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I'm posting this as a courtesy to my wonderful, loyal readers. I felt the need to explain the rather inconsistent publication of my two current stories, "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves" and "Out of the Past."
Some of you will notice that I didn't write or publish anything for about eight months, from July of last year to this Spring. My mother passed away last summer (she lived a good, long life, 90+ years worth) and I was destroyed, falling into a deep depression that only lifted after spending some time with my sister in her home over the holidays. My sister and I began probate proceedings into our mom's estate, under the belief that she hadn't left a will. As many of you may know from your own experience, these proceedings can take more than half a year to complete.
About two months ago, we were shocked to discover that the widow of my cousin, admittedly a favorite nephew of our mother's, claimed that she had told her that a will had been filed with a certain attorney more than 20 years ago. A search of our mother's papers didn't uncover a copy of said will. We had to "guess" which lawyer she used to prepare the will. The guy we decided was the one has retired and moved out of state. We tracked him down and are waiting for him to respond to us (apparently he and his wife do a lot of travelling now in retirement).
I am usually a rather high-strung person and, with my dysphoria, these last few weeks have been torture. It's not the money, per se. I fear most what the will reveals about my mother's true feelings about me. I know toward the end of her life, she came to accept my "nature." But this will was written more than 20 years ago at a time when she and I were barely speaking. If it even exists. I suppose we'll find out in the next week or two.
I've tried to write on a regular basis but, human frailty being what it is, it's hard. I find myself self-medicating by listening to music or reading popular science books (Michio Kaku's latest tome on quantum computing is on my desk right now).
So, please bear with me, my readers, mes semblables, mes soeurs.
Hugs,
Sammy
Comments
Wills
Wills can be such destructive things, especially if they are written during times of strain or estrangement. Do not assume that your mother’s feelings, expressed in a twenty-year-old document, are somehow more “true” than your more recent interactions. Rejoice that she lived long enough to grow in love and understanding. And give yourself a big hug — you’ve earned it!
Emma
Kind words, Emma
Thank you for your understanding. People like you are what make this site "a friendly place" for all of us fellow travellers on this road.
Sammy
My condolences
The passing of a mother is quite emotional, I'm glad you were able to have a better relationship with her before her death. I agree with Emma, what your mother might have written 20 years ago shouldn't put a damper on your recent relationship. I'm glad you have started writing again. I'm a fan, your stories touch my heart. Your characters have a depth and emotion that come out vividly through your words. I'm curious how your mother felt about your stories, or if you shared them with her. I transitioned only recently and never had that discussion with my mother, although I know she was well aware of my feelings my whole life.
Thank you for sharing your stories and your life with us Sammy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
All my love,
DeeDee
DeeDee