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Hi,
It's me again.
Having seen what a fantastic response you all gave me for my last blog (which is here if you didn't catch it) and realising that it's just the tip of the iceberg, I wanted to expand upon what I'd written for my new website.
I have taken all your responses into consideration and rewritten the last piece to try and incorporate - where appropriate - your suggestions, both here and on HubPages, but since me and HubPages are not really seeing eye to eye right now, I thought I'd best start my own site.
It's not going to be exclusively TG, but it will have stories of mine, which many of you will already have read. It will also have articles, which I'm hoping will help the great unwashed in understanding what it is to be transsexual.
To that end, if any of you have any suggestions as to what it actually is, I'd really like you to help me to put this article together.
This site is grand for stories and people's thoughts etc, but I figured it would be nice to see things from your own points of view. I mean, there I was happily using transgendered as the keyword - so's not to offend - only to find that it's too wide a term and can cover elements you definitely are not.
So, if you'd help me put the record straight, I'd really appreciate it. If it helps raise awareness in a completely non-political manner, I'm happy to do it.
So can you help?
I sincerely hope so.
Hugs
Nick
Comments
TG: TS vs. CD/TV
Others may have different interpretations, but from what I've gathered, this is the current mainstream thinking in psychological circles.
Transgender (TG) is an umbrella term, covering all forms of transgression to one's birth gender.
Intersex (IS) is something else entirely, and is not included in TG. Current medical terminology is DSD (Disorders of Sexual Development, and they're primarily speaking of prenatal development). In psychological terms of TG, IS people should get a free pass, since their birth gender is indeterminate, or at least muddled.
Transsexual (TS) is used to describe a condition of Gender Dysphoria, one where the individual cannot abide living as their physical birth gender.
Crossdresser/crossdressing (CD) and Transvestite (TV) have ceased to hold individual distinction for many practitioners, and they are most often treated as synonymous, much as their linguistic roots are. Crossdressers are most often comfortable with their birth gender, except they enjoy presenting as the opposite sex at least some of the time.
Sexual Preference is often linked in popular culture with TG, although it's entirely distinct and can neither predict nor be predicted by TG manifestations. In the case of male CDs, approximately the same percentage prefer female partners as the non-crossdressing male population does.
___________________
If a picture is worth 1000 words, this is at least part of my story.
Thanks Pippa
That's pretty much how I saw it, although I had the distinction that a transsexual was someone who was transitioning from their birth gender to their preferred gender after which, the preference would be to be known as whichever gender they transitioned to, rather than as "post op transsexual"
I don't just look it, I'm totally getting this together
Addendum and Clarification
I tried to add this, but discovered you had replied already. Here it is:
By "sexual preference" I meant the whole gay/straight issue, one's choice in sexual partners, not by which sex one wishes to be known.
Thanks again
Cool. That makes a lot of sense.
I don't just look it, I'm totally updated now
CD/TV
RAMI
I read somewhere recently (do not remmeber where)that there is a distiction made between a Crossdresser (CD) and a Transvestite (TV) based on two things 1) The frequency or length of time wearing the clothing of the other gender, and 2) The preceived need to do so.
The CD does so less often and does not feel compelled to do so, while the TV, dresses more regularly and the need to do so is stronger.
Rami
RAMI
So Many
That, and so many other, attempts to distinguish "crossdresser" from "transvestite" have been kicking around for decades. Many assign primarily fetishistic impulses to one but not the other. Unfortunately, some pick one and some pick the other to be the fetishistic one. It ends up being a difference without a distinction. The bulk of the modern psychological community has given up trying to split hairs, and just takes the view that "transvestite" means "crossdresser" in Latin. Which it does.
Flaunt it or hide it
To me, there appears to be an important difference between what I had thought was the meaning of the two terms.
A CD wishes to dress and pass as the opposite sex, whilst a TV dresses but specifically does not wish to pass as the opposite sex and frequently flaunts it.
Whether or not I am using those terms correctly, I do believe there is an important distinction between the two types, and there is a need for terms to describe that distinction. My usage of the terms TV and CD works for me.
flamboyance
That's a drag queen, which is a whole nother subgroup.
