TFOS: Freddy On The Loose, Story 26
Things Get Serious! (Yeah, Right...)

by

Rodford Edmiston

Note: This story uses background and concepts from the Teenagers From Outer Space role-playing game, Copyright and Trademarked R. Talsorian Games, Inc. The characters and story are Copyright 2020 Rodford Edmiston Smith.

The ornate hall was far larger than required for the comparatively small gathering of disparate species using it, and far more ancient than any of the participants or even most of their civilizations. The very light from this world's elderly sun seemed a bit tired as it streamed through the high windows.

The meeting was comprised of fewer than thirty sapients, of a wide variety of forms. The hall was capable of automatically and comfortably accommodating all of them, and many others, as well. The attendees were influential heads of government agencies, or respected elders whose advice was considered invaluable in the matters to be discussed at this meeting. The leader - computer-chosen President Dat'ang - was in her accustomed, clear-walled, tubular tank, chosen for this function because of intimidation factor and the fluid buoyancy it provided. Given that she was among the largest and oldest of her species it just wasn't healthy for her to appear without either the support of the water, or antigrav from the hall. The water was simply more comfortable for her.

"This meeting of the Grand Highest Council of the Galaxy is now called into session!" the elaborately engraved robotic herald announced, before ritually vaporizing itself for the offense of such a lowly entity speaking before this august body.

"Alright, who dealt this mess?" was the first comment spoken on the record in the meeting by an actual member of the Council, and that came from the venerable President Dat'ang. Part of the reason for the computers choosing her as leader was due to her refusal to stand on ceremony when important things needed to be done. "We find a new planet, on the cusp of becoming a contributing member to starfaring society. Moreover, they're just starting to exhibit true powers, as opposed to knacks. The idea was to guide them into being part of and partners in interstellar culture, while learning from their development. My own nephew is on that planet, working towards that goal! What?! Happened?!"

"Well, it certainly wasn't our fault," said Supreme General Gnueton, leader of the redoubtable Benzemen. He stood and approached the President. Without asking permission, I'd like to add. He appeared too angry to stand on ceremony, though he was definitely standing to violate protocol by unnecessarily walking closer to the President. "Those meddling kids ruined our plans for dealing with the Big G!"

"Said plans would have resulted in the destruction of a planet we are trying to nurture and protect," said President Dat'ang, acidly. "You didn't even come before the Council to discus the matter. I had to learn about it from the news reports!"

"Exactly! It was a situation demanding action, not debate!"

"The entire Earth is just lucky those youths did exactly what they did," said Director of Empathy, Sardel. "They not only saved the Earth - in spite of your best efforts - they gave us important information for dealing peaceably with the Big G in the future."

"It figures that a touchy-feely wimp like you would take such a position!"

"If members of this Council weren't immune from legal prosecution I'd have you arrested for wanton endangerment of billions of lives," said Dat'ang, tiredly. "Not for the first time, either. As it stands now, you're accountable for nearly a billion sapients being displaced from their homes by your 'measures'!"

"Thank you. I try."

"That wasn't a compliment!" Dat'ang's synthesized and translated voice made the hall ring. "Argh. You are incapable of understanding the true magnitude of your incompetence."

"Again, thank you. I am well on my way to my goal of setting the record."

The oblivious Supreme General Gnueton had no idea of the looks he was earning from the other delegates. They were all behind him, and despite his frequent brag, he did not have a psionic danger sense.

"Let's come back to this later," said Dat'ang, tiredly. "The next matter on the agenda is that aliens and humans on Earth have collaborated to build an Ultimate Babysitter."

"The unit is currently inert," said the Minister of Mechanics. "Thanks in large part to your nephew. The plans are for it to stay that way for the foreseeable future. Hopefully."

"Excellent. What about evidence uncovered of past meddling on Earth by the Angels and the Architects?"

"Despite suggestions - and even actions by the Alien Control Office - to conceal important information in this matter, the interference was long enough ago that we consider the matter currently irrelevant," said Gaze, the Minister of Revelation.

"Connected with this, let's consider the failings of the Alien Control Office on the planet Earth."

"It was sabotage, I tell you!" shouted Director Hungadunga, lurching unsteadily to his feet. "Incompetents and character assassins are conspiring against me!"

"Well, now that you know, you can clean house and make certain the ACO does its job properly," said Dat'ang, firmly. "Without needing any excuses for not doing it properly from now on! Next!"

"Uh, yes, I, uh..."

