Shame and Desire Chapter 54

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No words were spoken for the rest of the trip. It was silent the whole way back, but this was a warm, comfortable silence, much unlike the tense, awkward one on those first few trips to the mall at the start of the summer. Nothing more needed to be said, a feeling both Sierra and Elise knew well.

Sierra gazed out her window, watching the sun begin to set in the horizon. She hadn't realized they’d been out for so long. It was getting all too easy to lose track of time these days.

By the time the two got back to Sierra’s house, the sky was well on its way to dusk. Elise parked her car and kissed Sierra as soon as it was stopped. When they exited it and got to the porch, they immediately found a nice place on the wall to stick to, and they made out. They kissed passionately, lovingly, and a bit impatiently, as if they were greedy for something more.

Elise backed out of the kiss, cupping Sierra’s cheek. “You are so beautiful.”

Sierra took Elise’s hand in her’s, blushing. “I love you.”

Elise giggled. “You like being called beautiful don’t you?” She asked. “That’s a very good thing. You are a very beautiful girl.”

“Oh I don’t know if I’d go-”

“I would.” Elise interrupted her with a kiss. “And I’m right.”

Sierra fiddled around with Elise’s hand a bit before she realized what she was doing and let it go. Elise laughed when she did, finding the whole thing amusing.

“I have a surprise for you.” Elise said.

“What is it?”

“Just hold on.” Elise answered, grabbing her purse and combing through it.

Sierra stood and waited as Elise searched. She didn’t need to ask, she knew in her heart that whatever Elise was searching for would be very important.

And she was right.

Elise pulled out a box of condoms, her face displaying an excited smile.

Sierra looked down, unsure of how to process the surprise. She was sure that somewhere deep in her mind, she was anticipating this. But now that it was here…

“Are you okay with this?” Elise asked.

Sierra turned back to her, a range of emotions running through her head that was so large she couldn’t tell what they were. But there was one thing going through her that she could detect.

Adrenaline.

Whatever was going on in her head, she was pumped. And looking at Elise, Sierra could tell she was pumped too.

Sierra nodded excitedly, giggling wildly alongside Elise as they took each other’s hands and ran into the house. After they shut and locked the door, it felt like they were the only people in the world. They ran up to Sierra’s bedroom and repeated the same process with her door, furthering that feeling.

Elise pinned Sierra to a wall and kissed her hungrily. Her tongue leapt into her mouth with no hesitation, and Sierra gladly met it with her own tongue. Little moans of pleasure came from their mouths, Sierra not even remembering to give her hatred of her voice a passing thought. They hugged each other tight, every second away was a second too much.

Still hugging Sierra, Elise took her mouth off for a bit and stared deeply into Sierra’s eyes. Her blue irises appeared more elegant to her now than ever before. The sight of Sierra’s soul must’ve been a very beautiful thing.

Elise reached her hands down to the hem of Sierra’s shirt, waiting for the signal to go on. She got it quickly with a nod, and soon the shirt was off.

Taking after her, Sierra reached down to the hem of Elise’s shirt and slowly lifted it up. Elise raised her hands up as it was pulled off and thrown to the floor.

The shorts came next. The two took turns taking them off each other, tossing them aside with the shirts. After that it was the socks, and before they knew it they were standing face to face with each other in only a bra and panties.

Sierra and Elise stood there for a while, both having a hard time comprehending how fast everything had happened. It would have driven them insane to visualize the event happening in real time. How had they lost control so quickly?

They needed to take things faster.

Sierra looked straight at Elise’s bra, wondering if she should take it off. She was about to ask, but Elise beat her to it.

“Are you ready?”

Sierra nodded without waiting. She was definitely ready.

Elise backed away and fell into Sierra’s bed, beckoning her to follow. She did so and landed in bed right beside her, laying on her side. Elise smiled and giggled at her. Sierra giggled back.

Sierra’s eyes wandered back to Elise’s bra. She asked herself that same question, should she take it off? Was this the right time? She’d be lying if she said she never wondered what Elise’s breasts looked like. She couldn’t help it, every now and again that thought would peek into her mind, if only for a moment.