Drag Queens
Drag queens are usually excluded by psychologists from the TG category, along with female impersonators. The reason for this is that typically it's either a paying job, or at least a theatrical enterprise. Entertaining an audience might take a certain personality, but it's not necessarily the one that can be definitively linked to having a transgender psychological makeup.
One test would be if the performer "dresses" when not performing. Most don't, hence the exclusion.
A Transsexual is...
...someone who has a body which started off as more-or-less one gender who has had it altered to look more-or-less like the other gender - where 'gender' is what most of the world classifies as either 'male' or 'female'.
That's my take on it. Purely a physical explanation, conveniently ignores all those complex and difficult-to-explain bits about what's going on inside someone's head.
Hmm. I'm not too sure where Intersexed fits in with that idea, but I guess the word Intersexed explains the whole thing anyhow.
Hope this helps.
Penny
Thanks Penny
I don't think "had it altered" necessarily fits, although it depends where down the line that happens to refer.
My friend Rachel had had breast augmentation - which the doctor went bonkers about - before she'd been and had her testes removed, but aside from that, she'd had nothing else done and was still a transsexual before the augmentation was performed.
Thaks though, it all helps in bringing forth a clear picture - if that's possible :)
I don't just look it, I'm totally grateful
Transsexal?
The term Intersex or Hermaphrodite is when the person is born with both or has the appearence of having both sexes. There have been several stories here of that problem. I do know of one authur here that was born with that problem even though she is no longer with this world any longer(stiff). I did grow up with two persons that were discovered being Hermaphrodites when they started puberty. That's as far as will go with that. Richard
Richard
Thanks Richard
Had those right, but have never spoken to one to find out what it's like.
I don't just look it, I'm totally getting my act together...
I think that Pippa's pretty well nailed it
Although I know some post-ops who still consider themselves to be TS, there are also many who just consider themselves to be women/men with a TS history - or even just women/men who had a birth defect.
I had surgery years ago, and have a birth certificate that says I was born a female child and named Susan. I consider myself firmly in the last group.
That old chestnut favoured by much of the press 'The Sex Change' doesn't happen. It's merely a matter of using modern medicine to correct, as much as possible, nature's error, where the gender perceived by the brain differs from that determined by the rest of the body.
I forgot to add; one can be TS without medical intervention. There are many who, for any number of reasons can't or won't have medical intervention and my heart goes out to such people. Transsexualism is a state of mind, not of the body.
Pippa is right; sexual orientation is nothing to do with gender or the sex perceived to be appropriate at birth.
Susie
Thanks Susie
Yes, she was very succinct, but at the same time, informative. :)
The last thing I want to to start a war because I didn't get the terms right.
I don't just look it, I'm totally breathing a sigh of relief
I hope this doesn't get out of hand.
Please understand, I do not wish to offend anyone by my comments. These are my own observations, and I make no judgments about them. If anyone feels strongly about any of what I say, please IM me. Thanks.
This is an incredible hot-button for many of the people here. I stirred up a hornets nest one day by asking the simple question of whether the word "transgender" should have a past tense. Until that day I had no idea that many transsexual ladies consider the term transsexual to be not so much related to the idea of "crossing over" as "transitory". In other words they considered themselves transsexual only while they were in transition. Well, that may be a good explanation for them, but I don't think the professional psychology associations subscribe to that application of the terminology.
From what I have read and observed, I think Pippa got pretty close to current thinking in professional circles. I do have a bit of a problem though, when people use sex (the biological sex of an individual) and gender interchangeably. As far as I know that is how the legal system generally sees things, but every gender psychologist I know sees sex as purely biological, and gender as purely behavioral and associated with roles. The two usually more or less align, but for most readers on this site, we know it's not always the case. In my own life, I find my gender identification somewhat fluid which complicates my life incredibly sometimes.
Anyway, for some interesting reading, check my blog.
Hugs
Carla Ann
That's alright Carla
In my response to Pippa's reply, I said that's how I viewed transsexual. I thought it was transient and once done, that was that.
