Clare goes to visit Tom’s colleagues at work

Suzanne’s cousin Clare:
and how she changed my life

by Louise Anne Smithson

Chapter 11

Clare’s visit

Debbie arrived at Suzanne’s flat mid-way through Sunday morning, as promised. We’d arranged to go out together for Sunday lunch at a restaurant just off the Charing Cross road, which had good facilities for the disabled.

‘Wow just look at you two glamour girls all dressed up as if you were going to a wedding, I feel distinctly underdressed in this outfit,’ she announced as she entered the flat.

‘You look fine,’ answered Suzanne. ‘Clare and I just wanted the opportunity to show off our new fancy hair styles.’

‘You both look great, I now wish I’d had my hair done as well,’ she announced to us both before turning to me.

‘So how are you getting on with the new silicone boobs, Clare?’

‘They’re alright I suppose,’ I answered, beginning to blush a little. ‘They’re both still securely in place, and I’m gradually getting used to the feel of them and the way they move.’

‘Are you experiencing any soreness with the adhesive?’

‘I’m not aware of any.’

‘So you won’t be insisting that I take them off for you this afternoon,’ said Suzanne.

I sighed.

‘No I suppose not, as long as I’m able to remove them whenever I need to.’

‘That’s a relief. When I got home on Friday evening I found that I’d left the bottle of solvent at work, but I swear to you that I didn’t do so deliberately.’

‘Maybe, but I can’t possibly keep them glued on to me for the next fortnight. What am I going to do if need to change back in a hurry for any reason and am unable to get hold of you?’ I asked.

‘Does that mean that you are planning to remain as Clare during the Christmas Holiday?’

I sighed.

‘As Suzanne has paid for these hair extensions, I suppose I’m bound to keep wearing them until Boxing Day, and so I may as well stay living as Clare as well, and keep the boobs. However, I’ll need to take them off soon in order to check that they’re not causing any soreness.’

‘Alright, but when you take them off, I trust that you’ll also learn how to put them back again, so that you get used to having them. You’ll need to have them in place at my party, so that you can wear something slinky with a low-cut neckline.’

I wasn’t sure whether she was joking or not.

‘I’m not promising anything Debbie. I’ll have to see how I feel after Christmas. But in the meanwhile how am I going to get that bottle of solvent?’

‘Why don’t you call in to the office to collect it from me one day next week?’ she suggested.

‘But Karen and Helen will be there.’

‘Yes, I know, and it would be a good opportunity to introduce Clare to them before my party. If you were to call in on Friday afternoon we won’t be doing any work as it is the last afternoon before the Christmas break. I could introduce you as my friend Clare and then we can see whether either of them recognises you.’

‘If they don’t recognise me from my appearance one of them is bound to recognise my voice,’ I said.

‘I’m not sure about that, but even if they do so — so what? After all Clare will be meeting them both at my party, irrespective of whether or not you retain the false boobs after Christmas — remember you did make a promise.’

‘Yes, but I made that promise before I realised that you would trick me into becoming Clare this weekend and remaining so until Christmas,’ I replied.

She wasn’t sure whether I was serious or not, so changed the subject.

‘I’ll tell you what, Clare, if you come into work and can last in their company for half an hour without them recognising you, I’ll organise a special treat for you after Christmas.’

‘There you go again Debbie, you and Suzanne are constantly trying to push me further than I want to go.

‘Come on Clare, be honest, have you or haven’t you been having a good time so far this weekend?’ asked Suzanne.

‘Well, yes I suppose I have,’ I answered reluctantly.

‘And you’re now quite confident when you are out in public dressed as a girl.’

‘I guess so.’

‘So why not do as Debbie suggests and call in to collect the bottle of solvent?’

‘You wouldn’t mind if I were to leave you alone for a few hours?’

‘Of course I wouldn’t mind, you’re not my prisoner! You may do whatever you wish whilst you’re staying with me.’

‘So how about it Clare?’ asked Debbie.

I was clearly going to get no peace until I agreed, and I thought that it might be nice to see Karen and Helen’s reaction to me in advance of my meeting them at the party.

‘Alright, I’ll call into the office early on Friday afternoon.’

‘And you’ll do your best to look good, act the part and not be discovered by them.’

‘Yes I suppose so.’

'Great, so now that's sorted let's go and get ourselves some lunch and you can tell me all about your visit to the hairdresser's,' said Debbie.

