The Girl Inside the Boy : Part 4 Chapter 3

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The Girl inside the Boy

Carla


Part Four Chapter Three



by Roo

Editing by Bronwen

Previously

We arrived back at the apartment and went to bed by nine pm. Jenny, Samantha and myself slept in a threesome hug all night to keep Jenny from worrying about her parents. Before I went to bed Mummy asked me to go to the bathroom because she wanted to make sure I was healing alright but it was to talk about what Jean had said to me. When Jean was communicating with me Mummy concentrated as well and also heard the message.

She said, “Carla we will be home just after lunch tomorrow so all we can do is wait and see what has happened to Jan ok?”

“Ok Mummy.”

We were at the airport on time and Rodney was checking out the plane for the return flight back to Quilpie. Nobody said much on the flight home. Mummy and I were worried about what had happened to Jenny's Mum and Jenny was worried about her parents break-up and felt hurt. I thought she was going to need me more than ever now.

---oooOOOooo---

Thursday 16/7/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a smooth flight home. Rodney is a really good pilot and the new Cessna was really comfortable inside and not very noisy like Tom's chopper, but the chopper is more fun to be in. Daddy was waiting for us at the aerodrome when Rodney taxied right up to where Daddy had the Land Rover parked with all the refuelling gear ready to refuel the Cessna for its next flight. As we all got out of the plane Uncle Tony turned up in his new Land Rover to take us home and leave Daddy to refuel Rodney’s plane .

Daddy gave us all a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said he will see us in about an hour.

Mummy said, “Hey mister, come back here and give me a proper kiss or I will have to break your legs.”

Daddy replied, “Oh Donna darling, I didn't see you there.”

“Watch it” said Mummy and grabbed Daddy by his shirt and gave him one of her toe-curling kisses.

Daddy said, when Mummy finished the kiss, “Darling you can break my legs any time you want.”

Both Jenny and I said in unison rolling our eyes, “Please get a room!!”

Uncle Tony also gave us three ladies a hug and a kiss on the cheek and loaded all our bags into the back of his Land Rover and waited for us to get in so he could drive us home.

Tony pulled into the restaurant to pick up some lunch so we all got out and walked inside to be greeted by Rita, Linda, and Alice. Rita come and hugged me and said, “Is it all done little sister?”

I replied, “Yeah I’m exactly like you now Sis and I can have babies too.”

Rita said, “Slow down Carla, you are only nine years old.”

I replied with a cheeky grin, “I've had my first period so I am a woman now.”

Alice and Linda laughed when I said that, and Mummy said, “Carla you might have had your first period but it might take you a bit longer to become a woman.”

I replied, “Yeah whatever.” and rolled my eyes, which set both me and Jenny of into a fit of giggles.

Uncle Tony said, “Hoy!! what about some service over here at the counter?”

Rita said, “Ok–ok, keep your shirt on Uncle Tony.”

He replied, “Never mind about my shirt. Food! is what I need.”

Once the banter was finished, Mummy gave a hand to make some sandwiches for us to take home.

I asked Rita, “Where is aunty Bella?”

“Oh she went to the dentist just before you lot came barging in here demanding food.” while she was looking at Uncle Tony. Don't look at me, they made me do it.” pointing at us. Anyway we got our food and said bye to Rita and the others and got into Uncle Tony's Land Rover and went home.

When we arrived Ginger was so exited to see my she actually knocked me over and started licking my face.

I said, “Yuck Ginger, I love you too but not your big wet tongue.” I couldn't even get up till Mummy grabbed her by the collar and made her sit and behave. Then Jenny knelt down and put her arms around Gingers neck and gave her a hug.

Jenny said, “Ginger, at least you love me, my Mum and Dad don't.”

Uncle Tony looked at Mummy, but she shook her head to give Uncle Tony the message not to say anything more.

We carried all our things into the house and then set about eating a late lunch. Daddy walked through the kitchen door just as we were unwrapping the sandwiches and said, “I hope there are enough sandwiches so I can have some too?”

Mummy replied, “Of course darling, would I not feed my beautiful man?”

Another kiss was in order. Daddy said, after Mummy kissed him, “Wow, twice in one day, I hope this keeps happening after we're married?”

After lunch, Daddy and Tony went back to work, and Mummy said, “We should all have a bit of a lay down, especially you Carla. I don't want you straining those stitches.”

