CHAPTER 17
“Maman…”

“Yes, my sweet?”

“There is...at school, there is a boy…”

“Ah. I had hoped…but, alas, that day had to come. Does he know?”

“About my state? No, I think not”

“No, silly girl, does he know that you are looking at him?”

I had to laugh at her assumptions. “No, dear, sweet mother, it is him that is looking at me, or at least that is what his friend has said”

“Oh…I am sorry, my darling, but I was assuming…”

I realised she had tears in her eyes. “Maman…”

“It is nothing, but please do not hate me. I still see my boy and I did not suspect a boy would not, would instead see my daughter, yes?”

I could feel the blush as it invaded my face, and as usual I decided I would blame my little pills. “Yes, Maman…he apparently has been looking at my behind. It appears to be not unattractive. Maman…you would that I had been, you know, still Serge?”

She turned away to face the wall, and I saw her hands move and knew that she was wiping away tears. She turned her gaze to where the wall met the ceiling. “Sophie…yes, Sophie it is, Sophie it should have been from the beginning, I know that now and I thank the Good God and His Blessed Mother that we have found this to be true when you are still of an age that some things may be corrected, but I once had a son that I did indeed love with all of a mother’s heart, and sometimes, just sometimes…but then I see my pretty daughter, and I know what is right for her”

“My mother, I am not pretty!”

She turned to me, her arms folded and one hand touching a cloth to her eyes. “No, my little one, you are not. Serge…it seems right to speak if ‘him’, no? Serge was already too tall, and you are still growing. You are not pretty, no, not like Margot is, or even Héloise, but you are long in the leg and striking in the face. You have a strong look, like Athena in the old statues, and you have good skin and hair. I can see why a boy would look more than once. But, my sweet, there is still more of you than there should have been, and less where there should be more. If he were to discover, then it would not be safe. Oh, holy skies, this is hard. My sweet child, think: I am also seeing what was my son…I am realising how normal my daughter really is, and it gives me pain. Pity an old woman, but I wish to have grandchildren to spoil”

I stepped forward to hold her, and for an instant she simply laid her head on my bosom, arms still folded. Then, she uncurled herself and gripped me hard with her arms.

“My darling daughter, we shall do this together, you, I and your two friends. But please: do not speak of this to your brother”

“My brother knows I am but a girl, Maman”

“Yes, and big brothers tend to be a trifle protective of their sisters. Now, off and change, we will have chicken with its shirt on tonight”

“Plenty of garlic?”

“Of course! We shall find out how much courage this boy has. And what is his name?”

“Benoit, Maman”

“Would he perhaps be a friend of that Matthieu that Elle is mooning over? Ah, of course. The matchmaking goes both ways. This will be four children going somewhere, yes?”

“How did you know about Elle’s…interest?”

She grinned, tears almost forgotten. “I am a mother, my sweet. It is what we do! One day…one day, with the Grace of God, one day I hope you will know this to be true”

The moods were sweeping over her like cloud shadows on a day of strong winds, but she was humming as she attacked the chicken. Not a word was said to Roland.

The bus the next day was slightly late, and it was of course raining, so I was a little out of my best mood when I finally boarded.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Did you speak with Matty?”

“Yes”

“Whore of shit, this is hard work! Margot, talk to her; I will just swear again, and that is not attractive, and frowning gives girls lines where they do not want them”

“Well, Sophie? Did you speak to Matthieu for Elle?”

“I did, yes, and he is not without interest and he has no little friend just now”

Elle squealed. “Yes! So he has said yes!”

“But there is a condition”

“Tell me!”

“Calm yourself, Elle. Matthieu has a friend, Benoit, who is also alone just now, and he has an interest in one of your friends, and so he asked if she was similarly free”

“Well, it can’t be Fatima–oh, shut your mouth, you know what your papa would say! And Margot…oh, he must not know!”

“That she and my brother are already selecting wallpaper?”

The tall blonde slapped my arm, then laughed. I raised her hand, and kissed it.

“You make Rollo happy, Margot, and better, you make him calm. You make him the man I have always loved. No, Elle, it is not Margot”

“Then…oh, Sophie! It is you, no?”

“Yes, it is me. Apparently, he thinks my behind looks nice in trousers. I suppose that is a beginning of sorts”

Elle grabbed me for a hug, and then she asked the usual question.

“About size 47 or 48, I think, but that is of no importance”

“Of course it is of importance! Oh”

Her face fell, and in a quieter voice she apologised. “Sophie, you see how real you are, I forgot, yes? So, what is it he wants to do?”

“Well, it is not the time of year to walk behind the sand, so I think he wants to go for steak-chips, or perhaps the cinema”

“Only if we can choose the film. I wish no noisy boys’ thing”

Fatima had sat quietly through all of this, as was her way, just waiting to add a choice word, and she did not disappoint.

“Elle, the choice of film will not be important, not when you will have Matthieu’s face against yours from the instant the lights go off”

“Well, if it is the cinema and not a meal this girl will be hungry!”

“Then I shall see if Maman has the thing from our last trip back to the old country, the thing for my brother on the aeroplane. The booster seat”

And we were there, Fatima, as so often, leading us laughing into our day’s work, and there, at the entrance, stood Matthieu, and a strong yellow-haired boy I recognised as Benoit.

“Salut, the girls!”

Elle walked straight up to him and took a stance with her feet apart, and looked up at him, which was of course a necessity. “Well, is it for a meal, or did you have designs on the cinema?”

Benoit started laughing, but I noticed he kept glancing my way. When I caught his eye, I gave him just the slightest nod, but my heart was hammering, and I suspected I might vomit. Matthieu was smiling down at Elle.

“I see we have an understanding, at least for two of us…ah, the day is becoming a good one. Perhaps we should leave the shy ones to their own company?”

He walked off with all the friends I had in the world, and Benoit seemed suddenly fascinated by his shoes. Such a big strong boy, and so reticent!

“Benoit, Matty said, you understand, that he would be happy with Elle, but that…”

He still stared at his toes. “That you would need to go with his slow friend? Thank you, but it is not as a charitable act I wish something from you”

I was still terrified, but I held it to me and made my words calm. “I am not here as charity, Benoit. Matty said, his words were, that you liked my behind in trousers”

That all came out in a rush, and I watched as his own cheeks turned the colour I felt my own must be. He mumbled something unclear.

“Your pardon?”

“I said that it is true. I saw your legs all Summer, and they are nice, but it was when you wore the trousers, and I just said it once to Matty, and he said he would ask, and I told him not to, and piece of shit, I am not good at this”

He was so shy I thought my heart would split. “Benoit…I am not someone who has had a boyfriend, nor have I had any boy tell me such things before. I thank you for your courtesy, and I would be honoured to walk somewhere with you, not as a deal but because I want to”

He looked up at that. “You speak the truth? You would go out with me?”

“I have also seen your behind in trousers, Benoit…oh, and now I see your smile, and how could any sane girl refuse you?”