Jack gets just about as much as he can take.

Foreword: I want to thank a few of you for your kind words. A little bit of kindness can go a long way, and I can assure you it has in this case.

If you'd like to read the first two parts to this story, you can find them here (I hope... assuming I got the links right):
Jack be nimble?
Jack won't quit?

Jack gets whacked by the candlestick
Written and edited by Myself

"JACK! GET IN HERE!"

"What's wrong? Jack asked, trotting in from the other room.

"Did you hear what they just said on the news? It was like they were talking about you!"

"About me? Slow down Stacy. What exactly did they say?"

"There was a story on the news about men checking into hospitals with sudden weight loss."

"Are these men turning into women? Did they say what might be causing it? Did they say anything else?" Jack asked.

"They didn't say much, just that there have been groups of men who are losing a lot of weight and they don't know why. Do you think these men have the same thing you do? Do you think it's some kind of disease?"

Jack sighed. "I don't know, Stacy. Other than the obvious physical signs, I have no idea what's going on in here. I haven't been sick. I haven't done anything that I haven't done all my life. I haven't been splattered with industrial waste or bitten by any genetically engineered spiders. I lead a boring life."

"That's not entirely true Jack. You did see a doctor a while back. Remember?"

"Yeah, but I doubt blunt trauma caused this. Car accidents don't make men grow breasts. Both of the doctors I saw didn't find anything wrong with me."

"But that does tell us SOMETHING Jack. You had started changing; yet they didn't find anything wrong with you. Remember your blood test? They said you had the labs of a HEALTHY woman. 'Being a woman' isn't normal for you, but the healthy part is interesting. That's something."

"Oh yeah, big deal; so I don't have a fever! All that says is I don't have a cold... and possibly ovulating."

"It may be more than that Jack. Who knows what they tested you for? Remember, you saw your doctor because you were losing weight. If your doctor didn't have any idea what was causing the weight loss he may have ordered a broad range of tests."

"That's a big 'if' Stacey," Jack interrupted. "I think it's more likely he had a few ideas and only ordered tests to rule out the most obvious possibilities."

"That's certainly possible, but in either case it tells us something. At the very least it tells us that you didn't have any signs of the most obvious causes... whatever they may be."

"I think you're grasping at straws Stacy. This doesn't really tell us anything. All we know right now is there MAY be some other men out there with the same problem. The question is: does this change anything for us?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean Dr Thomas saw me not too long ago. We were worried I was losing weight. Then we decided not to go back after the little episode with my blood work. But what if Dr Thomas begins to wonder what happened to me. Has he forgotten about me? Will this story in the news jog his memory? Will he follow up with the lab to see what happened to my blood work? Will he have to report my case to anyone?"

"I don't know Jack. I would think privacy laws would keep Dr. Thomas from reporting your case to anyone."

"Maybe. But is there a point where an individual's right to privacy disappears where matters of public health are concerned? If a horrible new disease pops up I can't imagine your average Joe resting on his privacy rights while his whole neighborhood gets sick. I'm not sure the law, or the public health system would let him."

"But Jack..."

"But nothing Stacy. Forget about the law. Maybe I have a moral obligation to see my doctor about this. What if I'M spreading this around?"

"But no one around here is getting sick Jack."

"But we don't know that Stacy. Heck, for all we know I'm not sick. We don't know anyone; and even if we did, how many people are out there with the same thing and are hiding just like us? It could be into half our neighborhood for all we know."

"Jack. I think it would be a bigger news story if half the men in our neighborhood were turning into women. I'll bet it would be a bigger story if even ONE of the men they talked about on the news was turning into a woman."

"But what if I'm just further along for some reason?"

"Jack, those are all good questions, but..."

"I can't just sit here and..." Jack interrupted.

"Jack, promise me you won't do anything without talking to me first, o.k."

"You don't think I should go back to Dr. Thomas?" Jack asked, almost as a challenge.

"I'm not sure. What if the same thing is happening to all those men and they decide to put you all in quarantine? Do you want to be trapped someplace while they try to figure out what's wrong with you? If it's a disease, think about how many diseases are cured in a month, or even a year of trying. I'll bet it's a REALLY short list. That means you could be facing being locked away for a LONG time. This may sound cold, but anyone you might expose at work has already been exposed. Go into the office tomorrow, tell them you would like to telecommute, and come home. If you're working from home you can't spread anything."