It appears that some don't look at it that way.
The fact is though, when you're dealing with something that involves people, the best way to obtain the information you need, is to ask those concerned. This isn't time for Freudian explanations as in this particular instance, the answers are often quite simple and straightforward, even if the journeys faced by those transitioning may differ radically.
Anyhow, you haven't started anything bad, so please don't worry.
The stuff will hit the rotary air mover when I post my site and get it on-line. That's when all the differing opinions will come out of the woodwork!
I don't just look it, I'm totally keeping with the beat, Baggy
To T or not to T?
It is frustrating to me because there seem to be more labels than holes in a dozen and a half egg carton. Very early, I was GID and wanted to be a girl. That was quickly beaten out of me and I forgot all about it, or at least repressed it in the interest of self preservation. (They used to just kill us you know.)
As time went on, I found I could survive by being a furitive Cross Dresser, but as I learned more, was quickly overcome by guilt, and the pronouncements of the basty nastards who raised us. I say us for the simple reason that there were two of me. The pathetic little fellow who was trying to impersonate John Wayne, and Bell, (From Beauty and the Beast). For a time, I was even one of those Autogynophiles but quickly found out that the thrill wore off too soon.
Now, I reluctantly live the life of a post op cloistered Nun, and it is really sad because my bedroom window is ground floor with no bars. :( Nope no visitors in the night.
I wonder if your site should do away with all the labels and just be "To T or Not to T?"
Jolly Good
Gwendolyn
Your confusion is well founded, Gwen
I think I should pursue this, as transsexuals feel that they should be accepted and I agree.
The fact is, it's a bloody minefield out there and the more people know about the subject, the less likely they are to view what TS's everywhere are going through, negatively. It's my hope that although I may not reach millions, I may be able to something to reduce the amount of plain ignorance that surrounds it all.
Fingers crossed anyway.
I don't just look it, I'm totally stroking my lucky rabbit's foot
From Sweden
It is somehow of lesser importance what we call our situation (yes I am one of those). The first law regarding the need of medicacl help for transsexual persosons does not even define what TS is. It just takes the need for the person and what should be done to help and in some cases check that persons really know about the syndrome and can live in the changed form. The Law talks about the Recognition of the belonging to a gender-role.
So what we call it is really only necessary to define when we talk to other persons about us (or the persons in the stories).
Ginnie
WPATH member
GinnieG
The other thing to bear in mind
is that the human body is a complex creation. Gender, gonadal sex, brain sex and sexual orientation are not an 'either/or'; they are each on a spectrum. This may be why we have people born with elements of both male and female in their bodies. Also, it could account for why there are asexual and bisexual people. There is no fixed rule in either the latter or the former case and, in the latter case, it may be a matter of personal choice, environment, external pressure or it may be 'wiring'.
Susie
My 0.02 €
Nick, I applaud the effort and your sympathizing thoughts. If you're after information about the various terms and afflictions I suggest you visit www.tsroadmap.com by Andrea James. It's huge and covers a lot of ground.
There are informative websites about the three trans-whatsits, and CD-ing. Just google them and one will find an abundance of websites which contrary to stories that'd have you believe they're all smut, but not so they're there to inform and educate.
This is not to tell you not to bother because there's already enough, quite the contrary. I read your first post, and your HUBpiece, and didn't react. I forgot. :( Sorreee...
But I read it, and well, it's a thoughtful and empathizing piece. May you reach lots of visitors with it, and may they be enlightened. And I am sure that if you want to expand about the T's and such on your HUB and/or website, you'll find plenty of ammunition and information with Andrea James or www.annelawrence.com/twr/ or www.transgendercare.com or www.susans.org
Jo-Anne
Partial transgenderism.
I keep asking myself more and more if there is such a condition as partial Transgenderism. Speaking for myself, with no medical basis to support my suspicions, I think there is. Sadly I'm sure most doctors would say NO but I'm not prepared to truck with doctors anyway. I've had enough conflict with that profession to last a dozen lifetimes.
I know I'm a transvestite and have always been one insofar as I would prefer to present more or less permanently as a woman. However,whilst I want to appear as a woman with breasts and feminine features I do not want to lose my male genitalia.
