Brotherly Love –

This is my miracle Christmas tale. I have heard so many over the years. I truly enjoy hearing the one about the boy who wants a BB gun and nearly shoots his eye out because he miraculously gets the gun for Christmas. It wouldn’t be Christmas without it on television again and again for twenty four hours. And then there is the unbelievably fanciful story about the miracle of the real Santa Claus being a department store Santa helping a little fatherless girl believe. To be sure, the visits by the three timely ghosts are a classic too that rips at our heart strings because of its miracle of redemption and change. And, of course, the very important true story about that singular little babe in a manger whose miraculous life brings us miracle after miracle forever in redeemed lives. There are so many stories we enjoy hearing time and time again when the season is upon us wishing for more miracles to change lives.

Like everyone, I have had my seen my shares of miracles and tragedies in my life. But, the Christmas miracle I first shared with the pretty woman who would be my future wife, mother of our three children, and my best friend in the whole universe is in my mind, the one I think of first when it comes to Christmas.

My miraculous Christmas story started out when my girlfriend, future wife, Nadine, and I were sitting on my front porch swing. She was then and is now drop dead gorgeous, smart as a whip, and has the heart the size of the whole planet for others. Nadine is just a couple of months younger than I. The miracle of how I landed her at fifteen as a girlfriend alone could be a miracle story too, I will never fully understand, although she blames her grandmother whose advice has guided her through life. Personally, I know she could have the pick of the whole senior or junior class, especially those with a driver’s license and a smoking car so she wouldn’t have to ride the stupid old school bus with me. Yet, over a year and a half, after she moved in down the street from me, she let me think I caught her. And I intend on never letting a bride as awesome as her go. But, she isn’t my Christmas miracle. Valentine’s Day miracle, yes. Christmas miracle, no.

Yet, the first time I saw Nadine was at our bus stop for junior high school was at the root of my Christmas miracle. I was there early as usual. I always was. And for good reason since I watched over my younger brother before he got on his bus for elementary school. I did this to keep bullies away from him. Then, as was my habit, I would sit back down and wait for mine to come rather than walking back the block or so home and back to the bus stop again. It wasn’t laziness. Most of the time, unless it was raining or snowing, I studied for some class or read a book. It gave me time to myself that I lacked at home and at school. Somehow, the morning we first met, when she saw me down at the corner waiting for our bus, she panicked and raced down to wait for the bus assuming she might miss it if I was there that early. As she stood there panting from running, I told her I was dreadfully sorry. I explained that I watched over my brother and then waited for the later bus for our school.

She told me later that she impressed that I wouldn’t complain about waiting twenty minutes for our pickup after waiting with him for his bus to pick him up. For some reason she stayed that first day even though her house was right next to our bus stop. While waiting with me that morning, she asked me loads of questions about our junior high school. Back then, she was more than a few inches taller than I was. Puberty had just come upon me earnestly, so I was out of the starting gate of my main growth spurt. Frankly, I don’t know if I was smitten back then by her beauty because I was just learning that girls were something to be desired, although I am now obviously, but I certainly enjoyed her sweet delightful company that morning. I honestly gave her the 411 on how the cafeteria food was, who the good and bad teachers were, and the political landscape of student life at school. I discussed what got you into trouble and what didn’t. It was then that the McCaffery twins showed up and ogled her. They were such jerks.

Over the next year, we started to do things together. We would go for bike rides or swim at the local pool. Almost always, it was with my younger brother in tow. It was a surprise to me after we started high school when I found she would choose to spend time with me over some other guy who wanted to date her. Finally, braced by familiarity more than courage, I asked her to the school’s spring dance and that is when I started getting serious about her too. By that time, I had grown quite a bit on my way to my final five foot eleven height as an adult and was an inch or so taller than her. But, it hasn’t change how I look at her. I think I will always look up to her. I tell her that too as well as our kids.

Well, there were secrets I didn’t share with her in the beginning. And, one fateful day, she had finally cornered me about why I was so protective of my young brother Harry. No one in the neighborhood knew why since the event that happened to change his life forever happened far away from our suburb of Oklahoma City. They just knew I was his protector. She wanted to know the real truth about why. My family was gone doing some Thanksgiving shopping and I was working in the front yard getting it ready for Christmas. It was just us …

As we sat on our porch swing, Nadine pleaded with me earnestly. “Please tell me Harry’s story, Frank.” She held my hand. I looked out over our porch railing and took a deep breath.

I said with tears in my eyes and fear in my voice, “You sure? You can never repeat it to anyone. If you do, you could hurt my little brother. The bullies would seek him out for sure. He could lose his court settlement and so much more.”