"They wouldn't have to keep us isolated until they find a cure; just until they are sure it's not contagious, or until they're satisfied they can control its spread."

"We're not talking about the flu here Jack. This may be something that's turning men into women. It may not be killing you, but it'll sure scare the CRAP out of a lot of men. Fear is a powerful tool. It'll make a lot of people do things they wouldn't ordinarily do... like lock up a bunch of sick people and conveniently lose the key... or worse."

"But what about you Stacy? You're still exposed. What if I'm putting you and the kids in danger? What if this is something that YOU can carry and spread too?"

"Come on Jack, you're not thinking - or listening to me. We would've been exposed before anyone at the office would've been; and my job has less contact with people than yours. If there's anything to be exposed to - it's done already. If there's anything I can carry and expose, then the handful of people I've worked with have already been exposed. I think we need to sit tight and see how this shakes out. Let's not do anything right now we can't take back."

"Stacy?"

"No Jack. We gain nothing by speaking up. We don't help anyone by speaking up. It doesn't look like they know the cause... even IF it's the same thing. We keep quiet."

"It might help someone if..."

"We keep quiet Jack," Stacy interrupted.

---

Associated Press
(Berlin) - Amid growing concerns of an emerging epidemic, German health officials have confirmed that cases of the mysterious weight loss seen in U.S. hospitals in recent weeks have appeared in several German hospitals. Reports are surfacing that the German cases may have appeared before the first U.S. case was reported.

In addition to the symptoms reported in the U.S., German health officials are reporting that several of the affected men have exhibited certain changes, which are visually similar to developing female sex characteristics. However, German health officials are denying rumors that all of the patients affected are men, and that two of the men have undergone what allegedly has been a complete sexual transformation.

---

Associated Press
(Atlanta) - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta has confirmed that all reported U.S. cases of unexplained weight loss have thus far been men.

In a press release provided to news services this afternoon, the CDC has confirmed that all of the patients affected thus far appear to be men between the ages of 15 and 55. The CDC has also confirmed that the abnormal hormone levels previously reported are in fact abnormally high levels of female gonadal steroids, in conjunction with abnormally low levels of male gonadal steroids - commonly referred to as the sex hormones.

A spokesperson for the CDC stated this afternoon that they are not prepared to make any conclusions regarding the underlying cause or communicability of this condition.

---

For immediate release:
World Health Organization Works with U.S., German, and French Health Officials to Find Cause of Mysterious Abnormality

5 July 2007 | Geneva -- As reported in media outlets around the world, steadily increasing numbers of men are reporting sudden weight loss. Little is known about this condition, other than its apparent symptoms. There is no known cause at this time. Although the numbers of affected men are steadily increasing, it is not clear the condition is infectious. The first reported cases appeared almost simultaneously in a number of widely dispersed locations, suggesting a possible environmental cause rather that infection by person-to-person contact (or similar biological vector).

French and German officials now confirm reports from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that all individuals affected have thus far been men, roughly between the ages of 15 and 55. It has also been confirmed that blood samples from affected men show abnormally high levels of female sex steroids along with apparent development of female secondary sex characteristics.

---

Stories about people losing weight had been in the back of people's minds since the first stories appeared in the news, but not many were really worried. For a few months rumors swirled about its causes and the effects. Speculation ranged from: a mutated form of HIV, an accidental release from some kind of government experiment, a pharmaceutical company's weight-loss research program run amok... all the way to God's displeasure/judgment on a prevailing "culture of sin." People talked about victims dissolving into puddles of goo, mutating into mythical creatures, regressing to childhood, or morphing into virtual clones of well-known female celebrities.

It was the kind of talk curious people engage in when a problem is abstract, or can be safely filed away as "someone else's problem." Perhaps people didn't think of it as 'real' because it didn't have a name. Perhaps the human mind relies too heavily on labels to process information. In any case, a turning point in public perception came when a consensus was reached on a label: Male Reduction Syndrome.

MRS for short.