Both Jenny and I replied, “Yes Mummy.”

I think it made Jenny fell better when she was allowed to get away with that and Mummy really didn't mind being called mummy by Jenny because we had become almost like twin sisters anyway. We had a sleep for about half an hour and got off the bed, had a drink and went outside to throw the ball with Ginger because she needs the exercise and there was nobody to give her that while we were away. It was getting quite cold and there was a westerly wind blowing most of the day so that made it even colder. In the morning there would be a white frost covering the last remaining grass in the yard.

I gave Ginger her meal and she went into her kennel but she does not get tied up because she is allowed to come into my room at night if she wants to. Fluffy is her own boss and does whatever she wants, which is sleep most of her days away in the warm sun on the verandah.

It was getting late and beginning to get dark outside so Jenny and I went into the warm kitchen which was always warm because of the combustion stove that never went out and I had to keep the wood box beside it filled up with chopped wood.

Jenny and I helped Mummy peel the potatoes and other vegetables. The meat had been put on at three o’clock to let it cook slowly. It was a topside roast and it was now time to put the veggies in with the roast and in an hour's time it would be ready to serve. Jenny and I went into the lounge to watch some telly till tea time.

Jenny said, “Carla, what am I going to do if Mummy and Daddy don’t come back?”

I replied, “Sis they will, but if they don't, well!! Mummy has gained another daughter hasn't she?”

Jenny had tears running down her face and she said, “Carla I’m scared about what will happen to me.”

I hugged her tight and said, “Jenny we all love you, so stop worrying will you?”

Mummy called out to us and said, “Alright girls, time to set the table - everyone is home now so we can eat.”

Rita and Daddy were talking in the lounge about changing something in the restaurant kitchen when Mummy said, “Don't you two go change anything in that kitchen without you telling me or there will be trouble!!” while she was pointing at them with a pair of tongs.

Both Rita and Daddy said “Yes ma'am” standing to attention and saluting her.

It all settled down after that and we sat down to eat a baked roast, potatoes, and veggies. There was also mummy's home made gravy,- yummy. For desert there was ice cream and tinned pears. It was winter time and the garden was growing cabbage, beetroot and carrots. so no strawberries that night.

After dinner we all helped clean up and put everything away and went into the lounge where Daddy had turned on the kerosene heater to warm up the large room. Before Daddy turned on the telly, Mummy brought Daddy and Rita up to date on everything that had happened over the last week that we were away.

Jenny was in tears when she said to Mummy, “Don't forget to tell them about my Mum and Dad splitting up, and that they don’t want me any more.”

“Oh Jenny I’m sorry, sweetheart.” replied Daddy and he sat down beside her and held her while she sobbed into his shoulder. The sadness effected all of us and the telly didn't get turned on and we all retired to our bedrooms.

I was lying in bed beside Jenny and had my arm around her as she fell asleep. I could feel Jean trying to communicate with me and as I closed my eyes she was in my mind telling me to come to Mummy's bedroom, I gently got out of bed and slipped out of the room, down to Mummy's bedroom. Mummy knew what I was there for and whispered, “Come in to bed with me and Daddy darling.”

I climbed in under the covers and Mummy said, “I think Jean has something to tell us Carla.”

Mummy and I closed our eyes and saw Jean sitting at the end of the bed and she said, “Mummy, tell Daddy to hold your hand and close his eyes and not open them and he will be able to hear me as well.” Mummy did as Jean said and Daddy joined us in this communication with my twin sister.

Jean said. “It is sad news for Jenny but her Mum has crossed over into the spirit world. I had to wait tell you this because the doctors were still trying to save her but failed. I wish I could have done something but she was hurt too badly and passed over. Carla, Jenny is going to need you and me to be close to her.” and then Jean faded as she said, “I love you.”

Daddy lay there in shock and said nothing.

Mummy said, “Carla, go and get back into bed with Jenny and say nothing. We must not try to change the way this is happening, do you understand?”

“Yes Mummy, I understand.” I went back and got back into bed without waking Jenny up, but I did not go to sleep.

It was midnight when the phone rang, and I heard Mummy answer it. “Hello yes this is she, yes her daughter is staying with me. No, that is not a good idea. Yes in the morning. Can I have your number please? Thank you bye.”

Mummy went back into her bedroom and I heard her talking softly to Daddy. I must have dropped of to sleep because it was daylight when opened my eyes. We must have slept in because when I looked at the radio clock it said eight o'clock. We weren’t going back to school till Monday so I suppose Mummy let us sleep.

