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It was my birthday yesterday. I got about 12 cards which was nice. I had a sales meeting at work. They knew it was my birthday and got me a cake and a crate of beer. During lunch someone asked me what my family had got me for my birthday. Nothing I replied. She couldn't believe it.
I said I had to leave at 6AM to get here so perhaps later.
Everyone has gone to bed now I'm sitting here alone. My mother put some money in her card and I got some beer from work. I got nothing from my wife and 3 son's. My wife is always asking for money to buy people who I don't even know birthday presents. I understand it's difficult to buy stuff for someone of my age. If I need something I just buy it, it's not like I'm a child waiting for a toy. It just the thought that counts. It;'s obvious to me now all the love, lift's, help money I have given over the year's mean nothing.
I'm going away to attend an exhibition tomorrow and really wonder if I should come back. I'm probably being a drama queen, it just hurts. Feel better getting that of my chest. I've just dumped all the cards in the bin, I wonder if anyone will notice.
Comments
I'm so sorry hon
huggles
Sending you bunches of hugs,
and a PM too. You know we love you here.
Big Hugs!!!
Big Hugs
Love tmf
Happy belated birthday
It may not help when you're feeling so down. For what it's worth, sometimes you just have to make your own happiness because others can disappoint.
"Make your own happiness..."
That's some great advice
Right up there with "Just cheer up"
and "Get off the pity pot"...
Do you know Doctor Phil?
Sorry if that was rude,
I know you were just trying to help
but when it's about feeling appreciated
by others that's hard to manufacture in isolation.
I picture her sitting hunched over a donut
with a single candle on it, throwing up a handful
of rainbow confetti and forlornly tooting a party horn
while sobbing uncontrollably.... Yay, Me!!!
Happy Birthday, Lovely Leanna.
You're one of my new favorite people here
and your stories never fail to brighten my day
(well not the evil feminocracy ones, but u know how I am about that...)
I'd say let's get pissed and go vandalize something with spray paint
so it's probably best we live 11,000 miles apart.
Anyway, here's a birthday song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfEuVIlwglA
~hugs, Veronica
.
It's not birthdays that get me (I havent had one in 20 years)
I can just ignore those, it's Christmas that I hate facing alone.
It's everywhere, telling me how I'm supposed to share it
and feel all this joy with the exactly zero people in my life.
I don't begrudge other people their yuletide happiness;
but it makes me feel like a mutant who never learned
to do the human things, l'm always glad when
it's over + out of my face for another year...
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
Well free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it
I did offer the disclaimer. Damn right it's hard and often doesn't work. Works for me sometimes... anyway. Getting pissed and going to vandalize something is analogous to creating your own happiness in a different kind of way. Peace.
Hugs
Big hugs
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
-Hugs-
As someone who's kinda been there, it stings and wounds. And sadly will for awhile. -offers more hugs-
I'm also someone who's hard to buy stuff for, same reasons.
It really sucks…
When your wife and sons are like that.
I don’t know if I have any good advice to give.
But know that you have friends here who care about you and appreciate you.
Big hugs.
Gillian Cairns
Hugs Leeanna
Hon, I can understand, truly I can because I'm close to being the last. Let me make it up to you. If you will message me with your name and address, I will send you a belated birthday card from the EDGE of the WORLD. (my home). I'll put hearts and a smear of lipstick on the back side of it. I'll sign it, "Yours" and no other words. The card will be a picture of Holstein cows if I can't find one with Goats on it.
And I'll make you a bet. If your marriage doesn't get all wonkie I bet they never forget any more birthdays.
Hugs Leeanna
Barb
Life is so much fun if you can get over the potholes in it.
PS: Now let me tell you how much fun I had at the VA yesterday. Keep in mind it is a 280 mile round trip for me. I don't do it because I love to get on the Interstate parking lot with eighty thousand "other" brainless drivers. God I'm old enough to remember only a couple hundred vehicles on that same Interstate.
The doc got me in his office and the conversation went like this.
"What did you want to see me about?"
"What? You people made the appointment with me. I have no idea why."
I'm wearing a shirtwaist dress with an overcoat, carrying a purse, wearing silver earrings and a beautiful elegant ladies watch. My hair is in untamable today. fluffed out enough to make Fara Faucet jealous. I'm wearing women's sneakers since I knew today would involve a whole lot of walking.
"Are you transgendered?"
Is Halloween over? I guess it was an honest question since I never met him before. "Yes."
The other funny, there wasn't a single "sir" all morning until..., I held the door on the elevator as a man hurried on.
"Thank you man."
I looked down at my breasts, I'm showing cleavage, and then smiled and winked at the woman who got on with him. Of course females put up with being called guys and fellows all their lives. Men are so dense.
I wanted to cry as the whole VA morning was like that. Lost records, lost data between departments, lost requests for blood samples to the VA Vampires. The more I thought about it the funnier it became. Typical government, SNAFU. Go with the flow or go insane(er).
"God, is all intelligent life gone? Would you please take me home? I can't fix a stupid world."
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Thank you everyone for the
Thank you everyone for the kind words. My wife hasn't worked since we got married. I struggled to pay for her alcohol and nicotine addictions through our marriage. I worked jobs I've hated and sat in my car and cried in frustration . I worked weekends to pay the bills. My personal health suffered and developed type 2 diabetes. I had no hobbies as I couldn't afford them. While my wife was spending nearly a third of my pay on alcohol and nicotine.