By the serious look on her face, I knew she understood what I was saying was true and that I was being serious. “I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.” She made a sign across her chest affirming her commitment. Something about her attitude about us told me I could trust her. Dating her for nearly a year, it was clear we were meant for each other. And, I was tired of bottling it up inside. She stroked my face. “You need to tell someone, don’t you?”

I began to cry a little. It was taxing my soul. I shook my head no for a moment and then gazed into her eyes. “Yeah. Okay. I guess I do.” I sobbed a little more before I started. She hugged me realizing, I guess, that she had touched my raw nerve as gently as she could.

“I didn’t actually witness the “event” as my folks call it. It all began when my folks had taken us to a resort in the finger lakes region for a summer vacation about four years ago. It was cool and pleasant up there in New York. Not like the hot summers here in eastern Oklahoma that we often spent on the lakes. Many Americans don’t know that Oklahoma has some of the most beautiful recreational lakes around. Our trip out to New York was two fold. It was our normal stay on the lake summer vacation and it was a chance to visit the college my older brother Michael now attends on a full ride scholarship. But, the “event” looms over my life, so, it is kinda like I actually witnessed it that day. Like I was there in person to see my brother get hurt. I remember coming back from what was a fantastic day on the resort’s lake to hear about it. It was a gut punch if ever there was one.”

“My parents spared me the gruesome details as long as they could. But, I found out over time.” I paused to think about my brother’s reaction to it. “Seeing my five year old brother wake up in the hospital two days later wondering how he got there wasn’t fun either. I was the only one in the room. It was my turn as family to watch him. Well, that isn’t true. It was Michael’s turn, but I said I would do it for him so he could visit his college instead. I should have been watching Harry two days earlier instead of water skiing.” I cried as I fought to continue, “I couldn’t tell him what happened though. It wasn’t my job. I loved the jerk. He got into my legos all the time and I yelled at him too about it. He was a pain in the ass little brother at times. But, I loved him dearly too.” I broke down for a moment and couldn’t continue. I held my head in my hands and then composed myself. She just stroked my back and let me continue at my own pace.

“You know, about six years separate us. Up until he came along, I was the youngest of three children. You’ve met Michael just before he went to college. And James is in the Navy spending most of his time underwater on a submarine. I feel so stupid that I used to pray to God that I still was the youngest and Harry would go away. Anyway, when Harry finally woke up in the hospital, he had enough drugs in him to calm a raging elephant. I envied him that since for the prior two days I felt like a real evil jerk. At least the drugs made my job easier to say just wait for mom and dad to tell him.” I looked at her worried face and added. “They say his trauma was both physical and mental and caused him to forget almost all of what happened.”

“I should think that was a blessing, wasn’t it?” she asked with a concerned look.

“I guess so. Although, over the years, he has had a few flashbacks at night. I worry about him, as you know. So much so that he sleeps with me in my room so I can keep an eye on him. I asked that he be moved into my room in case you are wondering. Seeing him wake up petrified after a bad dream has been a little much. But, on the whole, he remembers nothing, for which I am very grateful. Still, being there for him when he does wake from a bad dream really helps him and comforts me.”

“Please, go on. Tell me what happened to him?” she asked with a such a loving voice that for a moment I was lost in it. The importance of telling her what happened guided me back.

Regaining my composure, I went on. “Well, I would learn later that the resort, desperate for staff, didn’t thoroughly check their staff out and they hired a sex pervert who delighted in young boys and using them for his own pleasure. Our lawyers argued they should have known. Personally, I have wondered how they could have known. Wasn’t my call, but I tend to think I would have made the same mistake.”

I forced myself to continue to tell her the story. I had to get it off my chest. “Harry should have been dead from what they told me. The perv was interrupted in burying him alive in a shallow grave by a family who had gotten lost on the way to their cabin. It turned out that after raping him, he had castrated him and filleted his penis expecting it to kill him as it had happened before to other boys he had raped and killed.”

Her eyes narrowed in either surprise or anger, maybe both. I continued responding to her unspoken question. “It turned out there were other boys he had done it to before in other places of the country where he had worked. They all bled to death from what I heard at his trial. The cops said on the stand that the pervert liked watching the life go out of the duct taped boys as he buried them and they bled to death before his eyes. He would then jack off over their grave yet wisely used a condom to rape them so there would be no evidence. Only later did they figure out what he did which allowed them to get a DNA sample from the soil. Sick bastard. I hope he dies painfully.”

She grimaced. My voice, I could tell, had a tinge of anger. “Sorry, I can’t help it. Harry was supposed to also die a slow painful death just to please this sick creep. But, thankfully, in Harry’s case, he was discovered soon enough that they could take Harry to the hospital to save his life. The mother of the family who dug his partially buried body up was also an ER nurse. After they later caught the fiend, they put the pervert away for for life. However, it was too late for Harry. My brother’s life was changed forever because of the mutilation of his genitals.”