Friday morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenny and I got up and had a shower together and got dressed in some warm winter clothes and went to the kitchen where Rita, Daddy, and Mummy were about to make Jenny's world fall apart.

Jenny said, “Good morning all, and said why is everyone still here and not at work?”

Mummy said “Jenny, come and sit down beside me sweetheart. I have something to tell you.”

Jenny said, “It's about my parents isn't it Aunty Donna?”

Mummy replied and held Jenny's hands and said, “Sweetheart, your mummy had a bad car accident and was hurt really bad and she passed away last night while the doctors were trying to save her but she didn't make it.” Jenny didn't speak and just stared at Mummy. Mummy kept hold of Jenny's hands and pulled her in close but didn't speak, she just held her tight and had tears streaming down her face as she looked over to me.

I couldn’t stop my tears from coming and put my arm around Jenny who was now shaking but not crying, she has gone into shock. Daddy got up and went to the phone and called Doctor Ryan and told him to come quickly.

Rita was stunned and couldn’t speak. She also had tears running down her cheeks and knelt down and in front of Jenny and took one of her hands.

All of a sudden Jenny let out a loud scream and then started to wail and kept saying, “Nooo---nooo, not dead!” There were no tears, she was shaking and wailing but no tears, Mummy just kept holding on to her and after about five minutes of shaking she finally let the tears come.

Daddy came back into the room and went straight to Jenny and picked her up and carried her into the lounge and lay her down on the couch and said, “Jenny, Doctor Ryan will be here in a minute and give you something to calm you down ok?”

Jenny sat up and put her arms around Daddy's neck and and cried into his chest.

Daddy just said “I know it hurts darling. It will be alright, I am here for you.”

Jenny's sobbing slowed down as Daddy held her and gently stroked her hair. Jim Ryan was there and came over to where Jenny was being held by Daddy and said “Jenny sweetheart, I am going to give you a needle to relax you ok?”

Jenny just nodded and the doc gave her the needle. Daddy didn't let go of Jenny and just sat there rocking her till she fell asleep in his arms. Daddy's face was now also wet from tears and his nose was starting to run so I got some tissues and kept wiping his eyes and nose He is my special Daddy and I love him.

Doctor Ryan gave Mummy some pills for Jenny in case she couldn't settle down when she woke up. I was beside myself and really didn't know what to do next.

Mummy could see I was in trouble and came and hugged me and said, “Carla sweetheart, you are going to have to be really strong and help Jenny cope with her grief. If you need help ask Jean to tell you what to do. We will get through this one way or another.”

“Yes Mummy I’ll be strong.”

While Daddy stayed with Jenny, Mummy rang Sydney to find out what had happened. Jenny's mum was hit by a large truck head on and it was found that she was on the wrong side of the road. I asked Mummy later, and it looked like Jan had done it on purpose. Rita got a taxi to go to work. Daddy stayed home so he could be there for Jenny. He probably remembered his son Paul doing the same thing.

When Jenny woke up she was calm because the needle that the doc gave her still effected her, and Mummy even got her to eat something. None of us had eaten any breakfast so we were all hungry. Jenny came out into the kitchen and started talking normal again and she said to me, “Carla you knew didn't you?”

I didn't know what to do so I just told her the truth and said, “Jean said your Mum is on the other side and that is all I know Jenny.”

Jenny replied, “Yeah, well it should have been Daddy - he made mummy do it.”

I said, “Jenny, she was on the wrong side of the road.”

Jenny said “Now I know why she wanted me to stay with you.”

Jenny's Dad rang and said he was going to come home and sort out the funeral arrangements. Jan's remains would be flown to Charleville and then brought to Quilpie by road from there. He wanted to talk to Jenny but she said “No” and she will never talk to him again. This was really hard for me. Every time I tried to talk to Jenny the lump in my throat just got big and I started getting tears in my eyes so I ended up just giving her another hug.

Mummy said “Just be with her Carla, you cant do any more.” Jenny was now just staring into space and not saying anything.

I went to get a drink and Mummy said quietly, “Carla it is part of the grieving process and she will have to work through it, so don’t make her talk but be with her. She will get angry and cry, but it has to come out if she is going to survive this.”