Fortunately, most of the officials there had at worst done their jobs competently, with several able to report considerable progress in their part of the project. Unfortunately, by the time the others were finished Supreme General Gnueton had somehow left without being noticed. Well, he did often brag about his psionic ability to "cloud men's minds" but that didn't explain how he'd left without the females, herms and neuters in the meeting noticing. Maybe he had just snuck out while the others were distracted.

"Naturally, he leaves before I get to the part of the meeting where we consider a problem his organization will likely have to deal with," muttered the President, sourly, when she realized what had happened. "In connection to that, Minister for Criminal Activity, we will hear your report, now."

The MfCA had a way of speaking which was a bit dry and long-winded (actually, in his case long-chlorinated) but his summary left those in the meeting (well, those still there, after the Supreme General abandoned his post) worried. Even though they had expected something like his closing revelation.

"In conclusion, all cogent indications lead to intimate involvement and manipulation by the Cello Siderea crime syndicate," he finally said. "The appropriate law enforcement agencies have been notified of this and warned to watch for their additional interference on Earth. However, even if Supreme General Gnueton were still here, his organization could not be authorized to take action, since that would mean attacking the entire planet where the Cello Siderea are based, and we simply do not have sufficient justification for that. At this time.

"As for how to defend Earth from these thieves, we strongly recommend the appointment of an Inspector General. Who would then be given independent control of all our forces on Earth, including the local ACO."

There was some protest at this, mostly from Director Hungadunga. However, his objections seemed more pro forma than validly held. The other attendees realized he was actually relieved to have the thorny problem of the Earth given to someone else.

"I want to close this meeting by emphasizing that we must keep a closer watch on the Earth," said President Dat'ang. "Beyond appointing an Inspector General, which I will do immediately once I return to my office. Not only is protecting them from the depredations of special interests the right thing to do, it will benefit society in general. Including all of us, personally."

* * *

"What are you reading?" said Karen, reaching across the small table in her room and lifting Freddy's old-fashioned hardback a bit to see the cover. "Climbing Up the Eiffel Tower and Other Adventures by Semolina Pilchard."

"She was a pioneering BASE jumper," said Freddy. "Professional acrobat, human fly, etc. I'm writing a book report."

"On an old book?" said Karen, confused.

"Yeah. That was the assignment. A report on an old, actual, physical book. Not everything is digitized, even still. My uncle had this in his library. He says there's even a song about her, by some Sixties band."

"Huh. Glad that's one class we don't share."

Freddy stretched, then - reminded of her current physical condition by that action - looked down at herself and sighed.

"I'm buying a lot of unisex outfits these days."

"Well, yeah," said Karen, smirking. "My parents won't let us study together in my room unless you're a girl, and changing clothes back and forth just for that is silly.

"Oh! That reminds me. Have you signed up for the that new feminine hygiene class next semester?"

"Yes, Mother," said Freddy, rolling her eyes. "Honestly, how many of these do I need to take?"

"With all the zapping, they've added a couple," said Karen, reasonably. "Besides, I know people born female who could use them."

She gave Freddy an evil grin.

"One of the things they're teaching is safe and effective masturbation."

"They're the what?!"

"They're serious, and you can't say it isn't needed. I mean, with all the oblique questions you've asked..."

"Yes, well, that's next semester," said Freddy, blushing cutely. "We need to concentrate on the current work."

Karen nodded and pulled up the next assignment on her pad, idly thinking about how handy it was to have a boyfriend whom her parents would let her have in her room with the door closed. As an additional bonus, she and Freddy got to socialize privately without the distraction of sexual attraction. Well, theoretically. Freddy figured that as a girl she probably counted as bisexual. Though sometimes...

"Hey, you awake?" said Karen, playfully. "You're the one who said we need to get to work."

"Sorry; you derailed my thought processes with that remark about masturbation," said Freddy, in an embarrassed mutter. "So unless you're willing to give me some early instruction..."

Freddy turned bright red as she realized what she had just said. Fortunately, Karen laughed.

Eventually, they finished. Not just with homework but with socializing. This even included - to Freddy's mild distress - some girl talk. Finally, though, it was time for the part-time girl to get home.

"Oh, great," muttered Freddy, as she looked out the window. "Still raining."

They went out to the garage, where Freddy had left her bike and her rain gear.

"At least with that outfit on no-one will notice you changing," said Karen, smirking, as Freddy donned the slicker. "Just remember to change back on the way home, this time!"

"Yes, Mother," Freddy repeated.