She gave me a moment to collect my thoughts and calm down. I could tell she was upset too. Tears were flowing from her eyes too. “Afterwards, I did a lot of research online and learned about what happened to him and would happen to him. Harry was almost turned into what is called a “nullo.” Most eunuchs keep their penis. A nullo is someone who is neither female or male anymore because they have no discernible genitals. The only bit of good news was that they were able to save his nerves and the head of his penis. Maybe he can have sex after all. With that in mind, they sewed what was left of him back onto him and moved his pee hole so he could pee sitting down and stretch out his damaged pee tube at the same time. It took him a couple of months to learn to control his pee again without spraying the whole bathroom. I learned not to complain and clean up after him. Poor kid.”

“Mom didn’t complain either when he wet the bed. I did, a little sometimes. She understood. It smelled. To the world, with his clothes off, he looks like a freak. So, he hasn’t really made any close friends who might find out. He has no regular looking penis, or a girl’s vagina for that matter. He has a ball sack with artificial balls too so they can save the skin for later reconstruction. Given our circumstances, my mother, who once kept his hair short and “masculine,” let it grow long and androgynous as you have seen. That way, we can let him use either the boys room or the girls room when it comes to life’s necessities if we are out and about. The problem with that is that most boys don’t like him and the girls don’t know what to think about him.”

I paused. I appreciated how attentive she was to what I was saying. “As to his future, well, my parents were told by the doctors that when he grows older, they would start building him a new penis and give him something of a life back. I know they are looking to me also as sperm donor so he can have children of his own flesh and blood. It will be strange to know his kids are really mine, but, he is family and he is a kind hearted kid.”

She interpreted my glance towards her as I said this as a question about us. “That is very kind of you too. Grandma knew you were a sweetheart. I hope your future wife accepts your kindness to him.” Her face told me all I would need to know about us. She was okay with what I would do for him. She was proud of me.

I went on. “Thank you.” I studied her face and smiled as I said, “I think she will too.” She blushed. I continued. “And we were recently informed by the lawyers that Harry would be taken care of too. After years in the courts, we settled out of court. I know the resort nearly went bankrupt from paying out after we settled our lawsuit. They had to open up an escrow account and will pay into it until Harry turns twenty-three. But, up until eighteen, my parents have to take daily care of him all on their own before being able to use the trust fund. It was a compromise to be sure. But, at least my folks only need to provide for him until adulthood, except for the ongoing psychologist treatments, which was covered by an insurance settlement with the resort too. The rest is up to him.”

For a time, we just hugged. We both had a good cry. I was a bit surprised by her next question. “So, why aren’t you happy? You told me that you can help give him kids. He can be a dad thanks to you. He will be able to sexually please an understanding wife.” She stroked my arm. She was very perceptive and made excellent points. None of which I could deny.

Reflecting on her observation, I commented, “I don’t know.” I said sadly, “I … I don’t think that is what is best for … Harry.” I then looked into her eyes. All I saw in them was love. Love for me. I reached up and caressed her cheek. “You are so beautiful! How did I ever get so lucky as to find you. I want to spend my life with you.”

She sighed and caressed my face again, “I love how caring you are.” It was then that she shared with me her secret. “My grandmother pointed it out to me when we first moved in. Blame her. She singled out your character to me. She told me that you aren’t like other boys at school. She said you are a keeper because you are your brother’s keeper. She is right. You never were like the other boys at school who only saw my beauty. And you are a true keeper because you seek the best for others.” She got up and straddled my legs. It was a good thing that we both were wearing jeans. She draped her arms around my head and shoulders. Then she tilted her head and came in for a kiss. I closed my eyes and our lips parted. Our tongues found each other. I brought my arms around her waist and kissed back. She moaned and then I moaned. It was a slow passionate kiss. I was glad my pants were bunched up against me so no one could see my growing ardor.

As she broke the kiss, I whispered, “My girl. My beautiful sweet girl. I love you.”

She responded back, “And don’t you forget it mister.” And then she kissed me again.

It was then that it struck me out of the blue. She must have sensed something because she broke off our kiss. “What?” she asked as if something was wrong with her kiss.

“Oh, nothing!” I then smiled. “I think I’ve figured it out what I want to try.”

She mistook my meaning and teased me. “Not out here mister and certainly not until we are ...”

I blushed at her meaning not realizing what I had actual meant, but said instead, “No.” I blushed a deep red. “Not that! No, I mean about Harry. It is what I just said to you. ‘My girl.’”

“Oh, so, you want to get him am understanding girlfriend?”