What is the correct medical term for a 'shemale'? I prefer female company in the social sense and in the sexual sense but that might be because of a traumatic childhood relationship with men stemming from repeated abuse. I tend to avoid male company except other transvestites.
Confused.
Beverly.
One term that has
One term that has been used is "transgenderist", meant to describe a permanent non-operative transsexual with varying amounts of body modification to better suit them to live in a more or less female role. I do not think it was ever included in the DSM-IV-TR, but it has been used by a few people writing about that condition. Ray Blanchard and his freaky cohorts refer to these characteristics as a homosexual condition called autogynephilia, and equate it with pedophilia. However, please remember that he and his cohorts are the people that Homochomosexuality Disorder is based upon.
If you have read the posts above you will recall that transgender is a made up term to sound nicer than transvestite, and was coopted by gay rights activists and made a political term. There cannot be a "partial transgender" in that sense. Either you transgress "normal" human gender roles or you do not.
Shemale is a term coined by pornographers, and not a thing to call yourself unless you are into tearing your self esteem down.
CaroL
CaroL
What a Transsexual is not
What transsexualism is not:
The key item in there, as far as differentiating between "merely" "transgendered" or other possible variant versus transsexual, is a desire to BECOME the opposite "gender". A self conviction that inside, the patient actually *is* the opposite gender to their birth sex. If the patient SELF IDENTIFIES as their birth sex, then they are NOT transsexual. Period. Regardless of how many operations they undergo, or how many medications they take.
Transsexualism is not transvestism or cross-dressing for sexual thrill, psychological comfort or compulsion.
It is not an orientation towards people of the same sex.
It is not related to paedophilia.
It has nothing to do with drag queens.
Transsexual people do not choose their gender identity. Transsexualism is an overpowering sense of different gender identity rather than any sexual orientation: transsexual people may be heterosexual, gay/lesbian, bisexual or celibate.
It is not a mental illness. It is a condition considered in itself to be free of other pathology (though transsexual people can suffer depression or illnesses like anyone else).
Transsexual people who have corrective surgery to align their body with their mind are not some form of sub human. They are post operative during recovery and after recovery are just people with an unusual medical history treated in the same manner as many 46xx women with vaginal agenesis and men with 47xxy birth conditions.
It's not a big thing, and it is not THAT hard to understand if you accept that your situation may be different.
CaroL
CaroL
Sooner or later you will run into this obsolete categorization
If you keep poking around, sooner or later you will run into this OBSOLETE categorization of gender variant, based on the old 1966 Harry Benjamin standards of care Remember, these are obsolete but many still try to use them:
1995 Modified Benjamin Scale, based on 1966 original Benjamin Scale
TYPE 0
Normal sexual orientation and identification, heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. The ideas of "dressing" or "sex change" are foreign and unpleasant. Includes the vast majority of all people.
TYPE I - Transvestite (Pseudo)
Gender "feeling" : Masculine
Dressing Habits and Social Life : Normal male life. May get a "kick" from "dressing". Not truly TV.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Usually heterosexual. Rare bisexual. Masturbation with fetish. Feels guilt. "Purges" and relapses.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : Not considered in reality.
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Not considered. / Not indicated.
Psychotherapy : Not wanted. Unnecessary.
Remarks : Only a sporadic interest in "dressing". Rarely has a female name when "dressed".
TYPE II - Transvestite (Fetishistic)
Gender "feeling" : Masculine
Dressing Habits and Social Life: Lives as a man. Dresses periodically or part time. Dresses under male clothes.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Usually heterosexual. May be bisexual or homosexual. "Dressing" and "sex change" in masturbation fantasy mainly.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : May consider in fantasy. Rejected
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Rarely interested. / May help to reduce libido.
Psychotherapy : May be successful in favorable environment.
Remarks : May imitate male & female double personality with male and female names.
