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My brother died unexpectedly at the weekend. He hadn't been ill, he was only 55.
He lives (lived) on his own, but he has a large network of friends and one of them alerted me on Monday that they couldn't get in touch with him. I hadn't heard from him since Saturday afternoon. I got a key to his house and I found his body.
I've been so busy dealing with contacting friends, family, work and various organisations that I haven't really had time to think about how I feel. Which has helped, in a way. It's given me time to get used to the idea before I've had time to react.
I told Gabi in case she worried why I was uncommunicative suddenly. She offered to let you all know. It never really occured to me that I should do that, I'm not sure why.
One thing that I have heard this week is people sharing their stories of how they have had to deal with the death of a loved one. My first thought was 'way to make it about you'. But then I realised, sharing your pain and showing that you dealt with it is a way of helping others realise that they can get through it too.
With the help of my family, my friends and the extraordinary number of my brother's friends, I will be able to deal with this.
So, if I'm not around so much for a while, don't worry, I'm just helping my family deal with this.
Comments
I am so sorry for your loss
all I got is huggles, but take as many as you need
An awful shock
So sorry to hear your bad news, I'm glad that you won't be dealing with this on your own.
Hugs
Angharad
Loss
Every loss diminishes all of us. We can't grieve for your brother, we didn't know him. But we can and do grieve for your pain and loss.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Loss
is never easy, we'll still (hopefully) be here when you feel you can/need to resume your life.
be careful, be safe
Maddy
Madeline Anafrid Bell
Yeah ... Sniff. What Dorothy said.
Words don't help hardly at all ... and all I got is hugs floating "out in the ether". Take all you need.
Sorry ...Take care.
---
May all Beings be Happy.
May all Beings be Well,
May all Beings be free of pain, and
May all Beings be Loved, in this World and in the Next.
Condolences
I’m sorry for your loss
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
It's really sad when it
It's really sad when it happens that way. My brother died suddenly at 50. In a way though it can be less painful than watching them suffer. You may get a sense of unreality.
It is a shock to anyone, a sudden death like that. You may find it hits you harder later on.
I know you will have heard this 100 times. You will need to talk to others. Don't bottle up. I did and ended up o anti depressants.
Leeanna
You and your family
Will be uppermost in my thoughts.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Dealing with death
I have lost both parents, both sets of grandparents, and came close to losing the spouse. Two still born infants. Many from the spouse's side of the family. I spent 35 years as a cop on a major college campus with three hospitals and a Ronald McDonald house. I have done cpr numerous times, saving some. Deceased infants, patient families, suicides even a couple of murders. Etc, etc. A few of the guys I worked with, some on the same shift. Conclusion. You never get used to it. You never get over it. You never forget. But. It does get easier over time. I am sorry for your loss.
Those Are The Ones
That come to work with you at the start of your shift and go home with you at the end. Had a rookie ask me one day after a particularly gruesome shift, "How do you sleep after something like this?" I told him "Damn poorly." Not the answer he was hoping for, I could tell.
I saw my friends get the "Greetings from your Uncle Sam" letter. Most come home, some didn't. I've lost my grandparents, parents, a brother, all my aunts and uncles, and several cousins. I'm close to loosing 1, and maybe 2 nieces, due to medical reasons. And there are the officers I worked with and the civilians we encountered.
All I can tell you is the same thing Stacy said. And if you ever get used to it, change something! That path leads to madness! You live and you love and you lose and you grieve. It's the way the world is. Keep your friends close, very close. They may save your life and your sanity someday. Word to the wise: crying can be very therapeutic. Don't keep it bottled up inside, it'll eat you alive.
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
My prayers are with you,
that is simply heartbreaking news. I'm glad you have so many people to help you through this, when I lost my sister at the age of 17 I had very few people around me - I was in the military and had no close friends at the time - I withdrew into myself and ended up having a breakdown.
Love and as many hugs as you need, Holly >^-^<
So sudden
I am so saddened by your loss.
Love, Andrea Lena