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Maybe you veterans can tell me what to make of this. Maybe this is as good as it is going to get.
Dear Dad,
I don't know why your children will not visit you. It does not entirely make sense to me either. The Lord knows... You and the remainder of our family continue to be in my own prayers. I have my own theories. I do know that the prayers of a righteous man accomplish much. I hope you're bringing the grievousness of this situation before our Father. Let's observe that the anger of man does not accomplish the Lord's purpose. He is faithful. I'm going to continue to trust Him to make this right.
It looks as though you all had some wonderful weather yesterday and today. I hope you got outside to enjoy it. I bet Mt Hood is a sight to behold. The Lord is good!!! I'm going through Romans right now. I've been going through it for about the last two months. It has been tough, but I feel I'm starting to get something out of it now. I'm beginning to agree that if you understand Romans, then you have a better capacity to understand the Bible as a whole. Amazing. Stabilizing. Comforting. Real hope.
Love, Scott
Comments
Is the purpose of the note...
Is the purpose of the note a personal letter to you, or an excuse to spam for Jesus?
I know nothing of Scott and the circumstances of the letter, but it comes off as rather self-centered to me. Nothing against evangelical Christians, but this seems rather inappropriate.
Yeah!
What Misty said!
Mr. Ram
It is the best my son can do for a letter to me.
He now works for a Homeless shelter in Norfolk, and when he told me he was going to work there, I thought that the work there would knock him off his sanctimonious high horse. Now it seems like his extremisim has just fermented. I am disappointed. I had really hoped that he would grow up a little.
Yes, sure I am Muslim and some of you think I am really extreme, but those who do just don't know me.
I'm thinkin I should just write him off and be done with it.
Khadijah
You're still important enough for him ...
... to write you a letter. Maybe you can ignore the contents and just take the fact that he's writing at all as a good sign? Maybe that's all he can do right now.
I'd say don't set your hopes too high, but don't give up either. He might still grow up in 10 or 20 years ...
--- Martin
Don't write him off
Don't write him off, just yet.
At least he bothered to drop you a note. Instead he could have ignored you, or worse, sent you a flaming diatribe.
It sounds like he's trying to understand. Unfortunately, he's using the tools and environment that's familiar to him: the Bible. Out in the real world, we know that doesn't always work. Do you interpret everything that happens to you in terms of the Qu'ran? I bet some of your pre-conversion experience shows through.
I don't think you should try and shift him, though. If he's going to work it out, he has to do it on his own. Almost anything you say - that doesn't involve the weather or Mt Hood - is going to be taken the wrong way. You just have to be patient.
Penny
Religeon versus relationship
Hi Gwen,
You want to cut off your son because he is christian and feeling good about it??? I may be wrong here, but I get the feeling you haven't been Muslim all your life, therefore you 'found' religeon recently too. Who the HELL are you to judge your son for his beliefs??? I'm more pagan than anything else, these days, but I try very hard to be accepting of other people's spirituality. Christianity may not be for everyone, but I have many friends who are GOOD people who base their faith in Christ. I will never say they are wrong to do so. Who the hell am I to argue with something that works for them?
From the little I could gleen from these posts, I understand that your son has a job, he is contributing to society and he is happy with his spirituality.
I also get the feeling that most of your family is unhappy with the direction your life has taken and here is your son writing to you to try to keep something alive in the way of communication and you want to cut him off???? If these are the teachings of your new faith, I for one want nothing to do with it.
If this is what your new friends are teaching you? - THINK FOR YOURSELF! This is your son - who made the effort to send you a note. Family. Blood Relation. Your very own genetics passed on to the next generation.
sincerely,
Hope
with love,
Hope
Once in a while I bare my soul, more often my soles bear me.
Say What?
Excuse me for being more than a wee bit dense here, but what does being a veteran have to do with this note?
As I see it, you need a doctor of theology to help translate the text, no someone like me.
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
Perhaps...
Perhaps she meant veterans of the whole my-family-doesnt-get-transgender thing.
Penny
Clear and Concise
This is very true. But then, the way it is written, it could mean many things;
Veteran writers.
Veteran bloggers on TS/BC
Veterans of Christian discrimination
Veteran theologians
Veteran Bible readers
Veterans of family abuse
Veterans of ___________________ (fill in the blank)
Bottom line, Gwen needs to be a bit more specific here. I do not mean to denigrate her. She asked a sincere and honest question. But if she wishes to receive the sort of help she is looking for, I believe she needs to be clear and concise in how she frames her question. Otherwise she will have a whole slue of silly sods like me making comments that do not do a thing to resolve her issues.
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
I believe that Gwen meant,
veterans in the sense of those who have dealt with the issues of acceptance within families.
Gwen, hon. Take what your son wrote at face value. He is not condemning you or your life choices. Yes, he did call you "Dad," but is that not better than "sinner?"
He did sign his note with "Love." He clearly stated that he doesn't have the same problem with you that the rest of your family seems to have.
The rest of his note seemed to be positive, and yes, he did discuss the Bible a bit, but only in the sense of it being an influence on his life. It seems to me that he is trying, in his own way, to understand your reasons without condemning them, merely saying he trusts God to sort out the problems that exist between your family and you.
Write him back. Let him know that you appreciate his note, and the fact that he is trying to understand. This note does not say to me: "I disapprove of you and the way you are living your life. I don't want anything to do with you."
Indeed, it sounds to me like he wants to continue contact with you, and is still struggling within the limits of his faith, balanced by his love for his parent.
I wouldn't write him off, honey. Just give him time to work through his confusion about you and your decisions about your life. Help him along with your return letter(s) but don't expect miracles. We all know where they come from, and you seldom get one when you really need one.
After all is said and done, he is your son, and he IS trying.
Hugs and love,
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
All of the above plus more
Here I go beginning with that broad generalization and want to tell you that you need to be more specific.
Please avoid the Jesus spam. A brief paraphrase of the history would be fine and probably more understandable.
The fact that he is talking to you warmly in non confrontational terms seems to be an open door. If you love your son and wish to keep that door open then whats wrong with simply being there, loving him consistantly, agreeing to dissagree yet not escalate when you differ. Its respectfully and purposefully loving each other.
Thank you all for your input.
By Veterans, I did mean "veterans" at dealing with family issues that T folk confront.
And yes, I was on my high horse a bit. I thank you all for helping me to think less emotionally about all this.
Thank you.
Gwen
Reminds me of my family
My parents, I mean. Even when they make a little bit of an effort, they couch everything in terms of their particular view of the world. Talk about the economy, its all like "Jehovah's gonna end the world and fix it." I think the only topic that didn't go that direction was talking about the chickens.
I understand about getting up on the high horse, my own letter to the rents was a bit high handed. Just be glad that one of them apparently wants to be a part of your life, however puzzling his communication might be.