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Stephie's (my wife's) condition continues to degrade. She was first diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's disease in 2013. She was put into hospice a year later. Since then, I've been taking care of her at home, and slowly watching her degrade over time.
The periods where she is coherent grow fewer and further between. She no longer recognizes me. She think's I'm our son.
She struggles to say simple things. I would like to think that her mind knows what she's trying to say, but it gets lost in translation to what comes out of her mouth.
I'm sitting here crying, I can't help it. This is not what she wanted, to lay in a bed, existing. What compassionate deity would trap such a gentle soul in this kind of hell?
Comments
I am so sorry
Dementia is one of the cruelest conditions we have to deal with today. At least she still has you. Try to spare some time to take care of yourself during this.
fey
I'm sorry
Just lost my Brother to this sort of thing. Just don't know what to say, but that I am sorry for your pain, and hers.
Much peace
Gwen
I can sympathize with your pain, but
having never had to deal with something like alzheimers, I can't empathize. What I can say is that it is my belief that God has a plan for every one of us and, sometimes, it's damned hard to see his purpose.
I know that this situation, for you, is the most difficult thing you have ever had to deal with and I am so sorry that your wife is suffering with this terrible disability.
Please, accept my sympathies and stay strong.
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
dementia
dementia is a terrible disease. I lost a brother and a brother in law to it. I know its tough but enjoy your wife as long as you can.
robert
I watched my mother die
of this terrible illness. My maternal grandfather also had it, so I suspect I will also have it unless a cure is found.
I am currently taking Resveratrol daily. A recent trial at Georgetown University with 119 people with mild and moderate symptoms of Alzheimers taking 1gm of Resveratrol for a year showed that those on the placebo continued to decline; those on Resveratrol did not. It's the only hope so far that there might be an end in sight.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry to hear about your wife's illness, one of my uncles is suffering with it.
I'll be honest though. [quote] I would like to think that her mind knows what she's trying to say, but it gets lost in translation to what comes out of her mouth. [/quote]
for myself, that wold be living in hell, I would rather not be able to know how bad I'm doing over having it rammed down my throat every time I try to speak.
[quote]She no longer recognizes me. She think's I'm our son.[/quote]
That has to hurt. My Great Uncle forgot everyone except his wife before he passed away. My mom was remembered as "The lady that brings Tess."
( Great Uncle Wilt and Great Auntie Tess are in the coffee table book on Canadian History 3 entries, married at 17 and 16, and through moving settled 3 new communities in Canada between WW1 and WW2 )
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.
That's awful, my deepest sympathies
Neither of my parents had Alzheimers, but both went through forms of dementia.
My mom was in and out of coherence from heart problems, brain not getting enough oxygen, confusing dreams and hallucinations for things that happened; making wild accusations, and one time treated me completely different than she ever had before, and it was only later that I realized she didn't know who I was, but knew that she was supposed to know this, and was faking it as best she could. Then she died. My Dad had brain cancer, along with just about everywhere else. We home hospiced him and it was brutal. First he thought my sister was his wife, then thought she was his mother, and then he couldn't talk at all. His heart was strong, he suffered and suffered and suffered...
But both our parents were mentally coherent up until about 6 months before they died; so I have to say Alli and I were lucky. It was so exhausting, so heartbreaking that I can't imagine enduring your years of watching someone you love decline mentally,
the hope the lucid intervals give you, and the despair when theyre taken away.
I didn't learn anything from all that except that life sure sucks sometimes
so have no advice or wisdom to tell you. but you do have
my sympathy, my empathy, and
HUGS, Veronica
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
Hope, Hugs, and Faith
Not a single one of us can truthfully say, "I know how you feel." We share our lives hoping others can find something worthwhile in what we learned. I remember the story about the lady whose mother had Alzheimers.
Why she did what she did wasn't told in the story. I also have never read anyone else trying this.
The lady gave her mother a teaspoon of DMSO in her orange juice. The next day her mother was cognitive and able to carry on a normal conversation. Where it went from there I have no idea. The story wasn't time lined. Will it work? I have no idea as I haven't dealt with those kind of situations.
There are a lot of things which can not cross the brain barrier in the spinal fluids. DMSO doesn't have that problem. The choices we make in life aren't always the right ones. I struggle the same as everyone else looking for answers as to, "God why?" Even more than most.
I pray you find the help, the answers, and comfort you seek in this life.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Thank you for your kind concern...
but I don't believe I'm going to be feeding my wife any type of industrial solvent any time soon.
Understandable
I would never ever give information on something I thought could have the remotest possibility of harm rather than help. It won't help to tell you it is also used as a paint thinner. It freezes solid at 52 degrees F. And yes it takes a leap of faith to think anyone would drink it knowing all that. Not only drink it but use it on cuts, burns, brown recluse bites, scorpion stings, wasp, sore muscles, back sprains, flu, colds, sore throat, etc.
Someone I loved more than life itself passed into God's hands while I knew without a doubt there was a cure. In time it will be my turn, again. We will have a discussion about the decisions we made and didn't make. And I will be reminded it isn't my decision but each individual has to make their own choice with their own life.
I have been drinking that "paint thinner" "industrial solvent" for more than thirty years. The running joke with our kids is, "No embalming when you die. We will toss you in a cardboard box and bury you or use you as a headstone. You'll last for centuries." Guess what they start drinking when flu or cold comes along? Yep DMSO
I brought back no pearls of wisdom nor have words of comfort. For each one must find their own in their own way. We are not vessels to be opened up and have knowledge and faith poured in. We earn it or refuse it, each to his or her own.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Hopes and prayers for you
A good friend of mine's mother recently passed away from this disheartening disease. I only have one very small ray of hope for you. Her mother had a couple of days of good coherency near the end, and during one of them, she managed to tell her daughter not to grieve for her condition. Apparently she could remember at least some of what went on during her bad spells, and she told Emily it wasn't all bad, that each day brought her something new; even if it was an old thing, it was new to her again. I don't know if she knew what she was saying or not, but I like to think she did, because she was a good woman.
My prayers are with you and your wife. May she find something new everyday.
Waterdog
Thank you Waterdog.
Yes, this is a disheartening disease, because there is no recovery. I've made my peace with the fact that one morning I'll check on her and her body will be cold and blue and it will be a blessing. She will have moved on to her next adventure, waiting patiently for me to catch up, again.