Rose White.

“OK, I’ll give you my phone number, in case you can’t convince her to come.”

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If you are interested in the meeting of Rose and Cindy with Robert and his wife, see my follow up story "A Different Way To Tell Your Spouse"

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Comments

Love roses

Podracer's picture

Hi Cheryl, I enjoyed both of the parts that you had in the Roses.
The link to "Different way" needs a tweak though, A different way to tell your spouse as it had some extra characters in it

"Reach for the sun."

A big step for Rose

It must have taken a lot of nerve for Robert to attend the conference. Especially as Rose, and to speak to the gathered girls about his situation.
The critical voice from the bar is rather unusual as such gatherings are usually very supportive. Especially to newcomers. I wonder if there is more to be told about the heckler?
It is a refreshing change to find a story on BC which is closer to real life.

So often the case...

Andrea Lena's picture

“Take it easy on her. She is just discovering how much a part of her, this is, and that it is unlikely to go away.” said Rosie. For a lot of us, our discovery of our identity has been a process rather than an event. And even for those who have known 'all along,' some have 'withheld' this part of us because of understandable fears and even doubts. Thank you for providing yet another example of how diverse and wondrous our community is.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Bad link

My link to "A different way to tell your Spouse" isn't working. Until I get it fixed you can use the list of my stories on the right side of the page, or if you are lucky the link in more like this that follows.

Hugs Cheryl

Bad link

My link to "A different way to tell your Spouse" isn't working. Until I get it fixed you can use the list of my stories on the right side of the page, or if you are lucky the link in more like this that follows.

Hugs Cheryl

I Sympathize with Rose It can

Rose's picture

I Sympathize with Rose It can be very hand to tell those you love.

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Hugs!
Rosemary

I told my wife in 1968 / 69.

I told her in 1968 after I had been dating her for about four months. (IT WAS NOT EASY.) She was curious to know in University, why I didn't seem to have circle of friends and she asked me why I was such a loner. She was also curious to know why I was not constantly pestering her for sex, like most college boys.

(Those who've read my bio will know why.)

Finally I slumped onto the settee in my flat (apartment) and confessed I was a transvestite. I wasn't even aware of transgenderism back then despite my having 'flip-flop' male-female brain interludes..

She was so naieve she didn't even know that transvestites or transgendered people existed. It was another seven years before we finally tied the knot and we stayed together until 2014 when she died of brain cancer.

bev_1.jpg

lol. I was born in 1969, but

Rose's picture

lol. I was born in 1969, but I too told my wife before we married. This May will be 30 years for us. We've had lots of ups and downs, but we're quite solid now.

I haven't read your bio, Beverly, but am going to.

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Hugs!
Rosemary

Thanks, Bev

Thank you Beverley. All comments are appreciated, but especially when they reinforce the message of the story. Telling your significant other is not only the right thing to do, it is one of the best things you can do for the relationship. I told my wife (deceased, ovarian cancer) before we were married. She became a valued confidant and militant supporter. At least from my side, it greatly strengthened out marriage.

Hugs, Cheryl

Link fixed

With help from Patricia Marie Allen the link to "A different way to tell your spouse" has been fixed and tested.

Link fixed

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