despair

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well, not really, more mildly miffed... I've just finished putting together a flat pack coffee table, and it's HUGE - way too big for my living room... the dimensions aren't bad (the top's big enough to hold my laptop, ashtray, teapot, cup and saucer), but the legs are a massive 2.5" square. The worst thing is I can't even take it back as the screws supplied were so shoddy the heads have all deformed, even though I drove them by hand.

Anyone need an ugly coffee table, before I put an ad on the bulletin boards in work?

Comments

Why not...

Just get out your trusty chain saw and carve up the legs a little bit. :-)

More seriously - if you like the top... and it's free standing legs, Cut them off - and put smaller legs on. :-)

Or, Drill out their lame screws. Take the legs off and 'cut down' the legs to a reasonable size, get new mounting hardware and re-attach. :-)

How you like these country solutions? :-)

Wait, you've got a fire place. Break it up... The wood's nicely cured... Should burn really fast. :-)

Toxic smoke

At only a third of the price of a week's ciggies, and - however bad the resin etc - giving off smoke that would be less toxic than the 'weed', burning it seems a sensible option. However, you don't get repaid for the effort you put in (and I'm guessing it was a lot more for you than it would be for me...). How about getting someone to saw off the legs and propping it on piles of books? Chez nous, a suitably protected pile of books does duty for lots of similar purposes. I'm dreading moving.

I found out not so long ago that the wood recycling skip will not take hardboard, MDF, chipboard, sterling board, plywood, even blockboard... anything that is bound together with synthetic resin. Apparently, all the rest gets chipped and turned into particle board, thus rendering it subsequently unfit for anything except what is usually referred to euphemistically as "thermal recovery".

BTW Ceri, if you look in furniture shops or at their webites, pretty much all timber-based furniture (and I use the word "timber" here in its loosest sense, to imply at least some as-grown cellulosic content) seems to have legs in the 60-80 mmm region. (That's in the UK - elsewhere YMMV.) We have been looking in vain for an occassional table, a settee, and a footstool, and we have put the whole project on hold until the fashion moves on.

Xi

PS
I can asure you that the big blue box also discrimnates against those who do drive. Surely you do not think that going there is a pleasurable experience; do you? Purgatory seems more fun to me. :-)

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It's not Swedish - that company discriminates against people who don't drive - it's from Argos :)

It only cost £20 so not a huge loss, and it's a fair chunk of well finished MDF, so I'm not ruling out taking a saw to it and making a new sand table for my record player...

I bought something similar

I bought something similar from Argos a few years ago and it was rubbish. I took it back and they refunded my money without asking any questions. I bought a replacement from M&S which was more expensive but much better quality (and they delivered it to work).

I'm always wary of things made out of ...

... reconstituted hamster droppings. You can't even burn them safely because of the potentially toxic glue. Don't you need any more bookshelves? After the load of Edwardian research material you were writing about recently you must be overwhelmed with hefty tomes that need shelf space.

And what on earth do you need an ashtray for? Surely you don't ... do you? ;)

Geoff

No Offense, Honey, But...

...are you serious? "Despair," as a title for this blog entry?!? Since when is a knocked-down kit coffee table worthy of "despair"? Despair is an emotion best reserved for interpersonal relations gone horribly wrong, or the declining health of a loved one, or oneself. Or a financial tragedy of the sort that makes some people carelessly risk squashing innocent pedestrians on the street below while taking a swan dive. Or being forced to live a life that is intolerable. But a 20-quid coffee table?? I don't think so. "Mildly miffed" would have been a much better title.

am I serious?

the answer is, of course, seldom, but despair and I have a more than passing acquaintance. I try not to dwell on things like being off work for most of the year so far because I've not been able to walk more than a few yards, or that I've not been able to play guitar, and many other things for a couple of years because my hands are no longer clever enough. The real humdinger though has been watching my brother waste away over the past decade and a half from the same condition.

I've no excuse for still smoking, and I did give up for a year or so... I'll give it another go in the next few weeks - I miss the £60 I didn't spend on tobacco, and being able to hit a 'C' without wheezing :)

The Edwardian books are still piling up; I've pretty much covered the political, and social history of the period, but am waiting on another few books from Amazon - one's a facsimile of the Baedeker guide to London for 1900, and I've two on period fashion yet to arrive. Roy Hattersley's 'Edwardians' has been invaluable (once you wade through the political section it covers a lot of social and cultural ground), as has Max Arthur's 'Lost Voices of the Edwardians' on working class life, and A N Wilson's 'After the Victorians'. when I finally get down to finishing the first 'Natty Sharpe' story I may have to include a bibliography!

If you DO want to take it back ...

... take the deformed screws out, take them to a friendly hardware store, and have the helpful clerk match them. Buy the same amount of screws (inexpensive, believe me -- you'd be surprised). Then pack it all up in the box, and bring it back to the store for a refund. Problem solved.

Of course, the store winds up getting better screws out of the deal, but honestly? Better them being screwed than you, hon. *wicked grin*

Randalynn

"Go get 'em, Tiger." -- Mary Jane Watson, Spiderman 2