I laughed out loud which I could tell further intrigued her. “No. Not exactly. Although, that could be a future solution.”

“I’ll explain it as we finish putting up the Christmas lights.”

She got up off of my lap and I picked up the box filled with Christmas lights next to me, got up, and took her hand. We walked slowly down to our fence so I could string lights along it. As I began, I told her, “Look. This may sound strange, but my parents aren’t investigating any alternative choices for Harry that my research indicated as possible outcomes.” I paused for dramatic effect. “What if he becomes she?”

She shook her head in disbelief. “This is the kind of thing you can’t force that on him, you know. Has he even asked to be a girl?”

“Not in so many words, no. But, look, last year, after my parents took him to visit to Santa, he confessed to me privately that he didn’t believe in him anymore. Guess what the reason is why he won’t tell my parents the truth?”

“He doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.” she surmised.

“It is one of the things I love about you. I knew you were smarter than me.”

“Than I.” she said correcting my English while playfully tickling my side.

“See what I mean!” We both laughed.

“So, you are thinking Harry might be open to being a girl but …”

“My parents are wanting to restore ‘him’ so badly that I think he is hiding the option of being open to being a a she.” I began to stretch out the lights along the front of the fence line. She leaned against a fence post and watched me as I worked. I could tell she was thinking about what I said.

Finally, she spoke as I started to wrap the lights up and over our split rail fence with what I found to be some very thoughtful questions. “So, if he is hiding it, how do we find out he is open to being a girl? Would he hide a desire to be a girl from you too?”

I stopped what I was doing for a moment to reflect on what she asked. They were good questions. And they deserved the same quality of thought she showed in asking me them. “Yes, I think he would hide it from me too. That will make it difficult for me to find out, won’t it?”

I saw her break into a wry smile. I guessed I admitted what she needed me to admit. She flexed her eyebrows up and down as if she had a plan. “Not for me. After your folks bring him back from shopping, come on over with Harry in tow. You are going to help me clean house.” She bounced up and down on her toes and turned to leave. “See you a little later, Frank. I love you. And thank you for your offer to help me clean.”

I shouted after her as she pranced away, “I will. I love you too. What exactly do you mean by clean?” She didn’t answer, but I trusted her. Finishing my last turn of the lights, I plugged them in to test them. With the whole fence lit up, I quietly said as I switched their plug into a timer and looked to my bedroom window, “I will help you help me.” I wondered what she was up to. It was clear to me that both Harry and I needed some intervention this Christmas.

After my folks came back a short while later and complimented me on my work ethic, I gave Harry a piggy back ride over to her place. Since I had hit puberty, my now five foot eight muscular frame could easily carry his four foot two and sixty-five pound body. He loved it. And, to be truthful, so did I. It was rare to hear him giggle with delight. And I wanted him to see her as a positive in his life. I set him down at her door and rang their doorbell. I was surprised when she answered the door by how different she looked. Normally, the spiffy dresser, she was dressed more like a farmer’s daughter in a set of ol beige overalls and a candy stripped blouse. Her hair was in pig tails. She reminded me a little like some sort of Raggedy Ann doll or some other doll a girl might have in her room. Just as cute a doll too.

“Thanks for coming over to help me clean out, Frank. You too Harry. Sorry you can’t play on our X-Box One like you usually do. She tweaked his nose and then gave me a kiss on my cheek. “I’ve decided it is time to clear out all my old stuff. And your brother has agreed to help. Mom has been after me and after me for about a year to clear out all my old clothes and toys from our move out here. It makes sense.”

She led us to their garage where I could see that she had spent some time preparing for us to come over. She had electric heaters going to take the late fall chill out of the air. My job was to go up into their attic and bring boxes down marked with her name on them. They were never unpacked from their recent move. Even better, they had this neat elevator contraption that would lower the boxes down from the attic to the garage floor. I merely had to find her boxes, lower them, come downstairs and move them over. And then go up to do the same thing. It looked like it would take me at least an hour to bring down all her boxes. She winked at me and told me to bring down a certain group of boxes first that she pointed out. Then, she and my brother arranged a couple of tables where she could sort everything for give away, throw away, re-boxing.

As I worked bringing down all her boxes, I watched as she and my brother sat down at one table and played with her Barbie Dolls. With tears in her eyes, she said to Harry, “I am a little sad. I used to play with these a lot when I was your age. Would you play with me for a few minutes before I pack them up to say goodbye.” Harry nodded yes and began playing with her.

I looked at her and nodded. I kinda knew what she was doing. I continued to watch them play while I began to unbox her stuff and sort it onto the tables she had set up before we came over. I found that she had put index cards on each of the tables letting me know what the table was for. I hid my embarrassment at sorting out her old panties. I whispered into her ear as a I walked by, “I know what you are doing. I won’t complain if you don’t.” She looked at the panties in my hand and rolled her eyes. She was embarrassed too.