TYPE III - Transvestite - True
Gender "feeling" : Masculine (but with less conviction)
Dressing Habits and Social Life : "Dresses" constantly or as often as possible. May live and be accepted as a woman. May dress under male clothes.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Heterosexual except when dressed. Dressing gives sexual satisfaction, relief of gender discomfort. Common to purge and relapse.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : Rejected but the idea is attractive.
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Attractive as an experiment. / Can be helpful as a diagnostic.
Psychotherapy : If attempted, almost never successful as to cure.
Remarks : May assume a double personality. Trend may be toward Transsexualism
TYPE IV - Transsexual - Non-Surgical
Gender "feeling" : Uncertain Wavering between TV and TS. May reject "gender".
Dressing Habits and Social Life : "Dresses" often as possible with insufficient relief of gender discomfort. May live as man or as a woman.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Libido low. Generally asexual or autoerotic.May be bisexual.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : Attractive but not required.
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Needed for comfort & emotional balance.
Psychotherapy : Only as guidance, most often refused and unsuccessful.
Remarks : Social life dependant on circumstances. Often identifies as "transgenderist".
TYPE V - Transsexual - Moderate Intensity
Gender "feeling" : Feminine "Trapped" in a male body.
Dressing Habits and Social Life : Lives and works as a woman if possible. Insufficient relief from "dressing".
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Low libido. Asexual, autoerotic, or passive homosexual activity.May have been married and have children.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : Requested.
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Needed for a substitute for or preliminary to SRS operation.
Psychotherapy: Rejected. Unless as to cure. Permissive psychological guidance.
Remarks : Operation hoped for and worked for, often attained.
TYPE VI - Transsexual - High Intensity
Gender "feeling" : Feminine. Total "psycho-sexual" inversion.
Dressing Habits and Social Life : Usually lives & works as a woman. No relief from "dressing". Gender discomfort intense.
Sex Object Choice and Sex Life : Intensely desires relations with normal male as a "female" if young. Later libido low. Heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian identification. May have been married and have children.
Conversion Operation (SRS) : Urgently requested and usually attained.
Hormone Therapy/Estrogen Therapy : Required for partial relief.
Psychotherapy : Psychological guidance or psychotherapy for symptomatic relief only.
Remarks : Despises her male sex organs. Strong danger of genital self-mutilation or even suicide if too long frustrated before SRS is attained
[Original version: Harry Benjamin © 1966, Julian press, Modified version: Anne Curr © 1995, Basic Books]
Source: http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/notgid.htm
I repeat, this is an OBSOLETE classification system... but it does have a few advantages, in that it is sometimes useful to understand what is going on. Within the "CD" community... or at least, that part of which that I have personally encountered... the term "TV" is mostly self used by people who actually fall somewhere close to the "Type I" or "Type II"... while folks who feel more comfortable with the "cross dresser" self-label, are (mostly, not always) more in the "Type III" group.
Note that the "Type III" group SELF IDENTIFIES as "masculine" [their birth sex]... but that they may have a "double personality" -- the "female sub-persona" I referred to in my earlier post. And note that while SRS is rejected by this group, the idea is attractive... and experiments with HRT are also attractive. They are NOT female... and DO NOT self identify as such... but they definitely have some STRONG transgendered traits. Traits that sometimes (not always, just sometimes) will lead this particular group a bit farther into the "gender twilight zone" than perhaps they should really go. Minor surgeries, that don't make it impossible to continue to mostly live in their birth sex. HRT... sometimes only taken as an experiment for a short while, sometimes an experiment that is repeated multiple times -- until the cumulative effect results in significant breast development.
Some of these folks might be more accurately placed as "Type IV - Transsexual - Non-surgical"... except they don't quite meet the criteria for *that*, either. A spectrum... where some people fall neatly into catagories... and some sort of fall *between* those groups, not really either one. [Part of why this is an obsolete classification system, by the way... but that is not important to the current topic].
You may be tempted to think these are the Holy Grail, but have not been in use by MOST professionals in at least 10 years, and will be absent in the DSM-V to be published in 2013.
You may also run across "Primary" and "Secondary Transsexual", but that too is now considered passe".
CaroL
CaroL
Bollocks
Thank you for taking pains to point out that this classification protocol is obsolete.
