I Am The Most Terrible Of Terrible People

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Okay, so that's obviously a blatant lie, but still: I FEEL like I'm an awful person, which is about the same thing right?

I don't know how many of y'all know this, but I've been doing art and music commissions. Well, I received a fairly large pile of 'em from a friend, and up until the last couple weeks I was steadily workin' through 'em, doing really well.

Then I decided to take a break to tackle a couple OTHER projects that had snuck in (one of which I still need to finish too . . . .)

And then last week I just flat out sucked. I told them -- PROMISED them -- I would have the next piece done by Friday. Friday came, and went, and now it's Sunday and I'm only about a quarter of the way through the piece.

UGH.

It's not been a COMPLETE loss of a week. The One Dozen Roses thing is shaping up nicely, I've gotten myself started exercising (a little) again, I've done a LOT of reading and even written OVER 12K WORDS! Not in Discord or stuff here, like on an actual story! Woo!

But none of that pays the bills. The art commissions do, and I managed to throw myself into a big, fat pit o' Suck. I've got several for them, plus a couple that are waiting in the wings for OTHER folks. I know that if I put the time in I could have all their projects knocked out in no time: at six to eight hours a night, it should, SHOULD, only take me 4 nights or so per piece. Instead I've been picking at this one for over a week. It's not even like it's at a hard spot: I just need to get off my ass and finish it, but NOOO, my smarty-pants brain is all like 'HAH! No drawin' fer you! Go study styles of heels instead!' Or shop for books. Or watch a YouTube video on the history of Betamax. Anything but What I Need To Be Doin'. It's not even I don't WANT to do it, it's just . . . just . . .

UGH.

So, anyway. How're y'all doing?

Melanie E.

Comments

Not bad Melanie

Podracer's picture

I have felt like that before, no mojo, phelorum, go or whatever. It does however feel so good when I pick up and get on with just one piece of the mountain and move it along, it seems to bring back the ol' momentum. Hope you get yours back right soon and can see how you smashed it. Or even nibbled a bit!

"Reach for the sun."

That's the problem with being creative

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

When my muse is engaged, everything just seems to flow. When it's not, it's very difficult to even outline the plot. Exercising our talents isn't like any other job. Inspiration and impetus to move forward are necessary. Ask me to pick up a plan and build something and I can work all day on it with few breaks. Ask me to design the plan and most times, no problem... but sometimes, I look at the blank page and my mind is anywhere but on the task at hand.

That problem is at it's worst when I've worked on the project and stepped away for a break to do something else. Getting back to it is a pain. Getting the juices flowing to be creative in it is like trying to climb a shear cliff face with your hands tie behind you.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt

I have to agree with Patricia

Amethyst's picture

That is indeed the problem with being creative. Sometimes it's hard to get back on a project and find the energy to go at it again. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, just that your muse needs some time to recharge and get back on task. Creative work isn't like just any nine to five job, you need the drive and inspiration to do it properly or you're just half-assing it and if you do that you're just not happy with it and want to start again after you have a good look at it. Better to wait for your creativity to flow and your muse to cooperate again, for everyone involved.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3

Your Friend

Your Friend is amazed at your work product and is not at all concerned about your SELF-IMPOSED deadlines.

Jill

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

You kiddin'? This thing's lookin' dope as HELL.

I'm just stressing myself out over it.

Angie's right: I tend to put a lot tighter deadlines on myself than other's ask, especially on this project. It just upsets me when I say "Oh, yeah, I'll have it done by X!" And then it's like a week and a half later and NOPE.

I tend to psyche myself out pretty bad. It's a nasty habit of mine I need to fix. :)

Melanie E.

The Disadvantages of Being Driven

For a long time I thought that my life had completely failed and my family shit in my face. Had a huge pity party for years. Trump, the Pandemic, and stuff caused me to scale my expectations back. These days I don't do anything I don't want to, and my expectations are nil. If things don't work out, screw it. If things turn out, someone very powerful must be helping me, and I'm thankful.

Gwen