She replied “Thank you.” I continued to work hard. She looked at me working hard and gave me an admiring look which sent chills down my spine. While sorting out her blouses, pants, and dresses, I noticed that Harry was enjoying playing with dolls with her. About two hours after we started working on her stuff, my lovely girlfriend got up and began to start helping me. As we worked together sorting clothes into give away piles and throw away piles, we both noticed that Harry continued to play with the dolls all on his own. In fact, he didn’t even seem to care about what we were doing.

After a about five minutes, as I put clothes in hefty bags to be thrown away and boxes to be given away, she turned to Harry and said, “You can keep playing while I finish sorting things with your brother.” Harry nodded and we just worked on cleaning out her stuff. We both looked at each other. Harry didn’t miss a beat. She mouthed the words, “I think you are right about Harry.”

At the end of of a couple hours of sorting, and a brief break where she showed Harry why she liked jeans, I noticed that she pulled over a box and put certain clothes in it. She marked it “keepsakes.” Later, her mom came out and thanked me for helping them clean out the attic of all Nadine’s old stuff. She then invited us all in for a late snack. Harry was thrilled and actually brought in one of the Barbies. Her mother looked rather strangely at him playing with the dolls, but then smiled and walked away. We didn’t say anything yet, but as we both went in for the delicious snack, I could tell we needed and wanted to talk about what we saw Harry doing.

After Harry scurried home to tell Mom I would be home in a few minutes, I finally had a moment out front alone with Nadine. We slowly walked across the street while she thanked me for helping her.

“Well, what did you think?” I asked.

“I think Harry is open to being a girl. You saw the dolls and the brief dress up. The question is, is he wanting to try? I think he is.”

“What is stopping him, do you wonder?”

“I think you are right. It is your parents. He doesn’t want to disappoint them.”

We both stopped and leaned on a fence looking at a pond that was nearby our homes. After a long silence, I offered, “We can’t push him in the other direction either. It has to come from Harry.”

“I agree. I am glad you see that. But, how do we change your parents mind while allowing him to have the freedom to make his own choice?”

A little while later, I was called to the phone by my mom. A giggly voice at the other end said, “Did you know that two of my Barbies are missing.”

“Really? How do you know?”

“You have to ask? Mister, I know if a Lego is missing in my designs, Frank?” She reminded me of how many times Harry would take a lego out of a display I had made and I would complain to him.

I whispered into the phone, “What do they look like?” After getting a brief description of her dolls, I kept an eye out for them. Sure enough, just before bed, I caught a glance of something underneath his dresser while Harry was getting ready for bed. So, while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I looked under the dresser and saw the dolls. Carefully, I pulled them out and went to his made up bed. I placed them under the sheets for him to discover as he climbed into bed.

It was Thanksgiving Eve at our house. School was out and we were all relaxed. The house would be bustling the next day with men watching football and women working in the kitchen. As Harry threw back his sheets to get into bed, I looked over to him from my bed and said to the startled kid, “You don’t need to hide them. Nadine wants you to ask for them. She doesn’t mind you having them so long as you don’t steal them. Okay? Have you given them names yet?”

Turning slowly to me, he inquired, “You mean you don’t mind my playing with dolls?”

I looked at him in all seriousness and exclaimed, “Of course not. What kind of brother would I be if I did? So, what names did you give them?” I then adjusted my pillow and closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them again after hearing nothing. “Well, what are their names?”

“I don’t know yet.” he stammered. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

Closing my eyes, I said, “That’s okay. I am sure you will give them very pretty names. Be sure to thank Nadine after you apologize for stealing them. She said she would have been thrilled to give them to you if you asked in the first place. She still is going to say yes in case you’re wondering.”

The next morning, for the first time in a long time, I awoke and saw him smiling in his sleep. He was curled up with the dolls, instead of his normal teddy bear. Gone was his sour expression. I arose and softly walked out of the room. I approached my mom and quietly said, “Mom, can you come with me for a second.” Just before entering my room, I warned her, “This is the first time in ages I have seen him smiling in his sleep. Don’t ruin it. Just look and don’t say anything, please? I will explain. Promise?”

She nodded and then looked in on him. She grinned and then her face turned to concern. She saw the dolls. I put my finger up to my mouth and waved her to come with me into the hallway. “Mom, she got the dolls from Nadine yesterday when we were cleaning out her old stuff. I haven’t seen Harry smile in his sleep since the event until now.”