My first clue that it is a load of bollocks is that none of the categories seem to include me. There's a good reason for this failure, if you properly analyze the problem of classification.
It is impossible to classify people on a single scale when you are measuring multiple variables.
Let me repeat that for dramatic effect. (Damn! This needs emphatic background music and an echoing announcer's voice! The best I can do here is to screw around with the font.) It is impossible to classify people on a single scale when you are measuring multiple variables.
In this case, Benjamin is trying to measure birth gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, kinkiness/sexual role (top/bottom, etc.), sexual appetite, gender presentation/aesthetic, and a couple other things. As none of them are related to each other, i.e. can vary independently in different individuals, his system has... how to put this kindly... certain deficiencies.
To be certain, it had its uses when knowledge was more limited. Specifically, it was intended for the identification of those individuals who might be candidates for SRS. And, in its day, it was quite a breakthrough, and needs acknowledging as such. As all the other "categories" basically just mean "not a candidate for SRS," nothing else should be read into them, nor should they be used to discuss or attempt to categorize individuals who aren't TS.
have to respond ....
I have to respond because, no, Harry Benjamin didn't really try to do that. He was, apparently, a New York endocrinologist whose practice happened to pick up a lot of transgendered (before that term had any definition at all; we've always been around regardless of whether there have been words for us, or how the words divided us into neat boxes) sex workers ... he gave them hormones. They got less neurotic and adapted better to society (the definition of psychological benefit?). I actually knew someone who had been a patient and friend (the two terms were, for him, apparently nearly synonymous; it appears that he was a very sweet man) of his.
The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA; they've changed their name now) was founded in the eighties, I believe, primarily by pshrinks. Note that Benjamin wasn't a pshrink. The pshrinks wanted their money (okay, that's rude, and it's unfair to the honorable minority), or wanted to insure that disasters didn't happen. The surgeons and endos realized that the pshrinks' greed was setting them up to play gatekeeper, which meant ... only the pshrinks could get sued, if the surgeons and endos just made sure to require a rec from a pshrink.
If you'd like to be shocked by how medieval the world could be in the lifetime of people you know, go look up psych articles from around 1980 on gender variance. That was pretty close to the nadir; it was the pendulum swinging toward rigid control away from the rather free-wheeling experimentation of the sixties and seventies (which rarely involved pshrinks). Since then, the attitude has come back pretty much to what Pippa outlined: there's a condition of mind/body mismatch that can't be solved by changing the mind, and has to be solved by changing the body (well, or the unspoken bits: you can destroy the mind, or destroy the body, and in all three cases you get congruence ... it's just that there's only one in which the congruent body is living and sane).
Anyway, the point: HBIGDA != Harry Benjamin. Also, there's a bit mentioned earlier that includes links to Andrea James and Anne Lawrence ... I thought that odd. Check Andrea's characterization of Anne (it's on her site). I'm not sure that the TG/TS/TV/T*/gender-variant community *is* a community (although topshelf makes me doubt that cynicism, from time to time).
Amy!
IMHO, The real solution for T folk
Now having been at this for a few years, I have some opinions about it. Maybe this is a century away, but what a beautiful world this would be if it did not matter what gender you were, what you wore or what color your skin was. I know a transgendered man who is 6'5" and the poor woman will never fit in the female envelope, dammit. Would it not be a much nicer world if she could wear any damn thing she wanted and no one would ever even give her a second look? It would be nice if she could be a Cop during the day time and then at lunch do needle point while her coworkers are talking about their Trucks.
Ultimately, I think that SRS is not the real solution to all our problems. Hopefully, in time, the relaxation of the rigid role model for the man may ease the need to do this. For those of us who just have to be women, then perhaps eventually this can be detected at an early enough age that things can be done so that we grow in to reproductive women.
Look back at how it was 50 years ago, and then think of how it can be in another 50 years. Damn, I'll probably only make it another 40 or so. :(
Gwen
TS.
Thousands of doctors worldwide can't decide on a 'definition' of transsexual.