Freddy did remember, actually. While also remembering to be thankful for the Alien Goods store, and her employee discount. In the case of clothing sold by Sooltong, "unisex" meant something different than the usage for terrestrial clothing. Freddy's bra became a thin t-shirt, her shorts reshaped to fit him, the panties grew a fly in the front. Other changes were more subtle, but within a block of Karen's house Freddy was completely male and in passably male clothing.

* * *

As school headed towards Summer vacation there was an odd feeling of tension among the faculty. The students, of course, had their own concerns, but these rarely reflected anything the adults considered important. With the occasional exception.

The school had bought a large swatch of land before beginning construction. On one part of this land, well away from all the function areas, was a stand of woods. This mostly had been left to grow wild, with only a minimum amount of management. The overgrown area was sometimes used as a place for students to indulge in unofficial activities. However, it was primarily used as a shortcut to the closest minimart. Those left unsatisfied by the official lunch would sometimes sneak through the woods to the mart to grab something more attuned to their appetites. Like a half-pound bar of chocolate. With almonds. Even Freddy - with his ability to consume pretty much anything edible - sometimes indulged. Just because he could eat something the cafeteria served didn't mean he enjoyed eating it.

On this particular covert operation Freddy, Horth Fethe, Ramet Genet and Talli Illat were quickly devouring their unapproved snacks as they hurried back to class.

"Earth food can be pretty good," said Horth, with a satisfied sigh.

"Some of it," said Ramet, almost reluctantly. Perhaps because his chocolate skin color was so close to the color of what the other alien was currently eating.

"So," said Talli, sidling up to Freddy with a scheming smile on her face. "You up for that big political rally tonight?"

"Sorry," said Freddy, absently. "Can't make it."

He actually had no idea what she was talking about, but knew better than to say so. She for some reason expected Freddy to care far more about politics than anyone actually should, at least in his opinion.

"What do you mean? I was counting on your support!"

"Now, hold on," said Freddy, protesting. "I have a date tonight!"

"Karen will understand," said Talli, firmly.

"What makes you think it's with Karen?" said Ramet, smirking. The smirk deepened. "Or even with a girl?"

Instead of responding to the friendly (?) insult, Freddy was distracted by some odd sounds from a short distance away in the woods.

"What is that? Some non-human talking to itself?"

"I don't hear anything," said Talli, doubtfully.

Freddy wasn't certain he had, either, but figured that checking would at least get him out of talking about the rally, or whatever. Besides, someone might really be in trouble. Or at least doing something the others could make fun of. He set off, the others trailing along with varying degrees of reluctance.

Soon they all heard it. What they heard was not reassuring, either. Going into stealth mode, they crept towards the sounds.

In a small clearing they found a very odd creature. It was, indeed, talking to itself, in GalFix. It was large, and looked rather fearsome, being covered in plates, spikes, fins, claws and fangs. It was also not happy.

"Stupid pirates, hiring me for my talents then prohibiting me from using those to their full expression," the thing muttered. It wasn't pacing or anything, but staying in one place. Perhaps because it had sunk partly into the forest soil. "Why hire someone as formidable as me unless you want total destruction?!"

"Is that a... Mercotan?!" said Freddy, quietly but with rapidly rising alarm.

They could all sense Horth tensing, taking a deep breath before screaming out "We're all gonna die!" the way he always did. Three pairs of hands clamped over his mouth, and the teens pulled away while he was still rigid with fright and before he could start fighting to get free and run, shrieking.

"I heard the Cello Siderea crime syndicate hired one of those monsters as an enforcer," whispered Talli, once they were far enough away from the clearing to converse quietly.

"You can't... they aren't... it isn't..." said Ramet.

"Exactly," said Talli, nodding. "Those things can claw through neutronium!"

"No, they can't," said Ramet, scornfully. "That's impossible."

"They biologically generate gravity fields so intense they can displace even condensed matter such as neutronium!" snapped Talli.

"Could you... Swap Shop it?" said Ramet, obviously realizing that wasn't likely but hoping.

"Are you kiddin?" Talli hissed. "It would twist my mind into a pretzel, then stuff it into a rat or something to torture!"

"We have to tell the police!" said Freddy, now even more alarmed.

"I doubt the entire military resources of this whole planet could stop one of those things," said Ramet. The others could tell he was already plotting how he could sneak off to his saucer and leave the planet while the getting was good.

"On that we agree," said Talli, waving her hands in desperation. "Worse, the ACO is a hopeless mess and there's not enough time to call in anyone else."