She remembered from her time living as Devin that seeing a girl’s breasts in real life for the first time was supposed to be this big, important moment for a boy, especially when they were the breasts of his girlfriend. She recalled hearing many boys in the past bragging about seeing some girl’s breasts, and they always seemed very happy about it. It was as if they were seeing something dangerous or forbidden, with all their friends coming up to congratulate them for it.

So Sierra assumed this was supposed to be a big reveal. It might have been too bad she kind of ruined it with her hormones. The first pair of breasts she saw were, well, her own. In the past eight months, she’d seen them grow from nothing to where they were now. It was a bit anticlimactic, if she was honest.

That was a common line among main characters of TG stories, particularly if they were younger. They spend so much time wondering what women look like without their clothes on, only for the first naked female body they see in person to be themselves. Usually, it was a big disappointment.

But it wasn’t for Sierra. She quite liked it, suspense killer and all.

Either way, she was there on the bed, waiting for the right time to take off her girlfriend’s bra. She was almost about to go for it when something unexpected happened.

Unbeknownst to Sierra, Elise had also been wondering what her breasts looked like, all through this past week, and she was all too eager to find out.

Elise reached behind Sierra’s back and snapped off the bra. Sierra lifted her hands up and let it fall to the bed.

Never would Sierra have predicted that Elise would get to see her breasts before she saw her’s. If she went back and told herself that when they started dating, she'd have probably blown her past self’s head off.

“So that’s what you’ve been hiding under those sweatshirts.” Elise said. “That looks so uncomfortable. Don’t you ever let them out to breathe?”

“I don’t wear sweatshirts in here.” Sierra retorted. “I don’t wear a bra either, I just let them sit there under my shirt. It’s quite annoying when my parents call me and I have to put the bra and the sweatshirt on.”

“Do they yell at you for taking so long? Mine do.”

“Of course. I can never catch a break.”

A soft giggle escaped Elise’s mouth as she reached behind and snapped her bra off, tossing it to the floor. Sierra’s mouth was agape upon seeing them, her face turning red.

“Wow, they’re… big.”

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen a pair of tits before.”

“I… I haven’t seen a real pair before.”

“‘Real pair?’ What about the one on your chest? Looks pretty real to me.”

“Well yeah, but…”

“Is it because they’re not big enough?” Elise asked. “You shouldn’t worry about that. Mine have had seven years to grow, your’s haven’t got a full year yet. These things take time.”

“I know.”

“Stop putting yourself down.” Elise told her. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Elise smiled. “Now there’s only one thing left to do.”

Sierra chuckled, her hands going down to her panties and sliding them off, dropping them on the floor. Elise followed suit, and for the first time, the two girls were seeing each other with their bodies completely bare.

They brought their mouths together again and made out long and hard. At some point, Elise rolled over, and Sierra rolled with her. Elise landed on her back and Sierra was on top of her, her arms holding her up on each side of Elise’s head. She ended the kiss, bringing her head up to look down at Elise, smiling.

And she continued to smile, staying in that position without moving an inch. She didn’t do anything for nearly half a minute before Elise became confused.

“Is something wrong?” She asked.

Sierra didn’t answer, she just looked up and down the bed, examining the scene she had put herself in. She was on top, Elise was on bottom. She was about to perform the role that had long made her feel intense revulsion in her fantasies.

She was going to love Elise by dominating her, just like a…

Something in Sierra’s mind snapped and her body froze, her smile dropping into a frown.

Elise grew concerned. “Are you okay?”

Sierra gulped, quickly rubbing her face with her right hand. “I…” She tried to say, before she felt her body grow cold and her vision start to close in.

“Oh no.” She said under her breath.

Sierra stood up and out of bed, her breathing growing heavy. She slowly moved back until she hit the wall. A surge of dizziness came across her and she tried to contain it by covering her eyes and sitting down.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Elise said, watching Sierra bring herself into a fetal position. “I didn’t know…” She stopped mid-sentence.

Sierra took her hands from her knees and rubbed them through her face, trying to calm herself down. Elise got off the bed and approached her with caution, eventually coming to crouch down beside her.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

Sierra lifted her head up. “I think so.” She answered. “I don’t feel as dizzy anymore.”