Like a lot of 'disorders' it comes in a spectrum of how debilitating it is and what the sufferer feels they are willing to do.
so in a rainbow in two (or more) dimenstions... we have people who are aware of their issue but don't really feel bothered about it... all the way up to people who will do something no matter the personal cost.
At the same time there is an axis of colour intensity that describes how you feel you can do something about it. There are those who feel that although they know they are a different gender on the inside as opposed to that assigned at birth they feel at one end of the spectrum that they will just struggle through and tough it out. Even if it means personal suffering. Then there are those who will go ahead inspite of huge personal obstacles; like loss of family relations, religious shunning, mental ward incarcerations, and hugely deformed puberties (major macho body types, or massively exagerated female 'curves') to attain their goal of being the inside gender at the cost of 'acceptance or passing'
I myself regret all my delays in this journey. I originally 'came out' when I was 14 when my mother confronted me. When I was 13 very few shrinks had heard of TSism and I was instantly stamped... gay transvestite. I was sent to reform school to give me a 'strong male rolemodel' (the counsellors not the fellow inmates). In spite of the threat of being beaten up by a dozen peers... most in the reform school in hopes of making them less violent, I still cross dressed and prayed for god to 'fix me'.
I think the hardest part of applying the label of TSism is the desire to belong to a group. This has created the label of TG which hopes to oneday include all forms of gender expression. Personally I think being included in with fetishistic TVs, "shemales", gay transvestites, gender benders, and others muddys the waters for those who which to be recognised as "TS" when trying to blend into the polarity that exists in today's concept of 'normal' as defined by mainstream media and religious leaders.
In my experience (personal and observed)... TSes don't want to be accepted for who they are... they want to be accepted as the gender inside and dissappear into being just another person like everyone else. They don't want to be classified as TS except as a process of identifying resources to complete their journey. I can only summarise this as my personal history. I don't want to be TS when I'm done. I see the SRS as a transformation from Transsexual to just Woman.
I know this will ruffle feathers and so please just take it as my humble opinion and if you don't like it... just skip along to the next comment. I will not respond to any negative comments so hopefully that will avoid any flame wars over my non-mainstream position.
Thanks,
Nobody.
The old problem
There are two ways of looking at a definition such as Transsexual.
The first is to treat it as a term which implies "something wrong" or "in transition".
"I don't want to be TS when I'm done. I see the SRS as a transformation from Transsexual to just Woman."
If you use the word this way, it's a bit like an illness or having a broken bone: once you have been cured/fixed, you no longer need the word to describe you.
The alternative use of the word is to use it to describe you. In this scenario, since you are a result of your entire history from birth, the word will aways apply no matter what you current do or look like. I don't find that to be a bad thing. My past history includes periods when I might have seemed entirely male. If that time hadn't existed, the person I currently am could not exist now. We do not have the same past as a normal genetic female. Unlike them, I will always have within me the struggle to achieve what I know to be the real me, and that is something that no normal woman has any experience of.
That's why I will always be transgender. I know I can never be entirely female, never know what it was to grow up as a girl. Even if I do transition completely, I know that I will always be different to other women. I don't have a problem with that. I don't feel a pressing need to conform to those around me - but then I've always had a problem with strict stereotyping. After all, if I didn't, I wouldn't be here at all, would I?
So long as society can accept me as superficially what I appear to be, that will be sufficient. Nobody sees the real me, anyway, so what does it matter what I might look like inside?
Penny
Old quote
From an interview of me at a time when I went by another name...
Gender is really outdated. You might say that we're very much wired as a society to believe that there's only 2 answers... gender isn't just male or female. There's a plethora of options between, why do we have to stick with one or the other? It's not a yes/no binary question. It's like asking someone from Canada, "Do you live in Montreal or Toronto?" with absolutely no expectation of any other answer - it's completely ridiculous.
Old symbol
The rainbow flag.
It's all been said,and a lot of sense spoken, so all I can do is "vote"
We live in our minds,our bodies are just vehicles. Important ones, indeed, but they are not "us"
So, my vote? Female with a need to get some new wheels. My sexuality is a completely different thing. That's like drving a Ford and liking ice cream, there is no correlation.