"Wait," said Freddy. "What about Yubi?"

"That might just work," said Talli, frowning.

The started to creep away, but Talli stopped them.

"Listen," she whispered. "It's talking again."

The held quiet for a moment.

"Wait ten hours then capture all the students," it muttered in GalFix. "Bring them back here for pickup. Bunch'a nonsense, y'ask me. Wait ten hours. Capture all the students. Come back here. Hey, wait; they didn't say anything about what condition the students should be in. I'm hungry! Maybe I can eat a few arms and legs on the way. Or just save the brains! That's all they really want! I mean, that's the best part, but I guess I should make some sacrifices to give my employers what they want..."

By this time Talli had grabbed all of the others with her super strength and was using her super speed to vacate the area.

* * *

"Call everybody!" yelled, Horth, as the quartet - all but Talli rather bruised and winded - rushed into Hub's lab. "There's a mercotan in the woods!"

"Yeah, right," said the big guy, rolling his eyes. "I'm not in the mood for one of your pranks."

"It's true!" gasped Ramet.

"You're even less of a reliable source than Horth," said Hub, turning ponderously towards the new arrivals. "Though for different reasons. He's merely excitable, but you scheme..."

"Look, I saw it and heard it, too," said Talli, quickly. "So did Freddy! It is here to kidnap all the students. Not necessarily intact, either!"

Okay, that Hub believed.

"What do we do?!" screamed Horth, actually vibrating in place. "What can we do?!"

"Can Yubi take one of those things?" said Freddy, getting back to his previous idea.

"Hmmmm, probably," said Hub, rubbing his chin with a sound like a concrete scrubber at work. "We'd need Dr. Sumt'ang to provide the pass..."

"Can't you just enter the password?" said Talli, exasperated by what she saw as the large student's too-strict adherence to the rules in an emergency.

"Uhm, Dr. Sumt'ang set the password," said Hub, looking embarrassed. "With his unusual - uhm - impediment, he's the only one who can actually type it correctly. I'll call him."

"Do it!" yelled Ramet, perhaps realizing the others would not let him sneak off to escape. "We don't know how much time we have!"

He was already edging towards the outside door - probably to head for his saucer - only to find Talli and Freddy in his way. Thus confirming his evaluation of both their own lack of any sense of self-preservation and their willingness to sacrifice others for their delusional nobility.

"Well, it was supposed to wait ten hours, but we don't know when the timer started and it was getting, uhm, hungry..." said Freddy, as he and Talli herded Ramet back towards the others.

Dr. Sumt'ang didn't like being interrupted from teaching, but trusted Hub enough to hurry to the lab in spite of that when the huge rhino-whale type guy sent him an emergency call. By that time, Hub had a drone flying over the small patch of forest.

"Okay, there it is," he said, sounding (well, for Hub) very distressed. "It's a mercotan, all right. Oh, Dr. Sumt'ang! Good, you're here. I just verified that there is, indeed, a mercotan in the woods."

"Warned about I was this," said the a four foot tall purple fireplug, as he trotted in on his four stumpy legs, excitedly waving the four muscular tentacles surrounding his top. Even though no official announcement had been made - or even an unofficial one - quite a gathering was forming in the room, of mostly students; fortunately, the AI lab was intended to be very roomy. "Believe attack so soon come would just I didn't. Impressive so neither it would be did I believe."

"It wants to eat the students!" was Horth's hysterical contribution.

"We think that Yubi can either stop it, or delay it long enough to at least evacuated the school," said Hub, quickly.

Dr. Sumt'ang thought furiously for a couple of seconds, then moved to the storage tube for Yubi. He ripped off the cover.

"She's naked!" said Freddy, Ramet and Talli, staring.

"Call an ACO emergency to place the," Dr. Sumt'ang said, as he quickly began working at the control panel, ignoring the randy youngsters.

"She extrudes the clothing from her skin, once activated," said Hub, distractedly, as he pulled out his phone.

Dr. Sumt'ang fired up the equipment and began the process of making Yubi operational again. Hub helped after finishing his rather rushed call to the ACO. The other three decided that maybe keeping tabs on the threat might be a good idea, and moved to the viewplate showing what the probe saw.

"Power to batteries atomic," said Doctor Sumt'ang, checking things off on his pad. "Speed turbines to. Reactivated function G.K.R. Function spindizzy reactivated emulation. To maximum clock processor speed set. A worse not monster hope we're making than the we want her to just, let's subdue one."

Abruptly, the android Model 307L opened its eyes.

