can someone help me

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Someone told me that my latest story attempt was very disjointed, so can someone tell me what that means, and how I can correct that problem? How can I make my story join?
I will appreciate any sugestions. I really have good ideas for this story and I want it to be awesome.

Comments

disjointed can mean a couple things

Disjointed can mean a couple things. The most common meaning is that there break in flow in the story where two paragraphs don't lead into each other correctly. Which can cause pause or simple won't sound right.

Another common meaning is that the stories internal logic doesn't make sense. i.e. you have characters saying and doing things that don't fit the environment ,which makes for a disjointed story.

disjointed

As was said, disjointed isn't that precise, but it usually means that the story does not flow well for that reader.

More than just the connection between paragraphs though, it could be segues between scenes, or that the pace of the story shifts. Having a great many, very short scenes will make the story choppy and annoy some people. Having long and then short scenes often can too. If it is only a matter of segues, then simply using a dingbat between the scenes might be enough. More likely you need to cover a little more in each scene, and then add "mean while back at the ranch" each time you move somewhere else (I wouldn't use those exact words however.)

Disj ointed

I'm the queen of not-too-understandable dialogue and story flow, but I say, if you enjoyed it (writing and reading), and if it makes sense when you read through it *like a reader*, then you're doing it right.

Just 'cause nine hundred and ninety-nine out of a thousand other readers disagree doesn't mean you're wrong :-)

It just means you're weird.

;-)
Michelle

Disjointed but not stoned (much)

When I took creative writing in college.

We did exercises where we analysed fiction. We took every event and made an elipse (flattened circle) and wrote the event in it. Then we drew lines between circles to show how each related. This can include dialog subjects too.

Events that weren't linked stand out glaringly.

Best of Luck.
Dayna.

Take time

I have just read a little of your story, and I think there is a great story inside you wanting to get written. You write good English and can express your thoughts well. I can also see what the reviewer means by disjointed.

I believe the real problem is that there is so much story inside you, you want to write it down quickly before it goes away. There's nothing wrong in doing that, with one proviso - that is simply the start of the process. My advice is you then leave it alone long enough to forget it - with me that takes about four weeks, and I will often go on to another story which I've previously left, or start a new story.

Then go back to it and read it as a new reader will. You will soon start noticing things wrong with your text - for example, some of your plot devices happen so quickly, perhaps just one or two paragraphs, before you move onto something else - so start to make changes. Flesh out the skimpy devices and give them some body. Some of the speech appears wooden and too formal, so make people sound like they really talk. When you've done that, do it again, and again and...

When you think it's near perfect, leave it alone again for another few weeks before coming back and doing the same again. Hopefully, you will find only a few amendments you need to make, but if there are a lot, then keep repeating the process. Obviously, there's a case of diminishing returns, and at some stage you can take the decision to publish and be hanged.

I will never publish a part-finished story, preferring to get the whole thing right before committing any of it to the public, but if you really want to do so, my advice is to get the whole story basically written and left for a few weeks, then start dealing with a chapter at a time. And you can be working on the next chapter whilst you're setting aside the previous one.

Writing a story takes real time and committment. Don't rush it and you will produce excellent stories.