Mom folded her arms and looked at me sternly. I could tell she was conflicted. On the one hand, she wanted to bolt into our room and rip the dolls away. On the other hand, she knew that Harry was feeling depressed and she was worried about him too. Finally, she looked at me and asked, “Why did you call Harry ‘she’?”

“Did I? I hadn’t realized. Anyway, Mom, Harry was playing with Nadine while I fetched her boxes down from their attic. He stole those dolls. Nadine doesn’t mind. But, they mean something to him.”

“You helped her with her stuff yesterday? She isn’t taking advantage of you, is she?”

“No, Mom. Remember, she helped me put up the Christmas lights yesterday morning.”

“Oh, yes. Well, I am not sure I like him sleeping with dolls. It isn’t good for a boy.”

“Mom, Harry looks happy. He didn’t whimper once last night as he usually does. If the dolls help him, please let him enjoy them. I worry about him too.”

“I know you do honey. It’s just not right for a boy ...”

I responded with as much mature reasoning as I could. “Mom, I promised you I would look after him for the rest of my life. I will. He is my brother and I love him. This is me looking out for him by telling you this morning what I found out. He stole those dolls for a reason. At least let the professionals find out what that reason is before you take the dolls from him, okay? Please?”

I didn’t realize that my dad was standing there behind me. He said, “Honey, Frank is right. Let’s let Harry enjoy the dolls and let the counselor the insurance settlement provided for talk to the boy first to find out why he needs them. It could well be that the dolls are just a defense mechanism. If he is seen with them, then some pervert attracted to boys might overlook him.”

The look on my Mom’s face changed. “A defense mechanism. Yes, it could be just that. Okay, I can live with that. We’ll call the doctor on Monday and ask.” With that, she walked into our room. I followed her in as she gently shook Harry.”

“Wake up dear. Come on, wake up.” I watched her smile at my brother and there wasn’t a hint of concern on her part either in her voice or her expression. Harry looked up at her, glanced at the dolls, and then back at her. “Yes, honey, I know. You shouldn’t have stolen the dolls. You make sure you ask Nadine for them, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy.” he said in a sorrowful tone which I took to mean he was sorry he had stolen them. But then, with a smile, he added, “Thank you Mommy.” In fact, Harry sounded almost giddy. Mom shot me a glance that said she also was surprised too at how happy he sounded. I could tell she too realized that the dolls were touching some unmet need. I could see her whole body language soften. She beamed at him and patted him on the head as she left the room.

I found out later, while we were getting dressed, that Dad called all our guests coming over for dinner and told them about the dolls. Apparently, he explained that they seemed to be helping Harry. And it was true, he walked around with the dolls all day. He was more open too which everyone noticed. He even played dolls with our cousins, Amy and Mary too. On the whole, he was as bubbly as I had ever seen him in ages. It still didn’t prove he was a girl though. But, it meant that my parents wouldn’t be as dictatorial as before.

The weekend of leftovers went quickly by. Church was setting up for Advent by lighting the first candle and Sunday night, we, in turn, lit up our Christmas lights officially starting the month of December in style. I gave Harry another piggy back ride over to Nadine’s for a talk.

“Now, Harry, you understand stealing those dolls was wrong, right?” she asked sternly, but with a twinkle in her eye he couldn't miss.

He looked down and said, “I’m sorry. Can I keep Celine and Taylor, please?”

“Of course you can, Sweetie. What interesting names.” She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I could tell he enjoyed her kindness and love of him too. It was as though a ton of bricks had been removed between them.

Acting happier than I hadn’t seen him for a long time, he quipped, “My brother likes listening to them on the radio. He says they make him think of you.”

“He does does he?” she said to Harry as if they both had ganged up against me. I blushed and rolled my eyes my eyes up as if to ignore what was said by him. It was more than worth the peck on the cheek from her and the giggle from him.

Things progressed and Thursday, when I got home from school, I found a note from my Mom saying that she had taken Harry to the doctor for a consultation. I have no idea what was said, but there was quite a discussion between my parents behind closed doors. What I heard through their door had me worried, though. My dad exclaimed loudly, “But, we have no young girls in our house.”

I did notice more changes in Harry though. Not for the bad either. He seemed happier and less sullen at all times. Since the event, Harry had been say, for lack of a better phrase, a wet blanket. Very few things made him cheerful anymore. Moving him into my room was one of the few things that brightened up his life. It was clear that he loved being around me. And, as I had the largest room, it wasn’t that difficult either. But, as I had noted over the last year, my improving relationship with Nadine made him feel left out. This is something she picked up on and I am glad she forced his story out of me. Including him at times definitely made things better.

So, I wasn’t shocked when Dad picked me up from school a week later and took me to see Harry’s doctor where I talked about Harry and my observations.