---

In spite of my earlier misgivings, I really enjoyed the next few days living as Clare, getting used to my new appearance and the wardrobe provided for me by Suzanne. I liked to experiment with different looks and try on the last few items in my new wardrobe, which I’d not hitherto worn, together with different coloured cosmetics. With Suzanne’s help, I was beginning to get a good idea as to what sort of styles and colour schemes suited me best. I also found that putting on my makeup and dealing with my new long hair became far less time consuming each morning as I became more competent and confident. In fact it became quite an enjoyable experience. It was nice not needing to worry about becoming Tom again after a couple of days. I could just sit back and enjoy my new life as Clare.

I also enjoyed helping Suzanne to prepare for what was likely to be her last Christmas. We decorated her flat and her Christmas tree together, with me performing the more physical activities and my friend telling me what to do. Although far from well, she was usually cheerful and on good form and so we chatted and joked together, more like two sisters than cousins. I went out and did some shopping for both of us on a couple of occasions. Suzanne had been right, I now thought nothing of going to the shops on my own, and it didn’t occur to me that I might be read by the shop assistants or other customers.

‘Alright, you win, I’ve enjoyed myself over the last few days and I’m glad that you and Debbie tricked me into spending this week as Clare. I would also like to thank you for everything that you’ve done for me,’ I announced on Wednesday afternoon.

Suzanne looked genuinely pleased.

‘Clare, sometimes other people can recognise things about you that you cannot see for yourself. That was why I was pleased to have the opportunity to talk to Debbie alone. I wanted to ask whether she had also noticed something about you. When she agreed with me, we decided to create this opportunity for you to discover for yourself.’

I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that Suzanne had noticed and wanted me to discover, but what she said reminded me of something my mother had said to me as she was dying. She’d told me that I needed to discover who I was and then go for it. She’d also said that she was sorry that she wouldn’t be around to witness my discovery but wished me luck. An hour later she was dead. I decided not to dwell on these matters or draw parallels with Suzanne’s situation, whatever it was would come to me in due course. I looked for an opportunity to change the subject.

‘Suzanne, there’s a new romantic comedy on at the cinema that is being well-reviewed, what if I were to treat you, as a way of saying ‘thank you’ for everything,’ I asked.

‘That is kind of you to offer Clare, but if you don’t mind I’d rather stay in and watch a video or else just chat together.’

I couldn’t help noticing that Suzanne was in a worse physical condition than she liked to admit. The strength in her arms and legs was gradually deteriorating and she needed help in an increasing number of areas. Furthermore, the bouts of coughing and breathlessness that I’d witnessed before were becoming a regular, almost daily, feature and were not always associated with strenuous activity. She seemed to be particularly poorly on the Thursday morning and I became quite concerned.

‘Shouldn’t you be consulting a doctor about your breathlessness Suzanne?’ I asked.

‘Clare, I’ve been seeing doctors at regular intervals ever since I was twenty-one and I know exactly what is happening to me. There’s nothing to be done, the muscular dystrophy has begun to affect my heart and lungs, giving rise to bouts of pneumonia and will eventually lead to heart failure. One of those conditions will finish me off in the not too distant future,’ she answered in her matter-of-fact manner.

‘I hate to say this Suzanne, but if your condition gets any worse, then you won’t be able to cope with living on your own.’

‘I know and I promise that I’ll organise some home help for myself early in the New Year. In the meanwhile though, please do me a favour and help me to disguise the fact from Christine and Eleanor. I only need to keep well until after Christmas. That’s why I was so pleased that you’ll be staying with me this week Clare.’

There were now two different reasons that I was pleased to have been ‘persuaded’ to stay with her for this week. I did what I could to help so that by Thursday evening she’d largely recovered.

‘I’m glad you’re feeling better, but I’ll cancel my trip into work tomorrow afternoon if you like,’ I said.

‘No, please don’t, I’d really like you to go and to hear how you get on with your workmates. You’ve been looking and acting so naturally as Clare these last few days that I’m sure they’ll be most impressed with you. In any event, you’re going to need that bottle of solvent.’

‘Alright, I’ll go as long as you’re feeling well enough to be left tomorrow.’

---

The following morning I checked on Suzanne’s condition to ensure that she was still feeling better before deciding to go ahead with my promised visit. She was adamant that she was well and that I should go ahead. I then spoke to Debbie on the phone to check that all was still well with our plan and told her to expect my arrival at 2.30pm. I wanted to give my workmates the impression that I’d spent the morning working in an office, and so I chose a smart dark red two-piece suit and white blouse from the wardrobe provided for me by Suzanne. I also found a plain black handbag and a pair of matching medium-heeled shoes. As usual, I went to some trouble over my hair and makeup and had no need of any help from Suzanne. By the middle of the morning my friend was still feeling better and she suggested that the two of us should have an early lunch together in a nearby café before Clare made her way into her work.

