With apologies to Clement C Moore and Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Suess)

It was Christmas Eve night throughout my small house,
And my creatures were stirring including my pet mouse.
He, with the others, were running their feet,
Through hair stacked on wig stands I'd tried to keep neat.

It was really quite odd, but I guess you'd say funny,
I worried a lot 'cause, you know, wigs cost lots of money.
Mousie put on a show and caught me off guard,
He'd made little costumes from things I'd discard.

He was really quite cute, you could say he amazed me,
When Mousie put on a dress I gave him what praise be.
Dresses of sequins and red, trimmed with a little white fur,
Were very, very short to show where his legs were.

The neckline plunged rather close to his heart,
And his makeup, I'd say was a real work of art.
I don't know how he did it, 'cause my mind's in a quandary,
He must have hoarded bits and pieces when I'd do my laundry.

He had a red wig and the look he achieved,
Was well worth the effort for the cheers he'd received.
He looked just like Miley, Miss Cyrus would faint,
Knowing a mouse could do her so well like some drag queens just can't.

He was tiny and small, he performed on my floor,
But the show he put on really wasn't a boor.
He sang and he touted all his animal friends,
He touted me too and that made my wits bend.

We really weren't listening to the sounds on my roof,
But some soot came a'falling and hit my dog, “Woof!”
Mousie sang and he sang, the fireplace quit spouting,
An elf-man came through and immediately started counting.

The old man took notice of my mouse on the floor,
Then he said something like “I've never seen that before!”
Well I was amazed, the jolly man was laughing and he cheering,
My own dear pet mouse had Saint Nick on the ceiling!

Santa was pleased, left us presents galore,
Some of his things I'd never seen in a store.
One gift was perplexing but really quite cute,
It was a mouse-sized box filled with little mouse boots.

My mouse had asked Santa for the gifts he'd received,
Knowing full well that the fat man believed.
Mousie, like some drag queens have a rare and strange talent,
Aping actors and singers in a grand gala event.

And before Santa left, I heard him exclaim,
“Merry Christmas to you, friend, but I think you're insane.
Show your mouse to the world, they'll love and adore him.
Do it now, girl! Do it now! You could make it on CNN.”

I thought for a moment 'bout the words Santa said,
They went floating around and around in my head.
And I took Santa's words and found Mousie an agent,
And soon Mousie moved out, ain't seen him since then.

I heard rumors galore of a mouse who'd hit Vegas,
Sure, they're just rumors, did someone say Viejas?
“A mouse singing Miley?” would you believe it?
“A mouse singing Miley? Sure! It would be a big hit!

That Christmas Eve night of not too long ago,
Still stirs in my mind like a fresh drift of snow.
I stayed up for Santa last Christmas Eve night,
Santa'd run into a Mouse that very same flight.

Said Mousie moved in with “Elvis”, (a rat show imitates him),
Said Mousie had a sex-change and now Mousie's name's “Kim”.
They've tried having babies but you know what they say,
“A girl mouse, ex-boy? Having babies? No way!”

But I think that she'll do it, thinking back to that night,
When I saw her do Miley, it was really quite right.
She did everything perfect, not a thing had a flaw,
How'd Mousie do it? How'd she do it at all?

She had a girl in her, I always did know it,
She, though, like me, was just scared to show it.
And medical miracles may well be on their way,
Until then, my friend, have a grand Christmas day!