"Children danger in are!" shouted Dr. Sumt'ang, quickly, hoping to trigger the Ultimate Babysitter's priority protective codes before she could decide to do something else on her own. "Mercotan a woods the in is!"

Fortunately, Yubi was able to parse that. She left with a bang. Leaving a large hole in the roof. Debris rained down on the athletic field, startling several students and the school's two gym teachers.

"Do we still have visual on the mercotan?" said Hub.

"Huh?" said Freddy. "Oh. Yeah. Oh! There she is! Wearing what looks like a jumpsuit!"

"I just hope the drone can survive what those two will be doing," said Hub, pulling the small probe back some. He actually sounded eager. "I want to see this!"

Yubi almost caught the mercotan completely by surprise, coming in feet first with a stomp attack, going for a purely physical opening maneuver. However, the strange creature managed to dodge, if barely. Yubi shot a plane of force at it from short range, which it barely parried. In response, it then clawed at her, nearly piercing her own protections. The battle escalated quickly from there. In fact, the two combatants were soon moving with such alacrity that there was no way the merely organic observers could keep up. Generations of analysts would study the recording Hub made of the battle, microsecond by microsecond.

Beams, planes, wedges and corkscrews of lambent force speared the air and dug deep into the soft earth. Only the school's defensive screens in one direction and the curvature of the planet in the others kept the damage from extending beyond the woods (well, the minimart lost its roof, and was fortunate that was the only damage it suffered). Woods which soon were reduced to homogenous, pulpy, steaming muck. All students and staff outside headed into one of the buildings very, very quickly.

Fortunately, even those two titans could not maintain that level of output for long. After only seconds, the magnitude of effects began fading. Soon, they were only detectable by the probe and a few instruments at the school.

The observers in the AI lab could see that both combatants were still active, but had been so reduced by the stresses and strains of the opening phases of their fight they were currently limited to occasionally slapping ineffectually at their opponent's face.

"Mercotans have fast regeneration," said Hub, studying the display. "Yubi has quick nanotech repair functions. The fight won't stop just because they're exhausted, injured or damaged. What we need is a stasis bubble, only I don't think there's a field generator at the school. They're too easily used to cause damage."

"So who do we know who has one?" said Jim.

"It might actually be faster to build one," said the rhino-whale guy, looking through his library of gadget plans. "We have a fablab here. If I can just find an appropriate plan..."

"That be necessary not may," said Dr. Sumt'ang. "ACO on is way the."

"They are?!" said all the students present, surprised not only that the ACO could respond so quickly, but that their teacher thought they might actually be useful.

"Exactly job this sort of purview within their is. Aliens their controlling part job dangerous of is."

"Well, something's happening!" said Hub, pointing back to the display.

A silvery sphere formed around the combatants. As well as a good chunk of the now-homogenized woods. Hub quickly swerved the point of view of the drone around to reveal the largest saucer any of them had ever seen, hovering over the area of devastation.

"Wait. That's not an ACO ship," said Horth, always eager to point out something to worry about. "In fact, I don't see any markings on it, at all. We're doomed!"

"Could it be that whoever sent the mercotan is trying to retrieve it?" said Freddy, alarmed. "With Yubi along for the ride?!"

"If so, they now hold captive two of the most dangerous types of creatures in the universe!" said Horth, even more alarmed than Freddy. "Now we're really doomed!"

"Not yet, they don't!" said Hub, as he frantically started working on something.

However, before he could even get whatever this quick project was properly underway, the thieves were interrupted. An even larger saucer appeared, and used its drive field to force the merely huge vessel to the ground. Very forcibly. With a huge Splat! and splash of muck from what was left of the former woods. The newcomer did have markings, which translated as "Inspector General for Earth."

"The stasis bubble is still stable!" said Hub, relieved. "Though I bet they don't let us have Yubi back."

"Good riddance," said Ramet.

"Is it just me or is it hot in here?" said Freddy.

"We're on the side of the school closest to the woods," said Hub, with a casual shrug like a small rock slide. "Just some waste heat leaking through the screens."

ACO agents in powered assault armor jumped down onto the pirate saucer and began forcing the hatches. The pirates tried to fight back, but the larger saucer simply used a force plane to start slicing the pirate vehicle into sections. They pirates soon surrendered, and could be seen marching out of the various hatches, gaps and rents, masks askew and paws in the air.

"They're robber mice*?!" said Freddy.

"Some people hypothesize that the reason they're so nasty and ruthless is that they feel inferior to larger species," said Hub.