“It’s not healthy in the long term that you are always there for him. I am sure you know that." I slowly nodded. He continued, "At some point, he is going to have to face the monsters of life all on his own.” Dr. Nelson said. I nodded in agreement. He was right. “So, why did you think about the possibility that he was a girl. Was it for you or for him?”

“For him. When he told me that he didn’t want to hurt Mom and Dad by telling them he didn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore, I realized that he might be making me happy by being in the room with me as a boy when his … no … her heart was elsewhere. And I asked myself if I would rather see him … or … her happy? I began to consider what he might want to be when he grows up as Nadine and I talked. That is when it struck me that I should consider all of his or her options. And, when I researched online what options there were for him, one of them happened to be becoming a girl instead of a boy.”

“Very astute of you. Most of my patients aren’t healthy emotionally enough to consider their options. On to another matter. Did you know he had stolen Nadine’s panties too?” Dr. Nelson had me there.

“That I didn’t know. But, I can see she would know her dolls better than her underwear.” I blushed at the memory of having to sort them out while Nadine and Harry played with her dolls.

Dr. Nelson pressed me further, “But, you are not surprised at all, are you?”

“No, Nadine commented that, as she was cleaning out her stuff, she held up dresses to inspect them and Harry took notice. He watched her intently as she worked. Finally, he asked why she didn’t seem to wear dresses anymore. She said to him, ‘Well, Harry, you tell me. Take off your shirt and pants. See for yourself.’ She turned around and then said, ‘When he is done, Frank, have him put on this dress.’”

Dr. Nelson was surprised to say the least. “Good, go on.”

“Well, she handed me a dress while he took off his shirt and pants.”

“Did he object?”

“No, if anything, he tried to act nonchalant about it. I then helped him put on the dress.”

“Did his demeanor change any?”

“A little. He commented that it felt a little funny and giggled about the air around and between his legs as though he enjoyed it.”

“And how long did he wear the dress?”

“All of five minutes if that. Nadine had him stand up and sit down. She teased him about seeing his boy’s underwear and then said that is why she liked wearing jeans instead of dresses. Boys liked to look up her dress to see her panties. He giggled and then got changed while she turned her back again.”

I saw the good doctor make some notes. The doctor thanked me and my Dad brought me home. He seemed deep in thought, so, I didn’t bother him. What really surprised me was seeing Nadine talking intently with my mother when I got home. We hugged and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Mom and Dad smiled. Mom spoke up before Nadine, “I am going to steal your girlfriend tomorrow.” Nadine nodded with a huge grin.

Nadine, noticing my reaction, said, “It’s okay, we’re going to do some Christmas shopping. And that means I get to keep secrets from you. But, only until Christmas.” Nadine poked me in the side and tickled me. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was good to see her get along with my mother too. I started to notice too the way my parents were looking at both of us. I think they could tell how much in love we were. Which made what happened next even more special.

While they went shopping, Dad, Harry, and I went out to get a Christmas tree and get it set up. Christmas was a week and a half away. And we had shopping to do ourselves. With Dad’s help, we bought presents for Mom. Dad even helped me buy a gift for Nadine.

I was surprised when we walked into a rather nice jewelry store in the mall and Dad directed me to some rather expensive looking necklaces. When I pointed out one I liked that was about two hundred dollars, my shock turned into astonishment that Dad actually let me buy it for Nadine.

“Thanks Dad. But, I really should repay you for this. Are you sure this isn’t going to be considered too much for me to give her?” I was feeling uneasy.

“Frank, you have done so much for your little brother. You have sacrificed relationships with friends in order to protect him. You let him into your room without question because you worry about him. Let me help you do something nice for someone who has become special to you.”

Through it all, I never saw what was coming next. On Christmas morning, my brother Michael and I circled the Christmas tree as usual to hand out presents to be unwrapped. Harry noticed that there were lots of presents for everyone but few for him. He looked up at me as if to say why, but my Mom interrupted the potential disaster. “It’s okay Harry. You haven’t been forgotten. Your present was too big to put under the tree, that’s all.”

I could see how excited and curious he was then. What was he getting? I didn’t even know. My big surprise about half-way through the gift giving, Nadine showed up out of no where with my Mom. Her present was under the tree, so I handed it to her. I thought that was why she was there, because I was certain that Mom told her. She was thrilled with her necklace, but it is what happened next that floored me the most. When everything was unwrapped, Dad took Harry by the hand and said, “Let’s go see your present.”

All of us followed Harry down the hallway to his old door. It had been four years since he had been in his room last. He avoided it because it reminded him of what he had lost. When Dad opened the door to his old room, both Harry and I were shocked. I looked over to Nadine who just winked. I realized this was her gift to me. It was confirmed when I saw a box marked “keepsakes” in the corner of the room. And I very much cherished what she did. She put Harry first over me.