“That’s good.” Elise replied, slowly and unsurely raising her hand to touch Sierra’s shoulder. Her hand was stopped midway when Sierra took it and put it there herself.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, it’s okay.” Elise interrupted. “Do you want me to call the ambulance?”

Sierra chuckled through her heavy breathing. “God Elise, it’s just a little episode, we don’t need to take this to the hospital.”

Elise smiled. “I’m just looking out for you.” She moved her hand down to Sierra’s waist. “You’re not breathing so heavy anymore.”

“Right.” Sierra said back. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, do you want me to get you some water?”

“No, I don’t think-” Sierra tried to say, but Elise had already left the room.

Sierra slid her head back, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. The wall was putting a lot of pressure onto her head, and as annoying and uncomfortable as it was, she didn’t care.

Sierra sighed, crossing her arms and letting her legs fall to the floor.

Why did she have to ruin everything? Just when Elise and her were about to take that big step, her mind had to go into a panic, all because she couldn’t bring herself to love Elise like a man.

Sierra cringed at the thought of that. “Loving Elise like a man”, the thing that had made her dread this moment for so long. It was lost in the heat of the moment, but right when it was about to happen that dread returned and hit her with a harsh, unrelenting blow to her conscience. In an instant she was reduced to a shivering, useless waste of space.

Sometimes it amazed her how Elise could stand her.

Elise came back to the room and handed Sierra a water bottle, which she took a few sips out of.

“You look better.” Elise remarked. “Is the water helping?”

“I think so.” Sierra said. “It’s kind of funny picturing you walking around my house naked.”

Elise laughed. “Probably the only time that’ll ever happen. It feels really weird.”

“Because this isn’t your house?”

“Well yeah, but also just… I’m naked outside the shower, it feels like I’m doing something very wrong.”

“I get that.” Sierra replied. “It feels like you should have some clothes on. Or like someone will suddenly walk into the room and see you, even when you know that’s not going to happen.”

“When you say it like that it becomes creepy. Like some stalker is out to get me.”

“You’re right.” Sierra agreed.

“But I guess your room does give off the feeling of a safe sanctuary. We can be naked in here all we want.”

Sierra chuckled, not moving away when Elise went in to kiss her, nor when she put her hand on her face.

“How are you feeling?” Elise asked.

“I think I’m feeling good.”

Elise continued rubbing her thumb on Sierra’s cheek. “Do you want to…”

“Try that again?” Sierra finished for her. “I… I think I’d like to, but I don’t know. How about you?”

“Well… I'd be lying if I said I didn’t.” Elise giggled.

Sierra giggled back. “It was fun.” She said. “Until I…”

“Until we were about to start.”

“Yeah.” Sierra nodded. “I’d love to try again but… not like that. I can’t do it like that.”

Elise pursed her lip, looking back to Sierra’s bed.

“How would you like it?” She asked.

Sierra turned her head aside, racking her brain for ideas.

“I don’t know.”

Elise looked back at the bed, then at Sierra.

“Hold on.” She said, taking her hand. “Do you mind if I move you around?”

Sierra gazed into Elise’s eyes and saw the same look she did that morning. Patience, understanding, love. Elise wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want to. She could trust her.

“Yes.” Sierra answered.

Elise stood up, Sierra standing with her. Elise moved her forward to the bed before she gestured for her to lay down on it. Complying with the request, Sierra rested her back on the bed, laying her hands to her sides, waiting to see what Elise was going to do.

To the side of the bed, Elise examined Sierra’s body, her crotch specifically. She went back to her purse and took out the box of condoms, taking one out and placing it firmly on Sierra.

She then hopped up on the bed, on top of her, and leaned down to kiss her on the lips.

“Is this better?” She asked.

Sierra looked up to her, and down to herself, taking in the scene. Her on bottom, Elise on top. Elise taking the active role, while she was taking the passive.

With this set up, she wouldn’t have to…

Sierra smiled up at Elise. “It’s better.” She said, lifting her head to kiss her. “Much better.”

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Comments

I love this series

Alice-s's picture

Not long until the parents get back. That's going to be interesting