She's kicked the alcohol now and I have managed to save some money. What hurts me the most is when we are shopping she often buys gifts for the neighbors friends brothers birthday. Yet this year the man who pays for everything , who struggled to do so for years got nothing.
In the past I have been asked what do you want. I usually say don't worry . I have enough money to buy anything I need, I usually say just pay for a takeaway or a bottle of booze. I never got asked this year. Perhaps that's my fault.
The fact that I dress when I'm away from home doesn't factor. No one knows anything about Leeanna, she is hidden away to protect them. My wife has not even noticed the 12 birthday cards are in the bin yet that will be a fun conversation. May even put something on my boys whatsapp group. Showing empty space saying look what I got for my birthday, and look what your all getting for your birthday and Christmas.
I'm alternating between anger and sadness.
Thanks again you lot , you are the best xxxxx
Leeanna
It might give them the message
if you give them the same for their birthdays. I stopped giving birthday presents to my son when he stopped saying thank you. My daughter always drops me a little note or card after her birthday or Christmas. When I give a gift, I expect it to be acknowledged, that is all, text, phone call email, note as much as anything to make sure they got it. It's also good manners.
It's not quite the same but one GP surgery I worked at for 20 years, didn't even give me a card when I retired. The other two I worked at had a small party and gave me a gift, the one was substantial. There is a danger we are taken for granted and it's something I won't tolerate in myself or others.
I'm sorry your birthday was so disappointing perhaps you need to show them you are head of the family and still a member of it, not just a cheque book. I hope Christmas is better for you.
Angharad
Birthdays.
So sorry, your family take you so much for granted. It's even worse when 'strangers' (ie none family) celebrate your birthday. You should have taken those 12 cards and set them out on the table or mantlepiece and ask your wife if she might have forgotten anything.
I have no idea how old your sons are but the cards might have sent them a message as well. You need to have a serious chat with your wife and not about Leeanne.
I depresses me when I hear of my sisters suffering like you for it makes me realise there are many of us out there who cannot 'come out' for all the usual reasons like losing ones job or family. I can only offer you my sympathy and what little support that missives like this one can provide. My resources no longer run to providing logistical help as I'm disposing of much of my property.
Just hang in there until the time comes when you feel you are able to live as you want to live or need to live.
Love and hugs,
Bev
xx
12 cards
Think yourself lucky, even if your family ignore the anniversary at least 12 others haven't. The last time I got that many cards for a b'day I was still at school, these days i'm lucky to get 2, my Dad and sometimes my daughter (occasionally there might be extras from friends but they can be a bit hit and miss). It's no better at Xmas, I send fewer cards these days as i'm not working, last year I got 2 family and 1 friend card compared to the dozen I sent. Yeah it sucks when there's not even a Thx for a card/gift but will continue sending as it makes me feel better - there reall is nothing worse than seeing the rest of the world buying gifts and not having any to buy yourself, however small.
Due to the dearth of gifts from others i've taken to buying them for me from me - I get what I want and there's no embarrasment in exchange value It varies what it is, a new dress, something for my bike, stuff rlating to other hobbies, a day out even.
Of course, now that i'm a Grand parent I do have a valid reason for gift buying which cheers me no end.
As regards being the family cheque book, well i've never been able to do that. Don't get me wrong, my daughter never wanted for anything but she also never expected to have the latest phone etc.
It's easy for others to tell you to get a grip, make a stand but more difficult when it's you doing it - same goes for being 'you', you may have a lot to lose, family, friends, work - the lucky ones don't have those 'complications'.
Hang in there and try not to let things stress you out.
Madeline Anafrid
Madeline Anafrid Bell
Happy Birthday!
First, don't break anything you might want later (relationships, yourself, job, ...)
---
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Happy Birthday
It's all I can say except there are a lot of people here who are with me (plus the 12 who sent you cards)!
Birthdays
Long before reading any books about hobbits I came up with the idea of giving presents to my family on my birthday. It worked.
Maybe you should announce to your family that for your birthday you celebrated by making a donation to the local foodshelf?
It's horrible to feel unappreciated. I'm so sorry you've been hurt.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thanks again for the support.
Thanks again for the support. I did get cards from them . Usually it's from my wife and she writes their names on it.
She didn't actually notice I'd thrown them away , she just asked what was wrong. Eventually I told her she got upset and said it was my fault as I left early and arrived home at 6pm?
The she said she was going to get me a dash cam . She went out for a walk and rang me to tell me she had put £60 in my wallet. I was going to give it back, then though, sod it see how she likes being a cash cow.
She earns money looking after neighbours pets when they are away. I was just about to send a message to my son's on WhatsApp.
"As we are a family that doesn't believe in giving presents, you will all get what you gave me this year . So that will save me a fortune this Christmas and your birthdays. "
Didn't send it in the end.
Leeanna
"Didn't send" ...
Sometimes that's for the best. You get the satisfaction of writing the "flame", without the damage of delivering it. (Also delete the message - prevents a mistake.)
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I have a letter to my doctor, printed and all ... debating whether to send...