There, where his old room used to be, was her room. It was a girl’s room filled with girl’s toys. The closet door was open and filled with girl’s clothes. On the bed was sitting Dr. Nelson. How he came to be there, I didn’t know at the time. Later, I learned that he came in through the garage with the help of Nadine.

“Dr. Nelson, are you my gift? What on earth happened to my old room?” Harry seemed nervous while at the same time happy with what he saw. Mom took him by the hand and led him into what would become her room. Dad then picked him up and put him on the bed next to Dr. Nelson.

“Merry Christmas Harry.” Dr. Nelson exclaimed.

“Merry Christmas, Dr. Nelson.” Harry looked around at all of us and then gave Dr. Nelson a questioning look.

“Well, Harry. As you know, you have options because of what happened to you. At your age, you can either grow up to be a boy or a girl. And this is your play room to find out what you want to be. If you stay in your brothers room, you can continue to be a boy. But, if you like, you can come into this room and try out what it is like to be a girl.”

Harry was silent, but looked at Mom and Dad to see what their reaction would be. Dad spoke up first, “Look Harry, it is your choice. We want you to be happy. And we saw how having the dolls made you happy. If you want to be a girl, we will support you.”

Dr. Nelson then asked, “The dolls did make you happy, didn’t they?”

“Yes, Dr. Nelson.” Harry smiled. “Very much so.”

“And putting on the dress for Nadine made you curious, didn’t it?” Harry blushed and nodded yes.

“Okay, we just want you to know that you can come in here and try on being a girl. If you decide to stay in here, in a year, you can start on girl hormones. If you decide to stay with your brother, you can start on boy hormones. In either case, once you start on your hormones, this room will be changed to that of a boy or remain that of a girl.”

“Can I still sleep with Frank if I want?”

“Only if you are a boy. But, in a year, you will have to return to this room which will be turned back into a boys room if you start taking boy hormones.”

Then Dad took over. “Now Harry, here are the rules. If you use this room and wear the clothes in this room, you must act like a girl at all times. If you wish to continue being a girl, you may go with us to do things outside of the house with us. And, in a years time, if you decide you want to be a girl forever, you will be allowed to go to school as a girl too. The choice is yours. So, we are going to leave you now to explore this room. Let us know what you decide, okay?” He and Mom walked up to give him a hug and a kiss. We all left and sat in the living room talking about our favorite Christmas gifts over the years.

A little while later, Harry came out wearing a dress. Nadine asked, “Who is this pretty girl?”

“Harriet. Call me Harriet, please.”

As Mom and Nadine helped Harriet correct her mistakes, I walked Dr. Nelson to his car. “Thank you, Frank.” he said. “Without your observation to Nadine, none of this would have happened. You are a remarkable man.”

“But what convinced you Harriet was a girl, not a boy?” I asked.

“Something she said in counseling. I am not supposed to tell you, but I don’t think it will hurt. She said that she felt if she didn’t grow up to be a boy, she would lose her parent’s love. She was mistaking their guilt over what happened to her as a demand to be a boy regardless of how she felt.”

“So, when I told you that she didn’t want to hurt their feelings by telling them she didn’t believe in Santa anymore then ...”

“She demonstrated a desire to please them at her own expense.” He opened his door. “I am glad we caught it now. Sooner or later, she would rebel and do something stupid. Maybe even suicide.” He closed his door and looked up at me. “You know, Frank, this is going to change things for you. You are likely going to lose a brother, but gain a sister. Anyway, I have a recommendation for you. A freebie if you will.”

“What is that, sir?”

“Never stop caring for those around you, but always make sure you take care of yourself too.”

As he drove off, Nadine came up and put her arm around my waist. We both waived goodbye to Dr. Nelson.

As we walked back into my home, she said, “Frank, I love you.”

“I love you too. And thank you for my Christmas miracle. I never knew I needed a sister.”

… Over that next year, Nadine taught Harriet how to be a girl along with my mother. I saw Harry less and less. Soon, I had the room to myself and Harriet was staying in her room happy and content. Of course, by the end of that year, Harriet chose being a girl forever and started girl hormones. Years have past. Harriet didn’t need me as much anymore to look after her. She was so happy in her new life with friends galore. And she has a great relationship with Nadine to this day. The two go shopping together now and then. They are as thick as thieves when they get together. They even gang up on me which they know I love. But, I grew far closer to Harriet too the year of her choice than I ever was to Harry. Harriet realized the full benefit of brotherly love which she still enjoys even to this day.

And I received a valuable Christmas miracle I never knew I was missing and would really enjoy, the wonderful joy of sisterly love.

Copyright © 2018 by AuP reviner