‘Good luck with your visit this afternoon young lady. If you perform as well today as you did when you met my friends a couple of weeks ago, you should get on alright. You certainly look very smart and I’m proud to have you as my cousin. You don’t look or act remotely like Tom these days. In fact I’ve quite forgotten what he looks like,’ said Suzanne.

‘Today will be that much more difficult for me since I’ll be talking to two people who know Tom quite well.’

‘Would it be such a disaster if they do recognise you?’ she asked.

‘No, I suppose not, but it will boost my confidence if they don’t do so. If I’m going to Debbie’s party dressed as Clare, then I’ll have to explain the situation to them at some point. I’ll be a little disappointed if either of them should recognise me before I decide to tell them though.’

‘You seem to be confident enough of being accepted as a woman whenever you go out these days.’

‘Yes, the hair extensions and the makeup do help in that respect. I’m no longer worried that my wig might be blown off, or that I might be recognised by anyone in the street, but it’s a different matter when you’re talking to people who already know you.’

‘I suggest you use the same tactic as you did when you first met my friends, and try to appear to be a friendly and confident person. It’ll be a contrast to Tom’s more shy and self-effacing personality.’

‘I’ll do my best to do so. In fact I do seem to be more confident and talkative as Clare than I did as Tom.’

‘Yes, both Debbie and I have noticed that as well.’

---

After lunch I made my way across London to the office. It was the last afternoon before the Christmas break and all work had finished at our office by the time I arrived to find my three colleagues sharing a bottle of wine together and eating mince pies. I’d prepared my introductory spiel and taken a deep breath before I went in.

‘Hi Debbie, so this is what you do all day at work then,’ I said as I entered the office.

Debbie looked round and smiled at me. I could see she approved of how I looked.

‘Hi Clare, I’m glad you could pop by on your way home. Please come in and have a mince pie! Let me also introduce you to my colleagues Helen and Karen.’

Helen smiled and said hello to me, but didn’t attempt to shake my hand as her own hands were occupied with a glass of wine and a mince pie. Karen also nodded in acknowledgment. There appeared to be no immediate sign of recognition by either of them.

Debbie went to pour me a glass of wine and whilst she was doing so I tried to make conversation with the others,

‘So are there just the three of you working in the office?’ I asked.

‘No there’s also our young man, Tom, but he’s on leave until after Christmas,’ said Helen.

‘It was a pity he couldn’t be here to join in our little Christmas celebration,’ commented Debbie as she handed me a drink.

‘Never mind, your friend can take his place and have his glass of wine and mince pie,’ said Karen.

---

For the next twenty minutes or so, I joined in the conversation with the others regarding their various plans and preparations for the Christmas holidays, and the presents that they had bought or hoped to receive. The conversation proceeded quite naturally and I seemed to be accepted without question. Neither of the older women appeared to act in any way awkwardly or suspiciously towards me. Eventually, as previously arranged with Debbie, I asked whether I might use the office toilet so that there would be an opportunity for them to discuss me in my absence. Debbie later related to me the conversation that took place once I was out of earshot.

‘So what do you both think of my friend Clare?’ asked Debbie.

‘She seems nice enough,’ answered Karen politely, not sure what answer Debbie was wanting.

‘Does she remind you of anyone you know?’

‘I don’t think so. I was puzzled at first by her voice as it sounded like someone I knew, but I couldn’t place it, but as far as I know we’ve never met before.’

‘For a while I thought her voice sounded a little like Tom, but of course she doesn’t look anything like him,’ added Helen.

‘You think not? Have a good look at ‘her’ face when she comes out of the loo,’ said Debbie.

---

I emerged from the toilet, having first checked that my hair and makeup were alright. I came out smiling, knowing that my colleagues now probably knew the truth about my identity.

‘Tom! Is that really you?’ asked Helen incredulously.

I blushed deeply.

‘Yes I’m afraid so, but if you don’t mind, I’d prefer if you called me Clare when I’m dressed like this,’ I answered.

‘Good heavens! You look … incredible. Whatever have you done to yourself?’ asked Karen. After a slight hesitation she added the word ‘Clare.’

‘Nothing too drastic,’ I answered smiling. ‘At least nothing that can’t be fairly easily undone after Christmas.

‘Well you’d better tell us the whole story,’ said Helen.