With the revelation that the number of known MRS cases worldwide was in the millions, the public's anxiety reached a critical mass. Fueled by the natural tendency of the modern media to hype a story (not to mention a misguided notion that 'doom and gloom' are necessary components of 'gravitas,' without regard to subject or context), and mixed with the public's programmed sensitivity to news of an epidemic, the world began a slow decline into near panic. Few people trusted, or believed statements from the scientific community that tried to assure that MRS was not easily transmitted from person to person. There was just too much uncertainty within the scientific community, and that uncertainty was apparent in those so-called "assurances." As a result, people avoided going out in public, and private sector discretionary spending came to a halt. Fearing a collapse of national economies, the world's financial markets closed. The world's ten largest stock exchanges all temporarily ceased operations: New York, Tokyo, NASDAQ, London, the merged European markets (Amsterdam, Brussels, Paris), Toronto, Hong Kong, Frankfurt, Madrid, and the Swiss. Airlines cancelled all international flights. The world's largest self-fulfilling prophecy was realized, when fearing shortages, people rushed stores, markets, pharmacies, and gas stations for supplies.

Well, women rushed the stores anyway.

The majority of the world's men, thus far unaffected, lived in fear. Perhaps ironically, cultures most noted for "machismo" were struck hardest by this fear. There were no reports of violence; but the world's governments were collectively holding their breath, waiting for the expected reports of healthy men exorcising their fear by attacking the afflicted.

Health officials around the world were stumped. No one had the slightest idea what was going on, or even where they should look. No one that is, until a researcher with the Institut Pasteur discovered what he thought was an interesting pattern in a sub-set of the data. Not everyone was sharing data as readily as others; and worse, not everyone was collecting the same data. However, pair of French hospitals had been particularly thorough in their interviews with MRS patients. In hindsight, it was hard to fathom either facility failing to see an interesting and unusually reliable correlation: all of the MRS patients interviewed at these two French facilities had been sexually active... and had fathered children.

It was the birthplace of an idea.

---

"We know what's really been happening to you Jack! We know you're in there, you sick bastard! YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS ANYMORE!"

"Stacy," Jack whispered over the banging, "we've gotta get you and the kids outta here!"

"Jack, we can't ju..."

"Shhhh!" Jack interrupted. "Forget it. They're not looking for you guys. No one is going to hurt you. No one has any reason to hurt you. I'm the one they're afraid of..."

"Jack," Stacy interrupted. "You're not gonna be a martyr. No one's gonna care. Besides, they may be just as angry with us for helping you. No one will see you as a man anymore ... if we can just get away from here we might have a chance. Anywhere else we'd just be two women traveling together with two kids."

"But where can we go? If everyone is turning into women won't they guess..."

"We don't have time to argue Jack," Stacy interrupted again. "We can't say here. We'll ALL go to the garage before someone thinks to try to break in there, and make a break for it in the car. With any luck they won't be ready for a chase and we can get away."

Human children are apparently not too far removed (evolutionary speaking - if you believe it that kind of thing) from the dangers of the wild. This was evidenced by the kids' stunned silence in the midst of all the commotion.

Jack and Stacy took one child each and hastily made their way to the garage. Forgoing the normal seatbelt routine, they dumped the kids in back and locked the car doors. Jack keyed the ignition as Stacy punched the garage door opener. A few anxious moments passed as the garage door began to open... way... too... slowly. One, two, then three pairs of feet appeared under the opening door; followed by a knee, a hand, then an elbow, and finally an angry face peeking in.

"GET THE **** OUT OF THAT CAR JACK," yelled one of Jack's angry co-workers.

Chrissy screamed as their neighbor appeared near her window, lashing out at the car viciously; kicking at her door as one would stomp on a bug.

Waiting for the door to rise, Jack's head swung from window to window. Chrissy was screaming. Little Ben was crying. Stacy was imploring him to go. A neighbor was beating on the window with his hands. A co-worker was ripping off small pieces of the car (wipers, antenna, etc). Another neighbor was throwing anything he could get his hands on at the car. Jack was imagining one of the angry men breaking into the car, dragging them out one by one.... Jack had enough waiting. Popping the clutch, Jack launched the car at the still rising door. The bottom of the flimsy aluminum door caught the very top of the rear windshield, but yielded to the car's mass and sudden velocity.

Jack's family was away.

They were not followed.

They had none of their belongings.

They had themselves, frayed nerves, and half a tank of gas.