The rest of the day I stayed with Jenny constantly. We both cried and laughed at the same time, and then at four in the afternoon Jenny said. “Carla I need to be by myself for a bit. I will go and sit on the verandah, I just need to think, I'll be ok now.”

I replied, “Jenny, please don’t shut me out. I want to help you through this and I love you.”

Jenny said, “Carla,- sis — I -I - need to think but I will not shut you out - ever.”

I replied, “I'll just be inside ok?” I walked inside and the dam broke. I had to run to the other side of the house and out the back so Jenny couldn’t hear me.

Rita came looking for me and found me out in the backyard on my knees sobbing and praying to God asking what this is all about.

Rita said, “Carla, you have to be strong for Jenny. You are the closest person to her, so have your cry and get back and stay with her.”

I replied in between sobs, “She - w–aa--n-nts to b-e-e alone.”

“Go back and hold her and talk to her. Tell her everything will be ok. Don’t let her out off your sight. We don’t want her running of somewhere.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and went back out to where Jenny was still sitting staring into space.

She turned to me and said “Carla thanks, I love you too and I will get over this.” She then said, “Carla you said something earlier that Jean told you Mummy was on the other side. Does that mean I will be able to talk to Mummy through you?”

I replied, “I don't know Jenny, but we can try if you want.”

We went and told Mummy what we were about to do and Mummy said, “Come to the bathroom first and I will wash your faces with some cold water. Your eyes are that red from crying it's a wonder you can see out of them.”

Mummy said, “Jenny, do you want me to be with you while Carla tries to make contact with your Mum?”

“Yes Aunty Donna please.”

It was already dark outside so we went to my bedroom and the three of us lay down on my Queen sized bed. Mummy was in the middle holding both our hands.

I said, “Here goes, close your eyes.”

Jean was already there and said, “Jenny, I am sorry for your grief and pain but your Mummy is here with me to say goodbye to you.”

Jenny's mum was wearing a beautiful white gown and said as clear as day, “Jenny sweetheart, I am ok. Don’t blame Daddy for what has happened. I love you.” and then she faded.

Jenny didn't have a chance to say anything before her Mummy was gone but Jean said, “She will find happiness here Jenny.” and then Jean said, “I have used up all my energy and will have to go now” and she faded as she said “I love you.”

Jenny said, “Carla, do you think I will see Mummy again?”

I replied, “I don’t know Jenny but probably not for a while. It must have taken an awful lot of energy for Jean to have done that.”

Jenny said, “Carla, did you see what Mummy was wearing? It was the most beautiful gown I have ever seen.”

I said, “Yeah, I bet they don’t make them to look like that here.”

Jenny smiled for the first time that day and said, “Aunty Donna — Mummy.” and Mummy just said “It's ok Jenny darling, you can call me Mummy if you want.”

Jenny's Dad came to talk with Jenny and wanted her to come home with him but Jenny flatly refused and said she would stay with us or she would run away. Her Dad then had a long conversation with Mummy and Daddy and left.

The funeral was held on Wednesday the twenty second of July at ten am. Most of the town was there. Jenny and I had three red roses that we put on the coffin as it was being lowered into the ground and we both knelt down and said the Lords Prayer. A lady was singing 'Amazing Grace' as the coffin went down into the earth and Father Brian started to say a prayer Jenny was not crying but held onto Mummy's hand as we walked away from her Mothers grave.

Author's note: This has been a hard chapter to write and has brought back sad memories of my childhood. My friend Jenny ''not her real name'' still keeps in touch with me after sixty years.

Kozzi-beautiful-fairy-posing-over-white-312x416.jpg

Jean

To be continued.

Next time: life and school goes back to normal. School, school holidays and the wedding getting close !!

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Comments

So sad....

Andrea Lena's picture

...your heart and soul connection with your friend came through so painfully vivid and personal, Roo. Thank you for sharing this; it must have been very hard.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Five Hankies

joannebarbarella's picture

Actually more, because I was using Kleenex and still am. That was a 'Drea-strength sobbing chapter. Can't use higher praise than that,

Joanne

The Girl Inside the Boy : Part 4 Chapter 3

Wonder if Jenny's Mum will start paying her visits from the Spirit World?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Thank you Roo,

I will not enter into conjecture as to what you will write in
other chapters,that is for you to do as the author,but you certainly
hit some nerves in this posting and the hankies really got a
workout.Very sad, as I know who you are thinking of at
this time.Hugs.

ALISON