I proceeded to tell the story of Clare once again and answer all the questions of my colleagues.

‘But you look entirely convincing as a girl. I’d never have guessed,’ commented Karen as soon as I’d finished my account.

‘I suppose it’s re-assuring to me to have you say so,’ I said, my face still blushing a little. ‘I seem to be able to pass as a young woman in public.’

‘Yes you do, but have you done this sort of thing before?’ asked Helen.

‘No I’d never thought of impersonating a woman before, but I do seem to be quite good at it, now that I’ve had a little practice.’

‘And you’ve been enjoying yourself too by the looks of things,’ added Karen.

I blushed, but there appeared to be no point in denying it.

‘Yes I suppose so.’

‘I’m trying to persuade Clare rather than Tom to come to my party at the New Year,’ added Debbie, changing the subject.

‘Oh yes, you must, and since you look so smart in that outfit you may come in to work as Clare after the holidays as well, if you want to,’ added Karen laughing.

‘No thank you! This transformation is strictly limited till Christmas. I’m still not even sure about the New Year party, but Tom will be certainly returning to work in January, as usual,’ I answered.

‘That’s a pity, I don’t think any of our customers would realise that it was Tom,’ added Karen.

I didn’t answer and so Karen didn’t push the point any further.

‘So what are you planning to wear to Debbie’s party Clare?’ asked Helen, ignoring my previous reservations.

‘I’ve no idea, and will have to think about that nearer the time, that is if I decide to go,’ I answered emphatically.

‘I could loan you a party frock that would suit, but I’m afraid you would have to provide your own shoes,’ said Debbie.

‘I’m rather broke at present, so I don’t think I’ll be buying any new shoes. If I do go I will have to wear one of the pairs of shoes provided by Suzanne.’

‘Does she have any that would be suitable for a party?’ asked Debbie

‘I’m not sure,’ I said.

‘The office has a  £60 surplus in the petty cash fund this year which I was going to divide between the four of us. Would you two agree to my contributing your  £15.00 to the ‘Cinderella shoe fund’ on the condition that she promises to come to the ball as Clare?’ Karen asked the others.

Helen and Debbie both agreed with the suggestion.

‘That would be fine, and I would be happy to take you out shopping in the sales after Christmas — so I’m sure we would be able to find something suitable without it costing you anything,’ said Debbie.

‘Thank you very much, all three of you but I’m not promising anything. I’ll see how I feel after Christmas,‘ I replied.

‘Alright then I’ll telephone you on Boxing Day and we can make the necessary arrangements for our shopping trip then,’ said Debbie ignoring the possibility that I might decide not to go.

---

It wasn’t until I was on the tube train returning to Suzanne’s flat that I realised that, with all the excitement, I’d entirely forgotten to ask Debbie for the bottle of solvent — which had been the original reason for my visit. I thought about going back, but knew that my colleagues were planning to close the office for the Christmas holiday and there was a good chance that everyone would have left by the time I got there. I therefore telephoned Debbie to explain the situation.

‘Oh I’m sorry Clare, the bottle was in my handbag all the time and I have it with me now. I suppose we were both so concerned with introducing you to the others that I forgot to remind you about it.’

‘That’s alright, it was my fault as well; I quite forgot to ask you for it. Perhaps we could meet up somewhere this weekend so you can hand it over?’

‘I’m sorry but I’ve already arranged for my father to collect me this evening and I’ll be away until Boxing Day. I could put it in the post to you though, if you wish.’

‘No, please don’t do that!’ I said. ‘The package might get broken, or at least delayed in the Christmas post and end up sitting around in a sorting office over the holiday.’

‘In that case what do you want me to do with it?’

‘I suppose the breast forms are not uncomfortable and still appear to be stuck on securely. I’ve already promised Suzanne to remain as Clare until after Christmas, so I may as well stay as I am for the time being. I’ll have to collect the bottle of solvent from you when we go out shopping together.’

‘Very well, as long as you don’t mind,’ answered Debbie.

‘I don’t think I have much choice in the matter,’ I said.

‘No I suppose not, but in that case you may as well resign yourself to having a good time as Clare over Christmas,’ answered Debbie.

‘Alright since it appears that the fates are quite determined for me to do so. I’ll speak to you on Boxing Day. In the meanwhile, have a good Christmas yourself Debbie.’

Debbie laughed.

‘Actually I slipped the bottle of solvent in to your handbag whilst you were in the toilet, but I wanted to see how you would react to the idea of having to keep the breast forms on.’