Wanting to stay married, I knew that was the end of my dressing. That was ten, no nearly fifteen, yes! 15! years ago. The Internet proved to be a gift from heaven. I started writing fiction in 2000 after I had been reading Sapphire’s and Storysite’s wonderful selection of TV/CD/TG fiction. The site gave me connections with others who felt the way I always have. Caitlin Rose, Marti B…. so many of you wrote so well. I got inspired! Now I’m reaching the end of my autobiography, I feel the urge to go for some fiction again!! Watch out for me girls!

Chapter 28 — Epilogue

The evolution of the Internet and the creation of some wonderful websites meant that I wasn’t alone, even though I had, and indeed still have, no close confidantes with whom I can share my love of “cross country”. That is why I crave the commentary from readers who have been kind enough to read my efforts.

If anything, my writing encouraged my deeply-held desire to be a beautiful woman who is stylish in her dressing, luscious in her beauty care and adorned with the most wonderful hair that heaven could create. In my dreams I am a positive and persuasive communicator, a good listener and a seductive lover. If only my early experimentation in marriage could have involved making my wife laugh with me and to enjoy and share at my desires. If life could be started over again, it would be different.

Once I had made the final promise, to stop all my dressing and never to mention the subject again, I was committed — some might say committed to a mental institution — committed to an apparently ‘straight’ lifestyle. In this, my meaning is ‘straight’ but not as in ‘not gay’. My readers, you should know me by now, I never was and never will be a gay male. I may see myself as a lesbian but that’s as far as my homosexuality has ever taken me.

For the first time (remember?.... that’s how this autobio began??) I gave myself a birthday treat, one year to the day after my resignation from the CD world. My treat was to have a full day’s ChangeAway at the ‘Transformation’ store in London. It’s easily reached by train from where I live and the deal allows a double transformation that lasts the whole morning and afternoon, or the afternoon and evening.

I’ve done this every year since. On the same day. I choose from a menu of ‘looks’ each time I go. I’ve been a Slutty Whore with superb fishnets, suspenders and bra with breast inserts, big big hair and OTT make-up.

I’ve been a Business Woman, again with a tight tight corset and bra combination, high heeled court shoes, and seamed stockings but under-stated makeup and precisely-chisel cut bobbed hair.

I’ve been a Bride with the most wonderful meringue nest dress, fairytale bra and panties and wonderfully upswept hair. and….

I’ve even been a Dominatrix, with the tightest basque you ever did wear, high energy striking make-up and a black wig with slashes of blue and blonde streaks!

No longer a shrinking violet (because time is not on my side) I get involved with the very helpful ladies who assist with dressing on these occasions.

Whereas when I first went to ‘Transformation’ for a “transformation” I hardly said a word, just enjoying what was done to me. I made choices about the dresses I wore, the ‘look I wanted’ and just let them get on with the job. I didn’t stay in the lounge for long to savour the enjoyment, but rather showered and left too quickly.

Nowadays, I talk continuously with the ladies there, asking them about what the do for other clients, what they like doing most for girls like me, and what they would do with my figure, or my make-up, or my hair when I come back next time. Lots of ideas!!

I have seen myself grow in age with these repeated visits. I’m far far from a possible ‘pass’ in the street which I once felt confident enough to risk.

I’m now not just a guy in a dress, I’m an old guy in a dress who cannot go out! The Transformation studio is therefore a resource for the now unthinkable.

I’m Ginger. I wannabe more but know now I’ll never be. But I’m content with that. With my writing and my stories, and my dreams.

I love you all, my dear readers and promise to continue to write for the few who really appreciate my work. I thank them all and hope I can comment enough on their works too.

Thank you Erin and BCTS in general.

Ginger xxxx