Facing facts can be difficult, and the facts are that I no longer pass, especially wearing one of those horrid masks. Some are optimistic that we are at the threshold of having a viable Vaccine for Covid 19, but I won't allow my happiness to get out of hand.

For now, I am continuing to live as a woman with mask and Nike Hijab. I seldom wear pants, I hate them, and haven't worn them to any extent for 16 years. This Summer, hoping that my optimism still lives, I plan to attend some Native American Pow Wows as a male because the risk for being confronted as one who does not pass is too dire. Perhaps as the summer wears on I shall accumulate some male clothing? I want to find a Jacket and Shirt that support the Native American Culture. New Mexico Navajo is too far for me, so, I'll try to find what I want in Oregon and Washington. Happily, there is sound argument for the idea that I am Navajo, or Cherokee, at least partially. Sadly, I did not find out any of that until I began to research a couple of years ago. As is often the case in our families, my parents sternly insisted that I conceal all of that, though. A battle has raged for a long time in Eastern Oklahoma, and now it seems that the responsible agency has given over to a decision in favor of the Tribes.

Should things work out in my favor, later I will live as a man. Psychologically, I may have to allow both spirits time for expression. Please I do not wish to be confronted by any hysteria. I have chosen a Native American name and it is Haseya.

Gwen