what should i do

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I just posted a story the other day and it hasent got a very favable reviews. I dont blame them, apon rereading it, it has so many errors, misspelling and miswording of sentenses. I guress the story is very poor quality. IM thinking about taking it down and reworking it to make it better. Should i?

Comments

not a fan...

kristina l s's picture

... of people deleting things. So there's two ways you can go. Rework it 'till you're happy and you feel the criticisms have been addressed, if you agree with them. Then either post the edited/revised version over the old one with a note as to what and why or post it again, separately, as a revised version. It's up to you of course I just don't like people deleting things.

Take more time to ensure that the story flows logically, regardless of reality. You could probably call the church whatever you like but it still links to the Catholic Church in some ways unless you change more details. But the jumps in place and time and yes the grammar do detract a bit. It's not bad, just a little rough.

I got impatient with one of mine not long ago and posted before I should have. I will do a revised version but the original will stay. Aint nobody perfect, but hopefully we try to do better each time. Your choice Chris'

Kristina

Why not?

erin's picture

Rework it if you feel you must, post it n the same space, replacing the old text, and put up a blog with a pointer to the new version? That's one way of doing it.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

My Vote: Start Over

I don't enjoy seeing stories removed. But this one seemed to me (and others, judging from the possibly unprecedented vote/comment ratio) to be in need of a complete restart. (As one of the story comments suggested, it may even need a re-think, unless you really meant the end to suggest that venal hypocrisy should heroically triumph over mere moral corruption.)

So I think taking it down and starting over is the best idea.

Eric

Down with Virtue!

Alas I have not read the story but both Kristina's and Erin's suggestions make sense to me. If you really feel that it can be improved that is. Whatever you do, don't let readers' comments hold sway over your own judgement though.

Whether the ending reflects venal hypocrisy's heroic triumph over moral corruption or visa versa is quite irrelevant. There is a lot of both about and by the very nature of things each triumphs on a fairly regular basis. Indeed it would be a very poor state of affairs if such was not the case from the writer's point of view. Virtue is all very well in its place but when allowed free reign in fiction it tends to be rather boring. Many faceted vice is far more interesting and it does the heart good to see it rise triumphant over stifling, one dimensional, righteousness.

On a positive note I think that you should perhaps stress this content more obviously in the preamble. It will ensure far more readers and perhaps garner more outraged comments.

Hugs,

Fleurie Fleurie

Fleurie

It depends...

Puddintane's picture

...entirely on how much work you did to load it in the first place. If, like Angharad, you type it on the fly, it would be a shame to throw that work away. An author can edit a story at any time, and taking it down means both that it can't be edited in place and the comments go away.

Since so many of the comments were negative for one reason or another, magically waving a wand to make them all go away *may* be satisfying, and reposting gives one a second chance at the apple without the messy corpse in the way. (That's a reference to the story of William Tell, if that particular legend isn't part of your cultural context.)

On the other hand, any such comments that were based in partisan religious outrage over your use of the Catholic church (in whatever guise) as the villain of the piece seem likely to reappear, despite your clear warnings up front.

I'd consider recasting the villains as members of an evangelical dispensationalist protestant church writ large, since there are so many of them, and so many of them hate each other. This has the advantage that a sustained level of bigotry is easier to come by within the ranks of some of them. The rabid Fred Phelps, for example, is the minister of Westboro Baptist Church (Independent), and has had a long career of hate-mongering. He also hates Swedes (Usch fy!), the Irish (Begorra!), and Canadians (Eh?), so there aren't too many people who would spring to his defence if your church somehow resembled his. Many such groups hate Jews as well, so this might fit in with your depiction of Israel as a refuge, although a "Prophet Elijah" seems problematic, since it may ambiguously refer either to Jewish expectations of the coming of Moshiach or to a Christian Preterist ideology which some Jews might object to. Almost everybody likes Elijah, but not necessarily the uses to which he's been put.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps

In general, as a writer, you should be careful about using identifiable individuals, institutions, and corporations, because one may thereby become liable to lawsuits alleging defamation (libel, slander, it depends on the laws of each individual country in which such a suit might be brought) or trademark violation, which is rarely a good idea, considering how poorly most writers are paid. It's often a good idea to do a web search when naming a villain of any sort, to make sure that there aren't too many potential claimants before committing the name to electrons. This is especially true with businesses, since they often have trademark attorneys who set up automated searches to identify trademark violations. Keep in mind that even if the use of a name isn't actually something that would expose one to legal or civil consequences, the expense of defending such a case is usually indistinguishable from punishment. Look for McLibel on the Internet for a case in point.

