Smart stupid cat

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My orange cat has found something new to do to annoy me. She already mastered the art of shitting on the floor if I don't empty her litter pan fast enough, jumping on me and then groomer herself while I sleep, and destroying blinds if I leave her in the house alone without a way out or without a way of finding me to do number 2 on this list.

Since I work at nights, I normally get up about 12:30 and cook myself dinner, note; I leave for work at 1:20, not a lot of time. I cook on my George Forman grill (proof that God still gives gifts to his children) but by the time I finish eating I don't have time to clean it off. Well, problem solved. Every time (for the last 4 days) I come home and let my cats in Kabookie (Orange demon cat) runs to the kitchen, jumps on the counter, and starts licking the gristle from the grill. Sometimes there is a small piece of chicken that gets left behind. She also licks the chicken water from the fat catcher. She won't listen to me when I say she will get high cholesterol.

My other cat is now doing another annoying thing. Madeline (cat of indeterminate color that I call rust) is bi-polar. Sometimes she wants to be completely left alone, other times she will do whatever it takes to be on top of you. I just had a sandwich and must've dropped a little mayo on my neck... I wiped it off, but she is making sure and licking the spot (I think she might want to get to bone).

I need to be saved from the evil kittens.

Comments

They are not evil.

littlerocksilver's picture

They are individuals, and a lot smarter than they want you to know.

Portia

Have you tried

Angharad's picture

feeding them? It's the most popular thing I do and I'm sure is the only reason they let me live here - I'm the only one who can work the tin-opener.

If cat's had opposable thumbs we'd be in big trouble.

Angharad

I agree Angharad.

My last smart cat Mr. Kitty figured out door knobs. The only thing preventing him from freedom was the turn bolt lock four more inches of height and he'd have had it. And remember the old saying dogs have owners cats have staff.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Smart Stupid Kitties

My cat can be diabolically evil when she wants to be, but usually she's a suck who loves to cuddle. She hasn't tried working door knobs but she figured out if she's trapped in the basement with the door closed tight (if it's not tight, she knows how to put a paw under the door and push or pull to get it open), she will bang the broom hanging on the back of the basement door so it makes a remarkably realistic "knock knock knock" sound against the door. When she first learned this trick, we thought the knocking was coming from the front door, but eventually we learned to attribute it to "oh, the cat's trapped downstairs"...

Lisa

Feed - Angharad

Feed them? The wild animals that have overtaken my home? I don't know if that's a good idea, they might become domesticated devil cats and then where would I be. I let them out often enough to hunt.

Of course I feed them. Their kitty dishes are full and I fill them up every morning even though they aren't empty. My cats don't want what I put in that dish though, they want what I am eating and I generally give them some of it after I am done (I am opposed to feeding them while I'm eating because then they will just jump all over you). In fact, one morning I came home and had a breakfast borito that I was eating in the van. Evil rust cat jumped through the window and bit a chunk off before I could react and it was in my mouth. They can be good kids, I mean, they take care of their fleas.

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

Had a cat growing up...

Daniela Wolfe's picture

My mother had a cat when I was growing up and the little critter seemed intent on making my life miserable. I'm still convinced she was Satan in cat form.


Have delightfully devious day,

Fun

Sounds like you are having fun with your furry friends
HUGS KATIE -- RICHIE2

Smart stupid cat

Remember that we humans are owned by our cats. we don't own them. LOL :)

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I could run 'em out of town. :)

Extravagance's picture

I won't shit on your floor, I won't wreck your blinds, and I will clean the grill with a sponge.
I won't drink from the grease trap. After all, if a Cat-MegaTomboy doesn't watch her figure, no-one else will want to. = )

You'll scratch me behind the ears and feed me prawns, right? *HuggleSnugglePurr* ^_^

Catfolk Pride.PNG

My two favorite Brittany Stories

Frank's picture

When my furry child Katy aka Katybug was still a kitten and Brittany an only child (she never accepted Katy or later Linsey) the following happened:

My ex-wife was out of town on a business trip. Brittany and I were sitting on the bed up near the pillows. Well I was sitting, she was snoozing. Katy decided to be rambunctious and started to run in a circle. She's start on the floor, jump up onto the bed near the foot, race across, jump down, run to the other side, and repeat. After a few times through the circuit I looked over at Brittany and said to her "Brittany, why don't you go and settle your sister down?" Brittany gets up walks to the end of the bed, Katy is finishing her circle. Katy jumps back up on the bed, as she approaches Brittany lets out a mighty HISSSSS. Katybug stopped instantly and dropped into a sitting position. Brittany walks back to the head of the bed next to me. Settles back into her place from before. She lets out one more hiss at Katy and goes back to sleep. To this day it is the most amazing thing I've ever seen any of them do.

Another time, I was watching Brittany as she became a master thief. My ex used to have elastic circle hair ties called ponyo's. Brittany liked to play with them and we used them for toys. Tammy kept the ones she used in the medicine cabinet. She had a little stand that was just basically a pole she could put them on without stretching them out. Brittany one day goes into the bathroom. I was watching her and she jumps up onto the sink. This wasn't unusual because she'd often get up there and caterwaul at me to brush her. This day she had a mission. I watch her walk across the sink she reaches up with her hand/paw and opens the medicine cabinet. So like a good parent I just keep watching her wondering what the hell she's doing. She reaches in and slides the top ponyo up the pole and off. It dropped down, she picks it up with her mouth and trots off happily with it.

Brittany had deductive reasoning...she was so smart it was scary sometime.

{{Hugs}}

Frank

P.S. I'm currently using Brittany in my avatar and signature pictures.

Hugs

Frank

Cats!!!!

They are absolutely wonderful creatures - all of them, regardless of size. When my shih tzu/schnauzer mix finally goes to doggy heaven, my plans are to replace her with a Maine Coon, aka The Gentle Giant. Love my dogs, but it is time for another cat.

How smart are they? just search cats on you-tube, and start looking. Some videos are just plain funny antics that cats do, but a lot also show their intelligence, along with the antics. And invariably, always playful!

Sometimes I wonder if the Egyptians were right, when they considered all cats deity. (Did I get the correct ancient people?) At least when they are around humans they seem to be gods, even now!

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm