Printer-friendly versionTHE RINGER
by Laika Pupkino
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and be warned that it is non-T.G., and a drabble, and very silly. But here is...
by Laika Pupkino
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The crowds cheered for Meredith as her team helped her out of the swimming pool and into her wheelchair.
As she wheeled herself toward the stand to receive her fourth consecutive gold medal it was announced that her wins had all been disqualified, and she was barred from competing.
Meredith was furious, "Just what the hell kind of nonsense are you pulling here?"
"The Paralympics are for disabled people," said the angry official.
The legless swimmer crowed, "Hel-looooo! Are you completely stupid? You see this wheelchair? I can't walk, never could. What am I then if not handicapped?"
"A mermaid!"
.
Comments
Only You
Could do this Lovely Laika, and it's not only hilarious, it's really politically incorrect with the Paralympics just past,
Hugs,
Joanne
Needs a rimshot on the snare drum badly, Laika
Yo do realise some people here do not like puns/shaggy dog stories.
Now I was in the YMCA and the Boy Scouts and we damned near lived on the things.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Shaggy Dog?
Wouldn't that be a Scaley Fish?
And if a Brit were looking at the expression Shaggy Dog... somebody get this poodle off my leg please!
No pun intended...kinda
at least is wasn't a story about Ra PUN zel. Thanks for the cute story, Laika. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And yes, I got soaked from the tears Grover showered as he guffawed, belly laughed, and giggled. Thanks a bunch. :-P
Smooches,
Paula
Paula Young
A life lived in fear is a life half-lived
FWIW...
L. Sprague DeCamp used this premise (a mermaid ringer in a swim meet) in a short story, Nothing In The Rules, in the pulp magazine Unknown back in 1939. It was collected in his A Gun For Dinosaur in 1963, which is where I saw it. (Dates are from a Google search.)
The climax is, uh, memorable...
Eric
unconscious plagiarism?
Or not? I'll never know. On one hand '63 is about when I fell in love with SF, and I might have read DeCamp's version at 9 or 10. Then again, this gimmick is perfectly consistent with how I think, my imagination & sense of humor, and I'm capable of inventing it; so I'll never know. I was reading about a swimmer in the paralympics yesterday, and then thought about those who complain that runners with high tech prosthetic legs actually have an advantage over bone & muscle limbed runners, and I was thinking about some of the poor sportsmanship I witnessed in the Beijing Olympics, and then about Tanya Harding for some reason, all within a few seconds- and the result was this. Popped into my head. It's a drabble, I'd be a bit more bummed about having been beaten to this idea if it was a longer story I'd worked on more...
~~hugs, Laika
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
I think you should write a longer story and work on it more
Or somebody should. Poor disabled boy wants to win in the paralympics so a kind if nutty fairy godfish turns him into a mermaid. :)
What, doesn't everybody have a fairy godfish?
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
officially...
I think anyone who can come up with a "fairy godfish" HAS to be the one who writes this!
~~~hugs, Laika
(Mermaids have a "deep connection to t.g. feelings"? I thought it was just me who wants to be Disney's Ariel...)
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
Fairy Codfish needed
Cod is getting so expensive (it's dearer than salmon in UK—admittedly it's farmed salmon) that a few Fairy Codmothers could be useful for increasing the cod population.
Somehow Salmon and Chips does not seem as inviting as Cod and Chips.
Hugs,
Gabi
Gabi.
IT's TG. . .the Minute the Fairy Godmom Wears a Codpiece
EOM
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
New sitcom on Channel 4
It's about a stuffy pair of aging aristocrats who give up the glamour of London for a fish farm in the Hebrides. Yes, it's:
It could happen.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Wilber... Where's WIlber.
Eddie Albert & Eva Gabor - were so fun in Green Acres.
I watched Petticoat Junction too...
Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks...
And, for those that would like to hear the music behind Erin's song: Green Acres.
They just don't make them like that any more. . .
Annette
Thinking about this made me wonder...
... about how a silkie would do in the olympics... Freestyle is the only stroke it could do correctly I think... But Oooo the advantages...
Annette
Cute :)
L. Sprague de Camp did a longer turn with a similar idea in his short story, "Nothing in the Rules," back in 1939. :) Fictionwise has it for sale on their site and it's in several collections, none of them in print though, far as I know.
Your version couldn't have been done back in 1939, it's a perfectly modern updating of the story. And who says it couldn't be a TG story, mermaids have a deep connection to TG feelings, after all. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Hah!
Eric noted the same story while I was checking the dates. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Fairy Godfish????
It took me a few minutes to stop laughing as I read that comment. The image, the image oh my Gawd!!! This did remind of real life swimmer Natalie du Toit who completed in the Olympics the 10k open water event. Although she wears a prosthetic to walk she swims without one. She placed 16th in a field of 24. She'd also won 5 gold metals at the 2008 Summer Paralympics.
I must agree I would love to see a Fairy Godfish (Darn I'm still laughing at that!) story about a kid being turned into a mermaid.
Laika you're a treasure! I seem to remember that other story too now that someone's mentioned it. I don't care because even if you did unconsciously reuse the idea you certainly put your own unique stamp upon it. :)
Big giggling hugs (Fairy Godfish?) (You and Erin are dangerous!)
grover
Careful
Don't laugh too hard. If the fairy codfather hears you, he'll make you an otter who can't refuse. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
Ooooooo
You wound me with your flying puns.
If you need any help, just call Guido. He'll take care of everything. Who, you ask? That's Guido Savaducci. He aranges things. Yeah, that's what he does.
Annette
Me! Me! Me!
Make me an otter, I can't refuse. ;-)