Best of luck to you,

Puddin'

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Unfavourable Reviews... Possibly because of subject?

Christine, please don't be hurt by what I'm going to say. I "AM NOT" attacking you or what you wrote, I'm just going to tell you why I won't read your latest story. Please keep an open mind and read what I'm going to say...

When you first posted your story I saw the warning in the blurb. "Authors warning. This tale is intense with a lot of violence and heavy religious overtones." That was enough to keep me from even looking at the story. I'm the type who likes stories like Maddy Bells "Gaby" and Ellen Hayes "Tucker". I'm not a person who likes violence, and I'm not happy about any "mainstream" religion. I'm native (read "Indian") and I'm no stranger to drinking and fighting. Did a lot of it when I was young. Got some very bad memories. So... your warning kept me away.

Today when I saw your blog post (the one I'm responding to right now *grin*) I thought I'd first read your story and then respond. I opened the story, read the first few paragraphs, and couldn't read any further. Not because of the spelling, grammar, or sentence construction. But because of the premise of the story. It strikes too close to home... for a Canadian Indian.

We Canadians went through a period where the gov't took 'native' children away from parents in an attempt to eradicate our culture. Children were sent to "schools" run by christian religious orders where they were subjected to "cruel and unusual punishment" for any (or none) infraction of the rules. The schools seem to have been dumping grounds (or is that hunting grounds?) for paedophiles, sadists, and bigots who staffed the places. Decades later nobody is sure just how many children simply disappeared into unmarked graves...

So, sorry, I can't read your story.

Don

I don't like intolerance. I don't like people who insist I think like they do. I don't like people who insist I believe in their religion. And if you think you can force me to do something... modifying a line from history, "this Indian has guns"!

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Rework it

I did read your story. I normally will finish any story once I've started it. I found I had to fight my way through your story, mentally correcting the spelling and working out what certain words should have been as I went. This definitely detracts from the story as you can't focus on what the author is trying to say.

I wasn't really bothered by the factual errors because I took it as an alternate reality that you were portraying. Changing the name of the church would better fit my concept of this as an alternate reality. If your intent is to highlight the follies of some real institution then most of us are bright enough to catch the parallels.

I am all for reworking and reposting your story. I think you have some important comments to make on society and should express them however you feel is best.

Good luck and keep writing.

Michelle B

If This Goes On---

That's the title of a sci-fi novel by Robert A. Heinlein, of a United States taken over by a religious theocracy. Heinlein used enough familiar religious terms to allow his readers to keep up with the story, yet it was obviously not any existing religion. This is probably the direction you should take. Using an established religion means bringing in readers who are more familiar with your subject than you are, and the story suffers.

KJT

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Christine _ It's Up to You

Your story has great promise, but it also has value as it is written.

If you do decide to edit it I would suggest you wait a few weeks in order to gain distance and perspective. When I go back to a story I've written several months prior I see it more like someone else would read it. I can then find spelling errors, missing words, incomplete thoughts, and grammarical problems.

What I would not do is compare some mythical ratio of votes to comments as suggested by Eric. Eric has provided wonderful comment on many stories, including some of mine, but his reliance on votes and comments and a comparison of the two to judge the quality of a story is without merit.

I've seen stories written with utter disregard for grammar or spelling receive dozens of votes. Stories no more creative than "boy meets dress, boy likes dress, boy wears dress" have received as many comments.

Do what will make you feel best. Any story that has something to say (and yours does) will find an audience. Find your happiness in the journey.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Excellent advice...

Puddintane's picture

>>> Do what will make you feel best. Any story that has something to say (and yours does) will find an audience. Find your happiness in the journey.

Hopefully, the many comments you've received contain enough "meat" about real religious bodies to eke out your own knowledge with factoids, at least, if you feel them necessary, but don't be discouraged or feel that you have to make people happy who don't share the obvious passion behind the story.

Best of luck,

Puddin'

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style