A very dignified, human-appearing alien walked down a glowy force ramp from the ACO saucer to the ground near where the prisoners were being gathered. He was in a customized version of the Alien Control Office uniform, with added short cape. He made the garb look both comfortable and fashionable.

For the most part he simply observed, letting the field officers do the work while ignoring the gibes of the pirates. When the prisoners were finally loaded aboard the ACO saucer the officer in charge of the operations to mop up the pirates went to the high officer, saluted and reported. After receiving the report, the high officer nodded, then gave some orders with gestures. While those on the ground finished the cleanup, he turned and marched towards the school. He made it look like a casual walk.

* * *

"Good afternoon. I am ACO Inspector General for Earth Igroeg," said the tall, handsome, very dignified man, every blond hair in the exact right place. "I want to assure you that the current threat to this institution and its students and staff is over. Furthermore, the ACO will from now on focus on doing its dual job of protecting the natives from outsiders, and those from outside who choose to live here from inappropriate native actions. Instead of being obsessed with committing politics, as the previous ACO administration for Earth was."

This was one of the most interesting gymnasium assemblies the school had ever hosted. As well as one of the quietest. This Inspector General radiated friendly but firm charisma. Even the normally rowdy students were paying respectful attention. Freddy was favorably impressed. Looking around, he could see that so were many of his classmates and even many teachers. Of course, the more skeptical remained, well, skeptical. Ramet and Talli chief among them. That cynicism being one of the few things they had in common.

* * *

Things got back to normal pretty quickly after that. The school announced that the mulched woods would be turned into a carefully manicured park, complete with a barrier fence which would extend all around the
school property. Which upset pretty much everybody a bit, since that would make sneaking off to the minimart that much more difficult. Those who had sicced Yubi on the mercotan needed several hours to realize that there had been no mention of her or the creature in any official statement from the ACO. Hub and Dr. Sumt'Ang immediately filed a request for the return of their school project upon this realization, but admitted there was little chance of even getting anything beyond a formal and undetailed reply, much less compliance.

The next day, as lunch was winding down, Freddy was sitting with his friends in the cafeteria when Miss Furrpect pointed the small group out to a visitor.

"Now what?" said Freddy, as the smiling man approached.

"Freddy Luger? Good afternoon," said the man, as he offered his hand. "I am Nicholas Robert Steele."

"Nick, Rob, Steal," said Jim Connors, startled. The others smirked. Horth actually laughed out loud.

"Uhm, yes," said the man, smile slipping. "Well. I am a field representative for the United Nations Nutritional Supplementation Program. (No, it is not pronounced 'unzip.') We - the organization I represent - want to make use of your unique perspective on matters of current social relevance."

"You're not from that gender normalizing group again, are you?" said Freddy, both suspicious and hostile. "I told you that not only would I not support your propaganda about gender polarity but to never come back. You're not even from the actual government!"

"Uh, no," said the man, looking confused. "We want to evaluate the palatability of alien foods as emergency rations for troops and refugees."

"Uh..." said Freddy, audibly clashing his mental gears.

"What sort of pay are you offering?" said Ramet, barely beating the slightly less mercenary Talli.

Freddy had no current interest in another job, but as the man and Ramet negotiated and Talli occasionally asked questions and made suggestions he began to realize he might have very little to way in the matter. Soon, Hub - the closest thing to a tycoon among the students - started chiming in.

"Why are you helping them?!" Freddy hissed at the big guy.

"Huh? Don't you want to earn more money?"

The two of them got into a huddle, over the lunchroom table, while the human bureaucrat and pair of alien teens talked.

"Okay, from what this guy is saying I could earn a nice bit of change, but I have a good job at Sooltong's and don't really have more time for working than I already spend there. Also, how could importing alien food be cheaper than growing it here?"

"You missed something," said Hub, smirking. "They are planning to install imported alien nutrient synthesizer machines where needed to make the food locally, from sources humans don't have the tech to exploit yet. They just want your evaluation of how palatable certain things - which I'm pretty sure you've already eaten - are."

"Oh. I did miss that. I'm still not sure..."

"It would benefit the poor and hungry!" said Karen, emphatically.

With a slow, sinking feeling, Freddy realized he was about to get another job.

*With apologies to Breaking Cat News: http://www.gocomics.com/breaking-cat-news

This story is Copyright 2020 Rodford Edmiston Smith. Anyone wishing to reprint or repost it must have permission from the author, who can be reached at: [email protected]